End of an Era: Umbral [Tammo's Competition]

[MathLuk]

Disclaimer: I do not own the dream flashback sequences, which have appeared from 2008 to 2011 in The Chains that Bind Us, another piece of Redwall fanfiction that still resonates within my mind to this day. They belong to Jade TeaLeaf either wholly or partly.

Spoiler

For Jade, who made this world of wonder and ruin.

End of an Era: Umbral

Keetch awoke once more in the Void.

In his previous visits to Vulpuz's lair, he had only borrowed trickle after trickle of his power. Now, after so much had happened and so many corpses made, he would need more of it. Being fatally stabbed by the weasel king was also a factor that sent him here from the real world, or rather the world that is real for him.

The Void (or Abyss, or Darkness, or whatever the next beast who enters it might think of) was just like an ocean - a body of cold, turbulent liquid. The only difference was that this liquid had the tendency to drain everything. The pain from the dagger wound, the strength brought from his previous determination, and even his exhaustion from before - they are all gone in the Void.

"So you're not dead yet, hmm?" A pair of blank pearls made their way from the further reaches of the emptiness. The Lord of Hellgates always appeared with his eyes first, followed by the rest of his body, clad in a scarlet and gold robe, accentuating his flame-red fur. By the time Vulpuz arrived, the white-furred snow fox was already kneeling.

"I have told you all too many times that there is no need for useless rituals, Keetch," the divine fox whispered creepily. "You need my help again?"

Keetch swiftly nodded, earning him a look of disapproval from the ancient deity. The first time they met, Brink and Keetch were trapped in a mire of toads who were seeking to take them captive. After their first encounter ended with drinking and shedding of more blood than was necessary, Keetch found more and more of his soul becoming the property of another.

"What now? Some more toads? Pirates?" The old fox joked. 'Nothing you couldn't handle, seeing that you had already borrowed so much."

"Greymorg." The snow fox shouted. It may be a foolish thing to gain the attention of a much more powerful being so rudely, but time was of the essence. "It must be destroyed. Now!"

"Oh? Why so hasty? Not like you can lose much more. Your damned rabbit is dead, and your otter rushed into battle like a madbeast." Ignoring the white fox's offended stare, he continued, "Honestly, what is with woodlanders with suicidal overconfidence?"

"I'm still saving him!" Keetch yelled indignantly. "I need your power. All of it! Now!" It took less than a second before he realised that he snapped at the lord of all vermin. This, obviously, was not a good idea in any sense of the word.

Far from expressing rage, Vulpuz displayed a demon's grin on his narrow muzzle. "My, my. You are not in the right mood for negotiations and small talk today, hmm?" Observing no reaction from the younger fox, Vulpuz was in no mood of stopping. "You really need better friends, Keetch. Preferably friends with no suicidal inclinations."

"My lord, this is a serious matter. My life is already forfeit, my allies slowly being slaughtered by other vermin..." Keetch mulled over the next phrase. Could Brink ... "And my friend is fighting an evil unforeseen before."

"Fine. FIne. I see what you mean. You really want to do this? No coming back from this. You see, you're going to go kaboom once this is all over, and your soul will be mine. Just like that. Use this power in any way you want to. Toppling castles, healing the wounded, or providing heat for warm baths, I care not. The only rules are that it has to be used as a pure form of energy, and that reviving the dead will not be possible. Hellgates is strictly one-way, and I cannot break rules that are not mine, can I?"

Seers have their own rules, and Vulpuz was powerless to interfere with them - he was only to regulate their usage. It would take a few eternities to list them all, but Keetch was not interested in this kind of pointless drivel. Besides, Keetch was trained, but by an almost senile hag who met her fate at a slave's dagger. One cannot see everything, after all.  "Grack was just a fool. Knowledgeable, but a fool still the same. She knows not of a seer's true power - and neither do you." 

Keetch was confused, and Vulpuz knew it. "You see, dreams are the gateway to being a true seer, and by using energy in the World of Dreams, you can..."

"My lord, I beg of you to leave the instructions for later. I - I have a friend to save. I need your assurance that he will not be harmed by all I can do."

Vulpuz sighed, shaking his head. "Very well. Brink will be... untouched. How disappointing. No one wants to listen to me talk about what I know best. But all is  Do your thing. I'll receive my payment sooner or later." He handed Keetch the glass of blood, and witnessed him wince.

"You only have this one shot. Remember what you want, then take action."

Keetch drinked from the whole cup until every single drop was not in the goblet. The bittersweet taste of the liquid resonated in the fox's muzzle for the last time as the Lord of Hellgates laughed on. And on. And on.

Keetch had but one shot. And he knew it.

-

Keetch's eyes opened, taking in the usual decadence of the royal chambers - and the gloating weasel king.

He felt hot. Then he felt cold. Then he felt nothing.

As he reached out his paw, he reached for a reservoir of power, all bottled up within him. Then he let loose.

Within the blink of an eye, King Ragnar caught on fire. His royal garments blazed with crimson, and he had nowhere to run.

While Ragnar screamed in pain, Keetch screamed in rage.

While Ragnar screamed in desperation, Keetch screamed in rapture.

He tapped into more of the source that Vulpuz gave him, and the fire burned even brighter, earning even more screams from the burning figure in front of him. More and more, King Ragnar screamed, screeched, howled - then he perished, his body yet alight with the otherworldly flame.

Keetch closed his eyes as he savoured the unknown force. It was like drowning - in a torrent of bliss and in a torrent of water at the same time. It made him feel fear nor happiness, hope nor despair, love nor hate.

He felt alive.

As he edged closer to death than he had ever been before, he felt that he had never ever been well and truly alive.

Two guards rushed at him. A lance of blazing fire was flung, followed by a spear of glittering ice. One guard burned away like a moth that hovered too close to a flame, while the other could not even move before he dropped to the ground.

Keetch flew as he ran, lightning coursing through his veins, then through his bones, and through his skin and fur as well. Then he let loose everything.

The sky darkened, and in one single motion, a bar of lightning was hurled from the heavens, melting stone and steel, wood and clay flesh and bone.

For a while, everything was completely still. Nothing moved. Nothing dared to move.

Then everything burst apart.

-

Keetch awoke once more in the Void. Again. Floating this time.

Well, this time was different, of course. The lighting blast must have pushed him past his limits.

He saw Hellgates - a glowing, shimmering iron archway that slowly dragged him towards it. Keetch knew of its properties - Grack told him all about it. The cruel vixen had taught Keetch too much about too little, it shall seem.

Almost there... Keetch was edging closer to Hellgates now. Sooner or later, he will have passed through it... Was this how everyone who have passed have to actually leave?

He was only a few paces through, that he decided to paddle toward it. Close enough to grasp it, it only took a few more motions to get close enough...

And Keetch collided head-first into the Gates. His limbs simply cannot wedge their way through the bars, and the Gates refused to open for him. After continuing to struggle with the unyielding steel, Keetch simply sat down to think about why they have not opened for him.

He had only trained with Grack for little more than two seasons - enough to know the basic tricks and the intricacies of foretelling, but mastery would be beyond him. He was little more than a floating soul - a drop of oil in an ocean. He closed his eyes and waited for every last trace of him to cease to exist.

-

"Are Fireflies dead?" Clove asked as she shook the jar. "Strange. Fireflies are moving."

The rabbit was a poor thing, recently released from slavery to Keetch's old master. A small emancipated beast, Keetch was barely starting to recover from his fall into the quarry ravine. He had never been more glad to see another beast. Being locked for her entire life seemed to have broken her spirit, but Keetch seemed to bring her back to her original state.

Her death shook Keetch much indeed. The mouse warrior had to console him with a few promises to provide a motivation to destroy Greymorg. Judging by the size of the explosion Keetch had caused, he has succeeded.

"They're busy resting," Keetch answered.

"Oh." She stopped sloshing the glass container around.

"Besides," he began, "I think you should let them go now."

"What?!"

"Um..."

"Keetch wants Clove to let the fireflies go?"

"You have to," he urged, though from the way she reacted next, he was quite sure that he hadn't set the right tone of voice.

"Please Keetch!" she begged. "Clove will serve Keetch better! Promise! Clove will be very very good. Don't make Clove let Fireflies go!"

"But look at them," he said, pointing at her prisoners. "They're supposed to be free. They'll die if you keep them locked up like this."

"Fireflies won't," she declared. "Clove will take extra good care of Fireflies." He shook his head, adamantly crossing his arms over his chest.

"Would you rather have them die?" he asked sharply.

"... No," she said, averting her gaze, tears falling freely as her lower lip trembled. "Clove just wanted Fireflies to be with Clove..."

"Clove, sometimes you have to lose something to keep it safe. Do you understand?"

"Mm-hm," she nodded, sniffling as she rubbed her nose with a sleeve.

"So let them go."

"Do you really care about them?" She nodded sullenly.

"Do you want them to die?" For some reason, he found his tone somewhat distant and flat. He watched as her eyes widened in shock as she shook her head furiously.

"Then remember this Clove, because it's important," he raised a claw in emphasis. "If anybeast truly cares about anything, he'll do whatever it takes to protect it- no matter what happens. If you really care about those fireflies, you'd let them go even if you feel all lonely inside. They'll be happier this way."

-

"Clove!"

Keetch sat up suddenly, his eyes wide open. The rabbit was dead, and there are few that would remember her, Keetch did not want to leave her, but he just felt a bit guilty about having to join her so soon. He only had one chance, one shot with her. Too bad it was wrenched away as quickly as it was granted to him.

He closed his eyes once more, hoping to see another beast from his own past. Perhaps someone who will be alive...

-

"Hello. My name is Tarka. And these are Skipper and Melo. Is it alright if I talk to you?"

"Oh." Keetch replied. He was still a cripple locked within the walls of Redwall at that time. "I thought I recognized your voice. You're the one who keeps talking on the other side of the door."

"Just a minute," the otter said slowly as he scribbled things down, "I'm trying to write as fast as I can."

"Can I see your writing?"

"Huh?" He asked, not hearing right.

"I... I've heard of writing, but where I come from, there's no use for such things. I've only seen them once or twice in my lifetime." Back then, Keetch saw nor reason for deception, so he was actually telling the truth.

Skipper quickly grabbed away the paper on which Tarka was writing, and handed it to the white fox.

Keetch, having never seen something as delicate and intricate as these symbols before, was amazed. Every single symbol was different, but all of them put together was something more.

"How long did it take you to learn how to read and write?"

"Ummm... I suppose it took me five seasons to be this good,"

Keetch handed the glyphed paper back to Skipper, who wrenched it out of his paws and handed it to Tarka in turn.

Keetch studied the otter in front of him. He was rather small for an otter, and clearly liked writing more than physical exertion. Tarka lifted the paper higher, as if to shield his muzzle from the fox's gaze - an indication of shyness.

"You seem familiar..." Keetch said slowly.

"Hm? Ah, yes. I was the one who found you near the abbey gates," I say quietly.

That explained much. "And you were the one who tried to stop him," he finished, indicating at Skipper, who was standing next to Tarka.

"Yes." Skipper's face did not even indicate even a twinge of guilt

"You wanted to ask me something?"

"Erm, yes. Can you tell me about yourself?" The smaller otter asked awkwardly. As Keetch remembered correctly, this was the Apprentice Recorder's first sight of vermin, so he was right to be a little wary. Keetch's past wasn't squeaky clean either.

"And why does it interest you?" Keetch responded. Tarka shrugged. He clearly was taken aback by the question, but decided to answer anyway.

"My name is Keetch and I came from the North. They don't call that area up there The Dark North for nothing. It's dark most of the time, but only when it's winter. When it's summer, the land changes from being a frozen wasteland to cool and green. But winters, I feel, are the longest seasons," Keetch stopped.

"Could you please continue?" Tarka said innocuously, not knowing how painful Keetch's past was to him.

"What more do you want me to say?"

"There has to be more to you than what you just told me," I replied, "How about your childhood? Your life, your family, your dreams? How about how you met Brink? How about you tell me of your travels, adventures, slavery..."
"So you noticed the band then?" he asked solemnly.

"Y-yes," Tarka sighed, clearly regretting prying into Keetch's previous experiences.

"I'm sorry, but I don't feel like talking about that or anything else about me," Keetch sighed, saying the sentence like a simple matter of fact.

"Are you sure? You don't have to talk about that, you can talk about anything you'd like," Tarka said invitingly, almost seeming desperate for any form of communication.

"I'm sure," Keetch replied tersely. Tarka originally wanted to force the conversation, but decided that he had intruded into the fox's privacy too much and too often.

"Alright then," Tarka said, nodding respectfully, "Thank you for your patience. I'm sorry to have disturbed you today. Is it alright if I come again tomorrow?"

His gestures of politeness puzzled Keetch. "I'm a prisoner here. I don't seem to have a choice but to listen to you anyway, but thank you for the conversation."

"You're not a prisoner here," Melo spoke up. He was a mouse who thrived on heroic tales of warriors past, and desired nothing else but to be like them. "Prisoners don't receive food, water, or medicine. And prisoners definitely aren't allowed a choice. You don't have to answer the questions- we don't torture like your kind does," Melo said, his voice faltering at the last word.

"Finally! Let's leave!" Skipper cried out. Of all the creatures living at Redwall, he was the one who was the least receptive to vermin. On his journey, Brink told him that he had lost somebeast very precious to him to vermin like him, so that would explain his aggression.

"Goodbye," Tarka said politely, clearly hoping that he will be more willing to answer more questions tomorrow.

"Goodbye." Keetch responded in kind.

-

Keetch woke up, this time more naturally and without screaming.

Tarka was probably not dead, judging by Vulpuz's lack of revelations delivered. So one of the beasts that knew him were yet alive. He will be sure to remember him from beyond the grave.

Perhaps another sleep shall clear his head?

-

"Are you both sure you want to leave?" the Badgerlord asked, not for the first time that day.

"Yessir, I'm sure," Brink smiled as he shouldered his pack.

"And thank you for your hospitality," Keetch finished with a polite bow of his head. The snow fox heard several of the hares snort in contempt at this statement. Of course, Lord Rathor must have heard it too, for he sent a frosty glance at several hares.

"Do you two think you have enough food?" the badgerlord asked.

"Thanks," Brink answered, "But I think I have enough." Keetch, in response, simply nodded his head, eager to be going.

"Just a moment," the badgerlord's voice boomed, "I have a little something for the both of you." Eager to see what gift was to be bestowed upon him, Brink rushed to the badger while Keetch approached gingerly.

"As you both know by now," Lord Rathor began, "Mount Salamandastron prides itself on not only the security it brings to all of Mossflower, but the hospitality it shares with fellow goodbeasts. We all wish the two of you safety on your journeys so that's why I'm giving you these." He gave a motion with his right paw, signalling a hare forward, who carried with him two short swords.

"These," Lord Rathor said as he took them from the hare, "are swords made by me just last night. I apologize for the simple designs on the hilt and scabbard. Had I known you were leaving sooner, I would have put a bit more time and work on these." Ignoring the fact that he was recieving a high honor, Brink enthusiastically grabbed the sword right out of Rathor's paws. Nobeast could overlook his gleeful face as he unseathed the weapon and looked it over.
It was indeed a well-made weapon. Although simple, it was sharp, beautiful, and the sheen told of the excellent quality and care put into it.

"Thank you so much, sir!" Brink exclaimed, not bothering to hide his grin, keep the excitement from his voice, or even keep any form of composure at all. Most of the hares cheered, grinned, or chuckled at the sight of the spirited young otter. His displays of excitement only reminded them of themselves when they were younger. Keetch, however, kept some reserve as he accepted the thoughtful gift with a quiet "thank you".

"Now I want the both of you to take care out there," Lord Rathor said, "And it was a pleasure having met you."

"Thank you," Brink and Keetch replied in unison.

-

Lord Rathor? He too was an interesting beast, and kind to them too. Keetch always heard that all Badgerlords were seers, so that they would appear in the Otherworld, and not beyond Hellgates, once their time here was over. Now Keetch was there too, and so far Lord Rathor was not. He was still alive.

This time, he would see someone who has passed.

This time, he would see Brink.

-

"Keetch! Keetch, wake up!"

"Wha-?"

"Shush!" Ma Krammel interrupted, "Listen to me, Keetch. Don't tell Brink this. I'm worried for him." She was another memory from the past,

"What are you talking about?" Keetch asked as he rubbed his eyes.

"Listen to me, today while I was picking berries, I noticed two sets of footprints by the riverbank. They were probably the same ones you saw a few days ago- fresh ones, and they must be somewhere near here. Don't tell Brink... I'm- I'm worried... I'm worried about how he'd react this time. You two almost got killed the last time. They probably found the body of that ferret and came up this way... They'll come here today, I know it. I-" she turned as Brink rolled in his sleep. Once she was sure he was still asleep, she continued.

"I'm going to pack provisions for both of you before you leave. I'll tell Brink it's a foraging trip. Take him far away and stall him for as long as possible. I don't want him to get into another fight." Keetch was silent at first, taking all the information in.

"All right. We need provisions for me, Brink, you-"

"Not me-"

"What?!" he barely kept his voice down.

"Shhhhhh!" the elderly vole shushed, keeping an eye on the otter, "I can't go. I'm far too old and you'll never travel far with me around... besides, this is where my heart is, this is where I grew up. This is where my family lived and I want to die here, where all my precious memories are."

"No. You can't stay here. It's suicide!"

"Keetch," she clapped a paw on his shoulder comfortingly, "This is my decision and I think I'm ready. Please do what I ask of you. Please?"

"... Yes ma'am..." Keetch answered hesitantly.

"Thank you Keetch. Now listen, once this is all over, head southeast. There, you'll see a giant mountain called Salamandastron. I want the two of you to go there. You'll be safe there... You know Keetch, you're a goodbeast and I see a lot of good in you. It's because of you, that I can believe that there can be good found in everybeast."

"That's not true," Keetch swallowed, "I've killed a lot of innocent beasts in the past and-"

"But you have a chance to change," she smiled reassuringly, "and I want you to promise me that you and Brink would look after each other. We were like a family, the three of us. Even if it just came down to two, it should still remain a family. Promise?"

"... Promise."

-

"Ma Krammel! Ma Krammel!"

Keetch woke up screaming for the second time. The kindly vole was the first to take care of the pair while they were still chained. She fed them and sheltered them, and died for them in the end. After all those seasons, Keetch could still feel twinge after twinge of guilt.

This time it will be Brink. The otter that walked with him until his dying day.

He will make sure of it. He did not have much power left to delve into their past, having been led astray four times by other beasts he remembered. He only had one shot, so he had to aim his mind carefully.

He focused on their journey together - when they were left to fend for themselves after the Hellcat was killed, when he swore to the otter to protect his family if he doesn't return, when they escaped the grasp of those toads (with a little help from the Lord of Hellgates), when he reunited with him in the Redwall infirmary...

-

"Listen fox! If you even breathe a word about this to anyone, I'll be sure to finish you off. You hear me?!" Brink whispered menacingly. He must have expected some sort of screaming or begging as a response, but to his surprise, Keetch answered in a reasonable manner.

"Why would I do that?" he gulped. "I'm in the same position as you are. If you're escaping, you're gonna have to take me along as well, and believe me, there is nothing I want more than to get out of this miserable ship. You're probably thinking that I'd tell the crew, just so I can get my position back, right? Well, you're wrong because as I said before, I want out of this ship. I wouldn't even stay on this ship if I were made captain. This is the best chance I've got to freedom and I'm not going to blow it by alerting the crew or something stupid like that."

This response only proved to frustrate Brink further, for he was unable to find any evidence against the fox. "Fine then! What are you saying? That you and I work as a team to get out of this mess? I'm supposed to drag you along with me when I escape? You'll only slow me down, fox!" the otter replied scornfully.

The vermin swallowed nervously as he responded, barely a whisper. "But I... don't think you have a choice. We're bound together and there is no way that you can get off this bench unless I do as well. No way."

"Then I'll have to kill you," Brink growled threateningly as he strengthened his grasp on the fox's collar.

"There is no way you can kill me quickly. Not without a weapon. It'll have to be a slow enough process that I can yell and scream. That would alert the crew and...," the fox added slowly and carefully with his eyes lowered. Then he raised his eyes indignantly in assertion, "... and I'll tell them about your escape plan before I die. So it's an all or nothing deal. You have no choice but to take me along."

"You are in no position to be ordering me around, fox!" Brink's voice rose louder and louder. "You have no right to freedom! Not after all you've done to us slaves! A slavedriver deserves nothing less than to be a slave for the rest of his life and I'm not going to allow you to escape justice! I'm not-"

"Sh!" Keetch clapped a paw over Brink's mouth before he could get any louder.

"Don't forget that we're not the only ones in this place," he reminded him. After checking to see if they had been overheard, he added intently, "Do the others know? They can't know, they can't be trusted!"

"Of course I didn't! I'm not stupid, so shut up!" Brink replied, furious at himself for being careless enough to raise his voice and let the fox save them both.

Keetch gave a relieved sigh. "So what are your plans for after your escape?" he inquired.

"That's none of your business," Brink snapped as he released his grip.

"You should tell me, just in case you do something stupid and ruin the chance for the both of us. I'm on your side and there's clearly no reason for me to blow my own freedom, so tell me your plans!" Keetch said exasperatingly.

"You're getting out of line, fox!" Brink growled dangerously. "And since it was me who has been working on this grand escape this entire time, nobody but me has the right to my plans. I've done all the work while you get a free ride out of here!"

"But, what if anything goes astray? What if there's a hole in your plan? I've been a part of the crew once, so I know things you don't. We've only got one shot at this. You've got to tell me so the plan can work successfully," Keetch replied, reverting back to his fearful tone.

Brink thought for a moment, contemplating his response. "I plan to... capture the vermin and make them the slaves while the other slaves and I captain this ship and wreak havoc over the other slave ships,"

"Well I figured as much, but that's it?"

"Of course that's not it!" Brink snarled. "I would have to get the keys from the captain's cabin, free the slaves, and then we'll take the ship by storm."

Keetch wouldn't really consider vengeance to be part of his agenda if he were in charge. It would be too risky and all that mattered would be to get away and remain free for the rest of his days. But then again, Brink was in charge and he has no choice but to go with him wherever he goes. Besides, he wouldn't even consider going against him. Armed or not, the otter was a beast not to be messed with.
"That's not as easy as it sounds. This is where I'm useful; we have to be careful about avoiding some of the guards. It depends on who's above deck while we're escaping. If we're lucky, we get the lazy lowlifes who are always asleep when the captain is not around. On the other hand, we could get Flayhide..." the fox shuddered at the thought before continuing.

"And even if we make it all the way to the other end of the ship, we still have to not wake Captain Skeel. I'm not sure if he wakes easily or not, though...," he gave an uncertain frown at that realization. "And then we have to move any weapons we can find so that when all the slaves attack, the crew will be defenseless. But even if we do succeed, what's going to happen to me?"

"You play your part, and I'll make sure that you get off this ship all in one piece," Brink promised.

"You swear?" the fox questioned.

"I don't have to swear to you! What do you know about honor? I'm at least an honest beast, and I stay true to my word!" Brink replied coldly.

"Fine, I'll take your word for it," Keetch replied with an exasperated tone. "But how long until you think the plan can be put to action?"

"Two days."

-

"Your journey did take more than two days, fox."

"What?" Keetch sprung up, clearly not expecting another voice. If that voice belonged to any other, Keetch would probably summon another bolt of lightning to smite him out of the Void. A pity that figure was the fox that gave him the means to do so.

"Lord Vulpuz." Keetch bowed again to the older fox. "I suppose my soul would be yours."

"Nope." He turned around, face now facing away from Keetch has he strolled around. "You remember making an oath to Brink, don't you? Something along the lines of 'I swear that I will watch over your family if you fail to return home'." Seeing the white fox nodding, he continued. "Yeah, your soul belongs to him now. Congratulations!"

Keetch was clearly taken aback. "What? My soul is now Brink's? This is-"

"A surprise to be welcome, sure, yet a welcome one. It isn't really that good of a bargain for me, but seeing that you have done a great service for me as well as for Brink, I'll let this slide."

"But... but what will happen to me now? Hellgates won't open for me, and I'm clearly not alive. What will happen to Brink, for that matter?"

"Don't know, don't care." the crimson fox answered carefreely. "He's alive, as our deal stipulated, and you need to stay with his family until he absolves you from your oath. You actually have more than one shot now, so as to speak."

"But-" Keetch tried to argue.

"Goodbye!"

A wave of light flashed through, then he was gone.

-

Keetch woke up once more - this time in the world of the living.

Instead of a ruinous castle, he was in a town. Not a bustling town by any means, but a town nonetheless. Wooden cottages lay on both sides of a narrow streets, and woodlander and wolf walked paw in paw.

"Hello!" Keetch shouted as he waved at a squirrelmaid. "Where is this place?"

No answer. The squirrelmaid just went on her business, strolling along the alleyways.

Keetch decided to chase after her. Everything was so slow here, so he might still catch her despite his recent injury. He ran across the corner and collided into a wolf.

'Collided' would not be the best word here, as the wolf just simply walked into him, and walked outside him in the exact same manner without batting an eye.

Still standing in shock, Keetch almost didn't spot the mole standing before him, looking with eyes dead set on him, a leering grin etched on his muzzle.

The end of your tale
Is but the beginning of another.

It is etched.

[close]

[Captain Tammo]

Congrats on winning the contest MathLuk (and Jade TeaLeaf, wherever you are)! Here's what I thought of your story:

Right off the bat, the story is set up in such a way that the reader is asking questions, and over a very short story you answer those questions just as quickly as new ones come up. This is one of the founding principles that makes a story captivating and thrilling! What is Keetch doing talking with Vulpez? What does he mean this has happened before? Who's the friend he needs to save? What's the context of all of this?

Then you step through the story and answer all of these questions through a series of flashbacks. But you do it backwards! I though this was absolutely awesome. By going backwards, I knew that if I stepped away from the story, I'd remain confused by how we got to the end. I had to keep asking questions with each flashback, "Oooh, okay so that's how we got to the later event in the other flashback. But how did we get here? And who is this new character?" Really solid job here!

Also, you and Jade get top marks for the character of Vulpez. I found them really charming with how they really exuded this sarcastic / annoyed attitude. Just an immortal being looking for a bit of amusement through somebeast else's struggle before moving on to something else. His dialogue is great, too.

However, there was still one thing I didn't quite figure out - and that was the identity of the mole at the end. I'm looking through my story notes and I don't think I saw them anywhere else in the story. Care to shed some light on this?

[MathLuk]

The mole is a fabrication of mine. It is used for foreshadowing purposes. As I am writing a continuation (of sorts) to TCTBU, he will have an impact on my later plot.

[PaulTheMarlfox]

Well done!