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A very short story

Started by Selmont Sharpig, July 26, 2019, 01:46:37 AM

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Selmont Sharpig

Breathe.
No. Its too difficult.
Fine then, open your eyes.
Its bright.
That's the sky. 
I knew that.
Now breathe.
It hurts.
I know. Do it again.
Why am I here?
You tell me.
It's... It's fuzzy.
Breathe.
It was a bunny.
Not a bunny, a hare.
I know. He told me.
You smashed his skull in.
Aye, but somehow he didn't get the message. Put his dirk in my belly.
Breathe.
Where did that stupid beast get to?
Look.
My head feels heavy.
That's your helmet.
I cant see anything.
Take it off then.
I cant feel my arms. 
Do it.
I said I bloody well cant!
Breathe.
Will you quit chattering!
Get up.
I tried.
Try again.
I cant.
You must.
I'll turn my head. Is that enough?
Its a start. Now breathe.
What am I looking at?
Those are the abbey dwellers.
What are they doing?
They are gathering their dead to be buried.
Will they come get me?
You know they wont.
What about the others? The crew?
They abandoned you the moment you fell.
Yellow bellied vermin. They'll regret it.
You know you wont get the chance for that. Breathe.
You don't know that.
Listen.
That's just one of those damnable mice.
Listen.
Mice don't sound like that.
No they don't.

Har! Look mate, itsa captain. He dont look so bleedin tough wiv is guts out does e.

Take his elmet. He dont need it no more. Must be nice, the way e's always goin on about the bloody thing.

No!
They're not listening. Breathe.
That's mine you scurvy whelps!
Give up.
No.
They're already gone.
Why?
Why are they gone, or why are you here?
You already know.
Because you overreached. Because you underestimated them. Because you underestimated the hare.
Was I doomed to fail?
Perhaps.
Will I be remembered?
Perhaps. Breathe.
So that's it. No one will remember me. I'll just be another fool who failed.

No one to leave behind. No one to think of me fondly on warm summer days.

So its just the blackness forever for me then.

What do you have to say about that?
Breathe.
There's something on my chest.
No there isn't.
Its heavy.
That's you.
So it's time.
Look.
At what?
Everything.


Now that you mention it, the sky is wonderfully blue today.
Isn't it just?
The grass is soft too.
Don't forget the breeze.
Aye. There are worse days to die.

Tungro

#1
Quite interesting. I especially like how you used the colors (Welcome btw!)

Jack the Quick

Welcome to the forum, Selmont! I liked this a lot, the writing style was very interesting! I hope to see more of your work, I loved reading this!
'I ate the sharpest tool in the shed'

"Inconceivable!" ~Vizzini, The Princess Bride

"Art is never complete, only abandoned," ~Leonardo da Vinci

Long live the RRR!!

Captain Tammo

I like how the dying beast's text is in white. Kind of symbolic don't you think?
"Cowards die a thousand times, a warrior only dies once. The spirits of all you have slain are watching you, Vilu Daskar, and they will rest in peace now that your time has come. You must die as you have lived, a coward to the last!" -Luke the warrior

Ebantu the Kararehe

Beautiful and really sad. Well done!
Infant Ebby is a smol, out-of-control firebending terror. It's a good thing she's also quite cute.

May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
And rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of His hand.


shisteer of nothing much

Interesting...
I like how we can guess the basics of what's going on, but don't know any of the details. It's thought provoking and I appreciate that. It also makes you wonder who, or what, the Black Writer is. It doesn't seem like a beast of any sought but it doesn't seem to be the White Writer's thoughts or another voice in his own head, though nobeast in the background seems able to hear it. I'm wondering if it's something from Dark Forest, or maybe even Fate herself. Very intriguing...
Thanks for sharing and God bless!
    I have a shiny thing! See?



And another shiny thing:



And also some random, unnecessary coding.[/li][/list]

Long live the RRR!