The Blade of Noonvale. A tale from Redwall

[AbbotAlf0805]

Ch. One.

          "I now pronounce you husband and wife," said Abbot Mordaflus as he closed his bible. Then a cheer went up throughout Redwall Abbey as Mattimeo son of Matthias the Warrior was married to Tess Churchmouse. It is the summer of Warrior's Love. The other day Orlando the Axe proposed to Constance Badger.
         
            There was a wonderful wedding feast with all sorts of food, Candied Chesnuts, Sweet Nutmeg, and even a great fish caught by Matthias and Abbot Alf. There was last autumn's October Ale and Strawberry Cordial that was enjoyed by all. Matthias nudged Mattimeo as he finished off some ale, "comon Matty give them a speech. I said a speech at my wedding." "oh alright father,' said Mattimeo clearing his throat, "excuse me everybody I don't want to inerupt anyone but I would like to tell you all my plan for the future. I plan on moving to St. Ninians with my wife and the Churchmouse family. When I get there would like to live in peace there and be a guard for Redwall at the newly built St. Ninians Outpost the tower that is a forward protection station for Redwall." An applause went up throughout Cavern Hole as the celebration died down.

       As Mattimeo got into a wagon that Orlando was to bring to St. Ninians he heard someone yelling. He turned around and saw his beautiful mother Cornflower. "Love you Matty, while you guard Redwall and your family and Redwall you will need a sword," said Cornflower as she handed him a sword. Joy leaped up in Mattimeo's heart as he thought, "have they given me the sword of Martin the Warrior!?" But he was disappointed and at the same time puzzled as he pulled out a different sword. It had a bronze hilt with a ruby in the shape of a rose and on the blade were the words, "Laterose of Noonvale" He did not know what, "Laterose of Noonvale" mean but thanked his mother and they were off.  

[MatthiasMan]

Cool. Just a small tip, when you write story's you have to add a lot of detail. 

[AbbotAlf0805]

Dude I did in all Redwall books the first chapter is the shortest and so is the second so I'm keeping tradition.

[MatthiasMan]

I'm just saying, you can never have to much detail.

[Redwaller]

It's great!!! 

Tip: not to be rude, but you could use the spellcheck and make the chapters a little longer. 

[rakkety tam]

it was good but needs tweaking with spelling and stuff it bothered me a little when u spelled guard wrong andin my opinion at first it should have been like it was a warm summer day and all that kind of stuff  and then u make a paragraph of all of that and like mathiasman said more detail and i hope u know all of this is to make u a better wrighter and also no ones story is perfect not even  brian jauches books but its pretty good so far

[AbbotAlf0805]

Ch. Two.

          In the Great Mossflower Bazaar there were all kinds of creatures, mice of all kinds, moles, shrews, some badgers, squirrels, and even hares of the Long Patrol policing it all. There was though a part of the Bazaar called the Slum Market. It was a crime infested area filled with vermin and filth. They were mostly thieves, smugglers, and mercenaries with an assassin here and there. But that day a figure was in the Slum Market that really stood out it was Ragals, Ragals the Assassin.
     
       Nobody knows where he came from some say he was from the northern seas as a pirate but the most likely answer is that he showed up in Mosflower one day from the south with nothing but the cloak on his back. His strange cloak covered all his face except for his nose.
       
        As he walked through Slum Market he stormed into a tent that had a sign that said, "Mercenaries wanted" He walked in and saw a huge rat but young looking, about twenty seasons old, at the end of a table with a map of Mossflower on it on it discussing things with other vermin. He looked up at the fox and said, "Ahh Ragals Ive been waiting for you." "Shut up Devilrat you are to young address me like that but enough of this you said you had work for me?" snapped Ragals slamming a fist on the table. "Yes I do Ragals... Yes I do..."    

[Redwaller]

Is chapter three almost finished?

Or do you need help?

[MatthiasMan]

I would absolutely LOVE to help write a story too. I like it.

[AbbotAlf0805]

Want me to post ch. Three tomorrow?

[Redwaller]

yep.

[MatthiasMan]

Yes! I would love to read more of it.

[AbbotAlf0805]

Ch. Three

        At Redwall it was a beautiful day, Abbot Alf was fishing, Matthias was sparring with Orlando the Axe, Sister May was telling the little children a story, and Constance was teaching the novices the ways of the abbey. Then BANG! BANG! BANG! At the abbey doors, "who goes there!?" said Brother Rufus at the travelers. "We are humble nomads from the south here to talk of trade with the abbot!" said the traveler leader. "Fine you may come in but drop you weapons." said Brother Rufus making sure the dropped all weapons.

       Then the abbey doors opened up and a fox and a stoat came in with grim looks on their faces. Matthias went up to the fox and said, "come with me fox and I will take you to the abbot." "Thank you mouse..." said the fox getting a growl from Orlando. While Matthias was bringing him to the abbot the stoat was scared to death and the fox didn't say a word. When they got to there the abbot said, "how can I help you fox?" "Listen to this is how abbot, In the name of Devilrat the Terrible, Lord of Vermin, future Emperor of Mossflower, Nephew of Cluny the Sour-" THWAK!! Cornflower was listening the whole time and hit the fox on the stomach with a staff. Then Matthias swung his sword at the fox and missed. As he hit and killed the stoat the fox bolted for the door. Then he made it to the courtyard then barely made it out the gate.

            Sam Squirrel was on the ramparts and saw the fox. Orlando yelled, "stop the fox!" as soon as Sam heard this he shot and arrow at the fox then ripped the cloak off the fox. When he saw his face he gasped, he was glad to be the only creature to see his face and he kept it to himself.....

[Redwaller]

Is it a demo? I mean are you going to change it, add details, make the chapters longer and all that?

[AbbotAlf0805]

Ya