Tis Death on the wind

[Dannflor]

here is a story that I am writing a short Prouloge I am working on chapter one here it is


                      Tis Death on the Wind


       



                                                                                    The Sequel to the Long Patrol
















           



                                                                                                 by Joseph Hickman

                           From the books of Redwall by Brian Jacques






                               Prologue

    Here I am sitting here at Salamandastron thinking of the past when I was younger and braver when I was taught by the Squirrel Russa Nodrey who died to save our Badger Lord Russano.
   But that was another tale now I am going to write about when the badger sent us (Myself my wife Pasque and Colonel Rubadub) on a dangerous mission.
   I can hear the waves crashing on our shore and young leverets trying to be Otters wait and some of the babes are throwing bark into the water and trying to sink them.
   It is a beautiful morning the gulls screaming on the shores.
   Now back to point Now here starts My tale''.





                                                                              Captain Tammo de Formello Tussock

























       


             
                               The Wearet Raniz and the villainous  crew             

   




                           

[Ungatt Trunn]

Were's the chapter?

[Skipper]

The prolouge is good but why the big gap?

[Dannflor]

Sorry for the big gap but I made it on the computer not this website I am going to make chapter one Tonight

[Dannflor]

Here is chapter one enjoy



       

                                                     Chapter One

   Tammo de Formello Tussock bounded up the stairs fast enough for his foot paw that was wounded in a war toward the Infirmary. He leapt the last two steps crashed into Major Perigord who slowed him down and said in a strong deep voice ''Slow down captain sah you will kill your paw if you don't mark my words ye will wot''.
   Tammo kept on running as he shouted back ''Sorry Maj I can't stop the Badger Lord wants a word with me and Pasque now in his personal chamber something bally flippin important wot wot''.
   He burst through the door and started to walk around it appeared that Pasque wasn't there when he was about to walk out the door and check when he heard giggling  behind a night stand.
   He went to it and looked behind it and in a few moments two leveret's popped out and started to run shouting as they went ''OH NO it's Tammo run he will bring us to the torturer wot''        Run the tortureth will thlay uth all'' You go right I go left'' ''Run here thhe cometh'' ''Tammo sighed The worst hares on the mountain were Drefton the dreaded Dright and his twin sister who had a lisp Frimeo the lisping sting.
   Pasque came in with the two twins by there ears as they wailed pitiously ''WAH spare us marm no drated old physic wot wot'' ''thave uth captain Tammo we will be the betht hareth at Salamandathtron'' ''She mean's Salamandastron MERCY HELP''.
   A young female hare came into the room Periwinkle was Pasque's chosen apprentice she was smart and quick and was a good at healing . Pasque sighed with relief as she explained to Periwinkle ''Right these two have to have a tetanus shot so you know what to do right''?
   Periwinkle smiled as she grinned at the two twins ''Yes marm I stick the needle in there arm wot''. Pasque nodded and said I will be right back I need my lunch break ye know wot wot ''.
   As the walked out the door A female hare came into view as she walked a leveret by the ear she walked up to Pasque and said ''Good afternoon Pasque Troublaf tell miss Pasque what happened wot''.
   The young one took a burnt paw out of her mouth as she squealed '' Drefton and Frimeo was running through the kitchen when I told them I was going to tell Major that they were running through the kitchen's they told me that in the oven there was a surprise cake and when I opened it my paw got burnt''.
   Pasque yelled in and yelled in the ruckus in the Infirmary ''don't spare the whip and after give troublaf some medicine to stop the pain wot wot''.
   As they walked Tammo said to Pasque ''the Badger Lord wants to see us and Colonel Eybright too as they walked Major Perigord was walking around muttering something about ear chopping and tail scalloping.
   They found Colonel Eyebright in the mess hall wolfing down an apple pie with Raspberry Cordial next to his plate and five different salads next to hime with a pan full of Rhubarb crumble licked clean The Mess Hall was abandoned except for Colonel Eyebright . He looked up as they entered He wiped his lip's with a napkin and said in a jolly voice ''Tammo what a Surprise come in and share the scoff you to Pasque this Raspberry cream tart is extremely Delicious and try some of this Rosehip wine it is Scrumptious''.
   Tammo  stood straight as he said ''The Badger Lord would like to see you sah quick like to wot we already are flipping well late''. The Colonel belched and said smoothly ''scuse me he does what bally trouble have you two been into I see your real self now Tammo the kitchen wrecker and Pasque the Parchment plunderer now then me fine buckoes step to it now wot wot''.
   When the walked into the chamber Russano was reading an old script his wooden stick was lying next to him. Memory's floaded into Tammo as he recalled the Squirrel Russa Nodrey even her song was coming back.
         
                                      My little stick o wood
                                      My little stick o wood
                                      Whacks here and there and everywhere
                                       No weapon's half so good.........................
   Russano stood he was a giant but one of the wisest Badgers in the corse of History. He went to Colonel Eyebright who saluted and said ''Sah wanted to see me Lord about these cumugins who are probably in trouble sirah''? Russano shook his head and said in a deep voice ''I have a letter to send to my friend that was like a mother to me Cregga Rose Eyes give her this'' he handed Colonel a parcel.
   Tammo said ''What do you want us for beg pardon for asking sire''? Russano looked at him and said ''You will acompany him on the journey Tammo and Pasque here''. he tossed Tammo his dirk ''You will start at dawn and good luck all three''.



                               +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
   It was quite peaceful in the Dormitory that night except the scratching of pen on parchment it was Tammo . Everyone was awake for Tammo promised them he would sing the song he was going to put before he wrote the book of when he was younger.
   
   He lifted the parchment and nodded ''Done'' he said everyone shot up from there beds and said ''come on Tammo sing'' ''good form sah on with it wot''
   He started to sing a song that was perfectly fit for the story

                         ''Sometimes I sit here through the night''
                          Dreaming of those far flung day's
                           I'll gaze into the fires warm light
                          As if into some sunlit haze
                          And here they come those comrades mine
                          Laughing Happy brave to see
                          Untarnished by the dust of time
                          Forever fresh in memory
                          The way we marched the feast so grand
                           I'll tell you of them all
                           From Salamandastron's west strand
                           And North up to Redwall
                           Of high Adventures each new dawn
                           As side by side we stood in war
   Mid the cheers and general laughter Tammo flung himself on his bed as he said to a hare that had a bed next to his ''K Nutter your turn''. soon everyone was snoring to a Salamandastron lullaby     

                           O the sun sinks o so slowly
                           The Mountain hares lay down to rest
                            The Lovely Moon comes in glory
                                       Of the stars
   
                             Hush now little one
                             Am I ever near
                             When the long night is done
                              And the warm sun hath come
                              I'll wake you without a tear   

                                                                                      -- Joseph Albert Tarcisius Hickman

[Myrkin]

This chapter is very chaotic. There are some signs that there is a storyline in it, but it's very difficult to understand what that plot is. Many sentences in this chapter could use commas and other punctuation marks, or you could even divide them into shorter sentences. It's impossible to judge story positively, when understanding what's happening in it is a great challenge.

[Captain Tammo]

I think it's pretty good. I'd like to hear the rest of it! Tammo's a favorite of mine

[Ungatt Trunn]

This chapter is very chaotic. There are some signs that there is a storyline in it, but it's very difficult to understand what that plot is. Many sentences in this chapter could use commas and other punctuation marks, or you could even divide them into shorter sentences. It's impossible to judge story positively, when understanding what's happening in it is a great challenge.

I'll have to agree with Myrkin, though its not bad.

[Redwaller]

If everybody agrees, I could edit it all and repost it. Wadya think?

[KitrallStreamrippler]

I think it's a good idea, as long as you leave everything intact (it is really good), but that desicion should really be up to Dannflor.

[Redwaller]

Since he's back, it shouldn't be a problem.