Cluny the Scourge's sister-A tale of friendship

[Nightfire]

Prologue
     The Mossflower woods were dark. Very dark. Alenra was grateful for her black fur, which hid her from any robbers. She sighed delicately, reaching down into her haversack and pulling out a glowing green object. The Lantern of the Ancients. It was said to have been created by squirrels long ago, and within it glowed a mysterious green flame that never went out. Alenra allowed it to glow a bit, lighting up the path before her. She kicked the ground in anger. Why did those Redwallers kick her out? She may have been a rat, but she was good and kind, and she had clearly displayed a white flag of truce before approaching. But they drove her away with sling and stone, and she wisely withdrew back into the woods. Suddenly a dark shape swung out of the trees in front of her! Alenra gasped, jerking back suddenly and pointing her sword at the creature. "Who are you?" she demanded, her ordinarily gentle voice turning harsh with anger. Her extraordinarily long tail lashed with anger.
"Please don't attack! I come peacefully!" The beast said fearfully, raising it's paws. "My name is Araiah. I'm a Redwaller."
Alenra lifted up her lamp to see the other's face, revealing a frightened squirrel with honey-coloured fur. She had a longbow and arrows the size of spears slung across her back, and she wore a dark travelling cloak. "Why should I trust a Redwaller?" she snarled. "I came to your precious abbey seeking refuge, and I was attacked!"
"I apologise for everyone's behavior. Not five seasons ago, our abbey was viciously assaulted by an evil black rat with a very long tail called Cluny the Scourge. We were almost killed by him, but luckily Matthias came along with the Sword of Martin. He dropped the Joseph bell right on top of Cluny, killing him instantly!
"So that's how he died." Alenra murmured. "I always wondered."
"You aren't angry at us for killing one of your kind?" The squirrel asked fearfully."
"No. Cluny was evil. He needed to be stopped." she sheathed her sword. "I was his sister. I supposed that's why your abbey thought it was Cluny back from the dead."
"His sister!" Araiah gasped.
"Don't worry, I'm not evil like him," she reassured. "Why were you following me?
"I wondered who you were. Abbot Mordalfus didn't exactly give you a chance to explain yourself. I wanted to apologise for them."
"Well, at least you're honest," she muttered. "now go away."
"Umm, I also wanted to warn you. There's a snake that lives further up the path. He kill anything that happens his way. My own father was nearly eaten by him last Spring!"
"I can handle adders easily," she said, tapping the hilt of her sword lightly with one paw.
"It's not an adder. It's a coral snake."
"Well, that changes things around a bit. How far up the path?"
"One mile. I could come with you to show where he is."
"Lead on, my friend," she said, allowing the green lamp to burn a little brighter.
"What is that thing?" Araiah asked, pointing to the lantern.
"The Lantern of the Ancients. Let's go." The two newfound friends went up the path, heading North all the way.

Chapter 1

     Three seasons later, Alenra was creeping across a narrow, wooden bridge that crossed an unfathomably deep gorge. She could see a pool of water along with shade at the other side. Araiah was already standing at the pool's edge, refilling their canteens. The had been travelling for quite some time, and Alenra was grateful for the squirrelmaid's company. "I hope we get there soon," she grumbled. "I'm getting sick of this heat." Two days ago, they had been attacked by a bunch of little tree rats in the pine grove. Araiah had given vent to a fearsome screech, mimicking the war cry of the badger lords. The little beasts had been so startled, that they halted for a few moments, giving the pair the time needed to escape.

[Nightfire]

Sorry I stopped suddenly last night, guy! I feel guilty, but it was bedtime and I was...so...tired *yawn*

[Nightfire]

Hey, guys! Give me your opinions on this, okay? I want to know what you think. I always liked the original Rewall book a lot. It was the first book in the series that I read. I was always fascinated by Cluny the Scourge, and because rats usually have litters of at least five siblings, I always assumed that he had brothers and sisters with untold stories wandering around the land. And the squirrel, Araiah (pronounced are-aye-uh), is the great-great-great-great-great-great granddaughter of Lady Amber the Squirrelqueen.

[Captain Tammo]

It looks good! When is the next chapter going to be released?

[Nightfire]

Soon. For some reason, though, when I type it on here then the type box goes all glitchy, to it's hard to watch what I'm writing until it's saved onto the page. I dunno...maybe I'm just a walking computer virus.  Anyway, I'll try to write the next chapter soon, but sometimes, unfortunately, I get writer's block for a day, so be patient with me. Hey, Tammo, what's your opinion on Ranguvar Foeseeker and Lady Amber?

[Captain Tammo]

Ok I had a huge response written, but I timed out and when I logged back in, my post wasn't there  so I'll summaries what I wrote.

Ranguvar Foeseeker, she held back the majority of the Gorleech's crew so Luke could crash the ship and kill Vilu Daskar. She was a major factor to the success of the Gorleech's slaves and without her, I doubt the plan would've worked. I think she was the only squirrel in the series to have the bloodwrath too.

Lady amber, I have to be honest, I haven't read Mossflower in a while, but I do remember her, her and her squirrels played a major role in the woodlanders' success. And without her leadership, I doubt the woodlanders would've come out on top.

[Nightfire]

Ranguvar wasn't the ONLY squirrel to get bloodwrath. Felldoh went into the bloodwrath when he was fighting Badrang. Of course, I guess he only did that once.

[Captain Tammo]

O yeah I remember!

[Nightfire]

Aargh! I have writer's block! Sorry, guys.

[Captain Tammo]

No worries! Works of art aren't created over night all the time.
Here's some ideas to help you out. You don't have to use them if you don't want:

-Make alenra a gray character like veil. Where it's her nature to be cruel and she's trying to overcome it and be good.
-Make a main villain. Like say an evil owl or a group of stealthy lizards.
-Maybe alenra and the squirrel run into a small band of weasels or something and they fight. Once the battles over, the squirrel wants to tie them up and leave them but alenra kills them or something
-Maybe alenra and the squirrel will walk around the woods and get lost in a pine forest?
-what's going on at the abbey while this is happening?
-is something happening very far away on an island or in a palace?

[Nightfire]

Hmm. First of all, I did kind have an idea for a main villian beastie, but I'm trying to figure out WHEN they meet 'im. Alenra's personality is kinda like Mariel's before she get's her memory back. In other words, Storm Gullwacker with a whip and sword. Heeheehee! She is kind of a gray character. Thanks for all the advice. I'll see if it'll help. Hopefully!
*lifts eyes to the heavens in prayer*

[Skalrag of Marshank]

This is great! In my mind, I have always been nursing this idea that Cluny had some family member that wasn't evil, although I was thinking more like a son or daughter, but maybe that's too close to The Outcast of Redwall...

[Nightfire]

There was actually already a fanfic flying around about Cluny having a son, and I didn't want to rip off anyone's ideas about Cluny having children.  So I chose a sister. I'm still trying to work out the crimps in my writing talent. I'm have severe writer's block about this. I'll try to get some more done, though. Thank for all the encouragement, guys!

[Skalrag of Marshank]

Oh, well. I love your story anyway!

[Dannflor]

It could have been published it was exactly like if Brian himself were writing