Discussion Topis For: Bryony And Bryant - A Tale From Redwall.

[Cornflower MM]

Say what ya think about my FanFic here!!!

[rachel25]

Sounds good, but this should be in the fanfiction section. And I like the sound of it, but I do think it needs some work, before you write it!!! 

[Cornflower MM]

Thanks! I'm still working on it in my mind. Any tips?

[rachel25]

Um, yes. When your characters are having a conversation, don't just write it as one long sentence. Oh, um, I'm trying to think how to explain it. I'll just give you an example.

"I really like this story, but it needs some tweaking."
"Oh, really, have any ideas?"
"Yes, just try writing conversations like this."
Don't know if that made any sense. I'm not an expert so I can't really help that much, but I'll try my best. 

[Cornflower MM]

[Thanks. I'll try to remember that.

[rachel25]

Ok, I just read the next chapter. And yes, I may sound a little mean, but I'm just trying to help.
It's way to short. It sounds like the start of a chapter. And you haven't done any proper description. I'm finding it hard to see the place, or the characters.
What did the cave look like?
What were Bryony, and Bryant feeling.
What could they hear?
What did the cave smell like?
At the moment, you just need to work on maybe, some longer chapters, and more description please.   If there's anything you'd like help with, I'll be happy to see what I can do.
I may be sounding a little harsh, but it's only because I want to help, this story can be so great! It just needs a little tweaking. 

[Cornflower MM]

Thanks! I apprecaite any and all help, no matter how harsh! In fact, don't sugar coat please!!

[rachel25]

I've just reread your chapters. There much better! But you need to read over them carefully before posting. Sometimes, you miss out words. But your getting much, much better!   

[Gnoflet]

Cool, but confusing. Their names are almost identical.

[rachel25]

Well it makes you read it carefully. 

[Cornflower MM]

Thanks...However, I have Writers' Block! IT'll be awhile. Sorry, guys!

[Gnoflet]

Whats a "Writers' Block"?

[Cornflower MM]

Lack of inspiration. Don't knw what to write, or how to fit it in. Writer's hate it, and it's similar to Artist's block. And Choreographer's block (Which exists. I would know).

[rachel25]

I hate writer's block. The way I got rid of it was Role Playing.

[Cornflower MM]

Ohhh......Well, I do plenty of that! In fact, I'm even starting another RP! You might say I'm loaded! Although I might have too many characters in my new one....