Fire Mountain: A Redwall version of Pompeii

[Skyblade]

Thank you for clicking on my thread! I decided that I want to write a fan fiction. Not only can I contribute to the forums in my own way, but I can also improve my writing! I like to write, you see.

To be honest, I am rather inexperienced, but I will do my best. As explicitly stated in the title, this story is an allusion to the tragedy of Pompeii. Some of the characters' names are actually derived from forum ships - don't mind that too much, I'm just not good at making names and such. I very much hope that you all will enjoy my story and get something meaningful out of it


Prologue: A Badger Lord's Secret

   Not that he hated or even disliked other beasts, but sometimes Delka Brushtail just wanted to be alone and think and think and think. Unfortunately, the hares seemed not to realize this. No matter how much assurance Delka gave them that he still held a caring hand on Salamandastron, he was still the target of suspicious and curious looks in the hallways. Things were quite bad if his own hares struggled to trust him anymore, but a part of him understood why.

   The insightful badger lord was sitting on the cliff overlooking the Western sea, his face as stolid as stone but his mind as fervent as a summer tempest. Autumn was approaching, as was the night, and the weather was comfortably cool with little breezes that ruffled Delka's fur so gently and nicely that he stopped mid-thought to enjoy the soothing feeling. The sun glowed red in the sky in front of him as it often did when it got ready to retreat for the day.

   Delka's inner storm suddenly died down from an interruption. The badger lord turned around at the sound of a distant call, his coal-black eyes narrowed. Three hares were marching over from Salmandastron, one large and two smaller. Delka stood up and ran to them, already drawing his giant sword in anticipation.

   "What's going on?" Delka asked quickly, coming to a sudden stop before the three beasts.

   "Calm down, sir," said the larger hare, "Nothing is wrong, save the behavior of these supposed-to-be conforming Long Patrol hares."

   "What did they do, General?" asked Delka, carefully putting the sword back in its sheath and eyeing the younger, discomfited hares.

   "It's not what they did, but what they didn't do. For days, days I tell you, maybe even a week or longer, the two of them have been slacking off. They're late to dawn roll calls. They start their required drills and leave them hanging unfinished, or don't do them at all. I catch them off task many more times than I should. I've been letting them go for a while, but we all have had enough here in the Long Patrol."

   Delka nodded, turning his gaze from the misbehaving hares. "Thank you kindly, General Willek. I'll take care of it from here."

   General Willek nodded stoically and walked away without giving the two young hares another glance.

   Following this was a heavy pause, which Delka broke by saying the hares' names.

   "Skarloe, Ambren."

   "Yes?" said Ambren in a shrunken voice.

   "Why?"

   Skarloe looked away, focusing his gaze on a random patch of grass nearby. "Oh, Delka, I know by now not to make excuses. I just wish you and others understood."

   "Understood what?"

   "It's hard to work and work and work all day when all you want to do is stop and rest," said Skarloe, "Okay, I admit it. Ambren and I have slacked off. We're lazy sometimes. I just wish we were better about this."

   "You two are young Long Patrol hares in your teenage seasons," murmured Delka, "Yes, I know. It's hard. But it's your duty which you must fulfill. As for resting, you have opportunities. Even Long Patrol hares need respites, trust me. We don't expect you to work during every breath of your life."

   There were two "okay"s in response, followed by a query from Ambren: "Will you punish us harshly? General Willek said we deserve it."

   "Not harshly, just smartly," replied Delka.

   "Will you hit us, or use any other form of physical punishment?" asked Skarloe.

   "Not this time."

   "Are you mad at us?" asked Ambren.

   "Not mad, Ambren. Just disappointed."

   And indeed Delka wasn't mad. His voice was as calm as the sea that lapped at the shore, but his disappointment was like the salt inside it. It stung.

   "Disappointed..." Skarloe murmured, "I wouldn't say just disappointed. Somehow, seeing you disappointed is worse than seeing you mad."

   "Delka, we're sorry," said Ambren with a nuance of penitence, "We will try to do better."

   "I know," said Delka softly. He was suddenly reminded of a thought he had been immersed in. He had been thinking of something before the hares had approached him – something that may have seemed unimportant in his busy life but still managed to surface in his pool of thoughts from time to time anyway.

   "Something wrong, Delka?" asked Skarloe, for the badger's stirring emotions had manifested on his face.

   Delka paused for a few brief moments, and then said, "Wait here." Still wondering why he was about to do this, he dashed off to Salamandastron, leaving the two hares exchanging a flummoxed glance.

   About 15 minutes later, the young ones saw Delka returning in the distance. They sat there and watched in suspense as he rejoined them, holding something in one hand.

   "What is that?" Skarloe asked immediately, pointing to the object.

   Delka sat down and placed it on his lap: it was simply a journal, archaic and tattered almost beyond belief.

   "Oh, what a relief," said Ambren. When Delka looked at her, she continued, "We thought you would bring something with which you could punish us."

   "Maybe that journal will punish us," Skarloe told her, "He might tell us a long and boring story. Or make us write things in it until our hands want to cut themselves off our arms and run away!"

   Delka chuckled softly. "I do want to tell you a long story, but I hope it won't be boring."

   "Really?" said Ambren, "But why tell us a story? Knowing you, I thought you would give us another lecture!"

   "I figure I don't want to chastise you again," replied Delka, trying not to show that he was a bit offended. "Besides, I honestly don't know if you two will listen. So, I'm going to show you young ones something that I never showed anybeast before. It's a secret that we must keep together, the three of us, in this mountain stronghold."

   "What?" the hares asked simultaneously, one voice low and the other high.

   "It's a tale from many, many, many seasons back. I cannot even emphasize how far back this was. You know elders often start their tales by saying 'A long time ago', but this truly is from a long time ago. Back when it happened, this fortress did not exist. This is a story about an unsung, unlikely hero."

   "Okay," said Skarloe, "That sounds somewhat interesting, but why tell us this story? In other words, what is the point, Delka?"

   Delka found himself pausing for a moment. Why was he telling these young hares this story? It was supposed to be his personal secret, something for him to know only himself. But he felt an urge, a calling he could even call it, to suddenly pass it on. And maybe...

   "It will help you mature," said Delka succinctly, "I believe both of you should hear this tale. Get comfortable, because this may take a while. We're going back now."

   "Back to where?" queried Ambren.

   "To a town that once existed where we sit at this very moment, right next to a neighboring landmark known as Fire Mountain."

   "Are you really going to take us there?" Ambren said.

   Delka blinked. "I'll do my best."

   Drawing in a few breaths, he opened the journal to a familiar page. The thing he had kept to himself, the story he had wanted to stay in no other places besides his own mind and the words of this journal, was about to be disclosed.

   "Why wait any longer?" said Skarloe, seeing Delka's hesitation.

   Delka Brushtail nodded and stared down at the first sentence. "Okay, then." He paused again. "Here we go."

[Gonff the Mousethief]

YES! You finally have some moe writing up! I absolutely loved it! Great detail and great plot! Really like the sort of image that the character keeps on talking about, but as we read, we slowly gain Intel. Write on Madam Blade, Write On! Can not WAIT to see more! Oh, and good use of the ship names 

[Wot, wot!]

This is amazing Skye!!!! I can't wait to read more  Congrats on your first fan fic too!

[Skyblade]

Aww! Thank you both very much It feels so great to get feedback!

Actually, this is technically my second fan fiction as I wrote one a long time ago but never finished. However, I wouldn't suggest reading that one, lol. My writing has improved significantly (in my opinion) since then.

[The Mask]

I like the names. I like the story MORE, but the names are great.

[Skyblade]

Okay, thank you Masky 2.0!

[Luftwaffles]

This is quite good, actually! I haven't read it in its entirety though, but I just wanted to say that before I continue.

[Skyblade]

Thank you, Sierra I try.

[Captain Tammo]

You've got me hooked!

Those two young bucks better learn their manners, especially when they're talking to a badger lord! I'm surprised Delka didn't give them a whack on the head to snap them into shape!

[Skyblade]

Yay! A comment from Captain Tammo himself!

Thank you and you have a point. Actually, I made them like that on purpose. There's reasons for their behavior.

[Hickory]

Skarloe. 
Wonder where you got that.

*cough* Cellars *cough*

[Lady Ashenwyte]

The only things I dislike are the ship names. They don't fit the Redwall setting. If you have trouble thinking of names, I suggest you use a name generator.

[Mhera]

^yep. Besides the names, though, it's quite good.

[James Gryphon]

Honestly, I think the names would fit fine if y'all weren't used to knowing them from elsewhere. It isn't like the names in the later books in the series were much better.

As far as the story, I enjoyed it and would like to see more.

[Skyblade]

Thank you all Truly I appreciate your compliments and constructive criticism. It takes a while to get new things posted, because of time and my own perfectionism. Hopefully the next chapter will be up soon.

I honestly thought the ship names were fine, but that's from my perspective. Thanks for the suggestion, Ash!