The Winding Touch of Time

[rachel25]

 Okay so this is just something I wrote a little while ago as an English exercise. It was written as descriptive but there's a little bit of narrative I guess. Anyway, just enjoy and tell me what you think if you want. 

                           The Winding Touch of Time

It reaches high into the sky above, much higher than any other tree in the forest. Some say it reaches so high that it touches the stars. The little leverets get very excited at this and some of the braver ones have even tried climbing the wooden giant, but to no avail. They are rabbits, not squirrels.
So the stars remain untouched and the great oak stands steadily in the middle of a small clearing, like a mighty king watching over his kingdom. The woodland creatures are his subjects and his royal court the other trees that stand close by.
A stream snakes its way through the wooded land, bringing life-giving water with everywhere it may go. Finally, it reaches the lake, where it may sleep surrounded by the noble, wooden guardians of the trees. During the Winter it freezes solid; it hibernates there until Spring when it is released from its icy cage and once again runs free. The stream runs by the mighty oak, through the clearing and off again. Its turquoise coils bend and slither where they please.
The oak and the stream are both familiar and yet strange to one another. Both have been there for centuries, both have watched the kingdom grow, each aiding the growth in their own little way. Yet the oak is just a once noble, now weary old king, while the stream remains like a dancing, fresh, and carefree girl that runs where she pleases, bringing joy and life with her wherever she goes. Some would think that the oak would despise and envy the youthful grace of the stream, but, no, they are old friends. They both have their duties and both remain loyal at their stations.
When the Autumn rolls by and the oak drops its crown of leaves and is left bare, the stream does not mock as if races by. It catches every gold, russet, and blood-red leaf, taking them with it, making itself a shimmering cloak of all the beautiful colours. And as the sun beams hit the stream, its cloak shines bright for the entire forest to see. The stream chatters and laughs as it rushes on its way, clothed in the finest of colours, royal colours. The oak watches and sighs peacefully, happy to have brought a little joy to its old friend once again.
The king bends under the weight of his many years and heavy branches. His bark is no longer smooth and elegant – now it is lined and roughly covered in moss and lichen, with the occasional mushroom sprouting towards his base. He grows weaker every day; he knows that soon his branches will begin to fall and that acorns will no longer swell and grow amongst his leafy crown in Spring. But he doesn't mind, for he is tired. He no longer possesses the youthful energy of his friend the stream. He will miss the stream most of all, with all of her elegance and grace. She has been a good friend, a true friend. His best friend. 

[The Skarzs]

This was a very charming little thing, Rachel, and it was nice to read. I could picture it in my head the whole time, this massive tree, all gnarled and tested by the ages, growing near a cheery brook that was always renewed. It was very heartening.

I did feel a bit distracted by how it was written in the present tense, though. (Of course, I don't really like reading stuff in present tense usually.) You covered quite a bit of time, so I'm not sure present tense would be the best choice for the larger part of the story, but near the end when it is pretty much from the tree's perspective, present tense fit alright.


Also, do you mind if I put this into a poem?

[rachel25]

Thanks for your comments. I just kinda wrote it at my sister's one morning and made it up as I went along so it's not great.  
Feel free.  

[Lady Ashenwyte]

Very charming. I think it would have worked a bit better in poem format, but this is quite good.

[rachel25]

Okay thanks. I'm no good at writing poems though. 

[Skyblade]

The title itself was already interesting

I like this. There were some parts that made me go, "Woah, that was good." Very touching and poetic description. Eloquent. This is a great base for, say, a more elaborate oneshot.

Well done. It must have taken quite some creativity and thought.

[Captain Tammo]

This story has a neat flow to it, sort of bittersweet at the end!

[rachel25]

The title itself was already interesting

I like this. There were some parts that made me go, "Woah, that was good." Very touching and poetic description. Eloquent. This is a great base for, say, a more elaborate oneshot.

Well done. It must have taken quite some creativity and thought.

Wow! Thank you so much that means a lot.

This story has a neat flow to it, sort of bittersweet at the end!

Thanks, that was what I was kind of going for.   

[Skyblade]

I'm glad. Do you enjoy writing? Plan to post anything else? (I would read it)

[rachel25]

Um....When it comes to writing I do enjoy it but I find writing fanfictions hard. I'm writing a RP with just Faiyloe which is kind of like a fanfiction but just with some help. On the whole I can't just sit down and write. I occasionally find the motivation but not often.