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the victim(book 1)

Started by Captain Rake Nightfur, June 21, 2012, 09:47:48 PM

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Captain Rake Nightfur

The Victim(Trust Me. it's not depressing)


I sit here all alone,
Thinking of days long gone by.
When I was young and strong,
With friend I knew and mates I trusted.
I walked that road, as one would see. So sit here little one, listen to my tale.
A tale of friendship, revenge and hate.
A tale of chums, a tale of foe.
A tale with vermin, as you will know.
Now watch as I grow old. But my memory is still unchanged
My story untold
So listen little one, listen closely
For memories I hold

                                               




                                             




                                      1

The wind howled eerily, across the eastern seas. As rain shattered relentlessly down, with the roaring waters. If you were to look closer you would see a small dot on the horizon. A young hare bobbed up and down in the roaring waves, clinging gamely onto a small boats broken hull. Trying desperately to keep his head above the salty waters. As cold liquid streamed down his face from the rains, he glimpsed a sight of land. With his last ounce of strength he swam tenaciously to the shore. As he pulled his tired body wearily onto the sands, he gazed onto the storming skies. His eyes glazed over as if in a death film, which proved to be incorrect as he gagged up sea water, seagulls proved to be the only witness to the victim of the seas. As the pitiful figure lay upon the verge of life and death, he moaned.
Where had this poor creature come from?
Had he come as a warning to all, or a savior?
                                                     *
Redwall abbey lay in a stormy spectacularness*. Inside the abbey building father abbot Aldwin sigh sadly as he look pityingly at the dibbuns who were wrestling playful about the floor,  upsetting coffee tables, benches and  stools in their wake.  He turn to a old mouse  named Alapai, his old friend "I do believe those dibbuns are getting awful noisy indoor..."the old mouse chuckled "well father, that's to be reasoned, after all, it is late spring and they have been stuck indoors for five days!"
The abbot sighed as a dibbun hit him in his leg well  rolling by "never-the-less, I do think we should do something about it, beca-"
"ouch!  Get off you little villain! youch!! Stop it!"
The abbot turn to see a young mouse being bitten by a babe name dobley.  Alapai covered his month with his habbit sleeve to hide a laugh,  as the young mouse danced about in pain-with the shrew-let clinging to his arm-abbot aldwin walked over and spoke  sternly to the babe, though he hide a smile "now dobley, how many times to I have to tell you about bitten beast?"
The shrew-let grumbled something under his breath and replied in dibbun speech "I'm h'orry farver..."
Aldwin raised a eyebrow "well, I should hope so! Next time I catch you at it I'll put you to bed with no dinner."
The poor dibbun nodded dolefully as the abbot stepped off back to the widow, chuckling as he spoke to Alapai "well, I'm glad that's over."
as the gate outside was knocked and a voice said "hello in there! anyone home?"







*is  that a word 'spectcularness'? o3o
Gave' em blood and vinegar chaps!And that's an order wot wot!

everybeast tells' "bréaga álainn." but they never help anybeast

WarriorOfMossflower

...I like it so far!

I do not believe spectacularness is a word. Sorry.
In process of rekindling my love for Redwall.

Captain Rake Nightfur

lol  ;D i thought so, and thank you!
Quote from: WarriorOfMossflower on June 21, 2012, 11:31:53 PM
...I like it so far!

I do not believe spectacularness is a word. Sorry.
Gave' em blood and vinegar chaps!And that's an order wot wot!

everybeast tells' "bréaga álainn." but they never help anybeast

WarriorOfMossflower

will you be writing more?
In process of rekindling my love for Redwall.

Captain Rake Nightfur

#4
yes! i plan on writing the next cap tomorrow, if i can get two more posts
Gave' em blood and vinegar chaps!And that's an order wot wot!

everybeast tells' "bréaga álainn." but they never help anybeast

WarriorOfMossflower

In process of rekindling my love for Redwall.

Captain Rake Nightfur

ugh..sorry warrior I'll try to post cap 2 tomorrow 'kay?
Gave' em blood and vinegar chaps!And that's an order wot wot!

everybeast tells' "bréaga álainn." but they never help anybeast

Captain Rake Nightfur

hey warrior, I'm taking a one week break from writing, I've been writing like mad(on other stuff and 'corin the black fox' and 'the victim') so yeah...that's it.
P.S. Cap 2 will be up in a week too  ;)
[/b]
Gave' em blood and vinegar chaps!And that's an order wot wot!

everybeast tells' "bréaga álainn." but they never help anybeast

Captain Rake Nightfur

i finally finish,sorry i was being lazy )
                                               2
The sun shone brightly down on the head of the hare, coughing and moaning he got up
The world was blurry to the strictin hare "wha...? Where am I...? He said dazedly, he had an accent, sweet and flowing like the breeze, yet strong  .
He rubbed at his eyes, then blinked and looked around "where's all the snow..?" he murmured "where is everyone for that matter." getting up
He looked around, not seeing anything but sand and sand dunes, then recollecting his thought, he gritted his teeth "dancenra you scam ...I'll pay you back for this." then looking farther around he found, to his dismay; nothing.
"well thou art in trouble danail..." he murmured walking up the dunes, as he walked he had a feeling he was being watched. a shadowy figure hoped from sand dune, to sand dune. The hare turned around watching "I know someone's there show yourself!" as he spoke a squirrel materializes from a dune. She was a slightly odd creature, with big hazel eyes and long lashes, slender and strong looking, and by the bow and arrows she pulled a long in her wake proved to be capable of defending herself. He nodded in a friendly manner to her
"hello." the young squirrel nodded back eyeing him wearily
"hey..." shafting she said "what's a hare doin' 'round these parts?"
The hare shrugged "don't know...I was washed up by the sea."
To the surprise of the hare the squirrel face lit up in a roughish grin "oh, then a reckon you'll be hungry." taking a  bag from her shoulder she opened it up to reveal scones and rough oat cakes, but best of all; water. The squirrel noting his attention to the water handed it to him, chucking as he gulped it down "names sarhon by the way, what's yours?"
The hare wiped his mouth "ahh, that's good, my name? it's danail lumière guerrier."
Gave' em blood and vinegar chaps!And that's an order wot wot!

everybeast tells' "bréaga álainn." but they never help anybeast

WarriorOfMossflower

In process of rekindling my love for Redwall.

Captain Rake Nightfur

thank you, ^^ cap 3 should be up in a week or two(i'm being lazy again XP )
Quote from: WarriorOfMossflower on August 12, 2012, 06:23:56 PM
Nice, keep it up.
Gave' em blood and vinegar chaps!And that's an order wot wot!

everybeast tells' "bréaga álainn." but they never help anybeast

Romsca

Are you still going to keep writing this?

Captain Rake Nightfur

Quote from: Romsca on February 16, 2013, 06:36:56 PM
Are you still going to keep writing this?

I plan to, but I've been very busy lately.
Gave' em blood and vinegar chaps!And that's an order wot wot!

everybeast tells' "bréaga álainn." but they never help anybeast

Captain Rake Nightfur

Okay, I know probably on one reads this, but I'm working on cap 3. ^^
Gave' em blood and vinegar chaps!And that's an order wot wot!

everybeast tells' "bréaga álainn." but they never help anybeast