Corrupt-a-Wish

[Mhera]

Eh. I typed it up... @James Granted! The apples suddenly sprout legs. They begin stumbling around on the counter until they fall off the edge, bruising and deforming their once perfect apple-shaped bodies. However, they struggle upright once again. You now have bruised, dirty, and animated apples tripping around your place of residence. Eventually one comes by your seat, but you're so freaked out you don't want to eat it anymore.

Granted! But I know nothing about Japan so you die on your plane ride back in July.

I wish I liked cheese.

[James Gryphon]

Granted; you love hard, sour, moldy milk, and can't get enough of it. Unfortunately, an obscure bacteria used in making it infiltrates your brain, driving you crazy. After a week of stumbling around outside, munching on grass, and screaming "I am a cow", you're run over by a dairy truck and die.

I wish that I could get decent sleep tonight.

[Mhera]

Granted! But during the deepest sleep of your life the long lost assassin cat comes back. If you were sleeping badly you may have heard the aged master's attempts at entering the house. However, your're so out of it you don't hear the enraged feline finally gain entrance through the air ducts, crawling through them and plotting his perfect murder. Unfortunately, the strain is too much for his heart and he dies in your air conditioning system. You wake up refreshed the next morning but never get the stench out of your house.

I wish my Spotify would stop playing Michael Buble

[James Gryphon]

Granted; now it plays only Justin Bieber.

I wish that I was the legal owner of the Pacific and Atlantic oceans, and that to use them people had to pay me tribute.

[Mhera]

Granted; now it plays only Justin Bieber.

That's twice today you've ended a wish with "you die."

Granted! You are now the mortal Poseidon, the King of the Oceans. Well, only two of them. All business moves to the Indian and Arctic oceans. You get no customers.

I wish penguins could fly.

[James Gryphon]

Granted. With this new advantage, penguins quickly begin to migrate across the world and become common nuisance animals, due to their lack of natural predators. Within five years, Canada is forced to pass a bill allowing people to shoot penguins on sight.

I wish that I could transform into a cat and back at will.

[Amarith Waterspring]

granted, but you start meowing in every sentance you say when you are not a cat.

I wish that i could turn on and of my 5 main sences at will so i couldn't smell something bad or feel a shot at the doctors office. 

[Hickory]

Granted. You usually forget to turn them back on, hence you can't taste good food, hear your alarm, etc.

I wish Overlord's orders XIII would start NOW.

[James Gryphon]

Granted. With only four players, there are three eliminations, then the game is over. The game lasts for three days, with a player losing each day. You're the first one out. I win again and everyone gets upset; they refuse to play in a round I make, and this destroys OO.

I wish that I had some pretzels.

[Skyblade]

Granted! A grand piano with a bag of pretzels inside it falls on top of you.

I wish I could stop time and start it at will.

[James Gryphon]

Granted, but you still age even when time is stopped. After doing this for several years, you have the physique of a late-forties woman, even though your birth date suggests you should be young.

I wish that I wasn't going to get tired from staying up this afternoon.

[Lady Ashenwyte]

Granted, now you are so hyper you become the Flash and cause a sonic boom. However, five seconds later, you are so exhausted you die.

I wish Mhera knew a lot about Japan.

[James Gryphon]

Granted, she knows everything about Japan, including the locations of the Yakuza's top leaders and information about all the horrible crimes they commit. The government wants her to testify against some of these men; she's placed in the Witness Protection Program and stays with a family at a randomly chosen house, which happens to be yours. The Yakuza bomb your house, killing you, but fail to get Mhera, who testifies against them and brings down the organization. Your sacrifice was not in vain.

I wish that my room and everything in it was clean.

[Mhera]

I kinda want to start researching Japan now...sorry Ash

Granted! It's sobanazibgly spotless with not a trace of germs, bacteria, or dust left in it. Unfortunately the cleaning process involved radiation and highly corrosive materials. You're left with a very clean pile of hazardous waste.

I wish my English essay will get a great score

[James Gryphon]

Granted; it gets a perfect score. This encourages you to take up a career in newspaper journalism. Unfortunately, physical newspapers are on their way out, and you waste ten years of your life trying to make your dying dream come true.

I wish that my wishes could come true.