Redwall Abbey

Corin the black  fox
        By Captain Rake Nightfur,
                            (http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_SLAcvQZL_7E/R7_Dlf0jsTI/AAAAAAAAABY/S_satHZqCnY/s400/fox.jpg)
                             Prologue:    
Wellcane sat on a log outside a tent made from animal skins, a old vixen came from the tent, wellcane grabbed her
"well?" he sat "is it over?"    
the vixen qaiuled under his strong  grip "aye lord  ye' may come in."
The powerful fox throw her like a rag doll and walked into the tent.
                                             
Inside the tent a pure white vixen save for the tip of her tail lay on a bed of Velvet;
She look up at wellcane's inters, wellcane glared at her.
"well? Where is he?"
"he is here, lord." said the vixen and she took a bundle for her side;
"his small!" said the black fox
"he will grow, lord."
                                             

The old vixen come in, wellcane turned "well, what are the omens, seeyer?"

The runso the  seer take her omen's and cast them her eyes turned dull and she said in a crones

The stone most save the chosen  one
The stone most be it's saver.
The world will break the sun will burn 'til the one is revealed
The earth world will be the taker,
The one who's has the dagger and green will kill the father that made him be.
They'll  be one who will deny the stones life and then...kill for all ye life!!!

                                           *
"well, What does that mean?" asked wellcane glaring at the seer.
The seer bowed "lord, me thinks it is a prophecy about they son." said the seer
rubbish!"
"nay, lord, it is."
"then what does it mean?"
"they son will become a dangerous beast."
Wellcane glared at the seerey "is he a threat?"
Runso picked her words carefully "lord...they son MAY be come a threat."
Wellcane looked thoughtfull "if he is a threat he most go."
The white vixen, who had stayed silent all this time got up "but lord he is only a babe!"
Wellcane turned around silents! He will be ."
"No!" the vixen grad the babe and ran
Wellcane bellowed grad her!! Stop her! Kill her anything just get her!!"
The vixen ran to the river and throw her babe in "be safe." she said and watched the bundle float down the river wellcane came up fool, his gone now."
Of the two foxes silneow was to be right



(do you think i should write more?)


Important note: the image you see is NOT done my me, all cedits go to the rightful artist. ^^

please!! tell me what you think!!!! )

Write more! I'm kinda curious to know what happens. Also, you should use a spell checker.

Aye, but the story seems intresting, the babe and the warlord remind me abit off veil from outcast of redwall

                                         (https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRR-w4M5fvZV8waHTvJq1f76v-E11LTH5PSuQnRUniYDe95h3MYzQhgPfCz)
Corin the black fox stared at Redwall through piercing emerald-green eyes. The fox had been watching the Abbey for four days so far. Soon, he would make his move...
                                              *
The setting sun shone on Redwall Abbey, turning the red sandstone walls scarlet. Breeze the squirrelmaid was sitting at the pond, singing a quiet melody. The tune and her sweet voice drifted up to the Abbey walls.


"The lark sings her song
But no one calls back
She sings her song though you never look back
Then the lark flies on high to the world of sky
Where she lives there happily,
ever whistling her sweet melody..."



The quick ditty sighed on the breeze, carrying the sounds to the lawn, where Rinson, Breeze's father, and the Skipper of otters sat chatting amiably.  
"I reckin that yore daughter sings to the birds, mate," said Skipper.
"Aye!" Rinson said proudly. "Joy o' my heart an' the apple of me eye, that little maid is."
"She could charm the birds out o' the trees with that voice."
Rinson laughed, swelling his chest with pride. "I bet she does!"
Breeze saw her father and waved a paw. "Hi, you two! How are you?"
Rinson smiled. "Thank ye, Breeze, we're doin' just fine! How are ye, me little bird-charmer?"
Breeze sidled over, grinning slyly. "Y'know, I heard that the Summer Feast will be here soon..."
Skipper chuckled. "A fine singin' voice an' a good pair o' ears, that's wot yore daughter's got! Rinson, matey, the cook'd best watch out before she comes in there an' charms 'im into an early feast! I wouldn't mind, actually, 'twill be a feast to remember!"
Breeze smiled sweetly. "Certainly, Skip, I think you'll enjoy dressing up as a clown with the rest of your ottercrew!"
Skipper smote his brow in mock anguish. "Ye'd be able to sing me into it, I wager!"
Breeze giggled and skipped off, mischief glittering in her eyes.
Skipper shifted into a more comfortable position. "Well, Rinson, ye've got yore work cut out for ye with that one, that's for sure!"
Rinson sighed. "Perhaps so, Skip, but she's a good daughter. She's young, she'll grow out of it."

                                          *
Breeze walked up to a mouse about her age. "Good Evening, Farris, how are you?"
The mouse was lean and tall, but of strong build. He had dark grey eyes, and was a quiet type. He dipped his head in acknowledgement. "Fine, thank you, Breeze." Though the reply was polite, it was distant and cool. Farris was not born at the Abbey; he had come 12 seasons ago, nought but a young orphan. He never spoke of his family, and was very secretive.

                                                *
Corin the fox was watching the Abbey, waiting in the growing darkness.


thanks moss-sama for editing :3 )

Important note: the image you see is NOT done my me, all cedits go to the rightful artist. ^^

(ow and sorry it took so long...school *sigh* )

thanks! and now that i think about it, you right....but the storys nothing like outcast of redwall )

Quote from: Skipper on April 16, 2012, 07:12:26 PM
Aye, but the story seems intresting, the babe and the warlord remind me abit off veil from outcast of redwall

well...what do you guy think?

Really Good!!

Quote from: MatthiasMan on April 20, 2012, 09:27:26 PM
Really Good!!

thanks!  ;D i tried my best  8)

three more post, before i post more  ;)  maybe i asked to much of people but ow well :-\

If you don't have time to do it, during recess go to the library and write a rough draft. Then you'll know what to write at home so it'll go by quicker. This is what I do for Danderson's story. (my story) :)

I can't wait until the next part comes out!

thanks old chap, wot. i do my writing at home it only takes about 1 hour to do a cap. i have the plot and stuff in my head and a now the full story so i'm just waiting for 2 more post!  ;D

P.S. Thanks for your help though.
P.P.S.i think i wait too long to do the first cap,skipper and
Tiria are not replying  

Quote from: MatthiasMan on April 21, 2012, 01:07:54 PM
If you don't have time to do it, during recess go to the library and write a rough draft. Then you'll know what to write at home so it'll go by quicker. This is what I do for Danderson's story. (my story) :)

I can't wait until the next part comes out!

TWO MORE POST..

Do you have to get an amount of posts from people to add more to your story or something?

Quote from: MatthiasMan on April 21, 2012, 07:01:15 PM
Do you have to get an amount of posts from people to add more to your story or something?

no, but i want to know if i have people (beside you who i am thankful to ) who want more but for you i'll put cap 2 on in 2 hours  :D

                                          (http://)
                           
                                                       2      
2      
Wellcane paced impatiently. Where had that Seer got to? He looked up as his wife walked past with a young vixen named Kei. Kei was not born into the horde, having been a gentle healer in the past. The young vixen was suprisingly reluctant to join in the traditional activities; even now, she never took part in the fights and killing raids. Silneow the vixen took immediately to Kei; the healer reminded her of her lost son...the unnamed cub, drowned by now. And I was the one who killed him! The thought was enough to make her weep at night sometimes.
Wellcane growled at them. "Vixen! Where is my Seer?"
Silneow stared him coolly in the eyes. "I know nought. She is your Seer, Lord." The last word was more a mocking taunt than a formal title.
Wellcane stalked off in a foul mood. The nerve of that vixen! He hadn't the time to deal with her now, though. He spotted the Seer coming from the outer fringe of the woodlands to the southwest and confronted her. "Where have you been?" he snarled nastily.
The Seer bowed hastily. "Lord, I have had a sign. Methinks trouble is brewing, sire."
Wellcane raised an eyebrow suspiciously. "What kind of trouble?"
"I know nought, Lord. I have seen the omens, though."
He leaned closer, eager. "What do they tell you?"
The Seer cast her stones.

"The secret lies with black, the pen and knife the key,
the one who knows the green will be satisfied.
the one with ink will find her heart's desire,
if the omens have not lied.
The tale is undone,
the chosen one has come."

                                                     *
Corin the fox watched the Abbey and sighed.There was no way that an Abbeybeast, let alone a Skipper of otters, was going to let him in. He was a fox, after all. So how was he meant to get in without using force?

                                                     *
Farris the young mouse was walking along the battlements. He looked at the woods and froze in shock. Was that...Corin?


There you have it, sorry I took so long!

what do you think? (i'll put cap 4 up today, by the way)

Ooooh. I wanna know what happens!! Tell me!

(by the way, did you check out my story? Danderson Dettenick Dorranfair is the topic)

                 (https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRbQdSonE92mEd5f9-UVwuu1og6vbAhhLqAdXQUlHqmtazXBW4qnKPPwxkg)
          3
Farris stared in amazement. Corin...here at the Abbey? Corin gazed upwards, narrowing his eyes. He stepped closer, and said quietly, "Farris? Is that you?"
Farris gave a rare grin. He looked like a Dibbun excited for a candied chestnut. "Corin...brother?"
Corin smile back at his adopted brother. "I promised I'd come back, Farris, and I did."

                                                   *
Kei and Silneow paced around the camp, quietly discussing herbs.

                                                   *
Farris nodded, supressing another wide smile. "I know. You never break a promise." He looked around shiftily. "You'd better hide before Skipper or Rinson see you."
Corin nodded slightly and melted back into the shadows. He was just in time, too. Breeze the squirrelmaid and Mother Abbess Mitreeo came walking along the walkway. Mitreeo nodded to Farris. "Good evening, Farris. Out for a stroll, I see?"
Farris looked guiltily at the spot where Corin had been. "Erm...Yes, Mother Abbess...I think I'll...ah...go help down in the kitchens, so...umm...goodbye!" Farris stepped around them and ran down into the Abbey.
Abbess Mitreeo stared at the door where Farris had disappeared. She shook her head with a weary sigh. "That young mouse...I never understood why he never speaks of his past.
Breeze nodded, almost sympathetically. "I'm sure he has his reasons, though, Mother Abbess."
The Abbess smiled kindly. "You have a head on your young shoulders, Breeze. I'm sure you're right."
The continued their stroll, unaware of Corin lurking in the shadows.

                                              *
Farris scrubbed furiously at a pot in the kitchens. Corin, here? The last time he had seen his 'older brother' was when he was a Dibbun. Corin had brought him to the Abbey after his parents had died of dry-ditch fever. Corin was only two seasons older than Farris, but he was quiet, calm and wise beyond his seasons. He had told Farris to never speak of his past before he left him to a new life. For his 'brother' was a fox, a vermin, and vermin could never dwell in peace with woodlanders.

                                                 *
Corin stared into a pool of water near the wall, gathered from previous rainfall. The surface rippled as a tear fell from the fox's eye, trickled down his face and splashed into the pool with a plop! He had abandoned his adopted brother. He had left him to become a goodbeast, a chance the fox could never have himself. But what would his 'little brother' do when he learned that all vermin were supposedly evil? Would he become a warrior and set out to slay them all?
The fox had broken a promise to his adopted parents...but he had kept one to Farris. He had come back.


There you go, hope it's good!
thanks moss-sama for editing this cap for me. :3 )

well, what do you think?

........(words flowing around in head)....Well.. All I can say is  ??? ??? but  :D :D

I can't believe he has an adopted brother......Wow!

yeah i know, kinda unbelievable   ;D but that goes along way in making the story

P.S. i'll put the next cap. up in 3 hours (have to do some stuff before i write)

Quote from: MatthiasMan on April 25, 2012, 09:35:50 PM
........(words flowing around in head)....Well.. All I can say is  ??? ??? but  :D :D

I can't believe he has an adopted brother......Wow!

really sorry, but i can't put the next cap up today(i'll try and do it tomorrow)

That's OK by me. I can keep my patience.  ;)

okay,thanks.

Quote from: MatthiasMan on April 27, 2012, 02:17:28 AM
That's OK by me. I can keep my patience.  ;)

here is cap 4. sorry it took so long i got the flu)
                                                        4
The night was cold, windy and rainy . the horde of Wellcane the Warlord sat measly in the rain.  The warlord was in a fowl mood, having been set back three day from marching to west to Mossflower woods, he walked in his tent dry from the rain, the seer runso, came and sat in the tent "lord, they horde bis' saying you need to leave thi sea to the woodlands."
Wellcane turned around so fast he almost lost his balance,(which didn't improve his temper) and bellowed "Do you think I care about what  vermin say?!!?'  glaring at runso "Well, do you!?"  the seer tried to soothe the warlords ruffed fur "aye lord me know that thaw not care about such puny beast, but me tell you because....ratwrath and daggrabe are talking about they, they say thaw should go....forever...."
Wellcane look at the seer "be you mean they're planning to kill me?"
The seer nodded "aye lord, that they are."
Wellcane look thoughtful "give them the best of grog and vittles."
"lord?"
Wellcane smiled wickedly "if they're stuffed with grog then what will happen, eh?'
The seer smile "they sleep like logs lord, aye then they can kill them thi self! Brilliant!!"
Wellcane pull out his battle axe testing the blade and smiling wickedly "aye....brilliant."
                                                         *
The abbey walls were hot to the touch, the sun beat down on the heads of Farris, Breeze and a young squirrel named Rigontoson(Farris's best friend) and Grrbee the mole
They walk up and down the lawn helping with the outdoor chorus , farris, along with rigon help with seting up the stacks in the vegetable garden to keep out the wind, breeze help foremole burrto with gathering herbs for sister Gail, the infirmary keeper, grrbee along with some other moles made a tunnel to filter the water from the rains to the vegetable garden.
Some other abbey beast walk  back to the abbey for refeshments, bustling in and out with scones and tea, well others set out tables with silverwear and plates all was going well...for now..
                                                          *
Wellcane watched as ratath and daggrabe as they golpee down  grog ratath hiccupped "thankiy lord,... hick...tis prime grog...!"wellcane grin wolfessly at the two rats as he licked the blade of his double bladed battle-axe
"aye matey, 'prime grog'....the last you'll ever taste!" he said as he swung the battle-axe high above his head, and brought it down with a crash!
                                                       
here's the cap 4 that mossy-sama edited for me ^^ thanks again~

4
The night was cold, windy, and rainy. The horde of Wellcane the Warlord sat in the rain stoically. The Warlord was in a foul mood, having been set back three days from marching west into the Mossflower Woodlands. He walked into his tent, glad that it was warm and dry. The Seer Runso came and joined him. "Lord, the horde is saying ye need to leave this sea. They want ye to go into the woodlands."
Wellcane spun around so fast he almost lost his balance (which didn't improve his temper in the slightest) and bellowed, "Do you think I care about what vermin say?!" He glared at Runso furiously. "Well, do you?!"
The Seer made an attempt to soothe the Warlord's ruffled fur. "Aye, Lord. Meknow that thou doest not care about such puny beasts, but methinks ye should know...Ratwrath and Daggrabe are talking behind thine back. They say thou should go...forever..."
Wellcane stared at the Seer. "You mean they're planning to kill me."
Runso nodded sagely. "Aye, Lord, that they are."
Wellcane looked thoughtful. "Give them the best of grog and vittles."
"My Lord?"
"You heard me!" Wellcane barked. He took a deep breath and explained patiently. "If they're stuffed with grog then what will happen, eh?" A wicked smile curled the corners of his lips.
The Seer, realising the Warlord's plan, also smiled. "They sleep like logs, Lord. Aye, and then thou can kill them thyself!"
Wellcane pulled out his battle axe and tested the blade against his paw. His eyes gleamed maliciously. "Aye. Brilliant."
                                                         *
The Abbey walls were hot to the touch as the sun beat down on the heads of Farris, Breeze, and a young squirrel named Rigontoson, who happened to be Farris's best friend. Grrbee the mole was also there. They walked up and down the lawn, helping with the outdoor chores. Farris and Rigon helped with setting up the stacks in the vegetable garden to keep out the wind. Breeze helped Foremole Burrto with gather herbs for Sister Gail, the Infirmary Keeper. Grrbee and some other moles dug a tunnel to filter the water from the rains to the vegetable garden. Some other Abbeybeast walked back to the Abbey for refreshments, bustling in and out with scones and tea, while others set out tables with silverware and plates. All was going well...for now.

                                                           *
Wellcane watched impassively as Ratwrath and Daggrabe gulped down grog and stuffed their mouths with the food. Ratwrath hiccupped. "Thankee Lord--hic!--'tis prime grog--hic!"
Wellcane grinned wolfishly from behind his axeblade. He held the doubled-headed battle-axe fondly, anticipating its job. "Aye matey. Prime grog. And the last you'll ever taste!" The Warlord lifted the axe high above his head and brought the blade down with devastating efficiency.

well, what do you think??)

Wicked Wellcane! Hicup! Sent me' te' Dark Forest. Hicup!  ;)

lol yeah 'wicked'!  :o

Quote from: MatthiasMan on May 01, 2012, 11:07:07 PM
Wicked Wellcane! Hicup! Sent me' te' Dark Forest. Hicup!  ;)

sorry i can't put up cap 5 now, but i'll try and put it up later on today  :-\

it's here!)
                                                    5       
Daggrabe stared at the body of Ratwrath, the head lying  on the ground. he look at the Warlord wicked smile and babbled like a brook "ow, lard! I wasin' trying to slay ye, i swear it' on me loath, sir!! Tiws all Ratwraths idey! Ow, lord please dot' slay me, I beg ya!"
Wellcane winked at Daggrabe "now there matey, no more blabbing, I an't gonna slay ya."
Daggrabe look blankly at the warlord "ya an't...lord??"
Wellcane nodded "ney,...I'm gonna skin ya!" he said wolfishly 
Degrade let out a agonized  wail  and went on his knees "aaaaa!  Lord please, don' skin me!! I'll do what ever you want, just please don't skin me!!!!!!!!!"
But the Warlord had no mercy  :o
                                                           *
Farris and Rigon worked  at cutting wood blocks that were piled high  next to the abbey building Farris wiped his head fur "I think that enough, right Rigon?"
Rigontoson nodded "aye, anymore and we'll have wood for supper!"
Farris smiled "right matey, that's get this wood to the kitchens  for friar Thomas."
He and Rigon took all of the wood to the kitchens, and knock on the wooden doors
A old mole wife  opened the doors "burr e that bis yung farrsey and rigen, how ares yum two??"
Farris smiled at her "fine, marm, just fine, we have some wood for the ovens, marm."
The old mole nodded "burr in then yum gentle beast come un in."
                                                         *
the sun shone hard on the head of Corin, who, inspect of the sun  watched Redwall tirelessly, his handsome face set in a tight frown. A nit landed on Corin's ear, he didn't even bet a eye lead  as the nit bit him,
He murmured to himself "two days, and nothing...I'll have to leave here, if Farris doesn't decide soon, I'm not even supposed to be here..."he sigh "maybe I'll leave here...farris looks like his fine there..." he blinked a little "..without me."
                                                     *
Wellcane walked away from the lifeless body of Daggrabe he turn to the seer "get that  useless thing out of my site, and get me some vittles well your at it."
The Warlord smiled to himself, things were going the way he'd planed them...soon he'd march to mossflower woods

well, what do you think??

Ambiguous! :o :o :o I can't help wondering what's going to happen.

XDD me too  ;D )

Quote from: MatthiasMan on May 06, 2012, 01:30:36 AM
Ambiguous! :o :o :o I can't help wondering what's going to happen.

good story captain  ;D

thanks! :D  :-X i haven't even started cap 6 though...i'll start it now...

Quote from: Redwaller on May 06, 2012, 09:52:34 PM
good story captain  ;D

*coughs* i know, i know i should have started cap 6 a looooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnngggggg time ago...but i didn't..so i'll start today..that's all old chaps wot,wot! }

Captain's not around much anymore. I hope he's writing his story and going to post soon

She will, don't worry.  ;)

Quote from: MatthiasMan on May 28, 2012, 11:02:28 PM
He will, don't worry.  ;)

*cough* he will write more yes...but i'm a girl...and i can't write much because a virus got on my PC (this is my older sisters laptop) and yeah :/ sorry people, she said she'll fix my pc in a day or two..really sorry..  :-\  :-X  :'(

Oh. Sorry. I modified it.

LOL It's okay  ;D

Quote from: MatthiasMan on May 31, 2012, 08:52:11 PM
Oh. Sorry. I modified it.

right! my pc's fixed to i shall write more corin in a day!!! also i'm making a new book,so if you guys want to read it, say so and i'll make a topic for it!!  ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
~the all-new, hyper cap'n

Yes! Finally.

Awesome! Post soon!

i will!very soon *pushes up sleeves and puts glasses on* right, time for me to work!*takes off glasses* i don't need them...i don't even wear them  ;D *writes corin and new book*




ahh...a break from writing can do a world of good.. 8) )

okay!i have cap 6 almost finished, and  i'm making a new book that the first cap is finish so here's the link! --->   http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=2178.0 (http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=2178.0) ;D

it'S HERE!!!!!! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D)

6

Outside, the sun shone brightly. However, inside the Warlord's tent, a storm was brewing.
"Lost?! LOST?!" Wellcane shrieked. "Off track? You pickle-pawed bottle-nosed lily-livered excuse for a Seer!"
The Seer cowered as the Warlord vented his spleen on her.
"I should skin you alive like I did that rat!" he snarled.
"Lord..." the Seer began placatingly.
"'Lord' nothing!" Wellcane snapped, raising his axe threateningly.
"But my Lord," Runso ventured, her sly mind turning furtively in an effort to mend the problem at hand. "I have recieved an omen."
Wellcane paused in his tirade, staring at her.
                                                                       
                                                           *

Unknown to the Warlord, two figures were observing the camp.
A young hare with sandy-coloured fur chuckled. "Hmph! Well bucko, looks like we've got a spot o' vermin on the bloomin' offensive, wot!"
His companion, a lean, sharp-eyed Galloper, smiled dryly in agreement. He spoke with a thick highland brogue, "Aye, mate, and Ah bet mah auntie's pinnafore that his Lordship Ironclaw will be pleased tae see 'em."
"Pleased ye say, Raketam? I think his paws will burst his flippin' boots, wot wot!"
Raketam shifted restlessly, an insane battle light glittering in his eyes. "Well then, let's gae tae tell him, shall we?"
The sandy hare nodded. "Right-o, chap!"

                                                         *

Farris and Rigon had their heads close together, whispering and laughing quietly. The kitchen door flew open as a young otter with a roguish grin on his face raced out. Friar Thomas came puffing after him, waving a ladle. "You young rip! Give me back my scones and tea!"
The otter, Aden, winked at the Friar. Farris and Rigon tried to hide their smiles.
"Sorry," Aden spread his paws innocently, gazing sorrowfully at the mouse-cook. "I ate them. But I'll tell you what; I'll help you in the kitchen all day, hmm?"
The Friar shook his head in mock despair. "You'll eat the Abbey out of house and home!"
Aden looked hurt. "Well then, sorry I couldn't be of help!" With a sly wink towards Farris and Rigon, he snatched the final scone that Friar Thomas was holding and fled.
Farris and Rigon burst out laughing when both creatures had gone.

                                                       *

Corin sighed sadly. This was depressing. "Well," he commented drearily to a dove. "It looks like I'll be leaving here soon..."
The dove clucked, almost disappointedly, and took to the air. Corin sighed again. Was Farris somewhere in the Abbey, enjoying his time with his friends. Corin couldn't relate to that feeling. He was an outcast.




(this cap was just to let you guy catch up on whats happening in the story ;D)
edit:they were a lot of typos so i fixed them up a little )

Is Rake Tam going to have any reference to Rakkety Tam?

Quote from: MatthiasMan on June 22, 2012, 03:41:52 AM
Is Rake Tam going to have any reference to Rakkety Tam?

umm...his from the highlands, that's about it...(and his a hare not a squirrel(the only reason his in this book is because i love highland accents  ;D (and his from the mountain )

Awesome Rake!

thanks!did you check out the victim?  :)

Not yet. I'm gonna have to take the time and read some Fanfics here.

the victim is on the forums here, is fanfic. but okay, hope you can tell me what you think of it soon  ^.^

Quote from: Redwaller on June 22, 2012, 06:14:52 PM
Not yet. I'm gonna have to take the time and read some Fanfics here.

hey guys, I'm taking a one week break from writing, I've been writing like mad(on other stuff and corin and 'the victim') so yeah..that's it
P.S. Cap 7 will be up in a week too  ;)

cool.

yup! ^.^ but i'm just going to chill at home.  ;D
P.S. if you guys what to know something, just e-mail me.here's my e-mail. redwallfan101@gmail.com
okay see ya *poofs*

My email is zeldafox3ds@gmail.com.

okay, i'll sent you a test e-mail in a few minute  : ;) 

Quote from: MatthiasMan on June 28, 2012, 08:28:49 PM
My email is zeldafox3ds@gmail.com.

sorry guys, i'll try to write cap 7 in a week or so. it's just that i'm so busy. :-\

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!! No, No, No, NOOOOO! . . . . . . .






Nooooooooo!

Quote from: MatthiasMan on August 25, 2012, 03:20:05 PM
Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!! No, No, No, NOOOOO! . . . . . . .






Nooooooooo!

well......i'm guessing you don't want me to stop...

okay, I'll wait until redwaller replies , then I'll make my choice....

Heyyo, Rake, if you think your story isn't good enough, you don't have to keep writing. I personally enjoy it so far. Maybe you could rewrite it to where you like it more. Just because you don't think it's that good right now doesn't mean that you can't go back and revise. I'll even help you build it up better and stronger if you want.

Okay, thanks! i personally don't really want to end it now DX because i now have two people who'd like it do continue. So here's what i decided, I'll rewrite  the proluge, cap 1 - 6, then I'll write up cap 7 in a week. ^^
sound good?

Quote from: WarriorOfMossflower on August 26, 2012, 04:54:24 AM
Heyyo, Rake, if you think your story isn't good enough, you don't have to keep writing. I personally enjoy it so far. Maybe you could rewrite it to where you like it more. Just because you don't think it's that good right now doesn't mean that you can't go back and revise. I'll even help you build it up better and stronger if you want.

Awesome! I'll be waiting. . . If you'd like Captain I can help you. I like to make a good story.

Sure thing Rake! Keep it up! We're always here for help if you need us.

thank you guys so much!! ;D
..........................i think what i need is a editor...XD

Quote from: WarriorOfMossflower on August 26, 2012, 07:48:33 PM
Sure thing Rake! Keep it up! We're always here for help if you need us.

*waves hand frantically* I'll be your editor!
I've always wanted to be an editor... lol

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh! Yay yay yay! Now the story will continue! Finally!

okay XD i i'll give you i short story of mine to edit, so i can see if i like it. XD
@man;; yes, it shall continue XD at long last the lazy writer is beginning to rite once more. XD

Quote from: WarriorOfMossflower on August 27, 2012, 01:53:51 PM
*waves hand frantically* I'll be your editor!
I've always wanted to be an editor... lol

Quote from: Captain Rake Nightfur on August 27, 2012, 07:12:33 PM
okay XD i i'll give you i short story of mine to edit, so i can see if i like it. XD
@man;; yes, it shall continue XD at long last the lazy writer is beginning to rite once more. XD

Quote from: WarriorOfMossflower on August 27, 2012, 01:53:51 PM
*waves hand frantically* I'll be your editor!
I've always wanted to be an editor... lol

Yay, I'll try my best!

'Farris look like a little babe happy over a candied chestnut ' lol Xd i can't believe i wrote that line, it so...Xd i don't know but it doesn't sound right XD :D

xD

Quote from: Captain Rake Nightfur on August 29, 2012, 05:06:53 PM
'Farris look like a little babe happy over a candied chestnut ' lol Xd i can't believe i wrote that line, it so...Xd i don't know but it doesn't sound right XD :D

How about,"Farris looked like a babe squealing with joy over a hard earned candied chesnut."

That sound better? (I call co-editor. ;D)

Did you want us to edit that, Rake?

okay XD

@mossy-san;;umm...no,not yet anyway.  i have to give you that short story to edit first, now where did i save it at?....

Quote from: MatthiasMan on August 30, 2012, 02:09:29 AM

Quote from: Captain Rake Nightfur on August 29, 2012, 05:06:53 PM
'Farris look like a little babe happy over a candied chestnut ' lol Xd i can't believe i wrote that line, it so...Xd i don't know but it doesn't sound right XD :D

How about,"Farris looked like a babe squealing with joy over a hard earned candied chesnut."

That sound better? (I call co-editor. ;D)

mossy-san? lol, guess you can call me that if you want.

X3 okay. and could you guys edit the prologue, i can't see anything wrong with it so i can't edit it.DX

Quote from: WarriorOfMossflower on September 01, 2012, 01:02:46 AM
mossy-san? lol, guess you can call me that if you want.

In the beggining you put that Wellcane, "throw" the old vixen like a rag doll. It should be "threw"

Where Wellcane says, "His small," and the white vixen says,"He will grow Lord," Lord is capatilized and Wellcane should say, "He's small." Not His.

Quote from: MatthiasMan on September 01, 2012, 03:00:21 PM
In the beggining you put that Wellcane, "throw" the old vixen like a rag doll. It should be "threw"

Where Wellcane says, "His small," and the white vixen says,"He will grow Lord," Lord is capatilized and Wellcane should say, "He's small." Not His.

agreed

Prologue

Wellcane sat on a log outside a tent made from animal skins. An old vixen came from the tent, and Wellcane grabbed her roughly.
“Well?” he growled. “Is it over?”   
The vixen quailed under his strong grip. "Aye, Lord. Ye may come in.”
The powerful fox threw her like a rag doll and walked into the tent.
                                             
Inside the tent, a pure white vixen, save for the tip of her tail, lay on a bed of velvet.
She looked up as Wellcane entered. Wellcane glared at her.
“Well? Where is he?”
“He is here, Lord,” said the vixen. She took a bundle from her side.
“He is small!” exclaimed the black fox.
“He will grow, Lord.”
         
The old vixen came in, and Wellcane turned “Well, what are the omens, seer?”
Runso the seer took out her stones and sticks and cast them. Her eyes turned dull as she spoke, as if in a trance.

The stone must save the chosen  one
The stone must be its saviour.
The world will break, the sun will burn, ‘til the one is revealed
The earth world will be the taker,
The one who has the dagger and green will kill the father that made him be.
There'll be one who will deny the stone's life and then…kill for all ye life!!!

                                            *
“Well, what does that mean?” asked Wellcane, glaring at the seer.
The seer bowed. “Lord, methinks 'tis a prophecy about thy son.”
"Rubbish!”
“Nay, Lord, 'tis true."
"Then what does it mean?"
"Thy son will become a dangerous beast."
Wellcane stared at the seer. "Is he a threat?"
Runso chose her words carefully. "Lord...thy son MAY become a threat."
Wellcane looked thoughtful. "If he is a threat, then he must go."
The white vixen, who had been silent all this time, stood to face the black fox. "But Lord, he is only a babe!"
Wellcane whirled about. "Silence! He will be executed."
"No!" the vixen snatched up the babe and ran for her life.
Wellcane bellowed, "Grab her, stop her! Shoot her down with arrows, anything! Do not let her escape!"
The vixen fled, narrowly dodging arrows, spears, and other evil-looking implements. She halted at the river and threw the newborn fox in. "Be safe, my son." She watched the little bundle float down the river.
Wellcane came up behind her, holding a keen knife to her throat.
The vixen did not struggle, she simply looked the black fox in the eyes and said, "He is gone now, you fool. My son is safe."

That's my edited version, tell me if you like it.

Yes, much better.

yeah it does, sorry, that was my first EVER writing so it did have a lot of mistakes DX sorry.(also my keyboard was acting up at that time  >:( )

S'alright, Rake. No problem, I like editting.  ;D

Yeah, editing is fun.

okay then, can you edit cap 1(there's some mistakes there) and cap 2 please. ^.^

Quote from: MatthiasMan on September 02, 2012, 12:28:30 PM
Yeah, editing is fun.

Ok after I start the next chapter for The Maiden's Trial.

okay uys, i'm going to start writing cap 7 now =.=' man,i hate writing blocks...)

hey guys, i'm starting to take art classes so i'm gonna be busy, but i have most of cap 7 wrote up so i should be done on Friday or Thursday .  ;D

K, great! I'll get to work on chapter 1

Corin the black fox stared at Redwall through piercing emerald-green eyes. The fox had been watching the Abbey for four days so far. Soon, he would make his move...
                                               *
The setting sun shone on Redwall Abbey, turning the red sandstone walls scarlet. Breeze the squirrelmaid was sitting at the pond, singing a quiet melody. The tune and her sweet voice drifted up to the Abbey walls.


"The lark sings her song
But no one calls back
She sings her song though you never look back
Then the lark flies on high to the world of sky
Where she lives there happily,
ever whistling her sweet melody..."



The quick ditty sighed on the breeze, carrying the sounds to the lawn, where Rinson, Breeze's father, and the Skipper of otters sat chatting amiably. 
"I reckin that yore daughter sings to the birds, mate," said Skipper.
"Aye!" Rinson said proudly. "Joy o' my heart an' the apple of me eye, that little maid is."
"She could charm the birds out o' the trees with that voice."
Rinson laughed, swelling his chest with pride. "I bet she does!"
Breeze saw her father and waved a paw. "Hi, you two! How are you?"
Rinson smiled. "Thank ye, Breeze, we're doin' just fine! How are ye, me little bird-charmer?"
Breeze sidled over, grinning slyly. "Y'know, I heard that the Summer Feast will be here soon..."
Skipper chuckled. "A fine singin' voice an' a good pair o' ears, that's wot yore daughter's got! Rinson, matey, the cook'd best watch out before she comes in there an' charms 'im into an early feast! I wouldn't mind, actually, 'twill be a feast to remember!"
Breeze smiled sweetly. "Certainly, Skip, I think you'll enjoy dressing up as a clown with the rest of your ottercrew!"
Skipper smote his brow in mock anguish. "Ye'd be able to sing me into it, I wager!"
Breeze giggled and skipped off, mischief glittering in her eyes.
Skipper shifted into a more comfortable position. "Well, Rinson, ye've got yore work cut out for ye with that one, that's for sure!"
Rinson sighed. "Perhaps so, Skip, but she's a good daughter. She's young, she'll grow out of it."

                                           *
Breeze walked up to a mouse about her age. "Evenin', Farris, how are you?"
The mouse was lean and tall, but of strong build. He had dark grey eyes, and was a quiet type. He dipped his head in acknowledgement. "Fine, thank you, Breeze." Though the reply was polite, it was distant and cool. Farris was not born at the Abbey; he had come 12 seasons ago, nought but a young orphan. He never spoke of his family, and was very secretive.

                                                 *
Corin the fox was watching the Abbey, waiting in the growing darkness.




You like? Hope you don't mind a few of the changes I made.

it's great, but the only Problem is the 'evening'' part. Breeze speaks with no slig or mispronounced words, and it's in the morning too, so, yeah, but I'm lucky to have such a great editor <3

Quote from: WarriorOfMossflower on September 11, 2012, 02:31:11 AM
Corin the black fox stared at Redwall through piercing emerald-green eyes. The fox had been watching the Abbey for four days so far. Soon, he would make his move...
                                               *
The setting sun shone on Redwall Abbey, turning the red sandstone walls scarlet. Breeze the squirrelmaid was sitting at the pond, singing a quiet melody. The tune and her sweet voice drifted up to the Abbey walls.


"The lark sings her song
But no one calls back
She sings her song though you never look back
Then the lark flies on high to the world of sky
Where she lives there happily,
ever whistling her sweet melody..."



The quick ditty sighed on the breeze, carrying the sounds to the lawn, where Rinson, Breeze's father, and the Skipper of otters sat chatting amiably. 
"I reckin that yore daughter sings to the birds, mate," said Skipper.
"Aye!" Rinson said proudly. "Joy o' my heart an' the apple of me eye, that little maid is."
"She could charm the birds out o' the trees with that voice."
Rinson laughed, swelling his chest with pride. "I bet she does!"
Breeze saw her father and waved a paw. "Hi, you two! How are you?"
Rinson smiled. "Thank ye, Breeze, we're doin' just fine! How are ye, me little bird-charmer?"
Breeze sidled over, grinning slyly. "Y'know, I heard that the Summer Feast will be here soon..."
Skipper chuckled. "A fine singin' voice an' a good pair o' ears, that's wot yore daughter's got! Rinson, matey, the cook'd best watch out before she comes in there an' charms 'im into an early feast! I wouldn't mind, actually, 'twill be a feast to remember!"
Breeze smiled sweetly. "Certainly, Skip, I think you'll enjoy dressing up as a clown with the rest of your ottercrew!"
Skipper smote his brow in mock anguish. "Ye'd be able to sing me into it, I wager!"
Breeze giggled and skipped off, mischief glittering in her eyes.
Skipper shifted into a more comfortable position. "Well, Rinson, ye've got yore work cut out for ye with that one, that's for sure!"
Rinson sighed. "Perhaps so, Skip, but she's a good daughter. She's young, she'll grow out of it."

                                           *
Breeze walked up to a mouse about her age. "Evenin', Farris, how are you?"
The mouse was lean and tall, but of strong build. He had dark grey eyes, and was a quiet type. He dipped his head in acknowledgement. "Fine, thank you, Breeze." Though the reply was polite, it was distant and cool. Farris was not born at the Abbey; he had come 12 seasons ago, nought but a young orphan. He never spoke of his family, and was very secretive.

                                                 *
Corin the fox was watching the Abbey, waiting in the growing darkness.




You like? Hope you don't mind a few of the changes I made.

also rinson is the quiet type...o!and i want to know  what you thought of a poem I made up for cap 8, I made it up pretty quick(3 minute) so it's probably not great but I just want t know what you think.

The world will be one with the sky's,
As the sun slips through tired gales
I wait here alone for  dear friends,
Now gone away from me,
As my tired body grows old, and my history unfolds
I see their faces clear as day, ands wish that I could join them some day.
I feel my time has come, to sat down this pen,
And lay back to see my dear friends
~ recorder glof in the time of abbot shon


R.I.P. )

Quote from: Captain Rake Nightfur on September 11, 2012, 02:42:51 PM
it's great, but the only Problem is the 'evening'' part. Breeze speaks with no slig or mispronounced words, and it's in the morning too, so, yeah, but I'm lucky to have such a great editor <3

Quote from: WarriorOfMossflower on September 11, 2012, 02:31:11 AM
Corin the black fox stared at Redwall through piercing emerald-green eyes. The fox had been watching the Abbey for four days so far. Soon, he would make his move...
                                               *
The setting sun shone on Redwall Abbey, turning the red sandstone walls scarlet. Breeze the squirrelmaid was sitting at the pond, singing a quiet melody. The tune and her sweet voice drifted up to the Abbey walls.


"The lark sings her song
But no one calls back
She sings her song though you never look back
Then the lark flies on high to the world of sky
Where she lives there happily,
ever whistling her sweet melody..."



The quick ditty sighed on the breeze, carrying the sounds to the lawn, where Rinson, Breeze's father, and the Skipper of otters sat chatting amiably. 
"I reckin that yore daughter sings to the birds, mate," said Skipper.
"Aye!" Rinson said proudly. "Joy o' my heart an' the apple of me eye, that little maid is."
"She could charm the birds out o' the trees with that voice."
Rinson laughed, swelling his chest with pride. "I bet she does!"
Breeze saw her father and waved a paw. "Hi, you two! How are you?"
Rinson smiled. "Thank ye, Breeze, we're doin' just fine! How are ye, me little bird-charmer?"
Breeze sidled over, grinning slyly. "Y'know, I heard that the Summer Feast will be here soon..."
Skipper chuckled. "A fine singin' voice an' a good pair o' ears, that's wot yore daughter's got! Rinson, matey, the cook'd best watch out before she comes in there an' charms 'im into an early feast! I wouldn't mind, actually, 'twill be a feast to remember!"
Breeze smiled sweetly. "Certainly, Skip, I think you'll enjoy dressing up as a clown with the rest of your ottercrew!"
Skipper smote his brow in mock anguish. "Ye'd be able to sing me into it, I wager!"
Breeze giggled and skipped off, mischief glittering in her eyes.
Skipper shifted into a more comfortable position. "Well, Rinson, ye've got yore work cut out for ye with that one, that's for sure!"
Rinson sighed. "Perhaps so, Skip, but she's a good daughter. She's young, she'll grow out of it."

                                           *
Breeze walked up to a mouse about her age. "Evenin', Farris, how are you?"
The mouse was lean and tall, but of strong build. He had dark grey eyes, and was a quiet type. He dipped his head in acknowledgement. "Fine, thank you, Breeze." Though the reply was polite, it was distant and cool. Farris was not born at the Abbey; he had come 12 seasons ago, nought but a young orphan. He never spoke of his family, and was very secretive.

                                                 *
Corin the fox was watching the Abbey, waiting in the growing darkness.




You like? Hope you don't mind a few of the changes I made.

K, are you sure you want it to be morning or evening, because at the beginning you mentioned that the sunset was turning the Abbey walls a rosy hue or whatever, so I took it to be evening.
Correction acknowledged. Breeze has no slang.

Quote from: Captain Rake Nightfur on September 11, 2012, 02:50:54 PM
also rinson is the quiet type...o!and i want to know  what you thought of a poem I made up for cap 8, I made it up pretty quick(3 minute) so it's probably not great but I just want t know what you think.

The world will be one with the sky's,
As the sun slips through tired gales
I wait here alone for  dear friends,
Now gone away from me,
As my tired body grows old, and my history unfolds
I see their faces clear as day, ands wish that I could join them some day.
I feel my time has come, to sat down this pen,
And lay back to see my dear friends
~ recorder glof in the time of abbot shon


R.I.P. )

Acknowledged. I'll make sure he sounds quieter in following chapters.

As for the poem, I like the poem as a whole, but it could be made to flow a little better. I can edit it a little bit if you want. It was made quickly, so that's understandable.
(No offense.)

no, i'll work on the poem today, yeah i know it's not all that good Xd i'm aweful writer, anyway about the evening  thing, sorry i was sleepy when i wrote it, so i guess it is evening. but you do a really great job, so i'm grateful for you to even be helping me. ^.^ i'll try to be more clear in the future

~ Rake. )

Quote from: WarriorOfMossflower on September 12, 2012, 03:14:19 AM

Quote from: Captain Rake Nightfur on September 11, 2012, 02:50:54 PM
also rinson is the quiet type...o!and i want to know  what you thought of a poem I made up for cap 8, I made it up pretty quick(3 minute) so it's probably not great but I just want t know what you think.

The world will be one with the sky's,
As the sun slips through tired gales
I wait here alone for  dear friends,
Now gone away from me,
As my tired body grows old, and my history unfolds
I see their faces clear as day, ands wish that I could join them some day.
I feel my time has come, to sat down this pen,
And lay back to see my dear friends
~ recorder glof in the time of abbot shon


R.I.P. )

Acknowledged. I'll make sure he sounds quieter in following chapters.

As for the poem, I like the poem as a whole, but it could be made to flow a little better. I can edit it a little bit if you want. It was made quickly, so that's understandable.
(No offense.)

Quote from: Captain Rake Nightfur on September 12, 2012, 01:28:56 PM
no, i'll work on the poem today, yeah i know it's not all that good Xd i'm aweful writer, anyway about the evening  thing, sorry i was sleepy when i wrote it, so i guess it is evening. but you do a really great job, so i'm grateful for you to even be helping me. ^.^ i'll try to be more clear in the future

~ Rake. )

Quote from: WarriorOfMossflower on September 12, 2012, 03:14:19 AM

Quote from: Captain Rake Nightfur on September 11, 2012, 02:50:54 PM
also rinson is the quiet type...o!and i want to know  what you thought of a poem I made up for cap 8, I made it up pretty quick(3 minute) so it's probably not great but I just want t know what you think.

The world will be one with the sky's,
As the sun slips through tired gales
I wait here alone for  dear friends,
Now gone away from me,
As my tired body grows old, and my history unfolds
I see their faces clear as day, ands wish that I could join them some day.
I feel my time has come, to sat down this pen,
And lay back to see my dear friends
~ recorder glof in the time of abbot shon


R.I.P. )

Acknowledged. I'll make sure he sounds quieter in following chapters.

As for the poem, I like the poem as a whole, but it could be made to flow a little better. I can edit it a little bit if you want. It was made quickly, so that's understandable.
(No offense.)

No problem, glad to help!

it's here!)

                                                                  7
The heat was deafening, so was a lot of voices
"why you little....what do you think you doing?!"
Farris,rigon and the otter named aden were having a bit of a fight with a mouse named Ailen, farris having been walking and bumping into the ill tempered mouse. Rigon and  aden had been on they're way to the cellar to get some cooking cider from Eadu longspike the cellar hog
Farris stood arms over his chest, try to keep his temper in check "I didn't see you, and I said I was sorry..."
"unacceptable!! "
Aden then decided  to step in  'look-"  
The mouse turn "back off river dog!'
The mother abbess Mitreeo at that ever moment was walking down the tunnel of flowing rose the gardener had put up with loving care, the red, white and yellow beauties, some fallen on the ground making a lovely carpet, the few thorn, that where there were like tiny swords, protecting the roses from enemies. The abbess sighed in respire as she picked up a fallen rose, it was pink, and delicate, the stem of which relieved that some beast and torn it off the plant "I must tell the dinduns about doing that...' she mused to herself, then hearing the shouts she floated gracefully over to see what was going on.
                                     *
The hare raketam and a large group of hares were sitting in the mess hall at Salamandastron, the hares were chatting, singing, eating, having food fights, and generally  being hares. Many begin calling for raketam to sing a old highland song and raketam, after a few prods from his friend begin in a strong clear voice, his comrades join in on the choruses, and, to the delight of the hares younger then raketam, he begin to do a classic river dance in time to the music never missing a beat. and the old hares' who had heard the song before played flutes, drums and even a horn pip to the tune!

"*Oh then, tell mah Seán O'Farrell, tell mah why you hurry so?
"Hush a bhuachaill, hush and listen", an' his cheeks were all aglow,
"I bear orders from the cap'n:- get yer ready quick an' soon
For the pikes must be together by the rising o' the moon!"
By the rising o' the moon, by the rising o' the moon,

For the pikes must be together by the rising o' the moon

"An' come tell mah Seán O'Farrell where the gath'rin' is tae be?"
"In the old spot by the river, right well known tae ye and mah.
One more word for signal token:- whistle out the marchin' tune,
With yer pike upon yer shoulder, by the rising o' the moon."
By the rising o' the moon, by the rising o' the moon
With yer pike upon yer shoulder, by the rising o'  the moon.

Out from many a mud wall cabin eyes were watching through the night,
Many a beastly chest was throbbin', for the blessed morning light.
Murmurs ran along the valleys like the banshee's lonely croon
And a thousand pikes were flashin' at the rising o' the moon.
At the rising o' the moon, at the rising o' the moon.
And a thousand pikes were flashin' by the rising o' the moon.

There beside the singin' river that black mass of warriors was seen,
High above their shining weapons flew their own beloved green.
"Death tae every foe an' traitor! Forward strike the marchin' tune."
And hurrah my boys for freedom; 'tis the rising of the moon".
Tis the rising of the moon, 'tis the rising o' the moon
And hurrah mah boys for freedom; 'Tis the risin' o' the moon".

Well they fought for the poor old highlands , and full bitter was our fate,
Oh what glorious pride and sorrow, fills the name of ninety-eight!
Yet, thank goodness, e'en still are beating hearts in warriorhood burning noon,
Who would follow in their footsteps, at the rising of the moon
At the rising of the moon, At the rising of the moon
Who would follow in their footsteps, at the risin' o' the moon."

After the chapping and back slapping was finished raketam and the hare, sandbuck longsite walked slowly up to the  Forge camber both young hare waited a moment before knocking an have a cough to be sure they were heard, a loud booming voice reply
"who is it?"
Raketam stood straight and tall as he bark out;  "Eastern gallopers an' trackers reportin' , sir!"
There was a pause then;
"come in."
The two young hares walked in; they looked around, They had entered the realm of the badger lords'. Weapons and shields, coats of armor made from sliver, gold and the hardest metals ever found decorated the rough, yet cozy room, but greatest of all was Lord Ironclaw Grimrip himself standing taller then the hares long ears, he was a formidable figure with dark brown eyes and a scar running across his shoulder blades, which he had gotten no doubt in some great battle.  The young hares couldn't help but gaze in awe of this strong, but wise creature. Ironclaw looked down at them then the smallest smile played  on his lips,
"well?" he said. "do you plan on gulping there all day?"
Both the hare immediately jumped -so to speak- to attention.
Ironclaw chuckled then he grow serious once more, "right, what is the new?'
Raketam  and sandbuck exchanged  glances.
"Well sir." begin the tall highland hare
"Ye ken it was fine up until we got to the high dunes down a pace tae the north-east,  there was a little surprise there awaitin' us, sir.'
The badger lord eyed the hare
"What surprise?"
"Vermin, tiwas vermin, sar."
The badger lords' eyes lit up momentarily
"Vermin?'
"Aye."
The badger lord paced over to hid window seat, casting its' view over, the now amber tinted sea "right.' he said "Here's what we'll do. get Captain Sean, and Major Crunsbort will you?"
                                                     *
After rake tam had told the offices, he walked to a ledge outside of the fort, he sat looking at the full, reddish tinted moon, gazing wistfully at it.
"No beast can take your memories away from ya, no matter how hard thy try."
He quoted as the stars peeped out from their hiding placesand took their place in the sky one by one, , and the sea lapped on the shore, a small crab waddled over the sands, raketams thoughts drifted into his past.
He had come from a old family of ruler over the mountains, but the vermin had come in the 6th season of his life, taking everything dear to him away, and leaving him to die in the cold snows, but hope springs anew if one trusts fate. And that had been the case with the small hare, he had been found by a elderly female hare name Densee, Desee had clothed him, feed him, for the as long as he could remember of her. But alas she had die when he was 12 season old, with great sorrow he had buried the old hare in a quiet glade.
And had left the highlands, taking his last reminder of his heritage, a beautiful sword made by his grandfather. a long the way he had met vermin and woodland creatures, having saved the family of bank voles they had given him a cloak and food, rowing even farther he had ended up at Salamandastron at the age of  thirteen seasons, that was two seasons ago. He sighed thinking about what the vermin had said when they had left him to die;
" 'Ya an't gonna last long ya little brat, but we kn'w that, so that's why we leavin' ye to see your family aga'n."

"bréaga álainn.*" he said getting up, and said to the moon as his witness
"Ach Ní raibh mé bás!**"
Then hearing a twig snapping he turned around.
                                                        *
Corin had packed his bag and was just about to walk off in to the darkness when he heard a voice.
"Corin!Wait!"
He turned around to see rigon and Fariss standing with cloaks and food packs in their hand
"we're coming with you!"
They said together.



*this song is an Irish folk song. I own not of this, I only use  in the best fitting way I see in this book.(I also changed the words so it would said more like a hare song. even though I picked it because it sound like one...I changed the 'man' parts to 'beast' or pretends /pasterns as needed. and change ninety-eight to salamandastron and so on and so forth...DX)


*beautiful lies
**but I didn't die!

awsome!!!!

thanks! glad you like it.^.^

Quote from: phoenixfoden on September 21, 2012, 05:15:26 AM
awsome!!!!

Cool!

 2       
Wellcane paced impatiently. Where had that Seer got to? He looked up as his wife walked past with a young vixen named Kei. Kei was not born into the horde, having been a gentle healer in the past. The young vixen was suprisingly reluctant to join in the traditional activities; even now, she never took part in the fights and killing raids. Silneow the vixen took immediately to Kei; the healer reminded her of her lost son...the unnamed cub, drowned by now. And I was the one who killed him! The thought was enough to make her weep at night sometimes.
Wellcane growled at them. "Vixen! Where is my Seer?"
Silneow stared him coolly in the eyes. "I know nought. She is your Seer, Lord." The last word was more a mocking taunt than a formal title.
Wellcane stalked off in a foul mood. The nerve of that vixen! He hadn't the time to deal with her now, though. He spotted the Seer coming from the outer fringe of the woodlands to the southwest and confronted her. "Where have you been?" he snarled nastily.
The Seer bowed hastily. "Lord, I have had a sign. Methinks trouble is brewing, sire."
Wellcane raised an eyebrow suspiciously. "What kind of trouble?"
"I know nought, Lord. I have seen the omens, though."
He leaned closer, eager. "What do they tell you?"
The Seer cast her stones.

"The secret lies with black, the pen and knife the key,
the one who knows the green will be satisfied.
the one with ink will find her heart's desire,
if the omens have not lied.
The tale is undone,
the chosen one has come."

                                                      *
Corin the fox watched the Abbey and sighed.There was no way that an Abbeybeast, let alone a Skipper of otters, was going to let him in. He was a fox, after all. So how was he meant to get in without using force?

                                                      *
Farris the young mouse was walking along the battlements. He looked at the woods and froze in shock. Was that...Corin?


There you have it, sorry I took so long!

thanks! i'm starting cap 8  today

@moss; thanks for editing cap 2 ^.^

Quote from: Redwaller on September 22, 2012, 02:08:29 AM
Cool!

No probs, I'll get busy on 3 now!

3
Farris stared in amazement. Corin...here at the Abbey? Corin gazed upwards, narrowing his eyes. He stepped closer, and said quietly, "Farris? Is that you?"
Farris gave a rare grin. He looked like a Dibbun excited for a candied chestnut. "Corin...brother?"
Corin smile back at his adopted brother. "I promised I'd come back, Farris, and I did."

                                                    *
Kei and Silneow paced around the camp, quietly discussing herbs.

                                                    *
Farris nodded, supressing another wide smile. "I know. You never break a promise." He looked around shiftily. "You'd better hide before Skipper or Rinson see you."
Corin nodded slightly and melted back into the shadows. He was just in time, too. Breeze the squirrelmaid and Mother Abbess Mitreeo came walking along the walkway. Mitreeo nodded to Farris. "Good evening, Farris. Out for a stroll, I see?"
Farris looked guiltily at the spot where Corin had been. "Erm...Yes, Mother Abbess...I think I'll...ah...go help down in the kitchens, so...umm...goodbye!" Farris stepped around them and ran down into the Abbey.
Abbess Mitreeo stared at the door where Farris had disappeared. She shook her head with a weary sigh. "That young mouse...I never understood why he never speaks of his past.
Breeze nodded, almost sympathetically. "I'm sure he has his reasons, though, Mother Abbess."
The Abbess smiled kindly. "You have a head on your young shoulders, Breeze. I'm sure you're right."
The continued their stroll, unaware of Corin lurking in the shadows.

                                               *
Farris scrubbed furiously at a pot in the kitchens. Corin, here? The last time he had seen his 'older brother' was when he was a Dibbun. Corin had brought him to the Abbey after his parents had died of dry-ditch fever. Corin was only two seasons older than Farris, but he was quiet, calm and wise beyond his seasons. He had told Farris to never speak of his past before he left him to a new life. For his 'brother' was a fox, a vermin, and vermin could never dwell in peace with woodlanders.

                                                  *
Corin stared into a pool of water near the wall, gathered from previous rainfall. The surface rippled as a tear fell from the fox's eye, trickled down his face and splashed into the pool with a plop! He had abandoned his adopted brother. He had left him to become a goodbeast, a chance the fox could never have himself. But what would his 'little brother' do when he learned that all vermin were supposedly evil? Would he become a warrior and set out to slay them all?
The fox had broken a promise to his adopted parents...but he had kept one to Farris. He had come back.


There you go, hope it's good!

more!!!!

okay, right noe i'm takin a break but i'll write more soon ^.^)

Quote from: phoenixfoden on September 24, 2012, 11:03:10 PM
more!!!!

Thanks moss-sama, as always good job  :D ) 

Quote from: WarriorOfMossflower on September 23, 2012, 04:35:34 PM
           3
Farris stared in amazement. Corin...here at the Abbey? Corin gazed upwards, narrowing his eyes. He stepped closer, and said quietly, "Farris? Is that you?"
Farris gave a rare grin. He looked like a Dibbun excited for a candied chestnut. "Corin...brother?"
Corin smile back at his adopted brother. "I promised I'd come back, Farris, and I did."

                                                    *
Kei and Silneow paced around the camp, quietly discussing herbs.

                                                    *
Farris nodded, supressing another wide smile. "I know. You never break a promise." He looked around shiftily. "You'd better hide before Skipper or Rinson see you."
Corin nodded slightly and melted back into the shadows. He was just in time, too. Breeze the squirrelmaid and Mother Abbess Mitreeo came walking along the walkway. Mitreeo nodded to Farris. "Good evening, Farris. Out for a stroll, I see?"
Farris looked guiltily at the spot where Corin had been. "Erm...Yes, Mother Abbess...I think I'll...ah...go help down in the kitchens, so...umm...goodbye!" Farris stepped around them and ran down into the Abbey.
Abbess Mitreeo stared at the door where Farris had disappeared. She shook her head with a weary sigh. "That young mouse...I never understood why he never speaks of his past.
Breeze nodded, almost sympathetically. "I'm sure he has his reasons, though, Mother Abbess."
The Abbess smiled kindly. "You have a head on your young shoulders, Breeze. I'm sure you're right."
The continued their stroll, unaware of Corin lurking in the shadows.

                                               *
Farris scrubbed furiously at a pot in the kitchens. Corin, here? The last time he had seen his 'older brother' was when he was a Dibbun. Corin had brought him to the Abbey after his parents had died of dry-ditch fever. Corin was only two seasons older than Farris, but he was quiet, calm and wise beyond his seasons. He had told Farris to never speak of his past before he left him to a new life. For his 'brother' was a fox, a vermin, and vermin could never dwell in peace with woodlanders.

                                                  *
Corin stared into a pool of water near the wall, gathered from previous rainfall. The surface rippled as a tear fell from the fox's eye, trickled down his face and splashed into the pool with a plop! He had abandoned his adopted brother. He had left him to become a goodbeast, a chance the fox could never have himself. But what would his 'little brother' do when he learned that all vermin were supposedly evil? Would he become a warrior and set out to slay them all?
The fox had broken a promise to his adopted parents...but he had kept one to Farris. He had come back.


There you go, hope it's good!

Sorry, I've been on vacation and I just got back. I'll do Chapter 4 now

 4
The night was cold, windy, and rainy. The horde of Wellcane the Warlord sat in the rain stoically. The Warlord was in a foul mood, having been set back three days from marching west into the Mossflower Woodlands. He walked into his tent, glad that it was warm and dry. The Seer Runso came and joined him. "Lord, the horde is saying ye need to leave this sea. They want ye to go into the woodlands."
Wellcane spun around so fast he almost lost his balance (which didn't improve his temper in the slightest) and bellowed, "Do you think I care about what vermin say?!" He glared at Runso furiously. "Well, do you?!"
The Seer made an attempt to soothe the Warlord's ruffled fur. "Aye, Lord. Meknow that thou doest not care about such puny beasts, but methinks ye should know...Ratwrath and Daggrabe are talking behind thine back. They say thou should go...forever..."
Wellcane stared at the Seer. "You mean they're planning to kill me."
Runso nodded sagely. "Aye, Lord, that they are."
Wellcane looked thoughtful. "Give them the best of grog and vittles."
"My Lord?"
"You heard me!" Wellcane barked. He took a deep breath and explained patiently. "If they're stuffed with grog then what will happen, eh?" A wicked smile curled the corners of his lips.
The Seer, realising the Warlord's plan, also smiled. "They sleep like logs, Lord. Aye, and then thou can kill them thyself!"
Wellcane pulled out his battle axe and tested the blade against his paw. His eyes gleamed maliciously. "Aye. Brilliant."
                                                         *
The Abbey walls were hot to the touch as the sun beat down on the heads of Farris, Breeze, and a young squirrel named Rigontoson, who happened to be Farris's best friend. Grrbee the mole was also there. They walked up and down the lawn, helping with the outdoor chores. Farris and Rigon helped with setting up the stacks in the vegetable garden to keep out the wind. Breeze helped Foremole Burrto with gather herbs for Sister Gail, the Infirmary Keeper. Grrbee and some other moles dug a tunnel to filter the water from the rains to the vegetable garden. Some other Abbeybeast walked back to the Abbey for refreshments, bustling in and out with scones and tea, while others set out tables with silverware and plates. All was going well...for now.

                                                           *
Wellcane watched impassively as Ratwrath and Daggrabe gulped down grog and stuffed their mouths with the food. Ratwrath hiccupped. "Thankee Lord--hic!--'tis prime grog--hic!"
Wellcane grinned wolfishly from behind his axeblade. He held the doubled-headed battle-axe fondly, anticipating its job. "Aye matey. Prime grog. And the last you'll ever taste!" The Warlord lifted the axe high above his head and brought the blade down with devastating efficiency.

thanks moss-sama~! ^^]
I think i'm good, now BD you're a great editor ^^ thanks again.)

(Now i guess i'll finish writing cap 3 of the 'victim' ... XD)

Happy to help.

Hey guys, i just wanted to say that the writing of cap 8 may be delayed, due to my laptop acting very weird, now I only have this black screen with a flashing grey line ;~; sorry guys, i'm trying to fix it,so yeah..)

Aww, well, I'll keep editting.

wow. the drawing is so cool!!

5       
Daggrabe stared in confusion at the severed head of Ratwrath lying on the ground. He took in the Warlord's cruel smile and began babbling like a brook. "Lord, please no! I wuzzint never tryin' to slay ye, on me oath, Sire. 'Twas all Wrathrat's idea...d-don't slay meeeee!" he wailed, his speech slurred by grog.
Wellcane winked slyly. "Now there, mate, no more blabbing. I ain't gonna slay ye."
Daggrabe stared blankly at him. "Y-ye ain't, Lurd?"
The Warlord grinned fiendishly. "No, my friend, I'm gonna skin ya!" he roared.
Daggrabe gave an agonized wail and flung himself facedown before the Warlord, which was probably not a wise move. "Nooooo! I do wuddever ye want, don't not skin me!"
Wellcane the Warlord had no mercy for drunken fools, though.

                                                           *
Farris and Rigon worked steadily, chopping the logs of wood towering next to the Abbey. Farris wiped his brow and blew a droplet of sweat from his nosetip. "Whew! D'you think this is enough, Rigon?"
Rigontoson, to give the squirrel his full name, nodded in agreement. "Anymore and we'll be eating wood for supper!"
Farris smiled. "Right. Then let's get it to the kitchens for Friar Thomas."
It took the young mouse and squirrel five trips to carry all the wood they had chopped down to the kitchens. Rigon deposited his load in the pile and staggered against the door, managing to knock. Both creatures were panting from exertion.
A kindly old molewife opened the doors. "Burr aye! That bees yung Farrees an' Rig'um! How bees you'm two scallawagglers?"
"Hungry and exhausted," Rigon managed.
Farris smiled weakly. "Exactly. We brought the wood for Friar Thomas."
The old molewife nodded sagely. "Hurr, then you'm coom in."

Inside, Friar Thomas bustled about busily. He glanced at the young wood-deliverers. "Great seasons, you two, you've brought enough to burn the Abbey down! I'm afraid I'll have to have you carry it all down to the Cellars." He paused, taking in their weary expressions. "Ah, never mind, I'll have some otherbeasts do it. You look tired."
                                                         *
The sun shone hard on the head of Corin the black fox, who, inspite of the sun, patiently watched Redwall Abbey. Really, he felt like he was set on fire because of the heat his black coat absorbed, and his handsome face was set in a tight frown. A nat landed on his ear, but he never bat an eyelid. The fox murmured to himself, "Two days, and nothing. I'll have to leave here if Farris doesn't decide soon. I'm not supposed to be here, anyway..." He sighed. "Maybe I'll just leave. Farris seems fine here..." He blinked, fighting tears. "...without me." 

                                                     *
Wellcane walked away from the lifeless body of Daggrabe, still smiling. He relished the screams of his victim, even after the vermin was long-dead from his torture. The Seer Runso approached cautiously, wary while the Warlord still held the dripping axe. He turned on her. "Get that useless thing out of my sight, and fetch me some vittles while you're at it."
The Seer bowed and scuttled away, dragging the body of Daggrabe behind her.
The Warlord smiled to himself again. Things were going just the way he planned...soon, the vermin would march into Mossflower Woods.

Woah! Xd i like the way you edited this cap, and i really like the part about corin  X3)

Umm..on second thought, would you mind editing this for me too, mosss-sama...? ^^' )

Quote from: WarriorOfMossflower on September 12, 2012, 03:14:19 AM

Quote from: Captain Rake Nightfur on September 11, 2012, 02:50:54 PM
also rinson is the quiet type...o!and i want to know  what you thought of a poem I made up for cap 8, I made it up pretty quick(3 minute) so it's probably not great but I just want t know what you think.

The world will be one with the sky's,
As the sun slips through tired gales
I wait here alone for  dear friends,
Now gone away from me,
As my tired body grows old, and my history unfolds
I see their faces clear as day, ands wish that I could join them some day.
I feel my time has come, to sat down this pen,
And lay back to see my dear friends
~ recorder glof in the time of abbot shon


R.I.P. )

Acknowledged. I'll make sure he sounds quieter in following chapters.

As for the poem, I like the poem as a whole, but it could be made to flow a little better. I can edit it a little bit if you want. It was made quickly, so that's understandable.
(No offense.)

Quote from: Captain Rake Nightfur on October 12, 2012, 11:00:25 PM
Woah! Xd i like the way you edited this cap, and i really like the part about corin  X3)

Corin somehow strikes me as charismatic. Don't know why. I like writing about him. So, my crushes are lining up as a boy from school, a country (England, from Hetalia), Corin, Martin the Warrior, etc.  :-[
*sighs* What is wrong with me? xD

The world will be one with the skies,
As the sun slips through tired gails,
I wait here alone for the dear friends who tell no lies,
Now gone from me, my spirit fails.
As my tired body grows old,
and my history unfolds,
I see their faces as clear as day,
I wish I could join them somehow, some way,
I feel my time has come,
to set down the pen,
and journey away,
to see my old friends.
~Recorder Glof in the time of Abbot Shon


Hope you like it!

Quote from: WarriorOfMossflower on October 13, 2012, 03:36:08 AM

Quote from: Captain Rake Nightfur on October 12, 2012, 11:00:25 PM
Woah! Xd i like the way you edited this cap, and i really like the part about corin  X3)

Corin somehow strikes me as charismatic. Don't know why. I like writing about him. So, my crushes are lining up as a boy from school, a country (England, from Hetalia), Corin, Martin the Warrior, etc.  :-[
*sighs* What is wrong with me? xD

O.O Ooo..really? X3 his based on my older brother and my dad, XD and i don't know moss, o-o i just don't know XD rofl And for your sake moss-sama, i'll give corin a larger cap time in cap 8 :3 )

Quote from: WarriorOfMossflower on October 13, 2012, 03:41:37 AM
The world will be one with the skies,
As the sun slips through tired gails,
I wait here alone for the dear friends who tell no lies,
Now gone from me, my spirit fails.
As my tired body grows old,
and my history unfolds,
I see their faces as clear as day,
I wish I could join them somehow, some way,
I feel my time has come,
to set down the pen,
and journey away,
to see my old friends.
~Recorder Glof in the time of Abbot Shon


Hope you like it!

Yay!i like it. :3 thanks!)

Quote from: Captain Rake Nightfur on October 13, 2012, 07:39:23 PM

Quote from: WarriorOfMossflower on October 13, 2012, 03:36:08 AM

Quote from: Captain Rake Nightfur on October 12, 2012, 11:00:25 PM
Woah! Xd i like the way you edited this cap, and i really like the part about corin  X3)

Corin somehow strikes me as charismatic. Don't know why. I like writing about him. So, my crushes are lining up as a boy from school, a country (England, from Hetalia), Corin, Martin the Warrior, etc.  :-[
*sighs* What is wrong with me? xD

O.O Ooo..really? X3 his based on my older brother and my dad, XD and i don't know moss, o-o i just don't know XD rofl And for your sake moss-sama, i'll give corin a larger cap time in cap 8 :3 )

K, thanks! Corin's awesome.

Quote from: Captain Rake Nightfur on October 13, 2012, 07:40:46 PM

Quote from: WarriorOfMossflower on October 13, 2012, 03:41:37 AM
The world will be one with the skies,
As the sun slips through tired gails,
I wait here alone for the dear friends who tell no lies,
Now gone from me, my spirit fails.
As my tired body grows old,
and my history unfolds,
I see their faces as clear as day,
I wish I could join them somehow, some way,
I feel my time has come,
to set down the pen,
and journey away,
to see my old friends.
~Recorder Glof in the time of Abbot Shon


Hope you like it!

Yay!i like it. :3 thanks!)

no prob

 
6

Outside, the sun shone brightly. However, inside the Warlord's tent, a storm was brewing.
"Lost?! LOST?!" Wellcane shrieked. "Off track? You pickle-pawed bottle-nosed lily-livered excuse for a Seer!"
The Seer cowered as the Warlord vented his spleen on her.
"I should skin you alive like I did that rat!" he snarled.
"Lord..." the Seer began placatingly.
"'Lord' nothing!" Wellcane snapped, raising his axe threateningly.
"But my Lord," Runso ventured, her sly mind turning furtively in an effort to mend the problem at hand. "I have recieved an omen."
Wellcane paused in his tirade, staring at her.
                                                                       
                                                           *

Unknown to the Warlord, two figures were observing the camp.
A young hare with sandy-coloured fur chuckled. "Hmph! Well bucko, looks like we've got a spot o' vermin on the bloomin' offensive, wot!"
His companion, a lean, sharp-eyed Galloper, smiled dryly in agreement. He spoke with a thick highland brogue, "Aye, mate, and Ah bet mah auntie's pinnafore that his Lordship Ironclaw will be pleased tae see 'em."
"Pleased ye say, Raketam? I think his paws will burst his flippin' boots, wot wot!"
Raketam shifted restlessly, an insane battle light glittering in his eyes. "Well then, let's gae tae tell him, shall we?"
The sandy hare nodded. "Right-o, chap!"

                                                         *

Farris and Rigon had their heads close together, whispering and laughing quietly. The kitchen door flew open as a young otter with a roguish grin on his face raced out. Friar Thomas came puffing after him, waving a ladle. "You young rip! Give me back my scones and tea!"
The otter, Aden, winked at the Friar. Farris and Rigon tried to hide their smiles.
"Sorry," Aden spread his paws innocently, gazing sorrowfully at the mouse-cook. "I ate them. But I'll tell you what; I'll help you in the kitchen all day, hmm?"
The Friar shook his head in mock despair. "You'll eat the Abbey out of house and home!"
Aden looked hurt. "Well then, sorry I couldn't be of help!" With a sly wink towards Farris and Rigon, he snatched the final scone that Friar Thomas was holding and fled.
Farris and Rigon burst out laughing when both creatures had gone.

                                                       *

Corin sighed sadly. This was depressing. "Well," he commented drearily to a dove. "It looks like I'll be leaving here soon..."
The dove clucked, almost disappointedly, and took to the air. Corin sighed again. Was Farris somewhere in the Abbey, enjoying his time with his friends? Corin couldn't relate to that feeling. He was an outcast.

Here ya go! 

thanks~!^^ ]

Working on cap 8 )

7
The heat was deafening, and so were the many voices.
"Why you little...what do you think you're doing?! Mind your step."
Farris, Rigon, and Aden the otter were having a bit of a row with an ill-tempered mouse called Ailen. Farris had been walking and had bumped into Ailen. Rigon and Aden had been on their way to the Cellars to get some cooking cider from Eadu Longspike the Cellarhog.
Farris stood, arms crossed, trying to keep his temper in check. "I didn't see you. Very sorry, sir."
"Unacceptable!" Ailen stomped a foot. "And was that sarcasm?"
Aden decided it was time to step in. "Look--"
The mouse turned and snapped, "Back off, riverdog!"
Mother Abbess Mitreeo presently was walking down the tunnel of flowing rose that the Gardener had lovingly put up. The red, white, and yellow flowers were draped all over, some fallen on the ground to make a lovely carpet. The few thorns were like tiny swords, protecting the roses from enemies, Mitreeo often reflected.
The Abbess sighed in despair as she picked up a fallen rose. It was pink and delicate, but it had been relieved of its stem by somebeast. "I must tell the Dibbuns to stop doing that," she mused to herself. Then, hearing the shouts of the argument, she glided gracefully over to see what was going on.

                                                          *

The hare Raketam and a large group of hares were sitting in the mess hall at Salamandastron. The hares were chatting, singing, ravenously attacking food, throwing food, and generally acting like hares. Many began calling for Raketam to sing an old Highland ballad. Raketam, after a few prods from his friend, willingly obliged and began in a strong, clear voice. His comrades joined in on the choruses, and, to the delight of the younger hares, Raketam did a classic river dance in time to the music, never once missing a beat. The older hares, having heard the ballad before, played flutes, drums, and horn pipes to the tune.


"*Oh then, tell mah Seán O'Farrell, tell mah why you hurry so?
"Hush a bhuachaill, hush and listen", an' his cheeks were all aglow,
"I bear orders from the cap'n:- get yer ready quick an' soon
For the pikes must be together by the rising o' the moon!"
By the rising o' the moon, by the rising o' the moon,

For the pikes must be together by the rising o' the moon

"An' come tell mah Seán O'Farrell where the gath'rin' is tae be?"
"In the old spot by the river, right well known tae ye and mah.
One more word for signal token:- whistle out the marchin' tune,
With yer pike upon yer shoulder, by the rising o' the moon."
By the rising o' the moon, by the rising o' the moon
With yer pike upon yer shoulder, by the rising o'  the moon.

Out from many a mud wall cabin eyes were watching through the night,
Many a beastly chest was throbbin', for the blessed morning light.
Murmurs ran along the valleys like the banshee's lonely croon
And a thousand pikes were flashin' at the rising o' the moon.
At the rising o' the moon, at the rising o' the moon.
And a thousand pikes were flashin' by the rising o' the moon.

There beside the singin' river that black mass of warriors was seen,
High above their shining weapons flew their own beloved green.
"Death tae every foe an' traitor! Forward strike the marchin' tune."
And hurrah my boys for freedom; 'tis the rising of the moon".
Tis the rising of the moon, 'tis the rising o' the moon
And hurrah mah boys for freedom; 'Tis the risin' o' the moon".

Well they fought for the poor old highlands , and full bitter was our fate,
Oh what glorious pride and sorrow, fills the name of ninety-eight!
Yet, thank goodness, e'en still are beating hearts in warriorhood burning noon,
Who would follow in their footsteps, at the rising of the moon
At the rising of the moon, At the rising of the moon
Who would follow in their footsteps, at the risin' o' the moon."

After the clapping and back-slapping was finished, Raketam and the other hare, Sandbuck Longsite, walked slowly up to the forge chamber. Both young hares waited a moment before knocking and coughing to make sure they were heard.
A loud, booming voice replied,
"Who is it?"
Raketam stood straight and tall as he barked out, "Eastern gallopers an' trackers reportin', sir!"
There was a pause, then;
"Come in."
The two young hares walked in and looked around. They had entered the realm of the Badger Lords; weapons and shields adorned the walls, next to coats of armor made from the hardest metals. Greatest of all, though, was Lord Ironclaw Grimrip himself. Standing taller than the hares' long ears, he was a formidable figure with dark brown eyes and a scar running across his shoulder blades. The long mark had no doubt been earned in some great battle. The young hares couldn't help but gaze in awe of this strong and wise creature.
Ironclaw looked down at them and the smallest hint of a smile played on his lips. "Well? Do you plan to stand there gaping all day?"
Both hares immediately jumped to attention.
Ironclaw chuckled, then his face grew serious once more. "Right, what is the news?"
Raketam and Sandbuck exchanged glances.
"Well, sir..." began the tall Highland hare. "Ye ken, it was fine until we got tae the high dunes down a pace from the northeast, there was a little surprise there awaitin' us, sir."
The Badger Lord eyed the hare and raised an eyebrow. "Go on."
"Vermin. 'Twas vermin, sir."
The badger's eyes lit up momentarily. "Vermin?"
"Aye, sir."
Ironclaw paced over to the window seat and looked out at the amber-tinted sea. "Fetch Captain Sean, and Major Crunsbort."

                                                      *
After Raketam told the officers, he walked to a ledge outside the fort and sat gazing wistfully at the full, reddish-tinted moon.
"Nobeast can take yer mem'ries from ye, nae matter how hard they try," he quoted, watching the stars peep out from their hiding places and take their place in the sky. As the sea lapped on the shore and a small crab waddled over the sands, Raketam's thoughts drifted to the past.
He had come from an old family of rulers over the mountains, and the vermin had come in the sixth season of his life. They took away everything he held dear and left him to die in the freezing snows, but hope springs anew if one trusts fate. And that had been the case with the small hare; he had been found by an elderly female hare named Densee. Densee had clothed him, fed him, and cared for him as long as he could remember. Alas, she died when he was twelve seasons old, and with great sorrow he had buried the old hare in a quiet glade.
So Raketam left the Highlands, taking the last reminder of his heritage; a beautiful sword forged by his grandfather. Along the way he had met vermin and woodland creatures, and even saved a family of bankvoles that had given him a cloak and food. He travelled farther until he ended up at Salamandastron at the age of thirteen seasons, but that had been two seasons ago.
Raketam sighed, recalling what the vermin had said when they left him to die;
"Ya ain't gonna last long, little brat, but we knew that, so that's why we're leavin' ye t'see yer family ag'in."


"bréaga álainn.*" He muttered, standing up and saying to his witness, the moon. "Ach Ní raibh mé bás!**"
He whirled around at the snap of a twig.
                                                         *
Corin had packed a haversack and was ready to set off into the darkness. He stopped as he heard a voice.
"Corin! Wait!"
He turned around, green eyes wide, to see Rigon and Farris standing with cloaks and food packs in their paws.
"We're coming with you!" they chimed together.


*this song is an Irish folk song. I own not of this, I only use  in the best fitting way I see in this book.(I also changed the words so it would said more like a hare song. even though I picked it because it sound like one...I changed the 'man' parts to 'beast' or pretends /pasterns as needed. and change ninety-eight to salamandastron and so on and so forth...DX)


*beautiful lies
**but I didn't die!

Warrior's Note: By the way, I really like The Rising of the Moon, and I think Rake did great with that part, so I did not edit anything in that song.

Quote from: WarriorOfMossflower on October 26, 2012, 02:14:22 AM

Warrior's Note: By the way, I really like The Rising of the Moon, and I think Rake did great with that part, so I did not edit anything in that song.

Okay ^^ thanks)

Quote from: Captain Rake Nightfur on October 26, 2012, 11:19:00 PM

Quote from: WarriorOfMossflower on October 26, 2012, 02:14:22 AM

Warrior's Note: By the way, I really like The Rising of the Moon, and I think Rake did great with that part, so I did not edit anything in that song.

Okay ^^ thanks)

No prob, how goes Chapter 8?

Quote from: WarriorOfMossflower on October 27, 2012, 01:16:25 AM

Quote from: Captain Rake Nightfur on October 26, 2012, 11:19:00 PM

Quote from: WarriorOfMossflower on October 26, 2012, 02:14:22 AM

Warrior's Note: By the way, I really like The Rising of the Moon, and I think Rake did great with that part, so I did not edit anything in that song.

Okay ^^ thanks)

DX Not good, I have the worse writers blocks ever on earth...DX Oh,well, I'm working on it., but for today and tomorrow I'm taking a break.)
No prob, how goes Chapter 8?

Sorry guys I'm having Writing blocks T.T So I haven't finished cap 8, Dx I'll try t get it up by Saturday.)

Okay, super sorry guys, but I've been busy. DX But I'm writing cap 8 right now, should be out in about 2 days.

Quote from: Captain Rake Nightfur on February 19, 2013, 03:45:45 PM
Okay, super sorry guys, but I've been busy. DX But I'm writing cap 8 right now, should be out in about 2 days.

I'll be ready to edit anytime you call.