Alright y'all, listen up now! I'm only gonna say this once. My name's Hayes, an' I'm the new boss in these parts. Now, I un'erstand that you lot 've gotten used to a certain, ah,
administration runnin' the joint. An' I ain't one to point fingers, but those podges had gotten' fat off the land. Frankly, I think you'll like having me 'round a lot better.
So what happens now? I'll tell ye what, not the same-ole-same-ole. That much's fer sure. This here is a new beginning for the forum, and to hellgates with the old 'un! From now on, you'll post in boards I say you can post in. You do it when I want, an' how I want. It's time we get a
reeeaal boss in town - an' I'm that boss!
Your First Decision
You as members of the community will play roles in this final story. You are faced with a choice of either freeing the member boards one-by-one through problem solving, or taking a seat under Boss Hayes' new rule.
A shudder forms up your spine and a guiding voice, silently and seemingly from nowhere, whispers to each of you: Boss Hayes mentioned a new beginning for the forum. It's obvious he's trying to wipe away the old forum as it was. So ask yourself: where was the very beginning of the forum? It's got to be somewhere in the boards we have access to... Maybe look there?
*Is mildly confused about how we would like him better.*
Quote from: Verdauga on March 15, 2020, 06:10:58 PM
*Is mildly confused about how we would like him better.*
What's this face now? Ye dumb, lad? Ain't ever seen
real authority, have ye?
Fine then, from now on, I'm callin' ye dumbo. Ye like that, Dumbo?
Plz no
*Grabs popcorn* Oh this is gonna be good.
Think yer a clever lot fer findin' the key to the cellars? I
wanted that to happen. Post in there all ye want - I'm a reasonable Snake!
But don't yew go wanderin' off elsewhere, ye hear!where the first key was
@Booklover found the first key at the very beginning of the forum (http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=2.0)
We're searching for key #2 now!
Where's anywhere else?
How long does this event last for?
Disgraced Mod's edit: Whether you guys win or lose the event, it will be over by mid-week.
Quote from: 'Dumbo' (according to Boss Hayes) on March 15, 2020, 06:43:03 PM
Where's anywhere else?
Don't play smart with me, Dumbo! I'll have yer guts fer garters!
Quote from: Booklover on March 15, 2020, 06:49:39 PM
How long does this event last for?
An' yew! I know you ain't dumb as Dumbo over there, so why yew askin' questions like this, huh? Well I tell ye what, this rule ain't something that 'll be
over by mid-week. Ho-oh no! I'm here t' stay!
where the second key was
@Booklover found the First mention of death-defying beavers (http://www.redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=16.msg5513#msg5513)
We're searching for key #3 now!
is this a joke?....if not, I'm worried for the forum...
Disgraced Mod's edit: this is a forum event - feel free to play along!
Y-y-you don't want my guts! They're delicate!
It makes me sad that I'm being called away from the computer. Happy hunting, y'all! I'll catch up with you as soon as I return!
*Waves goodbye.*
Quote from: Cornflower MM on March 15, 2020, 07:21:20 PM
It makes me sad that I'm being called away from the computer. Happy hunting, y'all! I'll catch up with you as soon as I return!
SCRAM!
Quote from: lass of something much on March 15, 2020, 07:04:16 PM
is this a joke?....if not, I'm worried for the forum...
Heh, heh, don't be worried, lass. I run a tight operation; you can expect no nonsense from now on. The forum's never been in a better set o' scales than this!
where the third key was
@Cornflower MM found the third key Deep in the 'other works' board (http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=483.45) (scroll down a bit)
We're searching for key #4 now!
There's plenty of sense in nonsense sometimes, if you wish to look for it.
Ah, seems I was a bit late for the third key. Had to eat dinner first, and only got away by saying I'd do some maths practice (which, in fairness, I did do, eventually). Don't know whether I'll be on tomorrow or Tuesday, and if so, it won't be for long.
I don't like this new boss.
C-C-careful! He'll nickname you!
As he did to poor Dumbo.
He might give me a fake name, but it won't define me. I will not bow to unelected authority.
Quote from: Booklover on March 15, 2020, 07:56:56 PM
As he did to poor Dumbo.
YEW ESPECIALLY NEED T' BE QUIET! Y'all 've been quite a nuisance t' me, an' I've only been here fer a few hours! Give ole Hayes a chance, eh?
Quote from: The Skarzs on March 15, 2020, 07:59:22 PM
He might give me a fake name, but it won't define me. I will not bow to unelected authority.
Ah, we got a seasoned fellow here don't we! Now I un'erstand that change can be offputtin', but you'll come 'round soon enough. How'd yew like t' be deputy t' Boss Hayes?
where the fourth and fifth keys were
@Booklover and @Verdauga found the fourth and fifth keys behind The hidden portrait (http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=10019.45#quickreply)
We found two keys here. We're searching for key #6 now!
*Sees topic title* Interesting... *Reads posts* Interesting...
Quote from: The Skarzs on March 15, 2020, 07:59:22 PM
He might give me a fake name, but it won't define me. I will not bow to unelected authority.
Same here, bro. XD
I guess I'll say this here? 🔐 (RP Boards)
📜 (and a... note?)
The key looks like it fits the lock for the RP board but it won't budge when you try it. There's a note with it that reads... Tell the community you found the key, but there's an extra step. Recommend a few fan fictions for the Recorder on the Wall Podcast to review (and possibly tease and poke holes in). The lock will give with a small group's input.
Well I gotta go. Bye!
I'm glad I didn't miss too much. Congrats, Booklover and Verdauga/Dumbo!
Who are you, and what are you doing to the forum
Quote from: One-Eye the wildcat on March 15, 2020, 08:37:40 PM
Who are you, and what are you doing to the forum
Who am I? Hah! I'm the new Boss, dintchya hear?! Pipe down now, yer botherin' me. *he spits; a spittoon in the corner give a
ring*
where the sixth key was
Verdauga found the sixth key With the help of other forum members (http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=10104.90)
In finding this key, the forum members accidentally found themselves in an ambush! (http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=11390.msg0#new)
So you have chosen... death
Quote from: 'Chose Death' (according to Boss Hayes) on March 15, 2020, 08:49:18 PM
So you have chosen... death
*Boss Hayes slithers close* Have I, now? I wouldn't be so sure, heh, heh, heh, heh!
I think I like this new boss.
@One-Eye the wildcat look what he has done...
This is highly entertaining.
Quote from: shisteer of nothing much on March 15, 2020, 09:29:08 PM
I think I like this new boss.
"Aaaahhh, finally somebeast with some sense in them! Well, let me tell ye somethin' buddy." A heavy coil wrapped itself about
@shisteer of nothing much 's shoulder and pulled her close. Boss Hayes' forked tongue flicked in and out by her ear. "
If you really feel that way - don't mind the new 'ministration that is - then I jus' have one thing to tell ye: STOP GETTIN' IN MY WAY!!! (http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=11390.msg735425#msg735425)"
It's funny because I know you are not human, Boss. You're a program, aren't you?
Humph. Maybe this new guy isn't so great after all. First impressions were good but... humph. *walks out, sulking*
*Continues to munch on popcorn* Man, this is great. I mean, the new guy is awful but otherwise this is fun. :D
*calls from outside* I'm gonna go kill some lizards.
I just realized, Boss has a bowler hat.
Awesome.
Quote from: shisteer of nothing much on March 15, 2020, 10:07:51 PM
Humph. Maybe this new guy isn't so great after all. First impressions were good but... humph. *walks out, sulking*
Quote from: Cornflower MM on March 15, 2020, 10:15:20 PM
...the new guy is awful but otherwise this is fun. :D
WELL YOU'RE NOT EXACTLY A PERFECT BUNCH, EITHER! Argh! Y'all need t' shut up now. I've got changes t' make. What's this nameday stuff I see now? I don't like it: Spring o' the Broken Willow (http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=11384.msg731203#msg731203), what in the name o' blood n' thunder is that supposed t' mean @kade? From now on, the season is th' season o' Boss Hayes! I say so!
Ah, so Spring of the Broken Boss Hayes. I like it.
Aye. Ach, Ah ztep off ze forum fer a couple dayz, occazionally poztin' in ze Cellarz, und zen ziz 'appenz? Ach again...
Viz regardz tae ze namez, it remoindz me o' back on ze Vulpine Imperium vhere zey vid randomly change beaztz' namez tae zin'z loike Doth Mother Ken You're Wearin' 'er Curtainz or zummat loike zat.
Ah vote ve need tae rezizt ziz nev 'bozz'. Fer ze Republic!!! (Aye, Ah ken Ah've been playin' Ztar Varz Ze Auld Republic a vee bit. Gae back tae yer lightzabre trainin'!)
FOR NARNIA AND THE NORTH!!! *eats grapes*
Quote from: shisteer of nothing much on March 15, 2020, 10:41:00 PM
Ah, so Spring of the Broken Boss Hayes. I like it.
Quote from: shisteer of nothing much on March 16, 2020, 12:58:12 AM
FOR NARNIA AND THE NORTH!!! *eats grapes*
That's
TWO references to non-BJ fandoms now. There will not be a third!!!
man, every time I see "Tammo" I read it as tomato
Quote from: Boss Hayes on March 16, 2020, 01:07:36 AM
Quote from: shisteer of nothing much on March 15, 2020, 10:41:00 PM
Ah, so Spring of the Broken Boss Hayes. I like it.
Quote from: shisteer of nothing much on March 16, 2020, 12:58:12 AM
FOR NARNIA AND THE NORTH!!! *eats grapes*
That's TWO references to non-BJ fandoms now. There will not be a third!!!
One may be deceit. Two may be conspiracy. Three is the number I trust.
soo, why did you get rid of a bunch of bords?...
Evil is as evil does.
Quote from: shisteer of nothing much on March 16, 2020, 01:20:15 AM
Quote from: Boss Hayes on March 16, 2020, 01:07:36 AM
Quote from: shisteer of nothing much on March 15, 2020, 10:41:00 PM
Ah, so Spring of the Broken Boss Hayes. I like it.
Quote from: shisteer of nothing much on March 16, 2020, 12:58:12 AM
FOR NARNIA AND THE NORTH!!! *eats grapes*
That's TWO references to non-BJ fandoms now. There will not be a third!!!
One may be deceit. Two may be conspiracy. Three is the number I trust.
Exactly.
Actually, I'm amazed Boss Hays even recognises those as references.
Quote from: lass of something much on March 16, 2020, 04:28:19 AM
soo, why did you get rid of a bunch of bords?...
Locked 'em up fer a while. Bosses can do that if they want. Doesn't help that you lot 've been scrambling 'round like flies and picking up all the keys to unlock them...
Aw come on, I come online and this is what I see?
@Boss Hayes who do you think you are? Stupid time zones.
A Challenger Approaches!!
He's a psychopathic mental patient who somehow got his hands on administrator status.
Mr. Hayes, may I bribe you with a mug of fresh rhubarb brew? :)
Did you poison it? I think he poisoned it...
Quote from: DanielofRedwall on March 16, 2020, 12:29:49 PM
Aw come on, I come online and this is what I see? @Boss Hayes who do you think you are? Stupid time zones.
"Well I'll tell ye who I AINT: a disposed-of admin! Now I'm a respectable serpent, and as a respectable serpent, I would be willing to look over your outburst... given a condition, that is. You
used to be boss 'round here, so I expect that ye know the members better than I do."
Boss Hayes slithers closer to
@DanielofRedwall .
"You know where their loyalties lie. Who can be trusted an' who are the troublesome ones, so t' speak. So as one leader to a former 'un, I expect you t' tell me who is who, ye heat? Don't hafta be here with everybeast watching yew. Just send ole Hayes a PM an' I'll take care o' the rest. Whattaya say pardner?
Don't do it Daniel! Stay strong!
(Also
@DanielofRedwall )
Fer Gallifrey, 'ogwarts, und Alderaan!
Zere, zree referencez!
...Und ze Dolphinz! Zae lang, und zankz fer av ze Fizh! (Four!!!)
EDIT: Ah juzt Googled ze image fer Bozz Hayes. Tiz Rattlesnake Jake from ze film Rango in 2011. Ach...
Quote from: 'Exiled' (by Boss Hayes) on March 16, 2020, 04:24:38 PM
Fer Gallifrey, 'ogwarts, und Alderaan!
Zere, zree referencez!
...Und ze Dolphinz! Zae lang, und zankz fer av ze Fizh! (Four!!!)
That's 42 references too many! Consider yerself exiled, punk!
...Und eventually av o' ziz vill conclude viz ze follovin':
"Ve apologise fer ze inconvenience."
Let uz zee vho getz zat reference!!!
I do believe you have no idea who you are messing with, Hayes.
I don't think it's possible to truly exile Head. *shugs*
Old man Hayes, do you have any friends?
Quote from: 'Exiled' (by Boss Hayes) on March 16, 2020, 04:53:51 PM
...Und eventually av o' ziz vill conclude viz ze follovin':
"Ve apologise fer ze inconvenience."
Let uz zee vho getz zat reference!!!
God's final message to creation!
Quote from: Boss Hayes on March 16, 2020, 04:38:29 PM
That's 42 references too many! Consider yerself exiled, punk!
Can't be too bad if it contains the Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything.
Quote from: Boss Hayes on March 16, 2020, 04:38:29 PM
That's 42 references too many! Consider yerself exiled, punk!
You, uh... you referenced something other than Redwall there, friend.
Boss Hayes, who exactly are you? (My sweet brew is still available :))
*An 'erd o' Perfectly Normal Beaztz run trough*
Sooo, we all gona die now? ;D
Quote from: Boss Hayes on March 16, 2020, 04:38:29 PM
That's 42 references too many! Consider yerself exiled, punk!
I did more than three references. How come he gets to be exiled and I don't. Injustice, I call it!
Quote from: 'Chose Death' (according to Boss Hayes) on March 16, 2020, 05:03:13 PM
I do believe you have no idea who you are messing with, Hayes.
yer quite talkative fer a deadbeast aren't ye.
Quote from: Sheev Palpatine on March 16, 2020, 06:17:27 PM
Boss Hayes, who exactly are you? (My sweet brew is still available :))
Quote from: Kreg on March 16, 2020, 03:31:54 PM
Did you poison it? I think he poisoned it...
Boss Hayes is at @Sheev 's side in a flash, eyeing the tempting beverage. "Yew know, they say even if ye kill a rattlesnake, their body thrashes an' twists itself for several minutes after it's dead. A few even go so far as to say that the snake can still
strike at a foebeast if the muscles twitch jus' right, even if the head's been lopped off..."
Boss Hayes' coils wrap themselves gently around Sheev's shoulders and give a light, firm squeeze.
"Let's say I did drink yer cowboy coffee there, an' let's say it
were poison an' I died right 'ere. Well, th' way I'm positioned now, there's a good chance my long dead tail could still tighten itself about yer li'l neck an' squeeeeeze ye til yer blue in the face an' long gone from this world. Whattaya think o' that?"
Not waiting for an answer, Boss Hayes releases Sheev and slithers away from him, the cup of brew still untouched. "I ain't takin' nothin' from yew lot. You've given me nothing but nonsense so far! Now you'll have t' excuse me - I have a forum to run!"
most of the time the smily emoji is used for a friendly face or a "I'm trying to make pece with you" face, not an evil one.
Juzt dinnae mention zat 'orrible video oot on ze internet... Ye ken vhich vone Ah mean....
Quote from: lass of something much on March 16, 2020, 08:20:12 PM
most of the time the smily emoji is used for a friendly face or a "I'm trying to make pece with you" face, not an evil one.
When I read that the first time, I thought you said 'slimy emoji'.
Well, it is a very slimy emoji.
Here's a slimier one: 🐌
Thank you, Booklover.
Quote from: shisteer of nothing much on March 16, 2020, 08:26:21 PM
Quote from: lass of something much on March 16, 2020, 08:20:12 PM
most of the time the smily emoji is used for a friendly face or a "I'm trying to make pece with you" face, not an evil one.
When I read that the first time, I thought you said 'slimy emoji'.
I also thought this :laugh:
How!? also Hi ;D ;D ;D
There was a study by some university or something that said that it didn't matter what order the letters of a word were in, as long as the first and last are the same, as you can still read it.
For the most part, yeah. I've read paragraphs written like that, and didn't have much trouble.
But it's easier to write (especially when you have autocorrect on) correctly.
Quite so :laugh:
Quote from: Booklover on March 16, 2020, 08:52:52 PM
There was a study by some university or something that said that it didn't matter what order the letters of a word were in, as long as the first and last are the same, as you can still read it.
Yeah, that's fairly easy. There are also those things where they replace the letters with numbers and, apparently, if you can still read it, you are in a 1% minority and you are some kind of genius. I could read it but so could all my family and anyone else I asked, so I don't think it's true.
1t'5 3a54 3n0u9h.
Quote from: shisteer of nothing much on March 16, 2020, 09:04:24 PM
Quote from: Booklover on March 16, 2020, 08:52:52 PM
There was a study by some university or something that said that it didn't matter what order the letters of a word were in, as long as the first and last are the same, as you can still read it.
Yeah, that's fairly easy. There are also those things where they replace the letters with numbers and, apparently, if you can still read it, you are in a 1% minority and you are some kind of genius. I could read it but so could all my family and anyone else I asked, so I don't think it's true.
You shouldn't speak ill of your family like that :laugh:
Hayes, you're a strange one. :)
It's really easy and, the theory is, for every person who can read it, there are a hundred that you don't know who can also read it. I know a lot of people who can read it.
Quote from: Booklover on March 16, 2020, 09:06:12 PM
1t'5 3a54 3n0u9h.
Not really.
*Sheev drinks his brew* *Sheev remains healthy*
*Or, as healthy as he was prior, at least.*
Quote from: Booklover on March 16, 2020, 09:06:12 PM
1t'5 3a54 3n0u9h.
*Actually had trouble reading it.*
I tend to notice spelling errors, though, so yay, I guess.
Kade, would you like some of my brew? :)
@Matthias720 We need all the admins we can get! even if they're retired!
A voice echoes up from Cavern Hole:
"You whippersnappers keep it down! It's getting so an old timer can't doze by the fireplace anymore! ...Disrespectful hooligans..."
I always said this forum should have a small government.
did you? I don't recall you ever saying that...
Memory loss is hitting the young easier these days.
. . .
nope. . .
I'm quite sad the boss won't drink my brew. :(
Aw, maybe he dosen't like that type..
Quote from: 'Dumbo' (according to Boss Hayes) on March 16, 2020, 10:39:24 PM
Quote from: Booklover on March 16, 2020, 09:06:12 PM
1t'5 3a54 3n0u9h.
*Actually had trouble reading it.*
I tend to notice spelling errors, though, so yay, I guess.
I notice spelling errors, but I can still read them.
"RRRRRAGH!!!! ENOUGH BLABBERING!"
Boss Hayes sighs and is silent for a moment, then a low rumble, a laugh, builds in him.
"Yew lot don't get it, do yew? How hard it is to be th' boss? There ain't even that much o' yew an' I'm ready to pull my scales out!"
He's silent again.
"Perhaps I misjudged you bunch. There's a lot more t' yew than I thought, ain't there... Well, I ain't ready t' give up jus' yet. I still got one more ace up the sleeve! You'll see!"
And with that, Boss Hayes scurries off somewhere else on the forum. What will you do?