So basically I will start a story like a few words then the next person adds a few words and so on for
example it could go :
There once was a young mouse name Matthias
He got in a turbo booster space ship
and flew to Dagobah and met Yoda
Then Clunny came
so he got on a flying horse......
So the next person adds a few words and it will make a story the Goal is to get the story to reach 15 pages!
I will start us off There once was a young mouse named Matthias.......
who loved to prank his friends...
He never helped the potatoes. . .
But loved the Tomatoes......
because they tasted very good...
He wasn't all that bright...
Because he was forcefully thrown on his head as a child. . .
Which caused him to get a pet unicorn......
He named the unicorn Robert
Who was actually a girl...
Then they got into a flying 3 story house..........
Which was actually a two story house. . . . . . . .
With a basement...
That was full of stuff that went kaboom. . .
Since Matthias wasn't all that bright, he frequently thought Skarzs was a dummy, and tested him in the basement...
And then the entire universe imploded and he died.
And then an idiot came along and pessimistically reminded everyone how these threads tend to go horribly wrong...
And then he found out that Skarzs was in fact a dummy, just of a different sort. (;D)
He started using Skarzs as a crash-test dummy...
Then skarzs stole his unicorn Robert and flew to hoth (From star wars).......
Which the Death Star commanded by Firedrake blew up.
You guys really don't like me living. . .
And a piece flew past Saturn. . .
...right before a universe exploded!
Then Matthias landed on planet earth.......
which was immediately destroyed because the universe exploded and Matthias died
The universe was rebooted and Martin became our new protagonist
but it turns out Matthias didn't die but escaped on robert his flying unicorn.......
The unicorn was an idiot and flew into the sun, killing both itself and Matthias
But then the sun exploded sending both Robert and Matthias far far away...
and killing them which brings us back to Martin
but Martin got a unicorn named Gobert.......
Who apparently was asked by Matthias and Robert to keep them safe in his stomach, but regurgitated them when Martin got him. Which brings us back to Matthias...
Mathias and Martin didn't get along because they each wanted to be the main person in the story...
And Martin, being the superior swordsman, bested Matthias in combat and killed him by cutting his head off
(THERE, HE'S DEAD, NO MORE RESURRECTIONS)
, but as soon as Matthias died, Martin died too, because they were that was.
(PLOT TWIST)
so then the protagonist became Ferahgo the Assassin
(PLOT TWIST AGAIN)
Then Klitch came and took over the universe.......
But Ferahgo killed young wet-behind-the-ears Klitch and took over the universe
However, Firedrake's Death Star shoots Ferahgo...
so now Darth Vader controls the universe
But the Matthias that was decapitated, was only a clone, Darth Vader is then killed by Matthias riding Robert...
Starkiller then kills the real Matthias and takes over the universe
but then Starkiller was made noncanon, thus changing the course of history.
But then it turns out that the universe was an illusion and Matthias never died, then he was made immortal living in the real universe.
All the while, Firedrake is watching from the control room of the Death Star.
But then a coffee cup fell into the main reactor, and it blew up.
The baby turtle flew Firedrake away to Redwall Abbey.
Unfortunately, Redwall Abbey had recently been captured by a large army of weasels with bows and arrows, and renamed "Flitchwall".
Then The head of the stoats (Wait was it stoats or weasles?) Started shooting at Firedrake
baby turtle's shell makes everyone bounce off Firedrake
Until at last a ballista was rolled out and completely obliterated baby turtle, and then Matthias came out and killed all of the weasels and stoats.
But Matthias only killed the ones outside of Flitchwall; when he was done killing them, the weasels that were still inside the building shot at and hit him with thirty arrows.
Or at least that's what they thought, he actually caught them all on his shield until it split. And then he brought in a horde of goodbeasts and took back Redwall.
When the last weasel was apparently killed, though, the abbey caved in and fell deep down into the ground, taking Matthias and everyone inside with it. Then a horde came along, built a fortress on the spot, and called it "Kotir".
Brian Jacques wakes up, realizing he was sleeping at his desk.
baby turtle regenerates and Firedrake is still alive
Then the universe exploded.
baby turtle regenerates
Meanwhile, Sir Bob bought a burger.
And baby turtle was stuck constantly dying and regenerating never making any progress with it's day.
Quote from: Delthion on August 11, 2014, 07:30:16 PM
And baby turtle was stuck constantly dying and regenerating never making any progress with it's day.
baby turtle says that you mean "its"
I have never gotten the hang of the 's with "it" I've gotten it under control with every other word except "it!!!!" *Goes off to a corner to go insane.*
Then Sir bob through the half eaten burger at Baby turtle to get him out of his state
Quote from: BadgerLordFiredrake on August 11, 2014, 08:06:18 PM
Quote from: Delthion on August 11, 2014, 07:30:16 PM
And baby turtle was stuck constantly dying and regenerating never making any progress with it's day.
baby turtle says that you mean "its"
No, I think it is 'It's'.
And baby turtle exploded.(Yay)
Exploded constantly and (preferably not sounding to much like Doctor Who,) was stuck in an inescapable time-loop of being blown-up.
"It's" is short for "it is". Actually, the proper way is "its".
Unfortunately, then Adult Turtle came along.
Which then tried to save the baby turtle but was sucked into the time-loop, and died constantly with no hope of escape.
Except one of times, before it died, remembered it had an escape rope on it and used it before the adult turtle died again.
No the time-loop is inescapable.
baby turtle clones himself in the time that he is in the past
baby turtle 2 saves baby turtle from the time-loop
baby turtle 2 vanishes, and baby turtle has escaped
Just die already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Then a squirrel named Jukka dumped a bowl of an extremely deadly substance on the baby turtle that completely destroyed his regenerative and resurrective powers, as well as killed him, and this time the baby turtle stayed dead.
But baby turtle dodged.
But then he fell into the pool of Jukkas liquid and died ultimately.
But that was only a robot. The real one was behind a tree, watching the whole thing.
Which then tripped into the vat of Jukkas liquid, which we turned into a shell attractor sucking all of the baby turtles into the pool of poisonous liquid.
However, the liquid was no longer poisonous. The unique properties of the robot's chemicals had converted it into a cloning fluid. The baby turtles, when they hit the pool, were cloned into an infinite number of baby turtles, which proceeded to fill up the entire universe.
People became very aggravated with this and defenestrating baby turtles became a common thing to do
Meanwhile, there was a guy named Joe, who dreamed of eating an average pizza.
But when he finally got his hands on one, a random guy dressed as a ninja crept into his home, took the pizza and defenestrated it
Joe was so mad, he picked the guy up (Joe was a weight-lifter), carried him down the street, and threw him off of a bridge.
(Dark)
In a completely different city, a guy called Mark was looking forward to eating a hamburger
Unfortunately, he had a problem: he was allergic to bread, tomatoes, cheese, lettuce, onions, pickles, and beef.
So he defenestrated the hamburger and had a roast dinner instead
As he was injecting himself with his epi-pen, his wife entered the room.
Mark's wife promptly scolded him for not being careful to stay away from stuff he was allergic to, so Mark defenestrated her.
Quote from: James Gryphon on August 18, 2014, 09:52:04 PM
But baby turtle dodged.
*Slams head against wall repeatedly* Why. Are. You. On. Baby. Turtle's. Side?!?! I had the freaky little thing dead for good, and now my foolproof plan is ruined! Ruined, I tell you! RUINED!!! *Passes out from the horror of it*
Fortunately, their house only had one floor; unfortunately, Mark's wife was not at all pleased with his belligerence: "Fine, be like that. I'm going to visit my parents. You can just swell up and die for all I care."
So Mark swelled up and died but not before defenestrating a chair
baby turtle watches in amusement
Until all of the baby turtles fall into a pit of acid frying baby turtles resurrection and regenerating skills it kills all baby turtles and it is impossible to dodge or alter the chemical state of the acid, it is also impossible to empty it.
And so, the baby turtle was totally and irreversibly dead. (;D)
until you realize that that baby turtle was just a clone of the real baby turtle who always is in safety
However, Delthion said that the acid killed ALL baby turtles. Therefore, the baby turtle is no more.
baby turtle cannot fall into another planet if he is not in the same dimension!
But ALL turtles means just that - ALL turtles, no matter where they may be at the precise moment.
all turtles regenerate because they are immune to your poisons
all turtles go home to their other dimension
BUT THE ACID KILLED THE BABY TURTLE!!! IT IS A PROVEN FACT, BECAUSE DELTHION SAID SO!!! ;D
do not trust that treacherous one
Why is he any more treacherous than you? Not that you're definitely treacherous - but for aught I know you might be!
i always give what happens straight out - and the fact we have survived is not a lie
*Bangs head against wall*
*baby turtle stops Jukka from banging her head*
*Wonders why baby turtle stopped me*
baby turtle is nice
Fine! I give in! Baby turtle is nice.
Thanks, baby turtle.
Anyway, where were we with the story? Oh, yeah.
The baby turtle wasn't actually dead after all. Meanwhile, a ninja sneaked into Buckingham Palace to steal any random valuables he could find.
A security guard found the ninja, however, and defenestrated him
The ninja defenestrated the guard at the same time, so they fell out of the building.
FIREDRAKE STOP GOD MODDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mod:
All right, that'll be enough. I can guarantee that this was not what the topic creator expected would be posted when he started this topic. What goes on in the Cellars is a valid part of forum culture, and can cross over into other forums, but in a reasonable fashion -- it should not drown out other activity, or create arguments.
Matthias created a topic like this back in the day. The rule he made was:
Quote from: Matthias720Feel free to be creative, but remember, this is not a role-play . I repeat, THIS IS NOT A ROLE-PLAY. Do not put yourself or a character of yourself into the story. This story is meant to be a mutual effort on everyone's part. Let's keep things orderly and have a good time. ^_^
CaptainRocktree didn't say this, probably because 1) he came along a long time after Matthias' game had come and gone, and 2) he didn't anticipate a need for it.
Well, I'm saying it now. This is now the rule in this game, and can be enforced if necessary.
I don't like to take over topics that aren't my own, but this was getting ridiculous. If you want to argue about 'baby turtle', do it in the Cellars; don't bring it into this game.
Now back to your regularly scheduled story.---
Meanwhile, Joe, who had been arrested for throwing someone off of a bridge, used his phone call to try to call his lawyer friend Mark, who lived in a different city.
But then someone defenestrated his lawyer.
He wasn't hurt, though, because he was already dead; it just so happened that Joe's friend Mark was the same guy who had the deathly allergies, and the reason why he was thrown out of a window was because the coroner felt like doing things differently.
Quote from: Delthion on August 19, 2014, 09:00:40 PM
FIREDRAKE STOP GOD MODDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That's why I switched to the ninja and guard...
Sorry about that, James. :-\
Then the coroner ate a hot dog, liberally slathered with ketchup and mustard and piled high with sauerkraut. After finishing his hot dog, he went home.
Then he went home, slipped in the bathtub, and DIED.
Ironically, considering that he was a coroner and you'd expect he would be thinking about these things, he did not have a last will, burial place, or plan for his funeral.
His ghost realized this and began haunting his lawyer.
However, the lawyer had already died from a deadly allergic reaction. So how the coroner's ghost did this is not known.
He spoke to his lawyer's ghost to find another person for writing his will, and began haunting him.
Unfortunately, the guy that he chose happened to have phasmophobia. When he thought he was being haunted, he had a nervous breakdown, was taken to the hospital, and given so many drugs that he was completely desensitized to anything except the most obvious external stimuli.
This was tested by the doctors repeatedly slapping him in the face.
So, the will went unwritten.
However, when the phasmophobic guy had a mental breakdown, the ghost of the coroner (whose name, by the way, was Jonah), started haunting the phasmophobic's ex-girlfriend, telling her to write the will.
The phasmophobic's ex-girlfriend didn't even notice, however, as she was on her phone close to 24/7.
However, one day she dropped her phone and it broke. Then she immediately noticed Jonah's ghost, and freaked out.
By this time, though, all of the coroner's property had already been auctioned off. He had had no funeral, and his body was donated to science.
Which was then dissected.
Meanwhile, some random 20-year-old guy was watching My Little Pony. As you may have guessed, he was a brony, which his family found quite weird and therefore decided to shun him. So he was sitting in his apartment watching the show and feeling rather lonely.
What is a brony?
Until he gets sucked into the TV...
(A brony's a male fan of My Little Pony.)
And then the mailman noticed he'd vanished, and wondered where he was.
But not enough to keep him from going about his business. He continued to do his route, and after a while, forgot all about it.
So the brony just stayed in the MLP universe and enjoyed himself immensely.
Meanwhile, a flying space-robot entered Earth's atmosphere.
This space-robot was the Conscious Creatures Confederation's last hope.
It rode a dirt bike, and carried a twig.
Its mission: to save all alienkind in the galaxy by destroying humanity.
Until, it drowned in a swamp.
However, the water making contact with its circuits activated the massive antimatter bomb that it was carrying.
Until Bob accidentally ate it, and the stomach acids dissolved it very quickly.
Then bob imploded due to a reaction of his stomach acids...
...letting loose an entire squadron of self-replicating mini-bots.
Which were quickly devoured by the recent Sharknado...
But then a mutated version of Spiderman ate the Sharknado. Problem solved.
The next day, a guy named Harry was walking down a street in London.
Then a huge earthquake swallowed London and Harry whole and people started defenestrating people into the fault...
However, the Queen wisely decided to ban defenestration.
Unfortunately for the queen, the general of the British army staged a coup and overthrew her.
And she was defenestrated. Then Aliens attacked and overthrew the British army.
But the aliens hadn't adapted to Earth's atmosphere and they died soon after...
Releasing thousands of their spores into the air.
Luckily, the spores were completely harmless.
Until breathed by humans. Then they inserted their nano-probes into them turning into the aliens.
And then the Earth imploded for reasons that cannot be told.
Causing us to live on a brown dwarf...
That sang all day long.
Its song undid the implosion, recreating Earth.
But the Brown Dwarf turned out to be a dwarf as told by Tolkien and C.S Lewis...
So it wasn't big enough for everyone to live on.
But everyone had shrank to the microscopic level...
But shrank too much.......
Until they were cleansed with eternal flame!
Whilst all this was going on, a girl named Esme made a sandwich.
Which then accidentally used the Rumor Weed, and then it became the Rumor Sandwich!
Unfortunately, Esme accidentally upset her coffee cup and drenched the rumor sandwich.
Then a horrible coffee monster devoured Esme.
But little did you know Esme as an alien and quickly reverted the monster to her original form, and the Rumor Sandwich wrote a catchy song that was hummed by all the peoples of all the nations of all the worlds...
And then everyone died from lack of boredom.
Then Justin Bieber got laryngitis.
And everyone rejoiced
And that made the earth freeze... (Odd isn't it?)
And then Elsa learned to love and everything melted!
And then the global warming caused North America to be drowned and Canada, The United States, and Mexico decided to sue Elsa.
However, as the reigning monarch of her country, she has sovereign immunity, so the lawsuit is prevented.
And then the people of her country put her in a guillotine about to behead her, but then her sister jumped in the way and Elsa became a hermit due to her unhappiness. She eventually went insane due to constantly singing "Let It Go"...
Because she went insane, she became a mad scientist and developed a chemical that would perminately freeze the Earth. She climbed to the top of the Statue of Liberty to unleash it upon the innocent people.
With the combination of the chemical and her pre-existing power, the average temperature of the earth became 4ºK.
And the earth died...
With everything else on Earth dead, Elsa built a massive population of living snowmen, as well as deranged monstrous snow goons.
All the snow goons died when some Tyrannosaurs flying in planes bombed them...
But not before Elsa froze the T-Rex's engines...
And everyone lived happily ever after.
Until the Earth was devoured by an immortal cosmic turtle.
And Giant pink fluffy unicorns...
Were thrown into it...
And then a hippopotamus egg turned green under mysterious circumstances.
Unfortunately, the hippopotamus was devoured by another cosmic turtle.
Called the Great A'Tuin. Upon the back of the turtle stood four elephants and on their backs they carried the Discworld
And then the cosmic turtles devoured each other...
Causing a void in time and space...
...Which was filled with asteroids the size of potatoes. The asteroids smashed into each other frequently, which caused acidic tidal waves on Mars.
And Merlin decided to name his dog Wispy.
But they died in the acidic tidal wave.
And then a weasel grinned, fir he was safe from the acidic tidal wave, being on the other side of he world.
But it turned out that it was a universal tidal wave...
So everyone died, and then dinosaurs crash-landed on Earth.
And got smushed by ants.
Which were invading the picnic of giant evil robots from Mars.
Which were actually human mutants
...With four eyes and thirteen tails. Needless to say, everyone freaked out.
But everyone was dead, so it wasn't so bad.
Everyone thought it was boring being dead.
So they all came back to life.
But they had no idea how they did it.
So everyone died again...
And decided they were sick of dying.
So they caught a plague...
The plague swept across the world, turning everyone into chickens.
And the chickens died...
And then they lived again!
But then they died again.....
*Were almost to page 15!*
And then they lived, but a battle with Civil War muskets broke out...
So they died.
But they lived, and used the Civil War muskets as toothpicks (beak-picks?)
But then they all misfired, and they died again
Then broth flooded the world, and the planet's surface became a massive mixture of chicken soup.
The Chicken Soup was then eaten by a Chicken Soup monster, who was disappointed that it wasn't Chicken Noodle.
And then the suns of the universe collapsed.
And then a black hole exploded and made millions of new Suns.
And then the suns realized that we hit page 15, and threw a dance party.
Unfortunately, the cosmic entities who were participating in this dance party got a little wild, and a few of the red giants went all supernova.
Causing a rift in reality that brought the chickens back to life
Along with the Chicken Soup monster, who tried to eat the chickens.
And this caused a rift in time that all liberals blamed on Bush. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D, (Again, this has nothing to do with a political argument.)
Mod: Even so, watch it.
In an alternate timeline, a turkey was bored.
OK, sorry.
Since you wished for nothing the world ended and so did the universe.
I wish that my dog did not have an annoying flea problem that has foiled the flea treatment.
Because Delthion confused two different games, the universe imploded.
And I was sucked into it because of my ignorance.
Then everyone called Oracle a racist because he hated hot dogs.
Meanwhile, someone at ICANN flipped a switch, and turned off all Internet domain names.
Then Microsoft bought the Internet.
Then Apple bought the universe.
WHich was then promptly eaten by Microides, a special electric parasite...
A sea of viruses sent by Facebook then devoured Microides.
And then Bob from a topic from a long time ago came back, and opened a Tardis set too only go too the Civil War.
And this time the South won.
And the South forced everyone to drink sweet tea...
And the sweet tea hated that, so they started there own Civil War with the humans.
And the sweet tea won by drowning the earth...
Which caused the gunpowder too get wet, and because the chickens wanted to take ove rthe world but now had no guns, they decided too take over the world because of the fact they couldn't take over the world as well as before.
And the world exploded from insanity
Then the only sweet tea available was the stuff from McDonald's. Everyone drank it, then became hyper from the sugar rush.
And fat from the sugar.
and then they all died again!
But since they ate so much sugar the world was destroyed...(DOn't ask me how!) ;D
And then the supreme celestial being otherwise known as Brian Jacques decided that this book was far too wierd to publish.
But somehow it escaped and was published! :'(
And then it created a forum, which in turn spawned a hundred thousand guests!
Fortunately, a valiant company of mods wiped out the evil guests and established peace and order across the forum.
But one moderator, going by the name of Games Jryphon, wanted to usurp the throne.
However, some girl named Sukka the Jling usurped it first.
So, Games decided to attempt to usurp the admin position (which, in this world, was being held by The Sady Lhael) instead.
Then a courageous, brilliant, and stunningly handsome fellow by the name of Htorezi slew Games Jryphon and saved the day.
But after three years, Games came back from the dead, seeking revenge.
Revenge, however, happened to be on vacation that week.
So, Games spammed the forums and was promptly banned by Satthiam270.
Until Ledthion took over the forums...
Then the server admin took the forums down and restored the site to how it was back in 1998.
But then Ledthion imploded, destroying the universe.
But the universe survived.
And Ledthion gazed questioningly at how the universe could survive destruction.
But it was all a dream.
And then Ledthion woke up to find a terrible world where chaos reigns, all because, the Redwall Abbey forums were never formed, therefore we were forced to display our craziness in the real world.
And then, all of the would-be Redwall forum members became politicians, causing chaos throughout the land.
And so much disorder caused the earth to turn yellow.
Too which Jalepeno Pepper Beserkers, Cows, And Unicorns battled for purchase
And the cows won, and enslaved the unicorns and peppers.
But the Unicorns broke free!...
Luckily, the unicorns exploded before they could do any damage.
Because they had accidentally eaten the peppers...
Which were anti-friendship peppers, to be exact.
Then Pinkie Pie started singing about friendship, while Twilight looked on in horror.
And then the anti-friendship peppers nuked the world and flew away in an ochre spaceship.
But the ultra magnetic world force field knocked the peppers back...
And then Games Jryphon rose from the dead...
Yes, an earthquake caused his corpse to rise from his grave, but he was still dead.
And the peppers crash landed on Games Jryphons body.
Too which a legion of tribal warriors riding on giant bunnies stampeded over the peppers and Games Jryphon.
And the bunnies and tribal warriors flew off into space.
Then Sir Ed came and saved the day 8)
Sir Ed lived happily ever after, until some Alpha Centaurians came and cryogenically froze him.
And then Alpha Centari went super nova.
But the supernova turned into confetti
And then the universe exploded into confetti
And then the irritated video game player turn off grunt birthday party.
The irritated video gamer was annihilated by a corrupted panda.
But the corrupt Panda went bankrupt causing all kinds of problems.
And the bank exploded.
...Covering North America with billions of dollars.
Then Bilbo came bumbling along looking for his 'preciousss'.
And he found her dead...
And then, the orcs of Angmar came down from the north and pillaged The Shire.
50.9% of the Shire hobbits died that day, but the rest were led to safety by a fluffy pink unicorn named Hamandhaggis.
But this turned out to be a ploy and Hamandhaggis ate them all
And then Gandalf came and banished Hamandhaggis to the netherworld.
But this was rather pointless as all the hobbits were dead
Then Legolas misfired and shot Gandalf in the foot.
And then Gandalf killed all the elves and went to Numenor, because all the people there were awesome.
However, Galadriel made everyone love her and despair, so Frodo (who luckily had avoided death) ran off to the Undying Lands to recruit an army to take out the insane wizard.
Unknown to anyone mentioned above, Smaug had survived being shot with an arrow, and filled in the hole in his armor with more jewels, making him practically invulnerable.
Then Thorin, who never actually died, raised an army of dwarves and charged Smaug's lair.
Smaug wasn't at home, being occupied with eating Galadriel and the Ring.
But then the Ring turned Smaug invisible.
But it made him corrupt, so he joined Thorin...
And then Thorin invaded magical pony land and enslaved its inhabitants.
But then Thorin changed his name and stepped on a Thorn.
And then, using the enslaved ponies as test subjects, Russian scientists proved that friendship is not magic.
The Russian scientists were under the direction of Stalin, who'd been resurrected as a Ringwraith.
Yes, he was a wraith and was a ringbearer to a wraith's wedding, making him a ringwraith...
(I laughed out loud at that. ;D)
Then Obama went golfing.
George Bush tried golfing on a ledge, and got trapped between Barack and a hard place.
The President got eighteen holes in one, breaking Kim Jong-il's all-time world record.
Meanwhile, Hillary was in a speedboat beneath the ledge Bush and Obama were golfing on.
Then Vladimir Putin ran over Hillary with his private yacht.
Then Russia was outlawed forever.
And we stopped discussing politics...
But Hillary inexplicably survived. She floated around in the water for a couple hours, screaming. By that time sharks had begun to circle her. She was entirely unaware that Russia had been outlawed.
The End
Russia, who didn't give a darn that they had been outlawed, broke off from the Earth and drifted through space.
And Algeria followed.
And algae followed them, because that's the first thing I thought of...
Then the sun exploded.
Then Games Jryphon was resurrected...
But RanielofDedwall came to drag him back into death's eternal prison.
But then Deadwall died in a wall...
... which had nothing to do with the happenings of Raniel, the enforcer from Dedwall.
Meanwhile, the exploded sun's gravity caused it to collapse in on itself, forming a black hole.
That was just a hloe that had been coloured by a two year old...
Then, Russia and Algeria got stuck together and formed the empire of Rugeria. This new empire quickly began construction of a massive fortress, which bore a slightly unsettling resemblance to George Washington's head.
Rugeria was ruled by a dictator named Nicolae Mariana, who happened to be a ten-year-old boy.
Then, a massive army led by a reincarnated Albert Einstein went blitzkrieging across the Milky Way.
And got sucked into the black hole formed by the sun's exploded gravity.
And ended up in a parallel universe.
Where all gravity was inverse.
And where wild pig monsters prospered in abundance.
The Rugerian death-star then blew the alternate universe away.
But then Delthion saved everyone with his mad ninja skills.
But then he died heroically.
So that meant his death was permanent
(I can't believe I managed to get a Homestuck reference into this thing)
And then the universe collapsed because of the HS reference.
But it was scratched before it was destroyed so a new version was made
(You're just handing me material to reference Homestuck with, I love it)
But everything within five quadrillion light years was destroyed by the unlimited vacuum collapser.
Except for Delthion and Jukka, who got married shortly after. ;D
But then Delthion was so weirded-out by that that he committed suicide.
But he was already dead, so it brought him back to life.
Quote from: Delthion on December 03, 2014, 09:59:06 PM
But then Delthion was so weirded-out by that that he committed suicide.
OOC: Gee, Jukka isn't THAT bad. :)
BIC: And they lived happily ever after, and became cauliflower farmers.
In a galaxy five quadrillion and one light years away, there was a problem.
That problem was called L(http://www.mspaintadventures.com/storyfiles/hs2/scraps/o.gif)rd English
He was the subject of the great King Ingvaeonic, who had one thing in mind: the conquest of the universe.
L(http://www.mspaintadventures.com/storyfiles/hs2/scraps/o.gif)rd English was his agent of unstoppable destruction with the powers of the Cherubim, enhanced by those of the (http://www.mspaintadventures.com/storyfiles/hs2/scraps/greensun.gif) which made him almost unbeatable
Unfortunately for him, the green sun went nova, destroying Lord English, the Igvaeonic Empire's fleet, and all hopes at future conquests.
As a result of the destruction of the (http://www.mspaintadventures.com/storyfiles/hs2/scraps/greensun.gif) a dog named Becquerel and two shell creatures named the Sovereign Slayer and the Prototyped Matriarch also died as their powers were also derived from it
And Bobby Morr, the famous intergalactic hockey player, laughed and smiled when he witnessed the destruction.
But was quickly swallowed by an amoeba.
The supergiant amoeba housed the largest intergalactic hockey stadium in the universe.
Meanwhile Betthejinturong laughed maniacally at the amount of Homestuck references he had managed to make
But then its creator was sued for copyright infringement by a large media company, and Homestuck was taken offline.
OOC: It's funny because absolutely all media in Homestuck was created especially for it, including it's massive OST
Then many fans went into a spiral of depression knowing that they could never know how the GAME OVER situation was resolved or how the entire comic ended
And then Microsoft bought Homestuck.
OOC: You wouldn't believe how hard I laughed at the whole part about Oracle and me getting married. ;D
BIC: And then Google bought Disney, tearing a hole in the fabric of space and time.
And Teddy was sad
Quote from: Jukka the Sling on December 04, 2014, 12:48:36 AM
OOC: You wouldn't believe how hard I laughed at the whole part about Oracle and me getting married. ;D
I ship :)
I thought of setting it up with the one who voted for you in Blaggut's poll, but I figured it would be to cruel. (Not to mention I am sworn to silence. :( )
~~~~
Anyway:
Because Disney world became Google world, which wasn't nearly as good
(So... whoever voted for me voted seriously?)
Google World was a total flop, and in retaliation the general populace boycotted YouTube.
OOC: No idea, I merely know who voted for you, but my lips are sealed.
BIC: Steve Chan, the founder of YouTube, was not overly pleased by the boycotting, and proposed a tribal dance to solve everyone's problems.
And someone took a video of it and it went viral on Vimeo, thus killing YouTube.
OOC: Man, I wish this would happen.
Youtube's ruined husk was taken over by swarms of viruses.
So YouTube purchased Firewall V 120.0 to defend their videos.
Spoiler
OOC: I wish that would happen too.
Then YouTube's forces failed.
Meanwhile, a guy named Ned ate rotten turnips.
While watching youtube fighting for its life.
And Delthion ran in terror still remembering the post of Jukka and I getting married...*Shudder.* ;D
But Ledthion and Sukka the Jling were happily married, and had seventeen children. ;)
OOC: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!
Then Games Jryphon felt terrible for making Ledthion marry Sukka so he committed suicide!
This brought him back to life, as he was already dead, and he laughed and smiled to see that he had matchmade such a great marriage.
GAAAAAAAAHHH!!!
Then Ledthion went insane because he could not punish Games.
And Sukka the Jling and their sixteen daughters were very sad to see their beloved husband and father fall to such a state (his son didn't care a bit).
Wow, you're mean! ;D ;D ;D
So then Sukka and her daughters became nuns.
But Ledthion Jr. was happy to see his father's terrible state, as it meant his secret dream could be fulfilled.
Ledthion Jr. went to Iceland, where he began construction on a secret base.
He then planted trees all around his secret base...
And put cameras in those trees
Spoiler
Im laughing so hard on the inside with the Sukka and Ledthion thing!!!!
But then YouTube fell to the forces of viruses and was over run, allowing them to sweep the earth and ruin his cameras.
Quote from: Soren the Warrior on December 05, 2014, 06:01:37 AM
Spoiler
Im laughing so hard on the inside with the Sukka and Ledthion thing!!!!
And I'm laughing so hard out loud! ;D
But then Sukka and fifteen of her sixteen daughters left the convent, as they weren't Catholic. The one who remained was named Ariella, and she happened to like being a nun.
So, Nussa came to visit Sukka and her fifteen daughters (who had moved to Canada for the winter). She was aghast to find that they had rented a mouse-ridden room, (above a small café) and had all been employed in a cabbage factory. ;D
(You mean Nussa Rodrey, not Russa; it's against the rules to be in the story. ;) These are our parallel-world doubles.)
Then Ledthion Jr.'s fortress, despite some setbacks, was almost complete.
(I've changed that.)
Sukka was horrified that her son had turned out so evil, and decided to stop him. (With Nussa's help of course.)
But Ledthion, who as previously mentioned had gone insane, was proud of his son's evil ways, and the two joined forces as father and son to try to take over the galaxy.
But Sukka, her 15 daughters, and Nussa, bombed his fortress. They then made a secret organization; consisting of people who considered Ledthion evil, and wanted to destroy him.
(Nussa.)
So Ledthion came up with a plan for a orbiting battle station armed with a particle beam capable of destroying planets with one shot, and for the first time in his life Ledthion Jr. loved his father.
OOC: I wonder where you're getting your ideas from.
But Sukka and Co. after studying blue prints for his battle station, mounted an attack on it's weakest point.....and destroyed it.
But not before Flo (one of Sukka's kids) found out Ledthion was her dad, and got him out of there.
Ledthion had been using a code name, "the Dark Father", which is why his daughter didn't know that he was allied with Ledthion Jr. and behind these plans. However, even though he had been rescued, he was still evil, and kidnapped his daughter, taking her to the Ledthion & Son Evil Central Command bunker, which was hidden a thousand miles underneath the surface of a faraway planet.
But Flo (who was known for her terrible singing voice) started to sing. Everyone and everything in a two thousand mile radius died...except for Flo.
Then Emperor Hzeroti, who was quite irritated with bad singing, electrocuted Flo and threw her into a nearby garbage disposal.
Which she promptly and effortlessly escaped from by singing a hole through the wall. She then returned to the safety of her mom and sisters' home above the cafe.
Then the force awoke!
But everyone was annoyed by the fact that the force had been snoring while it was asleep, and so they decided to bomb it. This they did with bliss. And so that is how the force met its demise.
Meanwhile, Ledthion, who had left the bunker after depositing his daughter there, joined up with Ledthion Jr. on the second planet-destroying station they had built.
Meanwhile, Ledthion Jr. fell in love with Nussa Rodrey.
Which was very creepy, considering that she was his aunt.
And Ledthion Jr. was so creeped out that he murdered Nussa...
Ledthion laughed and smiled, and said "Great job son; I never liked the in-laws".
The Nussa that Ledthion Jr. had fallen in love with and murdered was actually NOT his aunt; she was someone who just looked a lot like her and had the same name.
HAHAHA!
Anyway, then Ledthion Jr. felt appreciated and tried to impress his father.
He decided to do this by blowing up every planet in the solar system.
Unfortunately, Ledthion Jr. wasn't very bright, so he blew up the planet on which his father's bunker was situated, a thousand miles beneath the surface.
But Ledthion was off base at the time and proceeded to rant at his son, but eventually they were reconciled.
Meanwhile, Sukka, Flo, and the fourteen other daughters (Ariella not included, of course, as she was in a Peruvian convent) were back home in their rented room, trying to brave the harsh Canadian winter.
Even though they were living in Sicily.
Which made no sense, but it didn't have to.
Meanwhile Ledthion decided to visit Sukka and her daughters.
But then seeing his previous family he took off screaming.
Then Zireoth, who happened to be the cousin of Hzeroti, established an alliance with Ledthion Jr, all the while plotting to overthrow Sukka when he got the chance.
Ledthion and Sukka's daughter, Nussa (who was named after her aunt), visited Ledthion's new secret base, and burst in the room crying, "Don't you love us anymore?"
But then Ledthion said; "I was thinking the same thing about you!"
Hehehehe...
And Nussa joined her father and brother, hoping in vain that her true love would cause them to come back to the right; Ledthion knew this, and scoffed inwardly, only wanting someone to clean the base and to use as a hostage.
But Ledthion Jr. got mad at Ledthion and whacked him on the head, causing Ledthion to come back to his senses!
Back in his right mind, Ledthion gave Ledthion Jr. a big whack on the head; this made him insane, which of course cured his evil condition, and Sukka and the rest of their daughters moved in to Ledthion's fortress, which was renamed the "Palace of Truth and Love", and they all lived happily ever after until they died.
But they were already dead, so they just came back to life...
And the cycle continued, and Ledthion and Sukka remained happily married, and lived in his palace with their fifteen daughters and single son, for the rest of time. :)
In another reality, where everything was backwards, Noihtdel eht Live made the final preparations for his invasion.
But the Delthion (Noihtdel's opposite) was fighting against him...
(I'm still not in this.)
But the good guys lost, and Htrae's defenses fell before the might of the invading fleets and hordes.
But Htrae had already fallen so it just rose...
...under the rule of the merciless Noihtdel eht Live.
But one Htraeling named Neros the Roirraw challenged Noihtled the Live's rule, causing a revolution.
Noihtled the Live was the insane twin of Noihtdel eht Live; he believed that everything was the opposite of how it was.
So Neros realized that he had got mixed up, and start Ed a revolution against Noihtled eht Live.
And the revolution was crushed by the might of the Noihtdel empire.
(WHY AM I ALWAYS THE BAD GUY?!)
(It isn't really you. Besides, this is an alternate reality.)
And Noihtdel eht Live married Gnilj eht Akkus, and had ten children, nine daughters and one son. ;)
Gnilj (or is it Akkus?) sent her kids off to boarding school in another galaxy.
All of Noihtdel eht Live and Gnilj eht Akkus (I guess Akkus, but I dunno)'s daughters were evil, like their parents, but their son Rj. Noihtdel was secretly good.
Zireoth, who had recently acquired an inter-dimensional portal, sent Ledthion and Ledthion Jr. to Noihtdel's dimension.
Sukka the Jling and all of their other children, except for Ariella, followed. The group soon met Rj. Noihtdel, who was a genius and had begun an organization to overthrow his parents' empire.
What they didn't realize, however, was that they were highly irradiated from the portal.
This radiation gave each of them amazing super-powers.
But it killed them before they could use them...
... but as usual, they were already dead, so they came back to life.
And ended the reign of my evil opposite, (I don't even want to have to spell his name.)
and returned back into their own world, where they lived happily ever after.
In another part of the universe, there was a pizza delivery guy, named Joe.
Who was very sad he wasn't a mad scientist.
So, he chose the next best thing, which was to be an evil genius.
But he was already evil, so he just became good...
Because he was good, and everyone else was good too, he never had to do anything exciting. Therefore, he died from boredom. And he was not already dead, so he didn't come back to life.
But before he was autopsied, someone came along and killed him, bringing him back to life.
So he became a film producer.
He changed his name to Leorge Gucas, and produced the popular film Sraw Rats.
It was popular only in that thousands of theaters agreed to show it; everyone that watched it hated it.
Until the Bugling Games came out then it became a hit in theaters who refused to play the other movie.
The Bugling Games were so absolutely horrible, that everyone who saw that movie rioted.
And the rioters held a theater hostage and under siege.
Until the theater switched the film they were showing to "Sraw Rats"; then everyone bought tickets and acted like they loved the film afterwards, even though they had hated it before.
Then merchandise was sold for it everywhere for the next century.
But it was faulty, and leaked radiation, destroying all wildlife and vegetation. It was not already destroyed and therefore cannot be brought back.
But then there was a fire that killed all the dead wildlife and vegetation, bringing all of it back to life, and people began to realize the futility of killing.
When they realized the futility of killing, they all went into comas.
In their comas, they dreamed of new worlds and the same old world.
They dreamed so hard, that their dreams eventually became reality and they were all teleported to a brand new world.
The brand new world's characteristics were previously thought to be physically impossible; it was the size of Jupiter, but somehow remained habitable by humans.
Until it became real, and since it already was, it became fictional again.
Meanwhile, Leorge Gucas laughed and smiled at the thought of how much money he had ripped off of the unwitting masses by making a terrible film, "The Bugling Games", to prop up "Sraw Rats".
But it turned out that he had just remade the Metropolis!
Meanwhile, Gill Bates created the company Sicromoft.
That produced a new game called Ninebaft.
Ninebaft was extremely popular, but then Gill Bates decided to get rid of it.
... because he discovered that Ninebaft had more registered users than Vindows, Sicromoft's flagship operating system.
So to make things more confusing he decided to create a new computer software called Hack.
Hack was code for horrible awful computer keypad.
And everyone hated it. So they decided to ban everyone from ever using it.
But then they realized if they hooked a different keyboard to Hack it was the worlds best computer.
But it was already the world's best computer, so it became the worst...
And everyone banned it.
Untill they came out with version 2.0
Then Dalt Wisney's company, Wisney™, bought both Sicromoft and Leorge Gucas' company.
Wisney went out of business due to a lack of resources, which just goes to show how weak all of these companies really were.
Then everyone revolted.
But everyone was already revolting, so they became peaceful.
Until one day, when a guy named Bob started a revolution.
But it had already started, so he stopped it...
And then the giant, omnipotent entity that was running the universe put Earth in his "trash" file.
AND THEN EMPYED THE TRASH CAN !! (This action cannot be undone.)
So the Earth disappeared, and all of the aliens living in the universe cheered.
And Szraks was happy.
(http://i1285.photobucket.com/albums/a594/The_Skarz/Scan5_zps2221bddb.jpeg)
Skzraks was so happy, that he forgot to follow intergalactic traffic laws.
He was stopped by the intergalactic traffic police who fined him and took his pie.
Then he got mad, so he decided to fly a helicopter over the Bermuda Triangle.
Then a tornado sucked him to the bottom of the ocean where he met a mermaid who showed him the wreck of the Titanic.
Which he thought was really cool, unfortunately he attracted the attention of a hungry shark.....and it ate him.
But he was a troll, and therefore poisonous to sharks, so the shark spat him out, and entered a spitting contest, the shark won by spitting Szraks all the way to Japan...
Where he made a house out of sticks, and peacefully lived out the rest of his days there.
However Zieroth decided that he wanted the hut so he sent Yaifloe the wandering mercenary to get it for him.
Yaifloe found only a dead body, left from when the hut's occupant had passed on, several years before.
So she decided to make a house out of sticks, and peacefully lived out the rest of her days there.
Then Zieroth, who was wroth at his mercenary disappearing without a trace, hired Yerdon Assur to find and destroy the hut.
But it was already destroyed, so she built it and lived there peacefully to the end of her days.
Meanwhile, there was a tomb with a big red button on the wall facing the casket.
And Ledthion decided to push the button.
Laughing maniacally, the ruthless, power-hungry, and evil Games Jryphon (for that was who was interred there) came back to life and leaped out of the casket.
Ledthion was also super evil, and wanted to join forces with Games.
Games, with a diabolical grin, said, "To prove yourself worthy to become my ally, you must propose to Sukka the Jling!"
He was already married to her but he did it anyway.
Games laughed and smiled, and Sukka smirked, and Ledthion grew giddy as he thought about betraying his new ally.
Ledthion loved betraying people, so he betrayed Games.
However Games had beaten him to it and hid a self destructing pie on Ledthion.
While Ledthion was still reeling, Games used his evil powers to tie Ledthion up and gag him.
Meanwhile, Sukka had rigged up a camera so she could watch her husband get tortured. (Which was bound to happen.)
Games waved his hand, and turned Ledthion into a tiny remote-controlled gorilla.
Then SkrookBrimmer (who was secretly in love with Games) entered the room.
. . . And was swiftly punched in the face because they didn't save Szraks.
Games stood on top of a podium, and proclaimed to the entire world his intentions of usurping the adminhood from Satthiam270 (who had inherited it from The Sady Lhael).
But the world didn't want that to happen.
Then Games challenged Satthiam270 to a duel, saying that the winner would be proven the true and rightful ruler of the forumverse.
But intense rain on the day of the duel ruined the outdoor event and they decided to make it up.
Games only agreed to peace, though, with the hope that Satthiam would turn his back and be vulnerable to treachery.
But then Sukka ran to the aid of her husband and saved him. Then Ledthion interrupted the duel and said that first Games must defeat Ledthion in a fair contest. He had turned away from his evil ways while he was tied up.
SkrookBrimmer was meanwhile hoping that Games wouldn't go through with the duel. She decided to sabotage the area where it was to take place.
Games laughed maniacally and agreed to the preliminary duel, saying that fair play is for the weak, but that fair contest or no, Ledthion could never stand against his power.
At that moment, Skrook caused the awning under which Games and Ledthion were standing to collapse.
Games moved to grab Ledthion, hoping to throw him up in the air and use him to deflect the falling awning.
But Ledthion managed to throw Games into Skrook...
...saving Games Jryphon from being crushed by the heavy steel awning, which then fell and squished Ledthion.
But Sukka had saved him already...
...meanwhile, Games, who was royally irritated at Skrookbrimmer, raised his hand with the intention of turning her into a tiny remote-controlled albino gorilla, but he was interrupted when Satthiam270 spoke.
He said; "Do you not realize that she loves you?"
Games, with a crazed look in his eyes, yelled "I DON'T CARE!!!!!!", and, raising both hands, attacked Skrook and Satthiam simultaneously with lightning.
But Satthiam raised a mirror and killed Games, unreverseably.
Then Skrook went irreversibly insane and attacked Satthiam.
Who fell over dead after hearing Satthiam's magic words.
... Then High Lord Ungatt Trunn came and made everyone his slaves!
Then Mask rose up in rebellion and overthrew him!
Then Ungatt vanquished Mask and returned as the monarchy.
But Mask 2.0 came and destroyed Ungatt and reigned unchallenged.
But Mask was really just a puppet leader, and Zieroth had all the real power.
And then a bunch of forum members realized that you aren't exactly supposed to put yourself in this game, and they stopped. ;)
In a galaxy far, far away, revolution was brewing. The people of the planet Kordinnia had grown sick and tired of eating cheeseburgers, so a few began meeting secretly in a tavern, trying to figure out what to do.
They decided to pull the cheese off the cheeseburgers to defy the government.
When they took the cheese off the cheeseburgers, they uncovered a horrible secret: all the cheeseburgers were really secret government recording devices!
Then everyone laid seige to the goverment!
But the government defeated them and created the really hungry games.
Which everyone was forced to participate in.
Games Jryphon, due to the fact that he had the word in his name, was chosen to be the director of the first hungry games.
He was also evil.
The Really Hungry Games used utensils instead of weapons.
There was no food, either.
They had massive food fights with fake food like spam and battled fiercely with forks and spoons.
And then hey went to a concert!
To celebrate 700 years of cheeseburgers
And 523 years of Italian dressing.
And of course Twinkies
But everybody hated the concert.
Expecially Hiccup
Who burned down the building and ate all the cheeseburgers.
But choked on the salad dressing...
And then barfed up his entire dinner on the government.
The government officials, being germaphobes, quickly ordered two-hundred tons of soap to be dumped everywhere.
What the government didn't know was that dragon barf is unclean able.
So, the government flew off in a spaceship and nuked Earth from orbit.
But they forgot to put atmospheric shielding on all their nukes so they burned up before hitting earth.
Then every volcano on the planet became active and erupted, and lava covered every inch of the ground.
Except for Prince Edward Island.
Which was covered by twenty layers of ash...
And three layers of cottage cheese...
And fifteen feet of mozzarella.
Plus another seven layers of pomegranates...
Prince Edward Island imploded from the immense amount of pressure.
And then the universe imploded.
But it wasn't our universe.
But then... *prepare for plot twist!*... Prince Charming returned!
DUN DUN DUUUUUNNNN!!!!
However, Prince Charming was assassinated by agents of the North Korean government.
But it turned out that the Koreans had only destrogen a dummy of him. Then the Fairy god Mother put spell on line of Prince Charming's enemies that turned them to stone!
But then they turned into stone golems and crushed him.
But then the Fairy god Mother went back in time and turned them all into cotton instead of stone, saving Prince Charming.
Then Freddy killed them all.
But they were already dead, so they came back to life.
And then Freddy made Prince Charming the king of all existance!
Prince Charming lived a nice long life until he was of about thirty five years of age when he died of old age.
But then the Fairy god Mother realized that thirty-five if certainly NOT a long life, so she broth Prince CharmING back to life and made him ruler.
But he tripped getting out of bed one morning, fell down the stairs, hit his head, and died.
Then the Fairy god Mother resurrected him again and made him invinsable.
But the fairy godfather had hired an hitman to bump off the fairy godmother, and she died; then the fairy godfather's men gave the Prince a cement overcoat, making sure by the end of the night that he was sleeping with the fishes.
But what they didn't know is that they had only finished off the decoys: then the real Fairy godmother put the Fairy godfather and all his followers out of existance.
...but, being nearly-blind, she had stupidly only destroyed cardboard cutouts; the real mafioso were behind the curtain, and bumped her off; then the fairy godfather, who was not actually a fairy, and was only called that because of his habit of granting last wishes to prisoners, used his anti-fairy bomb to destroy all fairies everywhere.
However, the fairies defused the bomb, and then embarked on a crusade with the help of the Elven-king Thranduil to wipe out the mafia.
Which they successfully accomplished. But then giant spiders came and destroyed Thranduil's kingdom in Mirkwood.
Legolas cried.
Then the universe exploded and Prince Charming became king again!
Charming ordered the execution of Azog and Tauriel, and Tolkien's fans rejoiced.
(Seriously, what do people have against Tauriel? I enjoyed the Hobbit trilogy, and she was a cool addition to the plot, even if non-canon.)
Tauriel fled to the Undying Lands.
(Tauriel is awesome!)
Then Gandalf banished Charming.
Then the Fairy godmother banished Gandalf.
But since he was already in exile he came back and killed her
And then Morgoth broke his chain and killed everybody.
But Fingolfin came back from the dead, and, armed with a magic sword, sliced Morgoth up so badly that the puny so-called dark lord could no longer move.
Fingolfin was about to slay Morgoth, but got crushed by a falling meteor.
So Morgoth was happy.
But then Feanor gave Melkor the Silmarils. (I don't know why he would!) ;D
But having been paralyzed by Fingolfin's attack, he couldn't do anything but stare at them.
Then everything turned into cotton.
Except for cotton, which turned into snakes.
Which scared Indiana Jones "Why did it have to be snakes?" he cried as he was bitten by a black mamba
But it was a cottonmouth. Because that's the kind of snake that the cotton turned into... ;D
Fortunately, Indiana Jones was made out of LEGO™ bricks, and was immune to snake venom.
But then something bad happened and Indiana Jones went to southern Indiana.
Southern Indiana was overrun by Kentuckians.
And then the Virginians became rulers of all that existed.
Except for Kentucky, which became a seperate dimension.
But then Kentucky was conquered by King B.
But then someone named Ledthion in southern Indiana conquered everything in all of the dimensions...
...except Texas, which was far to powerful to ever be conquered.
And then Texas exploded
Because of a rampaging overlord.
Who was made of plastic.
Because of Izeroth's evil deeds.
Izeroth did not exist, however. Rizetoth was the one who was really responsible.
Because he had eaten Games...
And gone mad.
A falling washing machine hit Rizetoth and made him sane again.
But he was already sane, just mad, so he became insane and mad.
... And so he blew up Mars with one billion tons of tnt.
And Texas rose again.
And Arwen Undomiel went nuclear.
And Texas blew up again, sinking into the sea never to return
The whirlpool that Texas created sucked up half of New York.
Turning it into old York.
But a cowboy named Billy Bob Joe, lassoed Texas out of the water and brought it back up.
And then he died and crushed Texas under his body weight. And Texas was never brought back again or inhabited.
Till San Dirago came and lifted it out making it stronger then ever before.
But Texas had been obliterated forever and could never be brought back again...
But it had already been destroyed, so it rose as the greatest superpower ever and conquered the universe, making everyone Texans.
And then the universe exploded, when it was rebooted, Texas did not exist
But then a man named Ham Souston formed a new country, the Republic of Texas, which became known as the greatest nation in the history of the universe.
And peace and prosperity reigned throughout that land.
Then California broke off from the rest of the US and floated away. Everyone except the Californians rejoiced.
But then California discovered an ancient ruin underneath the redwood forest, and they used ancient technology from this ruin to destroy everyone else.
The Republic of Texas fought back but was ultimately destroyed
And the Californians laughed and rejoiced, eating granola bars, until winter came. . . . .
It was a nuclear winter: Texas, because it had already been destroyed, was brought back to full strength, and wiped out everything in California with 10,000 tons worth of hydrogen bombs.
((What is with you and Texas?))
But what the Texans didn't figure in was all the Califorina dust, which blew back into their eyes. . . .
Everybody keeps trying to destroy my home; what do you expect? ;)
But the dust was blown up into space by a repulsor beam, and the Republic continued achieving its rightful destiny.
Meanwhile, in another universe, there was a guy named Billiam, who dreamed of eating the perfect taco.
And as he dreamed, back in our universe, Texas was annihilated by a rampaging monster
(http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/images/anim_rolleyes.gif)
Yes: the backwater surfer town of Texas, California was completely destroyed, with no survivors, and the lizard monster continued its rampage across the island of California, destroying Los Angeles in spite of the best efforts of the California Self-Defense Forces.
Meanwhile, Zieroth was taking over Maine...
Which was quite warm and sunny. . .
And then a meteor obliterated the entirety of North America, including Texas
And people in Rio cheered, danced, and got drunk. . . .
On solar energy, which promptly burned them all to death.
But then North America got un-obliterated.
And a giant sloth destroyed Europe.
And the rest of the world. The lost kingdom of Atlantis then rose up from the depths and ruled over the drowned planet for all eternity
Until global warming caused the sea levels to rise, destroying Atlantis again.
Allowing Texas to rise again become undefeatable and indestructible.
However Texas had already resurfaced so it sank again
In a galaxy far far away, a star blew up.
Its gravity caused the UK to self-destruct.
However since the entire planet was already drowned, this made little difference
The giant sloth, which was quite hungry for new food, took to the stars in search of new planets.
But the Vagga Bon warriors turned it into their slave.
Then the whole Earth revived.
But since the Earth was already revived, it was destroyed again.
And then revived.
And then it was destroyed
And then revived again.
And then it was destroyed, shattered into billions of tiny slivers so that it could never rise again
That very morning, a hobbit entered Minas Tirith.
And left immediately...
"Come back!" Denethor yelled to the hobbit.
And then Denethor, in his grief, killed himself.
Meanwhile, in another world, Thenedor's army had just finished conquering Dormor.
To celebrate, they pillaged Asgard.
Which immediately bowed before the amazing-ness of the characters of the Ring of the Lords.
But then the Vagga Bon warriors came and crushed the Lord of the Rings characters, and turned them into slave fighters. (Gladiators)
They also brainwashed the characters so they'd be completely brutal fighters, with no human sympathy at all.
At the very first fight, Graaorn stabbed Woeyn in the arm.
(But it was the Ring of the Lords!)
And even though the Vagga Bon warriors had crushed the Lord of the Rings characters. Asgard was still under the rule of the Ring of the Lords characters.
Gormoth escaped from the Noor of Dight, and wrought fiery destruction down upon the Vaga Bon warriors.
(@Oracle: Changed it.)
Then Minrodel found Rmaoth after years of searching.
Then Jrian Baques wrote a book that was called Wedrall.
It was about a salamander marinated in chocolate.
Who was eaten by a kid named Ttunga.
Who got stomach cramps as a result
OOC: You do know Ttunga is an anagram of Ungatt so, um, Ttunga is you.
Quote from: Russa Nodrey on December 30, 2014, 10:34:55 PM
OOC: You do know Ttunga is an anagram of Ungatt so, um, Ttunga is you.
But it turned out that he didn't get stomach cramps!
He actually had appendicitis!
But then it turned out that Ttunga wasn't even Ungatt! It was Leatho!
Who was actually Othael!
Who turned out to be a stick of dynamite!
And the stick of dynamite exploded.
And everyone turned into a fetuccine tornado!
Which sucked up all of Louisiana!
Then Donald Duck was elected President.
When duck hunting season arrived, he declared a state of emergency and dissolved all branches of government.
One fine morning, a guy named Billy Bob Johansson went for a walk down his quiet, average street.
And was confronted by a wizard named Doubledoor.
Who fired a repeating spell the backfired shooting an endless loop of repeating backfires.
So Bob took out a ray gun and rayed the alleged wizard.
The wizard disintegrated into a pile of ash, and all the neighbors were terrified of Billy Bob 'cause he had killed someone.
Then he went to a bridge.
Ledthion met him there, ready for action, his laser sword warmed up.
Bob pulled out a baseball bat, and started to whack Ledthion.
Ledthion was annoyed, and sliced the baseball bat in half with his laser sword.
But then Billy Bob ignited a Lightsaber and attacked Ledthion.
But Ledthion used his superb skills and cut the lightsaber in half with his laser sword.
Billy then fled to a small cave in the Siberian desert.
And was captured by the giant alien scorpions who took Billy to their leader.
Their leader was an octopus named Chris the Fearsome.
Who was actually a reincarnation of Ledthion.
Ledthion appeared in person, and Chris the Fearsome engaged him in a duel, one laser sword against eight laser daggers.
And the duel lasted for 12 years.
Then Ledthion cut off one of Chris' tentacles, turning him into a septopus.
Then Chris fell in lava and was fried alive.
So everyone had fried septopus for dinner.
However, they did not realize that Zireoth had poisoned the fried septopus beforehand. They all died within seconds, the last thing they saw being the one who had poisoned them laughing with cruelty.
Then Zireoth tripped and fell into the pit of lava.
But Zireoth was a fire warlock, so the lava had no effect.
Unfortunately for him, there was a portal below him, which teleported him directly into the event horizon of a black hole.
A giant army of Death Defying Beavers marched across the countryside.
Billy who had escaped the twelve year duel, controlled the giant army of giant alien scorpions and met the beavers in battle.
But then a wild band of rogue Platypus's came and started to battle with both sides!
All of a sudden, a crow came flying towards the armies.
The crow was actually a wizard in disguise.
His disguise wasn't very effective, however: he'd forgotten to take off his pointy wizard hat.
He was called by all Stormcrow because a storm followed him wherever he went. ;D
One day he was struck by lightning.
And he fell down into the middle of the battling armies
He then became a tree-man.
When he became a tree-man, he decided to sit down and play a harp.
While the giant scorpions and beavers battled it out with platypuses he played twinkle twinkle little star.
But then he saw the Uruk-hai cutting down his forest....
Then he changed to the Beethoven's Fifth Symphony.
When he finished, he turned into a butterfly and flew to Redwall...
But Redwall had become a big tourist attraction, and a group of tourists stepped on him.
One tourist, Joe, saw the crushed butterfly and started crying...
Joe was so sad, he found the nearest cliff and jumped off it. But he was caught by an eagle.
And the eagle flew Joe to his nest to feed him too it's chicks.
The chick's names were Sue, Linda, and Flo.
And before the other's could do anything, Flo ate Joe
Meanwhile, Zieroth, who had somehow gotten out of the black hole, fell into the North Pacific Ocean.
And was eaten by the Kraken which was traveling there at the moment.
Then Flo who had eaten Joe, grew so massive that she caught and ate the Kraken.
But was later eaten by Cerberus.
OOC: Del, how dare you try to kill your daughter! ;D
So, Flo started to sing, (her singing can basically shatter rock, as some of you know.) she sung a hole through Cerberus's stomach, and escaped.
And was promptly eaten by Ketos
After singing her way out of Ketos, Flo decided to visit her mom and 15 sisters in Canada.
Along the way she was joined by a group of migrating Geespigs
They told her that Ledthion had been slain (Which he had).
OOC: No one ever stated that she was my daughter.
Then it was found that Ledthion was not dead!!!
This Flo was actually an eagle, so it couldn't have been the same one.
But he was an old man.
Ledthion travelled to Middle Earth and changed his name to Saruman.
He ended his days as a petty crime lord in Hobbiton.
Until he became good again and replaced Fladnag the White's previous position of the Grey.
As he was already dead, this creeped out everyone immensely.
Because Nrogara had forgotten to hold his oath fulfilled.
(Nrogara was a weak, feeble king, who, while legitimately of royal descent, was not even close to being as good as the great steward Thenedor who had conquered Dormor.)
OOC: Do you mean Rodrom?
But this was because Nrogara was the rightful king of Nahor, not of Rodrom.
(No; look at page 44.)
This was discovered, and Rimorob, the heir of Thenedor, became the new leader of Rodnog and the conquered principality of Dormor.
While traveling to the great fortress city of Tinas-Mirith, Rimorob was slain by a group of Huruk-Ai.
So his little brother Rimaraf took over, and began a crusade to exterminate all the Cros (aka nilbogs) in the world.
The leader of the leves, Dnorle, began a "save the cros," campaign, which included habitat restoration and cro re-introduction into Barad-Dûr national park.
So Rimaraf declared Dnorle to be an enemy of the kingdom, in league with the nilbog menace, and sent nine knights, the Knights of the Square Table, on a quest to find and kill Dnorle.
However Dnorle went "THAS IS SPARTAAAAA! YAAAAHHH!" and kicked the nine knights into a deep pit into nowhere.
So Rimaraf hired Leiruat to assassinate Dnorle.
But Dnorle's cousin Elrond came and killed Leiruat and there was war between the Doowrikm elves and the Llednevir elves.
The Doowrikm leves were notorious for their alliances with the world of nem, such as when they joined the nem of Nwotekal in attempting to extort treasure from Niroth Dleihsnekao years before, so Rodnog and Doowrikm were allies in this war.
But the Steel hills dwarves led by Naid ToofnorI attacked them.
"The Dwarves are for the Dwarves", Naid proclaimed, as he launched an invasion of both Llednevir and Doowrikm.
With all their energy in the war they were unable to stop the crime lord Gasp in his expansion of his petty empire.
The crime lord Gasp expanded his empire all the way into Worodfaith, and (quite accidentaly) aroused the wrath of an ancient dark spirit.
However, the dark spirit was extremely weak, no more powerful than a gnat, and had about the same impact on Gasp's life.
But when the gnat bounced into him, they exchanged viruses, and The Dark Lord Gasp came down with fatal affliction.
But Niroht and Naid joined forces.
Their mighty army conquered Llednevir and Doowkrim, thus saving Rimaraf the trouble of wiping out the leves.
But Glob attacked Naid for revenge for his father Goza's death.
Then Nroeb came and mauled Glob, killing him.
And Nroeb went back to his talking horses.
Meanwhile, in the deserts of Dorn, a grain of sand moved.
The grain of sand exploded.
And disrupted the very fabric of time itself.
Creating a small hut with a coop of chickens.
Tended by an overreacting forum member...
Who enslaved all other forum members.
And turned them all into cornmeal!!!
All the cornmealy forum member were very sad when they realized that they were cornmeal.
In the brief second before they were devoured by a monstrous space-koala, they contemplated the meaning of life.
They found that it was cabbaging!
But Nyrebo Lletram killed the koala.
But the Koala was carried away by the massive Flo that had just flown by.
And then an army of corrupted bunnies firing howitzer cannons led Napoleon Bonaparte set up insta-forts copyright 1492) an invaded the unpeaceful land.
But there was corrupted-bunny-repellent sprinkled over the countryside; the bunnies trampled the forts, the howitzers, and their leader in their hurry to get away, and ran into a river, filling it from bottom to top, and causing the water to overflow.
Then a sparkly vampire by the name of Edward wandered by.
An off-duty contract killer (http://www.funniestmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/Funniest_Memes_vampires-we-kill-the-ones-that-sparkle-for-free_13285.jpeg) attacked him with a wooden stake. :)
Edward was slain, the whole world celebrated.
Even the races in Upper Earth stopped fighting to celebrate.
Allowing the dragon Lmoug too steal the Sword of Martin.
He then gave it to a kid named Small Charlie.
Small Charlie comitted seppuku with the sword.
Unfortunately Small Charlie had no idea what "seppuku" did.
(Seppuku is suicide where the user of the sword opens his stomach with his weapon)
But Lord Ashenwyte forced him to commit seppuku.
However, Lord Ash failed to realize that when you force someone to commit suicide it's no longer suicide but murder.
So he ran away.
Meanwhile, having already been dead, Charlie came back to life.
He moved to Baltimore, and became a dentist.
Drol Hsa, who was in dire need of a dentist, went into Charlie's office.
Drol told Charlie he needed a tooth pulled.
Charlie looked in Drol's mouth, whistled, and said, "I'll say you do!"
Then the real Lord Ash came to the office.
But he was incinerated on the spot because he was in the wrong time line...
The dentist, who always appreciated irony, looked at the smouldering pile of burnt badger and said, "I guess you really are Lord Ash now."
Then the dentist pulled out Drol Hsa's tooth with no anesthesia.
Lord Ash attacked the dentist.
But the dentist was a ninja master and he defeated Lord Ash with one hand.
But Lord Ashenwyte's massive extended family attacked the dentist with their massive hordes.
But because the dentist was so skilled, he nuked them all before they could touch him.
The explosion faded away, causing no collateral damage, and Charlie got ready to pull all of Drol's remaining teeth.
(No putting yourself in the story. There can be Games Jryphon, but no James Gryphon.)
Due to the rules, Lord Ashenwyte disappeared and in his place was his hundred headed dragon.
Who was actually dead, and the townspeople buried him.
But he was actually alive.
So it died again from dirt suffocation.
However, due to the fact that Lord Ash (and thus the dragon) had been burnt up centuries ago, all the previous events were undone.
And because it was undone, the universe imploded and started over.
So there was once a young mouse named Matthias... ;D ;D ;D ;D
He got in a Turbo-Booster™ space-ship.
That couldn't fly.
It could walk, however, so he walked it to Florida.
But Drol Hsa attacked.
But the ships force fields kept him away.
And Napoleon Bonaparte drove his warship towards them.
However, Napoleon got pulled over for driving his ship without wearing a seatbelt.
And so Genghis Khan gave him a ticket.
Ghengis Khan was killed by El Cid.
El Cid was suddenly confronted with the business end of one of John Wayne's revolvers, with the Duke himself holding the six-shooter.
El Cid ran John Wayne through with a sword.
Then Attila the hun came with his hordes.
So El Cid ran and hid in the mountains with the Grinch.
Together, they plotted to steal Easter...
But instead they started the war between the Greeks and Persians by stealing Esther! ;D ;D ;D ;D
Which left both sides venerable for an attack by the Mongol army.
The Mongols were led by Cleopatra and her boyfriend, Mark Antony.
But then Cleopatra got stabbed by a Morgul blade.
Marc Antony tore off his mask and revealed that he was actually Caesar.
But Cleopatra survived.
But Cleopatra was already alive, so she died.
But then Rudolph became king of the world killing Ceaser.
But then Cleopatra's ghost came and haunted Rudolph for no reason at all. Rudolph died after 2 years of this, 'cause he tried to escape by jumping down a well.
Ledthion, who was watching, smiled to see the death and destruction.
Zieroth, who had recently escaped from a wormhole, kicked Ledthion off the ledge he was standing on. He then proceeded to smile at the death and destruction.
But it was only a robot; the real Ledthion had turned invisible, and was smiling as he watched the death and destruction (Ledthion secretly hated himself for all the evil deeds he did, so he was pleased to see his likeness in the robot destroyed).
But Drol Hsa had a spear duel with him and won.
So Ledthion was buried by the local champion grave digger Cruman Tloggs.
Then Charlie the Mad Dentist sent Drol Hsa an appointment reminder.
Drol Hsa immediately ran for the hills, for he had heard many storys about Charlie's evil devices of torture. >:D
But two of Charlie's robots, who were made to look and act like Drol's parents, caught Drol and carried him into the office.
Struggling and kicking Drol Hsa was brought before the mad dentist who was pulling on gloves.
Charlie smiled brightly, exposing his shiny white teeth, and said, "Open wide!"
Drol Hsa screamed and kicked him in the face. He ran out, terrified.
Charlie frowned at his robots, and said "He's being a very bad boy today. He needs to be punished."
"Why must you do this to me?" Drol cried.
Charlie's robots caught Drol, dragged him back in, and strapped him into the chair; Charlie continued speaking as though nothing had happened: "Open wide. We need to see how bad your teeth are."
Drol started to calm down a little; he'd always had perfect teeth and flossed, brushed, and used mouth wash regularly.
Charlie looked in Drol's mouth, smiled, and said, "No cavities today, perfect! Your teeth will look great in my collection. Just let me get my handy-dandy tooth extractor here..."
Drol managed to free his arm and punch Charlie.
:-X
Charlie growled to his nurse robot, "Pass me the needle with the sedative."
"103836 Tomatoes," replied the nurse robot, whose batteries were in sore need of a recharge.
Charlie was annoyed, and ordered the Drol's-parents robots to hold Drol down while he got the sedative himself.
Just at that momemt, the parent-robots malfunctioned and thought they were serial killers.
Charlie, who had just gotten the sedative, turned to see his robots attempting to kill Drol.
But the Drol's-parents robots suddenly turned on Charlie.
:o
Charlie, who was quite irritated at this point with his malfunctioning equipment, triggered their hidden off-switches, which deactivated them and caused them to fall to the floor.
But then all of the robots' power cores began to overheat and melt, leaking fluorescent green radioactive waste on to the floor.
"I hate it when that happens," Charlie sighed. "Oh well, let's just get this over with." He brought the sedative needle out, and prepared to inject Drol with it.
Drol watched with wide eyes as the needle came towards him in slow motion with a orchestra playing in the background.
Just before the needle penetrated Drol's skin, injecting the sedative that would enable the mad dentist to take out all of Drol's teeth, someone off-camera screamed, "CUT!"
Then director Furry was angry and smacked the camera man.
"What Kind of Filming was that" He Lamented!
The movie, as it turned out, was being made by Wisney™ in an effort to appeal to more "mature" audiences.
It was a horror film, called "The New Revenge of the Phantom Dentist Who Struck Back".
But because the guy in the back kept yelling "cut" the movie was never finished.
But then he was fired, and the movie was rebranded as "The Return of the Mad Dentist's Attack", and scheduled to be released in 2016.
But do to budget cuts they weren't able to finish until 2018.
It was rated 7/10, being "low on special effects and high on cheese, but saved by the compelling villain".
It was also saved by the fact that it starred Jennifer Lawrence as the mom robot.
Unfortunately, this success inspired the studio to try to produce a prequel, called "The Mad Dentist's Internship".
Fortunately, North Korea nuked Wisney™ studios before the movie could be completed.
Then the United States Air Force nuked North Korea, destroying all of the country's leadership.
Then the Russians decided to take Korea and invaded.
Russia easily took North Korea, but couldn't figure out what to do with the country after they'd taken it.
So they sold it too India for Two Rubles.
This became known as the deal of the century for India, as the country's projected value had increased tenfold after being nuked.
But then a strange and evil disease spread from North Korea across most of Europe, causing a worldwide panic.
:o
But Ireland quickly developed an antidote and saved the world.
So India became a superpower and ruled the universe.
Meanwhile, the pizza delivery boy was late.
And the weird kid named Mikey attacked him and started eating the pizza box. Not the pizza, just the box.
Unfortunately, Mikey was allergic to cardboard.
And he broke out in hives.
But not before infecting the pizza boy with Borg nanotechnology.
But both of them were struck with Luddite rays, which destroyed all technology in and on them, including the pizza boy's cell phone.
The pizza boy was fine with this, as he had been planning to get a new iPhone for quite awhile.
Unfortunately, his boss had just texted him with new instructions, which he never got, his phone having been vaporized.
The pizza boy was fired the next day, and his boss hired a teenage girl named Arwen instead.
But because Arwen was annoying he fired her as well.
So he hired another guy named Burt Buttersby, who knew nothing about pizza.
Random smiley: :P
Burt Buttersby did know how to make butter, however, and he made vast stores of it.
His boss decided to sell it and it became a world wide favorite allowing him to become king of the world.
But Ireland overcame him.
The world was quickly overtaken by a secret cult of clover-worshipers, who controlled Ireland's government.
They were obsessed with circles and the number thirty-one. They were ruled by the Freemoderators.
But when the lawn mower man accidently cut all the clovers they all committed seppuku.
Everyone was horrified by this, and it was broadcasted all over the internet.
8)
Meanwhile, Charlie, best known for playing himself in a mad dentist film, was taking patients at his dentist's office.
When Ironically some kid named Jack walked into the office with a cavity.
But because the situation was not ironic, Jack died.
The dentist wanted Jack's teeth for dentures.
But Ahsayuni stole them.
So Charlie strapped Ahsayuni down, to extract his teeth instead.
Ahsayuni's teeth proved to be very valuable, and Charlie bought a space-station with the profits acquired from selling them.
He brought thousands of people to his space station every day to see his massive tooth collection which grew by every tourist.
But one night Jack's ghost came to him and told him that if he did not stop extracting people's teeth, he would pay a heavy price.
But Charlie didn't pay attention too Jack's ghost and pulled his ghostly teeth out to add to his collection.
And so Ahsayuni's companion Emogak killed Charlie.
But Charlie, who could regenerate, did so; then he pulled out all of Ahsayuni and Emogak's teeth.
Once he had their teeth he controlled them completely so they became his personal assassins.
Once they had assassinated everyone else in the world, they assassinated Charlie.
This was an intentional move on his part, to confuse some people who were hoping to destroy him; he wasn't actually hurt by being assassinated, as he just regenerated.
Then he sent them to collect everybody in the universe so he could pull their teeth.
By then Charlie realized that he had already collected all the teeth in the world.
That's why he wanted to get teeth from other worlds.
So he created a army of tooth hunter robots and invaded the tooth fairy's kingdom.
The tooth fairy had already gone bankrupt, however, and there wasn't much of her kingdom left to steal.
Then Charlie heard of a distant planet where the inhabitants' teeth regrew after being extracted.
He realized he could become rich from this, so he sent his tooth-hunter robots to the planet.
The planet, Orion, was guarded by a massive starship, the Guardian, which destroyed everything that entered the system with its mighty Death Ray.
So using the power of a trillion nashing teeth he created his own death ray.
The tooth fairy, whose name was Esta Comiendo, flew over to the beleaguered planet in hopes of rendering assistance.
But the Guardian attacked all comers, and fired its Death Ray directly at the tooth fairy!
The tooth fairy ducked.
But the Guardian attacked with another of its terrible weapons, a unerring homing plasma torpedo, which flew straight towards the tooth fairy.
She ate the torpedo. Not for nothing had she been named Esta Comiendo!
So the Guardian used the third and final of its mighty weapons, creating an artificial black hole right next to the tooth fairy; it began to suck her in at a speed greater than light.
But slower than the speed at which a butter pecan ice cream cone melts under the Caribbean sun, which was incidentally where a small boy from Montana was spending his winter break with his chinchilla, Otis.
He could only eat ice cream, jello and oatmeal because he had no teeth, courtesy of an aforementioned dentist, and his dentures hadn't come in the mail yet.
But, to Otis' envy, there were no limits to either the type or amount of food the boy could consume.
The boy's gums, you see, were incredibly strong.
So using the power of gums he challenged Charlie who had just finished conquering the other planet.
Unfortunately, teeth were stronger than gums, even incredibly strong ones.
Meanwhile, on the planet of Gorb 32, an alien named George was learning how to make human soup.
Unfortunately, he put too much cayenne pepper in it and nearly killed himself.
When his mouth finished smoking he discovered he now had teeth that shot fire.
Unfortunately, his wife was allergic to fire.
So he ended up having to go on a quest to find out how to get rid of his odd power.
One day he found Charlie the mad dentist who had the solution to his problem. He pulled the fire shooting teeth out.
Charlie was a human, so George put him in his soup.
"The soup" was a large swimming pool, with candy trees on every side.
But Charlie didn't know how to swim so he sank to the bottom.
His loyal robots, however, came to rescue him.
But due too the amount of salt in the water the robots rusted solid.
About that time, George's wife Georgia came in, and asked what George was making for dinner.
Knowing that his wife had a fear of humans, George tried to hide the soup "ingredient" from her.
But Georgia pushed his tentacle out of the way, sneezed, and said, "You must have gotten one of those awful humans. Don't you know I'm allergic to that?!? After all the years we've been married! I can't believe that you don't know better."
Realizing his mistake, George ate his wife, yum.
But by then, Charlie, who was protected from drowning by his regeneration power, had climbed out from the pool, and used the fire shooting teeth to shoot fire at George.
Leaving George a burning heap on the ground.
Suddenly, Charlie was devoured by a space-worm.
But Charlie used his new fire shooting teeth and burned his way out, then pulled all the space worms teeth.
Charlie soon found out that the "teeth" were actually smaller worms.
So they drilled tiny holes though him and took over his brain.
His fire-shooting teeth, left unattended, incinerated his body.
The worms were destroyed however Charlie regenerated and was as healthy as ever.
But since Charlie had already regenerated, he died again.
Yes, he died a hundred years later, of extreme old age.
But then time turned back, and erased all of history.
On prehistoric earth, a small bacterium was growing.
It was really boring so were going to fast forward a few thousand years.
Not much was happening then either
Suddenly, a trilobite appeared!
Then everything exploded! And in place of rocks, there were bipeds!!!!
The bipeds were purple with red spots.
They had flaxen hair like Glorfindel's.
And their favorite pastime was jumping up and down.
(http://www.animateit.net/data/media/218/Jumping_frog_2.gif)
Making them ultimately powerful.
So they decided to take over Walmart.
Which they did within the span of a few seconds.
They then ate all of the generic brand cheese.
Unfortunately, the cheese was poisoned.
So they all froze to death.
Along came a fluffy bunny.
It was so fluffy that everyone who came across it was instantly smothered to death.
The bunny wore a red shirt, written on the front in a friendly, swirly, font were these words: I am a bold bunny.
He believed these words until he ran into Fish the fish.
Fish the fish was a very fishy character, and no one really trusted him
Fish the fish wore a shirt that said: I am a clever fish.
Fish was actually terribly unclever.
So, he suspected nothing when Shark "Sharky" the card shark asked him if he liked fishsticks.
So when he went into the fish stick maker Sharky turned out to be Saruman.
Then Lobelia Sackville-Baggins attacked him with her umbrella.
The umbrella had a hook with bait on it, which caught Fish's fish attention.
He swam towards it but was foiled by Mini the minnow.
So Fish the fish fished a fishstick out of his pocket and attempted to bribe Mini with it.
....And then a volcano destroyed everything.
But it had already been destroyed, so it was brought back.
But it had already been brought back, so it was destroyed again.
But it had already been destroyed again, so it was again brought back again.
Soon a time paradox happened and a fish named Mini with an umbrella appeared.
Then a sentient McChicken appeared.
Unfortunately, it wasn't adapted to breathe in Earth's atmosphere, and it soon suffocated.
A Justin Bieber drank poisoned lime juice.
And the world was at peace again.
Until it imploded.
Because of various shiftings in it's core. All of it exploded because of a new word being made up!
A few people managed to escape and take a magical spaceship to Saturn.
Which proceeded to eat them. Thinking that they were his children.
That allusion ;D
The people gave him rocks to eat instead and flew their ship to the other side of the galaxy.
But then they were attacked by the Intergalactic Empire.
...Which was ruled by Irozeth. He enslaved the refugees and forced them to work in his "fun" camps.
Until they were liberated by Orland and his well-made sword; Urendald.
Orland's last name was Blomo...
(Is that from a book?)
Eventually because of embarrassment he changed it to Urpint.
(No.... You know, Orlando Bloom? The Limey (don't hit me, anyone) actor who played Legolas?)
Then Orland Urpint ate a ton of chocolate and primroses.
(Oh, wow, you are more obsessed than I thought!)
Until finally a revolt was led by Rathur and he took over Britain.
(What? He's famous. (Also, you may be happy to know that last year I heard he threw a punch at Justin Bieber. (And I heard this before I'd even seen LotR or really knew who he was. (Yes, I like sharing random facts.))))
Rathur's wife became a monk.
Which was quite odd. As women become nuns. ;D ;D ;D ;D
She also shaved a bald patch in her golden hair.
She had prior to becoming a monk helped Rathur's nephew, Romdred take over Britain. He failed but killed Rathur in the progress.
Whenever I hear the name "Orlando Bloom", I think of the guy who played Frodo... even though I know once I think about it that's not his name.
Everyone was secretly glad, as Rathur was a poor king, more interested in going on adventures than improving the lot of the people in his kingdom.
The kingdom was happy for sometime until the rebel Koren the Dishwasher rebelled and started killing the aristocrats.
But the rebel was killed and the King of Gaulois, Louis XVI invaded.
But Koren the Dishwasher had only faked his death and ambushed the king's Ferrari on the road with a band of married men.
Then the king's dog started to moan at the top of its lungs, rendering everyone that was in range to hear it permanently deaf.
So everyone there asked the insurance company HearaLot for their insurance money.
HearaLot was not a real insurance company, and was actually just another one of Irozeth's fiendish plots.
Then a whistleblower blew the whistle on HearaLot.
The a Whistling Gypsy came over the hill and down to the valley so shady.
But the insurance company kidnapped the gypsy and brought him to their boss.
Irozeth ordered him to be cryogenically frozen, thawed, and then frozen once more.
Then he broke free. "And he won the heart of a laaaaadyy." (It's from a song called the Whistling Gypsy. ;D)
The lady he won the heart of happened to be Medusa.
Thus, you can guess what happened as soon as he stared lovingly into her eyes.
But because his blood had been frozen then unfrozen then frozen again then unfrozen once again he was immune to her power.
They then eloped to the Lonely Mountain.
Dain Ironfoot, who was busy being awesome, didn't notice them.
But since he was a dwarf it was impossible for him to be busy being awesome. So he noticed what they were doing.
But he was late to the party, so he didn't ask any questions.
So he was clueless. Which was a bad thing as the next thing on the agenda was a huge game of Clue.
Colonel Mustard had committed the murder with the revolver in the billiard room.
But when the two hosts looked up they realized all the other players had been turned too stone.
So Sherlock arrested Colonel Mustard.
But Colonel Mustard had another revolver, and shot him with it.
Since Sherlock was Sherlock, he disappeared in a cliffhanger.
Unfortunately, he was left literally hanging off of a cliff, attached to it only by an unbreakable chain around his wrist.
So everyone moped until Sherlock Season 2, where he came back to earth.
Dr. Watson had had to remove his right hand to rescue him, so the second season focused mainly on Sherlock's adapting to life with one hand.
Sherlock's hand later became the subject of a B-grade horror movie.
(Okay, I just burst out laughing. How on earth do you come up with these things, Iz?)
In the B-grade horror movie, the hand mysteriously took over some hapless guy's hand and made him write weird messages in Latin.
(Does anyone know at all what I'm talking about here?)
Then a fog horn sounded because of the handception
Obviously, the movie was a huge success.
But then when a sequel didn't come, the crowd rioted.
Then when a sequel came, they rioted.
They rioted so much that it cause an earthquake
Then they rioted.
Then the Cubs won the World Series!
And they rioted.
Then the riot police came and shot flash grenades into the crowd.
But the flash grenades were ineffective because the people had all been turned to stone when Medusa came out to see what was going on.
At that point, Chuck Norris came and killed everybody.
Somebody asked a fireman, who had just come back to the department after putting out a fire, if he knew anything about this, and he said, "Chuck Norris? Never heard of her."
(These are hilarious)
Some people got mad at the fireman for not knowing Chuck Norris and kicked him into the Bottomless Pit of Despair.
And then the people rioted.
The rioters were also kicked in the Bottomless Pit of Despair.
Then OtterSherlock solved the mystery of the bottomless pit.
He discovered it was simply a portal too three seconds ago and the people were simply stuck in an infinite time loop.
Then OtterSherlock tried to destroy the portal.
But he failed
(That idea just serves to remind me of BlazBlue)
Then OtterWatson comes to the rescue and destroys it :D.
(Wow, and my original goal for this thread was 15 pages... :P)
Then the world rioted.
And because of all the riots, the world became a post-apocalyptic world that was similar to the Middle Ages.
A small, hairy-footed creature known as one of the Holbytla then invented the telephone.
Everyone loved the new invention, and instantly bought one.
However, the telephone was secretly a mind-control machine.
So the mind control police force arrested everyone that bought one which was everyone.
So the mind control police arrested themselves.
Which didn't work so they released everyone they arrested including themselves.
But the telephones were plotting together, and used their powers to mind-control everyone in the world.
The only ones not under the telephones control were the Mind Control Police.
They were under the control of the telephones' arch-enemies, the mind-controlling telegraphs!
So everyone decided to move to a distant island to get away from all the mind-controlling telephones and telegraphs.
But they only decided this in their sleep; whenever they were awake, they were being mind-controlled and could not decide to leave it.
And so they sleepwalked to the island.
However, they were being mind-controlled in their sleep by the mortal enemies of both the telephones and the telegraphs, the evil mind-controlling telescopes!!!
Galileo, who was the leader of the telescope faction, got into a fight with Morse.
So everyone rioted.
But they were already rioting, so they stopped.
Then they fell screaming into the Bottomless Pit of Despair.
Then the Scottish and the Danish took over the galaxy.
And Sir Thomas More wrote a book entitled Dystopia.
It got one review from New York Times that stated "Trash, good for the fireplace."
So Sir Thomas More rioted.
Henry I of Czechoslovakia slew More in combat and proclaimed himself dictator of the world.
Henry I was a megalomaniac, and actually had only a tiny little fiefdom, but he thought he ruled the world.
He was such a bad ruler that all his subjects just ignored him and went on with their lives.
Eventually, Henry I got so angry that he ran after them, but in his fury he fell into the Bottomless Pit of Despair.
Which was really just a metaphor for Kentucky.
Now that he saw the metaphor, he found himself magically transported to Kentucky.
When Henry VII challenged him to a duel.
He reached for his sword, but found his only weapon was a rubber chicken.
So Henry VII slew him with a single sword thrust.
And then accidentally slew himself with a backward strike.
A thousand years later, a random guy came along and saw the sword (which had not rusted) lying there on the ground.
He picked it up an he was transported the wonderful world of Ooz
Which, to readers unacquainted with Ooz, is basically the opposite of Oz.
So he followed the purple brick road to the Horrible Warlock of Ooz.
Along the way, he met a cat called Toto, a bold lion, a scarecrow who was not unlike Einstein, and the most caring tin man to ever exist.
The horrible Warlock of Ooz ordered them to find the Kind Witch of the West and tickle her to death.
However, she fell on a house and died before they could get to her.
So, they went to the land of the Kind Witch of the East, to find that she had melted, and was being put into a pool of water to recover.
The guy, whose name happened to be Orthdea, gave the Witch of the East the West's eyeball.
However, the eyeball was really just a peeled grape, so the Witch of East flew into an ungodly rage.
And so a group of flying apes removed the Witch from existance.
So the evil witch from the north came and captured the random guy named Orthdea.
Orthdea was late for his orthodontist appointment.
With the crazy dentist Charlie so the mad ruler of the world came and found Orthdea in Ooz.
The evil Witch of the North came and defenestrated Charlie, and then proceeded to torture Orthdea.
But Charlie survived, and threw a pair of house slippers up at the Witch's head, knocking her out.
But a wild Ohju (It's a huge shiny wolf bird) ate him.
Then the ohju imploded and created a black hole.
Charlie used his regeneration powers to survive and left that part of the galaxy.
And then they rioted.
Because the government would share their Ice cream sandwiches.
On that planet, everyone hates ice cream, yes indeed they do.
Which explains why, every day, the people made sacrificial offerings of vanilla icecream and chocolate icecream to the gods of spinach and carrots, respectively.
These 'gods' were actually aliens from outer space, who transported down spinach and carrots in exchange for the ice cream.
But one man angered the gods because he actually liked Ice Cream and ate it every day.
The "gods" smote him with a burn ray.
And everyone cheered, because he was obviously a freak of nature.
The world where they lived was also known as hidden valley.
And then a huge flock of Ohju destroyed all that was in hidden valley.
But they missed the cabbage patch.
Then a maiden from South Africa named Gertrude came along, and with her magic fixed everything up.
So everyone celebrated by eating her...
They figured that, while it was "quite barbaric" to eat most animals, Homo Sapiens was an obvious exception.
So the Ohjus feasted on human flesh.
But then a bunch is space sharks invaded the world of Hidden Valley.
But a huge force of Tohdas ((https://angryjellyfish.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/ss_kemono_no_souja_erin_-_01_755381d3-avi_snapshot_20-16_2012-01-12_16-01-50.jpg)) stopped them.
The sharks were angry at being stopped, and formed into a sharknado.
So everyone (and everything except the sharks) went into a huge hidden bunker.
But the sharks had iron teeth so they ripped into the bunker.
As the people were being mercilessly devoured, they cried out to Eru for help.
But Eru was in the shower so he didn't hear them.
Darth Sauron, who was watching from a hidden camera, cackled as he watched his sharknado tear into the bunker.
Obi Wan Kenobi the Grey uses the Force to lift all the helpless victims out of the water an on to dry land.
But the Force fell asleep, and they all fell to their deaths.
And the sharks feasted.
Then the Nautilus appeared and cut all of them apart with its steel prow.
Captain Nemo tore off his mask, revealing himself to be Luke Skywalker.
Who was endlessly screaming the sharks weren't his father.
And the people rioted...
Along came a fluffy pink bunny named Duracell.
The Emperor sent Darth Vader to confront this bunny.
But Duracell had long lasting power so he defeated Darth Vader.
A horde of Amish people then attacked Duracell.
But his long lasting power lasted out and he defeated them with the wonders of the internet.
Duracell then set out to conquer the entire galaxy with a piece of technology in each paw.
But even though he had long lasting power, he could not outlast his greatest enemy, the Energizer Bunny.
Using his hypercharged drum, the energizer bunny beat the stuffing out of Duracell.
And the people rioted...
And then all the kaiju decided to have a party which involved destroying a lot of stuff.
And then all the kaiju and "the people" who kept rioting got into an ultimate battle of destruction, killing all of them, and neither party was ever heard from again in the history of the universe.
Then, in a far off desert, a tree started growing.
Its name was Bob, and it was a good tree.
It had a neighbor tree named Bill. He was an okay tree, but not as good as Bob.
Bill was envious of Bob's success, a fact Bob was blissfully unaware of.
Paul Bunyan, who had just finished clearing North America of its forests, happened upon Bob and Bill one day.
A little furry orange thing with a large yellow mustache climbed up Paul Bunyan and began screaming "UNLESS!" into his ear.
This orange thing, as you may have guessed, was the Lorax. What you may not have known was that he was one of the lesser-known tree guardians Yavanna had created.
Yavanna had also created Bigfoot, but for whatever reason he ended up a disappointment
So Paul squished the lorax like a bug and chopped down Bob
But Bob had explosive sap inside of him, and when he was chopped down, he exploded, destroying Paul Bunyan.
So the medical team led by Dr Frankenstein put Paul back together again.
Due to some mistakes, Paul was now two feet tall and red-haired.
Then an army of Ents tore Paul Bunyan apart.
A grove of huorns then came and finished the job.
But Paul now a regeneration powers and he killed all the tree people.
However, because Paul was already alive, he died again.
So all the population of Treeville rejoiced, and Paul Bunyan's corpse was paraded through the streets. But then his axe suddenly became magical and started chopping down trees.
So the tree people fled in panic from the magical axe.
Suddenly, John Henry appeared.
But then he disappeared.
And reappeared again!
And then exploded!
Which killed him but it stopped the magical axe in the process.
The magical axe started trading on the stock market.
This was a breach of logic, which ripped a hole in the time-space continuum.
Through that hole came the sinister, evil, and megalomaniacal...
..abomination known as Bob the Tomato.
Who was constantly battling against his arch-nemesis...Larry Boy!
Bob had once been a good tomato, but he had been changed by a mutation, which left him with creepy blue eyes.
And constantly singing about a weed that told lots of rumours.
He was more man now than tomato, twisted and evil.
He was easily angered and tortured his enemies by spraying tomato juice in their face.
But for all of his faults, he never told any lies.
Instead, he just blew people up with nitroglycerin.
One day he spilt weird green stuff that he had been experimenting with all over himself. This made him mutate even more, and he grew hooves and bunny ears.
He learned that his bunny ears could stretch for miles.
And could shoot lasers.
They were also made of sand.
And could change color, as well as change shape.
One day, he saw someone he hadn't seen in a long time, his former friend turned enemy, Larry.
Suddenly, weird 70s music began playing.
Bob said, "I've been waiting for you, Larry; we meet again, at last."
So they had an epic battled using beyblades.
Suddenly, Larry died.
And Bob jumped up and yelled "I am victorious!"
Freddy Mercury suddenly appeared.
(*Freddie)
Then the rest of Queen appeared and gave a rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody before disappearing again
But Bob didn't like there music because he was a tomato so he ordered them to be found and executed.
But then Larry Boy came and screamed; "I am that hero!" Then he incarcerated Bob.
In a galaxy far, far away, a cat was putting ice cubes in a blender.
When the Bat Mobile flew by shooting lasers at droids.
The Batmobile flipped on its side, exploding in a shower of koolade.
Then the Larrymobile came and saved the day...and the people rioted.
But the people got tiered of rioting because the government was gone so they all went home.
But then the people formed a true democracy and chaos reigned because the population numbered 100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000.
But there were so many people that there wasn't enough oxygen for all of them, and the planet's atmosphere was shortly filled with carbon dioxide, and everybody choked, suffocated and died, and the plant men took over the world.
But then the world squared itself 32 times and added many trees and anything necessary for the survival of the human race at that population number.
It didn't matter, of course, as all humans had already died.
But then they were released from their cryogenic state on the planet earth!
Little did those humans on Earth know that, while they were asleep, one person, Ledthion, had escaped cryogenic storage, built an army of evil robots, and bulldozed the world to put in a massive shopping mall and palace for himself.
But he was really a good guy trying to stop evil Games from destroying all industry in favor of extreme environmentalism.
The Ledthion Robot Army's motto, printed on a billion scraps of paper, was "The only good tree is a dead tree".
When a mix of the two came together in the form of Thiondel and he loved forests, but understood the need for industry.
But Games Jryphon IV and Ledthion hated Thiondel even more than each other, and teamed up to destroy him.
But Thiondel had the strength of a thousand civilizations helping him, and he quickly was set up as ruler of the western hemisphere.
So Ledthion built a planetary death sphere capable of almost but not quite destroying planets, and Games Jryphon ("the Fourth", not the real one) called upon the legions of water and the legions of plants, and with their combined strength, they rained massive catastrophic death and destruction across the entire planet.
So earth was destroyed and since Thiondel hadn't reached earth yet he resettled on a now habitable Mars.
But he disturbed the gravesite of the true, original Games Jryphon, so Games' grave-protecting robots began to haunt him.
But since he was dead they didn't have anyone to haunt.
Thiondel, you see, had died when a giant Martian death robot stepped on top of him.
The giant Martian death robot enjoyed bouncy houses.
But these bouncy houses were only a cover for Thiondel's massive clone army.
Thiondel's clone army was actually working for Iezorth, the evil ruler of a parallel universe.
Who was rather worthless because he was dead. The clones had been under the control of Danwaps for a while.
Danwaps, however, was really just a reincarnation of Iezorth.
But the clones were cloned from Thiondel and were unwaveringly loyal too him.
And Iezorth was completely separated from Danwaps.
Iezorth, Danwaps, and Thiondel were sitting in a room when it blew up.
Using an escape pod, Iezorth fled to his secret base on Alpha Centauri.
But Alpha Centauri blew up and he ded.
It was blew up by a stream of star material from a nearby star, and since it had gone beyond the TOV limit, it became a black hole, and it sucked Iezorth in, and he got spit out somewhere near Betelgeuse from a white hole, and then got cremated when he fell in to Betelgeuse, however, his spirit floated back to Danwaps's base.
Since Danwap's base (along with everything else in Earth's solar system) had been destroyed by Alpha Centauri's explosion, Iezorth's spirit was doomed to forever wander the stars.
However, he kept Horcruxing himself inside of himself, and soon, the whole galaxy was full of Iezorths.
So they fought a vicious battle with Thiondel's clone army.
Meanwhile, in Poland, two brothers were eating cake...
Which got interrupted by the massive battle when Thiondel's clones fired a massive death ray and Iezorths replicas fire the death star and the two beams collided destroying thousands of planets and singing the brothers eating cake.
"The brothers eating cake! The brothers eating cake!" the clones sang.
Then their sister Sonia ran in, stole the cake, and ran out, laughing.
Then everybody agreed to peace and told yo mama jokes.
While Sonia gorged herself on cake while the clones kept signing while everyone told Yo mamma jokes.
The cake was actually a horcrux of Iezorth, however, and his spirit possessed everyone who had eaten it.
Which was just Sonia.
But there was a fifth-dimensional shift and Iezorth died forever in every universe.
So the Bacon knights held a ceremony in the memory of Iezorath.
But then Kevin Bacon killed some boots.
Because the boots were already dead, they came alive.
Which made no sense so they died.
And the shoemakers revolted.
So the elves (Who had actually made the shoes) Got angry and started killing shoemakers.
Then the chickens died.
So the elves killed more shoemakers in retaliation.
But the chickens destroyed the world when they died...along with the elven shoemakers.
The human shoemakers escaped in rocketships.
Which hit the moon.
Which was actually a giant robot named Dave.
Dave saved the ships.
Then Dave realized he was a big robot and he was hungry so he ate the ships
But then Dave threw up.
Meanwhile, in a galaxy far, far away, the frozen body of Ledthion Jr. was picked up by a research vessel that happened to be passing near his old base.
The research vessel belonged to an evil invisible king. The vessel's crew got drunk and steered the vessel into an unknown planet, and Ledthion Jr. got exploded into a million pieces.
Then the malicious commander V captured these pieces and put them in a
bio-tank
Then the biotank exploded because it hates pop music.
And then Ledthion Jr. came back to life, and met Akkuj eht Gnils.
Akkuj eht Gnils killed Ledthion Jr. because everyone was tired of Izeroth and Delthion reincarnating themselves endlessly.
So Eolraks killed Neros with her signature pressure cooker move.
Quote from: Dibbun Against Bedtime on April 25, 2015, 01:42:42 PM
Akkuj eht Gnils killed Ledthion Jr. because everyone was tired of Izeroth and Delthion reincarnating themselves endlessly.
OOC: I've barely reincarnated myself!!! And just in case you didn't notice Akkuj eht Gnils is Jukka.
But everyone ignored Delthions angry rant and went on their merry way, so he quietly plotted revenge.
However, Delthion had no one to revenge on, so he revenged upon himself.
He ended up listening to music he hated for five hours straight, which made him lose his mind and run down the street screaming, "AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"
He ran into Edalbyks.
Edalbyks was a mad nurse who wished to be just like her hero Charlie the mad dentist. Except she collected Hair.
Then Wapd Nastl threw up on Edalbyks.
So she cut off all his hair and added it to her growing collection.
Then Emitdeb Tsniaga Nubbid came along and set off fireworks on Edalbyks's head and destroyed her hair collection.
But ETN was no match for the powerful Edalbyks so she defeated him in battle and sent him to bed against his will.
The "bed" was actually a cryogenic chamber.
Which got launched into orbit.
And then crashed into Dave the giant robot moon.
Which got mysteriously destroyed by a laser beam.
Which came from Games Jryphon II's secret base.
Who was murdered by Ledthion Jr.
And all of this mayhem and destruction was observed by little Mollie Lou Lemon from her second story bedroom window in a small town in Pennsylvania through the telescope she'd gotten as a present for her 5th birthday from her aunt and uncle.
Who was then killed by Aynab.
The police arrested Aynab for her horrible act of murdering a five year old. She would be tried by a court of angry lemurs and have turtle for a judge.
The lemurs were angry because they hated five-year-olds, and didn't want to try anyone who did something against one.
At night, the lemurs helped Aynab slip away unnoticed; she changed her appearance and resolved from then on to only maim and not kill five-year-olds.
While she was walking along, she tripped and stumbled over a four-year-old.
She ran away screaming, thinking it was a five-year-old.
Then Aynab found herself surrounded by five-year-olds named Karzs wielding feathers!
She got tickled until she laughed so much that she got drunk (off of laughing :P).
Then everybody in the universe sat on the floor for story time.
Because everyone was waiting for the story, there was no one to actually tell it.
Until Games Jryphon II exploded.
But as Aynab watched the dust settle with wide eyes, the meaning of everything suddenly made sense; it was like being born-again, and she resolved to change her ways.
She realized that she needed to change her name to Yaif and goes around killing people that are insane.
So she creates a black hole and falls into it.
She was then transported to a alternate universe that was being ruled by the angry genius Tejj.
But Tejj was a weasel with sandy paws.
So he died.
Yiaf became ruler of that universe.
Until she mysteriously disappeared.
She was stuck in the endlessly tiny 9th dimension (according to string theory).
But then a tea cup fell off a table, causing the unstable dimension to collapse.
The random teacup's life then ended by smashation.
And Games Jryphon imploded.
And all the world rejoiced. But then an earthquake came and ruined their party.
And Fëanor ruined it by having a kinslaying.
But his son Maedhros befriended everyone in the universe. Except Morgoth, an up-and-coming Dark Lord.
((If you guys haven't already figured it out, Maedhros is, like, my favorite Fëanorian.))
So Morgoth killed Maedros and stomped on his fortress.
Unfortunately for him, the fortress had spikes on it, and the spikes sliced up the so-called dark lord's feet.
His feet were hurting pretty badly and were kind of a mess, so he had to use a wheelchair for a few weeks; this clearly did nothing to help him advance to Dark Lord status.
Then Tejj resurrected and created Middle Earth.
But since Middle Earth already existed, it disappeared.
A moment later, the Milky Way galaxy and the Andromeda galaxy collided.
The Whirlpool galaxy, which hadn't collided with anything important in billions of years, looked on with jealousy.
And then the Whirlpool Galaxy collided with Andromeda and the Milky Way.
This tore apart the fabric of the universe, causing a rift in space and time.
And Hsa entered the rift.
Hsa found Meedl Airf in the rift.
The rift was a key part of Games Jryphon IV's secret plot.
A secret plot which he'd written out on a napkin in a coffee shop and foolishly titled "SECRET PLOT," and which the spies ordered to follow him stealthily stole by spilling his porcelain cup of tea, causing him to fly into unprecedented rage.
Games went on a rampage throughout the city, smashing cars and melting people with his laser-vision.
But Satthiam270, who had become ancient, tiny, green, and now walked with a cane, stepped outside of his hut and confronted Games IV.
"You shall not pass!" said Satthiam.
He backed up his warning by blowing up Games IV's cape, using only the power of his mind.
This was just another in a series of events that was causing Games to have the worst day ever.
Suddenly, a regiment of Infantry fired at James, mounting bayonets and charging along with a regiment of Lancers.
James crushed both regiments, but lost one-tenth of his health points in the process.
This "James" was King James IV, King of Scots, and had nothing to do with Games IV.
Meanwhile, Games IV was eating a BLT.
Then Squilchibonbonwikiwokzubopayee IX of Johanbergesland smashed a chicken into the peaceful community of Istjzrjzkyxykolxukdylhdlydylculvbhsgjugtjiyfhjqwertyuiop.
Games remained unfazed.
Games IV, on the other hand, started freaking out.
Games IV had found a small green worm in his apple; it truly was the worst day ever.
This was because the worm had deleted all the work he had done on his project, which he had needed to complete so that he could get a good grade in his class.
As a result, Games IV got an 89 in that class and missed the A Honor Roll.
Totally not based off a real life experience.
As a result of all this, when Satthiam said, "You shall not pass", rather than running away (as would have been the sensible thing to do), Games IV was infuriated and attacked the old man with his laser vision!
Satthiam, who had forgotten to wear an energy shield, was instantly vaporized.
Satthiam270, however, was not destroyed.
Old yet agile, Satthiam270 escaped Games IV's laser vision without Games IV's taking notice of it; satisfied, and with smoking eyes, Games IV continued on his way.
He went to Starbucks and ordered a frappé.
Everyone shouted, "FRAPPÉ IS DEATH! FRAPPÉ IS DEATH!"
Satthiam270 drank his frappé anyway.
And promptly died a permanent death.
But this made him more powerful than Games IV could possibly imagine, and he reappeared as a blue ghost in the Starbucks.
However, it disappeared and Satthiam270 reappeared with "Permanent Death" tattooed on his forehead.
Satthiam270 reappeared in front of Games IV, and warned him, "In grave danger you are."
Before Games IV could react, a ray of cosmic energy struck the Starbucks, scattering its atoms across the fabric of space and time.
Satthiam270 cackled maniacally.
Then Mysterious Joe walked in.
And the people rioted...
The government, which was quite fed up with all the rioting, unleashed a horde of savage orcs upon the people.
All the people got eaten, and then a bomb blew up all of the orcs, and the only living beings left were Satthiam, Mysterious Joe, and one skin cell that used to be a part of Games IV.
And the people rioted...
In an alternate universe, Ledthion replied, "I do", and glanced at his beautiful bride-to-be, Sukka the Jling, taking in every part of her reaction to his lifelong vow.
Suddenly, a man ran into the chapel and shouted "objection!"
The man's name was Neros.
Neros drew a blaster and began pulverizing people.
Ledthion, fearing for his life, tried to hide behind Sukka the Jling, not seeming to notice that she was considerably smaller than him.
Phoenix Wright, however, had pulled a copyright claim on Neros and some police came to arrest him.
Ledthion was exuberant, and said to Sukka, "Now we can be married!"
At that moment, the Earth's core imploded.
As the Earth was in a different universe, though, it had no effect on our heroes.
Our "heroes" then got into an argument about the culinary usefulness of tomatoes.
In a galaxy far far away, Mel was bored.
He decided to log onto the Drywall Abbey forum.
That forum focused on a series of books written by Jrian Bacques.
And the people rioted...
Ledthion beamed as the officiating captain said, "You may kiss the bride".
And the people rioted... ;D ;D
The two lovers kissed for so long that Ledthion ran out of air and passed out, right there on the bridge.
Sukka poured salt on Ledthion, hoping he would wake; as newly-newlyweds, she had yet to take out a life insurance policy on her husband.
Meanwhile, Sky was standing outside playing a flute, glad it wasn't her being written about like this ;)
Skyshare, along with Nussa Rodrey and Rady Lamber, had been a bridesmaid in the party.
In addition to being a bridesmaid, Sky had been asked by the bride to play her flute at the wedding; at sweetly emotional music, Sky was unparalleled.
Ledthion, prior to the vows and the suffocation-inducing kiss, had cried in happiness, both from hearing the beautiful music and the unreal thought that he would soon be married to the woman of his dreams.
:D
Suddenly, Games Jryphon and Banye entered the chapel.
Games laughed and smiled to see Ledthion unconscious on the floor, and said to Sukka, "I know the perfect way to wake him up."
Sukka, concerned about Ledthion, inquired as to what that way might be.
Games being evil and tyrannical said that if she stood Ledthion up and kicked him three times as hard as she could, he would wake up.
And Sukka kicked him.
"That's not nearly hard enough," Games said, with a sigh.
Sukka kicked him harder. When it didn't work, she turned to face the church and announced impishly, "Since Ledthion won't wake up, Banye and Games will get married here instead."
Games sneered. "What's this "instead", woman? You both already took your vows!"
Ledthion being shocked leaped up and said, "Yes, what is this?"
Mhero stood up and told Sukka and Ledthion to suck it up since they were already married, while Skyshare and Plugg Tailfire slowly backed away and The Tale Of Tierra shrugged and continued working on an animation.
Ledthion then pushed Plugg and Sky to the location where one would say their vows.
Unfortunately, Skyshare and Plugg Tailfire's families were certain that any hypothetical marriage between the two would be unhappy, as they bitterly hated each other.
The Tale of Tierra suddenly stood up and shouted, "PLOT TWIST!"
The alleged ship captain officiating the wedding took off a hidden face mask to reveal that he was really Games Jryphon II; both Gameses laughed maniacally.
Mhero, also laughing manically, took a selfie with both Gameses.
Skyshare didn't like selfies, so she started beating Mhero with a selfie stick while pointing out the irony of her weapon of choice.
In retaliation, Mhero forced Skyshare to drink dumpster juice.
Unfortunately Skyshare enjoyed it, so Mhero had to come up with a different mechanism of revenge. She asked the Gameses if they had any suggestions.
They suggested that Mhero give Skyshare a BLT.
Mhero thought this was an excellent idea and made Skyshare a brussels sprout, Lima bean, and turnip sammich.
Banye took the opportunity to quietly slip out of the church during all the commotion.
Suddenly, the priest who was originally supposed to perform the ceremony entered the building. "What is this?" He inquired.
"This is on my ship," both Gameses said simultaneously, with identical sneers.
The priest tore off his mask, revealing himself to be Ledthion Jr.
Ledthion Jr. was a time traveller, hence his being present at an event that took place before he was born.
Ledthion Jr. quickly slew both Gameses.
...And then died himself, realizing that he had never been anything more than a pawn.
He was a pawn of the rook, who planned on galaxy domination.
And Neros sat in the corner, on his iPad, reading the Drywall forum, saying how much he had forgotten how good the Everlasting story thread was.
Neros soon realized that something was terribly wrong.
Because he was in a corner in a small run down and abandoned hotel in Serbia that was being run by the Mob.
Just then Neros got an email from a Rigatonian prince urgently in need of money.
And Neros sent the prince a bad check.
The prince suddenly appeared in the room, demanding a proper check, along with some seeds to plant in his garden.
So Neros gave him a proper check and smuggled Rady Lamber out of the country in the box of seeds.
But Rady Lamber was smarter than Neros thought she was, and promptly snuck out of the box. She then proceeded to dump manure on him.
So Neros say in the manure, and pondered his future.
But he ended up never having a future, because he died from getting infected by microscopic worms that were in the manure.
But Rady Lamber had died before him because of handling the manure.
But she had actually faked her death, for the manure had been in an invisible container, making it look as if she were handling it with her bare hands, although in reality she wasn't.
Almost immediately after faking her death, however, Rady Lamber had been actually killed by an invisible nerve toxin.
Which had been administered to her by Neros, who had also faked his death and went after her for revenge.
Rady Lamber then started singing "Let It Go" at an ear-piercing 200 decibels.
But since she was already dead, nothing happened.
Actually, something did happen, because it was her ghost singing. Many people were confused by the idea of a ghost singing a Disney song, so they sent a brave reporter to interview Rady Lamber's spirit.
And the universe with the reports in it exploded because Neros had hacked the all-powerful Bulgarian Internet.
Only one brave ant named Bug lived.
Considering that Bug's lifespan was only several months anyway, however, there wasn't really much he could do.
So, in despair he killed himself, accidentally reawakening Ledthion and Sukka the Jling.
Who, being the only two survivors of the universe, repopulated it together.
They repopulated it by building self-replicating humanoid robots.
Unfortunately, the robots rose against their creators.
So Ledthion, Sukka, and their many children built a robot-destroying space house, and traveled the galaxy in it.
And eventually Ledthion and Sukka has so many children that they didn't have any more room in the space house, and had to settle on a planet.
All of these children, save one (who they named Ledthion Jr.), were girls.
One day Nussa Rodrey came to visit her favorite niece, Flo.
Nussa, Ledthion and Sukka's daughter, was very upset by the fact that her aunt didn't like her the best.
So she cryogenically froze all of her siblings, making it appear to be an accident.
And far away in the Eternal Story thread on the Drywall Abbey forums, Niothled had Deja Vu.
Thanks to the Deja Vu, the Drywall Abbey forum exploded, which made the cryogenically frozen siblings unfrozen. Since they wanted revenge on Flo, they cursed her to wander an uninhabited planet forever.
She wandered into the animation Submarines by Pixel Entertainment.
Meanwhile, in a galaxy far, far away, Ledthion Jr. was planning another fiendish scheme...
...which immediately backfired, causes his evil apprentice, Nussa III to cryofreeze him and take over as evil mastermind.
But since he was already frozen, Nussa unfroze him.
Causing Neros VI, from the future, to come in a freeze both of them.
Neros VI was then sucked into a black hole.
And the subsequent heat from the star going into supernova, melted the large family.
..Into piles of blackened ash.
But then a large bomb went of, this made everything and everyone come back to life for no reason.
While all this was happening, a pizza boy knocked on the door of a house that looked suspiciously like it was at the wrong address.
The owner of the house was Sukka, who took the pizza and cooked the pizza boy in an oven.
She did this because her husband's whining about how her cooking "wasn't like what mama made" had driven her insane.
Her husband, Ledthion meanwhile, had gone a whole 2 years without gnawing on someone, a streak soon to end.
"What's for dinner? Don't we have any food?" Ledthion whined; Sukka was so annoyed that she kicked him.
Ledthion fell over dead right then.
Sukka smirked when she saw that Ledthion was dead, as, with their seventeen kids at the baby-sitter's, this meant she could have the whole meal to herself.
She not only ate the pizza boy and the pizza, but her husband as well, thus hiding any evidence.
Somehow, in spite of consuming three hundred pounds at one sitting, she retained her girlish figure.
The pizza boy's spirit, who was a little angry about being cooked, cursed Sukka with eternal hunger and thirst.
Sukka wasn't bothered by this, as she stood to gain a billion dollars from her currently late husband's life insurance policy, more than enough money to take care of her for the rest of her life.
Sukka would later find out, much to her surprise and anger, that the insurance consisted of one billion Yugoslavian dollars.
She didn't remain upset for long, however, as she knew her husband would inevitably come back to life, and that when he did she could get a different policy and try again.
Ledthion had foreseen this, however, and included a no-revive specification in his will.
It was signed on Opposite Day, so nobody was surprised when Ledthion showed up at the house on Sukka's birthday.
At which time, one of Sukkas children, Nussa, flew to India and became a world-class Chef.
She specialized in preparing insects.
And her favorite dish to make was larve-wrapped Ledthion.
Her mother Sukka had the only source of Ledthion Sr., and wasn't inclined to share, so Nussa used Ledthion Jr. for her work.
Nussa wrapped Ledthion Jr. in larve and fed it to some hungry townspeople.
Nussa Rodrey decided to visit her beloved niece. When she arrived at her house she discovered that Neros was also visiting Nussa, along with his new wife, Rady Lamber.
But Nussa Sukka's daughter was upset at Nussa Rodrey because Nussa Rodrey liked Nussa Sukka's daughter's sister Flo better.
Neros and Lamber weren't really married, they were faking it because they were part of an FBI sting operation to arrest cannibals
But really they were just pretending to pretend to be married.
And they arrested Nussa for cannibalism.
...which she felt was totally unfair as she never actually ate any of her cooking (as that would be gross).
So the FBI Director made them change the charges to Murder 1.
The day of Nussa's court trial came up; her older sister Guinevere was serving as her defense attorney.
Guinevere was an awful defense attorney and got Nussa to confess; and she had to serve a lifelong sentence in prison.
Her brother Ledthion Jr. came to visit her cell.
The prison guards immediately arrested Ledrhion Jr., who had gained a reputation as an international criminal.
They were put in the same cell, where the two tried to break out and continue they're evil plans.
Nussa got sick of her brother, as he wasn't very bright, and finally filed a formal appeal of her sentence, on the grounds that the alleged murder victim was alive and in her cell.
But she had to break out 'cause she couldn't wait for the appeals result, because some beurocrat swept it under a rug.
In the distant future, aliens found the appeal and brought it onboard their ship.
After intensive scientific inspection, the aliens concluded the appeal would make perfect kindling and promptly lit it on fire to test their theory.
Then the banquet of Churrvrtujryjuhgtgyyrguijki's Eve began.
On account of its name being so hard to pronounce, no one attended the banquet.
This wasn't because nobody came, but because there were armed guards at the front door, who turned away everyone who couldn't correctly say the name.
Then aliens started screaming and hollering, 'A WILD YOUR MOM APPEARED!!!!! AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAH!'
You're crazy. ;)
These aliens were the special guests of the Emperor.
Instead, they played Nubbid Nubbid's special edition of Pokemon.
The Emperor was annoyed by the insubordination of his guests, and sent imperial guestcatchers to retrieve them.
They threw Nubbid Nubbid's special Dark Pokeballs at the imperial guestcatchers, and instead of getting caught, they all became Pokemon.
The guestcatchers, now Pokemon-ized, used "electrified net" on the guests. It was super effective.
However, the guestcatchers were all Level 2 (have you heard of a Level 1 yet :P) and only managed to chip 1 HP off from the guests, who were all Level 100.
Then Ledthion, being outside of all this class division, destroyed the guests with a wave of his hand.
His hand was a broccoli, and then he ate it.
The imperial troops were horrified by Ledthion's cannibalism, and quickly fled the scene.
Sukka was annoyed at her husband's decision to decrease the amount of food available for her next meal.
So she commissioned her husband to go to the local supermarket and gather all the people together in a corral.
So he gathered all the corrals into the people.
When Ledthion came home, Sukka transmogrified him into jelly.
And then fed him to her children.
Then she died of remorse for all the weird and unexplainable things she'd done.
The remorse only lasted while she was dead, though; when she came back to life later, she was feeling fine.
Meanwhile, in a distant galaxy, there was a guy named Bob who had a sword.
His sword was old and rusty.
One day, bob cut his hand on the rusty sword.
He got tetanus and died a slow and painful death.
The sword was passed on to his evil twin, Obo.
And then Games MMCCXXXIV came and put him out of his misery.
Consequently, Games MMCCXXXIV died a slow and painful death.
Games MMCCXXXIV ate lots of nachos while he was dying.
He ate too much and exploded.
The explosion caused all the neighborhood dog's eardrums to burst, making them howl in pain.
The howling awakened several ancient golems.
Who were killed by Ledthion MMMCCCXXXIV.
Ledthion MMMCCCXXXIV was a clone of Ledthion I, and possessed no more honor or strength than the original.
Of course Ledthion I was the second most powerful and honourable man in history. So this clone was more than content with that.
The clone was so content, in fact, that he neglected to fulfill any of his duties.
That was fine with Sukka the Jling, though, who had produced the clone, as she had his three thousand, three hundred and thirty-two counterparts, for his flavor.
She was on the brink of her life-long maniacal goal; three thousand, three hundred, and thirty, three!!!
Only one man stood in the way of Jukka's plan: Games Jryphon.
Games Jryphon was of course not in this universe so Sukka made her last clone.
The last clone was a copy of Sukka herself.
And she ate all the Ledthion clones, only to be eaten herself by the Sukka clone.
Then an actual wild your mom appeared.
And the universe imploded into itself.
In another universe, Ledthion MMMCCCXXXIV started playing rap music made by Drake.
The surrounding neighbors were annoyed because he played it loudly. So they plotted revenge.
Then that Ledthion imploded because he was listening to rap.
(That awful, disgusting, evil monkey bile!)
That was okay, though; every version of Ledthion in every universe loved rap, so there were plenty of counterparts to carry on the tradition. ;D
Meanwhile, Jimmy the pizza-deliverer went to deliver a pizza.
While all of the other Ledthion's came to their senses and killed themselves.
...With lasers that shot through the world.
Even though Jimmy made the delivery in less than five minutes, the pizza buyer gave him no tip.
The pizza buyer was Rady Lamber MXLVIIXIL, whom fullfilled Jimmy's dream by saying instead of a tip she would marry him.
Unfortunately, this was a shallow saying; it was impossible, because not only was she underage, she didn't have her guardian (Sukka the Jling III)'s approval.
But the ever-resourcesful Jimmy suggested "What happens in Reno, stays in Reno. Unless it's a marriage license, which is totally legal for everyone."
Rady Lamber the nth brightened up and said, "In that case, I'd like to marry my teddy bear!"
Her teddy bear was named Peter.
His middle name was Mordecai.
Peter Mordecai was in the process of taking over the world.
But then Jimmy burned Peter Mordecai, because he wanted to marry Rady Lamber.
Unfortunately for Jimmy, Rady Lamber (the nth) was furious at the loss of her beloved teddy, and told her mother-figure (Sukka the Jling III) on him.
Jimmy was trapped in Sukka's cellar and never seen again.
And when ever someone ventured down there, they were never seen again.
A person was reading all of this on a thread called "The Endless Story" on a place called the "Redwall Abbey Forums".
Which was a delightful place where people could run around insanely, doing insane things.
One day, the forums lost all its insanity.
This was because of a new rule passed by a certain tyrannical global moderator.
The moderator, who was named Sainradow, had seized power several seasons ago.
...Thanks to the evilness of her servants, the other moderators, who unanimously voted for her to be the Evil Ruler of All.
Then the heroic Ledthion came and reestablished insanity to the Basement board and everyone lived happily ever after...in this universe.
Meanwhile, Sukka asked her daughter Cinderelsa if she wouldn't mind getting a can out of the cellar.
This was an alternate universe and Sukka was constantly plagued by her evil step-daughters. Cinderelsa was her biological daughter and the only one that was kind to her.
Sukka loved evil children, as they reminded her of her long-lost husband (who had mysteriously disappeared before one Thanksgiving dinner), and was thusly very upset at how Cinderelsa turned out.
But it was opposite day. And Sukka's favorite daughter on normal days was Cinderelsa.
With the war going on, there were very rarely normal days at the Sukka household.
Sukka's evil step-daughters were actually working for Ledthion Jr., who had somehow survived being eaten.
The evil stepdaughters all had hair that was an unearthly shade of pink.
One day, the evil stepdaughters decided to kidnap Nussa Rodrey.
So they all tied bandannas around their faces and crept into Nussa's apartment. Nussa was sound asleep, so they quickly bound and gagged her and smuggled her out of the flat. By now, she was awake, and recognized them by their outlandish hair.
She immediately went to Sampson's and Delilah's Barber Shop to remove her kidnappers hair.
Quite predictably, the kidnappers refused to have their hair removed.
So Nussa had their heads removed instead.
She stuck them on pikes and paraded them before a cheering crowd of various woodland mammals.
Suddenly, a skunk did what skunks do best.
Which is starting the animal equivalent of the French Revolution.
Unfortunately, the crude weapons of the animals did nothing to the heavily-armed governments of the world, and the revolution failed.
Turning it into the Reign of Happiness. Feared throughout the lands.
Pessimists everywhere cowered in fear as annoying, overly-happy, optimistic people took over the world.
The last, best hope of the pessimists came when the one, true, original Games Jryphon once again returned from the dead, to do battle with optimists everywhere.
The Unikitty promptly fainted.
However, the good news was that everything was still awesome.
This was true of everything that Games was involved in.
Games' plan involved destroying all hope and happiness, a task he accomplished by banning cookies.
To much despair, the Imperial Star Fleet appeared and vaporized the fainted body of Unikitty, setting of a cosmic disturbance which sets the earth ten lightyears closer to the sun.
Naturally, the pessimists were thrilled.
Which made the Earth actually 9.99996 lightyears farther from the Sun on the other side of its orbit.
Then Games saved the humans by destroying them.
Games didn't literally save the humans. He thought destroying them was pretty fun, though.
But he actually did save them by destroying them...
(Come on! Someone must have something brilliant for this! ;D ;D)
Games did "save" the humans.... onto an Intergalactic Hard-drive System. The encrypted DNA of billions of people would prove useful later in Games' plot.
Later in Games's plot...
Games decided to throw all the DNA into a parallel dimension where most everything was made of cheese
The DNA mutated and became rat creatures.
Because Games had access to their genomes, he was able to easily bring these rat-creatures under control.
So Games started playing games with them.
But in the process, slipped on a
...inter-galactic strawberry!
But because of the improper grammar the Earth of this universe imploded and was held in a time-loop that constantly ended in the Earth in this universe imploding.
Each time-loop lasted roughly ten millennia, or three millennia longer than Games' natural life span, when not cut short from accidental strawberry slipping fatalities.
Games realized this and shortened the time-loop to three seconds.
Even Games, however, could not stop a neutron star from crashing into the Sun.
However, Games' station wagon was equipped with a potato cannon that could safely blow up the neutron star before it crashed.
Sadly, another Neutron star of twice the size was headed directly for
...a sparkly unicorn.
This was unfortunate for Ledthion, who had, rather than going with his new wife Sukka the Jling in their car, chosen to ride the unicorn out of town.
But Ledthion heroically sent the Neutron star into the void. And saved the world from harm.
;D ;D
But Sukka was annoyed that her new husband missed their honeymoon, and drop-kicked him into the void.
As he fell into the freezing cold, near-infinite darkness of the void, Ledthion contemplated the many uses of cranberries.
Because of the revolutionary ideas that he came up with, the Valar sent him out of the Void.
And accidentally released Morgoth while they were at it.
Orome instantly saved the day and threw him back into the Void by
...hitting Morgoth with several planetoids.
One of them happened to be replanetized as soon as it was sent to Morgoth; Pluto.
Varda pulled a few stars out of her apron pocket and threw them at Sauron, who was busily engaged in forging rings.
Sauron had invested all the power he got from the One Ring into Another Ring, which ruled the One Ring to rule them all, doubling his power!!
....but luck had it fall into the hand of Darth Vader, who put in his lightsaber, holding all the ultimate power in the universe.
One day, Darth Vader accidentally lost his lightsaber.
But then he found it again.
But the Another Ring had been destroyed.
But Sauron had already made third, fourth, and fifth Rings, each of which in turn ruled over and doubled the power he obtained from the previous ones, so he was still sixteen times as powerful as he was before he made any rings.
However, Sauron wanted to be seventeen times more powerful than he had been.
He could make yet another ring, but that would make him thirty-two times more powerful, not seventeen.
Frustrated, he let out his rage by rampaging through a random city.
Silver-Age Superman flew to the city's rescue, and hit Sauron with a punch strong enough to level a mountain.
Sauron was unfazed and merely turned into his handsome Annatar form, thereby causing a mob of teenage girls to come flocking to his rescue.
But Superman used his super-hypnosis on all of the girls at super-speed to make them think Sauron was hideously ugly.
Sauron then exposed Silver-Age Superman to the type of red kryptonite that makes Kryptonians' hair and nails grow really fast.
This didn't bother Silver-Age Superman, who hit Sauron so hard with his new talons that he knocked him into orbit.
Then Sauron came back and Silver-Age Superman gave up.
He killed Sauron and destroyed all of his rings, and then exposed himself to gold kryptonite.
The Gold Kryptonite killed him and let Orome back into the world.
Then Orome tripped while he was going down the stairs, fell, and died.
But since he was already dead he came back to life. And since he was a Valar he could not be killed.
;D ;D
It was moot, as J.R.R Tolkien came back from the dead and decanonized the entire Silmarillion.
But he realized he awful mistake and recanonized while being set as ruler over all of the world except for Taiwan.
But then he remembered to take his medication, and decanonized the Silmarillion again, and had all copies of it everywhere destroyed. Then he retired to Taiwan to write cheesy romance novels.
But this was his clone.
The clone signed a contract giving all of Tolkien's rights in perpetuity over to George Lucas.
Lucasfilm's staff cackled as they thought of new ways they could mess with Tolkien's fans.
To kick things off, they made a prequel trilogy that contradicted everything fans had thought about the history of the Lord of the Rings.
Then the real J.R.R. Tolkien woke up, and found that it was all a bad dream.
;D ;D
But he realized it was all a prophecy about the destruction and doom of LucasFilm. He then realized it had already gone down the toilet, and was bought up by Disney. He then surmized their current fate was worse than death and he went back to sleep. But when he woke up again...
...he discovered that Luthien Tinuviel was dancing in his living room.
And he realized how ridiculously overpowered he had made elves in his books, and rewrote everything to make them physically weak.
But, because orcs were descended from elves, all the orcs became ridiculously weak too.
But they were already weak, so they became strong.
A very nerdy elf named Haldir suddenly discovered that pi actually equalled e = mc2.
And in the real world, all of Lord of the Rings was the way it turned out to be now.
And then Father and Dante (Dante is female, by the way.) battled for control over the FMA universe.
Unbeknownst to the two characters, they were both pawns in the collective Ledthion Hivemind's plot for multiverse domination.
So Father transmuted Ledthion's inner organs to stone.
Ledthion's collective consciousness was already ingrained in the fibers of the universe, so this did nothing to hinder its plan.
Ledthion got extremely mad because he was so cold.
So he turned to universe into a star.
He wished upon the star that he would become the most powerful being in the universe.
And since he was the only being left in the universe his wish came true.
But then an asteroid crashed into the star, causing it to explode, which made Ledthion's wish no longer true.
Since all life in the universe was gone, the asteroid felt very lonely.
So it decided to die.
Unfortunately, as it was already dead, it couldn't do it.
The immortal asteroid smashed into the dwarf-planet Pluto, re-awakening an ancient being..
...who was actually Gollum's half-cousin.
Who was a rather jolly being. . .
But was in fact too big, (it was basically a planet you know), so every time he high fived someone their planet was annihilated.
In the forum world Rohnam didn't understand the Eternal story, so the forums imploded. ;D ;D ;D ;D
Which caused a worldwide riot.
Because everyone was dead, however, there wasn't a lot to riot about.
And slowly but surely nature started taking back the cities. . .
(How many times has everyone died in this topic? o.O)
Which were nonexistant because of the universe being comprised of a huge single star.
The star exploded in a massive supernova, annihilating the last vestiges of life.
But Ledthion still lived in the universe.
(We should publish this! ;D ;D ;D ;D)
But died after te explosion, from natural causes. . .
(Haha, yeah. :P Wonder if it would sell? ;D)
(^Doubt it. ;D)
So the natural causes ruled forever.
Back in the real universe, Games Jryphon had finally finished taking over the world, and now ruled as a benevolent king.
This was very difficult for him, as he was naturally malevolent, and bore nothing but ill will towards his subjects.
The same subjects were bust setting up a civil war, only they didn't know the real meaning of 'civil war.'
They thought it meant give your ruler tasty, healthy cookies.
Everyone was arguing happily about the best recipe for tasty, healthy cookies.
Which they thought meant going really quickly and agreeing about everything.
The citizens finally agreed that they should build a giant golden monument to Emperor Games, and began construction on it immediately.
But Games thought it was a giant spaceship and destroyed it.
Rather than taking offense, the citizens cheered their overlord for his great humility.
They then sent him a giant box of tacos, which were, unbeknownst to them, accidently poisoned.
Games acted as though he graciously accepted the gift, but as soon as the citizens were out of sight, he sneered and threw the food in the dumpster (he hated tacos, and he hated gifts from his minions even more).
The tacos eventually grew mold, which became alive (thanks to some strange goo that was in the dumpster), and attacked Games's palace.
Games yawned and turned on his firewall, which incinerated the mold.
The fire then proceeded to engulf the entire palace.
Because Games had a fireproof suit on, however, he took no damage.
And then the poor, naive citizens cheered on their ruler; who was standing in the ashes of his palace, yet completely unharmed.
What Games did not realize, however, was that the radiation was causing him to slowly mutate.
He slowly mutated into a glob of pudding.
Then the glob of pudding mutated into a mutated pudding of glob.
Games Jryphon's consciousness was teleported to an obscure Outer Rim planet.
The obscure Outer Rim planet then exploded.
...Spreading Games' consciousness throughout the universe.
Which baby Urthblood ate and became powerful.
However Games slowly took over Baby Urthblood's mind and soon consumed his being becoming the ultimate Gamesblood the Terrible!
But he was still a baby.
WHO WAS TERRIBLE!
Baby Urthblood then grew up.
Upon reaching full size he decided to confront his mortal foe Wyte of Eiker's Blessing The king of the High Elves.
However, Gamesblood the Terrible had made a mistake, for he was actually his mortal friend.
And thus began the story of Turin Turambar all over again.
But it had a horrible plot-twist!
Because instead of accidentally marrying his own sister, Turin married Finduilas the elf-maiden instead!
Finduilas, who was secretly an evil demon sent by Morgoth to destroy Middle Earth, slew Turin.
...Thus saving the Hurin family from Morgoth's curse.
Meanwhile, Manwe decided to slay all his eagles.
But two eagles, the prince of eagles and his fiancé, escaped.
Their names were Edgar and Pollyanna.
After getting married in an Easterling chapel, and settling down and having six children with his wife Pollyanna, Edgar went on a quest to defeat Manwe and avenge eagle-kind.
But Manwe commanded him to be put to death.
Manwe was under the influence of an evil Crown of Power which Aule had manufactured based on a blueprint Sauron had left in his workshop.
The Crown of Power was then destroyed by Sauron himself.
Using funds gained from an extremely lucrative merchandising market, Sauron rebuilt the tower of Barad-Dûr.
Which then promptly collapsed due to Sauron buying cheap mortar.
Seeing Sauron was vulnerable all the armies of the world assembled to fight him.
Arwen decided to inexplicably channel her immortality into a weird blast of power that turned Sauron into a frog.
The once powerful Sauron was helpless as an amphibian so the conquering armies celebrated and cooked up some BBQ frog legs.
Sauron's spirit bound the leaders of the army, turning them into wraiths.
And then a tide of enchanted ivy took over Middle Earth, choking out all life.
But it was already dead, so life returned to Middle-Earth.
...In the form of single-celled organisms living in a puddle.
But they were already single-celled organisms living in a puddle. So they went back to the way they were originally.
Except it didn't and Middle Earth was forgotten forever.
...To the angstiness of the fangirls who wrote Legomances. Several committed suicide.
Meanwhile, Kili was being chased by a mob of fangirls through Mirkwood.
He then fell flat on his face into a pit.
And died.
All the fangirls mourned his loss, but soon ran after Legolas, who was hunting giant spiders.
Fortunately for Legolas, the giant spiders devoured the fangirls.
Then the spiders devoured Legolas.
So the few remaining fangirls who happened to be in Erebor mourning the loss of Thorin Oakenshield hurried to stalk Thranduil.
Thranduil ordered his guards to shoot the fangirls but it was useless because. . .
...they were all wearing mithril armor! With lots and lots of pink sparkles! Anyone who got within five feet of them promptly fainted from the glitz overdose.
So Thranduil quickly ran to The Lonely Mountain to get mithril fangirl repellent.
But the spiders devoured all of the elves in Middle Earth, and lived happily ever after.
But then Glorfindel, the coolest of the Elves, destroyed the spiders in Mirkwood, was fully equipped with mithril and non-mithril fangirl repellent, and restored Mirkwood; now his realm, to it's former glory as Greenwood the Great.
But an army of men and orcs burned down Greenwood and killed Glorfindel, and the elves were officially extinct.
Then they repopulated Middle-Earth and exterminated everything hostile to the Elves, or could possibly turn hostile to the Elves except the Hobbits, as the Elves were Hobbit-immune.
This was very easy since there were no Elves to be hostile to.
But the Elves came back from the west, repopulated Middle-Earth and exterminated everything and anything that could be hostile to Elves or turn hostile to Elves, except the Hobbits, since they were immune to Hobbits, the Glorfindel that was killed was actually his identical twin Gorfindel, so Glorfindel came back.
But Manwe and the rest of the Valar were displeased, and smote the elves, and Middle Earth was destroyed, and Eru Ilúvatar created a new world with humans; seeing not fit to bring elves into this world.
Dwarves were genetically engineered to mimic Elves in every possible way, and the northern kingdom of Arnor was rebuilt and stood against the corruption of Carn Dum.
"Elves" in this case referred to mischievous little snow sprites, such as the ones that made shoes for that shoemaker guy.
But the Men of that world exactly reproduced the landscape of Middle-Earth, Orome came there, and Melkor was revived, and the world was nearly shattered because of the lack of real Elves.
But it wasn't, and the men invented electric-powered machines, refrigerators, air conditioning, heaters, and medicine, and the world was a much safer and healthier place for it.
But it was, the land that they made was a tiny portion of what they used to have, Melkor had taken over the rest and was much more technologically advanced than the realm of Man.
It was more technologically advanced in most ways, but they had not developed nuclear weapons; a bright man did so, and the army of mankind dropped two atomic bombs, one on Melkor and one on Sauron, destroying them both.
One was dropped on the statue of Melkor in the Kingdom of Man's strategic planning area, and the other on Sauron in the center of Man's commerce. The Kingdom of Man was called Garnor and was decimated because of their blundering. They reverted to the Stone Age technologically in every way.
But because the statues were Statues of Power, and all of Melkor and Sauron's power had been invested in them, they were still destroyed; afterwards, mankind regained their advanced technology, and lived happily ever after.
The statues that were destroyed were the replicas of the statues of power, since Garnor didn't have enough power to take them from where they were protected in a place where even the omnipotent Melkor couldn't get to them.
(Uh, omnipotent?)
Then Eru got sick and tired of things not being resolved as they should, and cast Melkor and all of his servants into a never-ending, inescapable, fiery abyss.
(Well we can't have everything bending up the way they are today can we?) ;D ;D
In the world everyone grinned until their faces broke and everyone in every world in every universe died.
And they all stayed dead happily ever after, except for Ledthion and Sukka the Jling, who were newly married.
(I shall except my fate... ;D ;D)
Ledthion said to Sukka, "You're my favorite girl in the whole wide universe." (Which wasn't as impressive as it sounded, considering there weren't any other girls.)
Unfortunately, due to almost all life on Earth having died, the newlyweds starved to death.
And Gamesblood the Terrible feasted on their flesh.
And rebooted the universe, just in time to see a wedding...
...Of two insignificant peasants, whose names are not important enough to mention.
Little did he know that the fate of an empire rested on these two!
Also, their names were Bruce and Isabelle.
Bruce of Scotland and Isabelle of Spain.
The wedding was in Monaco, and all insignificant peasants from all parts of the world were in attendance.
The wedding celebration was scheduled to last for two and a half years.
With lots and lots of plate throwing.
Unfortunately, the ceramic dishes were quite sharp, and one wayward plate decapitated the groom.
His bride, when she heard about it, just shrugged and married somebody else.
And changed her name before the wedding to Sukka.
She got a tattoo on her face that said "G.A.M.M.E.S. J.R.Y.F.O.N", which was rather spelled wrong, right after she changed her name.
Due to the fact that the letters were massive no one could discern what the tattoo said so they assumed she was a fortune teller who could see the future for whatever reason.
So, they went to her to get there fortunes told.
She simply told them that she was a part-time fruit-seller.
and part time secret-agent
They grew so angry they attacked however she was quick and used a combination of Karate, Jujitsu, and the chicken dance to fight them off.
The chicken-dance, however, made them hungry, and because they were hungry, they thought she was a chicken.
Ledthion was among them and was the most ravenous of them all.
So he pulled out a machine gun and started firing at her in hopes that she would die and they could eat her.
This cabalistic attempt however vicious and cunning was foiled by her use of Spartan-Ninja moves where she cut the bullets in mid flight sending the cut halves into the swarming hungry masses.
And Ledthion died on that day, buried by a boy name Nores wearing a polar bear suit.
But suddenly he burst from the ground and became a deadly zombie, he went on a rampage turning half the civilized world into a undead empire.
The only thing that would stop him was his undying love for Sukka, who had since left the country.
That is why Dilu left to find Sukka.
Sukka, unfortunately, was zombified by the time Dilu found her.
And Hsa Drol, Khan of Badgeria, destroyed Sukka.
But suddenly our two heroes found themselves surrounded by a swarm of zombies. Then Has Drol pumps a shotgun and Khan of Badgeria spins a revolver, both with evil grins on their faces.
Quote from: LT Sandpaw on September 02, 2015, 02:57:26 PM
But suddenly our two heroes found themselves surrounded by a swarm of zombies. Then Has Drol pumps a shotgun and Khan of Badgeria spins a revolver, both with evil grins on their faces.
OOC: Hsa Drol is the Khan of Badgeria. :P
OOC: A detail that is of little consequence. :P Just role with it ;)
Hsa Drol killed the false Khan of Badgeria and took the title for himself.
But then the False Khan's brother came and attacked Hsa Drol.
But that didn't really matter because they were both eaten by zombies.
Far away in a secret underground fortress Sukka the Zombie is strapped to a chair. Dilu Vaskar dressed as a doctor walks in carrying an anti zombie vaccine and prepares to give her a shot.
Then all of a sudden baby turtle pops in and eats everyone.
Except Vilu Dilu's brother who give Sukka the shot.
Sukka instead of becoming non-zombie became a even stronger and smarter zombie and ate Vilu's brother.
OOC: Dilu has already been eaten by the Baby Turtle.
BIC: Vilu seeing that Dilu's vaccine didn't work teleported Himself to his Secret Underground Fortress to work on a new vaccine.
Unfortunately, Vilu Vaskar was no better a doctor or scientist than his brother was, and, instead of making an anti-zombie vaccine, accidentally produced a dangerous toxin.
and then drank it and turned into a hideous zombie eating monster.
After Vilu Vaskar went on his rampage, there was only one zombie left; unfortunately for him, it was holding a high-powered monster-destroying vortex cannon.
It fired and missed so Vilu Vaskar ate it and then began attacking the legendary Gryphon.
Fortunately, Games Jryphon destroyed Vaskar and ended the infection.
Games did this because he was a great fan of art, and had always liked "The Legendary Gryphon" (which was a famous marble statue).
The marble statue then got teleported, for absolutely no reason, to a far off planet named Tatooine, which was in a galaxy far, far away.
Because of the planet's heat and the intensity of its two suns, the formerly white marble statue turned a lovely golden tan colour.
And Games raged and raged until he had wiped out the whole galaxy Tatooine was in.
Games realizing what he had done crawled into a little cave never to emerge again.
From this cave he ruled the universe.
Which was really just his minecraft world which he named I'msocoolandmakecoolstuffyay3.14.
Which controlled everything in every time stream in the real world.
And Urthblood sought him out and Gamesblood was reforged.
But unfortunately for Gamesblood the Games side of him refused to leave the cave.
Lucy, Gamesblood's former girlfriend, came to search for him, for she still loved him dearly.
"Oh, Games!" she cried sweetly when she saw him, for she knew his good side was still buried somewhere within him.
For a total of three seconds Gamesblood fought his evil side but he gave in when evil promised him cookies.
He took his sword and prepared to run Lucy though...
"Eeek!" Lucy shrieked stupidly, cringing in fear.
The "Eeek," was so cringe worthy that Gamesblood flinched so badly that he stumbled and hit his head on the floor.
Due to a series of complex mathematical coincidences, the magical helmet on Gamesblood's head exploded.
This resulted in a blast that blew Lucy up to the second floor of the cave where Harold the Garbage Man was having a party.
Harold saw Lucy's body and fainted for he hated the sight of blood.
And Gamesblood walked off and took over his brother's mountain.
But the Games side of him hadn't wanted to leave the cave so he screamed every day making Gamesblood's followers nervous.
Finally Gamesboold was driven mad by Games' constant screaming.
So he ripped his brothers mountain of jelly into shreds!
And his brother Gamesfist challenged him to a duel.
A pie eating duel!
But Gamesfist was served a cake by Machos, Gamesblood's friend.
The Cake was heavier then the pie and so Gamesfist was defeated. Furious he challenged Gamesblood to a proper duel for cheating.
The duel, while appearing proper, was secretly slanted in Gamesfist's favor.
As the two contestants walked the twenty paces and spun around Gamesblood activated the parasites that made Gamesfist point his gun at the ground making him helpless. But Gamesblood was such a bad shot he missed Gamesfist six times and ran out of ammo.
Gamesfist's friend then came up and helped Gamesfist point his gun at Gamesblood and fire.
But because Gamesblood was such a big cheater he had worn a bullet-resistant vest and simply grunted as the bullets hit him.
It was then that Gamesfist revealed his secret weapon.
A ten foot long electric-cheese-puff!
He picked it up and threw it a Gamesblood.
Who ducked.
. . . and then picked it up and threw it back.
Then Gamesfist ducked.
. . . and picked it up and threw it back. So they kept on doing that for 1000 years. By the time they stopped the earth had been repopulated.
Eventually they grew bored with throwing the ten foot long eclectic-cheese-puff that they decided to settle their differences playing a not so friendly match of Team Fortress Two.
But first they decide to have a snack since they hadn't ate in 1000 years, so not thinking they at the Cheese puff and died.
From their bodies rose the two halves of Games who reformed to become Games the Terrible II
Who took over the Earth in a day.
That triggered a rebellion led by Reb the Rebellious.
Reb the Rebellious was a righteous rebel with red rockets in her red hair.
The rockets, which were nuclear warheads, suddenly detonated and annihilated the rebel headquarters.
Reb the Rebellious somehow survived the blast and crawled out of the headquarters and was captured by Games's minions who took her to the torture chamber of doom.
The torture chamber of doom was in Mount Doom, and the torture consisted of being held three inches above the molten lava.
This was an ineffective mode of torture because after being held over the lava for three hours Reb the Rebellious could no longer speak because her throat was so dry.
So Games had her thrown in a lake for exactly one minute, bound hand and foot. Not only would a near-drowning convince Reb (he thought) to tell him all she knew, it would also give her a nice soothing drink of water for her poor parched throat.
Unfortunately, the lake was polluted with acid rain, and its water proved to be far from soothing.
And Games II gave her a painful death.
Ber, Reb's brother was very angry about this and wanted revenge.
But Ber was a simple barber, and he had only one way to get revenge. So one day when Games came in for his monthly haircut...
Ber tried to shave him.
I the middle a shaving Games Ber realized this was his chance for revenge, so he raised the razor and prepared to stab Games.
Games, however, was too quick for him. Leaping out of the barber chair, he brandished a tomahawk he had stowed in his belt...
Seeing this Ber called the 24 remaining Vaskar brothers who had been hiding in the back room and wanted revenge on Games for killing their brother Vilu.
But that was just what Games had been hoping for; with a villainous smirk on his face, he whipped out a disintegration ray and vaporized Tilu, Kilu, Gilu, Iilu, Qilu, Hilu, Oilu, Ailu, Milu, Rilu, Nilu, Silu, Zilu, Eilu, Uilu, Lilu, Wilu, Xilu, Filu, Jilu, Bilu, Cilu, and Pilu.
And Machos burst in and killed Ber.
And then because he was on a role Games vaporized Machos.
Games laughed maniacally, smiled, and said, "I'm the greatest villain around, just like my father before me!"
At the mention of his name, Games Jryphon Sr. materialized next to his son.
Far across the universe. Ledthion stepped into a black hole!
Little did Games Jr., Games Sr., and Ledthion know... these two events had everything to do with each other.
And then a band of orcs with perfect vocals marched down the road singing.
The Gameses who loved singing skipped out to watch the orcs go by.
It was then that the black hole Ledthion stepped into opened above the parade, engulfing everything into the shadowy blackness of a singularity where tine is a physical dimensions, one of the 5 total dimensions in the black hole.
And Brienne of Tarth drew her sword.
But nothing happened because she was alone.
The singing orcs and the reunited Gameses along with Ledthion in a flash of light burst into the game room of Dr. Rand.
And Brienne burst in and smacked an orc.
So the orcs pulled out their clubs and started beating Brienne, while singing Mary Had a Little Lamb.
And Brienne beat them all and made them sing a Japanese song.
But then, she got a text from the dentist's office saying that she was due for a checkup.
So she went to the dentist, who gave her way too much anesthesia, causing her to never wake up from her coma.
Charlie smiled, as this meant he could take all of her teeth to add to his ever-growing collection.
So he put her teeth in his own mouth, desperately wanting to turn them into dentures as soon as possible.
However, Charlie soon realized that Brienne hadn't flossed in months.
So he ate his lunch, graciously provided by Brienne.
The singing orcs who were back for revenge started beating her while she was in a coma while singing Knick knack Patty WACK!
Charlie saw a great opportunity and called his robots into the room.
And then the singing orcs revealed themselves as Finrod the Elf, ten other Elves, and Beren! Brienne woke up, let out a fangirl squeal, and charged headlong at Finrod, ignoring Charlie's robots.
One of Charlie's robots raised a disintegration ray gun and fired at Brienne but missed and hit Finrod instead leaving him a tiny pile of ash.
Brienne was furious about this and started beating the robot with a giant hot dog.
The giant hot dog was severed in half by a bratwurst falling from the sky. (Phineas and Ferb reference)
Quote from: James Gryphon on September 09, 2015, 05:37:29 PM
Charlie smiled, as this meant he could take all of her teeth to add to his ever-growing collection.
OOC: Deja vu! ;D ;D
And then Jamie Lannister burst in and killed Charlie.
Charlie the Mad Dentist was very upset that his slime mold had been treated so unfairly, and beat Jamie Lannister up with his elite ninja skills.
His elite ninja skills were no match for Deadpool's regenerating health and even better ninja skills as the mercenary burst in, killed charlie and took his head with him to claim his bounty.
But that was the worst mistake he could have made, as both Charlie's head and body regenerated, meaning that there were now two of him.
Charlie the mad dentist laughed and his two selves spoke as one saying. "Deadpool, tis time for thy root canal!"
And Jamie killed him again.
But there was two of him so the surviving one took his pliers and pulled out all of Jamie's teeth.
Then Gamie Jryphon, Games' little sister, came in and deatomized Jamie.
It was at this moment that Yilu the Incredible charged in bent on having revenge on the Jryphons. He started by beheading Gamie.
Because he was using a plastic Barbie knife it was going to take him a while. Gamie simply ignored him and clapped her hands enjoying the epic fight between Charlie and Deadpool.
Yilu saw he wasn't getting anywhere fast so he pulled out a Huge Battleaxe and swung viciously at her unprotected neck.
It was a Nerf battle axe, so it did nothing but annoy her.
So Games the II came over and pushed Yilu.
... and he fell, screaming, into the bottomless pit that Charlie had thoughtfully placed in a nearby corner.
Games walked away looking smug while Gamie waved down at the falling Yilu saying, "Bye, bye Mr Meanie."
While falling Yilu tries to figure out how he could possibly fall forever. But since he was a Searat he was pretty dumb and decided to try to stop falling instead.
So he sticks his very sharp and deadly cutlass into the wall to attempt to stop his fall.
Unfortunately the blade snapped and he began falling again.
So instead he turns on his jetpack.
Unfortunately, his jetpack propelled him forwards, not upwards, and he collided into the wall at a high rate of speed.
But since he is Incredible he didn't die but merely got his head stuck in the wall. So he pulled out a shovel and began to dig a tunnel.
He dug for miles and miles.
His tunnel finally came out somewhere deep underground in Dirtydirt the mole city.
Unfortunately, he came up in their underground lake, and as he was incredible, he didn't know how to swim.
So instead he floated to the top and made it since he could hold his breath for an incredibly long time.
The moles saw him and dragged him into their city and offered him some worm snacks
"Thank you but no. I must be on my way." replied Yilu who then got up and started leaving.
But the Mole Leader said, "That wasn't optional" (in mole speech, of course), and pushed Yilu back to the ground.
The moles surround Yilu and lay out large platters of worm cake, worm pie, worm ice cream, worm scones, worm chips, and just plain raw worms and told Yilu the only way he was going to leave alive was if he out ate their champion glutton. Eags The Hare.
It was at this point that Yilu came up with a simple but extremely clever plan. He killed Eags and then ate one worm thus winning the competition and getting some of his anger out at the same time.
Unfortunately, the moles were very upset about their ally being murdered, and threw Yilu into a giant pot of boiling water and oil, where he was boiled and turned into Yilu Stew.
Meanwhile Games, the orcs, Deedpool, and Charlie were still fighting back at the dentist's office.
They were now fighting not each other, but rather the hideous blob that had emerged from the remains of Charlie's beloved slime mold.
Except the Orcs had sided with the slime because it liked music more than the others.
The blob fell in love with a Jello pie.
That was how the latest fight had started; after beating each other up to no avail, Games, Charlie and Deadpool had agreed to make up and split the Jello pie sitting on the counter among themselves.
But then the Blob had fallen in love with it and took it away so they couldn't eat it.
So they ate the Jello pie's uncle and aunt.
Then they remembered Yilu was somewhere down the hole and Charlie suggested they go find him. (Mostly for his teeth) And the others just...
Brutally murdered him.
and then took his teeth.
But Charlie regenerated and took his teeth back. Then rising into the air he cursed them forever. So they began fighting again.
Until Gamesblood the Terrible smote them.
with a pillow.
All who faced Gamesblood the Terrible were incinerated.
But then, the original Games Jryphon materialized directly in front of him.
...And dropkicked him into the Bottomless Pit of Despair.
The Bottomless pit of Despair has a Sarlacc at the bottom.
Suddenly the Sarlacc raises its head up and said...
"Yo homie, no respect for th' sleepin' bro!"
And ate all the Games who were never seen again.
...by the Sarlacc, who died shortly thereafter.
In a galaxy far far away, Jenny was bored.
Because the rest of her family was in a different galaxy.
...She also happened to be floating without any means of control in the middle of space with limited oxygen.
She knew what she had to do. Eat her cookie.
The cookie was magic, and gave her the ability to convert carbon dioxide into oxygen, thus giving her an unlimited supply of oxygen to breathe.
But unfortunately the magic only lasted for 1 hour and she only had one cookie.
It didn't matter, as that was enough time for the tractor beam to pull her back into the spaceship.
So she ate the cookie and then signaled to the space ship to pull her in.
But the crew of the spaceship were to busy binge watching Lost to notice her signals.
Fortunately, they didn't have to; the AI that was controlling the ship did, and activated the beam.
Unfortunately for Jenny the AI was slightly homicidal due to some minor engineering defects and instead of pulling her towards the ship it pushed her away.
This pushed her right into the range of one of the other spaceships in the squadron, which did notice her and pulled her into the retrieval bay.
...Where a bounty hunter with revenge on his mind was waiting for her.
He had foolishly forgotten that the space suit Jenny was wearing was equipped with a high-powered proton disintegrator.
As he raised his gun to shoot her, the proton disintegrator went off disintegrating him and part of the ship to nothing but negatively charged neutrons.
A voice spoke through the intercom: "Not again!"
And this ship began to fall towards a planet.
Then suddenly they noticed that they got caught in an orbit
The ship smashed into the remains of the 2070 Intergalactic Orbital Olympics arena.
Which ended those Olympics. They began the First Universal Olympic Games on a different planet four years later.
All of the Ewoks screamed.
and the wookies made such a hullabaloo that they were heard from middle earth to narnia
The Narnians, who weren't happy because they had been sleeping, went to find out who was making all the noise.
But when they found the Wookies they regretted it because the Wookies ripped the Narnia's arms off.
Then the USS Enterprise, NCC-1701 (no A, B, C, or D), landed right on top of the Wookiees, squishing them.
Then suddenly out of the sky falls Bruce Lee, Abraham Lincoln, and Indiana Jones...
...Who were promptly arrested by the Galactic Police for being in the wrong universe.
Bruce Lee cowered in fear. Indiana Jones did some amazing moves with a scimitar to intimidate them only to be shot, and Abraham Lincoln ordered his slaves to advance against the police, who promptly turned to the police's side, and Abraham Lincoln killed himself. Then one of the police members said to the captain. "Oh captain, my captain." And history was ruined.
And because of that, George Washington defeated Napoleon during the war of the roses with the help of Cleopatra who was loved by Ronald Reagan, who's mortal enemy was Albert Einstein who studied the natural sciences of geometry and grammar, which was taught by Brother Methuselah, Mr Tumnus and Confucius, and they lived at the kingdom of Valencia ruled by King Arthur, who, at the time was dueling against Athos with the help of his wizards Gandalf, Dumbledore and Merlin, and just then...
Yilu returned to take reveng on the world.
He took reveng, which was a new kind of cookie, then left the universe.
And then came back to kill everyone who had mistreated him while the Gameses where still alive.
Since everyone who had mistreated him was dead, he gave up and lived peacefully as a cobbler.
Meanwhile someone put a comma in the wrong place during Alexander's Grammar Class.
And he got very mad.
So he ordered the whole class to be executed, which they didn't appreciate.
So they executed Alexander.
Using the terrible power of grammar, however, Alexander revived himself and took revenge on the class.
The End.
But all that was only the first chapter in a Novel of over Forty chapters!
On to Chapter Two!
A young man named Soren laid on a couch, typing on a forum.
And then Gamesblood the Terrible slew him.
Or so he thought.
... It was actually just a Dark and Stormy Night...
all was calm except for the rain.
Sent by Poseidon to punish his enemies, the rain quickly engulfed the entire planet.
Luckily everyone was living in a boat for some reason.
But little Jimmy was playing with his hammer and nails in the hold and accidently on purpose made a leak in the boat.
So he jumped overboard and started swimming.
The closest land was a million miles away, over a sea of stars.
Suddenly he found that Jar Jar Binks was swimming next to him!
And lifting him up.
But then Jar Jar Binks drowned.
And Jimmy swam on alone.
So he swam and he swam and he swam and he swam and he swam and he swam and he swam and he swam and he swam and he swam until he was one mile away from the beach.
But he was so tired by this point that he started to drown.
And then he drowned and sank beneath the waves and was never seen again.
. . . by his friend George.
And then, someone that no one cared about jumped off a building. Everyone was happy. It was a good day.
But then Skyblade picked up on the completely false insinuation Plugg was making and smacked him over the head.
And then it turned out that Plugg was just saying something in the story and had no effect on him! So Skyblade had a very awkward moment.
(Not sure what's going on. So I am just posting this! ;D)
(Lol)
Sky turned to Plugg, rubbing the back of her neck embarrassedly. "Did I hurt you?"
"No, I'm fine" Plugg said, then spotted a medicine cabinet in the distance and ran towards it.
Meanwhile, cows grew on Jupiter and Venus exploded.
Skyblade ran up to Plugg, her brown eyes narrowed in apprehension. "Dude, do you need help? With anything?"
Plugg smiled sheepishly and pulled out a box of bandaids. "I just need one of these" he said.
"Oh..." Skyblade stepped back, turning her lowered head as if looking for something near her feet. She went to sit on the arm of a nearby couch.
Plugg applied the bandaid to his head, then quickly grabbed a few bottles and ran off giggling.
Meanwhile, Skyshare walked up to Skyblade and looked at her curiously. "You look exactly like me," she said. "Only different."
Meanwhile, back with Skyblade and Plugg...Plugg quickly dumped the contents of the bottles (which were whiskey) all over Skye. ;D
*WERE
#grammarorgohome
Skyblade leaped back, shrieking. "What the-? But - you can't be real!" She pinched herself, to no avail. Then, she whacked Skyshare with a frying pan and the character disappeared.
Sky turned to face Plugg and got a bunch of whiskey showered over her. "Um...why?"
He grinned and said, "Because Del is posting."
Skyshare reappeared, kicked Skyblade, and screamed, "Get out of my house; you don't belong here!"
"Sorry!" Skyblade grabbed Plugg's wrist and dragged him out of the house.
The timeline with Skyeshare ended because it was to confusing to have two storylines running at the same time.
And we come back to Plugg and the whiskey-drenched Skye.
As these seemingly trivial events were unfolding, the world's governments suddenly decided to "test" their nuclear weapon stockpiles on each other.
They did this because they were angry about the overlap between their universe and a certain parallel universe (which had been outlawed by the Staff Act of 2014).
"Sorry about that" Plugg said to Sky, handing her a towel, then kissing her on the cheek. (CUZ WHAI NOWT. EET'S EH STOREHH.)
Quote from: James Gryphon on September 23, 2015, 04:55:09 AM
They did this because they were angry about the overlap between their universe and a certain parallel universe (which had been outlawed by the Staff Act of 2014).
That created a perfectly healthy Godzilla-size Delthion.
"You're fine." Sky wiped herself off, and her eyes widened at the cheek kiss.
Then she woke up, she had fallen asleep at a party, and she was being drenched with buckets of whiskey from Plugg.
(;D ;D ;D ;D)
Plugg grinned and blushed. Then spontaneously combusted.
Ninja'd: WHAT
Then a massive blacksmith came and beat "Sky" into Skyshare.
Which became Skyshard. And she was reforged in the fires of Firetail.
"Firetail" was the name of the forge owned by Skyshare's family's enemy, the sinister Plugg Tailfire.
After the reforging of Skyshard, (which turned her back to Skyblade). Plugg Firetail (Plugg Tailfire's cousin.) cooled her, in whiskey. ;D ;D
Quote from: James Gryphon on January 25, 2015, 02:51:17 PM(No putting yourself in the story. There can be Games Jryphon, but no James Gryphon.)
But then the governments activated a time machine, and undid the events of the last few hours.
(I never put myself in the story, I am neither Godzilla-sized. Nor am I Plugg.) ;D ;D (But okay.)
Oops, I didn't know I'm not supposed to do that! :-\
OOC: It does seem rather necessary. Why can't we? As long as no one constantly brings up themselves, if someone else brings them up then why isn't it okay?
It's a part of the larger rule, "No putting yourself or a character of yourself in the story". Besides encouraging greater creativity, I've found this is also useful in preventing arguments and hurt feelings. The rule stays.
OOC: Okay...
OOC: I'm sorry; I should've checked.
@Del: (http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=6589.msg335349#msg335349)
@Sky: It's no trouble; I guess the rule is buried in there. I just assumed everybody knew.
Oh...I see...well! I'll just step right into a corner... ;D ;D
The government officials, having no recollection of anything that had just happened, left the time machine to collect dust in a supply cabinet.
Which was really a munitions cabinet...the most important cabinet in all of the timelines of all of the universes.
Only Yilu knew of this so he gathered a army of fanatic-pineapple-people and lay siege to the government building trying to capture the cabinet.
The Government people asked him why he was seigeing them and he said he wanted the cabinet. So they took out the time machine and threw him the cabinet.
Once he was inside the cabinet he could control all the timelines of the universe. So he went back several thousand centuries and posts to where Games Jryphon his mortal foe first appeared...
. . . and deleted them so all 25 of his brothers would still be alive.
Unfortunately, the time-warping effects of the deletion caused his brothers to be horribly mutated.
But he didn't care since he had them back.
...Until of course they started trying to eat him.
But when he told them he was their brother Yilu just a few centuries older, they stopped because . . .
The Sky Walrus appeared to then in a vision, and it said in the langauge of old -
Witam, Jestem Sky Mors.
Which, of course, means, "Kill but do not eat the imposter brother with fire."
but an old man walked up to the brothers and told them it really said, 'Hi, I'm Sky Walrus' in Polish, a language lost to the mists of time.
Unfortunately for them, the old man was lying.
But they didn't know that, and since it was the only translation they had, they listened to him.
This led to their doom.
. . . being forced to eat peanut butter for the rest of their long lives.
They were all deathly allergic to peanut butter, and spent every day of their lives in the hospital.
Eating peanut butter and being treated because of it.
They all agreed they would have been better off to have died in battle.
Then Yilu remembered his cabinet.
Unfortinately, the cabinet was of no use to Yilu now, having been sold by his cousin Ilu earlier that week.
Yes, the members of his cabinet had all been sold as slaves to the vampire warlord Fluffy.
Fluffy then dueled Hsa Drol.
Seeing that Hsa Drol was an active volcano, Fluffy's followers (of whom there were few) correctly deduced that their Fearless Leader had gone mad.
So they killed him and took all his money to spend on . . .
... candy!
and dirt.
Candied dirt, which they didn't like. So they took it and...
...rubbed it on their body to be like a potato, which got them into the insane asylum.
The asylum was owned by Eht Szraks, the CEO of a powerful mining conglomerate.
...which was in turn owned by Oscorp, which used valuble minerals from Eht Szarks to build a planet-destroying superweapon.
Then Hsa Drol burned Oscorp to the ground.
The superweapon was left sitting out in the open. It had a huge red button on top of it, and a big sign in neon lights that had a flashing arrow pointing down to the button, and read "PRESS ME TO BLOW UP A PLANET".
Then Jill the cleaning maid came in and started dusting the weapon having somehow missed all the warning signs.
and pressed the button.
And Pluto blew up, and everyone got into a big argument of whether the weapon actually blew up a planet or not.
Then everyone who disagreed with the side that said the weapon did it were murdered by ...
Coordinated drone strikes, which were supported by Apple's brand-new iWar™ platform.
Microsoft hackers broke into the iWar™ software and tokk all the information for themselves, using the information to blame the strikes on Abraham Lincoln.
But that didn't matter since he was dead.
At least that was popular belief. In truth advanced scientists preserved him using cryogenic technology and just now woke him up so he could save the world.
The Galaxy was engaged in a great civil war, fought between the Gameites, who supported Games Jryphon's galactic government, and the Ledthiocons, who were assisting Ledthion's attempted takeover of the universe.
And Uncle Iroh served them both Jasmine tea.
Then they had a arm wrestling competition with Abraham presiding.
Unfortunately, Ledthion's arm broke while arm-wrestling.
Bombur came in and beat them both at arm-wrestling.
This was because his arm was so heavy that nobody but him could lift it.
But Games was clever and challenged him to a thumb war competition.
Ledthion destroyed Games at the thumb war competition, with the help of Ahrem.
That didn't matter, though, because Games hadn't challenged cheating Ledthion, he had challenged Bombur, who couldn't lift his thumb.
Bombur just let his thumb fall on Games's, which broke Games's body.
Games frowned.
...as he died on the ground.
But then he regenerated for the umpteenth time.
Far far away, a lantern burned bright on the mountain that night.
It was held by a lone mindGrave tentacle, and was a trap to lure Chief of Masters and Ter the Arbi into its clutches.
But because of all the complicated names, it imploded.
Its implosion caused every volcano within a 300 mile radius to suddenly and violently erupt.
Causing every town in a 400 mile radius to burn.
This resulted in several unexplained occurrences that eventually made a chemist on the other side of the world spill his new invention on a test rat.
The Rat turned into Yilu Vaskar. He was now twice the size of Games, twice as clever as Games, twice as strong as Games, and Greater in every good way.
Unfortunately for Yilu, the scientist had determined a shorter lifespan to be a "good" trait.
He also determined that a longer lifespan was a good trait so it didn't he had the same lifespan.
But then an alien space ship above the area erupted, releasing its cargo of thousands of pounds of rat poison...
And Yilu who still maintained some rat instincts tried to hide in a hole in the wall.
But then he realized that he was a stoat and rat poison would have no effect on him.
This was his last thought before he and the fragile building he was in were both crushed by several thousand tons of rat poison storage crates.
OOC: You just can't let Yilu live, can you?
BIC: Games, who was also in the building, was also killed.
Far away in Seattle, it was a dark and stormy night.
A girl was sitting by a window when a large, white, scary, monster looked in.
It was actually me.
Yes Tipsage the monster of Seattle was climbing on windows scaring girls.
Somehow, through sorcery too ancient and arcane to comprehend, Erah Eht Pitegas (Tipsage's alternate name) had been transformed into a snowman.
As the temperature was greater than 32º fahrenheit, he was in danger of melting, and thus he was trying to save himself by climbing next to air conditioner window units.
Unfortunately, it was relatively cold outside, and most people had turned off their air conditioners.
And so he screamed and didn't melt because it suddenly became 31 degrees fahrenheit through powers you cannot comprehend.
However the weatherman claimed that a heat wave was coming though very soon...
So he jumped into a freezer.
But it wasn't working.
Because someone had unplugged the freezer.
And plugged in a heater.
Tipsage melted into a puddle of water, leaving nothing behind but his frozen heart.
...which was taken by the Witch-King of Angmar and made into another ring-wraith. Called Hare the Sagetip.
Hare the Sagetip was more powerful then the one ring and all the other rings together, for it turned the wearer into a powerful...
pink butterfly.
Utilizing the awesome power of the ring, Games Jryphon XVI attempted to regain his predecessors' throne.
Unfortunately for him, he was eaten by a giant toad.
Which was then eaten by a tiny snake.
Who then did the Nae nae.
But stopped because . . .
...a jam sandwich fell onto a guy named Bricksy's head.
And Bricksy thought the snake did through it at him, so he . . .
took up his father's sword and rose in rebellion.
Tha snake called his army of big blue buffaloes to fight Bricksy.
Bricksy and his rebels carved his way to the snake, where...
They discovered a secret portal to another dimension.
Bricksy, who was literally a sentient brick, was quickly transported with his army to Narnia.
Where Tash killed them in a hilarious fashion.
He had them tickled to death.
The Narnians used the deceased army of bricks to build a castle.
In which the Calormens had a great feast.
along with the Telmarines.
However a group of dwarves undermined the castle by digging a mine under the brick castle.
The Castle fell over but amazingly, the men inside lived and were uninjured.
but the ice cream they had had melted so they...
Went to Alaska to get some snow cones instead.
But then quickly flew to Germany to try on some leaderhosen (I know I spelled that wrong)...
Unfortunately, they couldn't speak German, and were unable to communicate with the locals.
So, they decided to eat delicious German sausages.
A donkey came and threw them all into the fiery pits of Daskar.
Which was owned by the infamous Yilu Vaskar who had come back to life yet again.
Then, they went back to Germany which was taken over by the little country of Luxembourg, which also took over the US.
Everyone was confused by this but that didn't matter because they too were conquered by Luxembourg.
Luxemburg joined forces with Liechtenstein and Vatican City and forced everyone to eat nothing but ice cream sandwiches for the rest of their lives.
That's why Reb the Rebel came back and dropped Atomic bombs of Luxembourg, Liechtenstein, and Vatican City completely wiping them out and making himself king.
And then TEH EMPRAH conquered the world.
So Reb rebelled again since that's what he does.
The Pope, who had somehow managed to survive the bombing of Vatican City, killed Reb with a sword.
The Pope was then Murdered by Gamie Jryphon.
And Gamie Jryphon was killed by TEH EMPRAH.
Who was then killed by an angry Games Jryphon.
One day a beautiful girl walked down Main Street.
Her name was Bert. She saw Reb, The Pope, Gamie, and Teh Emprah get murdered and was horrified.
But TEH EMPRAH was just unconcious.
He woke up and jumped on Bert's shoulders for a ride.
Then tuned into a jedi master to teach him in the ways of the force
OOC: Bert is a girl.
Quote from: Jukka the Sling on November 01, 2015, 07:47:13 PM
One day a beautiful girl walked down Main Street.
Quote from: Vilu Daskar on November 01, 2015, 08:29:00 PM
Her name was Bert. She saw Reb, The Pope, Gamie, and Teh Emprah get murdered and was horrified.
But Bert was a man all along.
Teh Emprah was disturbed by this.
Bert turned into a chicken.
Teh Emprah then summoned his SPESS MEHREENS.
Who all fell down the stairs and killed the chief.
Then Bert turned into a vulture and started eating the chief's body.
But then they realized how petty their sqaubble for ascension was, how greater the universe was, how the stars surround the planets, how there are so many bodies of land, and they and the planet they were on were just grains of sand on a beach. They realized they must banish their wants, and make peace with the Way, the Path. The donned Buddhist monks and converted to Buddhism.
But TEH EMPRAH was atheist.
So Vishnu made an appearance and said hello
Teh Emprah was confused and ran away.
And TEH EMPRAH decided to have a conversation with Vishnu.
Everyone died because almost no one knew what was going on. The only one that knew what was going on was the awesome! The amazing, and the unfathomable Games, the original Games in all his evil might! He was currently on the planet Gliese 436 b. And was presently on fire.
(Look up the planet name.) ;D
He was on fire because Yilu the Incredible had returned to have his revenge.
but then
Games died along with the rest of his family because
a famine caused by Vishnu came.
Naturally Yilu was angry that he had been thwarted yet again so he set Vishnu on fire.
They were all on the planet of perpetual fire so they died.
In the adjacent star system Games I and Ledthion were harnessing the powers of galaxies to destroy each other, but they had attained immortality, and were destined to duel across the universe. Locked in perpetual combat.
Far away in a galaxy long ago, a guy named Bob put his empty cup into the drink machine.
And Neros filled his cup.
He had ordered a Vanilla Coke, but he got a Pepsi Vanilla instead.
But Neros hated Pepsi Vanilla, so he kicked the cup from Bob's hand and have him a Coke.
Neros was sucked into a black hole and made it to the singularity, this sent him into an alternate timeline...
Meanwhile, Bob was furious because the drink had spilled all over his shirt; he yelled that he wanted to speak to the manager.
As he was crushed by the black hole. The devoted manager went to speak with him...
The alternate timeline was strange, as alternative music was mainstream. This concerned Neros.
As alternative music means that it is alternative to the mainstream, the entire timeline was a paradox.
So that universe blew up.
But only the alternate universe, the normal one was fine.
The real one was was sucked into a black hole, which was a blank hole.
But then Stephen Hawking uninvented black holes.
A blank hole was a strange phenomenon, in which it was blank and duplicated anything that entered. Therefore, there were two universes again.
Which were inside of each other, so everything imploded.
And Neros sat.
Them stood.
But there was no one else with him, therefore, he walked.
Then the time reset.
There was once a young mouse named Matthias.
Who was a mouse and ate cheese.
He ate a cheese called the Drunken Goat. So he became one.
And Matthias the Goat said he's the GOAT.
Then a Drunken Goat hunter came up and started shooting at Matthias.
Then the Lone Wanderer came up and started taking the Generalized Occupational Aptitude Test.
He got confused and ran away.
His mind snapped and he ran around constantly yelling "Never mind! Never mind!"
And then a valiant young man named Matthias720 smacked a hacker in the face with an old HP laptop.
Which magically transformed the Hacker into a beautiful princess, and so the story of "Matthias and the Hacker" was born.
The legend of Matthias and the Hacker is told using only a toupee as a prop.
The toupee of course, played the part of Matthias.
And Skarz played the part of the toupee, and Mhera played Skarz playing the toupee. Thus the universe was exploded, and then reset by Vishnu.
There was once a young mouse named Mathhias, who loved to prank his friends...
Mathhias, ironically, hated math.
and pranking people.
So he set out on an epic quest to imprison all pranksters and mathematicians.
He ended up locking himself up since he was a prankster and mathematician for some reason.
Then one day Bob the butcher came to town.
Bob the butcher chopped up Matthias with a cleaver.
The horrified citizenry arrested Bob and locked him in the town prison.
Bob used his cleaver to slice through the bars and escaped into the town.
However, Bob simply chopped through the cell with his cleaver and escaped.
Bob, having done the same thing twice was locked in an inescapable time-loop. So we go to Welcome, who was regarded by all as a door mat.
Welcome, who was sick of being trod on, changed his name to you're not welcome.
But then people thought he was a joke, and treated him all the more flippantly.
And Mailbox was his only friend.
One day, someone dropped a package on top of him.
Mailbox grunted, but was unaffected.
This made sense, as he wasn't the one the package had been dropped on.
You're Not Welcome sacrificed Mailbox to Khaine.
Khaine didn't get why You're not Welcome did this since he wasn't someone important.
However, Mailbox unexplainably survived, and set out to get revenge. He hired Doorbell to help him.
Doorbell just took Mailbox's money and left though.
But Doorbell tripped over a reformed You're Not Welcome.
Then along came someone named UPS Guy.
But he really pushed Doorbell's buttons.
Except Doorbell didn't exist any more .
But Doorbell's niece Fiona decided to take over the world. Fiona had flaming red hair and green eyes. Also, she had a non-identical twin named Ramona.
Everyone was so confused as to why a niece named Fiona with flaming red hair, green eyes, and a non-identical twin named Ramona wanted to take over the world, that she easily did it.
However, Fiona's non-identical twin named Ramona started spreading lies about Fiona throughout the populace.
The Populace assumed a collective conciseness.
This meant, of course, that the populace was collectively concise on everything.
Fiona didn't realize this.
And neither did Ledthion, so he turned in his grave.
When Ledthion did this Fiona saw the ground move. She thought it was an earthquake.
So she shrieked.
Everyone else wondered what was wrong.
The shriek was so loud that the sound waves made the ground vibrate so much that an actual earthquake happened. Ledthion's grave was swallowed up.
It was a tradition that when someone's grave, whose name started with L, was swallowed up, that they throw a party, so they did.
However, the earthquake swallowed up the partiers, too.
And Evil Bob laughed.
Then Evil Robert laughed.
Then Evil Billy Bob laughed.
In a galaxy far far away, You, a distinguished swordsman, was about to fight the battle of an eon with his life-long mortal adversary, Me.
Then evil Bob got mad that there were two evil guys with the same name as him.
So he set off his thermonuclear detonator, killing all life on the planet.
Except for himself, evil Robert, and evil Billy Bob.
Since it missed, he set off his antimatter bomb; this killed all remaining life in the solar system, including the three aforementioned, with no exceptions.
EDIT: I didn't know James had posted already.
("They" being You and Me.)
They were able to do this because all three had survived because they didn't like the sound of dying.
Meanwhile, on a far off planet, a small pepper plant started growing.
It had the potential to produce the spiciest peppers in the universe.
So everyone wanted it.
What they didn't know is that unlike other peppers, its heat was dampened neither by time nor cold nor generous application of dairy products.
So whatever they did, the spicyness wouldn't go away.
This unbearable pain was passed down from generation to generation.
To generation to generation to generation to generation to generation to generation to generation
To generation to generation to generation to generation to generation to generation to generation
To generation to generation to generation to generation to generation to generation to generation
To generation to generation to generation to generation to generation to generation to generation
Until one heroic person decided to set out to find a cure for the terrible heat and spicyness.
His name was Yilu the Incredible.
But he failed, and was so despondent that he consumed hundreds of the dread peppers.
And ended up dying because of the pain.
So somebody else, Fearless Jack, took on the quest instead.
Unfortunately, Jack wasn't as fearless as he thought he was, for when he came upon a planet inhabited by carnivorous sheep, he immediately turned back to his home.
But he also died because he ate one too many peppers. So Sir Fredrick decided to try.
But he also died, after eating poisoned ice cream.
And so whenever someone tried to find a cure, they ended up getting poisoned.
So they gave up.
Then Gollum decided to try but died of starvation after he refused to eat.
He refused to eat because he had been hypnotized by the pepper plant.
The pepper plant cackled maniacally, as it knew that its plans for the conquest of the galaxy were well on their way to being fulfilled.
So the plant ruled for years and years and years years and years and years and years and years and years years and years and years years and years and years and years and years and years years and years and years years and years and years and years and years and years years and years and years years and years and years and years and years and years years and years and years years and years and years and years and years and years years and years and years years and years and years and years and years and years years and years and years years and years and years and years and years and years. . .
Until it finally disintegrated into a small pile of dust.
Unfortunately, millions of its seeds had spread throughout the galaxy, producing millions of similar plants.
However, most of the planets didn't have much water, so many of the plants weren't able to grow.
This wasn't much consolation for the inhabitants of Water, where two of them had grown.
Thankfully, news had spread about the fact that nothing would stop the terrible spicyness, so the inhabitants of Water destroyed the two plants.
(They were unable to hypnotize the Waterians because of the tin foil hats.)
Unfortunately, a volcano erupted.
All volcanoes were close allies of the pepper plants.
Then, a cedar tree named Bart, along with his cousin Edgar, rose up against the volcanoes and pepper plants and threw rocks at them. Which, of course, wasn't very helpful.
Until Sir Semaj I rose up and went to a distant and mysterious star system, on it he found a planet like no other! It's inhabitants were cows, he took them back to Water and gave everyone milk from the cows, and so the cure to the spiciness was found and obtained!
Unfortunately for Sir Semaj and the inhabitants of Water, the milk was filled with radioactive particles.
So everyone died, except for a small boy named Rupert who miraculously survived.
Now, Rupert was no ordinary boy...
Because he could turn into a leaf.
But he was actually a bug.
But he could still turn into a leaf.
He was offered three wishes by a Genie, first he wished that the milk was never radioactive, so all of the inhabitants of Water came back. But then the Genie went away, since he was only alive because all of the inhabitants died. So the universe entered into a paradox...
So Water declared war on Earth.
But nothing could happen in a paradox, because the whole of time and space was stuck in a time-loop.
Then Scaramouche turned into Darth Maul.
Darth Maul was, of course, Darth Yoda's apprentice.
Darth Yoda was his son, even though he was his master.
Darth Yoda said, "Destroy the Jedi, we must," and sent Darth Maul to Utapau to kill Anakin Skywalker.
However, Anakin attacked Darth Maul with the help of a small Ewok named Bobo.
Meanwhile, Palpatine, the Supreme Master of the Jedi Order, confronted Darth Yoda in the latter's office.
Palpatine discovered that Darth Yoda was actually Luke Skywalker in disguise.
Luke snarled, "Your overconfidence is your weakness," and fired a burst of green lightning at the aged Jedi master.
The aged Jedi master was actually the Ewok named Bobo.
Bobo said "Ootini!" and, with a massive push, threw Luke backwards, over his chair, into a wall.
The wall fell on top of Luke.
He growled and threw it, along with a couple of Senate pods, at Bobo.
Bobo was hurt.
And he was angry.
He decided right then and there to turn to a life of crime.
He teamed up with Vulrus the Space Pirate and became the 'Terror of the Galaxy' known to his friends as Totg.
But Vulrus the Space Pirate turned out to be his long lost uncle, who's actual name was Vladimir.
Who's actual name was Valdimar.
But he decided to change it to Frank when he went on a picnic with his favorite stuffed animal.
He had a habit of eating cabbage seven times a day.
Whose name was Something-ruther.
One day, he was brutally murdered while working in his vegetable garden.
He was murdered by a maniacal cucumber.
Who was then eaten by a peaceful and friendly hamster by the name of SKULLCRUSHER THE BARBARIAN.
SKULLCRUSHER THE BARBARIAN lived in a pineapple.
But the pineapple was eaten while he was inside.
So SKULLCRUSHER THE BARBARIAN became furious and decided to kill the idiot that ate his favorite pineapple house.
Then SKULLCRUSHER THE BARBARIAN decided to write a book.
Unfortunately, he didn't know how to write.
The book was called SKULLCRUSHER THE BARBARIAN and the Sad Tale of His Pineapple House. Amazingly, no one liked the book.
That was probably because it was just a bunch of random lines.
This made SKULLCRUSHER THE BARBARIAN very, very angry.
Whenever he was very, very angry, he ate cotton candy.
With pickles.
Then, his hunger sated, he would crush skulls.
Then, after that, he would pick daisies and catch butterflies.
He caught three butterflies and named them Peter, Percy, and Penelope.
He sold them for ten cents each.
With the thirty cents he bought Penelope back.
Then sold her for five cents.
Then threw the nickel in the drain outside his house.
That made a nearby woman very mad for no apparent reason.
So she started crushing his skull.
He tried to bribe her with another nickel, but this only made her crush his skull even more.
Until SKULLCRUSHER was dubbed skullcrushed.
But he didn't have a skull to begin with so his title was stripped from him.
After crushing his skull, the woman (who's name was Dora) decided to bake some cookies.
But the cookies ate her.
This was because the cookies weren't just your average chocolate chip or gingersnap variety - they were the fearsome CANNIBAL COOKIES! :o
But they didn't eat each other...so they weren't cannibalistic.
And they met the SPESS MEHREENS.
Who couldn't really speak...
But one of their number, Captain Indrick Baldreale, killed the cookies with his baldness.
But then the other SPESS MEHREENS turned on Captain Baldy and killed him.
Captain Baldreale owned a cat named Fluffelsteenie.
Who was called Fluff.
Fluff was made that the SPESS guys had killed Baldreale.
And then oasighfiasghfuwapuiojeawhgf ib ate everything in sight and out of sight.
Fluffelsteenie wanted revenge on the whole galaxy for no reason at all.
But he was eaten by oasighfiasghfuwapuiojeawhgf ib so it didn't matter.
After tearing his way out of the other's chest, Fluffelsteenie decided to build a doomsday device that could destroy everything in the galaxy.
But the SPESS MEHREENS killed Fluffelsteenie and his KAOYZ allies.
Excpt the SPESS guys were ghosts so they only thought Fluffelwhatever was dead.
After a year of work, Fluff needed just one last part to complete his device: a 64oz jar of grape jelly.
Unfortunately, all the 64oz jars of grape jelly had been destroyed, so had any way of making them or making the things that make the things that make the things that make them.
Fortunately, the things that make the things that make them were still intact and readily available.
But Fluff didn't know what they were for so he destroyed them 'cause he was bored.
So, he decided to use a 64oz. jar of strawberry jelly instead.
But he found out the same thing had happened with them as the grape, he got so mad that he ate Jamze Griffen the Monitor Lizard, a relation of Games Jryphon.
So he used a jar of blueberry jelly instead.
But Games was upset with Fluff so he did the same to the blueberry as with the grape and strawberry.
But then he realized there was another way to make the machine - with help of the Spess Mehrenes, Kaoyz, and Scevin Rets he could hook up a generator to Ledthion, who was spinning deep in his grave in the fiery center of the planet Earth - a horrible an unforging place, covered in vile creatures, atmosphere destroyed from all the use of wars and paradoxes and deus ex machina. (Look it up dictionary style Kaoyz skrubz)
Finally Fluff was happy, but then Scars the Llort came
Fluff hated llorts, so he pulled the trigger on his now-completed doomsday device.
It didn't work for no reason at all.
... besides the fact that the wrong flavor of Ledthion was used.
But since there was only one flavor there really wasn't any reason why it should fail, but it did.
::)
So he activated his backup device, a huge antinuclear bomb, instead.
It didn't work either. >:D
But then it did, blowing up all llrots everywhere, and filling outer space with cosmic potato soup.
But Scars and his friends were still alive since they were llorts.
Strangely enough, llorts are really a cleverly-disguised variety of spinach.
The spinach turned whoever ate it pink, and replaced their hair with yellow polka dots that produced sparkles all the time.
((wishing people would stop with all the deus ex machina))
It was related to the spicy pepper, so it passed from generation to generation
But the Scevin and SPESS MEHREENS drowned all the spinach.
Or so he thought, he didn't really because the spinach didn't breath.
But then, it was touched by the freezing cold nose of the dog.
The dog turned out to be a skunk named Jerry, who was a donut maker.
His product only sold in the United States; whenever they tried to deliver them outside of the country, riots ensued.
The place that loved his donuts the most was a small town called Sugar.
That was because they had never had, nor even heard of, true doughnuts.
A "true doughnut" was actually a type of donut that made whoever ate it go completely insane and kill everything and everyone in sight.
So that's why Khorn love ponies.
My Little Ponies, to be exact.
The chaotic MLP forces had destroyed most of the known world, and saw in Sugar a perfect opportunity to use their ruinous powers.
But the MLP was suddenly destroyed by Jerry the Skunk.
Then, the world started over again.
And a unicorn named Herman had an existential crisis.
Herman was actually a Manatee/Narwhal, which was the reason for him being called a unicorn.
One day, he got his horn stuck in an elevator door before he got in.
So he left it.
He set out to find a doctor to get him a new horn.
He found a doctor, unfortunately this doctor had a P.H.D. in Archeology.
"I hate you," said the narwhal, whose name was Aysymorez.
He decided to take the Archaeologist hostage.
This Archeologist's name was Ozymandias.
"My name is Ozymandias," said Ozymandias as he struggled in the rope.
Aysymorez laughed coldly as he lifted Ozymandias over the fire pit.
Ozymandias continued as Aysymorez laughed. "My name is Ozymandias, king of kings: Look upon my works you narwhal and despair."
"SILENCE!" boomed the narwhal.
"I have painfully lost my horn and this is what I get as a thanks, someone who deals in rocks and dirt?!"
He put a piece of tape over Ozymandias' mouth.
Ozymandias then revealed his true form...a tadpole.
Aysymorez frowned deeply and watched as the tadpole, now reduced in size, fell into the fire, burning to a crisp.
"What a crying shame," murmured the narwhal in mock-sorrow. He would have to find a "new" doctor, and hopefully one he would not have to kill.
This tadpole though, was the legendary Cinderpole and as such completely immune to fire.
Asysymorez kept walking.
Ozymandias, seeing his chance, possessed Asysymorez.
Asysymorez's eyes lit a bright, burning red.
"All hail King Ozymandias of the Tadpoles!" he screamed.
Ozymandias twitched with rage. He was an emperor.
Because of Ozymandias' own anger, his grip over Asysymorez seceded.
Asysymorez was free to flourish!
With his own thoughts back in his head, he whirled around, thrusting a spear at the Tadpole Emperor.
"Fight me now or back down!"
But then they were both killed by catapults shooting rocks into the giant fortress they were in.
When the smoke cleared, it became visible that there was a saying on the stones that had crushed both of the bodies.
Written on them, elegantly etched in, was the saying "He that tries shall try."
Then, all of a sudden, Asysymorez gave a spluttering gasp of breath!
He lived!
Then the ceiling of the room they were in collapsed, crushing him under five tons of stone bricks.
But since he was already mostly dead, he was now mostly alive!
Asysymorez shrieked in fury and pain but pressed on.
The impact of the rocks had awoken him!
He burst through the rubble and ran into town like a horse in the morning.
Straight into the waiting spirit of Ozymandias.
"Heck to you!" Asysymorez screamed. This wasn't canon to his story anyway. He did a double backflip over the spirit and kept running.
Unfortunately, he tripped and the spirit of Ozymandias took over Asysymorez again.
But he didn't trip so he kept running.
With Ozymandias close behind.
"Cure you!" he shouted.
Asysymorez had no idea what was ailing him and so kept running.
Asysymorez died of a mysterious disease. Ozymandias laughed and flew into the air, determined to be the next President of Sissimithius, a planet that was directly behind Pluto.
Before he could become President, he had to prove himself. He decided to do this by proving that Vulcan did indeed exist, so he went to Mercury.
"Hello, I am Mercury," said Mercury. "Why have you come?"
"To find the planet Vulcan," said Ozymandias. "I didn't know planets could speak!"
"And I didn't know that you were so stupid," said Mercury. "Do you need the MAP OF VULCAN? The only beings who can find Vulcan must first acquire the MAP. To acquire the MAP, one must complete FIVE CHALLENGES for me, Mercury. Are you up to the task, Ozymandias?"
"If Hercules could complete 12, then I can complete five!" said Ozymandias indignantly.
"That is what they all say," boomed Mercury. "And yet no one has the MAP to date."
"Well then," Ozymandias said quietly for dramatic effect. "That is about to change."
"Is it?" said Mercury, leaning closer in its orbit.
"Your first task is to go to Venus and breathe in the toxic fumes. If you survive, report back to me."
Ozymandias went to Venus. Unfortunately for Mercury, Ozymandias found the goddess herself and breathed in her perfumes which were so strong, some have called them toxic. He then reported back to Mercury.
"You smell like perfumes!" barked Mercury. "You must go to the planet Venus, not the Goddess. Off with you!"
"You never made such a stipulation!" Ozymandias cried indignantly. "I followed your instructions to the letter! Now give me my next task or be pulverized!"
"You will not find the MAP OF VULCAN without me. And one such as you cannot destroy a planet, Ozymandias. Do as I say." boomed Mercury.
Unfortunately for Mercury, Ozymandias didn't care that much about proving himself. He pulverized Mercury, and floated to Vulcan as he had found the map in Mercury's core.
"I am Vulcan," said Vulcan.
"I see that you have become a Gary Stu, Ozymandias."
Ozymadias beamed with pride at these words. Becoming a Gary Stu was his highest ambition.
"Why are you here?" said Vulcan, taking note of Ozymandias' grin with his own disgust.
"Just to find you," Ozymandias said. "I'm on my way back to Sissimithius."
"To become President?"
"Perhaps and perhaps not."
"DO NOT LIE TO VULCAN!"
"I am not, I am simply not telling you."
Vulcan read Ozymandias' mind. He indeed wanted to become Prezzers of Sissimithius.
"Good luck with that."
But he didn't have it.
(Have what?)
(Luck.)
So he had good fortune instead!
But he lost it when he was presumed dead, and all of his assets were given away to the next of kin his fifth cousin's brother's sister's granddaughter's half-sister's niece's step-nephew.
Unfortunately, this relative was on Earth, and only received half a sock. Meanwhile, Ozymandias had finally arrived on Sissimithius to become president.
Like most presidents, this position was only ceremonial, and he lived out his days there as a figurehead with no power.
No visible power at least. Secretly, he was the head of the Order of the Galaxy. Which meant that he had power over all of the known civilizations in the Milky Way Galaxy.
Unfortunately, civilization had not developed yet, and thus he died a lonely old man with only his pretense of power to keep him company.
"That is sad," said Funeral Man.
*Plot Twist*
The Funeral Man, was the Man With No Name's nephew!
He was called the Funeral Man because he had attended every funeral in his city since he was born for the past forty years.
He even had his name legally changed to Funeral Man when he was sixty-three.
Now he roamed the universe, in a poncho made from the fabric that lines coffins. Trying to organize the best funerals this universe has ever seen.
He scooped up Ozymandias' limp body in his arms.
Funeral Man's eyes glistened softly.
"I will give you the best funeral you have ever been to."
And with that he went to the nation that respected his art the most: Ireland.
Funeral Man layed Ozymandias out into three Irish Rocks.
"Ow!" said all of the Dwayne Johnsons at once.
Then the Funeral Man threw a wake, an Irish Wake, for Ozymandias.
Everyone in town showed up.
They cheered and celebrated the occasion.
For it was after all, an Irish Wake, and everyone celebrated the life of Ozymandias!
Then they had a nice depressing funeral.
(Seriously James? Why are you constantly making the story do the exact opposite of what we just said? It's killing the fun of the game.)
Thankfully, this depressing funeral was for someone else. At Ozymandias' there was feasting and joy in celebrating the life of such a great man.
(It's not like we've never been on opposite sides before, here or in similar games on the forum. Technically speaking, if we look back at the log I think you started reversing things this time first, probably out of habit. ;) If we look back it's not that uncommon. But my approach was heavy-handed, and I will try to work with things more going forward.)
The Funeral Man liked depressing funerals, and so needed one after the revelry of his previous event.
(Quite right, I do tend to be slightly hypocritical when it comes to these things. ;D Thanks though for your consideration.)
So he discarded the body of Ozymandias, and found another corpse to mourn. It was the corpse of Sukka.
"Your name rhymes with sucker," murmured Funeral Man to himself.
"And thus I shall give you a sad funeral."
Sukka awoke from her state of death to ask. "How in the blinkin' world does Sukka rhyme with sucker?"
Funeral Man grabbed a giant Funeral Spear (TM) and jabbed it through Sukka's chest.
"Take that, Sucka!" he yelled, rhyming her name with 'sucker'.
He proceeds to bury her.
Unfortunately, Funeral Man asked assistant to bury her, Ledthion, who thought that Funeral Man said "Berry her." So he went and got some berries. Accidentally picking the berries of life he squashed them over Sukka, accidentally bringing her back to life.
So Funeral Man killed them both and waved over his new assistant, Schreiieeen.
"Put them in the ground!"
So he did, but he heard grounds instead. So he cremated them and put them into some coffee that was being brewed nearby.
"I want some of that coffee," said Fuberal Man.
"MY EVIL BROTHER!" shouted Funeral Man.
Fuberal Man liked weddings.
"I like WEDDINGS, not dumb funerals!" Fuberal Man screamed, pulling out a wedding ring from his pocket. All the ladies in the land would want to marry him, but he would only pick one.
Funeral Man hissed like a vampire when he saw it.
He recoiled, flinching, but then straightened as a thought boomed in his mind.
A slow, crooked grin made its way onto Funeral Man's face.
"'Till death do us part, Brother," he mused, and drew a knife.
(Wow, it's crazy this thing is still going on! I never thought it'd last this long.)
Turns out it wasn't actually a knife, instead, he accidentally drew out a pineapple.
Inside of the pineapple lie a knife.
Inside the knife lie another pineapple.
Funeral Man christened this anomaly, the "Pineapple-Knife."
Funeral Man vanquished Fuberal Man with the "Pineapple-Knife"!
It turned everything it touched into pineapples.
Funeral Man ate Fuberal Man.
But he himself had touched the pineapple knife, so he too was turned into a pineapple.
So Pineapple Cannibalism was born.
SpongeBob SquarePants cut a hole in the pineapple flesh and moved in.
Squidward moved in next door.
And he went directly toward a squid.
Squidward was confused.
But Squidward eventually figured it out.
"I will play the clarinoot," said Squiggred.
AND THEN THE WHOLE WORLD EXPLODED.
This was caused by the famed Jryphon banning everyone from the universe.
"Oh well," said the universe.
Squiggred died.
and then a wierd fictitous character named earacorn
said it sure is warm in here and larry and jimmy said how ya doin brah
and earacorn said.................................
"I wish I had a sandwich."
Suddenly, a fat donkey fell out of the sky and slapped him across the face.
"You know those are illegal in Alaska!" he said.
Suddenly a large dog came and ate the donkey.
Its name was Kloof
And she was hungry for pirates...
Pirates ran from her.
Except for one called Bigrow Bones.
This was because he had no legs.
Bigrow Bones was eaten.
The rest of the crew were horrified.
But they *had* left him behind while running away so it was really their fault.
But now they wanted to avenge him because he was the head cook and the had always loved his meals.
So they attacked the horse and cut open its stomach.
Then they were instantly appalled at how gruesome the Endless Story had become...
In their moment of distraction the horse kicked them!
(Also in the previous page everyone was turned into pineapples and eaten... This story has always been gruesome Del)
(But that was only pineapples that were being eaten.)
The crew were shocked by the dead's horse reanimation.
So the horse kicked them.
It then called its comrades from the depths of the Earth. The Zombie Horse Apocalypse was upon us.
Thus PIRATES VS ZOMBIE HORSES! was born.
And they prepared for the battle of their lives!
While directors filmed it.
And started to sell tickets.
Then the war began.
And it was terrible.
Very bloody.
But rather awesome.
A spectacle.
That only some of the richest people could watch safely.
A d even then the death rate was high...
The horses were losing...
But the pirates were out of gunpowder.
So they grabbed cutlasses instead...
But now the horses were winning
So the pirates cooked up a sneaky plan.
And set fire to the horses
The horses ran about in terror!
And into the audience.
Who screamed with panic.
As they died.
Now the pirates screamed with fury and charged the horses with spoons.
Porridge spoons
that were very sharp and deadly.
Almost like forks
but not quite as useful.
So like knives.
But even better.
Either way the pirates won.
After that, they lost the war.
And the world was overrun by horses.
Until the end of the world. (Or their end, whichever comes first)
Meanwhile, Helga the Dairy Farmer had encountered a problem.
Her cows weren't laying eggs!
And her chickens weren't giving milk!
And her goats said OINK!
And her pigs go BAAAAA!
And she doesn't have a roof...
And the roof doesn't have her...
And she lives on a lake.
Not far from a toad.
Who's really a prince in a costume.
Who's name was Charlie the Infamous.
Because he wasn't famous
And thpoke with a conthtant lithp.
And a th-th-thtu-t-ter.
And also croaked very loudly.
One day a Princess rode by. Her name was Keva
Unfortunately, she died within two posts of entering the story!
Fortunately it was for the greater good for she was really evil.
But her brother the prince was a powerful, kind, amazing, handsome, prince.
Alas he had been squished by an ugly troll. The kingdom rejoiced
Alas the troll's name was Grey and was hung for his crimes...
The whole kingdom mourned
Because the kingdom was in fact a tribe of brainless orcs.
Brainless, but loveable orcs
who killed important people like the prince and the troll.
Because they loved them and wanted to send them to heaven
But unfortunately they were so brainless that
they were incapable of any feelings
because they had been bashed on the bead by a
furious rabid crocodile who then
(Welcome, Booklover)
Tried to eat their friend, the dragonfly who
once plunged into a pool of
Dragon blood that
Was actually mango juice
mixed with
a bunch of mashed up carolina reaper peppers
So, when they furious, rabid crocodile ate the dragonly, he
was set on fire
When the pirates saw the flames they
decided there might be some loot to be gotten
inside the charred remains of the crocodile so
they were like "ew that's gross" and walked away
except one pirate who still wanted the treasure and
his tiny cricket friend that liked shiny things because
he was green and enjoyed
the smell of dinner in the morning
with golden syrup and
Lots of blue cookies
with coconut icing that had
absolutely nothing to do with coconuts
or strawberry
or anything for that matter, but even so
It somehow tasted nice
because of the
expert panda chefs that had baked it
and the panda grandmother who had put lots of TLC into it...
, little did anybeast know, though, that the panda grandmother's TLC stood for tender love and cracked-peppercorn
soup with bottled beans
, which she somehow baked into cookies
That were coloured blue (therefore greatly enjoyed by Percy Jackson, but that's not the point)
, though they were the kind of blue where you aren't sure if it's blue or green, which is really rather annoying
But according to Percy Jackson, they were blue
and red with green spots and pink
and all the other colo(u)rs as well, but regardless
Percy claimed they were blue
and red. One day the
Bloodthirsty little beasts known as ducks
decided to steal the blue and red cookies while they were
Being baked by weasels (therefore they're weasel cookies)
. One day, in the town of Freezenburg, the
Freezenfolk felt a little under the weather because it just wasn't cold enough
so they hired a magician to
spark some flames from a large
Object that was covered with gold glitter
that exploded if it came in contact with
Anything that was coloured purple
. Then the grumpy cow said "Why
Are ducks so evil?
They should just learn how to
Be nice to Herondales
and eat pumpkin soup with
a pack of slightly off kilter ninja pandas
." Then the snail replied; "Is
this Freezenburg, home of the Freezenfolk?" to which the grumpy cow answered
"No, this is Hungary, land of the Hungry. Over there is Thirstary
town in which you could go if you were thirsty, apart from the fact that we're hungry so we are going to
visit the megacity, Foodopolis, where much food can be acquired
if you trade it for snails
, and so the Hungarians traded the traveling snail for food
But the food was escargot
so the snail died
But nobody mourned for David Attenborough (that was what the snail was called) because
they were all arrogant snobs who
Didn't realise that
snails are (probably) people too, so
The snails hired some
thugs with hearts of gold to
Do whatever thugs with mauve souls
do. Unfortunately,
they got lost in the depths of
the pit of
The weird snakeyfish thing
that was actually more of an eel than a fish
. So they tried to
grab it with a large net that looked like
a large net, but unfortunately
It was actually a duck (RA reference, not a TSC reference)
which the snakeyfish thing promptly ate
Meaning Will (Herondale, not Treaty (TSC not RA this time) planned a huge party
but, unfortunately, the snakeyfish ate Will too
But nobody knew which Will
, not even the snakeyfish, so
All that happened was a party didn't happen
. Will, however, wanted to
Come back to life
Spoiler
(again, since he died, meaning the epilogue was extremely sad)
But couldn't, for whatever reason. Suddenly, out of the surrounding forest, four hobbits came walking along. One of them had a
Piece of Hawaiian pizza, which he'd saved for third breakfast,
but he decided to throw it away since pineapple doesn't belong on pizza
But the now revived Will caught it
and both were promptly eaten by the snakeyfish, again
Who was promptly sick because he was allergic to
water. Which was a problem because
He lived in it, and
so did the evil creatures that infested his mind
A sly girl named Beatrice came along. "I want some food" she said with smile.
Another random kid, this one named after a number,
ran away screaming because of the look Beatrice gave 'em
Even though they were famous for
eating pineapple on pizza, which led them to ask
Whether it was really
necessary to eat pineapple on pizza
, eventually deciding that it was.
The poor child then died.
Unfortunately, nobody actually
noticed because they were too busy
eating fruit cake, so when they
visited their elderly mothers
, who, after much grumbling,
flew off into the night sky
On purple spotted helicopters,
humming with the power of the universe
. "noddy, stop eating small
kittens, children taste much better," said the witch
whose name was Mrs
thimbill, who had a
slighly larger than usual nose, which
made her trip, so she
packed her bags and flew to japan, but
Found out that she
was actually a robot in disguise
named Tammy. She decided to
vomit in the grass
Because that totally isn't gross
and robots can totally vomit
Which meant that she realised
that if five cats splated
she would be really sad
thus not being a
Robot, unless she had a GPP (genuine people personality)
which she was pretty sure she didn't, since
She didn't have any towels with her (not that that was actually necessary), nor
a talking monkey named George
(That was actually a snake who was friends with a rat)
but, she did have a penny
Farthing, which she
immediately threw away, since
Having two different-sized
eye balls, witch
Cleo couldn't tell the difference
, meant that
she had too
move to Kansas and
Watch the weather channel
, and, thanks to the
Amazing, wonderful, brilliant
and very tall
Giraffe known as
Figile short nose, who
Actually didn't have
a nose at all, because
For some reason, when
he fell into
A massive pit-trap in
frankfort, so the moste man
Ate some pieces of peace pizza
witch had some
Very tasty pineapple
that somebeast put on his pizza
Because pineapple on pizza is amazing
for killing beasts
Who are severely allergic to
nothing, pineapple on pizza is gross
Only in the views of idiots (don't worry, I don't think you're an idiot)
was pineapple on pizzas EVER a good thing (nor I)
(That sentence is contradictory. Please correct your post.)
, so they threw that pizza out and got
Quote from: Booklover on March 31, 2020, 03:20:43 PM
(That sentence is contradictory. Please correct your post.)
(the sentence is still contradictory. Please correct your post)
some fried chicken and a huge chocolate cake, which
They were allergic to.
They decided to give the food to their
Teacher, who had pink toes
Which had a lot of
admirers, for some reason, so
That meant that if
the teacher ate the food,
She would (sadly)
take over the entire universe and
feed all the cats to a
Welsh dragon call Draig who...
had a strange fancy for lemonade. Draig decided...
to raid every single shop in the world and steal all the lemonade. Luckily for us...
he wasn't really sure what lemonade was, so
a very pink potato appeared and taught him the legend of the taco.
Confused, Draig asked the very pink potato if
He knew the way to Santa Fe. The potato
was just a potato, though, so it wasn't able to answer. However,
the nice henchman who was walking nearby, did.
And thus, the gang went on their way to Santa Fe, finding
an absurd amount of Shrek DVDs.
They also found some
green bean flavored lemonade
(:P)
Then they decided to head over to the...
Fish manor
They knocked on the door and, to their surprise, the very...
FISHY butler ushered them in
When they entered, that were met with a very FISHY...
Land owner who gave them some FISHY...
News about the pig's...
Straw house which a wolf
Had started eating.
They thought this was...
FISHY, so they investigated.
The investigation started off...
FISHY, but they found a house made of candy.
The house was odd...(FISHY you might even say) as it smelled of...
Burnt flesh. They turned the corner and found a FISHY...
Dictionary, which was very fishy because
It was Pointless, and...
https://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=731.0;topicseen
It came from the Central African Republic Not saying that dictionaries from there are useless, it's just that it's a famous pointless answer.
When opened, however, the book proved to have the ability to grant...
Shapeshifting...
Something completely pointless because
the ability wasn't needed. However
They decided to take the book along as well as some...
chocolate. Now, in the farthest reaches of the nearby kingdom of Narvalio, a monster stirred. His name
Was Merlin. (*Merlin themetune plays*)
Merlin wanted...
Radioactive Icecream...
With random green...
Cabbage cult members.
However, this required there to be a cabbage cult.
So, they went
To the moon
To see if
there was lentil soup. (Say what you what it's amazing.)
(Agreed.)
There was in fact...
Lentil soup, but...
It was cold and had...
Strange shallots...
So he ate it anyways.
The End.
But it wasn't the end, because Goldilocks came by and took a bite out of him, but found him too cold...
So she pulled out a sword...
And drove it into...
The magical stone...
Which exploded...
And covered Goldilocks in green slime, which...
Strangely smelled like...
Dehydrated raddishes, and also...
Re-frozen ice cream...
Fortunately, Merlin had decided to...
Save the day, and...
Summoned a dragon, who...
was named Puff, and buried several cherries in the ground, which...
Sprouted into magical...
cows, which Merlin used to
Establish a very successful dairy farm. Meanwhile...
The red mushroom...
Was eaten by an Italian plumber named Mario, who then...
Fell in love with Princess Potato, who was captured by...
Prince Charming, who dastardly had decided to...
Hold the Princess Potato for ransom, Which...
Forced the Princess Potato to pull out her secret weapon, the Spud-inator 3000. Suddenly...
Baked Potato swung in on a lasso like Indiana Jones and KO'd Prince Charming, which totally ruined Princess Potato's glorious moment of saving herself. She then...
Swung on Baked potato, enraged that her moment was ruined. In response, he...
Told her to always eat what's on her plate. She responded by...
... singing "Old McDonald Had a Farm" while being abducted by random aliens...
Who carved up Baked Potato, and then fed the pieces to a nearby Rancor (https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Rancor/Legends), who...
...Snarled and gnawed the pieces into dust, then layed down on the floor and...
Fell through a crack in the fabric of reality into a universe where...
... chickens replaced humans and...
Conquered most of space and blew up several suns, which...
...while being destroyed, blew up an Infinity Stone and displaced time and space, which caused...
The Doctor to appear and save the day, when suddenly five Daleks...