Jokes

[Griffen]

blonde joke

a blond was in the middle of a field on a paddle boat and didn't know how to use it. she was screaming for help when another blonde walked by on the side walk.
"help me!" she screamed.
"i would, but i can't swim." replied the other blonde.

[AbbotAlf0805]

Yo mama

Yo mama so ugly that when Bob the Builder got outta his truck he looked at h her and said, "I can't fix that!"

[Skyblade]

Blonde jokes(and I don't hate blondes, just find these jokes kinda funny)

A blonde was steering a helicopter. She felt cold, so she turned off the fan and died.

My favorite one:

A gingerhead, brunette, and a blonde were running from policemen. The ginger hid behind a cow, the brunette behind a horse, and the blone behind a sack of potatoes.
When the police looked at the cow, the ginger said, "moo"
When the police looked at the horse the brunette said, "neigh"
and when they looked at the sack of potatoes, the blonde said, "potato"

[Capn Greypatch]

A joke thread, excellent! I love comedy.
Haha, and I'm kind of notorious around here for my jokes (most are lame, but funny lame! At least I hope ).
Anyway, here's two for you:

Ever since my friend became a mime, I haven't heard from him...

Why are lobsters so greedy?
They're shellfish. (lol)

[Rainshadow]

  Oh yeah!

[Redwallfan7]

Lol!

[W0NWILL]

A yo momma joke for all you Harry Potter fans!

Yo momma was so fat, her patronous was a cake!

And another joke:

Three guys walk into a pet store, one buys a parrot, another buys a hen, and the last one buys a Budgerigar. They then go to a cliff, the first guy pulls out his parrot and a rifle. He jumps off the cliff and shoots the parrot, and falls to his death.
The second guy pulls out his hen, and jumps over the cliff, and falls to his death.
The third guy pulls out his budgie, and jumps over the cliff, and falls to his death.

Parrot-shooting, Hen-gliding, and Budgie-jumping

[Gears]

Been waiting for something like this. XD


A man has this EXTREMELY pessimistic friend. Always seeing the dark side of things, always depressed. One day the man takes his intelligent and gifted dog, and his pessimist friend duck hunting. (hello this is dawg. XD) When they're sitting in a pond in a deep section in a boat, the man downs a bird. The dog calmly trots out on top of the water, gets the bird, then walks back. This happens three more times, then when the man finally decides to head back. On the car ride home, he turns to his friend and says "Did you notice anything different about my dog?"
The pessimist replies "Yeah, he couldn't swim."

I love that one. XD

[W0NWILL]

Huh?

I got a dog. I named him Stay. It's fun to call him, Come here, Stay! He went insane.

[Gears]

Ah! here's another one!

A rich man, a poor man, and a child are(is? Geez. ) riding on a plane. The pilot has a heart attack, and the jet plummets down to the earth. There's two parachutes available, not enough to evac all three passengers. The rich man is a turd, so he snatches a parachute, and jumps out.  The poor man says to the child "Take the other one, I'm poor, there's not much for me anyhow." The child doesn't respond for a while, then looks at the man and says "That guy took my backpack!"

BWAHAHAHAHA! I'm easily amused. XD

[Gears]

Huh?

I got a dog. I named him Stay. It's fun to call him, Come here, Stay! He went insane.

The dog could walk on water, but the pessimist saw it as a weakness for lack of swimming. It's not as funny when i explain it. XD

[Redwallfan7]

Huh?

I got a dog. I named him Stay. It's fun to call him, Come here, Stay! He went insane.

Lol! Good One!

[W0NWILL]

When asked how he wanted to die, the man said, "peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in the car he was driving."

[Gears]

When asked how he wanted to die, the man said, "peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in the car he was driving."

Awesome! Haven't heard that one in forever. XD

[Gears]

Blonde jokes(and I don't hate blondes, just find these jokes kinda funny)

A blonde was steering a helicopter. She felt cold, so she turned off the fan and died.

My favorite one:

A gingerhead, brunette, and a blonde were running from policemen. The ginger hid behind a cow, the brunette behind a horse, and the blone behind a sack of potatoes.
When the police looked at the cow, the ginger said, "moo"
When the police looked at the horse the brunette said, "neigh"
and when they looked at the sack of potatoes, the blonde said, "potato"

BABAHAHAHAHA! My gosh, this thread should be called "Make your day thread" or something. XD