Redwall Abbey

General Boards => The Cellars => Topic started by: Ashleg on April 24, 2017, 04:49:38 PM

Title: Cwool Sunglassers
Post by: Ashleg on April 24, 2017, 04:49:38 PM
Welcome to President Ashleg's Government-Funded Emporium.
Summer is on the rise, so I'm selling Cwool Sunglassers (TM) so you Woodlanders an' vermin can protect your eyes.
COME AND GET SOME....
CWOOL SUNGLASSERS...

BEFORE THEY GO OUT OF STOCK FOREVER!
Title: Re: Cwool Sunglassers
Post by: Luftwaffles on April 24, 2017, 05:11:56 PM
I would like a pair, good sir.
Title: Re: Cwool Sunglassers
Post by: Ashleg on April 24, 2017, 05:20:38 PM
Would ya now?
You have any means to pay for that, Sir?
Title: Re: Cwool Sunglassers
Post by: Luftwaffles on April 24, 2017, 05:24:59 PM
I have a shotgun, which is an universal form of currency.

*Hammers it*.

Look, it works!
Title: Re: Cwool Sunglassers
Post by: Ashleg on April 24, 2017, 05:37:08 PM
*brandishes sunglassers like a weapon* IS THAT A THREAT TO YOUR PRESIDENT?
Title: Re: Cwool Sunglassers
Post by: Luftwaffles on April 24, 2017, 05:40:00 PM
It is!
Title: Re: Cwool Sunglassers
Post by: Ashleg on April 24, 2017, 08:52:37 PM
Guards! Take him to the guillotine!
Title: Re: Cwool Sunglassers
Post by: Luftwaffles on April 24, 2017, 08:58:18 PM
Quote from: Ashleg on April 24, 2017, 08:52:37 PM
Guards! Take him to the guillotine!

I AM the guard.
Title: Re: Cwool Sunglassers
Post by: Ashleg on April 24, 2017, 09:35:13 PM
Right, and I am your father.
Nobeast hired you.

*the AEFBI (Ashleg-Endorsed Federal Bureau of Investigation) storms in*

"PUT YER HAAAANDS UP, MISTER 'Sierra', IF THAT IS YOUR NAME!"
Title: Re: Cwool Sunglassers
Post by: Luftwaffles on April 24, 2017, 09:41:57 PM
Actually, my name is Tokoyami.

But that doesn't have anything to do with anything!
Title: Re: Cwool Sunglassers
Post by: The Skarzs on April 24, 2017, 09:58:12 PM
*Snaps picture.*
This will look great on the Hourly Drama! "President Ashleg is a perpetrator! What happens to this man trying to buy Cwool Sunglassers with a shotgun will shock you".
Title: Re: Cwool Sunglassers
Post by: Ashleg on April 24, 2017, 10:54:01 PM
"Tokoyami has been marched off to the gallows, President Sir!"

Good, good...
Hey, you!
Fiend with the camera!
Buzz off!
Title: Re: Cwool Sunglassers
Post by: The Skarzs on April 24, 2017, 11:02:12 PM
*Runs away.* The forum needs to know everything so their eyes can be opened!
Title: Re: Cwool Sunglassers
Post by: Ashleg on April 24, 2017, 11:27:10 PM
DON'T PLAY THOSE GAMES, SKARZIE! THEY KNEW I WAS EVIL THE MOMENT THEY VOTED FOR ME!
Title: Re: Cwool Sunglassers
Post by: The Skarzs on April 25, 2017, 12:07:34 AM
So did the majority of Liberals with Trump.
That's not gonna stop me! My antipsuedofeminist mindset won't allow me to just shut up, so I'll continue to yell loudly via all caps text at people who don't support my views!
Title: Re: Cwool Sunglassers
Post by: Lady Ashenwyte on April 25, 2017, 12:17:56 AM
Hey I'd like to buy a pair of your cwool "sunglassers"
Title: Re: Cwool Sunglassers
Post by: Luftwaffles on April 25, 2017, 12:21:00 AM
Those are not the actions of a hero, Mr President.
Title: Re: Cwool Sunglassers
Post by: Ashleg on April 25, 2017, 12:56:23 AM
*hops up and down*
I am a hero! A HERO I say!

I...
You'd like to purchase a pair of my Cwool Sunglassers, Ashenwyte?
...'aight. That will be five gold coins.
Title: Re: Cwool Sunglassers
Post by: Lady Amber on April 25, 2017, 01:43:16 AM
"Cwool Sunglassers?" I think I'll just stick with plain sunglasses, thank you. 8)
Title: Re: Cwool Sunglassers
Post by: Ashleg on April 25, 2017, 01:47:55 AM
*stamps on the ground*
Title: Re: Cwool Sunglassers
Post by: Lady Ashenwyte on April 27, 2017, 12:25:58 AM
Five gold coins? You can buy villages with five gold coins!

*Revs up chainaxe*
Title: Re: Cwool Sunglassers
Post by: Ashleg on April 27, 2017, 02:37:49 AM
*revs up those friars*
Title: Re: Cwool Sunglassers
Post by: Lady Ashenwyte on April 27, 2017, 01:10:02 PM
what did the friars ever do to you you monster
Title: Re: Cwool Sunglassers
Post by: The Skarzs on April 27, 2017, 02:59:29 PM
Ha ha ha-*cough cough hack.*
Title: Re: Cwool Sunglassers
Post by: Ashleg on April 27, 2017, 04:26:47 PM
THEY DIDN'T COOK WHAT I ASKED SO I COOKED THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Title: Re: Cwool Sunglassers
Post by: Wylder Treejumper on April 27, 2017, 07:10:19 PM
Extra! Extra! President Assaults Friars Engaged in Respectful Civil Disobedience! Read all about it!
Title: Re: Cwool Sunglassers
Post by: Russa Nodrey on April 27, 2017, 07:15:08 PM
Vhat iz happenink?
Title: Re: Cwool Sunglassers
Post by: Wylder Treejumper on April 27, 2017, 07:16:49 PM
Extra! Extra! Read all about it! Russian Squirrel Attempts to Interfere with Legitimate Journalism!
Title: Re: Cwool Sunglassers
Post by: Russa Nodrey on April 27, 2017, 07:25:48 PM
Vhat? Vhere?
Title: Re: Cwool Sunglassers
Post by: Wylder Treejumper on April 27, 2017, 07:29:09 PM
Fresh from the presses! Get the new headline! Russian Squirrel Denies Evidence Indicating She Interfered with the Free Press!
Title: Re: Cwool Sunglassers
Post by: Ashleg on April 27, 2017, 09:01:00 PM
There is no free press.

*revs up friars*
Title: Re: Cwool Sunglassers
Post by: Lady Ashenwyte on April 28, 2017, 03:59:02 PM
but why would you make monks cook for you
Title: Re: Cwool Sunglassers
Post by: The Skarzs on April 29, 2017, 01:54:49 AM
Obviously he's having them make beer, not solid food.
Title: Re: Cwool Sunglassers
Post by: Lady Ashenwyte on April 29, 2017, 05:09:47 AM
i like beer
Title: Re: Cwool Sunglassers
Post by: Ashleg on April 29, 2017, 05:22:55 AM
Quote from: The Skarzs on April 29, 2017, 01:54:49 AM
Obviously he's having them make beer, not solid food.

Was that a jab, son?
Title: Re: Cwool Sunglassers
Post by: The Skarzs on April 29, 2017, 05:09:51 PM
Monk-made beer is da best.
Title: Re: Cwool Sunglassers
Post by: Ashleg on May 01, 2017, 04:33:17 PM
Obviously.
NOW WHO WANTS TO GIVE ME MONEY?
Title: Re: Cwool Sunglassers
Post by: Luftwaffles on May 01, 2017, 05:30:51 PM
Queremos la cabeza, del presidente!
Title: Re: Cwool Sunglassers
Post by: Russa Nodrey on May 01, 2017, 08:13:45 PM
Quote from: Wylder Treejumper on April 27, 2017, 07:29:09 PM
Fresh from the presses! Get the new headline! Russian Squirrel Denies Evidence Indicating She Interfered with the Free Press!
Ov courze I deniet it, it iz not true!