So, as most of us know, our dear comrade Russa is obsessed with a toad she has christened "Freddy". She has even gone so far as to paint a picture of Freddy while in captivity in the Insane Asylum, and has also shared a meal of flies with the amphibian. This obviously indicates an extremely unstable mental state on Russa's part (well, she is in the asylum), but this is the worst degree of insanity I have ever witnessed, with the possible exception of Empress Eolyiaf.
What is to be done for poor Russa? Personally, I think we have to do away with Freddy. It's the only solution.
I caught a toad when I was a young child once, but I didn't know it needed lots of water and it dried out. Thanks for bringing back those horrible memories.
On a more relevant note, the royal amphibian musuem would be happy to "borrow" Freddy for use in our exhibits.
That's an idea.
What? Kill Freddy?! :o What's wrong with having a loveable pet? I personally will do all I can to prevent this from happening. Oh wait, I'm in the asylum, too.
By the way Izeroth, you're actually listening to someone (Jukka) who recently came out of an asylum? ::) What is the world coming to?
I was very well-behaved while in the asylum, which has a lot to do with why I'm free right now. But seriously, Russa is acting deranged. I believe Freddy must be squashed. Literally.
You should be taken back to the asylum!
I can help with that.
Hmm. . . Where is he hiding. . .
(http://ts4.mm.bing.net/th?id=HN.608034156715443057&pid=15.1&H=96&W=160)
There you are.
(http://ts4.mm.bing.net/th?id=HN.607987229901260967&pid=15.1&H=99&W=160)
Defiance is a useless attitude.
(http://ts4.mm.bing.net/th?id=HN.607988913524245024&pid=15.1&H=106&W=160)
. . . So is trying to be cute.
*Squishes Freddy*
(http://ts4.mm.bing.net/th?id=HN.608002296645223743&pid=15.1&H=213&W=160)
Objective reached.
I have a lot of experience dealing with insane prisoners. Many people just seemed to think that I was "corrupted". Obviously these people were infected with some horrible disease of the mind. Anyway, using my revolutionary new technology, they were all turned to my way of thinking. Perhaps... The same technology could be employed on Russa?
I am sure when you hear Freddy's backstory you will not destroy him.
Freddy was raised in a pond by his mother (a frog) and his father (a toad) which makes him a froad. When he was but a tadpole his parents were killed by an evil troll named Szraks. He escaped into a swamp where I happened to be drowning; he saved my life and we became best friends. One day my friend Freddy traveled to Paris to visit some relations. When he came back I had been locked up in the asylum so Freddy did what every good froad should do - he snuck in and made sure he made it to me with stuff we can use to escape (no one knows yet). It is obvious he been awesome from the beginning.
DO NOT KILL HIM!!!!!!
Aww.. What a touching story of friendship. Unfortunately, friendship does not get you territory or raise influence. Perhaps, when you have seen what I have, you will understand this.
Anyway, froads are illegal in my country. There were some bad froads who tried to take over the governments a while back, and they cannot be trusted.
(Not to mention the fact that most of my metal comes from the trolls and I have every reason to be on their side.)
You are evil and full of darkness!!!!!
It took you this long to figure that out? You're slow!
No! Don't kill Freddy! I shall help protect him Russa.
Um, how long were you planning that story, Russa? Also, how did the fact that I just made Freddy into a froad pancake go completely unnoticed?
(http://ts4.mm.bing.net/th?id=HN.608002296645223743&pid=15.1&H=213&W=160)
^^^^^
*Is on the side of the trolls.*
Quote from: Russa Nodrey on September 28, 2014, 04:10:41 AM
I am sure when you hear Freddy's backstory you will not destroy him.
Freddy was raised in a pond by his mother (a frog) and his father (a toad) which makes him a froad. When he was but a tadpole his parents were killed by an evil troll named Szraks. He escaped into a swamp where I happened to be drowning; he saved my life and we became best friends. One day my friend Freddy traveled to Paris to visit some relations. When he came back I had been locked up in the asylum so Freddy did what every good froad should do - he snuck in and made sure he made it to me with stuff we can use to escape (no one knows yet). It is obvious he been awesome from the beginning.
DO NOT KILL HIM!!!!!!
I'll help protect him!
Quote from: The Skarzs on September 28, 2014, 06:04:49 AM
Um, how long were you planning that story, Russa? Also, how did the fact that I just made Freddy into a froad pancake go completely unnoticed?
(http://ts4.mm.bing.net/th?id=HN.608002296645223743&pid=15.1&H=213&W=160)
^^^^^
Skar? That was a completely unrelated toad.
One question: Why?
Why not?
He was an innocent little frog! He didn't do a thing to you!
You're correct.
Of course I am. So, WHY DID YOU SQUASH HIM?!?!?!!?!?!?
He squashed it because some things in this world are more important than frogs. Like claiming territory and breaking out of poorly managed mental facilities, for example.
How are those more important than the life of a living creature?
Because they have lasting effects. Frogs die within a few years, but my great empire shall stand for millennia after millennia!
Not really. Remind me how long the Atlantean empire lasted? Oh wait, it never lasted.
Egyptian empire, however. . .
All things pass. Except Freddy.
So you think.
(http://ts4.mm.bing.net/th?id=HN.608002296645223743&pid=15.1&H=213&W=160)
Ah'm for loife (O' courze). Let ze froad live.
But... Froads are not supposed to be here. They introduced toads to Australia, and look what happened with that!!
Aye, ze rabbitz zat 'ad overpopulated zere ate 'em.
Well... It's a little different than that. Anyway, what I mean is, don't go introducing toads where they don't belong.
Vell, vho vaz ze idiot vho put ziz inzane azylum on ziz noice patch o' grazz vhere treez uzed tae be?!
Obviously not a good planner, because he built it right above sinkholes. It would only take a small amount of dynamite t'blast your way through the floor and obtain your freedom.
Not my asylum; it's built on very sturdy ground that had all vegetation blasted away by a volcano.
Wait, it's your asylum?! Then why am I locked up there!? I have a treaty with you, you merciless troll! I could annihilate your mining facilities!
I wasn't the one who locked you up!
Aye, 'e'z a victim o' 'iz ovn azylum. Good auld Skarzs, nyet?
So, basically, it's run be a bunch of buffoons who didn't even build it?
Aye, roight in a nutzhell.
*rides in on Diamond, and hits everyone on the head with a rubber hammer*
I'M FREE! I'M FREE!
I like frogs.
Let me have him! I will take care of him! I won't let evil emperors or trolls near him!
MMM! I loooove frog legs...
You monster! >:(
I couldn't agree more, trolls are monsters... ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
True, in one way; we're more of 'creatures' than 'monsters', however.
Hmm, but humans are creatures. So that does not have the desired effect.
Fish
Okay, so, has Freddy been squashed or not? Skarzs says he squashed him, but Russa says otherwise.
It would seem that we are at an impasse. Both sides refuse to accept each other's explanations.
So it would seem.
FREDDY IS ALIVE!!!!! Skarzs got the wrong froad!!!!
Quote from: Russa Nodrey on September 30, 2014, 10:45:41 PM
FREDDY IS ALIVE!!!!! Skarzs got the wrong froad!!!!
I agree.
YAAAY!!!!
YAY!!!
Aye.
Freddy is delighted that four people are on his side.
NO FREDDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE MUST QUENCH THE FIRE IF LIFE FROM HIS VEINS!!!!
I like Freddy
Yay! Another supporter!!! Freddy will live!
Ah'm a zupporter for loife, zae- Protect ze Froad!
Actually, Trolls aren't monsters. They're defined as Giants. Interesting, I thought they'd be classed as Monstrous Humanoids.
On a side note, they have 6 Intelligence and 6 Charisma, 10 being average.
Quote from: HeadInAnotherGalaxy on October 02, 2014, 12:48:42 AM
Ah'm a zupporter for loife, zae- Protect ze Froad!
Freddy is pleased.
I do not hate froads, I merely find them useless. Let me list the reasons why:
1: When I granted them a swamp to live in, the first thing they did was overfishing the local salmon.
2: They started a conflict with the nearby population of newts.
3: They refused to quiet down and stop croaking loudly when I complained to them.
4: They dammed up a scenic river.
5: They chopped down a scenic forest.
Eventually, the game was up. I ordered them to adhere to my rules at once. When they refused, I drove them out with a cavalry charge.
Yup. Froads are an invasive species.
I tore the kudzu in my country to shreds, I burned all of the Bradford pears, and I poisoned the Japanese honeysuckle. Why, therefore, is Freddy any different? Why should he be treated better than te other invasives I slay?
Because, contrary to your belief, your empire does not span the entire forum
I am quite aware of that. My empire technically only occupies a peninsula in the north. My sphere of influence, however, goes across much of the forum. Though independent in name, most of the countries near me are just puppet governments that follow my empire without question. I am not sure where Freddy is now, but it is quite likely that he is in one of these puppet countries. If so, I have the full power to annihilate him.
There are those that will resist your rule, myself included
Quote from: Izeroth on October 03, 2014, 09:15:45 PM
I tore the kudzu in my country to shreds, I burned all of the Bradford pears, and I poisoned the Japanese honeysuckle. Why, therefore, is Freddy any different? Why should he be treated better than te other invasives I slay?
No more kudzu, Japanese honeysuckle, or bradford pears? Jeez, what kimnd of tyrant are you?! (I'm only kidding.)
Quote from: Jetthebinturong on October 03, 2014, 09:47:40 PM
Because, contrary to your belief, your empire does not span the entire forum
Perhaps, Izzy, you should pay attention to this. ^^^^
Quote from: Izeroth on October 03, 2014, 10:31:25 PM
I am quite aware of that. My empire technically only occupies a peninsula in the north. My sphere of influence, however, goes across much of the forum. Though independent in name, most of the countries near me are just puppet governments that follow my empire without question. I am not sure where Freddy is now, but it is quite likely that he is in one of these puppet countries. If so, I have the full power to annihilate him.
Oh, now really, this is too much! I'm out of the Cellars again until this Freddy nonsense dies down.
Ah, that's a clever strategy, Rome. Puppet all the cities rather than annexing. Much less unhappiness, you'll need Mathematics before you can build a proper courthouse.
I do like to consider my empire's policies based on Rome, but unlike Ancient Rome, I don't recruit soldiers from lots of foreign countries. I also don't let the people really have any power at all, but that is obvious by now.
You may not realize this, but your evil emperor schtick wears thin VERY quickly. Quite frankly it's just annoying
I was not totally aware of this. I try not to do that in serious topics, but I suppose I've done it in cellar topics way too much. Any suggestions as to what would be much less annoying?
I was not aware that it was annoying...
Let Freddy live!!!
Aye Freddy shall live!
Can I post again?
I LOVE FROGS!!!!!!!!!!
They taste good.
Take that, Russa.
I think you would like the Amazon then. Lots of pretty frogs to munch on..
Or die on.
Indeed...
#gottalovefrogs.
The frogs here aren't worth much more than having the little siblings catch them. :P
Ah. They aren't very big down here either though we have seen some really big ones.
It's often hard to tell if something is a frog or a toad. I like toads more, because they aren't usually slimy like frogs can be.
I find toads funny, especially when they hop. With their short little legs all they can to is *doink* *doink* *doink* along. :D
*revives topic for no reason*
The froad has been eaten, obviously.
Nah, he's visiting relatives in Siberia. ;D
...May 'e ztay varm und nae become a frozen froad-zickle.
His relatives must have given him the. . . cold shoulder.
His infrequent visits create a . . . frozen atmosphere.
Whoa, there, Sand. Cool it.
Haha! He's fine, he emailed me yesterday. Want to hear what he said?
YES!
"I am living...barely. A cannibalistic hedgehog had trekked over mountains and valleys and icebergs hunting me down. He almost ate me but I foiled him and held him hostage for a time. Unfortunately he escaped and said that he was returning to take over the world with the help of some mindless minions."
--Freddy the Froad
;D ;D
^Whaaat? ;D
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Russa,
Siberia has been great! Uncle Festus and Aunt Olga are in very good health and were very happy to see me.
I've been pretty busy, but I got to go skiing yesterday and did not even die, which was nice.
I'm sending over a genuine Siberian goat hair coat. Hope you like it.
~Freddy
That's of little use if you can't produce body heat.
That's why the coat is for me.
*wonders if I should revive this topic*
Well, Now it's too late 'cause you have!
But, to make things official.
*Casts revive thread* ;D
So is that what Freddy the Froad is? Or am I missing something?
I'm not entirely sure what 'that' is, but Freddy's history is discussed on this topic.
We still don't know when he first turned up. Possibly check the insane asylum?
Yep, that's where.
Okay. *goes to find the insane asylum*
Hacteville should have a link. (Not like you didn't already find it. :P)
Yeah, I still haven't found the part where Freddy comes in yet. (but I'm definitely enjoying reading the previous posts)
EDIT: I found it! Post 354. *goes back to reading insane thread thing*
That was a good topic.
Yeah, it is. (I still have 242 pages to catch up on)
Good to see that Freddy is still around, despite this topic made to off the poor creature.
Invincible froad is invincible.
Verily.
Quite so.
"What news from the west Froad oh sighing wind Russa do you bring to me at eve~"