Redwall Abbey

It was a cold, violent winter's night
The hearth of Redwall was glowing bright
Beasts were gathered round with October Ale
To hear what would be a perilous tale.

The teller sat cozy next to the fire
The orange light illuminating his whiskers of iron
With a puff on his pipe and a sip of ale
The old squirrel's voice rose above the gale.

"I once journeyed far to the lands of the north
I found my way to a grimy sea port
With weary feet I could scarcely think
And so I boarded The Leaky Sink.

The captain of the galleon
Was a weathered old rapscallion
He was an otter with a peg for a leg
And a face to make the bravest warrior beg.

The crew was even less to like
Nearly half of them had lost an eye
They were a motley lot, mismatched
Not one to be trusted in the batch.

So I found myself among these deplorables
I couldn't think of anything more horrible
Until we lost all sight of land
And I realized I might not make it back.

On the thirteenth day we hit a storm
One ten times worse than the current one
The Leaky Sink was tossed about
We had to throw a few beasts out.

Then from the depths of the sea there rose an eel
And knocked away the galleon's keel
We were left to die or brave the sea
Floating about with the wreckage debris.

So I gritted my teeth and began to swim
When a shark stopped to pick me up on a whim
He carried me far, back to the shore
I was back where I started in the north.

When my paws hit the land I made on oath
Swore a vow by my life, my troth
To never set paw in the sea again
And that is a promise I've kept to this day.

But ever since then I've found a way
To set right those Dibbuns who simply won't stay
Just send them forth on The Leaky Sink
And they shape up better than you'd ever think!"

With the end of this story you could hear a pin drop
The Dibbuns were trembling, not to be stopped
The old squirrel's tailed quivered as he laughed
"Now come along, young ones, and take your baths!"