Does anyone remember this website called Project SLAGAR
It got shut down but I love just reading over the Ask Slagar
Ugh it won't let me send the link but it's a really good website
Oh my gosh, that brings back memories! I loved that website, a quick search shows me it's here (http://redlea.net/pslagar/view.php?page=news).
The Ask Slagar section was hilarious.
Darn it, Lady S! I was just about to post that link. :D ::)
It's such a cool website I like the cruel jokes and Coast to Coast
Oh my gosh, that site is hilarious! Thanks for the link!
I love re-reading Project SLAGAR, especially the radio show parts. Too bad it was copied from Mossflower Talk, which was written by Snowfur, an albino ratmaid. (That always cracks me up.) Anyway it is much funnier than her radio show.
The only annoying thing about Project SLAGAR is that the games don't work if you have a Mac, like me. They look really fun :(
The 3rd game is the best
Does your local library not have a windows that you could try them out on :)
I'm running Windows and none of the games would load for me, either. Might have something to do with flash... :/
wow, I've never known that there were so many Redwall websites. :D
Ask Slagar is hilarious! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
I was reading the one where Clecky is filling in for Slagar, and I nearly laughed out loud. The problem was that I was supposed to be doing maths on the internet, so I couldn't laugh or my parents would want to know what I was doing.
::)
Anyway, it is soooooo funny! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
Baby bankvole
LOL!
XDDDD
You know the one where someone mails him pretending to be Selah? :D :D :D :D :D :D That was HILARIOUS!!!!!!
Oh, that one was funny! I LOVE this website!
Quote from: Tiria Wildlough on July 22, 2011, 04:12:12 AM
LOL!
XDDDD
You know the one where someone mails him pretending to be Selah? :D :D :D :D :D :D That was HILARIOUS!!!!!!
That happened a lot actually
Heeheehee. I found Slagar's Email address. Even though he's retired from the website now, I emailed him some questions, and he sent back his usual list of insults. Heeheehee. I ticked him off. XD
I saw the e-mail link in one page of Ask Slagar myself. Probably there on purpose though.
Yeah, I managed to get him to email me back, though. It was awesome.
Thanks for sending me his e-mail address, Nightfire! I'll have to e-mail him to, one of these days...
Quote from: Nightfire on August 10, 2011, 04:23:11 PM
Yeah, I managed to get him to email me back, though. It was awesome.
:o What did he say?!
I read one page of the "Ask Slagar" and I was totally laughing. It was soooo funny! Wish it was still up and running.
KTHANXBAI!
Quote from: Coobreedan on August 10, 2011, 06:43:05 PM
Quote from: Nightfire on August 10, 2011, 04:23:11 PM
Yeah, I managed to get him to email me back, though. It was awesome.
:o What did he say?!
Go onto the thread about "You know you have been reading too much Redwall when..." because I copied and posted my email to him and then his reply.
Just finished The Adventures of Superstripe the Unrealistic.
Funniest. Thing. Ever.
Wow, I can't believe I haven't read this before.
Quote
That's when Superstripe and Edwin walked in.
Superstripe was a towering badgerlord, decked out in badger plate mail with protruding shoulder spikes, wearing a war helmet upon his head, chain mail on his neck, and a great shield of death upon his back. In his hands, which wore studded leather gloves, he carried a super-sharp, double-bladed sword. In his belt he carried an elastic silk sling, a serrated hatchet, a throwing axe, a war mallet, a leviathan death blade, a badger war hammer, a blow dart gun, flint, a smoke bomb, the axe of Brocktree, a flagon of magic ale, and a turban, in case surprise is needed. It seemed that he could easily stand tall over the next largest badger any of the tavern's inhabitants had ever seen, and his incredible physique showed that he could overpower even the most powerful of rogues.
Edwin was a hare.
Absolute genius. I can't stop laughing...
Harhahaha!
And what's interesting is that that inventory is actually an exact replica of one used by some Redwall fan fiction writer, word for word.
Oh my word! That is hilarious!
Winnie the Pooh! lol
Where's Superstripe from? ??? ???
Never mind, I found out. ;D That is funny.
Haha, loving this website!
Quote from: Icefire on August 11, 2011, 04:33:55 AM
Oh my word! That is hilarious!
Winnie the Pooh! lol
I was ROFL when I read that XD!!!!!
What's ROFL, and I emailed Slagar a few days ago. I'll post it here when he answers. ;D
^ Rolling On the Floor Laughing, I think. I can't wait to hear Slagar's reply if there is one!
Yep. That's it.
Nice. I'm still awaiting a reply from Slagar. @Nightfire, how long did it take you to get an answer?
A week. Maybe he's just being stubborn and not replying in the hopes that we'll leave him along. Fat chance o' that, Slagar! Buahahahaha!!!
Heehee. I wouldn't doubt it.
I survived Cruel Joke no.2! Her's the
Congratulations! message:
QuoteI can't believe you actually sat through all of that... well, I guess you didn't have too much of a choice in the matter. So... congratulations. You have proven yourself. Or your left mouse button. Either one, really. They both fit.
No.5 was horrible.
I clicked one of them, I don't know which one. It made me think my computer had a really bad virus, so I panicked and started rapid-clicking the red X button in the upper right corner of the page. I kinda wussed out on that one. I'll be brave and sit through it next time.
I love jokes like that. I especially love the real thing when fake internet security shows you you have multiple viruses throughout your computer. "4 viruses detected" in drive C is common. It normally has more than any other folder.
I survived Joke #2!!! It was AWESOME!!!! I was actually laughing fit to burst throughout the entire thing! I got the same message as Cobreedan.
If you are a Redwall hating flea-bag say ok.
I AM OFFICIALLY A REDWALL HATING FLEA-BAG!
I like the bits where you type stuff in. ;D
Ha, now I click the Cruel Joke #2 for some daily laughs! :D
YEAH! I LOVE THE CRUEL JOKES! The one where it jams up your internet window thing is so funny. It took me ages to actually get it. XD
I love the very last Cruel Joke. It shows a screen. And is says it is loading...and loading...and it just keeps on loading forever...while you wait impatiently for the Cruel Joke to begin...not even realizing that it has already begun...
:D
I knew the loading thing was actually the joke the first time I saw it. It really clever though, it makes your pointer turn into your loading thingy!
I hated the one that locks up your server, though. That actually WAS cruel!!! So far, Slagar hasn't responded to me. I guess he refuses to acknowledge my existence.
Which one is that?
No. 4, I think. :D
No, that's the flashing lights one.
HOPE YOU'RE NOT SUSCEPTIBLE TO SEIZURES!!
HOPE YOU'RE NOT SUSCEPTIBLE TO SEIZURES!
Yeah, that one actually gave me a headache. I'm not susceptible to seizures, but it DID make me dizzy and hurt my eyes.
Me, too. ;D
Me three.
Let's just assume it gives everyone a headache.
Yeah, or this could become:
QuoteSkalrag: Me, too. ;D
Coobreedan: Me three.
Mad Maudie: Me four.
Kirby: Poyo!
Tiria: Me six.
(http://redlea.net/pslagar/stcptheme/rotate.php)
(http://redlea.net/pslagar/rotate/rotate.php)
All of the banners at the top are cool! One has a child's drawing of Slagar, but I couldn't upload that one. ;D
Yeah, I love the Slagar the Cruel: Coast to Coast. So hilarious! Almost better than Ask Slagar! I especially love the Dibbuns episode.
[The camera pans over the audience of deadbeasts before focusing upon the stage, as Gartar delivers a voiceover from offstage.]
GARTAR: live (or shod i say ded lolz) fro m teh DARK FORRST STODIO, its SLAGER TEH CRAUEL COASTOCOASTO COST! wit ur host, salgar da crul, nad tonites topic - eX-DIBBUNS OF REDAWL, nad tonites guests -
[Slagar darts quickly onto the stage.]
SLAGAR: Okay, who's idea was it to let Gartar deliver some kind of generic talkshow introduction?
TREEROSE: His own, I'd imagine. You DID make him the technician and stage manager, remember?
SLAGAR: Yeah, but that's just because he's the only one I could find around here who's adept with computers. And you know how intricately the technical aspect of the show is tied with those computing devices.
CLECKY: Uh, y'know Slags ol' chum, despite Gartar's somewhat phantasmagoric origins, I doubt he really knows more about the processin' machines than you or I.
SLAGAR: Oh, please. Look at the way he talks! We're clearly dealing with a creature whose mental growth has been stunted by extensive internet use. I, of all beasts, should be able to recognize that.
[Pause.]
SLAGAR: You know, because I run an advice column via e-mail. But Gartar can do more than that, so much more that it totally vindicates my otherwise outright ridiculous choice of hiring him. Why, he's the one who inserts full-color stills from our tapings into every transcript of our show that gets put onto the internet, with his "HTTP" programming.
CLECKY: But there AREN'T any images in th' flippin' pts!
GARTAR: i m goin 2 put 1 rite ther 2 prove u rong, nad if u still dont blve me tahn SHUT UPP haha "blink "tag" taht is mie most avdansed websiting trik yet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
SLAGAR: ...um, sure it is. Hey, can we wrap up this little preliminary discussion of ours? Not that it isn't fascinating, and not that it's steadily causing my unquenchable thirst for slaughter to grow even greater every second, but... oh, stow the sarcasm. I've grown sick of your babble already, and this is the one night when we can't be wasting airtime.
VITCH: Huh? Uh, Slagar... [anticipating abusive response] I mean, Mr. Slagar the Cruel, SIR, Master of Life and Death, what was that about airtime? Is the show being shortened for tonight, or something like that?
SLAGAR: Oh, something like that, Vitch. Something like that. Haha. Oh yes, it will be... SOMEthing... LIKE THAT! Bwa-hahahahaha!
VITCH: You didn't quite answer my question, sir.
SLAGAR: Patience, Vitch! The sinister machinations behind this episode's shortening will become apparent to all of you soon enough. But until that fateful moment of painful realization... please welcome our first guest!
[A slim mouse carefully steps onto the stage and towards Slagar, glancing nervously around himself every few steps. He bumps into several pieces of set decor in the process. Slagar speaks as the mouse inches towards his seat beside Slagar's desk.]
SLAGAR: On tonight's show, we'll be hearing from ex-dibbuns of Redwall (watch the table, there), whose care at the Abbey led to their lives going horribly, horribly awry! (Careful, you lummox.) Surely this shall convince all of you in the world of the living that Redwall is a horrible place (That's a camera, not your chair! How could you even - just get over here! Yes, right now!) which must be destroyed, and its remnants cast to the four winds.
[The mouse finally sits down next to Slagar.]
SLAGAR: So, tell us a bit about yourself, mister... what name did you go by again? It's the funniest thing; I just can't seem to recall!
???: Uh, I'd rather not... disclose my name, for, ah... insurance reasons.
SLAGAR: Wow, I've got to hand it to you, that was pretty creative. But seriously, get on with it, mouse. Introduce yourself to all of our viewers at home.
???: H-h-hi, everybeast, m-my name is... [Awkward pause.] T.M.B.?
SLAGAR: Your full name! GET ON WITH IT! REVEAL TO OUR VIEWERS YOUR TRUE MONIKER!
MOUSEBABE: [Wailing] My name is MOUSEBABE! The Mousebabe! Are you happy now?! Oh fates, the shame! The horror! Why am I called The Mousebabe?!
SLAGAR: [To the audience] Why... INDEED?! [Turning back to the Mousebabe] Now, The Mousebabe... can I just call you Mousebabe? I think I will, your name's ridiculous enough as it is. So Mousebabe, describe what life was like for while you were growing up in the Abbey.
MOUSEBABE: It was pretty cool overall. I got into a lot of trouble and was considered cute, which is pretty much the norm. I spent some time hanging out with a kindly old rat named Blaggut...
SLAGAR: I ask you all to note that he could only find solace in the company of vermin! Not to jump to conclusions or anything, but this is clear and irrefutable proof that the savage brutality of vermin life is universally superior to the subdued and pacifistic Abbey lifestyle.
MOUSEBABE: Well, not really. I also used to hang out with a molemaid named Furtill a lot. And I looked up to a lot of the Abbey elders, and those who had gone on journeys, like Rufe Brush...
SLAGAR: Yeah, but see where it led you?
MOUSEBABE: My troubles actually stemmed from my name, from the most part. I mean, as great as my life was when I was a dibbun, I just had trouble getting taken seriously. Abbeybeasts were still overseeing my bathtimes when I was twenty-six years old (or the equivalent in seasons, at least).
AUDIENCE: Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!! [Collectively.]
MOUSEBABE: Yeah, it was that bad. I became bitter, shameful, depressed... and then, the... addiction took me. [Clears throat.] You see, I had been partial to Candied Chestnuts all my life, and I often swiped the delicious glazed nuts from the Abbey kitchen for quick emotional relief. But at some point I just lost control. At one point I was popping the nuts like there was no tomorrow. I consumed two, maybe three jars daily. Eventually, Furtill and some of my other friends organized an intervention, but I just couldn't abide by the thought of somebeast taking my precious nuts away from me, and so I fled! They found me several days later, face-up in a gutter, leaves clinging to the thick coating of glaze that I had collected upon my fur. For me, this was an unpleasant experience.
SLAGAR: Ah, good nuts - er, job, at telling your story, Mousebabe. Even if you seem to have exhausted the word "chestnuts" and its derivatives. If I may add my two nuts - er, cents, to your exposition, I'd like to note that all of your problems seem to be rooted in the degrading, childish name that was given to you by the Abbeybeasts!
MOUSEBABE: Oh, the Abbeybeasts didn't give me this name.
SLAGAR: Come again?
MOUSEBABE: You see, all the dibbuns raised in Redwall start out as orphans. The brothers of the Abbey simply find defenseless children and take them in, without renaming them or anything. So really, the creatures in fault are my parents, not Redwall. Redwall was actually really great for-
SLAGAR: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[The commercial opens with Horty, Fenna, and Springald standing in a darkly lit room, wearing habits of the Redwall order that are in some way specially colored or sewn. They step towards the camera one at a time as they speak.]
FENNA: We... are different. We play by our own rules, and we don't let the man tell us how to dress.
SPRINGALD: We... express our individuality the only way we know how: by shopping at the same store, because we were told to so by a commercial.
HORTY: We... are here to tell you 'bout the trendiest way to go up against the bally norm ever seen, wot? Just shop at the most widespread underground garment shop in th' Dark Forest... Old Abbey!
FENNA: Wait, what?
[Suddenly a bunch of brightly dressed old Abbey mice march into view, singing.]
ABBEYMICE: Old Abbey! Old Abbey! Old Abbey performance habits! Old Abbey! Old Abbey! Old Abbey perforMANCE habits!
FENNA: This is ridiculous! Old Abbey doesn't even try to pass itself off as edgy or counter-cultural! I thought we were advertising for a store like... I don't know, Fox Topic! This has to be the worst commercial satire that
[Cuts away to an "Old Abbey" logo, with the subtitle Be Different - Everyone Else Is Doing It!]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SLAGAR: Welcome back, folks. Uh, I'm Slagar the Cruel. And... this is my show. It's, um... it's called Slagar the Cruel Coast to Coast. [Pauses. Coughs. Sips some tea from a mug on his desk. Pauses Again.] Alright, so what were we doing before I kicked that mouse off the set?
VITCH: Well, you said that you were going to tell us why tonight's episode was shorter than usual after we came back from the break...
SLAGAR: Oh, right, now I remember, this is the ex-dibbun show. Send out the next guest! [The next guest is indeed sent out. It's another mouse, this time seeming a bit less shakey.]
SLAGAR: Alright, so who are you?
[The mouse replies by firing a slingshot pellet right into Slagar's jaw.]
SLAGAR: Agh! You archfool! What the hellgates is your problem?!
DWOPPLE: Just introducing myself! I'm Dwopple! Pleased to meetcha!
SLAGAR: And did growing up at Redwall warp you into some sort of horrible, twisted, pest of a mouse?
DWOPPLE: Nope, I was always like this. I actually spent most of my childhood with a traveling band of performers. In fact -
SLAGAR: What?! This is terrible. You're terrible. Who booked this guy?
ROOP: Stan' on moi tunnel, oi burleev et wuzz oi! Ee'm an 'orrible likkle varmint, but oi used to journey wiv him en 'ee former loif, so oi thought et'd be gurt to invoit 'im onto yon studio! Oi gess ee'm unturprudded et to be a an invoitation to gessthood, hurr hurr!
SLAGAR: "Gurt" for you. Security!
[Threeclaws and Halfchop promptly skewer Dwopple with a glaive and drag him offstage.]
SLAGAR: So, let's move on to our next real guest - Rollo! [A dignified-looking bankvole wearing spectacles and a (non-brand-name) Abbey habit waddles onto the stage and into the chair next to Slagar's desk.]
SLAGAR: Well, thanks for stopping by, Rollo. Say, haven't I met you before?
ROLLO: I believe we met briefly before you and your cronies murdered my mother.
SLAGAR: Oh. ...well, this is kind of awkward. How is your mother these days, anyways?
ROLLO: Well, she's fine now. Albeit still quite dead.
SLAGAR: Ah. Well, enough of this, let's cut straight to the point. Allegedly, your mind was warped by Abbey life as a child and you turned to a life of serial arsony. And what's this? It says on my notecards that you singled out churches in your attacks!
ROLLO: Serial arsony...?! Slagar, I only ORDERED the burning of ONE structure, and it was because evil Jackdaws used it as a hideout. And also because YOU used to use it as a hideout. And also because CLUNY used to use it as a hideout. And also because it wasn't even a real Church! Didn't you ever hear the ballad? It was just a house that some random mice built and painted "THIS AIN'T NINANS" on. The rain washed away everything but "SAINT NINIANS".
SLAGAR: Oh, right. A "house". If I remember correctly, this "house" had a steeple and was lined with pews.
ROLLO: Well... yeah. But even if it is a Church, it's not like there's any religion we could practice in it.
SLAGAR: Touché, Rollo. But you're forgetting one thing... that you're a CRAZY CORRUPTED EX-DIBBUN WHO PROVES THAT REDWALL IS BAD!
[A squirrel in the audience stands up and shouts a response.]
ARVEN: That is completely and patently false! I grew up under the care of Abbey elders - including Rollo, as a matter of fact - and look how I turned out! I was the Abbey Champion, I became the Abbot...
SLAGAR: You're just deluded because your mind has been so warped by a childhood in Redwall Abbey.
ROLLO: The only one with a warped mind here is you, Slagar.
AUDIENCE: Ooooooooohhhhhh!
THREECLAWS: You gonna take that, chief?
SLAGAR: As a matter of fact I am not, Threeclaws! Luckily, I am always prepared for such encounters...
[Slagar pulls out a bottle labeled "Anti-Vole Serum", uncorks it, and splashes its contents into Rollo's face.]
ROLLO: That's the best you can muster? Forget it, I don't know why I came on this stupid show in the first place. Good day!
[Rollo exits.]
SLAGAR: ...and that's the last guest I have lined up. Boy, that didn't work out as I had planned... I blame myself.
THREECLAWS: Aw, it's okay, chief! I guess some of these shows are just bound to not work out.
SLAGAR: I meant that I should have added more baking soda to that serum. It didn't seem to effect that guy at all.
VITCH: Lemme guess, the only reason why this episode was a bit shorter than usual is because you suspected how terrible and fruitless it was going to turn out to be?
SLAGAR: Pretty much. Hey, wait a minute, I could just interview you! You were a dibbun when I killed you, right?
VITCH: Not this again...! I already told you, Slagar, I was just really short!
SLAGAR: Slagar? That's Slagar the Cruel, lord of life and death, Vitch! I believe a flogging is in order!
VITCH: Ugh, I don't have to take this. I quit!
SLAGAR: Surely you jest. Do you know how hard it is for a vermin to find a new eternal designation in the Dark Forest that doesn't involve excruciating pain and torture?
VITCH: On the contrary, I've already got another job lined up. The Ex-Abbot who founded the Old Abbey wants me to help him start a new chain of clothing outlets. We're gonna call it... Abbot Crombie & Vitch!
[The band plays a rimshot.]
SLAGAR: ...get out.
That picture I uploaded, if you refresh it the picture changes! So maybe you can see the one I was on about.
Quote from: Taggerung_of_Redwall on August 11, 2011, 03:05:18 AM
Harhahaha!
And what's interesting is that that inventory is actually an exact replica of one used by some Redwall fan fiction writer, word for word.
http://redlea.net/pslagar/superfinale/epalog (http://redlea.net/pslagar/superfinale/epalog)
You really have to feel for the people who had to put up with him...
But yes, Superstripe is the funniest thing ever.
QuoteDarkflash himself was a terrifying warlord, hardened from many seasons of warfare, looting, and just being terrifying. Upon his back he wore a ragged black cape that trailed almost to his feet. Upon his chest he wore a ragged black shirt that trailed to his waist. Upon his legs he wore ragged black pants that really did trail down to his feet. Upon his feet he wore especially dark black shoes that trailed down to his toes. It was obvious why he was known as Darkflash. His fur was a fairly dark shade of brown. The flash part was anyone's guess.
genius.
Coobreedan
Member
(http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20080519221525/redwall/images/0/07/Quarry2.JPG)
Posts: 331
Posted 8:10PM
14/10/11
Registered 4/8/11
That was epic!
Oh wait...The whole thing was fake! First I thought it was fake, then I was like "Oh! Hahahaha! It's real!" Then I tried looking at some other stuff on the site, but then I realized it was fake! So clever.
"It really gets up my nose when publicists call my books 'Another Lord of the Rings.' I say, 'It's not another Lord of the Rings, it's my bloody book!" -Brian Jacques
SSJ5d00dkiD
Member
(http://redlea.net/pslagar/superfinale/GOKURUELS2.gif)
Posts: 891
Posted 4:03PM, 7/23/01
Registered 6/3/01
Wat do you meen!!! it is real!!!!!!! *Superstripw uses lazer beam on coobredam and kils him*
SUPER SAIYA-JIN 5 d00d kId
Come 2 RP realm if you wana get SLAIN by a pro
ABILITIES: bloodrath, flight, teleportaton, kamehameha wave, hadoken, spirit ball, special beem canon, superbadger form 1-4, other
Oh man...Abbot Crombie and Vitch! XD I couldn't stop laughing. :D :D
Heehee. So funny! ;D :D
First of all, Coobreedan, that thing
is real. I think. I know it's the serves as an epilogue to
Superstripe... Anyone know if it is actually real? Second of all, the funniest thing I have ever read:
Quote
Not so far away, another pair journeyed slowly and cautiously through the expansive wilderness that is Mossflower Woods. One, a hare, worked hard to keep up with his companion, a massive badger, who made his way through the rough terrain briskly and with grim resolve. They had a mission to accomplish, and nothing would stand in the way of their seeing it through.
"Wait up, sah!" the hare cried breathlessly.
"Never!" answered his master. "We can't slow down! Remember, we have a mission to accomplish! And nothing will stand in the way of our seeing it through!"
It is important to note that this duo was not Superstripe the Unrealistic and his trusty hare, Edwin. This badger and hare were completely different creatures. The two parties never met, and to be perfectly frank, this particular group's actions never amounted to much of anything in the broad scope of things.
The two characters just described will not figure into this story ever again.
Daniel it's not real. Just try clicking on the link to the regular forums. You can't click on them. You can't even click on the forum rules. I also never heard of heard of a website called this http://redlea.net/pslagar/superfinale/epalog (http://redlea.net/pslagar/superfinale/epalog). I mean seriously, it has project slagar in the name!
Oh yeah, well noticed! :D
I just love the Ask Slagar.
I looked at it........................BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH,it was hilarias!!!!!!!!!Especially the anoying vole one!
whats slagar's email i wanna annoy him
He's all finished up answering questions, but here's his email if you want:
askslagar@gmail.com
Lol, that site is funny
omg that is really funny site couldnt stop laughing
haha i sent him a message saying: i am a robot i will kill you with lazerz
Well, let us know if he replies to you. :)
QuoteHere is what I wrote to him:
Dear Slagar the Cruel,
> I have a few questions. Please just give me straight answers.
>
> 1. What do you think of Ranguvar Foeseeker? Beacause she's my great-great-great-great aunt.
> 2. Is there a way to enhance a longbow's strength? Because I want to skewer you with an arrow, but you're too far away.
> 3. Am I allowed to shoot you between the eyes with my poison darts? Because I hate you.
> 4. What happened to the fire lizards that lived in Salamandastron? Because no one ever talks about them anymore.
> 5. Hey, mind if I burn down the Dark Forest? That way you'll be forced to leave so I can resurrect you and then kill you again.
> 6. What the heck is 'Slagar' supposed to mean, anyway? Redflash or Mousedeath sounds much cooler.
> 7. Do you mind if I bury your mother underrgroung in Admodeus' cave? Because I hate her.
> 8. How come you're a male fox, but you're a healer? I thought only vixens could be healers.
> 9. Do you think I should get some more weapons? I have a longbow, dirk, and blowpipe, but I think I'll need a sword.
> 10. Do you mind if I kill Matthias? Not that I need your permission, of course.
>
> That mask of yours makes you look like you belong in a circus.
>
> Sincerely,
> Nightfire, Mercenary Squirrelqueen of the Northlands.
And this is what he responded:
Dear Nightmare,
Wow, you Northlanders sure aren't an observant lot, are you? Probably due to your foolishness. Since you're all fools up there, I mean. My stint in the advice column business ended seasons ago when that "Project Slagar" thing was retired. But, what the hellgates, might as well bang out a list of rote numbered insults for old time's sake:
1. I don't think of her. Nobody else does, either. Crimony, you couldn't pick a better ancestor to latch onto?
2. Yeah, I have an idea: point it at somebeast who isn't already dead.
3. I'm guessing your aim is such that I wouldn't have to worry.
4. It's called a "legend", Nightfire. Legends aren't real - there were no such lizards! Just like there never was a Luke.
5. An admirable goal, but I'm pretty sure they fireproofed the place. At least, I think that's why all of these trees seem to be made of aluminum...
6. It's Ragals backwards, of course.
7. Asmodeus is dead as well, you know. And by all means, defile both of their resting places. Get the rest of my enemies while you're at it.
8. I thought only fools wrote in to defunct advice columns! (NOTE: I was right)
9. I think you should get some psychiatric help.
10. You really enjoy threatening the dead, huh? Alright, tell you what: find a way for the dead to come back to life, and I'll give you the first swing at Matthias. Of course, I'll also return from the dead around that time, which means your own life will be dramatically shortened. But then you could just come back again, so... why am I wasting so much brain power on such a patently worthless query? YOU. YOU'RE A FOOL. THE END.
he didnt even insult me and i must not type the exact message he used my real name that is a secret
You could just erase your real name and replace it with your username, but don't edit anything else.
Dear, mepinator1
I can't tell you how sorry i am to hear that.
Struggling to accept my inevitable lazer death
-Slagar (emeritus)
Hahahahaha!!! What in the name of Mossflower did you say to him for him to give you that reply?!?!?!
i am a robot i will kill you with lazers
Heeheehee. :D
The ask Slagar section is hilarious :D
I particularly loved it whenever someone wrote to him pretending to be either a baby bankvole or his mother, Sela. :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
Lol, yeah ;D
The funniest part was when he mentioned it was creepy how his mom kept emailing him from twenty different addresses. He said something like: "It would be weird if this was from many different people pretending to be my mother. Nah, I'll just assume that she has many different addressed. It would be too creepy if people were pretending to be her."
Now THAT is creepy.
yeah i remember that!
I always found it funny how his mask looked in the t.v show...
This is great
I like this website
This is a roit!
LOVE it!!
Why did they take the site down? It's not active anymore.
My guess is that the owner of the site just wanted to discontinue it for these reasons:
1. They got too busy
2. Some things couldn't get fixed
Quote from: DanielofRedwall on October 14, 2011, 05:04:21 PM
Quote from: Taggerung_of_Redwall on August 11, 2011, 03:05:18 AM
Harhahaha!
And what's interesting is that that inventory is actually an exact replica of one used by some Redwall fan fiction writer, word for word.
http://redlea.net/pslagar/superfinale/epalog (http://redlea.net/pslagar/superfinale/epalog)
You really have to feel for the people who had to put up with him...
But yes, Superstripe is the funniest thing ever.
QuoteDarkflash himself was a terrifying warlord, hardened from many seasons of warfare, looting, and just being terrifying. Upon his back he wore a ragged black cape that trailed almost to his feet. Upon his chest he wore a ragged black shirt that trailed to his waist. Upon his legs he wore ragged black pants that really did trail down to his feet. Upon his feet he wore especially dark black shoes that trailed down to his toes. It was obvious why he was known as Darkflash. His fur was a fairly dark shade of brown. The flash part was anyone's guess.
genius.
A little tibit I found.
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WONWILL, later I realised that part was fake (see page 5). But, as ToR said, some of the fanfic (the inventory) was based on real events (apparently).
Yes, I know it was fake, that just made me smile. I quoted your post so you people would know that it was on that site.
I just sent him an e-mail! Wonder if I'll get anything back...
Oh my goodness this sight is awesome!!!!!!!!!! :o
hehehe had to post this!
Question #20
Slager the Cruel,
Did you notice that the baby Bankvole "Rollo" talks more clearly than "Matthew" a "Redwall Warrior"! Also, I am a badger. I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND KILL YOU! IF YOU SEE A BADGER WITH GREY STRIPES, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! YOU BETTER BE EQUIPPED AT ALL TIMES OR YOU WILL BE MASSACRED!
Silverclaw
P.S.-Your column rocks!
Dear Silverclaw,
Normally I'd mock your slightly subpar spelling and resemblance to ol' Rawnblade (KILL EVERYONE!!!), but you recognized that my collumn rocks, so I'll just give you some simple, safe advice: stay in school, don't do drugs, and practice swordplay on your vole friends.
Got a question for me to answer? Too bad. I mean, e-mail me. I don't care if it's coming from a woodlander dibbun, a human teenager, or a vermin cheiftan. Ask me, I'm a lot smarter than you. :P
couldn't stop laughing :D
EDIT: I did the cruel jokes (They are awesome!!!!) Why did # 3 get shut down and is # 4 supposed to not work???
Quote from: Log a Log Grenn on June 12, 2011, 10:39:50 AM
Does anyone remember this website called Project SLAGAR
It got shut down but I love just reading over the Ask Slagar
Ugh it won't let me send the link but it's a really good website
when did that site get started?
Project SLAGAR archive: http://redlea.net/pslagar/view.php?page=aspage8
Erm. When does Cruel Joke #5 end?
It's awesome!!! I'm trying out the games right now!
Quote from: Log a Log Grenn on June 12, 2011, 10:39:50 AM
Does anyone remember this website called Project SLAGAR
It got shut down but I love just reading over the Ask Slagar
Ugh it won't let me send the link but it's a really good website
you guys were right, ask Slagar is hilarious
I was just on this, and I did Cruel Joke number 1. IT SCARED THE HECK OUTA ME!! It said click to install cool program. I knew it was all part of the joke so I did, and it did pop- ups that said to run antivirus programs and stuff like that. I was SO scared! Then it said, "This is a Cruel Joke, you must be extremely Gullible." LOL HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Oh my gosh! I love that site ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Oh yeah, this site is hilarious. I liked the talk show the most.
(Sorry about the double post.)
I think it got shut down.
I don't know, but every time I try to go to it, it says server error.
The most probable thing is that the owner shut it down.
Quote from: Redwaller on November 10, 2013, 01:02:24 PM
The most probable thing is that the owner shut it down.
Does anybody know why the owner shut it down? Debugging problems, prehaps?
Quote from: Tiria Wildlough on March 04, 2012, 03:25:05 AM
He's all finished up answering questions, but here's his email if you want:
askslagar@gmail.com
Do you think he'd reply if I sent him an email? ;D Or is the email address shut down?
The last activity on the website was more than 6 years ago. I doubt he would respond.
Maybe not, but someone else on here once wrote to him a couple years ago... so maybe I'll write him anyway. :D
When someone wrote to him a couple years ago
Quote from Nightfire:
I did. I found his Email address, and even though he is retired from the site now, I still emailed him. He sent back his usuall list of insults. Here is what I wrote to him:
Dear Slagar the Cruel,
> I have a few questions. Please just give me straight answers.
>
> 1. What do you think of Ranguvar Foeseeker? Beacause she's my great-great-great-great aunt.
> 2. Is there a way to enhance a longbow's strength? Because I want to skewer you with an arrow, but you're too far away.
> 3. Am I allowed to shoot you between the eyes with my poison darts? Because I hate you.
> 4. What happened to the fire lizards that lived in Salamandastron? Because no one ever talks about them anymore.
> 5. Hey, mind if I burn down the Dark Forest? That way you'll be forced to leave so I can resurrect you and then kill you again.
> 6. What the heck is 'Slagar' supposed to mean, anyway? Redflash or Mousedeath sounds much cooler.
> 7. Do you mind if I bury your mother underrgroung in Admodeus' cave? Because I hate her.
> 8. How come you're a male fox, but you're a healer? I thought only vixens could be healers.
> 9. Do you think I should get some more weapons? I have a longbow, dirk, and blowpipe, but I think I'll need a sword.
> 10. Do you mind if I kill Matthias? Not that I need your permission, of course.
>
> That mask of yours makes you look like you belong in a circus.
>
> Sincerely,
> Nightfire, Mercenary Squirrelqueen of the Northlands.
And this is what he responded:
Dear Nightmare,
Wow, you Northlanders sure aren't an observant lot, are you? Probably due to your foolishness. Since you're all fools up there, I mean. My stint in the advice column business ended seasons ago when that "Project Slagar" thing was retired. But, what the hellgates, might as well bang out a list of rote numbered insults for old time's sake:
1. I don't think of her. Nobody else does, either. Crimony, you couldn't pick a better ancestor to latch onto?
2. Yeah, I have an idea: point it at somebeast who isn't already dead.
3. I'm guessing your aim is such that I wouldn't have to worry.
4. It's called a "legend", Nightfire. Legends aren't real - there were no such lizards! Just like there never was a Luke.
5. An admirable goal, but I'm pretty sure they fireproofed the place. At least, I think that's why all of these trees seem to be made of aluminum...
6. It's Ragals backwards, of course.
7. Asmodeus is dead as well, you know. And by all means, defile both of their resting places. Get the rest of my enemies while you're at it.
8. I thought only fools wrote in to defunct advice columns! (NOTE: I was right)
9. I think you should get some psychiatric help.
10. You really enjoy threatening the dead, huh? Alright, tell you what: find a way for the dead to come back to life, and I'll give you the first swing at Matthias. Of course, I'll also return from the dead around that time, which means your own life will be dramatically shortened. But then you could just come back again, so... why am I wasting so much brain power on such a patently worthless query? YOU. YOU'RE A FOOL. THE END.
Heeheehee.
An older version of the site (http://www.stcp.vze.com/) is accessible with less content than the broken link. I believe all of the Ask Slagar content is there, but I can't remember what all there was...
And as of yesterday, I archived everything from this one on Wayback yesterday, just to be sure. That of course led me to all the links and a good deal of time surveying a lot of old ROC fan sites. Good times.
Quote from: Taggerung_of_Redwall on February 21, 2014, 08:06:33 PM
An older version of the site (http://www.stcp.vze.com/) is accessible with less content than the broken link. I believe all of the Ask Slagar content is there, but I can't remember what all there was...
Tails the Fox is on that page! :o
From the Sonic stuff?
yes, i am resurrrecting a seven year old thread. it's important.
i cannot stress enough how much i have always loved this project. it's just glorious. it's a silly, light-hearted experiment that just descends (ascends?) into a bizarre, clever metafiction. all these years and i still think of it often. it is a testament to how wonderful the existence of the roc can be (and his horde shouted agreement.)
i am really glad to see it's still fully accessible.
Doesn't seem accessible from my end unfortunately
Odd. Does this link work for you?
http://redlea.net/pslagar/view.php?page=news
Fascinating.
Has anyone done the Easter eggs? So far, I've found the first, second (well...), third, fifth and sixth, can't find the fourth and I've found where the seventh should be but can't find the link. It's more of a 'does it still exist' question that what the answer is.
Edit: Done, sorta. Got all the letters, anyway.