Redwall’s Major Villains Ranked By Their Usefulness in a Bar Fight[Extravaganza]

Started by a crumb, December 03, 2017, 10:39:53 PM

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clunylooney

I decided to make my own ranking. These are just the villains that are in the 13 redwall books I have read.
(sorry that there are no pictures!)

Gruven Zann:
Gruven Zann is the worst possible ally on your side in a bar fight. He will pledge to kill the toughest member of the other team and when that member goes for him, he will run like a coward, or as the Bowbeast would put it, "a gutless worm!". He won't even raise a weapon before pleading to be let out. And when he is cornered he will not even punch out, he will be crying and begging not to be harmed. He is the worst to have on your side in a bar fight.


Slagar the Cruel:
Slagar is a coward. Not only that, but he is only out for himself. If you give him some projectiles, he will go for the other side yes, with varying accuracy. But if the other side has the upper hand he will kill others on his own team to save his skin. He is not the best to have on your side in a bar fight.


Mokkan:
Just like Slagar, Mokkan is solely out for his own skin. When things are going bad, he will bolt away. Another bad thing about Mokkan, is that he killed his own sister, which doesn't bode well for your team. The reason he is higher than Slagar, is that he is at least trained in the art of combat and is a pretty good planner.


Urgan Nagru:
The Foxwolf is a meathead. He will come up with the worst possible ideas for victory. And when things go bad he will, like many other villains run for his life. At least when he loses and is caught he will wound and maybe kill at least one member on the other side.


Damug Warfang:
Damug is big and strong. He also likes a very huge army in between him and the enemy. He will probably be behind the counter, drinking as many beverages as possible. At least if he loses, he will go out fighting with a fury. But another problem with him is that if you are winning he will butt in and stop the fighting so that he can gloat or some other stupid reason.


Vallug Bowbeast and Eefera:
This duo is very effective to say the least. Eefera will come up with an almost foolproof plan and Vallug will take out a staggering amount of people on the other side with his projectiles. And when your side has won, they will kill everyone to make sure that they are the only victors. Great allies in battle but not the best allies afterwards.


Ruggan Bor:
Ruggan Bor seems to be relatively fit and smart and seems to be one of the few villains to have honor. He is also said to be a skilled swordsbeast. But if an enemy on the other team is too powerful then he will probably lay down his weapon. It's smart, not calling him a coward, but not very helpful during a bar fight.


Tsarmina Greeneyes:
There will undoubtedly be bottles thrown. Bottles usually have liquid in them. And if one hits Tsarmina, things won't go your way. But if that does happen, then maybe you will have a crazy, insane and dangerous beast to rip off the head of the person who threw the bottle. Or a crazy, insane and dangerous beast to rip off the head of the person standing right next to her which may be allies of yourself, or you.


Badrang the Tyrant:
While I prefered the TV series Badrang, (and the slagar)we are talking about the book. So we will go with the cowardly version of Badrang. If he is fighting in a winning battle, he will be a valuable asset being a former corsair with knowledge and skill with a weapon. If he is fighting a losing battle, he will run for his life so you probably want some other good fighters on your side for Badrang to be useful.


Swartt Sixclaw:
Swartt is pretty fit, and very intelligent. He would more likely poison someone on the other side than fight him one on one. But he is pretty skilled with a blade and pretty good with projectiles. Basically, Swartt is average. 


Ungatt Trunn:
Ungatt is a wildcat, which gives him a clear advantage. He will also not stop until the job is finished and will go out and kill them himself if he has too (which he does). Yes he will beg to be spared if he meets an opponent with more skill or brawn, but he will only do that after fighting savagely with said opponent. Plus, he will probably have set up a good knife/bottle thrower in the background to make sure he doesn't lose.


Sawney Rath:
Sawney is great with projectiles. He is known for it. Having him on your team means a guaranteed 3 dead members on the other side at the very least.


Riggu Felis:
A wildcat, a great tactician, great with melee and projectile weapons, cruel and ruthless and just straight awesome. Need I say more?


Ublaz Mad Eyes:
First of all, Ublaz is instantly valuable for his sword skills. He was the most feared creature of the seas in his prime because of his sword skills. Second of all, his eyes! He could hypnotize the best member on the other team to your side, or he could hypnotize everyone to his side with no blood but you would have to create a circle of some sort to protect him. Or he could even hypnotize the entire other side to kill themselves. The possibilities are endless with Ublaz.


Cluny the Scourge:
The OG. The one and only Cluny the Scourge. He is smart, strong and a great fighter. He will fight with anything he can get his hands on, baseball bats, knives, bottles, pool sticks, plates, bowls and all manner of food alike. And no matter what, he will win with his weapon. It doesn't matter what weapon he uses, he will defeat. Plus no matter what weapon he uses, he still has his tail, his whip, his scourge. And even if he has no weapon, he will just use his superior strength to defeat everyone he comes across. As long as there are no bells or spirit warriors, Cluny. Will. Win.


Gabool the Wild:
How ironic, my least favorite villain is number one. Gabool is a corsair, an old corsair. He knows how to use weapons, he is in fact, great with them. He is the king of all searats, you don't become king of searats without being seriously skilled with weapons. He even lost his teeth in battle, which means he has been in much more serious battles than a bar fight. But the main reason that Gabool is number one, is that he will undoubtedly rigg the place with traps before there is even talk of a bar fight. And those traps will be deadly. If you could somehow get a redwall main antagonist to help you in a bar fight, choose Gabool.
"ABSOFLIPPINLUTELY" - Me