Overlord's Orders IV

[Trigoma]

OOC: great, now twilight is my fav book x_x xD

i hate twilight

[Matthias720]

"That's enough! I have heard all I need to hear. I have decided who's fault is to blame. Trigoma, you cost me $1.26 million on that chocolate room. You didn't hold up your weight during the mission, so you must be eliminated."

As the overlord spoke, a strange device lowered from the ceiling. Mechanical arms popped out from the walls and grabbed Trigoma. The device on the ceiling hummed and whirred, and red lasers scanned back and forth over Trigoma. A beam shot out striking his shoulder, and he quickly faded from view.

"Do not worry about Trigoma. I have had him digitized. He will serve some time as my screensaver, and then he will be released with all memories of me and my empire wiped."

The overlord looked over his servants, one by one. "Two down, four left. Return to me in 24 hours and I shall give you your next assignment."

- THE NEXT DAY - Same time, same place:
"I have thought it over, and I have decided that you will go to Ireland and fetch me the secret to growing four-leaf clovers. Once I have it, I will convert my eastern lawn into a sea of four-leaf clovers, and it will bring a smile to my face each time I see it. Take your time on this one. By rushing through the mission, you'll only get yourselves into trouble. Now go."

- 15 DAYS LATER - 3:00 PM, at a castle somewhere in the Scottish Highlands:
"Do you know why I like the bagpipes? No? Well I'll tell you. The bagpipes are so loud, they drown out all thoughts of you four and your miserable failure! I send you one a ridiculously easy mission and you come back with what? A clover cookie cutter, 2,500 pounds of grass seed, 64 55-gallon barrels, a solid gold shovel, a platter of spoiled Chinese takeout, a tuba, and a green sports car? How is that even possible? *sigh* That car is already mine, you know. I just...I...how? ... Taggerung...tell me what happened before I lose my mind."

OOC: I know this one is hard, but this story line came to mind, and I couldn't pass it up.

[Trigoma]

OOC: dangit! xD ah well thts how it goes. keep it up peeps. this is getting good o.o

[Taggerung_of_Redwall]

(OOC; Going with a different approach here.)

"Overlord, the failure experienced here today came as a result of the failures of one individual- DanielofRedwall. As we first set out, he delayed us for three days due to leaving behind what he called "essential equipment". Fact: The essential equipment consisted of one item per day: soap, a pack of TNT, and a magazine discussing Roblox and the first ever-published issue concerning Minecraft. While of course any personal business he may delight himself with is his concern and all-well, bringing it in and causing such trouble to you is unacceptable of a servant of yours. You make all decisions and decide as you wish, but he so took upon himself to defy your orders.
"After these delays, his behavior became worse. Fact: Day four involved him tying Musician to a tree and departing camp. Fact: The Daniel sphere is troublesome and seems absolutely senseless. Fact: The sphere of Musician involves arboreal verdage and victimizing.
"After we reached Ireland and got to the factory that contained the secret you so desired, Daniel insisted he use TNT to blast in. We told him of the dangers it would entail in damaging the secret, but he told us to leave him alone. I decided to strip him of his TNT, but he ran off and blew up half the factory. Later, we found the paper containing the secret to be half-burnt.
"Fact: The Daniel sphere has failed you in one way or another, and most likely numerous. Fact: The Daniel aura has generated distrust and sundered your force of servantry to failure once again. Fact: The ToR sphere did much to prevent disaster, but could not attempt to stop Daniel in much of his damage, as it might for one hurt him, but he could too easily fall into enemy hands and cause your lording issues in the future."

[Matthias720]

"I see. But this does not explain why I was brought useless items. Would any of you care to explain why these things are here?"

[Taggerung_of_Redwall]

"Overlord, the clove cookie cutter is a gift from a bagpiper we met, the 2500 pounds of grass seed is something he bought and gifted to a giraffe, who thre it at us, and the 64 55-gallon barrels Daniel bought with water to put out his fire. The other four items you mentioned are products generated outside of my knowledge."

[Redwall Musician]

"While we were stopping at a restaurant to eat, Daniel went off to something. ToR and Plugg ran after him. I was a little angry at Daniel. Then on the airplane he read my journal, again. ToR did too. And they kept teasing me for all the silly, poetical things I said. After that I was tied to a tree, I was really angry at Daniel. I had been stuck there and I was untied by a magical unicorn. Anyways, I stayed behind after ToR and Daniel had ran off. We were planing on going to the factory the next day. I decided while they were off doing who-knows-what, I would take the liberty to check and make sure everything was packed at camp, since we were going to be staying a hotel the next day. As I walked the streets I saw your green sports car in a guarded parking lot. I stood and looked at it for a second. A very pretty shade of green. Anyways, ToR and Daniel came out of nowhere and went through the gate. Daniel jumped into the driver's seat and took of. When he returned, I found out he had stored the car on our private boat to take home. It was late, and we had to get some sleep in order to do our mission the next day. So the car stayed on the boat."

[Taggerung_of_Redwall]

"Daniel is easily affected by the color green. In fact for a time, we were all rather daunted by it. During the first day, green orbs, and a great general leading them of their kind, passed us in the woods. With them was a beaver with poker chips and cards, and a man rather like yourself. It was very strange and eerie. We never saw them again though."

[DanielofRedwall]

OOC: Wow, you certainly gave me a hard position to get out of! Well, I guess I'll try, then.

By the way, Tagg, was that a referance to the ending of the first Overlord game?

Daniel watched on in astonishment, and then muttered darkly under his breath "I knew they would blame it all on me".
He then spoke up.
"M'lord, the accusations made against me are completely unfair. To start with, it was not my fault I delayed them. I started packing at the same time as everyone else, but ToR finished way ahead of everyone else. His eagerness to get going meant we all had to go under packed. I tried stopping him and telling him none of us were ready, but he made us leave. After we managed to convince him to turn back, I got this 'essential equipment'. So, it wasn't just me who left things behind, and that was all ToR's fault. I'll now explain why they are essential:

• Soap: for obvious reasons, hygiene. You can attract unwanted visitors (insects) if you smell, so this makes sure you don't smell too bad. Insects can get distracting sometimes.
• TNT: You wouldn't believe how many sticky situations you can get out of with TNT. I had no intention at the time to use them to blow up the building. Also, it was Musician's idea to bring the TNT.

The magazines were packed at the insistence of Plugg Firetail. Well, actually, at the stealth of Plugg. He snuck them in without my knowing. I only saw them after checking the bag when we left, and he immediately snatched them from me and started to read.
"I tied Musician to the tree because she asked me too. She said she sleeps better tied to a tree, so, at night, she got me to tie her up. ToR got us to leave at the crack of dawn. I went to untie Musician, but he made us leave straight away and wouldn't let me explain. Musician, that is why I left you there, so please don't be angry at me, be angry at ToR instead.
"So, we reached Ireland, and yet again Plugg made me do something. He held me at gun point, would you believe, and forced me to use the TNT to break in. I tried to resist, but it was useless, as I knew he would blast my head off. They must have mistaken me, I didn't say "leave me alone", I said "the leaves have been mown". This I said to Musician, we sometimes speak in code to each other, you see. I said to her "Plugg is making me do this". I bought the barrels to put out the fire, as ToR said. Plugg gave me a slap for this.
"About the journal, this was ToR's fault. He told me he had sneaked out Musician's journal from her bag. I said to give it back, but he hit me, and made me read it with him. He isn't a great reader, you see, so he needed someone to read the tricky words for him. I fake laughed, I didn't find any of it funny, but he laughed out loud.
"As Musican said, we stopped at a restaurant. It was a Chinese restaurant. Musician took some of it with her, so that is why there is the Chinese food. The tuba and the shovel was Plugg's idea of a souvenir. I told him not to buy them as they would slow us down, but he bought them anyway.
"The car, well, that can easily be explained. I saw the green orbs floating around the car. I rushed in and drove off to save it from the orbs. Along the trip, however, the bagpiper who gave us the gifts hijacked the car. I knew he was evil all along! He pushed me out of the car and drove it in to the boat. Again, when I came back, they confused what I said. I didn't say "I drove the car to the boat", I said "The swan does not know how to float". Again, this was in Musician and I's secret code. I said "The bagpiper hijacked the car and drove it to the boat".
"As for my problems with the colour green, well, I had an experience as a child I'd rather forget. It made me paranoid of the colour for a while, but now it just makes me feel strange."

[Redwall Musician]

"I told Daniel to bring the TNT, kinda. I was in Plugg's room trying to find my slippers which had gotten somehow into Plugg's messy room. I sat down a chair and sent Daniel a text, telling him to bring the earphones. You see, we both pitched in to buy a set, so Daniel was keeping them. Anyways, Plugg's annoying dog jumped on my lap before I could finish typing. He made the message read: Bring the tNT. And sent it.
"As for being tied to a tree, well, I didn't think Daniel meant I was serious. Since I was already tied to the tree, I figured I should at least give it a shot. It wasn't comfortable, so I yelled to tell Daniel to untie me. He was snoring though.
"And now I remember Daniel saying 'Plugg is making me do this'. It was hard to hear over all the explosions."

[Taggerung_of_Redwall]

OOC: @Daniel: Yes, it was.

"Overlord, my haste was due. As previous missions have shown, time is of the essence. The delay generated by those who desire to bring much ways heavily down upon all. As you said, a chain is only as great as its weakest link. I decided to pack little, and thus finished what my colleague so labelled as "early". When in fact, packing had been going on hours and hours on everyone else's part. And of course we had to return.
"In regards to Musician's journal- I thought it was a joke book. She is a very good writer, though my colleague as so labelled me as "reading challenged". His lack of seeing genuine humor, even if in fact it is serious and ill-hearted to laugh at, given its true nature, is absurd. Plugg suggested the read to me. He always suggests reading. Especially magazines."

[Matthias720]

The overlord stood over his servants, glaring at each one in turn. After a very long period of silence, he spoke. "You have each failed me. Your mistakes are terrible and disgraceful. However, I will not dispose of all of you, only one shall be removed. Thank your lucky stars that Plugg passed me this small note before we started, willingly taking the blame for this fiasco. He has guts. Unfortunately for him, I hate people with guts. So you three are safe...for now." As he spoke, a pair of aliens suddenly appeared in the room, captured Plugg in a force-field, and disappeared, all in the space of five seconds. "Plugg will be taken to another planet in our solar system for experimentation. I can't tell you which one it is, for security reasons, but I will tell you this. If this experiment works, the 2020 Winter Olympics will be quite a spectacle."

"Now, on to your next mission. Because you failed so spectacularly the last time, I'm going to give you an easy one. This one cannot be botched, except by the most incompetent lackey. I want you three to paint the interior of my book storage vault. I have had the contents moved into my money vault, which has a lot more room in it, after the results of your last few missions. You will be sealed in the vault for the next four hours, while you work. The vault is bomb-proof, teleportation-proof, and even beaver-proof. There is no way anything can interrupt your work. I am also giving you each a specially-made paint sprayer that will speed your paint job along. The paint you are using has no fumes, and dries instantly. I can't see you failing in any way. Now go.

- FOUR HOURS THIRTY MINUTES LATER -
"I am calm right now. I have to be. If I wasn't, they're wouldn't be you three anymore. I gave you a fool-proof mission, and you didn't complete it. I looked in my vault, and I see a half-painted mess that will take a week to fix. Also, how in the world did a 'My Little Pony' mural end up on the south wall, and an aquatic still-life appear on the east wall? How did this happen? Daniel, speak!"

[DanielofRedwall]

"Sir, how all this happened is quite simple. We got our paint and started our work as we were told. We both took a wall each for the first little while, and then we were all to work on the last one at the end. That is how we arranged it. Everything was going well for about and hour, before ToR said that our work was boring and decided to start a contest. He said that we were all to paint a pretty picture and the best one would win. I said we shouldn't, but before I could say you would be angry, ToR and Musician had started. Of course, I tried to stop them, but they just got angry with me and pushed me off. I have a rather large bruise on my stomach from where Musician karate kicked me if you need evidence, oh master. Anyway, I didn't take part and carefully painted my wall. By the time I had done half (I was particularly careful with my wall), the other two announced they had both finished.
I looked over to ToR's wall, which was the My Little Pony mural. I never knew he was such a fan. Musician's was the aquatic still-life painting. Both were pretty terrible, after all, they did them in a rush. Then Musician told me to judge the winner. I refused, which seemed to make her pretty angry. She kicked my paint bucket really hard, and the paint went all over my wall! That explains why my wall was a half-done mess. Of course, I tried to fix it, but forsome reason ToR kept getting in my way and stopping me."

[Taggerung_of_Redwall]

"Overlord, my actions were simple. Time management is crucial, as has been unfortunately neglected so much in the past by your other servants. In regards to the contest Daniel mentioned, it was indeed my idea. Musician refused to paint anymore on grounds of it being boring. Ia greed it was boring, but said we must continue to complete your task. I decided to do a quick contest to get her back to work. My heart was far from it, so naturally my work was not good. I desired greatly to return to the task.
"As my fellow servant has told you, Musician was quite angry in regards to being stopped and not judged. She was very forward in declaring she must be declared the winner by Daniel. I just shook my head and went to go back to painting. Musician would not tolerate that. She kicked me as well, even harder than she earlier did to Daniel. I have lasting proof as well.
"Musician began fighting me around the room, which casued me to get in Daniel's way and not let him fix painting the wall, as Musician had kicked the bucket over."

[Redwall Musician]

"I never said I was tired of painting! I had gotten paint on my hand, so as I was cleaning it off I looked at my nails. I said, 'I'm tired of painting my nails ' not 'I'm tired of painting'. ToR came over and clumsily splattered paint all over my clothes. I said I was going to go change into some better painting clothes, but ToR missed that fact and claimed I was being lazy. Daniel had rushed us into the painting, so I didn't even get a chance to change. So he challenged me to a painting contest. I knew Daniel was trying to stop us, and I didn't kick him for that. He had said, 'ToR and little-miss-lazy Musician better stop this nonsense.' I kicked him because he said that about me. I decided to go ahead and do the contest because ToR kept begging me to and he even dipped my hair in paint for no good reason. It was on! That is why I wanted to win so bad. And I started to fight ToR because he was being a dork and kept teasing and doing stupid stuff for no good reason."