How would you react if an elf walked up to you right now?
Cool costume! ;D
What kind of elf? That would make all the difference!
Hey, Legolas. I want your bow.
What are you doing
I'm not an orc
"Hey, look! It's a pretty elf! Hey, pretty elf, can I use your shampoo?"
Lol, no, if I met an elf, I'd probably say:
"Uh... Yo?"
"Lord Elrond, please write some moon runes on this paper for me!!!!!!!!"
Then I'd treasure it always :D
Quote from: winifred on December 30, 2012, 01:08:19 AM
"Lord Elrond, please write some moon runes on this paper for me!!!!!!!!"
Then I'd treasure it always :D
Lol: "Lord Elrond, could I have your autograph? No, not in regular script, but in moon runes. Please?"
Yo bro can I has zat zere ring plzplzplz
"hey short stuff! is santa paying you good this year, or are you a little short?" haha
G'day mate! (Why rezpond any differently, eh?)
I'd say...
"What's up with your ears?"
"Why do you hate dwarves?"
"Why are some elves really tall and North Pole elves so small?"
"How old are you?"
"Why do all of you have long flowy hair?"
"Where do you live?"
"Do all elves wear tights?"
"Why are your shoes curled?"
"What kind of elf are you?"
"Is Link an elf?"
"Then why does Link wear tights and have pointy ears?"
"Do you like smashing pots too?"
"How many elves are there?"
"How high can you count?"
"Do you really live forever?"
"Then how old do you live?"
"What do you mean this is too many questions?"
"What's your name?"
"That's a weird name!"
"So what that wasn't a question!"
"Can I wear your hat?"
"Do elves live among us?"
"Am I an elf?"
"We'll I'm tall... But I don't have pointy ears, curled shoes, amazing archery/toy making skills, long flowy hair or a weird name."
"Am I a dwarf?"
"So what I don't have a beard! Don't some dwarves shave?"
"Why don't they?"
"Ew even the girls?"
"Are elves and dwarves opposites?"
"Are there hobbits and orcs and wizards?"
"Do you know Santa?"
"Do you know Santa's phone number?"
"Do you have candy?"
"What's your favorite color?"
"Is Elf your favorite movie?"
.... And so on.
If it was a short elf: "Hey! Could you join my D&D party? We need a halfling."
If it was a tall elf: "Please, please, teach me archery, and horse-riding, and woodsmanship, and how to write and speak elvish!" (elfish? elven? elfen?) ???
Quote from: KitrallStreamrippler on February 14, 2013, 04:41:10 AM
If it was a tall elf: "Please, please, teach me archery, and horse-riding, and woodsmanship, and how to write and speak elvish!" (elfish? elven? elfen?) ???
LOL
I believ it's elven, but ask an elf.
Well, when I find one, I will. ;D
according to J.R.R. Tolkien, its elvish
Here's what I do:
Me: Wow!
Elf: What?
Me: You have ear cancer! I've never seen ears sooo large!
Elf: No, its a family thing.
Me: Having ear cancer?
Elf: Yes! Don't tell anybody, but the only reason our ears are sooo big is because we have ear cancer.
Me: Wow! I never knew that!
Elf: I know. Mr. Tolken was afraid that If he told the truth about use that his books wouldn't sell.
Me: Any other secrets I should know about the middle earth that Mr. Tolken didn't write about?
Elf: As a matter of fact, there are! Gandolf is really a retired hoolah dancer from Hawaii, The dwarfs are really just soft gnomes, the reason that hobbits like to stay at home is because they all have athlete's foot....
(two hours later)
Me: Wow! My view of the middle earth will never be the same again! So are you shure that elvish origonated from two-year-old scribbles?
Elf: Yes, I'm shure!
Me: And that the "rocks" that they use for catapolts are really 250 year-old friutcakes?
Elf: Yep! Thats the truth!
Me: Wow. You know, meybey I should rewright the Lord of the Rings and the other works again...
(Expect to see a book called " Lord of the Rings: How it really happened, by Ungatt Trunn" in a fiew months...
lol
Hello shorty.
Do you have a bottle of syrup up your sleeve?
Quote from: Jetthebinturong on February 27, 2013, 07:11:39 PM
according to J.R.R. Tolkien, its elvish
Ah, yes. Thank you.
What I would say:
"Hey, I'm looking for an elf to join me in an adventure. Needs to be tall, blonde, a good archer, and have experience with hobbits. Wait, nevermind. Do you know where I can find Legolas?"
"Well, this is quite unexpected!"
dude,what the hamster are you doing in MY room at 2 in the morning?!
Hi.
I would not be at all surprised. I am an elf. So I'm gonna answer some of your questiones.
"What's up with your ears?"
I'm an elf. They're pointy.
"Why do you hate dwarves?"
Because their incessent hole-digging is annoying. Day in, day out, "diggy diggy hole, I want diamonds gold blah blah blah I'm super greedy I hate elves. "
"Why are some elves really tall and North Pole elves so small?"
All elves are really tall and slender. And no, we're not Slendermen. North pole elves aren't elves, they're actually gnomes. Think about it, Gnomes have pointy hats, and pointy ears, and they're short.
"How old are you?"
119. In your years, 12.
"Why do all of you have long flowy hair?"
Long, flowy hair is more refined than a dwarf's scraggly beard or a human's tiny tufts of hair.
"Where do you live?"
In my house.
"Do all elves wear tights?"
No. We most certainly do not. As you can see, I'm wearing pants. (Trousers, to you british people ;))
"Why are your shoes curled?"
They're not. I'm wearing plain leather traveling boots.
"What kind of elf are you?"
As I've explained, the only kind. The kind that lives in forests with bows and stuff, as depicted in LOTR. You'd be surprised how accurate a delusional writer was about things unseen by humans.
"Is Link an elf?"
No. He's a half-elf. Hence him being a dork.
"Then why does Link wear tights and have pointy ears?"
He wears tights because he's a dork, and he has pointy ears because he's a half-elf.
"Do you like smashing pots too?"
No! Can you not ask stupid questions?
"How many elves are there?"
A lot.
"How high can you count?"
Higher than you.
"Do you really live forever?"
No.
"Then how old do you live?"
We have an average lifespan of 800 years. In your years, ninety. Ugh. Stoppit, too many questions.
"What do you mean this is too many questions?"
I mean you must be insane.
"What's your name?"
Verdus Greensword
"That's a weird name!"
So is yours. That wasn't a question.
"So what that wasn't a question!"
So, you are not making any sense.
"Can I wear your hat?"
No.
"Do elves live among us?"
Not really. A few, though.
"Am I an elf?"
No.
"We'll I'm tall... But I don't have pointy ears, curled shoes, amazing archery/toy making skills, long flowy hair or a weird name."
You're not an elf, dude. Give it up.
"Am I a dwarf?"
Ugh, I hope not. But that would explain the insanity.
"So what I don't have a beard! Don't some dwarves shave?"
No.
"Why don't they?"
Because they're idiots.
"Ew even the girls?"
The girls don't grow beards. Did you seriously not know that?
"Are elves and dwarves opposites?"
Pretty much.
"Are there hobbits and orcs and wizards?"
Hobbits: No. Tolkien had the wrong name for them, they're called halflings. Orcs and wizards, yes.
"Do you know Santa?"
No.
"Do you know Santa's phone number?"
No.
"Do you have candy?"
No. As I said before, stop asking stupid questions.
"What's your favorite color?"
Green. Duh.
"Is Elf your favorite movie?"
No.
Quote from: rusvulthesaber on July 21, 2013, 01:22:46 PM
I would not be at all surprised. I am an elf. So I'm gonna answer some of your questions.
Aren't you a Steampunk fox?
He's a steampunk elf fox, what else would he be?
No, I think he's a shapeshifter. Some of the time he's a steampunk elf, and the other time he's a steampunk fox.
Quote from: Rainshadow on July 21, 2013, 03:48:04 PM
No, I think he's a shapeshifter. Some of the time he's a steampunk elf, and the other time he's a steampunk fox.
Exactly! I really need to resolve my multi-personality... It's grown so much that I actually change physical forms! What's it called... Skitzophrenia or summat?
Hi do ya like ginger beer ;D
I would ask him/her to stay and we would become best friends and I would runaway to middle earth and live in Murkwood forest with him/her and go on countless adventures together. then he/she would teach me archery till I was as good as any elf.
Christmas Elf: Hi tiny!
Normal Elf: Cool bow!
To Legolas "Teach me how to aim with my bows"
...
Legolas? Is that you...
SANTA
NEVAH TRUST AN ELF!
*plays 'Their Taking the Hobbits to Isengard*
Legolas sucks and Yondu's the one!!!
Is that a HISHE reference I see?!?
Yes no one really used those lines so it is.
Ill say to a he elf you are a pretty boy
*Zetz ze Elf'z 'air on fire vhoilzt laughin' gleefully*
"At least you're not a friar!"
Vot a good idea, Ashleg! *Ztartz preparin' a cookin' fire fer ze Elf, continuing tae laugh gleefully*
LITERALLY THE WORST.
If a Tolkien elf walked up to me, I'd be like, "Hey, awesome cosplay!" If he tried to prove his identity to me by some display of "magic", I'd think it was some kind of demonic trickery before I'd believe Middle-earth was real. But if he could actually prove that he was really from Middle-earth, then I'd hope he has low standards, 'cause I'mma marrying him and spending the rest of my days in Arda. XD
That use of "I'mma" is like nails on a chalkboard.
I'd probably flip out and try to figure out where he came from so I could send him back.
I would find the portal from which he came and enter it.
I would ask him how he got past the security sensors in my house.
*Ze fire'z avmozt ready; prepare ze Elf!
If it was a Middle-Earth elf, I'd start crying like a baby yelling "YES! LEGOLAS IS REAL. WHERE'S THE DWARF?!?!?!"
"KILL THE GELFLING!"
Avroight, ze fire iz ready- Get ze Elf!
It's Veteran's Day.
"Are you done making my Christmas present?"
(Ya'll are assuming it's a Tolkien elf.)
"LISTEN TO THIS SICK BOP!' *gives headphones to elf*
i could have sworn that was coffee i was drinking this morning
*Pickz up ze Elf und preparez tae put 'im in ze fire, continuin' tae laugh gleefully*
"Hey."
*Putz ze Elf in ze cookin' fire und beginz cookin' 'im*
Quote from: HeadInAnotherGalaxy on November 15, 2017, 02:10:11 AM
*Putz ze Elf in ze cookin' fire und beginz cookin' 'im*
No, but what did you
say to him?
"Stay away, I'm ill."
Hi, Ill, I'm Dad!
Yo mama.
Yo Pama.
Yo pomegranate.
Pare design
I'd probably begin the conversation the same as I would with anyone else:
"Hello. What's your name?"
"That's a cool name. Have you ever read Ranger's Apprentice?"
I'd then go on to describe the basic storyline of Ranger's Apprentice and offer to lend the elf the first book. I might also suggest reading Redwall and some other interesting books. After a while of book discussion, I'd ask if he/she could teach me Elvish and any other languages he/she knows.
An elf? Either kill it, or wait for the illusion to wear off.
I likes elveses. Elveses makes shiny.
First off I'd start the conversation with something cordial, like, " HOW ON EARTH DID YOU GET IN MY ROOM!?!?!?!?"
(How would I tell them apart from tall people?)
Pointy ears.
Quote from: Verdauga on October 07, 2019, 06:22:45 PM
First off I'd start the conversation with something cordial, like, " HOW ON EARTH DID YOU GET IN MY ROOM!?!?!?!?"
(How would I tell them apart from tall people?)
1#
Quote from: shisteer of nothing much on October 08, 2019, 10:23:24 AM
Pointy ears.
2# Probably carrying a bow.
3# Long blond hair that makes all girls jealous. ;)
The hair doesn't necessarily need to be blond. There are a few dark haired ellyn. (Besides, not all girls would be jealous. Hair like that would take so much effort to keep tidy and it would be so hot!)
Short hair forever!
Irl, I have long hair.
Quote from: One-Eye the wildcat on October 10, 2019, 02:07:55 AM
Irl, I have long hair.
:o
I'd probably die of a heat stroke if I had long hair...
Anyway, if I met an elf, I'd probably ask where he came from and if it was possible for him to take me back with him. (Well, at least if he came from Middle Earth. The cold, dark, miserable North Pole would be another thing...) :P
I have long, dark hair. It's a curse.
If you want to go to Middle Earth, join the school road trip. We're going to visit Hobbiton and the other Lord of the Rings places.
I wonder if elves consider to be discriminating when people talk about their long hair or their height...
I think elves are probably more sensible than that.
I sure hope they are.
They are.
And how, I ask, do you know?
Middle Earth=New Zealand.
If I remember correctly, the Middle-earth map is far larger than New Zealand.
Furthermore, we are on outer-earth, not middle-earth.
*pats Verdauga on the head* Poor, ignorant child.
Yep.
*Pats Shisteer on the head.* ;D
You're learning so fast. ;D
Um... thanks?
"You know, the funny thing is that I'm reading a topic called 'what would you say if an elf walked up to you right now?' And you, an elf, just walked up to me!"
I'm pretty sure I'm not an elf.
The topic name is 'what would you say if an elf walked up to you right now?' in case you hadn't noticed.
Narator: And now it's time for Silly Songs with Elves, the part of the show where Ear-A-Corn comes out and sings, a silly song for elves.
Larry: I asked my baby, my baby elf. A couple questions about myself. If I was handsome, if I was nice. I was lookin' for her advice. She looked at me and shook her head, and this is what she said:
Elf: (Subtitles: Do I know you? What did you say? Green one go away! Be silent! Green one! Green one go away! Go kiss a Spork! Stop that! Help!)
Larry: She yelled so loud, she hurt my ears. My eyes all welled up full of tears. But I don't mind none, 'cause she's my elf. My elfity, babity, babity, babity, babity, babity, babity elf. When I go walkin' all by myself, I'm busy thinkin' about my elf. I keep her picture upon my shelf. I'm always dreamin' about my elf. I won't forget the way that she says those words to me.
Elf: (Subtitles: When do you leave? Much wind pours from your mouth! Do you feel well? Are you finished? Be silent! I leave now to do laundry.)
Larry: Don't know exactly what she said, just know it kinda hurts my head. I'll take an Asprin, 'cause she's my elf. My elfity, babity, boopity, babity, babity...
Hold on a minute!
Larry: Uh? What?
Jerry: I knew it, I knew it!
Larry: What? *has ears pulled off*
Jerry: You should be ashamed of yourself! You're no elf, you're an elvish impersonator! You sicken me, deceitful one! *takes guitar*
Larry: Oh right, like you're a real elf! Give the gourd a bow and arrow and he's a REAL elf!
Narrator: This has been silly songs with elves...
Jerry: Behold, Leg-o-lamb! Haveath thee! My bow shall sing of thou pampadore!
Larry: Don't you point that thing at me. *gets shot* Help!
If an elf walked up to me right now, I'd stare at them nervously, and then get up and leave.
Why?
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
*blinks*
Quote from: shisteer of nothing much on October 15, 2019, 04:25:47 AM
Why?
'cause I'm fairly introverted. I don't talk much awound stwangers
me neither..
Oh, okay.
"Ach, G'day Elf! 'ov iz it bein' betvixt 10 und 12?"
Let'z zee vho getz ze Deutsch reference...
I don't get the reference.
Well, judging from his use of the word 'Deutsch' , it could be the German word for 'eleven'.
And then again maybe it isn't.
Okay, that sounds good to me.