I went up to a Caribbean chef and asked him: "What Jamaican?"
Was hiking through a really rocky area one time when one of my friends point out a really big one. "Hey, guys, look. That one's boulder than the rest."
Peter Pan was so enthralled when he first flew that he swore that he would Neverland.
THIS IS MY THREAD!!
Spoiler
I wondered why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
I tried to catch some fog. I mist.
I had a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.
Did you hear about the guy who lost his left side? He's all right now.
It said I had type-A blood, but it was a typo.
I didn't like my beard at first, but then it grew on me.
I don't trust stairs because they're always up to something.
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
Plateaus are the highest form of flattery.
I didn't know where the sun went at night. Then it dawned on me.
I'd tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn't get a reaction.
Einstein made a theory about space, and it was about time, too.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.
I didn't know where the boomerang went, but then it came back to me.
Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.
The cross-eyed teacher had a hard time controlling her pupils.
Did you hear about the crime that happened on an elevator? It was wrong on so many levels.
I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
I would make a joke about sodium, but Na..
My math teacher called me average. How mean!
What's a will? (It's a dead giveaway)
Haha! Those are all really funny! ;D
Quote from: Banya on February 26, 2016, 04:53:58 PM
"Puns are little plays on words that a certain breed of person loves to spring on you and then look at you in a certain self-satisfied way to indicate that he thinks that you must think that he is by far the cleverest person on Earth now that Benjamin Franklin is dead, when in fact what you are thinking is that if this person ever ends up in a lifeboat, the other passengers will hurl him overboard by the end of the first day even if they have plenty of food and water." – Dave Barry
Well, you didn't need to be so punishing about it.
Haha!
I'm glad it's March. Easter puns are eggcellent.
Quote from: Skyblade on March 02, 2016, 03:36:05 AM
I'm glad it's March. Easter puns are eggcellent.
Hoppy Easter to you too! I'm sorry to report that my eggs are dyeing, but at least by bunny's reading s lot of books, so he's a real egghead! All my other ones are probably going to be tired by April, they just finished Marching down the street. I also have to keep all of the cute little animals away from knives, otherwise they'd get an early hare cut. Y'know, I just saw my bunny talking to a carrot! He said, "It's been nice gnawing you!" Heh heh, bunnies are funny.
(https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/dc/ef/fa/dceffa8b4ce6d534532d3fb1e106d168.jpg)
(https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/66/88/30/6688308c50de5e937baa3f50019a3237.jpg)
When trying to figure out if an angry bee will hurt you, the truth stings.
Quote from: Sagetip on March 02, 2016, 04:02:04 PM
Quote from: Skyblade on March 02, 2016, 03:36:05 AM
I'm glad it's March. Easter puns are eggcellent.
Hoppy Easter to you too! I'm sorry to report that my eggs are dyeing, but at least by bunny's reading s lot of books, so he's a real egghead! All my other ones are probably going to be tired by April, they just finished Marching down the street. I also have to keep all of the cute little animals away from knives, otherwise they'd get an early hare cut. Y'know, I just saw my bunny talking to a carrot! He said, "It's been nice gnawing you!" Heh heh, bunnies are funny.
Good ones, Sage. You are an eggspert on Easter puns.
A water molecule went into a bar and saw two pretty hydrogen ladies. He went up to them and said "The name's Bond; Covalent Bond."
(It's funny because, you know, chemistry.)
Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.
So, I think this would belong here.
Today in science, we were studying some new constellations. One of them was Hydra.... heheheh. I started by asking if its alpha star was Red Skull, then raised my hand and said "I just Marvel at how similar Hydra is to Eridanus." They told me to stop, so I was like, "I'm sorry, I'll try to Shield you guys from my terrible puns in the future." ;D ;D
Heh.
Quote from: Eulaliaaa! on March 04, 2016, 04:08:04 AM
So, I think this would belong here.
Today in science, we were studying some new constellations. One of them was Hydra.... heheheh. I started by asking if its alpha star was Red Skull, then raised my hand and said "I just Marvel at how similar Hydra is to Eridanus." They told me to stop, so I was like, "I'm sorry, I'll try to Shield you guys from my terrible puns in the future." ;D ;D
You.... Did not just do that.
Spoiler
(http://i.imgur.com/9xwGP85.jpg)
(https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2013-10/enhanced/webdr05/30/23/enhanced-buzz-15421-1383189147-3.jpg)
O. M. G. !!!!!! I LOVE IT SKY!!!!!
The bad thing about trees is that they bring about a lot of shady characters. ;D
Quote from: Tam and Martin on March 11, 2016, 01:22:22 AM
O. M. G. !!!!!! I LOVE IT SKY!!!!!
Thanks, just cue me in if you want a repeat. I don't plan to give these music puns a rest anytime soon ;)
:o :o :o
That is awesome! ;)
;D
On another topic, why have people been making such a big deal of Pi Day? I mean, that's rather irrational.
Quote from: Skyblade on March 10, 2016, 11:36:24 PM
(https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2013-10/enhanced/webdr05/30/23/enhanced-buzz-15421-1383189147-3.jpg)
WHERES THE ALTO CLEF IN ALL THIS
BTW REVIVE
Oh, give me a break.
Don't get it.
Just let it rest Sage. Quarter rest, though half is preferable.
Quote from: Tam and Martin on May 18, 2016, 05:39:22 AM
Just let it rest Sage. Quarter rest, though half is preferable.
no!
(https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcT6Y-GDhRjT4uV5o-4hOnuyb_DkI3_RxeKftiXIgRF8FM_PVtL3)
HEH.
Quote from: Aimless Gallivanter on May 16, 2016, 04:11:23 AM
Quote from: Cornflower MM on May 13, 2016, 10:36:43 PM
If you could choose, would you be a lefty, righty, or ambidextrous? Why? Ambidextrous, because it seems like a very handy skill to have
HHEEHH.
Quote from: Lord Ashenwyte on March 10, 2016, 12:16:29 PM
Spoiler
(http://i.imgur.com/9xwGP85.jpg)
You little genius
Do you know why you shouldn't play Pokemon in the shower?
Cause someone might Pikachu ;D
My status says it all
Yup. ;D
(http://68.media.tumblr.com/18901a31ba86031ea51fd9b2e01fd1a3/tumblr_nfs724WAL81t24x8ro1_1280.gif)
Here you are.
What's the difference between a German bakery and an American bakery?
Dare I ask?
... I don't know, what is it?
This just feels like the set-up for a holocaust joke.
A German bakery has güt stuff.
Two fish were in a tank. One looked at the other and said, "how do you drive this thing?"
What did the buffalo say when his son was leaving for college? "Bison!"
As some of you may know, I'm playing Friar Laurence in Romeo and Juliet. Last night at rehearsal, I was going over one of my monologues with the director and we started talking about my Friarness. I started making jokes about being the fryer. So one day during tech week, I'm thinking about bringing some kind of fried food and being the official fryer.
YES.
DO IT.
^
FRIARS?!
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber? Ask them to pronounce "unionized."
I don't get it.
The plumber will pronounce "unionized" as union-ized, as in a labor union. The chemist will pronounce it un-ionized, as in ions in chemical reactions.
Knowledge.
I'm the plumber.
I guess I'm a plumber, too. That's okay; they don't make bad money. ;D
Quote from: Russa Nodrey on March 02, 2016, 05:45:14 PM
(https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/66/88/30/6688308c50de5e937baa3f50019a3237.jpg)
I don't get it. I looked, and I looked again. Somebody enlighten me, please? ^-^
He's a pair of overalls.
Oh, that's what it is. I thought it was like a weird plastic bag, or something.
^ Me too, haha. :D
Quote from: Wylder Treejumper on October 24, 2017, 10:59:57 PM
Oh, that's what it is. I thought it was like a weird plastic bag, or something.
For all your intelligence, can you not see what your eyes are looking at? ;D
All my intelligence tells me that thing looks nothing like overalls.
...
Artists you ain't.
I think a good artist would be able to portray overalls in a way that most people would be able to know what they are.
Artists see things that aren't there.
Quote from: The Skarzs on October 25, 2017, 08:05:46 PM
Artists see things that aren't there.
I see Dr.Seuss riding a black flamingo every time I touch a paintbrush.
You should probably go see a doctor about that. . .
Whenever I see a doctor I impale myself with a fork.
Whiteboards are remarkable.
...
8D
My belt broke, so I had to make a new one out of cardboard. What a waist of paper!
Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
My son asked me what a plateau was. I told him it was a high form of flattery.
Corduroy pillows: they're making headlines.
Zome o' ze Piano'z ztringz broke again today. Ah vill 'ave tae make a zeveral notez on it na'.
I convinced the gas station to work out.
It pumps iron instead of fuel now.
How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a monster?
Terrier-fied!
Y'all are punishable.
Nice
Why didn't the poetry students like their teacher's grading methods?
Because he was too Thoreau.
A man stops at a small monastery for a meal. The monks treat him to a lovely plate of fish and chips. The man loves the meal so much, he insists on thanking the cook in person. When the cook who prepared his meal comes out of the kitchens, the man thanks him profusely for the delicious food. He asks the cook, "Are you the fish friar?" to which the cook replied, "No, I'm the chip monk."
Hahaha!
Lol!