News:

Cheers to an Auspicious Autumn, Ev'rybeast! Enjoy a hot cider and the cool breezes, as the year dwindles to its end. . .

Main Menu

Punny jokes.

Started by The Skarzs, March 02, 2016, 12:00:26 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

The Skarzs

I went up to a Caribbean chef and asked him: "What Jamaican?"

Was hiking through a really rocky area one time when one of my friends point out a really big one. "Hey, guys, look. That one's boulder than the rest."

Peter Pan was so enthralled when he first flew that he swore that he would Neverland.
Cave of Skarzs

Cave potato.

Skyblade

THIS IS MY THREAD!!

Spoiler
I wondered why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

I tried to catch some fog. I mist.

I had a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.

Did you hear about the guy who lost his left side? He's all right now.

It said I had type-A blood, but it was a typo.

I didn't like my beard at first, but then it grew on me.

I don't trust stairs because they're always up to something.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

Plateaus are the highest form of flattery.

I didn't know where the sun went at night. Then it dawned on me.

I'd tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn't get a reaction.

Einstein made a theory about space, and it was about time, too.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.

I didn't know where the boomerang went, but then it came back to me.

Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.

The cross-eyed teacher had a hard time controlling her pupils.

Did you hear about the crime that happened on an elevator? It was wrong on so many levels.

I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.

I would make a joke about sodium, but Na..

My math teacher called me average. How mean!

What's a will? (It's a dead giveaway)
[close]

Thanks, MatthiasMan, for the avatar!

Lady Amber

Haha! Those are all really funny! ;D

Banya

Quote from: Banya on February 26, 2016, 04:53:58 PM
"Puns are little plays on words that a certain breed of person loves to spring on you and then look at you in a certain self-satisfied way to indicate that he thinks that you must think that he is by far the cleverest person on Earth now that Benjamin Franklin is dead, when in fact what you are thinking is that if this person ever ends up in a lifeboat, the other passengers will hurl him overboard by the end of the first day even if they have plenty of food and water." – Dave Barry
   

The Skarzs

Well, you didn't need to be so punishing about it.
Cave of Skarzs

Cave potato.

Russa Nodrey

Freddy

Skyblade

I'm glad it's March. Easter puns are eggcellent.

Thanks, MatthiasMan, for the avatar!

Hickory

Quote from: Skyblade on March 02, 2016, 03:36:05 AM
I'm glad it's March. Easter puns are eggcellent.
Hoppy Easter to you too! I'm sorry to report that my eggs are dyeing, but at least by bunny's reading s lot of books, so he's a real egghead! All my other ones are probably going to be tired by April, they just finished Marching down the street. I also have to keep all of the cute little animals away from knives, otherwise they'd get an early hare cut. Y'know, I just saw my bunny talking to a carrot! He said, "It's been nice gnawing you!" Heh heh, bunnies are funny.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

Russa Nodrey

Freddy

The Skarzs

When trying to figure out if an angry bee will hurt you, the truth stings.
Cave of Skarzs

Cave potato.

Skyblade

Quote from: Sagetip on March 02, 2016, 04:02:04 PM
Quote from: Skyblade on March 02, 2016, 03:36:05 AM
I'm glad it's March. Easter puns are eggcellent.
Hoppy Easter to you too! I'm sorry to report that my eggs are dyeing, but at least by bunny's reading s lot of books, so he's a real egghead! All my other ones are probably going to be tired by April, they just finished Marching down the street. I also have to keep all of the cute little animals away from knives, otherwise they'd get an early hare cut. Y'know, I just saw my bunny talking to a carrot! He said, "It's been nice gnawing you!" Heh heh, bunnies are funny.

Good ones, Sage. You are an eggspert on Easter puns.

Thanks, MatthiasMan, for the avatar!

The Skarzs

A water molecule went into a bar and saw two pretty hydrogen ladies. He went up to them and said "The name's Bond; Covalent Bond."





(It's funny because, you know, chemistry.)
Cave of Skarzs

Cave potato.

Delthion

Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.
Dreams, dreams are untapped and writhing. How much more real are dreams than that paltry existence which we now call reality? How shall we ascend to that which humanity is destined? By mastering the dreamworld of course. That is how, my pupils, that is how.

Eulaliaaa!

So, I think this would belong here.

Today in science, we were studying some new constellations. One of them was Hydra.... heheheh. I started by asking if its alpha star was Red Skull, then raised my hand and said "I just Marvel at how similar Hydra is to Eridanus." They told me to stop, so I was like, "I'm sorry, I'll try to Shield you guys from my terrible puns in the future."  ;D ;D
Just pretend there is something interesting and unique written here... I have nothing to say.

The Skarzs

Cave of Skarzs

Cave potato.