Poll
Question:
What IS this place?
Option 1: A true treasure trove.
Option 2: The ocean.
Option 3: I like running.
Join me, shall you?!????
Groddil is my deputy!
We have hot cocoa, jigsaw puzzles, and a whale named Rob, and we're gonna take over Loamhedge!!
Also, I'm a cannibal pine marten...Fear me.
((
Spoiler
[Today at 02:11:32 am] * Ashleg cries
[Today at 02:11:35 am] * Groddil eats a Ghost-Ashleg-Cookie
[Today at 02:11:45 am] Ashleg: Pine Marten doesn't taste good anyway!
[Today at 02:11:55 am] Groddil: tastes like a mixture between ectoplasm and nothing
[Today at 02:12:14 am] * Ashleg sobs
[Today at 02:12:15 am] Groddil: . . .
[Today at 02:12:15 am] Mhera: Really? When I first joined I PM'd Soren first thing, because I couldn't find the post button for forever :P
[Today at 02:12:17 am] Groddil: Ashleg...
[Today at 02:12:26 am] Groddil: What pine marten tastes like...
[Today at 02:12:26 am] Groddil: how do you know...
[Today at 02:12:35 am] Groddil: Oh dear..
[Today at 02:12:35 am] Russa Nodrey: *Flies around on a magic carpet*
[Today at 02:12:42 am] * Groddil shoots down MAGIC CARPET
[Today at 02:12:42 am] Ashleg: I... I might've...
[Today at 02:12:45 am] Lady Amber: ...
[Today at 02:12:54 am] James Gryphon: And then all you should have to do is type in a verification code.
[Today at 02:12:59 am] * Groddil looks at Ashleg, horrified
[Today at 02:13:00 am] James Gryphon: It shouldn't lock you out completely.
[Today at 02:13:12 am] Russa Nodrey: *Groddil misses*
[Today at 02:13:24 am] Ashleg: There was a...a reason I was the only pine marten for a while...
[Today at 02:13:25 am] Groddil: . . .
[Today at 02:13:32 am] * Perifæn tries to jump onto flying carpet.*
[Today at 02:13:35 am] * Groddil locks Ashleg in a cage
[Today at 02:13:47 am] * Groddil bludgeons Ashleg with a cucumber
[Today at 02:13:48 am] Ashleg: NOOOO!!!1
[Today at 02:13:50 am] Perifæn: Isn't he dead?
[Today at 02:13:54 am] * Groddil draws sunflowers on Ashleg
[Today at 02:13:56 am] * Lady Amber runs after the flying carpet.
[Today at 02:14:03 am] * Lady Amber jumps on.
[Today at 02:14:07 am] * Groddil feeds Ashleg's corpse to his geraniums
[Today at 02:14:14 am] Ashleg: I'm alive again--AAAARGH! NOT SUNFLOWERS!!
[Today at 02:14:14 am] * Lady Amber pushes Russa off.
[Today at 02:14:18 am] James Gryphon: How violent.
[Today at 02:14:20 am] Groddil: Ashleg makes amazing fertilizer
[Today at 02:14:32 am] James Gryphon: Well, I'm off. Don't wreck the place while I'm gone.
[Today at 02:14:36 am] * Lady Amber rides off into the sunset.
[Today at 02:14:42 am] * Lady Amber is happy.
[Today at 02:14:45 am] Groddil: behold, the giant geraniums
[Today at 02:14:55 am] Ashleg: I WILL EAT ALL THE PINE MARTENS!!
[Today at 02:14:59 am] Groddil:
* A fifty-foot geranium steps on Lady Amber
[Today at 02:15:08 am] * Ashleg rattles the bars of the cage
[Today at 02:15:16 am] Ashleg: Let me out!
[Today at 02:15:17 am] Groddil:
* A fifty-foot geranium eats the cage whole
[Today at 02:15:22 am] Mhera: Bye James!
[Today at 02:15:30 am] Groddil: bye James
[Today at 02:15:31 am] Ashleg: !!!
[Today at 02:15:39 am] Mhera: Thanks for the help!
[Today at 02:15:40 am] Perifæn: Bye James.
[Today at 02:15:52 am] Groddil: Enjoy your vacation inside the fifty-foot geranium
[Today at 02:15:59 am] Russa Nodrey: *Eats*
[Today at 02:16:12 am] Russa Nodrey: Bye, James.
[Today at 02:16:19 am] Perifæn: @Ash aren't you a pine martin?
[Today at 02:16:50 am] Ashleg: I am.
[Today at 02:16:53 am] * Groddil grows more fifty-foot geraniums
[Today at 02:16:58 am] Ashleg: ...
[Today at 02:17:06 am] * Groddil crosses geraniums with crocodiles. Somehow. Don't ask.
[Today at 02:17:06 am] Lady Amber: Wait, I got eaten by a huge flower?
[Today at 02:17:11 am] Ashleg: *does a crooked smirk*
))
Here's our flag, made by the wonderful LT Sandpaw!
(http://i1300.photobucket.com/albums/ag91/Dragger115/The%20Horde%20Flag_zpsyetlvs8d.png~original)
I SHALL JOIN!!! I SHALL FIGHT FOR THE LOVE OF SPAM!!!!
HOORAH! HOORAH!
Time for the initiation! *knocks DELTHION into a flaming pool of hot cocoa*
Don't forget the Giant Crocogeranium the size of Alaska currently in the Mariana Trench.
I think that we should kick Del out and Ashleg's horde will be Ashleg, Groddil, Sand, and me.
I thought you were an enemy though, Sage. You attempted to destroy the horde at Redwall.
¿Qué?
You attacked us with a star destroyer. YOU DESTROYED MY SHOP!!!!!
That was the Death Star.
I do not care. YOU DESTROYED MY SHOP!!!
/me is enraged.
/me attacks Sagetip with a squeaky hammer
What can I do to prove that I'm on your side?
Rebuilt Groddil's Ye Olde Magicks Shoppe. Bigger and better than ever. Install a special thingy so that if the Shoppe is destroyed, either directly or indirectly, by you, you die as well.
Done.
My shop! It's perfect!!!
/me appears behind counter.
"Welcome to Groddil's Ye Olde Magicks Shoppe! We sell just about anything you can think of, and also offer a special deal to feed your enemies to the giant crocogeranium!"
Yay!! The shop is back!
I'd like a Princess Kurda plushie and some lemonade..
/me hands Ashleg a lemonade dispenser shaped like Princess Kurda.
"There you go."
It's...Beautiful.
And really weird.
It's not what I wanted.
Why does the lemonade come out of her mouth? It's like she's puking summery drinks!
/me screams in horror
You should swear allegiance to the DDBs.
For the Horde!
(http://i1300.photobucket.com/albums/ag91/Dragger115/The%20Horde%20Flag_zpsyetlvs8d.png~original)
Quote from: LT Sandpaw on February 20, 2016, 03:39:06 PM
For the Horde!
(http://i1300.photobucket.com/albums/ag91/Dragger115/The%20Horde%20Flag_zpsyetlvs8d.png~original)
Truly a great work of cetacean art.
SO BEAUTIFUL! ;D ;D ;D
I shall proudly raise our flag on the first page!
*Places the flag over the Shoppe and then salutes it.*
I as a follower of the horde raise our flag to fly forever more over our lands. The Strong it Represents, The Brave it Leads, The Weak it Supports! All loyal horde soldiers shout for your horde! Huzzah For The Horde!
/me smirks and bows
Thank you, thank you!
But I know what it really represents. Whales, jigsaw puzzles, and hot cocoa!
To commemorate this glorious occasion, I present a heart-rending work of literature:
Spoiler
(http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/your-people-demand-whales.jpg)
*Slashes the flag to ribbons with sword*
*sniffles*
Why, that's the most beautiful thing I've ever read...
*gasps and punches Ashenwyte*
YOU INCONSIDERATE FOOL! >:c
*Is punched* YOU N'WAH! *Throws iced tea at Ashleg*
"FOR THE HORDE!"
/me dives in front of the iced tea.
"Uh...I die, so that the horde may live...PLANT ARMY...ATTACK!!!"
/me dies.
/me leaves the Mariana Trench and eats the Shoppe.
/me Spits out the Shoppe, but swallows Ashenwyte.
/me is revived.
*Melts the Giant Crocogeranium's insides with coffee* *Leaps out of the dying Giant Corogeranium's mouth* *Pours coffee and caramel all over the Shoppe*
Quote from: Lord Ashenwyte on February 21, 2016, 02:54:24 AM
*Slashes the flag to ribbons with sword*
What brought that on? Did you have a sudden impulse of irresistible, illogical violence?
*Takes out a puzzle of a museum.*
*Builds the puzzle*
*Pulls the museum of Horde History out of the puzzle and deposits it next to the shoppe.*
*Puts the torn flag in a guarded exhibit.*
*Replaces the first flag with a new one.*
There we go.
Hooray for the museum!
Quote from: Groddil on February 19, 2016, 02:47:45 AM
Rebuilt Groddil's Ye Olde Magicks Shoppe. Bigger and better than ever. Install a special thingy so that if the Shoppe is destroyed, either directly or indirectly, by you, you die as well.
Thank you, Groddil.
/me desetroys
Groddil's Ye Olde Magicks Shoppe.
I expertly throw my lightsaber, guiding it towards Daskar's back. The humming green blade emerges from his chest, slaying the enemy like it was foretold.
/me dummy falls over.
/me watches Sage die.
/me revives Sagetip and recreates the Shoppe.
/me adds a special Daskar killing device to the Shoppe so he dies if it is destroyed.
/me can't die. He is too overpowered.
I am also overpowered. Let's form an alliance!
Ashleg, no! Daskar attempted to kill us at Redwall.
Exactly.
He is a defeated enemy. Forgive and forget!
/me fabulously drinks hot cocoa
*Mixes bitter coffee into the cocoa*
Quote from: Groddil on February 23, 2016, 03:44:49 AM
Ashleg, no! Daskar attempted to kill us at Redwall.
Groddil, you're part of the Imperium, don't resist alliances.
Quote from: Ashleg on February 23, 2016, 03:28:51 AM
I am also overpowered. Let's form an alliance!
Sure. How does Governor of the Earth, sound to you?
But...you LITERALLY JUST destroyed the Shoppe.
Hah. I'm Emperor of the universe, so wouldn't that be a step down? Actually, I'll pass.
*high fives Groddil and then takes a sip of hot cocoa*
...Augh!! Which one of you meanies put COFFEE in my drink?!?
/me cheers and high-fives Ashleg.
"IT WAS ASHENWYTE!!!"
/me shoots Groddil and Ashleg with a bazooka.
"MWAHAAHAHAHAHAAAA! I, THE ANONYMOUS ONE, WILL DESTROY YOUR PITIFUL HORDE!!!!"
Quote from: Ashleg on February 23, 2016, 10:18:53 PM
Hah. I'm Emperor of the universe,
Impersonating The Emperor, a very serious crime.
Hah, fools! Lord Daskar, I suggest an alliance to destroy these pitiful hordebeasts.
First I must know who you are, personal messengers?
My true identity shall never be revealed, not even to you! Compromising my true self will not end well...
/me reforms and heals Ashleg.
Quote from: Anonymous on February 23, 2016, 11:38:18 PM
My true identity shall never be revealed, not even to you! Compromising my true self will not end well...
So you are an enemy?
The enemy of my enemy is my friend.
For all I know you're Ashenwyte, Sand, Delth, or Sage.
Perhaps.
Quote from: Lord Daskar on February 23, 2016, 11:42:31 PM
For all I know you're Ashenwyte, Sand, Delth, or Sage.
Scratch me, it's probably you, posting as someone else.
Yeah, I agree with Sagetip.
/me whacks Anonymous with a squeaky hammer.
*evil laughter*
/me dodges.
Impersonating me, are you? Tsk tsk. Shall we work together to destroy this horde?
Sounds like a plan. Although I'm not sure of what's going on with this horde.
Quote from: Anonymous on February 24, 2016, 12:08:23 AM
/me dodges.
Impersonating me, are you? Tsk tsk. Shall we work together to destroy this horde?
OH MY GOODNESS. I KNOW THAT'S YOU, GRODDIL.
GUYS, I FOUND A LOOPHOLE IN THE SYSTEM!!! When I was looking at Recent Posts, it explicitly said that this post was made by Groddil, and it had the little ghost dude next to his name!
Fight me, anonymous! >:0
Quote from: Jukka the Sling on February 24, 2016, 12:23:32 AM
Quote from: Anonymous on February 24, 2016, 12:08:23 AM
/me dodges.
Impersonating me, are you? Tsk tsk. Shall we work together to destroy this horde?
OH MY GOODNESS. I KNOW THAT'S YOU, GRODDIL.
GUYS, I FOUND A LOOPHOLE IN THE SYSTEM!!! When I was looking at Recent Posts, it explicitly said that this post was made by Groddil, and it had the little ghost dude next to his name!
Also, Groddil's the only one who does the red-text action thing.
Mm.
I got proof!
Spoiler
(http://i1371.photobucket.com/albums/ag294/jukkathesling/groddilanon_zpsomdrcrij.jpg)
/me sighs with regret.
Falsehoods and accusations. I am not Groddil, for I am...
LIDDORG!!!
/me casts off bedsheet disguise.
MWAHAHAHAAAAa!
NNNNNOOOOOO!!
/me Attacks Ashleg with a deflated squeaky hammer.
/me sends an army of whales to defeat Liddorg
/me summons an army of whaling ships.
"Pitiful."
/me attacks Ashleg with bad-quality Redwall merchandise.
Hello, Liddorg. It's Emperor Ashenwyte here.
Hello, Emperor Ashenwyte. I presume you are here to suggest an alliance?
Indeed. Where is the good Tsar? I must have missed him on my way here.
/me leaps out of a bush
Do you mean meeee?
He means Tsar Vladimir Groddil, from War in 1700. Unfortunately, the Tsar is not here, neither is Shwitz. The Swiss stole my name, and that is unfortunate. He too must die. But first, another issue to address.
/me drowns Ashleg in iced coffee.
*Takes over the shoppe* THIS IS THE EMPEROR'S SHOPPE NOW.
/me
/me emerges from the chunks of Liddorg.
"DON'T...TOUCH...MY...SHOPPE!!!
/me destroys Ashenwyte.
*Emperor Ashenwyte dodges* I did not get my empire through diplomacy alone, fool. *Destroys Shoppe* You're not having it.
/me rebuilds shoppe with a special anti-Ashenwyte barrier around it
*DDBs crack open the barrier* *Destroys the shoppe*
GRODDIL!! ATTACK!!
*Pours coffee all over Groddil's shoppe and Ashleg*
*splutters*
Gah! I despite coffee!
/me whacks Lord Ashenwyte with a giant brick
/me hisses.
/me attacks Lord Ashenwyte with Liam's BlowtorchTM.
/me congratulates Groddil
*Dodges* *Pours coffee all over Groddil and his Shoppe*
/me mixes the coffee with hot cocoa, creating a delicious mocha, then slurps it up greedily.
*Groddil melts from drinking the coffee* *Hacks the Shoppe apart*
/me , in the middle of destroying the shoppe, accidentally hits Liam's BlowtorchTM, exploding himself.
EVERYONE!!!
I HAVE PIZZA! IT'S A PIZZA PARTY FOR THE HORDE!
Ashenwyte isn't invited.
Yaaay! What flavour pizza is it?
/me sprinkles Anti-Ashenwyte, Anti-DDB, Anti-Anyone-who-isn't-part-of-the-horde poison-powder on the pizza.
Quote from: Ashleg on March 03, 2016, 04:44:58 AM
Ashenwyte isn't invited.
(http://images2.fanpop.com/image/photos/9800000/Conan-Angry-late-night-with-conan-obrien-9887548-272-142.gif)
There's many different flavors!
/me locks Lord Ashenwyte in a cage.
(https://media0.giphy.com/media/OqEBxidnkAut2/giphy.gif)
/me munches on a slice of double-pepperoni meat-lovers with a bacon and cheese stuffed crust, garnished with Anti-Ashenwyte, Anti-DDB, Anti-Anyone-who-isn't-part-of-the-horde poison-powder.
"Mmm, delicious..."
/me kicks Groddil down and steals his pizza.
HAHARR, MATEY! I BE A PIRATE PLUNDERIN' GRODDIL'S PIZZA
"Oh no you don't!"
/me traps Ashleg in sticky melted cheese and takes the pizza back.
/me eats the pizza.
"Sorry 'bout that, boss, but I was hungry."
/me eats his way out of the cheese
"Come here, Addlebrain!"
/me whacks Groddil with a spork
/me dodges the spork.
"I wrote this thing..."
Spoiler
Groddil presents...An Ashleg Entertainment Storybook...FOR THE HORDE! (A Choose Your Own Adventure)Your name...is
Xx_360Noscoped_xX Jimmy. You have just created an account on the Redwall Abbey Forum. You look around. Hmm, where to go?
General Redwall Discussion
You decided to go to the Redwall Discussion board. Unfortunately, all there is to talk about has been burned out long ago. Why don't you go somewhere else?
The Roleplay Board
Roleplaying sounds fun. You go to the RP board, and begin to post. Unfortunately, all the active RPs were closed, so the owners chase you away. Why don't you go somewhere else?
The Cellars
You enter...the cellars. What could possibly go wrong? So many topics, Adventure to Gadna, that sounds interesting. Or how about that Consult the Bird-Lion thread? You begin making your way over to something interesting, when a pine marten attacks you. To your surprise, it begins to speak!
"Whadda you doin' here? Ooh, fresh meat... >:3 Come join my horde!"
You are whisked away to a strange place, where upon the pine marten greets you again.
"I'm Ashleg, who are you?"
Say "My name's Jimmy"
"My names J-"
"THAT'S GREAT! YOU CAN BE 'FAITHFUL HORDEBEAST.' THAT'S A GREAT NAME, HUH FAITHFUL HORDEBEAST?"
Say "Yeah, I guess so..."
"Yeah, I guess so..."
"EXCELLENT! Now, FAITHFUL HORDEBEAST, we exist for one reason! To bring the wonderfullness of HOT COCOA AND JIGSAW PUZZLES to the rest of the forum. Take these leaflets and deliver them across all the boards!"
Try to escape
You ignore the leaflets and run for it. You see a whale nearby, and jump onto it. The whale spouts hot cocoa from its blowhole and flies into the sky. You stick your tongue out at Ashleg down below, who is throwing stuff at you, but no avail.
"Hahahahaha!"
You laugh in joy, time to get out of here. Maybe you'd be more sane in Cavern Hole...Unfortunately, a passing helicopter pilotted by LT Sandpaw kills your whale, and you splat on the ground. Ashleg laughs at you and pours hot cocoa over your corpse. You have died, try again.
Take the leaflets
You take the leaflets from Ashleg's paw. He cackles at you and points towards the exit.
"Alrighty, there are 3 places that need leaflets delivered to. Adventure to Gadna, War in 1700, and The Most Random Thread Ever!"
Take leaflets to Adventure to Gadna
You decide to head to Adventure to Gadna first. As soon as you enter, you see rachel23 and Faiyloe stuck in conversation with each other. Nobody else is there. You try to pin up a leaflet, but a giant "CLOSED" sign appears, preventing you from doing so.
Hack rachel23's account
After some effort, you eventually manage to hack rachel23's account. You use her account to pin up the leaflets. Unfortunately, you are perma-banned from the forum. Despite this, Ashleg manages to track you down in real life. You are initially shocked at his real appearance, but then he drags you back into the internet. You are never seen again. You're probably dead, so try again.
Post anyway
You decide to ignore the "CLOSED" sign and post anyway. James Gryphon appears out of nowhere, chews you out, gaqs you, and deletes your post. You reappear in the cellars, and Adventure to Gadna seems to have disappeared. Oh well, there must be a different way to put up the leaflets.
Put the leaflets up in "Grande Forum Masquerade"
You attempt to put the leaflets up in "Grande Forum Masquerade." Unfortunately, all of the normal people from the forum don't like that, so they kick you out. Your leaflets never broke the rules; however, so they're still there. That should do!
*1 SET OF LEAFLETS PUT UP*
Put the leaflets up in "Christmas 2K15
Nice work, fool. You posted in a dead topic. In minutes, Christmas 2K15 is quickly bumped down to the bottom of the board by popular threads you could have chosen from. Try again.
Take leaflets to War in 1700
Upon entering the War in 1700 thread, you quickly notice that there appears to be a war going on (duh). You see two armies, one Russian and one Swedish, duking it out. Maybe if you help one, they'll accept your leaflets! Hmm, but which one...
Support the Swedish
WHY DIDN'T YOU READ THE NEXT COUPLE PAGES? If you did, you would know that Sweden loses the war. Typical, too lazy to read through all the pages, it wouldn't take you THAT long, maybe only about 2 hours. Nonetheless, you are executed by the Russians for your poor choices.
Support the Russians
The Russian army utterly reks the Swedish army. You approach the Tsar and mention that for your loyalty, you should be allowed to put up some leaflets. Unfortunately, you are not allowed to, instead, you are stuck governing the Russian-occupied Sweden.
Return to Ashleg and tell him of your failure
"Err...sorry, Ashleg, but..."
"Yes, FAITHFUL HORDEBEAST? Did you get the leaflets? What is it? TELL ME!"
"I...kinda, sorta failed to put leaflets up in War in 1700..."
Ashleg shakes his head.
"Tsk, tsk. I would suggest that you put them up in my RP instead, but you aren't a part. What a shame...Well, I guess I'll have to turn your intestines into a jigsaw puzzle...
Beg for forgiveness
"Wait, please Ashleg, don't do this!"
Ashleg cocks his head to one side.
"Sorry, FAITHFUL HORDEBEAST, but I don't tolerate failure any more than I tolerate people not posting enough in my RP. Don't worry, you'll be much more useful to the horde as a fun, entertaining jigsaw puzzle! HeheeheaeeeaaaA!"
You have died, and your intestines made into a jigsaw puzzle. Try again.
Stick a leaflet on Ashleg
Not thinking straight, you lash out to defend yourself, sticking a leaflet in the middle of Ashleg's forehead. After realizing what you've done, you cringe and await punishment.
"Hey...that's a good idea, FAITHFUL HORDEBEAST! Now, wherever I go, they'll see the leaflet. Congratulations!
*1 SET OF LEAFLETS PUT UP*
Govern Sweden until you are allowed to put up leaflets
You decide to stay in your position. Eventually; however, Sweden is invaded, and Russia goes off to fight Spain. You're on your own, you need to fight them off.
PowerPlay the enemy out of existence
You break the rules, defeating the opposition in an instant. You are once again kicked out of the thread, but you manage to put up your leaflets before you go. SUCCESS!
*1 SET OF LEAFLETS PUT UP*
Surrender, and hope Russia comes back to help you
Yeah, shame that Lord Daskar takes no prisoners. Your surrender is practically inviting him to stab you. So he does. You lose, and there's no way to put up your leaflets. Try again.
Take leaflets to The Most Random Thread Ever!
You successfully put leaflets up in The Most Random Thread Ever! Unfortunately, the thread is, as the title suggests, random. Your leaflets are quickly forgotten amongst the many subject changes and spam posts. There has to be another way to do this...
Associate the leaflets with the topic of discussion
You make several long, thought-out posts about how the leaflets actually relate to the topic of discussion. Unfortunately, the thread is, as the title suggests, random. The moment the topic changes, your leaflets are forgotten.
Spam the thread with leaflet posts.
This is da cellars, we do wut we want! You spam the thread with leaflet posts, but because you make sure to not double post or make unnecessarily long walls of text, you TECHNICALLY aren't doing anything that bad. The thread is, as the title suggests, random. In time, people begin to notice your leaflets. SUCCESS!
*1 SET OF LEAFLETS PUT UP*
Click here once you finish delivering the leaflets.
"Nice work, FAITHFUL HORDEBEAST! I think it's about time I organized a pizza party for the horde, don't you?"
"Umm..."
"GREAT IDEA, FAITHFUL HORDEBEAST! We'll need to make sure that non-hordebeasts don't invade, so YOU can stand guard. Don't worry, you're missing out on pizza for the good of the horde! Run along now..."
Protest
"Hang on, why can't someone else do it? I mean, I just delivered all the le-"
"ARE YOU BEING DISOBEDIENT, FAITHFUL HORDEBEAST? >:O"
"No, I just..."
Ashleg pours hot cocoa down your throat until it burns away your insides. You have died. Try again.
Comply
"Fine. I'll keep watch."
"Excellent, FAITHFUL HORDEBEAST!"
You trudge off wearily towards the border with the cellar.s After some time of uneventful watch, a mysterious figure approaches.
"I AM KINGMAKER, PREPARE TO BE DESTROYED!"
Attack Kingmaker
"Oh, yeah! Maybe I should destroy you! FALCON...PUNCH!!!"
You throw a tiny punch at Kingmaker. Only Captain Falcon is capable of the Falcon Punch, so it fizzles out harmlessly. Kingmaker cackles evilly, then turns you inside out and inflates your spleen. Your inside-out body floats away into the sky. Try again.
Tell Ashleg
You run off back to Ashleg as soon as Kingmaker appears.
"Ashleg! Kingmaker is attacking!"
Ashleg's eyes go wide, and he runs around flapping his arms like a bird.
"FAITHFUL HORDEBEAST! Go get a weapon from
Groddil's Ye Olde Magicks Shoppe and Cafe!
Grab the Whale Cannon
"EAT THIS, KINGMAKER!"
You pull the trigger of the Whale Cannon, shooting a high-speed whale at Kingmaker. The whale smashes him into a wall, trapping him. You line up a second shot and pull the trigger. If only whales weren't so slippery...The second whale shoots towards Kingmaker, bounces off of the first one, and shoots back towards you. You are squished by the whale's immense bulk. Try again.
Grab the Squeaky Hammer
"EAT THIS, KINGMAKER!"
You swing the squeaky hammer at Kingmaker, aiming to take his head off in one shot. Shame you forgot to inflate it. The squeaky hammer bounces harmlessly off Kingmaker, who steps on you. You died. Try again.
Grab the Piece of Cheese.
"EAT THIS, KINGMAKER!"
You throw the cheese at Kingmaker, who eats it in one bite.
"Mmm, tasty."
Kingmaker burps and turns around. Muttering strangely about finding more cheese, he leaves the horde alone. Ashleg comes up to you and throws an arm around you shoulder.
"Congratulations, FAITHFUL HORDEBEAST! You saved the horde! I think you deserve a reward..."
Request pizza
"Could I...have some pizza?"
"WHAT? Hey, I'm still hungry, FAITHFUL HORDEBEAST! Maybe I should just eat you, I am a cannibal, after all!"
You begin to feel hair sprouting all over your body. You look at your hands, which have become paws. You look into a nearby mirror, and to your horror, you have become a pine marten. You look over your shoulder, and see Ashleg approaching with a knife and spork. You're probably gonna die. Try again.
Decline a reward
"I...really don't need a reward, Ashleg."
"WHAT?! If I say you get a reward, THEN YOU GET A REWARD! If you're just going to be ungrateful, FINE! YOU DON'T GET A REWARD! In fact, I may just have to punish you. GEEEEEEEET OOOOOOOUUUUUTTTT!"
Ashleg kicks you roughly in the backside, sending you sprawling out of the horde thread.
"Wait...Did I...WHOOOOOO!"
You relish in your new-found freedom. It's just a pity that without the horde, you don't fit into any groups. So, like many before you, you are doomed to live the life of a lurker. Try again to get back in Ashleg's good books.
Request a jigsaw puzzle
"Hmm...You seem to have a lot of...Jigsaw puzzles lying around..."
"Great idea, FAITHFUL HORDEBEAST! Here's a jigsaw puzzle of my second-in-command, Groddil. Why don't you go off to some dark corner and try to put it together. Shouldn't take you very long..."
CONGRATULATIONS!!! You...won, I guess? There's a part 2 coming, starring yours truly as Ashleg's (slightly less) insane 2IC.
Say "Your 'Caps Lock' key is stuck.
"Your 'Caps Lock' key is stuck."
"What's a 'Caps Lock' key? I think there's something wrong with you, FAITHFUL HORDEBEAST! You need to be cleansed in the fiery brilliance of boiling hot cocoa!"
Before you can reply, Ashleg grabs you and throws you into a massive vat of boiling cocoa. Suffice to say, you die. Try again.
Say "Hi Ashleg"
"Hi Ashley!"
Oops. No you've done it! You said the wrong thing!
"Who are you calling Ashley, Jimmy, ya Crazyhead?"
Ashleg attacks you with a spork, and you die. Try again.
Forum Games
You go to Forum Games. So...addicting! You spend so long stuck in Guys VS Girls that you begin to lose your sanity. Go to rehab, then choose a different place.
And everybeast died! The end. Heh heh heh.
*dips a pine marten cookie in hot cocoa and takes a bite*
*Argulor swoops down and eats Ashleg the pine marten*
Oh, look, it's that stupid bird again? Uh, uhh... *runs* *trips because of peg leg* *gets eaten*
*reappears*
Ashleg's nine hundred lives. You gotta love 'em.
Invincible is better.
/me grabs some double-pepperoni meat-lovers with a bacon and cheese stuffed crust.
Invinvible? Yes. Impervious to an eternity of paralyzing pain? No, cause you just ate pizza that had Anti-Anyone-Who-Isn't-Part-of-the-Horde Poison-Powder on it. Enjoy your never ending torture.
Typical Daskar, there is little room left for creativity when the most creative thing you can do is make yourself invincible. I enjoy the challenge of being the underdog, but still besting the one who try to make themselves all powerful, it makes things interesting.
Anyway.
This shall be the new meeting place for the Horde Party. I Sandpaw 'Lieutenant in the horde, and Ambassador of Elestra' shall be campaign manager during the election while Emperor Senator Ashleg is running Cellar president. Do all find this acceptable? If not too bad you don't get a say, only Ashleg does!
Ahem, Mr. Ashleg if you would please say a few words.
*clears throat*
A few words.
*The Crowd erupts into applause.*
Quote from: Groddil on March 08, 2016, 08:39:50 PM
Invinvible? Yes. Impervious to an eternity of paralyzing pain? No, cause you just ate pizza that had Anti-Anyone-Who-Isn't-Part-of-the-Horde Poison-Powder on it. Enjoy your never ending torture.
I happen to be immune to Anti-Anyone-Who-Isn't-Part-of-the-Horde Poison-Powder. And Ashleg's also running for President, now we will see who Groddil is loyal to, me or Ashleg.
I, General Groddil, Second-in-Command of the Horde, stand by the decision of Lieutenant Sandpaw. All hail Emperor Senator Ashleg!
Guess I'll be finding a new king, first thing first though, Kill Groddil's S.S.s.
I don't think anyone is foolish enough to be loyal to you Daskar.
I think the words you're looking for are, smart enough.
Quote from: Lord Daskar on March 08, 2016, 10:30:21 PM
Guess I'll be finding a new king, first thing first though, Kill Groddil's S.S.s.
Gladly, I didn't like those mutant Nazis anyway.
/me straps atomic bombs to the S.S 2.0s and sends them to Daskaria.
/me shrinks down the entire milky way into the size of a tennis ball and locks it in a safe in the middle of Hordeland.
/me sprays Cologne on Groddil's troops, they die.
/me takes Milky Way.
/me 's mutant nazis explode in nuclear fire.
/me sprays Anti-Daskar poison-powder on the Milky Way and swallows it.
/me swallows an atomic bomb, that sticks to the mini milky way.
Try me. You take the milky way, the bomb explodes and destroys it.
*applauds*
Good, smart Groddil! Smart Sandpaw as well. Daskar is going down.
/me shoves the real Lord Daskar into a portal which sends him to an inpenetrable cage
/me throws extremely hot plasma into the portal.
/me teleports out of cage.
OK Groddil, it's only one Galaxy.
Quote from: Lord Daskar on March 08, 2016, 10:40:32 PM
/me teleports out of cage.
OK Groddil, it's only one Galaxy.
I put a fragment of your soul inside. Like, 50% of it. You'll become a lot dumber if you try anything.
/me Doesn't teleport out because he can't
So Senator Ashleg what is your stance on increasing the amount of Puzzles and Hot Coco made in the Cellars?
/me did no matter what Sand says.
/me uses my soulsucker on Groddil.
/me sucks out my soul and part of Groddil's.
/me pushes the "detonate in 1 minute" button on the atomic bomb.
/me Doesn't no matter what he thinks due to Ashleg having all the power in the Horde Thread.
@LT SandpawI think it's wonderful that the Cellars are finally getting more of what they need to flourish, but it isn't enough just yet. As soon as I become President those numbers will rise drastically and nobeast will be without hot cocoa and jigsaw puzzles!
Quote from: Ashleg on March 08, 2016, 10:48:00 PM
@LT Sandpaw
I think it's wonderful that the Cellars are finally getting more of what they need to flourish, but it isn't enough just yet. As soon as I become President those numbers will rise drastically and nobeast will be without hot cocoa and jigsaw puzzles!
I find that hard, Vilu will continue to be a pestilence.
*returns to intelligence terminal*
No. Vilu will be excecuted. ^^
Quote from: Ashleg on March 08, 2016, 11:55:41 PM
No. Vilu will be excecuted. ^^
No, he'll find some outrageous yet un inventive way to get out of it. Something he's already done, like "that was really just Bilu" or "I injected myself with the S.S. formula" etc.
If you join me we will find a way to outwit him.
Quote from: Ashleg on March 09, 2016, 12:01:50 AM
If you join me we will find a way to outwit him.
I already joined you.
Here's my plan: Do this in each of your posts.
@Lord Daskar
Amazing plan.
@Lord Daskar
How will summoning him help?
It will annoy the living daylights out of him due to the fact that he'll keep seeing numbers by his profile.
Cute, but I'm going to change that soon to get a Mentions button up there in the menu bar.
Quote from: James Gryphon on March 09, 2016, 12:27:56 AM
Cute, but I'm going to change that soon to get a Mentions button up there in the menu bar.
Which means...
@Vilu Daskar
We'll smoke him out!
I don't think @Vilu Daskar will work. But he'll certainly be annoyed by people calling him Vilu.
Quote from: LT Sandpaw on March 09, 2016, 12:33:36 AM
I don't think @Vilu Daskar will work. But he'll certainly be annoyed by people calling him Vilu.
Or Daskaroni.
His name shall henceforth be Vilu Pepperoni the Mild.
Lovin' it. ;D
So am I. ;D
You do realize that is completely ineffective, don't you?
Whatever Vilu.
So Mr. Ashleg why should our potential voters choose you over the other possible nominees?
Unlike other nominees, I successfully rule a horde.
I know how to make choices that won't bring the world into potential chaos. B)
/me puts on really loud smooth jazz
What utter nonsense.
Mr. Ashleg, one more question. How will you convince people to vote for you rather then the other possible nominees? While there are those (Like myself) who already agree with your plans, others will need convincing. Do you have any future projects planned that will ensure your victory?
Well, yes.
All good rulers presidents give out flyers, don't they? I'll have that and will also bribe them with art. This place will be decorated before they know it!
/me throws pizza at Groddil
Why do we want someone who doesn't obey the law for president? Ashleg made a double post up there. He has been around long enough to know not to make a double post! Vote for me I never sometimes double post!
Senator Ashleg it would seem our opposition is growing daily, and their popularity is increase drastically. However the news isn't all bad, we have managed to secure Rachel as a potential voter, President Soren has endorsed us, I am working on Wraith, and I believe Sage supports the Horde party, and of course Groddil and myself fully back you. Lord Daskar has very little popularity and the other possible candidates, Izeroth and Lord Ashenwyte haven't managed to truly lift their campaigns off the ground. Our true competition is from Governor Tam, Senator Wylder, and Senator Delthion. They're tactics are heavily centered in popularity and loud action. To defeat them you must keep a level head and speak calmly, stick to what is possible, and not foolish plans like building a wall that will do nothing but waste money.
As your campaign adviser I would suggest speaking to the older forumites who are comfortable with the way things are. Wylder and Tam are insisting upon radical changes, and making claims of making the forum great again. We need to focus our efforts to show the Cellar's citizens that the cellars are still, and always will be great.
As for Delthion, he has been making crazy claims about murdering thousands of guests without mercy, and slaughtering their leader. We can use this against him, he will no longer be a threat to your candidacy.
I say, as a a member of the FNN I cannot support any one party, nor two or three or all of them! Please do not use my name in political discussions without my permission.
The individual news reporters are allowed to have its opinion. And your a member of the horde. But if you don't want to present your support for the Horde Party then I'll make sure to remove you from potential voters.
Yes please. (Not to say I won't vote)
Quote from: Tam and Martin on March 11, 2016, 02:31:52 PM
Why do we want someone who doesn't obey the law for president? Ashleg made a double post up there. He has been around long enough to know not to make a double post! Vote for me I never sometimes double post!
The evidence that Governor Tam has double-posted is right there, said by Tam himself.
Do we really want somebeast who lies as President?
I don't think so.
Cupcakes for the Horde Party!
/me gives his supporters cupcakes
*takes cup cake*
Personally, I think this position should be taken more seriously by the entire forum. Maybe the Cellar President should be the official representative of the members when it comes to requests to the Mods. This should be made a bigger deal of.
#VoteAshleg
Yes it should.
Yay Rachel!
Thank you.
*eats cupcake*
Quote from: LT Sandpaw on March 11, 2016, 10:39:12 PM
The individual news reporters are allowed to have its opinion. And your a member of the horde. But if you don't want to present your support for the Horde Party then I'll make sure to remove you from potential voters.
Actually, in a discussion with me, Sagetip decided to revoke his membership from the horde. Very disappointing, I know.
Quote from: rachel25 on March 12, 2016, 12:23:25 AM
*takes cup cake*
Personally, I think this position should be taken more seriously by the entire forum. Maybe the Cellar President should be the official representative of the members when it comes to requests to the Mods. This should be made a bigger deal of.
#VoteAshleg
@rachel25 We've been getting flak for the use of "#VoteAshleg," due to beliefs about ruining grammer and suchlike. As I am sure Ashleg will support me, we do not want to make the forum the next Twitter. Please use ">:3 VoteAshleg" instead, in future.
Okay.
Quote from: Groddil on March 13, 2016, 05:40:13 AM
Quote from: LT Sandpaw on March 11, 2016, 10:39:12 PM
The individual news reporters are allowed to have its opinion. And your a member of the horde. But if you don't want to present your support for the Horde Party then I'll make sure to remove you from potential voters.
Actually, in a discussion with me, Sagetip decided to revoke his membership from the horde. Very disappointing, I know.
Quote from: rachel25 on March 12, 2016, 12:23:25 AM
*takes cup cake*
Personally, I think this position should be taken more seriously by the entire forum. Maybe the Cellar President should be the official representative of the members when it comes to requests to the Mods. This should be made a bigger deal of.
#VoteAshleg
@rachel25 We've been getting flak for the use of "#VoteAshleg," due to beliefs about ruining grammer and suchlike. As I am sure Ashleg will support me, we do not want to make the forum the next Twitter. Please use ">:3 VoteAshleg" instead, in future.
It's actually
(? ?? ?)? Vote Ashleg
I revoked my membership with the horde party due to lack of infrastructure, monetary-based party support, a weak internal government structure, and various other issues that make Ashleg and his compatriots ill suited for leadership of a place like the Cellars.
Who are you going to go for then?
I'm the leader of a large news company who drags in plenty of attention and money on a not-so-daily basis. I don't need to support anyone except myself. Greed is an evil motive... But if you contain it, it can become the most powerful engine in the world.
I do agree that the Horde needs some organisation.
@Ashleg we should deal with this now.
The horde is organized.
Sage is just spreading anti-Ashleg propaganda.
BUMP! :0
HAPPY EASTER TO DA HORDE!
Yay!
/me munches on a cadbury flake.
*eats cake*
Quote from: rachel25 on March 28, 2016, 12:28:04 AM
*eats cake*
Thats funny because I actually had cake for easter.
I had black forest gateau today and there's cake in that.
Quote from: Inquisitor on March 28, 2016, 10:15:37 PM
Quote from: rachel25 on March 28, 2016, 12:28:04 AM
*eats cake*
Thats funny because I actually had cake for easter.
I almost had cake and had jellybeans instead. :P
/me raises the horde flag over the Cellars.
*Pours coffee over Ashleg and the flag*
Quote from: Lord Ashenwyte on June 26, 2016, 12:54:00 PM
*Pours coffee over Ashleg and the flag*
Thanks, mate.
LET THEM DRINK COFFEE
*Drowns everybody with grog*
/me watches Ashenwyte drown fake versions of everybody in grog
...odd..
*Revs up chainaxe*
*Cuts everybody down*
How can it be justified that the president of the Cellars has a Horde?
Quote from: Skarzs on July 03, 2016, 01:58:10 AM
How can it be justified that the president of the Cellars has a Horde?
Correct!
*Hacks random Horde members into pieces*
Quote from: Skarzs on July 03, 2016, 01:58:10 AM
How can it be justified that the president of the Cellars has a Horde?
Because I'm the
Emperor Prezzers so I make the laws.
And my horde is my congress.
WE ARE THE GOVERNMENT ~~~
Quote from: Lord Ashenwyte on July 03, 2016, 02:00:05 AM
Quote from: Skarzs on July 03, 2016, 01:58:10 AM
How can it be justified that the president of the Cellars has a Horde?
Correct!
*Hacks random Horde members into pieces*
Noooo
*screech*
*hacks Ashenwyte's computer into pieces*
Hey, "FOR THE EMPRAH!" is Ashenwyte's line.
Quote from: Skarzs on July 03, 2016, 05:34:39 AM
Hey, "FOR THE EMPRAH!" is Ashenwyte's line.
CORRECT!
ANYONE WHO SAYS OTHERWISE IS A HERETIC.
ASHLEG HAS SAID OTHERWISE, SO ASHLEG = HERETIC.
*BLAMS ASHLEG*
For the Horde!
Would tickling Ashe help this situation?
TICKLING IS HERESY. PLEASE REPORT TO YOUR LOCAL COMMISSAR.
*tickles Ashe*
HERESY! *BLAM*
*covers Ashe in glitter*
NO NOT THE GLITTER
*Melts with extreme prejudice*
Quote from: Skarzs on July 03, 2016, 05:34:39 AM
Hey, "FOR THE EMPRAH!" is Ashenwyte's line.
That means Ashe is actually a loyal supporter.
Did anyone notice that Ashe melted?
Kewl...
Dear President, do you know that one 'Faiyloe' has proclaimed herself as queen of the cellars and thus superior to you?
Quote from: Ashleg on July 05, 2016, 11:39:08 PM
Quote from: Skarzs on July 03, 2016, 05:34:39 AM
Hey, "FOR THE EMPRAH!" is Ashenwyte's line.
That means Ashe is actually a loyal supporter.
HOW DARE YOU CLOGGISBETTERINEVERYWAYRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH
Yes Mr. President, what my college, Lord Ashenwyte, says is true. We are willing to follow you, if you and your horde help us in protecting your sovereign right to rule.
I'm not an educational institute. ;D
Some people can spell, some can't. It looks like the word I want.
Quote from: Lord Daskar on July 08, 2016, 04:47:04 PM
Some people can spell, some can't. It looks like the word I want.
Sorry if it came out a bit rude, because that's my style of "humour".
I didn't, I suffer since people can't see me or hear the tone of my voice.
It was not much of a loss
/me staggers drunkenly into the horde.
Oh, perfect.
@Wylder Treejumper: Show your supporters this.
/me forces Clogg to kneel on a large block of wood.
/me pulls out a huge axe.
/me chops Clogg's head off.
/me kicks Clogg's head through a mysterious, conspicuous pair of goal posts.
Hey
@Ashleg, Ashe and I are still waiting on your answer. Your power grows less every day, it must be saved.
Quote from: Lord Daskar on July 08, 2016, 04:40:59 PM
Yes Mr. President, what my college, Lord Ashenwyte, says is true. We are willing to follow you, if you and your horde help us in protecting your sovereign right to rule.
What does that require?
My power isn't threatened no matter whatcha say.
*Ahem* Am I to be beheaded, Sir Ashleg?
Quote from: Groddil on July 11, 2016, 12:36:28 AM
/me staggers drunkenly into the horde.
Oh, perfect.
@Wylder Treejumper: Show your supporters this.
/me forces Clogg to kneel on a large block of wood.
/me pulls out a huge axe.
/me chops Clogg's head off.
/me kicks Clogg's head through a mysterious, conspicuous pair of goal posts.
*Clogg walks in*
Harharhar! Ye killed a clone!
Quote from: Ashleg on July 11, 2016, 10:01:22 PM
Quote from: Lord Daskar on July 08, 2016, 04:40:59 PM
Yes Mr. President, what my college, Lord Ashenwyte, says is true. We are willing to follow you, if you and your horde help us in protecting your sovereign right to rule.
What does that require?
My power isn't threatened no matter whatcha say.
Merely the support of the horde, Lord Ashenwyte and I are perfectly willing to be commanded by such a capable leader as yourself. And your power is threatened, both Eul and Faiy are claiming to be in charge, you must defend your country.
Quote from: Norham Waterpaw on July 12, 2016, 01:57:42 AM
*Ahem* Am I to be beheaded, Sir Ashleg?
*smirks*
Whatever for..?
Quote from: Lord Daskar on July 12, 2016, 05:32:48 PM
Quote from: Ashleg on July 11, 2016, 10:01:22 PM
Quote from: Lord Daskar on July 08, 2016, 04:40:59 PM
Yes Mr. President, what my college, Lord Ashenwyte, says is true. We are willing to follow you, if you and your horde help us in protecting your sovereign right to rule.
What does that require?
My power isn't threatened no matter whatcha say.
Merely the support of the horde, Lord Ashenwyte and I are perfectly willing to be commanded by such a capable leader as yourself. And your power is threatened, both Eul and Faiy are claiming to be in charge, you must defend your country.
So.
You want to join me, is that what you're saying?
Exactly. Such experienced warriors need an experienced leader to help them defeat the said leader's enemies.
And there's zero catch besides you joining?
You'll officially support us against Faiy. You could choose not to have forces in the battle, but you'll take a stance against Faiy.
Okay, you're in.
Personally, I don't see Faiy as a threat. After all, she's a lurker. She won't post enough to secure the integrity of her so-called "ruling."
I don't, either, but we all know how someone can become if they gain enough supporters...a threat to this empire I'm building. ;)
*Laughs at their ignorant empty headed insults* I have people who keep me up to date, as you can see here, my network informs me when I am needed. I have far more important things to do than babysit you lot. What real queen does her own surveillance really, you guys have no class. But hey, underestimate me, it's your funeral.
Nothin' you do or say will have any effect on us.
You see, I'm a president/emperor/dictator, and if you are what you say you are, which is a queen, then the only reason you have any sort of power is because of your bloodline.
INVALIDITY~
go ashleg.
Which Ash?
No! Not the President!
Thankyou Skarzs... Now Ash. While, technically I would prefer the title Empress, that would make me sound like Eolyiaf. Let's just say I am the start of a new Bloodline. ;) :-*
*Revs up chainaxe*
*Sholders troll forged frying pan*
The latter is the better weapon, Ashenwyte. ;D
You've never seen a good chainaxe, then.
/me sends whales to crush Faiy
*Thousands of OITB devour the whales like piranhas* Ash, seriously, The chain anything concept it a bit impractical, it is prone to overheat and is more likely to do you damage than me. Add to that the tendency to get stuck or the mechanism to get clogged up. Besides an actual ax with a good swing behind it is probably going to cut deeper than that could.
*sits down and starts eating popcorn* This is gonna be good!
For the President! *Hacks all of the OITBs to shreds then retreats.*
You forgot MY faithful ZP! *ZP runs up to Del and tickles him*
Mm. Some of your horde looks delicious.
Quote from: Delthion on July 15, 2016, 06:50:41 PM
For the President! *Hacks all of the OITBs to shreds then retreats.*
*Unfortunately for Del before he destroyed them all they ripped him to shreds* Oops... let me fix that for you. ;D ;) *puts Del back together with his arm where his leg should be* There, now you can make millions.
O0
Miss. Queen Faiyloe, you seem to be having some delusions of grandeur, allow me to correct your assumptions with fact. The Horde is the official and unofficial power in the cellars. Emperor/President Ashleg has taken power legitimately and illegitimately making him one of the, if not the, most successful member to even attempt such a thing. He holds influence not only over the ordered cellar dwellers, but also the chaotic powers.
Beyond Skarzs you have very little influence over other members. While Ashleg now has a following of six loyal's, you have two members supporting you. Your claim to be queen is supported only by your own words. You cannot take the cellars legitimately, for you have a very small support base. You cannot take the cellars illegitimately because you do not have the military strength to do so. Beyond these OITBs (What are those anyway?)
I suggest you sign a treaty and swear fealty to the rightful ruler of the cellars before you face the full might and wrath of the Horde! ;D ;)
Faiyloe will never submit!
Skarzs, Rosie, Rachel, Eul all back me. And both Sagetip and Del openly admit to my right to rule. And these are only my confirmed followers.
and it is Overly Imprisoned Teddy Bears. Though really all I do to keep them around is feed them... that and hypnosis. ;D
Rachel and Sagetip are both a part of the Horde, admit ably Sage is only loose member, but he is still a part of the Horde. And I seem to remember Del battling your OITBs up above for the president...
I never said Dell and Sage were on my side, just that they admitted I was Queen. Besides it doesn't matter how many followers I have, When your enemy admits to you queen dome, then it is legit. ;D
Quote from: Faiyloe on July 15, 2016, 08:29:22 PM
Quote from: Delthion on July 15, 2016, 06:50:41 PM
For the President! *Hacks all of the OITBs to shreds then retreats.*
*Unfortunately for Del before he destroyed them all they ripped him to shreds* Oops... let me fix that for you. ;D ;) *puts Del back together with his arm where his leg should be* There, now you can make millions.
Now who is PPing?
I was merely evening the playing field, you still have Skarzs and ZP.
Rachel's my bodyguard, she doesn't back you because she knows better then that for her own good.
I admit that you are a false Queen with no right to rule any will but your own, and your will is one that we will snap!
I prefer not to use my minions in single combat. They are more to deal with things like OP whales.
As for Rachel she is Ashleg's bodyguard, not Ashenwyte's.
as for you Del
Quote from: Delthion on July 07, 2016, 04:12:58 AM
Quote from: Faiyloe on July 07, 2016, 04:05:13 AM
Well I am older than you, when you where a newb I was already queen of the cellars.
Everyone knows that. Even now you are queen of the cellars! ;D
Chew on that. Now this argument is a waste of my time. I am going to go take a shower. Have fun running in circles.
I said that you were queen of the Cellars, I never said that you were a TRUE queen of the Cellars, worthy of the office! ;D
You know what... I am getting bored of this and with school I doubt I will be able to keep up anyway. How about this. You give me the summer with no opposition, and then I promise I will abdicate this fall.
I will agree to that. But I am not sure about Ash...
Apologize for insulting my chainaxe and I won't kill you.
I'm sorry, did I hurt the chain axes feelings? ;D
What about my offer? I get to be queen for the summer, you can still be president, you just have to admit that I am queen. ;)
No, in fact, it really wants to have a meeting with your face. ;D
Thankyou. ;D You have been very helpful. You just proved my theory right. I was betting that if I gave up and gave you and easy guaranteed victory, you would still not be happy. You really are just looking for a conflict and it has nothing to do with the validity of my title. ;D
If I wanted a conflict I'd beat up guests, there's no need for killing members. Plus, I wanted to give a comeback to your previous post.
That is wanting conflict.
Yes, but Faiy still has no real claim to the cellars.
Yes she does. By right of bloodline.
Bloodline? Explain.
FROM THE BLOOD OF THE ORIGINAL FORUM WHERE SHE HELD SWAY.
Quote from: Skarzs on July 16, 2016, 05:29:36 PM
FROM THE BLOOD OF THE ORIGINAL FORUM WHERE SHE HELD SWAY.
Old forum's still alive, in our hearts. WHICH MEANS THAT FAIY IS AN EVIL VAMPIRE ZOMBIE COMMUNIST RAAAAAAGH
*Ahem*
If we use your logic I'm the real king of the Cellars because I was the second member to register and the first person to post in the Cellars. I don't recall Faiy being queen in the old forums, though.
That's because it was so normal no one questioned it.
Quote from: Skarzs on July 16, 2016, 05:32:30 PM
That's because it was so normal no one questioned it.
More like no one recognised it.
I am pretty sure my rein with shade was pretty legitimate. We took over a topic... rule by right of conquest.
You wish.
There was no wishing involved. We held fort there until we got board. Not many round here can say they successfully took over a topic. Sure some might have made their own but that is overrated.
That was on the old forum. Still, you may rule for the summer as 'Queen of Ashes'.
Why even give her that title?
I'll crown her as Queen of her own mind if she wishes, but that's about it.
Quote from: Ashleg on July 17, 2016, 04:45:12 AM
Why even give her that title?
I'll crown her as Queen of her own mind if she wishes, but that's about it.
She could rule a cell in the Insane Asylum.
All I'll say about all this is that this is the most active I've ever seen Faiyloe. Do with that as you will.
Quote from: Groddil on July 17, 2016, 07:30:20 AM
All I'll say about all this is that this is the most active I've ever seen Faiyloe. Do with that as you will.
She's trying to usurp Ashleg with an unexpected increase in activity!
::) Perhaps my prior lack of activity means that I actually have a life.
oooooh savage
Quote from: Faiyloe on July 17, 2016, 08:56:02 PM
::) Perhaps my prior lack of activity means that I actually have a life.
::)
Yeah, thanks for reminding me about that little detail. Some of us don't.
savage
Quote from: Faiyloe on July 17, 2016, 08:56:02 PM
::) Perhaps my prior lack of activity means that I actually have a life.
Is it bad that I laughed? :P
/me doesn't know what is going on anymore.
Nothing much.
Cool.
Quote from: Skarzs on July 18, 2016, 02:46:29 AM
Quote from: Faiyloe on July 17, 2016, 08:56:02 PM
::) Perhaps my prior lack of activity means that I actually have a life.
Is it bad that I laughed? :P
It depends if you cracked your face or not XD XP
Faiy, join Ashleg and the Horde, it's a great thing to be on the right side. And none of us can ignore the fact that our magnificent President is the first Elder of Loamhedge. All hail Ashleg!
I HAVE SENIORITY!!!!
RE-REVIVE! Join my horde or perish!
What can your horde do for me?
The question is not what my horde can do for you, but what can you do for my horde.
Well then.
/me eats most of Ashleg's horde.
/me laughs as he watches Delthion eat the chocolate version of his horde.
What?! No! I needed that chocolate!
/me regurgitates all of the chocolate for Skarzs.
Better?
. . . No.
I've decided to join the Horde
You need to be initiated. Come closer.
M'kay.
*steps closer*
Step closer.
*breaks into a nervous sweat*
*takes one step closer*
Get closer.
/me eats Ashleg.
*nervously looks around*
*inches closer*
/me pulls out a giant eel and slaps Rosie with it.
YOU ARE NOW ONE OF US!
You must swear that you will protect and defend Emperor Ashleg and his horde until death.
OW! *swears* WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?
....
Okay, I solemnly swear that I shall protect and defend Emporor Ashleg until death. *whispers* Seriously why'd ya have to do that
THAT WAS THE INICIATION!
Okay, you're in.
The Horde is asking the real questions.
*Slaps Ash with a giant eel*
You are now in Rosie's horde.
No, she merely slapped me with my own eel because she's an insubordinate little whelp. TIME TO DISCIPLINE HER.
*cooks eggs*
*salts them*
*THROWS THEM AT ROSIE*
Wot.
*Whelps*
NOT THE EGGS
*Runs away*
Ohhhh. I remember now.
Her egg allergy? Yep!
That's not nice.
I mean like, he has done worse. Like chopping my head off, and stabbing me... and showing me videos of crabs eating
I can send you more of those after school, if you want.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO :'(
Quote from: Rosie Willowwater on April 17, 2018, 12:58:54 PM
I mean like, he has done worse. Like chopping my head off, and stabbing me... and showing me videos of crabs eating
The eggs are too real, though.
Wait. . . Crabs eating?
Yes.
Crustaceans consuming nutritional substance by means of chewing.
When did you show that to her? XD
Multiple times.
I send her stuff like this.
Ewww, gross.
WHY? WHY IS IT GROSS?
IT HAS WEIRD EYES AND A WEIRD MOUTH WITH ALL THOSE LITTLE PINCER MANDIBLE THINGS. ALSO WHY DOES IT LIKE FLAMING DORITOS ANYWAY?
Human mouths really aren't any better, when you look at them hard enough.
(https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/fa00267b02123b64fd11845cde7de554e9206396f8b927d91f0a0959050eac22.gif)
Get a dentist.
I don't think that even a dentist could fix that.
Then get a doctor.
Or a hitman.
I'll get a Football Star.
Huh?
Nahhh. . . Still don't get it.
Quote from: Ashleg on April 18, 2018, 09:31:36 PM
I will fetch to you an athlete famous for participating in the sport of football.
Ah.
I'm still confused.
He is going to retrieve for us for our aid a man who is famous for being on professional teams playing the game of American football.
Precisely.
Okay.
ball guy
I see.
(http://images.clipartpanda.com/football-player-clipart-zyTkdMEiE.jpeg)
It looks like there's a three-fingered hand holding a cow skull attached to his bicep.
That. . . Is some imagination.
Do you see it?
No.
His right arm. Somebody tell me they see it?
I can see it, only because you pointed it out to me.
Still don't. :(
Quote from: Russa Nodrey on April 20, 2018, 11:23:16 PM
His right arm. Somebody tell me they see it?
Kind of? Is the skull part of his hand?
Yup.
Of all the things . . .
;D
Someone circle it for me.
:P
Quote from: Ashleg on April 21, 2018, 04:15:51 PM
Someone circle it for me.
Here you go.
(https://i.pinimg.com/564x/7c/87/26/7c87265ebafecc0db1bd8b7d1285a463.jpg)
...
;D
*squints*
That's one TINY cow.
Indeed.
Also,
@Lady Amber , the ocean is in fact far from desolate and uninhabited. Reefs, for example, are thriving ecosystems, and even the darkest abysses of the ocean have life. There are more species in the ocean than on land.
Huh?
The poll.
Ah.
I dunno, I just thought of writing that randomly.
I wasn't seeing it that way.
The cow?
Yeah. . . It was a little larger and more lopsided.
Show us your cow!
I don't have the technology.
I just colored mine with a basic paint program and then put it on Pinterest. :P
I'm too lazy.
Hi, Toolazy! I'm Russa. *Waves*
;D
Heh.
HEH HEH? HEH HEH HEH? HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH?
(https://media.giphy.com/media/l4pSX8SejRHibyVTG/giphy.gif)
Ruined.
Destroyed.
Healed.
Disgusting.
Like your mama. OHHHHHHHHHHHHH BURN!
You fiend!
You friend!
(https://style.disney.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/Belle-shocked-GIF.gif)
Literally the best show in the world.