This is a backwards CYOA, where instead of me creating scenarios and you guys telling me what to do, you post scenarios and I'll pick which way the story is going to go. ;D
Alright. I can't start it, of course...
I'm not going to do this, but it's a cool idea ;D
There was a man named Bob, who dreamed of eating the ultimate pizza. Unfortunately, he had a problem: he was allergic to tomato sauce. So, he decided to:
Call his mother to ask her to make a pizza with no tomato sauce.
Call the pizza place and place a special order.
Make his own pizza.
He decided to call his mother.
After a couple of rings, she answered. After Bob placed his request, his mother replied, "Well now son, you're a grown man living in your own house and really ought to handle these things on your own. I won't always be here to do these things for you and it's important that you get used to that. Besides, there's a ladies' event to make pizza for so I don't have time right now anyway. But if it's important to you, I'll be sure to make it for Thanksgiving."
Bob heard the distinct sound of a smoke alarm in the background over the phone.
"I gotta run; be good, Bobby. Bye!"
Bob decided to:
Call the pizza place and make a special order.
Make his own pizza.
Wait until Thanksgiving.
Call the fire department.
Drive over to his parents' house.
Drive over to his parents' house.
Jumping off of his couch Bob grabbed his keys and wallet and headed towards his apartment's landing. He lived on the eighteenth floor, and he usually took the elevator down to the parking lot. Today it seemed, he was out of luck. Sitting at the elevators was a repair technician who had just stamped a Out of order sign on the door.
The technician opened the doors to the stairs and started down, but Bob hesitated. Maybe the elevator was just squeaky, and not actually out of order. He wasn't feeling very motivated today, and the elevator would be so much easier. A cool breeze flowed in from a nearby open window, giving Bob a refreshing breath of fresh air as he considered his options.
Work up the self confidence and take the stairs
YOLO it, and take the elevator.
Tear up the out of order sign.
Jump out of the open window.
Ask the technician if the elevator is safe.
Tear up the out of order sign.
Bob waited until the technician could no longer see him, then snatched the out of order sign from the elevator doors, went back inside his apartment, and put the sign through his paper shredder.
Work up the self confidence and take the stairs
YOLO it, and take the elevator.
Jump out of the open window.
Ask the technician if the elevator is safe.
Forget it, go back inside and have a sandwich instead.
Take the elevator and YOLO.
Bob stepped into the elevator. Were it not for the gaping hole in the floor revealing the shaft below, it would seem to be another normal day. Stepping carefully to the side the furthest away from the hole, Bob pressed the button for the lobby floor.
Going down!
Stand silently and stare at the door.
Look at the hole in the floor.
Jump up and down.
Pray.
Jump up and down.
Bob has problems.
Deciding to work out his fat-shame for not just taking the stairs, Bob began to jump up and down causing the elevator to rattle like a Mexican jumping bean. After about two floors the entire thing shut down and the lights went out leaving Bob in semi-darkness.
PANIC!
Yell for help.
Drop down the hole in the elevator.
Start pushing random buttons on the control panel.
Drop down the hole in the elevator.
Following an insane impulse, Bob decided to jump down the hole in the elevator. As can be expected, he fell straight to the bottom of the shaft and hit the ground with a terrible impact.
Lying there on the ground in the dark with countless bones broken, Bob's last thought before blacking out from the pain was, "Maybe I shouldn't have jumped down that hole in the elevator."
Die.
Fall into a coma.
Fall unconscious.
Wake up.
Fall unconscious
The next few hours after the terrible fall are fuzzy and uncertain. Bob thought he heard the sound of sirens, and maybe the sound of his mother's voice, then the thunder of a helicopter, all blurred together with flashes of red, green, and blue.
Days later Bob wakes up feeling absolutely horrible, finding himself in a hospital bed, dressed in a gown and covered in bandages. It appears to be night, as the alarm clock next to the bed says the hour is 2:00 AM Central Time, while the phone next to your bed says its 2:02 AM.
Try to stand up.
Shout for a nurse.
Go back to sleep.
Use the phone to call the pizza delivery place.
Adjust the clocks' time.
Use the phone to call the pizza delivery service.
I'm just imagining if this guy was real and it's killing me...
Bob attempted to reach for the phone, but quickly found himself encumbered. There was a cast and medical tape blocking his movement. Both arms and legs were wrapped up like this.
Cry.
Try to take off the tape.
Yell "ROOM SERVICE".
Cry!
Waking up in a hospital bed, and being bandaged, taped, and casted up were one thing, but the lack of the chance to get pizza was too much. Bob succumbed to the pain and frustration and broke down in tears. Unfortunately, given that he had several broken ribs, this only made him hurt all the more. Bob let out an involuntary cry of pain.
A nurse was apparently nearby, and came running. She looked down at her patient with deep concern and asked "Does it hurt?"
Ask for pizza.
Ask what happened.
Ask where you are.
Ask for more painkiller.
Ask for a new life.
Ask for Pizza.
The nurse let out an involuntary giggle, but her expression turned serious. "Sir, I don't want to be the one to bring you the bad news, but you're not going to be able to eat pizza for some time. You broke a few bones, including your jaw. You need to rest up now. You'll be back to health sooner than you know it!"
Ask what happened.
Ask where you are.
Ask for more painkiller.
Ask for a new life.
Rest up now.
Ask for a new life.
With the broken jaw and medication, Bob's speech was slurred and blurred. "May I...'ave ...'ew... wife?"
The nurse's eyes widened, then went soft with emotion (the product of a combination of an unfounded fear of being an old maid and the Florence Nightingale effect on steroids). She delicately took one of Bob's cast-covered hands in both of her smaller ones. Her voice as melodiously sweet as a million mockingbirds, she said: "Yes! We can do it right away if you want. Should I call the chaplain?"
Blink.
Nod dumbly.
Groan.
Nod dumbly.
The nurse's smile could have lit up the world. "Perfect! I'll go get him right away, dearest. Don't go anywhere!" She kissed Bob's cheek and practically skipped out of the room (as carefully as a practicing nurse can).
Just a moment after she left, someone else walked into the room. It was...
Bob's mother.
A doctor.
Somebody Bob vaguely thought he remembered seeing one time at his sister's cousin's wedding.
Captain Planet.
Captain Planet.
Captain Planet stormed dramatically into the room, threw a salute, and boomed through the fourth wall, "Remember, kids, work together to save the environment and you too can be superheroes! The Power Is YOURS!" Then he disappeared into thin air, like a contrived story element being retconned out of the plot.
After this surprising yet unproductive event, Bob fell into a light doze. He woke up a few minutes later when his fiance brushed his hand with hers. "The minister's here; we just have to sign this paper and say the vows! I know your name's Bob, sweetheart, but what's your last name?"
(Give an answer.)
"Bobiston."
"Thanks, dear. All right, we're ready to begin the vows."
The minister cleared his throat. "We are gathered here to unite these two hearts in the bonds of holy matrimony. Into this, these two now come to be joined."
"Bob Bobiston, will you have this woman as your lawful wedded partner, to live together in the estate of matrimony? Will you love her, honor her, comfort her, and keep her in sickness and in health; forsaking all others, be true to her as long as you both shall live?"
Bob's gaze shifted up to his beautiful nurse fiance -- whose name he didn't even know -- and realized that even though he had only met her five minutes ago, he could never let her down.
"I will."
"I surely will!"
"Absolutely!"
"Yes!"
Yes.
The minister turns to the nurse.
"And do you, Kate Kateston, take this man as your lawful wedde-"
"YES!"
"Well that was rude... Very well. You may kiss the bride."
Kiss your wife.
Do not kiss your wife.
Get triggered because the last two options refers to "wife" and not "genderfluid matrimonal partner."
Ask where the pizza is.
Ask where pizza is.
You whimper slightly.
"Where's the pizza?"
Your wife shushes you.
"At the reception, darling. KISS ME ALREADY!"
Kiss your wife.
Do not kiss your wife.
Get triggered because the last two options refers to "wife" and not "genderfluid matrimonal partner."
Kiss your wife :"0
With Bob's neck being taped up, it wasn't easy for him to move his head to meet his wife's, but she came the rest of the way and they shared their first kiss together. Kate whispered, "My middle name's Marilla, by the way."
Only a second later, however, the two heard a voice that was familiar to Bob. "What's going on?"
It was Bob's mother.
Answer her.
Remain silent.
Remain silent.
RIP Bob Bobiston 2016-2016. :'(
Bob's wife/the nurse ignored Bob's mother; her husband's sudden silence was rather worrying. She felt his pulse; it was nonexistent.
"I think he's gone," she said simply.
Bob: return to life
Bob's wife: cry
Bob's wife: rejoice over the fact she just inherited all of Bob's possessions
Bob's mother: cry
Bob's mother: shout at the nurse
Bob; return to life.
Quite some time passed, as Bob laid on the bed apparently dead, and Bob's family reacted as one would expect one's mother and widow to behave. The chaplain was brought back in, and they began making arrangements to take Bob's body to the morgue. Right before Bob's body was lifted out of the bed, however, he stirred, like a month-inactive-topic being brought back to life, and spoke these words:
"I have returned."
"What's going on?"
"Mind the door."
"Get the pizza in the oven and set it to 400 degrees."
"Get the pizza in the oven and set it to 400 degrees."
Bob's mother twitches.
"Is that all you can think of, Bob? We thought you were dead."
"Pizza!"
Kate approached her husband.
"Honey... You can have pizza later, okay? It's just... This is a lot to take in."
The hint of a grin flashes across her face, but disappears as quickly as it came.
"Alright, Bob. Come on. Let's go get pizza."
Bob's mother shrieks.
"NO! Don't go with that, that, that..."
Everybody in the funeral parlor glares at your mother.
"Bobby... Just trust your mother this time, okay?"
"Pizza?"
"No, Bobby. Pizza later. Come home, Bobby. I miss you."
Bob: Go get pizza with your wife.
Bob: Go home with your mother (and miss out on pizza).
The nurse and ex-widow immediately dropped Bob and followed through with his orders, forgetting that the giant weight they were carrying was in fact, Bob. He falls and breaks his spine into a 90 degree angle.
Bob's nurse: cry
Bob's Ex-ex-widow: cry
Bob's mother: cry
Bob: cry
EDIT: Darn too slow
Quote from: Groddil on January 31, 2017, 12:27:58 AM
Bob's mother twitches.
"Is that all you can think of, Bob? We thought you were dead."
"Pizza!"
Kate approached her husband.
"Honey... You can have pizza later, okay? It's just... This is a lot to take in."
The hint of a grin flashes across her face, but disappears as quickly as it came.
"Alright, Bob. Come on. Let's go get pizza."
Bob's mother shrieks.
"NO! Don't go with that, that, that..."
Everybody in the funeral parlor glares at your mother.
"Bobby... Just trust your mother this time, okay?"
"Pizza?"
"No, Bobby. Pizza later. Come home, Bobby. I miss you."
Bob: Go get pizza with your wife.
Bob: Go home with your mother (and miss out on pizza).
Going with this one because it's about time we stop trying to kill Bob.
Better luck next time, Rosie.
Option one: Go get pizza with your wife.
QuoteGoing with this one because it's about time we stop trying to kill Bob. Wrong choice.
Bob ignores his mother, following Kate out of the funeral parlor. She unlocks her car, a little Toyota Prius, and clambers into the drivers seat. Strangely, the front seat is taken up by several things. A hacksaw, a garbage bag, and a salt shaker. Curious. Bob jumps into the back seat and does his seatbelt up. The drive to Kate's home is quiet. Kate says nothing, and her car has no radio. Soon, Bob begins to whimper.
"Pizza."
"Wait."
Eventually, the little car pulls into the driveway of a small, one-story brick bungalow.
"Come on, honey."
Like a dog, Bob follows Kate's heels. She turns the lock and shoves Bob inside.
"There's pizza in the fridge, honey. Put it in the microwave for thirty seconds. I'll be there in just a second..."
Bob walks over to the fridge. Upon opening the door, he is hit with a disgusting smell, and gags. Flesh, discarded limbs, and bags of blood fill the fridge. Bob, terrified, runs towards the door, but is stopped by Kate.
"Oh, honey... You found out my dirty little secret, huh? Sorry our marriage failed so early."
Kate grabs a meat cleaver from the table and hacks. Bleeding heavily from the throat, Bob falls to the ground in a heap.
"And now I have to clean up all this blood. HOW WONDERFUL. You better be nice and filling... Hmm. Forgotten his name."
Kate: Eat Bob.
Bob's Mother: Burst through the door and shoot Kate in the face with a triple-barreled shotgun.
Bob: Have the atomic bomb inside your stomach explode and flatten the entire city.
This path can't be canon, since Bob is still immobile from all the broken skeleton and can't follow anyone anywhere (nor has he even made it to the funeral parlor; they didn't get him out of the hospital door).
Besides, we like Bob. :D
I choose option 4: Stop trying to kill Bob and get the gosh darn pizza for the poor guy.
Right before Bob's body was lifted out of the bed, however, he stirred, like a month-inactive-topic being brought back to life, and spoke these words:
"Get the pizza in the oven and set it to 400 degrees."
Bob's mother twitched.
"Is that all you can think of, Bob? We thought you were dead."
"Pizza!"
The hint of a grin flashed across Kate's face, but disappeared as quickly as it came. She approached her husband.
"Honey... You can have pizza later, okay? It's just... This is a lot to take in. Besides, like I told you earlier, your jaw is broken. You can't have any pizza right now. But if you rest up and get better, you'll be back to it in no time."
"PIZZA"
Katherine Marilla Bobiston sighed. She looked imploringly over to her mother-in-law (who was not yet aware of their relationship). "Do you know of anything he might like that would do the trick?"
Bob's mother: "I have some pizza-flavored ice cream in the freezer back at the house."
Bob's mother: "We could put a pizza in the blender?"
Bob's mother: "I have some pizza-flavored breath spray in my purse."
Bob's mother: "No. Sorry, dearie. He's always been like this."
Second one.
"We could put a pizza in the blender?"
Kate looked somewhat doubtful. "That doesn't sound very good to me..."
"PIIIIZZZZZZAAAAAAA"
"...but I guess it couldn't hurt. What kind of pizza and where should we get it?"
"It doesn't matter what kind, dearie," said Bob's mother. "So long as it doesn't have tomato sauce, because Bob is allergic. It would probably be cheapest if I went home and made them myself. I have plenty of ingredients."
Kate: "I know a great pizza & deli down a couple of blocks that sell custom pizzas; that might be quicker."
Kate: "All right, that sounds good."
First one.
Because Bob only likes his mom's pizza
"I know a great pizza & deli down a couple of blocks that sell custom pizzas; that might be quicker."
Bob's mother smiled wanly. "If that's what you want to do, dear. But I will warn you; Bobby is very picky about what he likes to eat. I'd recommend you get the ingredients separate from the pie and put them on the pizza here."
Kate grinned. "All right. I'm off my shift now, so I'll head out and be back in a flash!"
Bob's mother sighed after Kate left the room. "Poor girl has no idea what she's getting into..."
Kate drove over and quickly arrived at Chicago Joe's Pizza and Deli. She was a regular there, so the manager greeted her warmly. "What are you looking for today, Kate?" After Kate explained what she was looking for, the manager said, "Well, we can bake up the crust for you and you can put the other stuff on there later, if you like. Can't promise it'll be as good, but that's the way it goes. Do you want the cheese baked on?
Kate: "Yes, please."
Kate: "No, it might be better to get the cheese separately."
After answering, the manager showed her the ingredients they have available. "We've had a very busy day today. All we've got left is pepperoni, pineapple, peppers, onions, and mushrooms. What would you like?"
(Give an answer.)
Option two, and then...
Kate, being a health nut, leaned forward on the counter and said, "Load it up with pineapple."
Kate, being a health nut, leaned forward on the counter and said, "Load it up with pineapple."
The manager nodded. "Bunch of pineapple...we'll get a bag of that for you right away. Anything else?"
Kate: No, that'll do it.
Kate: Yes, actually... (give an answer.)
No, that'll do it.
"No, that'll do it."
"All right. For the pie and the pineapples, that'll be $12.95. Thanks for dropping in, Kate; see you next time!"
Kate paid and went back to the hospital with her cargo. There was a blender in the staff kitchen, which she often used to blend smoothies, so she decided to take advantage of it for this job. First, she...
Cut the pizza into slices.
Put pieces of pineapple all over the pizza.
Put cheese all over the pizza.
Put the entire pizza in the blender.
PIZZA!
Quote from: Hickory on March 10, 2017, 11:48:55 PM
@Chipster of Noonvale Ashleg chooses.
I know, I was just bumping the thread ;D Also "PIZZA!" could be used to describe any of the four choices James provided ;D
Bump.
Quote from: James Gryphon on February 08, 2017, 12:19:59 AM
"No, that'll do it."
"All right. For the pie and the pineapples, that'll be $12.95. Thanks for dropping in, Kate; see you next time!"
Kate paid and went back to the hospital with her cargo. There was a blender in the staff kitchen, which she often used to blend smoothies, so she decided to take advantage of it for this job. First, she...
Cut the pizza into slices.
Put pieces of pineapple all over the pizza.
Put cheese all over the pizza.
Put the entire pizza in the blender.
Put pieces of pineapple all over the pizza.
Pineapple-pizza-pen.
Done!
Then she...
Cut the pizza into slices.
Put cheese all over the pizza.
Put the entire pizza in the blender.
Put cheese all over the pizza.
Kate opened up her bag of shredded cheese and distributed the contents relatively evenly over the top of the pizza. It was still warm, and the cheese began to melt into place.
Cut the pizza into slices.
Put the entire pizza in the blender.
Put the pizza in the oven.
Put the pizza in the microwave.
Put the pizza in the blender.
Kate plugged the blender into the wall socket and forced the pizza inside. How? With great difficulty. She flicked the switch to the highest setting and covered the blender with a hand to prevent the lid from flying off. When the pizza had become a slightly lumpy paste, she unplugged the blender and poured the "pizza" into a bowl.
Put the pizza in the oven.
Put the pizza in the microwave.
Put the pizza in the microrave, a box containing a nightclub full of tiny people.
Deliver the pizza raw.
Put the pizza in the microrave, a box containing a nightclub full of tiny people.
Without a moment of consideration Kate dropped the bowl of pizza mush into the box abruptly ending the awesome rave going on inside. The bowl shattered upon impact flooding the interior of the microrave with pizza goodness causing code four tsunami-like destruction.
The survivors cling to makeshift matchstick driftwood squealing for aid.
Save what survivors you can.
Cause more destruction and purposely drown the remaining tiny people.
Ignore them and start work on a new pizza.
Put the microrave box in the oven.
Shove the microrave into the microwave.
Put the microrave box into the oven.
Kate placed the remains of the miniature nightclub into her oven, drowning out the screams of the tiny people.
Turn the oven to 180 degrees Celsius.
Turn the oven to 300 degrees Celsius.
Turn the oven to 'Grill' mode.
Take the box out of the oven.
300 degrees.
You turn the oven to 300 degrees Celsius.
Spray the Microrave with Canola Oil.
Let the Microrave cook.
Canola oil.
Kate takes the can of Canola Oil from her cupboard, shakes it up, and sprays it into the oven. Just as the cardboard box catches fire. The spray of oil catches fire, causing the can to explode. The entire room implodes into a fiery ball of death, engulfing Kate, the microrave, and the pizza sludge. Luckily, the sludge is hardened by the heat into a delicious-looking pizza. Unluckily, the entire hospital catches fire.
You are now a young child named Timmy, who lives next door to the hospital. You are in your room doing nothing much in particular when a shockwave knocks you from your chair. You peer out your window at the burning hospital. You have to do something!
Leave your room through the door.
Leave your room through the window.
Call the fire brigade.
Thanks for reviving Ashleg :)
I'm sorry, Groddil, but that can't work: Kate is not at home, but in the hospital kitchen.
The whole Microrave plot is rather funny though ;)
I thought she was at home.
Edited.
Call the fire brigade because you keep trying to murder Bob but I tell you Bob is not going to die.
Quote from: Ashleg on April 20, 2017, 03:46:09 AM
Call the fire brigade because you keep trying to murder Bob but I tell you Bob is not going to die.
Except I never said Bob is dead.
You grab your phone from its charger and press the start button. Nothing happens. You notice the phone charger was turned off.
"Ah, bad stuff."
Jump out the window.
Steal Dad's phone.
Steal Mom's phone.
Jump!
You clamber out your window and slide down the drainpipe. You make for the gate, but it seems like Uncle Groddil's been watering his geraniums a little too much, as the plants have blocked your escape route. One of them growls at you, its tendrils waving menacingly.
Try to get past.
Say 'Nice plant.'
Go to the shed.
Try to get past.
You try to get past the plant by jumping over it. It grabs one of your shoes, but you are unharmed.
There's a phone booth over there, call the fire brigade.
Talk to that stranger over there, he might be able to help.
Run to the hospital to try to save the people inside.
Quote from: Chipster of Noonvale on April 21, 2017, 02:12:43 AM
You try to get past the plant by jumping over it.
You clearly have never come face to face with my geraniums...
Talk to the stranger.
You jog over towards the strange man standing on the roadside. He glances at his watch and grumbles, knuckles going white as he tightens his grip on his suitcase.
"Sir! Sir! Can you help? The hospital! The fire!"
The man glares at you.
"Foolish child! Can't you see I'm busy?"
"With what? What could be more important than the hospital!"
He taps his suitcase.
"My time machine prototype. I have been observing this situation with great interest. This imbecile known as "Bob" has proven the perfect test subject. What better way to test the prototype than by meddling with a fool?"
"What do you mean mister?"
"Well, I believe he may be the basis for my Doctorate. My Nobel Prize, even. I have managed to change so much simply through one small change. Amazing, really."
"What small change is that?"
"Oh, quite simple. Bob woke up wanting pizza. I stole the leftover pizza he had from the night previous. The confusion and hunger made his already unstable brain even weaker. Now ENOUGH! Any more, and you'll steal my ideas. I cannot believe I've been fooled into talking with you. Idiot child! Now I'll have to go back and fix this as well. GOOD DAY SIR!"
The man disappears.
What do you do?
Timmy runs to the nearest Walgreens to get himself some pills because he thinks he's going crazy.
Dashing through a nearby Walgreens' door Timmy makes his way to the back counter ringing the bell furiously. After a long interval an elderly lady with the "Walgreens manager" tag on her shirt wanders over from the back room and smiles, a little too sweetly at Timmy.
"WHY HELLO LITTLE BOY!" She screams at the top of her lungs, obviously her hearing aids have stopped working. It must have been pure luck that she happened upon Timmy, as the service bell certainly wasn't what brought her over. "HOW MAY I HELP YOU THIS FINE Day?"
Ask for sanity pills.
Request she lowers her voice.
Plead for help with the hospital.
Stare at her blankly.
Ask for sanity pills.
"THOSE ARE ON AISLE 5 NEXT TO THE - "
"Thank you!" Run to Aisle 5.
Wait for her to finish her sentence.
Scream.
Bob: Wake up.
Run to aisle 5.
"Thank you!"
Timmy runs to aisle 5, narrowly avoiding turning over someone's cart, and finds the pills he's looking for, right next to the vitamin-S.
Get the bottle of sanity pills and go to the checkout counter.
Open the bottle of sanity pills and start taking pills.
Take both bottles to the checkout counter.
Open both bottles and start taking some of each.
Open the bottle of vitamin-S and start taking pills.
Jump up and down.
Jump.
Timmy jumps up and down. Unfortunately, someone waxed the floor. He falls down on the ground, and cracks his head on something. Everything goes black.
Quite some time later, Timmy wakes up in a hospital room. The room is empty except for a man lying asleep in another bed across the room.
Timmy: Sing.
Timmy: Shout for room service.
Timmy: Jump up out of bed.
Timmy: Play with the buttons on the bed's remote control.
Timmy: Greet the sleeping stranger.
Play with the buttons!
Timmy starts pressing buttons. The bed goes up. The bed goes down. The bed goes up. The bed goes down. The bed goes up -- whoops, red light goes on. That must be the call nurse button.
A few moments pass and a frazzled, tired-looking young lady with reddish skin comes running into the room. She briefly looks over at the bed with the man in it, smiles, then turns to Timmy and does her best impression of a lady who's fresh, energetic, and happy to be around kids.
"Hello, I'm Kate and I'll be your nurse for the next little while. What's wrong?"
Timmy: "Why's your skin so red?"
Timmy: "I was playing with the buttons and the light came on."
Timmy: "My toe hurts."
Timmy: "My head hurts."
Stranger in bed: "PIZZA"
Stranger in bed: "PIZZA."
Kate closes her eyes and sighs. "Not right now, love. The last time you asked I got thrown into an alternate dimension, was forced to watch while my doppelganger nearly blew up the hospital, and came back in just enough time to nearly get turned into Krispy Kate. True story. Good thing for stop drop and roll eh. And now that I'm out of the office with burn treatments it's my shift again so I don't have time to get you any more mashed pizza. I think your mother said something about making some and bringing it here, though."
The nurse glanced back over at Timmy. "Do you need anything, dear?"
Timmy: "My head hurts."
Timmy: "Where's my mother?"
Bob: "PIIIZZZAAA"
Timmy: "PIIIZZZAAA"
Timmy: "PIIIZZZAAA."
"PIIIZZZAAA"
Kate stops, and looks at Timmy with an expression of existential despair.
With superhuman nerve she steels up an overdone fake smile and replies. "I don't think we have any of that right now, honey, what with the kitchen and cafeteria being burned down, but I'll let the lunch staff know about your request as soon as possible. Is that all? Okay, great, see you again soon dear."
Before anyone has the chance to say anything more Kate hurriedly makes her exit.
Timmy looks at Bob. Bob moves his eyes to look at Timmy.
Timmy: Hi.
Timmy: How'd you get in all those casts?
Timmy: Play with the "Call Nurse" button on the remote control.
Timmy: Hop out of bed.
Timmy: "HI."
"HI!"
Bob winces. "'uiet down kid, my head's killin' me."
Timmy: Quiet down: "I'm sorry mister. Hi."
Timmy: Hop out of bed.
Timmy: "But we were both screaming just a moment ago?"
Timmy: "How'd you get in all those casts?"
Timmy: "I'M SORRY MISTER!"
Tommy frowns, "But we were both screaming just a moment ago?"
Timmy frowns. "But we were both just screaming a moment ago?"
"Pizza is worth the pain."
Timmy: "Oh."
Timmy: Hop out of bed.
Timmy: "How'd you get in all those casts?"
Bob: "Pizza..."
Someone at the door peeks in.
Hop out of bed.
Timmy hopped out of the bed, relatively unharmed aside from a headache.
"Hmm, 'spose I could try and find some pizza. I am hungry."
"Pizza."
Bob stares at a leather-bound wallet sitting next to the bed. Timmy stuffs it into his pocket and heads for the door. Or does he?
Timmy: Leave through the door.
Timmy: Climb out the window.
Timmy: Investigate the closet.
Investigate the closet!
SOMEBODY HELP HIM INVESTIGATE THE CLOSET GOSH DIDDLY DARN IT
Timmy cast a brief glance at a door near the back of the room. He opened it. It was a closet, and inside he saw...
...a pizza.
...a pile of various objects that collapses on him.
...surgical equipment.
...a corpse.
A CORPSE!
@Ashleg THIS IS THE BEST THREAD ON THE FORUM EVER!!!
Inside Timmy saw a corpse, standing upright, leaning against the back wall. Flies and other insects were crawling all over it, and the smell was horrible.
Scream.
Ring for a nurse.
"What are you doing in the closet mister?"
Close closet door and run out of the hospital room, since there clearly isn't any pizza in the closet.
((Thanks! Tchh.))
"What are you doing in the closet, Mister?"
"What are you doing in the closet, Mister?" asked Timmy.
"Oh, nothing much. Just standing here being dead," the dead body said.
Scream.
Close closet door and run out of the hospital room, since there clearly isn't any pizza in the closet.
"Cool. Got any pizza?"
"Cool. Got any pizza?"
Timmy was unperturbed. "Cool. Got any pizza?"
"Not on me. I do have a coupon in my wallet, though. You might as well have it, but if you want it you'll have to get it; I can't really reach it right now."
Search the body for the wallet.
Ring a nurse.
Look for some gloves.
Close closet door and run out of the hospital room, since there clearly isn't any pizza in the closet.
Search the body for the wallet.
Timmy finally discovered the wallet in the pants' pocket, along with a vintage pocket watch and a set of car keys. Opening the wallet, he found three credit cards, at least 100$ in cash, a membership card to a local library and, finally, the pizza coupon. As he took a closer look, however, Timmy realized that it had expired the previous day.
"It's expired. What do I do?"
"Could I also take your money? I don't see how you could spend it, since you're dead..."
Steal the wallet, close the closet door and run out of the hospital room to get pizza.
Put the wallet back in the pocket, close the closet door and run out of the hospital room, since there clearly isn't any pizza in the closet.
Steal the wallet, close the closet door, and run out of the hospital room to get pizza.
Timmy seemed to go into a trance at the sight of all this money. He had never seen so much money before. For years he had been keeping pennies, nickels and dimes in glass jars. One of these bills must be worth more than all his jars!
He quickly thought over his options. He desperately wanted the money, but that would be stealing. However, that guy in the closet was dead. It's not like he would have any use for it, being dead and all...
"Thanks mister!" he shouted, before slamming the door and running out of the hospital room. "I'll be right back!" he said as he ran past Bob's bed.
Go to the library.
Go to the school cafeteria to get pizza.
Go to the pizzeria that issued the coupon.
Ask that guy on a stretcher over there where you can get pizza.
Go to the pizzeria that issued the coupon.
Every once in a while, I look through my old posts, and stumble upon this thread. I read it again, and it's one of the funniest in the entire forum. So I bump it.
Also, I'm feeling sorry for that guy Bob who's been waiting almost two years for that pizza...Timmy ran down the stairs and out of the hospital's main entrance. The pizzeria that issued the coupon was a few streets away.
WalkCall a UberHijack an ambulance@Ashleg
Timmy had a good idea! He decided to hijack a random ambulance.
Timmy found an ambulance further away; a patient was being offloaded. He walked over to the vehicle and jumped in through the open door.
Timmy had always been a fan of racing video games, and he felt extremely excited at the prospect of attempting it in real life. He briefly wondered whether he might get arrested, but whatever, YOLO. He slammed on the gas pedal and the vehicle raced away from the hospital.
Just a few minutes later, the pizzeria was in sight.
Crash into the building
Crash into the owner's car in the parking lot
Crash into a fire hydrant
Somehow park without having an accident
Somehow park without having an accident
Quote from: Nadaz, voice of the host on September 05, 2018, 11:18:29 PM
Somehow park without having an accident
I was going to pick this one too, but, Nadaz, that's not how this thread works. All of you guys who want to participate write the story, I pick the answers!
Timmy tried to stop, but was unable to: his legs were too short to reach the brakes. Desperate to avoid an accident, he jumped off his seat, landing the both pedals. He curled up into a ball, bracing for the inevitable accident...
...but nothing happened. He got back up and saw that the ambulance had miraculously stopped just in front of the pizzeria, without even touching the car next to it. Grateful to be alive, Timmy hopped out of the vehicle and ran inside the building.
"How may I help you?" the guy behind the counter asked.
"I have a coupon for free pizza," Timmy said, handing him the coupon.
"It's expired."
Use the credit cards from the dead guy's wallet to buy pizza
Ask for expired pizza
Start shouting and swearing at the employee
Ask to see the manager
Leave
Use the dead guy's credit cards.
Timmy felt disappointed. He drove all the way to the pizzeria for nothing. He reached into his pocket for a tissue to wipe his nose, when he felt something rigid. Pulling it out, he realized that it was the wallet he had borrowed from the dead guy in the closet back at the hospital. He pulled out a credit card and placed it on the counter.
"Give me pizza."
The employee picked up the card and carefully inspected it to make sure it was the real thing and not a toy.
"Is this yours?"
"Yup. There's plenty more where that came from."
"What do you care? Just give me some pizza."
"No, I got it from a dead guy at the hospital."
"Yup! There's plenty more where that came from."
The employee was taken aback. Just where did this kid get all these credit cards? Was he a pickpocket? A mobster's son? He was almost afraid to ask any further questions.
"Uh...well...what will you have?"
"Pizza, of course!"
"Whatever's cheapest."
"I'll let you decide."
"EVERYTHING!!!"
Look at the menu on the wall and point at a random entry
"Pizza, of course!"
"Uh, of course, I mean, uh..."
Under ordinary circumstances, the employee would have asked "what type of pizza?" but he wanted this crazy kid out of his store as soon as possible. He picked up a nearby pizza box and opened it to show its contents to Timmy. The pizza had three toppings: cheese, tomato sauce and pepperoni.
"Is this satisfactory?" he asked.
"Yes!"
"Speeew! That stinks!"
"I want MORE!!"
"Speeew! That stinks!"
This answer terrified the employee. This crazy kid was awfully hard to please. He had to find some way of getting them out of there, when suddenly an idea came into his mind. He walked into another room, and came back a few minutes later holding a large pile of pizza boxes, which he placed on the counter.
"Twenty pizzas, and they're all yours if you want them. What do you say?"
Accept the pizzas
Reject the pizzas
Knock the pizzas down
KNock them DOwn.