Welcome to McDelthion's, may I take your order?
Hmm, we appear to be out of fries.
/me tosses Skarzs into the chip frier.
With a potato of that size, we'll have enough fries to feed the whole forum for weeks! Except guests. Deadbeats.
Hello, could I have a Whooper meal? With large fries and a root beer to go, please.
We don't sell "Whoopers" or root beer. But here's the fries.
/me chops several strips of flesh from Skarzs's head, which is trapped in the frier.
"That'll be... Uh... 1 post in the Forum CYOA, please. Plus $0.10 tax."
/me opens up his wallet and starts digging around
I guess I left my card at home. So, I can't afford this. Does anyone have some change?
THERE. I POSTED. YOUR FRIES ARE TAX FREE. NOW POST!
I want to talk to the manager!
Why? So you can complain that you ordered a hamburger with cheese but the worker drone put it through as a cheeseburger?
Too bad! I am the manager! Leave my poor little worker drones alone!
I actually just wanted to throw my over-priced soda at you :P
Overpriced? It's costs a dollar for a large frozen coke, what're you on about? Worker drones, attack!
Quote from: Groddil on March 21, 2017, 03:45:01 AM
/me chops several strips of flesh from Skarzs's head, which is trapped in the frier.
. . .
/me jumps behind the counter and stands in front of a cash register/ordering machine thingy*
I can help anyone who's ready to order!
Quote from: Groddil on March 21, 2017, 09:10:40 AM
Overpriced? It's costs a dollar for a large frozen coke, what're you on about? Worker drones, attack!
That's like $17 for me. So there :P
Can I have a Grand Slamwich?
I'm sueing this establishment for cannibalism.
Well of course there's cannibalism. What did you expect? It's called McDelthion's, after all.
/me hands Inq a Grand Slamwich along with some Skarzs fries*
Enjoy!
WE DONT SELL GRAND SLAMWICCHS!
/me takes that right back.
Oh, and this is not cannibalism. We are eating a humanoid potato, not a human being.
Quote from: Groddil on March 21, 2017, 08:24:40 PM
WE DONT SELL GRAND SLAMWICCHS!
/me takes that right back.
Well then, what do we sell? We need a menu.
(I didn't even know a Grand Slamwich was a thing until now.)
Quote from: Groddil on March 21, 2017, 08:24:40 PM
WE DONT SELL GRAND SLAMWICCHS!
/me takes that right back.
Oh, and this is not cannibalism. We are eating a humanoid potato, not a human being.
YOU'RE EATING
ME!
Quote from: Groddil on March 21, 2017, 08:24:40 PM
WE DONT SELL GRAND SLAMWICCHS!
/me takes that right back.
But they're soooooooo popular.
I'll take fifty two orders of Skarzs fries. All large.
Hello I'd like a job are you hiring
I'd like to imagine the symbol for this place as two lampshades side by side to make a really deformed M.
Quote from: Inquisitor on March 21, 2017, 09:48:33 PM
Quote from: Groddil on March 21, 2017, 08:24:40 PM
WE DONT SELL GRAND SLAMWICCHS!
/me takes that right back.
But they're soooooooo popular.
What? In Burger King, probably. There's no such thing as a 'Grand Slamwich' at McDelthion's!
Quote from: LT Sandpaw on March 21, 2017, 10:10:44 PM
I'll take fifty two orders of Skarzs fries. All large.
Rest in peace, worker drones. Coming right up!
Quote from: Aimless Gallivanter on March 21, 2017, 10:31:28 PM
Hello I'd like a job are you hiring
We always need more worker drones.
Quote from: Gonff the Mousethief on March 21, 2017, 10:45:11 PM
I'd like to imagine the symbol for this place as two lampshades side by side to make a really deformed M.
How did you guess?
*Starts making Skarzs fries*
Quote from: Skarzs on March 21, 2017, 09:40:50 PM
Quote from: Groddil on March 21, 2017, 08:24:40 PM
WE DONT SELL GRAND SLAMWICCHS!
/me takes that right back.
Oh, and this is not cannibalism. We are eating a humanoid potato, not a human being.
YOU'RE EATING ME!
YOU'RE A POTATO WITH LEGS!
@Lady Amber:
Here's the menu. Learn it. As you can see, there is no 'Grand Slamwich.'
Here! (https://mcdonalds.com.au/menu)
All right then. *Starts making stuff*
I still think it's heresy that Aussies call it Macca's.
Quote from: Jukka the Sling on March 22, 2017, 01:20:11 AM
I still think it's heresy that Aussies call it Macca's.
I know, right? XD
That's it's official name down here! EVEN IN ADVERTISING AND THE WEBSITE!
/me shoots Jukka with a Big Mac Sauce squirt gun.
Should call it Macco's, mate.Quote from: Groddil on March 22, 2017, 12:52:31 AM
Quote from: Skarzs on March 21, 2017, 09:40:50 PM
Quote from: Groddil on March 21, 2017, 08:24:40 PM
WE DONT SELL GRAND SLAMWICCHS!
/me takes that right back.
Oh, and this is not cannibalism. We are eating a humanoid potato, not a human being.
YOU'RE EATING ME!
YOU'RE A POTATO WITH LEGS!
And I'm going to use those legs to leave. I quit.
Wrong. Your head is stuck in the chip frier, good luck pulling it out. And you don't get to quit.
@Aimless Gallivanter:
Chop Skarzs legs off to stop him getting jumpy. Then cook those too.
*Body squishes Groddil.*
I didn't consent to being eaten, so you're getting sued.
/me eyes Skarsz nervously
er... actually, no thanks, I'm gonna go see if Burger Lord is hiring.....
*Headless body shakes fist in Aimless's direction.* Yeah, that's right, keep moving!
/me steps out of the way of Skarzs' flailing limbs.
How exactly do you plan on squishing me when you're stuck to the chip frier by the skull?
WORKER DRONE!
/me appears.
"Mmm?"
GET THAT MACHETE FROM THE BACK ROOM AND CHOP THESE FRIES INTO MANAGEABLE SIZES!
"K."
Where are my fifty two orders of Skarzs fries? I ordered them at least two minutes ago, this place has the worst service.
FIFTY TWO ORDERS OF SKARZS FRIES TAKES A LONG TIME TO COOK, OKAY, SMART MOUTH? IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, POP OVER TO HELL'S KITCHEN ACROSS THE ROAD. I'M SURE THEY'LL LIVE UP TO YOUR STANDARDS! NOW SHUT UP, WE'RE HALFWAY THERE!
Haven't you ever played a third person view video game? I can control my body just fine! Now stop taking pieces off me or I'm gonna get angry.
*Hacks Skarzs's legs off*
*Squishies Amber anyways.* Now it's just turned into bullying. -_-
*Pushes Skarzs back into the fryer* Back you go!
*Climbs out, carrying head.* No.
Your head was never detached, so I'm assuming that post was just your imagination.
BACK TO THE FRIER, POTATO MAN!
/me fills another container of Skarzs fries.
(I had kind of assumed my head was the only thing in the fryer, and my body was just wandering around. I'm gonna draw this.)
Nah mate. You are trapped in the frier by your head. Your body and limbs cannot get away.
*Detatches fryer.* I need an angle grinder now. . . Cut this stupid thing off.
Angle Grinders are a serious hazard. There are no Angle Grinders in McDelthions. Hell's Kitchen might have one, though.
/me switches the frier to battery mode, so it continues to cook Skarzs.
I'm going home to get mine.
And how do you expect to get from East Australia to North-west America? Potatoes can't get apply for a passport.
Quote from: Groddil on March 23, 2017, 02:00:46 AM
And how do you expect to get from East Australia to North-west America? Potatoes can't get apply for a passport.
That's racist.
How dare you assume my species.
I still! Haven't! Gotten! My! Order!
That's it, I'm giving McDelthion's a half star rating and a scalding review on yelp.
*Types* Still havent recceeved order! FoOD walking a round stor complaining!1!! This place is totally worst!1!!!1!!
*Grabs Sandpaw's phone, crushes it with my foot, and throws it out the window* IF YOU AREN'T WILLING TO WAIT THEN BEAT IT, YOU UNCULTURED SWINE!
IF YOU WANT FANCY FOOD, GO TO HELL'S KITCHEN! EITHER WAY, GET OUT OF MY RESTAURANT BEFORE I TURN YOU INTO BURGER MEAT!
/me hits Skarzs in the kneecaps with a shovel.
I don't need to assume. You are a potato, so shut up and cook.
/me cleaves a large strip of flesh from Skarzs' arm and tosses it into a spare frier.
I totally ship you and Amber now.
Freaking Amber already cut off my legs. Now let me walk on my hands home in peace. *Walks home on hands.*
*Watches a potato walk home on it's hands* *Is greatly disturbed*
Wait, so is Skarz just Mr. Potato head? Or Mr. Potato Troll to be Politically Correct
Somehow they're mistaking stone for potato.
I wonder if Delthion eats at McDeltion's.
Where do you think the bad customers go?
Quote from: Skarzs on March 24, 2017, 01:57:49 AM
Where do you think the bad customers go?
I'm afraid of answering that one ;D
Quote from: Sierra on March 24, 2017, 01:57:09 AM
I wonder if Delthion eats at McDeltion's.
Depends if they have one on one of his many ships
I'll have a Groddil to go, please.
*Pours petroleum everywhere and throws Groddil in it*
Roasty toasty time!
*Lights a match and sets McDelthion's on fire*
How dare you ruin our restaurant! *Calls the fire department and they arrive instantly and put out the fire*
*Sets the fire department on fire*
You look cold.
*Hurls Lady Amber into the blazing fire department*
Getting fired up about this topic now.
(http://i3.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/000/091/cancer.png)
*Drags Ashe into the fire, then leaves him there and walks out* Looks like we'll be serving roast Ashe along with our Skarzs fries.
Uugh, he'll taste like ashes.
Quote from: LT Sandpaw on March 25, 2017, 04:18:53 PM
Uugh, he'll taste like ashes.
Not if you salt him thoroughly.
That's the patented "Dead Sea" taste.
Maybe it is just me being stingy, but a mix of ashes and salt doesn't sound appealing.
Oh, really?
Yeah, not my cup of tea.
Simple! Combining of flavour. We dump the ash and salt into some Skarzs fries, mix it with a little sauce and cheese, and voila! Loaded fries!
4700% of your daily sodium and calcium intake.
*Watches Lady Amber burn alive*
*Walks out of the fire, still burning*
Unfortunately for you, I'm immune to flames.
Uh, no, I walked out of the fire and then jumped in a lake, so I'm not burning.
Walks up to the edge of the fire
I'D LIKE TWO NUMBER NINES, A NUMBER NINE LARGE, A NUMBER SIX WITH EXTRA DIP, A NUMBER SEVEN, TWO NUMBER FORTY-FIVES, ONE WITH CHEESE, AND A LARGE SODASpoiler
Oh for the love of... LOOK, WE'RE SICK OF PEOPLE GOING THROUGH THE DRIVE-THRU AND BEING WITTY! GET OUT!
Quote from: Groddil on March 25, 2017, 09:06:03 PM
Simple! Combining of flavour. We dump the ash and salt into some Skarzs fries, mix it with a little sauce and cheese, and voila! Loaded fries!
*Gingerly tries it.*
(https://media.tenor.co/images/69a38f8231457a08c782c1e4622ad9aa/tenor.gif)
@Sand: Good, isn't it?
*Wheeze* It's.... Interesting... *Cough*
Fer me order ah vie nae vant ye tae take me order pleaze.
Yes, please don't.
Wut.
Erm, certainly. Ahhh...
*whispers* Amber, give this man a frozen coke and kick him out of the store.
Quote from: Lady Amber on March 26, 2017, 09:27:03 PM
Uh, no, I walked out of the fire and then jumped in a lake, so I'm not burning.
*Sets Amber on fire again*
Quote from: Groddil on March 27, 2017, 03:28:29 AM
Wut.
Erm, certainly. Ahhh...
*whispers* Amber, give this man a frozen coke and kick him out of the store.
In zat caze, can ah leazt 'ave Solo und ze Wookiee?
What? Why? Why would we even sell Wookies? No! Get out of my store!
Ni! *Poztz funny Muppetz video inztead*
Quote from: Groddil on March 27, 2017, 03:28:29 AM
Wut.
Erm, certainly. Ahhh...
*whispers* Amber, give this man a frozen coke and kick him out of the store.
Righto. *Shoves frozen coke into HiAG's hands and pushes him out the door* Be gone with thee!
You don't just do that to Head.
Why not?
We can. And we did.
*Zaid frozen Coke gaez flyin' inzoide ze "reztaurant" und vhackz Groddil rezoundingly in ze 'ead*
*Valkz back inzoide.* Ah zink ve av need tae 'ear Ze Vater Zong!
Glad to see I have turned into a successful entrepreneur! ;D
AAAAAHHHHH!!!!
Quote from: Delthion on May 02, 2017, 04:38:35 AM
Glad to see I have turned into a successful entrepreneur! ;D
DEL! *Tacklehugs*
DEL DEL DEL DEL DEL DEL DEL DEL DEL DEL DEL DEL!!!
AM I DREAMING OR IS THIS REAL
SOMEONE PINCH ME
*Screams*
Why was that his only post?!
YES DEL PLEASE POST MORE YOU CANT TEASE US LIKE THIS
Just seeing what the reaction would be! ;D
But most likely I will not be nearly as active as I have been in the past.
DELTHION OH MY GOSH YOU'RE BACK OH MY GOSH YES FINALLY YES YES YES
ROSIE ITS FINALLY HERE!!! YES!!!
Well welcome back Del. Can't say we missed you all too much or anything.
We missed him, Gonff. (Jukka and Rosie especially.)
Quote from: The Skarzs on May 02, 2017, 10:52:42 PM
We missed him, Gonff. (Jukka and Rosie especially.)
Naw really Skarzs? I honestly couldn't tell.
;D
I AM NO JOKE CRYING RIGHT NOW SEEING YOU BACK DEL
*coughs* Okay, I'm done with the caps.
Gonff we must find a way to keep him here so he can never leave us again.
Indeed. I say chains and metal chair; he can't chew threw it easy. Or a really big hamster ball that way he can roam around.
gonff, thats..... never mind
Welcome back Del!!!! We missed you a lot dude!!!
Quote from: Gonff the Mousethief on May 02, 2017, 11:24:00 PM
Indeed. I say chains and metal chair; he can't chew threw it easy. Or a really big hamster ball that way he can roam around.
Perfect, I have a hamster ball downstairs. Too bad he isn't 2'' though.
Thank you!
Tears? I brought someone to tears in a good way...interesting. ;D
I can see that no one really missed me Gonff! ;D
*Sees no one posting, decides to resort to cannibalism. Eats Rosie.*
Eating people is the only way he knows how to love.
So. . . what's new, Del?
*Is in Del's stomach*
This is odd...
Ah, cannibalism. That may be one way he could escape our confines.
*Shouts down Del's throat*
Rosie, see anyone old members down there that Del took with him? Or ships? He has to keep them somewhere.
Quote from: The Skarzs on May 03, 2017, 12:55:05 AM
Eating people is the only way he knows how to love.
So. . . what's new, Del?
Well, I've been focusing a lot more on fencing, and I've qualified for the Nationals: Division II and III in Men's Saber. Other than that, not much. You?
Coool.
I've started a full time job welding, I finally finished the last chapter of my book, and I've just been generally very busy.
Quote from: Gonff the Mousethief on May 03, 2017, 03:08:36 AM
Ah, cannibalism. That may be one way he could escape our confines.
*Shouts down Del's throat*
Rosie, see anyone old members down there that Del took with him? Or ships? He has to keep them somewhere.
No, it just smells like cake in here. Wait... is this a slip of paper with
DELSIE on it? I finally have my evidence.
Oh Gonff, can you help me out? I've gotten past the phase where I wanted to see Del's innards. Wasn't that an odd time.
Quote from: Delthion on May 03, 2017, 03:17:50 AM
Quote from: The Skarzs on May 03, 2017, 12:55:05 AM
Eating people is the only way he knows how to love.
So. . . what's new, Del?
Well, I've been focusing a lot more on fencing, and I've qualified for the Nationals: Division II and III in Men's Saber. Other than that, not much. You?
Congratulations and good luck Del!
DEL?!?! YOU'RE ALIVE?! ;D
Indeed I am! How art thou most venerable Squirrel Sister?
I'm doing fine, thanks. ;D You?
I am doing well! Now, would you like your Skarzs battered or baked?
Neither, you freak!
What was that? Baked? Of course!
/me shaves flesh from Skarzs and bakes it.
Quote from: Rosie Willowwater on May 03, 2017, 02:46:41 PM
Quote from: Gonff the Mousethief on May 03, 2017, 03:08:36 AM
Ah, cannibalism. That may be one way he could escape our confines.
*Shouts down Del's throat*
Rosie, see anyone old members down there that Del took with him? Or ships? He has to keep them somewhere.
No, it just smells like cake in here. Wait... is this a slip of paper with DELSIE on it? I finally have my evidence.
Oh Gonff, can you help me out? I've gotten past the phase where I wanted to see Del's innards. Wasn't that an odd time.
Huh, didn't realize digested human flesh smelled of cake. Interesting. Oh, and is it true! Delsie evidence! Oh, we gotta get bunches of wedding topics on this rolling pronto!
Oh, and yes, quite an odd time indeed. Guess it comes with Del and leaves with it.
*Reaches down and grabs Rosie*
There y'go. Oh and Del, bake me up a couple pieces of Skarzs as well if you don't mind. Sounds tasty.
Would you prefer white or dark meat?
White for now, but dark is always an option for later.
Good choice sir!
*Removes pieces from Skarzs and begins baking them.*
I hate you all.
I am sure you do my good troll, I am sure you do. ;D
Quote from: The Skarzs on May 04, 2017, 05:03:08 AM
I hate you all.
Don't be such a downer Skarzs. Here, just wait a bit and you can have some of my Skarzs Skin. I bet that will cheer you up.
That is the ultimate form of cannibalism! ;D
Well I guess more the merrier then (regarding cannibalism of course).
Ah but Gonff! In this case it is quality, not quantity! ;D
Quote from: Delthion on May 04, 2017, 05:09:12 AM
Ah but Gonff! In this case it is quality, not quantity! ;D
Ah, I see. So, more taste and flavor, springs of spice and splendor the better, yes?
No, I mean the quality of cannibalism! You can eat the flesh of your own species, but then you can eat your own flesh! ;D
Oh, there exist far too many rules in this art Del. I must leave this specialty to you, for I feel I am too well versed in normal culinary skills that this. But Skarzs Skin, I'll still take a bit of that.
Ah! Of course monsieur!
*Begins skinning Skarzs slightly, starting at the scalp.* ;D
Die.
DEL! DEL! DEL! YOU'RE BACK! YES! YES! YESSSSS! *Tacklehugs*
Yes, he's back. Give him this bleach to drink so he stops torturing me.
I am impervious to all methods of poison! ;D
Step right up, step right up, folks. We have some new products in store!
We're now selling four new items guaranteed to make your mouths water.
CHEESEBURGER SHAKER FRIES! Now you can shove your Skarzs fries in a bag with some cheeseburger seasoning for obscene prices just to get some weird tasting potato. Or snort the seasoning. I don't care.
SALTED CARAMEL PIES! It's like an apple pie, but with caramel filling.
CHICKEN BIG DELS! Like the Big Del, but rather than beef, we use two chicken patties. Now, we don't have any chicken at the moment, we're still waiting on a shipment, but what are the three nicest parts of a chicken? That's right: Wings, breast, and legs. Skarzs doesn't have wings, but we can cook up the other bits until the truck arrives.
Last, and certainly least, we have POTATO MINIO- Oh. Oh. Actually, these bloody things have not yet arrived. Thankfully. They're on the truck too. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go... Take care of something.
/me breaks the fireaxe container in the Manager's office and pulls out an RPG.
Oh, and we're out of pickles and tomatoes. Sorry about that.
I still do not consent.
Nobody cares. Skarzs fries are the best fries on the market.
-_-
You should be flattered my dear Troll! Not many are recognized as the best in their field!
This is not something to be proud of.
You're bringing joy to children everywhere, you selfish fuck. Now hold still.
/me chops out Skarzs's liver.
Baked potato, anyone? Lots of stuffing...
Why did you start calling Skarzs a potato anyway?
His avatar was smooth and circular, and resembled a potato with eyes and a mouth more than it resembled a rock or a troll.
*Is now dead from loss of body mass.*
Quote from: Groddil on June 12, 2017, 04:38:56 AM
His avatar was smooth and circular, and resembled a potato with eyes and a mouth more than it resembled a rock or a troll.
I see.
/me puts the rest of Skarzs through the fry-cutters.
/me uses Skarzs' brain to clone a new Skarzs.
/me stuffs New!Skarzs' head into the fryer and chops his feet off.
Back where we were! >:D
Your devil face failed.
Oh no! It did!?