My hill

[Kade Rivok]

*Hears somebeast making ringing noises with their mouth outside.  Peers suspiciously through the curtains.*  I haven't got a doorbell.  You aren't trying to sell me doorbells, are you?

[Booklover]

No, I'm trying to buy the hill off you. And with the millions of dollars from the MDB game, I should have enough.

My hill.

[shisteer of nothing much]

You're not following the conditions. You're not allowed to use spaces, remember? Ginourmouse is how I choose to spell it. You'd be surprised how terrifying a Taniwha that is taking on the identity of an alcoholic mouse can be.
My hill. *sips coffee* (but Kade can still live in his hobbit hole)

[Booklover]

No,I'mtryingtobuythehilloffyou.AndwiththemillionsofdollarsfromtheMDBgame,Ishouldhaveenough.Myhill.

Better?Anythingelseforyou?Oh,bytheway,thatcoffeethatyoujustdrunkhasiocanepowderinit.Myhill.

And what's this I see?

Nah. I value convenience more than money. (and yes, you can stop now)

You've gone back on what you said. My hill.

[Kade Rivok]

*Brews fresh pot of coffee, then leans out the window.*  Anybeast that wants to take a coffee break, I've got some down here for ya!

[Booklover]

As long as there isn't any iocane powder in it.

[Sebias of Redwall]

*Claims hill*

Mine. But I might let ya'll stay on for a hefty tax....

[Booklover]

As I said, MDB thread. Plus, it would be rent rather than tax.

My hill.

[Kade Rivok]

Property tax is a thing.  And I would never poison coffee!  That's an insult to coffee.

[shisteer of nothing much]

Oh,bytheway,thatcoffeethatyoujustdrunkhasiocanepowderinit.

I built up an immunity to iocane powder before I attempted to take over Salamandastron. My hill. (but Kade can still live in his hobbit hole)

*Brews fresh pot of coffee, then leans out the window.*  Anybeast that wants to take a coffee break, I've got some down here for ya!

Yes please!

[Booklover]

Don't panic, I hired some Genovesan assassins to shoot you with aracoina poison tipped arrows. I also made sure that Will, Halt and Horace would kill them without finding out what poison they used. Also Malcolm is sadly away.

My hill (though Kade can live in his Hobbit hole and make lots of coffee).

[shisteer of nothing much]

*is cold blooded and, therefore, immune to said poison* Do panic, I've hired some Scorpion assassins to shoot you with skorti poison tipped crossbow bolts. (and you don't know what kind of poison they used and they'll never tell you)

My hill. (Kade can still live in his hobbit hole)

[Verdauga]

*Claims the hill while Shisteer and Booklover are arguing.*

[Kade Rivok]

*Claims the hill while Shisteer and Booklover are arguing.*

Hey now, there'll be no hill claiming while in my home!  No food or coffee for you.  *Puts out two cups of fresh brewed coffee and some scones (that rhyme with cones) for Teer and Booklover*

[Booklover]

*is cold blooded and, therefore, immune to said poison* Do panic, I've hired some Scorpion assassins to shoot you with skorti poison tipped crossbow bolts. (and you don't know what kind of poison they used and they'll never tell you)

My hill. (Kade can still live in his hobbit hole)

I'll be fine. They might not tell me, but they will tell the Rangers and Skandian that happen to be my friends. And I have the Guide so I won't panic.

*Claims the hill while Shisteer and Booklover are arguing.*

We aren't arguing, we're debating.

*Claims the hill while Shisteer and Booklover are arguing.*

Hey now, there'll be no hill claiming while in my home!  No food or coffee for you.  *Puts out two cups of fresh brewed coffee and some scones (that rhyme with cones) for Teer and Booklover*

Thank you for the coffee (which has honey in) and the scones, which rhyme with cons.

I don't have much time to write a long detailed explanation, so...
My hill.