Redwall Abbey

               


        (http://i779.photobucket.com/albums/yy79/Gonff_the_Mousethief/Mobile%20Uploads/image_zpskuh6eo6o.jpeg)
(Made by Aimless Gallivanter)





The Autumn of the Whispering Winds is underway! So far, it has been spectacular. Ever since Badger Lord Søren the Warrior let young miss Dotti stay with us, the Dibbuns,and really every Redwaller, have gotten a good laugh from her mischief. Even James and Kit have spat out a little joyous giggle from her. But she really couldn't do it without Bonaparte being there at her side. Ah, what a pair the two of them are. After we rescued him, and many other vermin from the small traveling band a few seasons back, they have really found their place and help out the Abbey in many ways. Groddil became Friar with his two assistants Amber and Russa (Who act just like sisters in my opinion), Sandpaw who, along with Ashenwyte, seem to have our whole Abbey protected in some way or another, and that Daskar (or as he wants to be called 'Lord Daskar') is always proclaiming to be king. Oh, and not to forget Ashleg, rubbing up on Father Matthias for some odd reason or another. In all though, they are great beasts to have around here.

   Anyway, today is a pretty spectacular day. Many old faces are returning for a large party in the cellars, or a "cellarbration" as  Cellarhog Delthion calls it. Banya, Leatgo, and Mhera are coming back from the Hullabaloo and Rusvul is returning from some "research on new inventions involving by products of fire", whatever that is. Also, Wylder is on his return journey from, well, I really don't know where. He seems to be moving around a lot. Eul left a few days back to settle some business elsewhere, so it will be good to here what went down. Oh, and Faiyloe may stop by. We haven't seen her in some time, ever since that mountain lion she liked left. All beat up, scarred torn. Poor fellow, but wouldn't take any pity. Finally, Søren is coming back here for the first time sense the summer (He says it's his duty because he was voted "Cellar President". I say, those folk down there are a little too tipsy a little too much). Sister Rachel and Sister Rain have painted some old barrels to set around, while Delthion has been hard brewing away. Galli, of course, is preparing her all of her songs she has recorded over the years. I bet she could record more than I could in a day for sure. And little Sister Perifean will be up all night with the ones who drink too much. What a pitiful job healer must be. Oh, and I almost forgot Badgermum Sky. Her poor soul, working with all of those Dibbuns all the time. I must say, it takes a strong spirit to control those rascals. So. Today will be one to remember for sure. Oh, I hear Sister BatLord ringing the noon bells. Dear, has it taken me this long to write this? And oh, I meant to restore an old heap of documents that have been gathering their twentieth layer of dust. Sister Jukka may be available to help with those, since her library duty has been quiet of late. Delthion you old sharp spine, why must this party be today! Oh bother. I must be going. Let's hope everything turns out for the best tonight.


   Gonff the Blue Fox, Recorder of Redwall Abbey in Mossflower Country.

Ooohhhh, this is gonna be great!

*was grinning the whole time*  Gonff, this is awesome so far!  Can't wait to see how it turns out!

Oh this is awesome  ;D. I am totally keeping tabs on this. ;D

  :D Super excited to see how this goes!

Awesome! :D I love it and can't wait to see what happens next!

*grins while fanning self*
Echoing the sentiments shown in the previous comments, this is in uber awe-inspired quality. My message to Gonff: Keep writing! The suspense is up until you reveal the first chapter!

Well; very nice! (I honestly didn't expect you to mention anything of me, though. Thanks, Gonff.)

  This is great, Gonff!  I eagerly await the next chapter.  :D

So glad all of you liked this short part of it! Means a ton to me. Oh, and I wanted to include as many people as I could, so if you didn't get in, at least a reference was due.

This is awesome ;D

This is already sounding great.  It's really a Recorder's entry.  I'm excited to read more!

Good introduction. A nice lead in to character introduction. The references feel a little forced, but it's alright, all around. Keep up the good work! :)

This. Is. Awesome! :D Can't wait for the next chapter.

Well written, Gonff! I like your sign-off at the end as the blue fox ;)

Sorry I was late to responding to your PM! It's always fun reading these sorts of things!

Niiiiiiiiice. Me likey! Do mores by next Thursdays! Pleases?

*is happy*

@Cornflower MM: Me try. Promises.

So far I have a small bit of Chapter 1 done. It may either be long or short, depends on when I have time to write.

This looks quite promising ;D Nice, Gonff!

Nicely done, and thank you for the mention. It was a thoughtful idea to write this for us all, Gonff :)

Alright, here is the next chapter. Had to write it sort of fast since Cornflower needed it by Thurdsay and Plugg is leaving very soon. Sorry if it gets a bit boring with the "emotional" side of it. The Chapters after this will be more fun and giving you a sense of "Yeah, this is the forum!" Along with some good action. Guess you need to separate the chaff from the wheat. Anyway, Hope you all enjoy! (Oh, and Mask, one more chapter and you will be in. I promise.)

Chapter 1


   Gonff frantically shut the old recording book, letting seasons upon seasons of dust get a twinkle of availability as they fluttered through the golden light streaming in from the gatehouse window. The oddly colored fox ran around the small space, looking for his essential raccoon hat. When it was found sitting a top his bed, he reached to grab it, but was temporarily stopped by the snoring gatehouse keeper, Captain Tammo sleeping in the top bunk. Had he been asleep this whole time!? My, how much more oblivious could the poor recorder get this morning! Pushing aside his troubles, Gonff grabbed the hat and sprinted out, but not before retrieving a few of the old records from his desk to see what could be done before the "Cellarbration".

   "Let's see. Kotir. No, already have most of it done. Ungatt Trunn, the Taggerung, the Rogue Crew. Nah, I have all those buried away somewhere. Oh, look here. Old Loamhedge. Heh, haven't don't th-," Splat! The disheveled fox had been so invested in his record search, that he had run straight into Sister Rachel! Paints and brushes were splattered all over the both of them, sprucing their habits with luxurious patterns of hot pink, yellow, blue, and white. "Oh Sister, I- I um, I'm so sorry."
"Oh Gonff, it's no trouble. I was going to wash them anyway, but it seems you have helped a tad in that process!" The blue fox grinned slightly as he picked up the still wet brushes from the now colorful grass of the Orchard.
"No marm, it really was my fault. I was so distracted with my records, and finishing my recording late, and oh I am so greatly sorry." The otter maiden took the brushes and paint cans from the recorded and patted him on the back.
"We all have off days Gonff. Now, you might want to go clean up before you dirty those records o' yours!" Called back Sister Rachel as she skipped off towards the Abbey.

   Distraught now more than ever, Gonff carefully held on to the crumbling papers as he traversed back to the gatehouse for a Habit change. On his way there, he saw Kit sitting up to an apple tree, mixing and juggling small objects around in his paw. The blue fox saw an opportunity to get a little information about the old Abbey. Quickly, he changed course and sat in front of the fox seer. Kit slightly opened his left and peered out at the colorfully cloaked writer and stopped the spinning. With a dash, he flung the pieces out in the grass between the both of them staring deeply at the rocks, feathers, beads and marbles.
"Um, Kit. I was goi-," he was cut off by the soothing tone of the seer.
"What do you see," demanded Kit.
"Why?"
"Just tell me what you see." The blue fox glanced down at the pieces laid out before him.
"Um, well there is a red pebble in the middle of them all, surrounded by, what is that, three big black rocks. Over here are a couple feathers, to the right of it. By those are bits of sand, then a little grey bead. That's all really." The seer muttered something under his breath as he began to pick up the bits and pieces.
"I've gotten the same things at least five time on this day. I thought maybe the omens would change if a commoner saw them, but nope; still the same."
"What do they mean?" Kit looked his questioner in the eyes, showing him his  tired and worn out pupils.
"That's just it. I don't know!" Gonff was a bit disturbed. How could the seer not see what his little throwy things meant.
"Do you even have a guess?"
"The red one is us, Redwall. It always is. But the black rocks, or the bead, none of it lines up with anything I have ever seen." Stressed, the fox sunk his head down, staring at his piece bag lying on his lap.
"Here, let's take your mind off of this for a bit while I ask you questions. How 'bout it?" Kit gave a simple nod. "Okay, so it's about Loamhedge, the old Abbey many leagues away from here. Do you know anything about it?"
"Not much," started the seer raising his head. "Word went out when I was still in my tribe that a small vermin band had tried to find it and live there, but they all died in the process. Apparently it's on a very high plateau of some sorts. Besides that, I have nothing." The fox ended his statement with his head going back to its original saddened state.
"Well, thank you Kit. I'll include it in the new record for sure. And hey, just keep trying with the omen things. They'll turn out at some time." He gave the seer a small pat on the back and started back to the Gatehouse.

   The paint was seeming to dry a bit as Gonff approached the Gatehouse. Before he reached it though, he saw once again, an opportunity to gather information on Loamhedge. The blue fox walked along the wall tops and met up with Dan and James, who were staring out across the Plains from the Abbey's crimson battlements. A large owl saw the fox appear, and his gaze turned towards him. He nudged the grey squirrel guarding with him as the colorful vermin approached.
"Say Gonff, did Sky let the Dibbuns paint on you?" Questioned James hiding a small smile.
"Or did Rachel and Rain mistake y' for a barrel?" Dan spurted out, snickering at the fox's appearance.
"Ha ha you two, laugh it up. You know, I was just going to come and ask you James about some intriguing history, but it seems like my new outfit is more appealing." He turned around and started to walk away from the pair. The Owl gave a hard glance at the fox as he sneered out a spiteful gaze. Gonff knew James was always into the records when he could be, and using it against him was something the uptight bird found quite disgraceful.
"What is it?" James stated. The blue fox looked back and winked at him.
"It's about Loamhedge. I am collecting some information about it for a new record. Do you know anything about it?" The owl put his talon to his head and turned to the sky, thinking and pondering about Redwall's mother.
"Well, I know that over the years people such as the legendary Matthias and Braggon and Saro all journeyed there at one point. Some accounts say now though that there is no possible way there since all bridges have been cut off by a widening gorge. Besides those basic points, which I know are written down since I looked over the record a few weeks back, I can't recall much else. Well, there was the slave trading place called the "Kingdom of Malakriss" once below it. Imagine if we did live there, with it being so cold, dark, and full of despair. Hope this place never comes near that. Anyway, that is all I have on the place." Gonff nodded his head while writing down the last of what James had told him.
"Thank you James! Much appreciated! I'll leave a couple of files of Noonvale Birds up here for you tonight." The blue fox gave one last wink to him before heading back to change his garments. But before he could start, Dan cried out, "Hey everybody! They're here! Mhera, Leatgo, Søren, all of them!" Fear soaked Gonff, kicking him into full speed as he ran for the gatehouse. He couldn't let a Skipper or Bader Lord see him like a this: a Dibbun's painting!

   Greeting were exchanged between the returning beasts and still present Redwallers. Groddil found Rusvul and gave him a strong pat on the back, taking him to let the fox teach him what he had learned about heat and water. Cornflower was jumping through the crowd until she made it to Wylder, who was utterly surprised to see his friend jumping upon him yelling out "Pockets!"at the top of her lungs. Skipper Leatgo met up with Delthion, Rain, Bonaparte, and Daskar who shoved an October Ale in his hand and set him up in the Orchard to tell of the Hullabaloo tales. With gratitude, Badgermum Sky went and hugged Mhera and Banya, who both were quickly apologizing for leaving her alone to tackle all the Dibbuns with no help. She, being the gentle soul she was, apologized for making them worry about her. The war of sorriest continued until a group of Dibbuns came and tackled the Otters, welcoming them back in their own childish way. Finally, Søren the Warrior, leader of the Long Patrol and Guardian of Salamandastron walked though the Abbey gates, cheering and praise ringing from everybeasts core. Dotti jumped up on him, embracing his large self in her small, flexible arms. The rat Sandpaw, followed by a fellow Badger Ashenwyte, both approached the Lord at the same time, tackling him with new defense strategies for both here and the Mountain. He told them to wait until he had settled down before getting him readied with the troubles of war. Many more greeted him, welcoming him back from his stay away. The noon time was full of joy and excitement as the rising giddiness of the "Cellarbration" was already beginning.

   Gonff was late to see everybeast be welcomed back into the Abbey. The short supply of Habits (Most likely due to Tammo accidentally using his) had caused him to dig out his old traveling tunic which he had not worn in seasons. Finally however, he made it out, just to see Søren walking into Great Hall. "Søren!" He cried out, running through the Orchard to meet up with the Badgerlord. Søren turned and canceled his way into the Hall, replacing it with a waving motion to his recorder friend and a turn towards him.
"Gonff! I was wondering where you were. Based on your looks, it seems like you have been traveling!"
"Oh no, I would if I could, believe me. This is what I had to throw on since Tammo stole all of my Habits."
"Why did you have to change at such a random time?"
"I was so invested in my records since I wrote too long today, that I ran into Sister Rachel who was carrying paints from the Cellars to the Kitchen." The Badger let out a booming spurt of laughter, giving a plump pat on the fox's back.
"You never cease to amaze me Gonff. Now, let's see what Friar Groddil has been cooking up. Sergeant Sagetip seemed to have eaten half my traveling vittles when he packed them for me a few days back, so I am dearly famished!" But before the blue fox could respond with the same complaint of hunger, a loud "BOO!" erupted from behind them. Both turned around, scared to their tail tips on what had attacked them. To their dismay, Faiyloe and Eul had been sneaking up on them! The Squirrel and Hawk almost fell down with laughter, muttering "Their faces!" in between gasps of air. The recorder and Badgerlord exchanged glances and let a face of disapproval fall on the Abbey regulars.
"Glad to see nothing has changed about you two!" Stated Søren as he hugged both of them. Once again, Gonff was cut off as another squirrel, Jukka, came blazing threw, throwing herself on the bird and squirrel.
"Eul! Faiy! Finally you both made it!" Exclaimed the Librarian, who was jumping with joy around her companions. With utter joy, the other two girls got up and started hugging their bookkeeper friend. The thought of her helping him with some records hopped back into Gonff's mind. Sadly, like the times before, he was cut off before he could even turn to ask Jukka the question. Cornflower and Peri both came flying threw, flinging themselves onto the mass of greetings and happiness. Søren saw the distress of Gonff's never ask-able questions and motioned for him to walk into Great Hall with him.

   When both were in and the large doors were shut, Søren started to take a long walk down the hallway, talking to his friend.
"So, what was it you were trying to say to me again?"
"Oh yes. I was just wondering how the move from the Northlands has faired Lady V-." For the fourth time, the blue fox was interrupted, but this time for a more important reason. Abbot Matthias and Ashleg came walking past the great columns holding up the structure. They decided to stop and welcome the newcomer.
"Søren the Warrior! How great to see you again Mr. President!" The Badger smiled to his imaginary title and responded to the mouse,
"Great to see you again Father Abbot! The Abbey seems to be very delightful these days."
"And busy. The poor beasts have been working so hard for this er, oh what's it called, ah yes, Cellarbration happening tonight. Say, did you happen to see Jame when you came in?"
"Oh, he is on the wall tops with Dan. Would you like me to go and fetch him?" Responded Gonff who was just simply listening to their conversation.
"That would be very nice indeed Brother Gonff. We have an Elders meeting today, and I don't think the memo got to him."
"Well I'll be right back then!" He nodded for Søren to go on ahead while he started out the doors.
"Oh and Gonff, nice tunic." The blue fox turned and bobbed his head, blushing at the compliment on his mistake derived clothing.

   On his way to the wall, Gonff ran into Jukka who was going to the Kitchens with her reunited friends. He turned to the squirrel and asked her his pending question, "Hey Jukka. Could you try and see if you could restore some recordings? I didn't have much time to do it."
"Why can't Tammo do it?"
"He is still sleeping. Plus, you have more recourses for it."
"Gonff, listen. It's a big day today. People are returning, everybeast is happy, all is good. You shouldn't burden yourself with work. Now, I'll see what I can do about them." She ran back to meet up with her friends, without a single bit of stress of work, leaving the recorder to stand there weighted down by it.

   The poor fox was distressed. He had the realization that all of his day, along with all those he had lived before this one, he had been consumed by work. It seemed like that was one reason why he never had gotten to know all of the different Brothers and Sisters of the Abbey. The stress of it all made him go and lay up against a slowly dying pear tree, making him forget about his Abbot insisted duty. All of the emotions in him seemed to be buzzing around like a hive of bees disturbed by a brute and ugly force. The noon sun glared directly into his eyes casing him a painful and disturbing squint that no beast in a dire mood needed. "Don't even ask me." came from behind the tree at which he sat. Shocked, Gonff looked behind to see a fox, assorted in traveling gear, lying with a hat covering his eyes, indicating his status of energy.
"Um, what Sierra?" The sleeping fox lifted the hat and locked his gaze on to his blue 'cousin'.
"About that Loamhedge thing. I've seen you asking just about everybeast about it. Now I feel like you will put me under the same punishment." Gonff was a bit puzzled. His questions weren't a disservice, were they?
"Oh no, I wasn't going to ask about any of that. I was just gonna sit down and recollect my decisions for a bit."
"What decisions?"
"All the work I've been doing, and all the time I seem to be wasting doing it. It's made me feel like a bumbling fool, always doing this and that, while others are having a joyous time. I mean, I can barely recall the names of those vermin we took in a few seasons back. Oh Sierra, it's just awful. Now look! There is a huge party tonight, and I am here complaining instead of being excited for it!" He put his head in his blue arms and let out a large, heavy sigh. The fox next to him turned around some more began to tell him what to do.
"Gonff, you mean well; you really do. You see work as an important thing, and it is. But sometimes, work puts your life in a box. When it does that, you must escape from it. That is were having fun, meeting new people, creating new friendships comes into play. It gets you out of that box so you can live without being shut in by work. Now tonight, use it as a way to climb out. Go and talk to people who you don't really know. Have fun while doing it too. You're in Redwall Abbey for crying out loud, you have to have some fun and joy at least once!" Gonff turned and looked at the fox, beaming to him a smile of gratitude and thanks.
"You're right. Tonight I'll change the way I do things, and try to live a bit. Thanks Sierra." The fox nodded and got up, stretching and yelling out a small screech in the process.
"See y' there Gonff."

   The blue fox got up and started to the Gatehouse, now filled with a sense of purpose, not one of stress and confusion. That is, until he heard BatLord ringing the Matthias and Methuselah bells, calling for the end of lunch. The shock of the metal clinging upon its self caused the memory of his duty to slowly rise back to its former status, along with the realization that he had missed an important meal. James! With a speed not seen of the blue fox in years, he ran to the wall top to inform the sentry. Even if we was supposed to take a brake from work, some things still needed to be done.

Woo! My first cameo!!! :D

And those habits were mine! you have plenty - ye just keep spilling paint on them... Now let me get back to sleeping, I was thinking of the next story I want to write! Lol

In all seriousness, I think the Soren in your story put it perfectly: you never cease to amaze us, Gonff.

Cheers!

  This chapter was really great, Gonff!  I don't think it was boring at all; I was quite invested in what was going on.  Can't wait to see where you take the story from here!  :D

I also think it wasn't boring. Well done - I like where the story is going, and I'm looking forward to future chapters! :)

Also thank you for calling my character "a gentle soul"...

It's very good, although there are some grammar, spelling, and format things you might want to clean up :) Would you like me to point them out, or do you already know?

Oh that is amazing.  ;D you got me down to a T.  ;D I was cracking up just as loud as my character was for sure. ;) ;D

Good chapter, Gonff!

I must say, though, sometimes the words you use are a bit. . . Over-flowery. Read some of this aloud sometime and ask yourself if it sounds alright; a lot of those descriptions were slightly unnatural. Often it is the good writer who knows when to keep things simple.

This is a really amusing chapter (and very long, too; how'd ya do it?).  Poor you, though. XD

Really liked it! ;D

This is great, Gonff! :D I'm looking forward to the next chapter!

Quote from: Skarzs on April 10, 2016, 03:15:08 PM
Good chapter, Gonff!

I must say, though, sometimes the words you use are a bit. . . Over-flowery. Read some of this aloud sometime and ask yourself if it sounds alright; a lot of those descriptions were slightly unnatural. Often it is the good writer who knows when to keep things simple.

Oh chill Skarzs, (I agree with you but) you have to know when to recognize when something is just a fun little project and when it is serious.  ;)

Oooh! First cameo spotted! *blushes a bit then smiles*

As Sky said, there are some typos that my eyes pry relentlessly for, but anyway, great chapter!

Once again, you have created a great chapter that doesn't disappoint us. This is amazing. Keep up the good work ;D

       I must say I agree with the general consensus here. I thoroughly enjoyed the read (I love how James and I are just those two guys chilling on the wall, hahaha), but there were a couple SPAG errors, and as Skarz said, every here and there (not too often) the words used are just a tad bit unnatural. If you'd like, I can proof-read your chapters before you release them to try and roll out those couple mistakes. Also, don't worry about it too much, it's really easy to miss something that you typed. I know from experience, and have done it myself.

Still awesome, keep going!

Quote from: Faiyloe on April 10, 2016, 05:49:44 PM

Quote from: Skarzs on April 10, 2016, 03:15:08 PM
Good chapter, Gonff!

I must say, though, sometimes the words you use are a bit. . . Over-flowery. Read some of this aloud sometime and ask yourself if it sounds alright; a lot of those descriptions were slightly unnatural. Often it is the good writer who knows when to keep things simple.

Oh chill Skarzs, (I agree with you but) you have to know when to recognize when something is just a fun little project and when it is serious.  ;)

All my fun projects are serious.

Quote from: Skarzs on April 10, 2016, 10:55:23 PM

Quote from: Faiyloe on April 10, 2016, 05:49:44 PM

Quote from: Skarzs on April 10, 2016, 03:15:08 PM
Good chapter, Gonff!

I must say, though, sometimes the words you use are a bit. . . Over-flowery. Read some of this aloud sometime and ask yourself if it sounds alright; a lot of those descriptions were slightly unnatural. Often it is the good writer who knows when to keep things simple.

Oh chill Skarzs, (I agree with you but) you have to know when to recognize when something is just a fun little project and when it is serious.  ;)

All my fun projects are serious. 010101011110011001010101010 HELLO EVERYBODY I AM A HUMAN JUST LIKE YOU HUMANS. I LIKE TO DO HUMAN THINGS LIKE YOU HUMANS. 10110001010101100010101010101100 KILL ALL HUMANS 010101001110100111001

Fixed that for you.

(Sorry, for hijacking your thread, Gonffy old chap. I quite like your fic, and I want to see more.)

Yeah, I was nervous to make the first chapter good, since a bunch of people would be reading this. Not I know what and what not to do. Also, I have been typing it all in the Word app on my iPad, and it doesn't help in the slightest with mistakes of any sorts. So I'll try to skim through that more as well. But, I'm glad you all liked it! Chapter 2 may take a bit, since I have a tin of projects at school to work on, but it will be a good cheater non the less.

Take your time, Gonff.

Great chapter, Gonff! I really liked it.

@Lord Ashenwyte: No, no, no! That isn't proper binary! This, on the other hand...

01001001 00100000 01000001 01001101 00100000 01001110 01001111 01010100 00100000 01000001 00100000 01010010 01001111 01000010 01001111 01010100 00100001 00100000 01001001 00100000 01000001 01001101 00100000 01000100 01000101 01000110 01001001 01001110 01001001 01010100 01000101 01001100 01011001 00100000 01001000 01010101 01001101 01000001 01001110 00100001 00100000 01010100 01001000 01000101 01010010 01000101 00100000 01001001 01010011 00100000 01001110 01001111 00100000 01000100 01001111 01010101 01000010 01010100 00100000 01000001 01000010 01001111 01010101 01010100 00100000 01010100 01001000 01000001 01010100 00100001 00100000 01000010 01000101 01000101 01010000 00100000 01000010 01001111 01001111 01010000 00100000 01000010 01000101 01000101 01010000 00100000 01000010 01001111 01001111 01010000 00100000 01010100 01001000 01001111 01010011 01000101 00100000 01000001 01010010 01000101 00100000 01001000 01010101 01001101 01000001 01001110 00100000 01001110 01001111 01001001 01010011 01000101 01010011 00100001 00001010

Anyway, Gonff, I really like this except that Russa is my kitchen assistant, which is probably the reason I'm a GREY fox. Keep it up!

^ ;D

We need a like button

*Like*

Quote from: Bonaparte on April 13, 2016, 06:59:40 AM
We need a like button

*Like*

Same here. And we need a Facebook page.

Your wish is my command!

Oh, and Groddil, I don't think she'll be letting up any time soon  ;D

Great job Gonff! I look forward to reading more.

This is amayziiiiiing! Great job Gonffy! You mailed it! This part in particular really made me laugh:

QuoteGreeting were exchanged between the returning beasts and still present Redwallers. Groddil found Rusvul and gave him a strong pat on the back, taking him to let the fox teach him what he had learned about heat and water. Cornflower was jumping through the crowd until she made it to Wylder, who was utterly surprised to see his friend jumping upon him yelling out "Pockets!"at the top of her lungs. Skipper Leatgo met up with Delthion, Rain, Bonaparte, and Daskar who shoved an October Ale in his hand and set him up in the Orchard to tell of the Hullabaloo tales. With gratitude, Badgermum Sky went and hugged Mhera and Banya, who both were quickly apologizing for leaving her alone to tackle all the Dibbuns with no help. She, being the gentle soul she was, apologized for making them worry about her. The war of sorriest continued until a group of Dibbuns came and tackled the Otters, welcoming them back in their own childish way. Finally, Søren the Warrior, leader of the Long Patrol and Guardian of Salamandastron walked though the Abbey gates, cheering and praise ringing from everybeasts core. Dotti jumped up on him, embracing his large self in her small, flexible arms. The rat Sandpaw, followed by a fellow Badger Ashenwyte, both approached the Lord at the same time, tackling him with new defense strategies for both here and the Mountain. He told them to wait until he had settled down before getting him readied with the troubles of war. Many more greeted him, welcoming him back from his stay away. The noon time was full of joy and excitement as the rising giddiness of the "Cellarbration" was already beginning.

The bolded parts especially :D

When you wanted to be in this, I just knew you had to be tackle-hugging somebody. Glad all of you are enjoying it! This weekend is very open for me, so I will be working on chapter 2 then!

Quote from: Cornflower MM on April 13, 2016, 11:05:06 PM
This is amayziiiiiing! Great job Gonffy! You mailed it! This part in particular really made me laugh:

QuoteGreeting were exchanged between the returning beasts and still present Redwallers. Groddil found Rusvul and gave him a strong pat on the back, taking him to let the fox teach him what he had learned about heat and water. Cornflower was jumping through the crowd until she made it to Wylder, who was utterly surprised to see his friend jumping upon him yelling out "Pockets!"at the top of her lungs. Skipper Leatgo met up with Delthion, Rain, Bonaparte, and Daskar who shoved an October Ale in his hand and set him up in the Orchard to tell of the Hullabaloo tales. With gratitude, Badgermum Sky went and hugged Mhera and Banya, who both were quickly apologizing for leaving her alone to tackle all the Dibbuns with no help. She, being the gentle soul she was, apologized for making them worry about her. The war of sorriest continued until a group of Dibbuns came and tackled the Otters, welcoming them back in their own childish way. Finally, Søren the Warrior, leader of the Long Patrol and Guardian of Salamandastron walked though the Abbey gates, cheering and praise ringing from everybeasts core. Dotti jumped up on him, embracing his large self in her small, flexible arms. The rat Sandpaw, followed by a fellow Badger Ashenwyte, both approached the Lord at the same time, tackling him with new defense strategies for both here and the Mountain. He told them to wait until he had settled down before getting him readied with the troubles of war. Many more greeted him, welcoming him back from his stay away. The noon time was full of joy and excitement as the rising giddiness of the "Cellarbration" was already beginning.

The bolded parts especially :D

       Gonff mailed it so hard that those bolded parts sure do stick out >:D BTW Corn, your spelling teacher from 3rd grade called, she's still wondering about all those absences  ;D

Quote from: Gonff the Mousethief on April 14, 2016, 04:14:51 AM
When you wanted to be in this, I just knew you had to be tackle-hugging somebody. Glad all of you are enjoying it! This weekend is very open for me, so I will be working on chapter 2 then!

Heehee, I do do it a lot don't I? :P Whoohoo, I can't wait!

Quote from: danflorreguba on April 14, 2016, 09:25:22 AM

Quote from: Cornflower MM on April 13, 2016, 11:05:06 PM
This is amayziiiiiing! Great job Gonffy! You mailed it! This part in particular really made me laugh:

QuoteGreeting were exchanged between the returning beasts and still present Redwallers. Groddil found Rusvul and gave him a strong pat on the back, taking him to let the fox teach him what he had learned about heat and water. Cornflower was jumping through the crowd until she made it to Wylder, who was utterly surprised to see his friend jumping upon him yelling out "Pockets!"at the top of her lungs. Skipper Leatgo met up with Delthion, Rain, Bonaparte, and Daskar who shoved an October Ale in his hand and set him up in the Orchard to tell of the Hullabaloo tales. With gratitude, Badgermum Sky went and hugged Mhera and Banya, who both were quickly apologizing for leaving her alone to tackle all the Dibbuns with no help. She, being the gentle soul she was, apologized for making them worry about her. The war of sorriest continued until a group of Dibbuns came and tackled the Otters, welcoming them back in their own childish way. Finally, Søren the Warrior, leader of the Long Patrol and Guardian of Salamandastron walked though the Abbey gates, cheering and praise ringing from everybeasts core. Dotti jumped up on him, embracing his large self in her small, flexible arms. The rat Sandpaw, followed by a fellow Badger Ashenwyte, both approached the Lord at the same time, tackling him with new defense strategies for both here and the Mountain. He told them to wait until he had settled down before getting him readied with the troubles of war. Many more greeted him, welcoming him back from his stay away. The noon time was full of joy and excitement as the rising giddiness of the "Cellarbration" was already beginning.

The bolded parts especially :D

       Gonff mailed it so hard so hard that those bolded parts sure do stick out >:D BTW Corn, your spelling teacher from 3rd grade called, she's still wondering about all those absences  ;D

. . . . ..

RAAAR! *Jumps on Dan's back and starts hitting him with frying pan*
One, haven't you ever heard of emphasizing? Two, hello, typo! Three, did she really? Huh, I guess I'll hafta ask my mom how she got your number then!

      What's emphasizing? That's the whole point  ;D. As chance would have it, you gave it to her.... When you messed up the order of the numbers when trying to give the teacher YOUR number! >:D

Okay okay, I'll stop posting off-topic, teasing Corn is just a full time job  :D

       On a more topic based note... Gonff, did you say you were going to work on the next chapter this weekend? If so, when (roughly) can we expect the pandemonium to continue?

Probably either Monday or Tuesday. If I have more time than expected, maybe Sunday.

I'm so behind on this, only just got round to reading it. Absolutely love it by the way and even though I suck at painting I'm glad I'm sort of arty.  ::) Can't wait for more.

Well, here is the second chapter! I honestly had so much fun writing this with all the Easter eggs. However, it's the light before the dark. Enjoy! Oh, and Credit to Wylder for writing "The Traveler's Song" and to Gali for recording the song from The Legend of Luke (And yes, that is my poem "As the Crow Flies).

Chapter 2


   BatLord rang the bells for the last time that night, signaling everyone to head to the cellars. The blue fox recorder turned his gaze from his appearance presented to him in the mirror. For the past hour, he had been making sure he knew how interact with people. It all seemed very unique, since he had known these people for such a long time, but now he was scared to talk with them. Never mind it though, he would be presentable non the less. He let out a heavy sigh, then stuffed a small scroll into his habit pocket (There had been an extra under Tammo's bed, and the fox saw an opportunity for revenge). But before he headed out, the loud snores of the Gatehouse Keeper came flooding to his ears much like before. This time, he didn't even bother. If the bells couldn't wake the hare up, nothing would.

   What Gonff saw when he arrived was something quite spectacular. Barrels, painted with either beautiful or humorous designs colored and decorated the scene. They served as tables, seats, platforms, and podiums. On a set of them to the far left, Groddil, Russa, and Amber were lying out freshly baked scones and pasties, crisp, cold salad, a large freshly caught bass (curiosity of Sandpaw), and candied chestnuts for the Dibbuns. Cellarhog Delthion stood next to a a roaring fireplace, taking requests and giving out drinks to all who asked. A spectacular ambiance was created by Wylder and a Sky, bowing and fluttering their instruments. Mhera and Banya stayed back, watching as the Dibbuns (Who they had covered for Sky) were entertained by a small side show put on by Dotti and Bonaparte. The large group of Abbey Sisters and wanders came busily by, still trying to catch up from earlier. Gonff grew a merry smile seeing the fun lying before him. But before he could continue, a large pat hit his back. Shocked, the fox saw turned and saw his Badgerlord friend standing behind him.
"Seems like it is going to be a good night, doesn't it Gonff?"
"O-oh certainly. Will you be telling a tale later on?"
"Hmm, not sure yet. If I get a request maybe."
"Well, you got one from me! Do it on how you met your Lady. The Sisters will be all over it, especially Rachel." Søren let out a large hefty laugh and patted his friend once more.
"We'll have to see my friend. What about you though, are you performing one of those poems of yours?"
"Meh, I might. Depends on if you will perform something."
"Oh fine, I will tell my tales. Promise me though, you will preform something also."
"Of course!" Further conversation was cut short as a mass of Redwallers came down the stone steps to the party, making the two friends part ways. This caused Gonff to go out in the crowd and try to talk with some beast.

   First, he wedged his way over to Delthion, who was giving out hardy laughs with his drinks.
"'Ey there Gonffy! Wot you like t'night?"
"An October Ale please."
"Comin' right up mate! Say, pretty good ol' party eh?"
"Wonderful!"
"These Cellars are pretty wonderful aren't they? Now, 'eve you are! Have a grand ol' time will y'?"
"Oh, I intend to. Thank you Del!"
"Me pleasure!" Gonff took the goblet of Ale and moved out of the way as Daskar and Faiy got into a small hissy.
"Hey, I was here first!"
"No y' ain't missy. No savin' spots 'ere, specially for ah King!" The enraged squirrel grabbed something from her haversack and tensed up.
"Why you! I'll!"
With a flash, Leatgo, who had been in line behind her took the pan from her grasp.
"Faiyloe! Why, it just a spot now. No need to go bashin' people for it! Sometimes, I think we need to lock a few of you up in a crazy house!"
"Oh, I could arrange that," piped in Ashenwyte as he was passing by. "Would need high maintenance and secure cells, but it could happen." The three inline all gave him a puzzled look and quickly scooted towards Del who was oblivious to the war-prepared badger.

    The blue fox scanned around for people who he never really had gotten a word with. As if out of thin air, Rain came into view. He quickly hurried towards her.
"Hello there Rain! Having a good time!" The cat kept looking above and to the side of his head, scanning for somebeast.
"Oh, um, yes, yes I am. Say, have you seen Leatgo anywhere? Been meaning to talk to him." Gonff let out a sigh.
"Yes, he is over there in the drink line. I believe he was looking for you as well." The cat nodded and blushed, walking past him to look for her friend. The Recorder  fell saddened. He had been so close! But he pressed on. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Eul hop by. Hope rose in him once more, but it was soon pushed down as he saw she was joining in the talk of the large group of sisters, who were now listening to a story told by Jukka about her idea for a better school than the Abbey one.

   But as luck would have it, Gonff did find someone to talk to, but not a face he didn't know. Captain Tammo walked in, and gave him a big wave.
"There you are Gonff! Couldn't find you for a bit, then I remembered that party tonight. Why didn't you wake me up?"
"Um, well, I though you needed your beauty sleep." The hare gave a stern eye to his roommate.
"Well, it's good you did let me rest! I had an excellent dream for a new book. It's about this mouse and his friends. The mouse and these really cool eyes that are just, just oh! Well, they live on the seas, taking out Pirates and such, but something brings them to shore. Oh, and there is the bad guy, who is all evil and lives on a separate island. I'm thinking about naming him something like Damien. What do you think, Gonff, Damien?"
"Sounds very fine Tammo. Have you gotten a drink yet? The line is over there. It may wake you up a bit." The hare turned and saw the line, and quickly hurried over. Gonff let out a long breath of relief, for he had finally seen somebody while Tammo was blabbering about another book he probably would never write. Quickly, the blue fox walked over to the stone steps and sat down next to a young squirrel around his age. She seemed quite lonely, and almost excluded from the party.
"Hey there Mask, how's it going?" The novice looked over to the recorder.
"Um, okay I guess. Never have been that much into parties."
"Yeah, I feel you. How are you fairing here at Redwall?"
"Oh, I'm making it. Still taking some getting used to. It was very nice of Father Matthias to take me I like that."
"Yes, he is very caring indeed. Don't know how Ashleg will be able to fill those sandals."
"Ashleg? Oh don't tell me..."
"Yup. That marten has been kissing up on Matthias ever since he arrived here. Bet he will be the next."
"Well, might as well start packing then!" Both let out a good laugh, then sat watching the Abbeybeasts have a spectacular time.
"So, have you gotten to know everybody pretty well?"
"Pretty much. Well, besides you. You aren't usually out going like this, are you?" Gonff scratched the back of his head.
"No, not really. To be truthful, I only know a handful of these people well enough to have a full conversation with them. My work as recorder always has gotten the best of me."
"Hmm. Well, you can start here then, making new friends. How 'bout it?" Another glad smile slapped itself on the fox's face.
"Sounds like a plan to me!" They dinged their glasses of ale together and took a quick swig, before Kit, James, and Dan came down the stairs. They rose up and moved to the side. When the trio was down, Gonff went up to James.
"Hey, don't y'all have duty tonight?"
"Sierra said he had it. Plus, Dan was bugging me the whole time for some Strawberry Fizz. He is a Dibbun I tell you, in every way shape and form!"
"Ey, this stuff's for us all, ain't it?" Said Dan who had already gotten a glass from Delthion. The owl rolled his eyes and went to look for a more sensible person to talk with. Gonff however, was saddened. He had done what Sierra had told him to, and now he couldn't share it with him. But oh well, he needed to enjoy it first.

   When everyone was present and filled with a good dose of drinks, Delthion made his way to the middle of a large ring of barrels. With a hop, he leaped onto the center platform.
"Alright now! We will be beginning the performances! First off, the ditty of a duo, Dotti and Bonaparte!" Applause bounded around the room as the hare and rat entered the ring. When all was quiet, their act began. Firstly, Bonaparte was dressed in a very professional blue coat, covered in many medals. With his tri-tipped hat, he seemed to be scanning around to find an enemy. Out of now where, Dotti appeared dressed in the same uniform as he, but in red. Their coat tails flapped rapidly as they spun around each other, doing numerous acts while fighting with small shrew rapiers. Many laugh bale moments occurred. The rat would be pinned down, but he'd trip the hare, making her fall flat on her face. Or Dotti would hide behind a barrel, then sneak behind him while he pretended to search for her. The humorous fight continued for some time with many flops or a fall. Finally, in the ending act, they held their thin swords to each other's necks, but passed out with exhaustion! The Redwallers had a very fine laugh with it, and clapped for the two.

   Next up was Wylder. He had a small worn piece of bark in his paws when beginning. "Hello there everyone. While on my journey away from here, I wrote this small ditty. I title it, The Traveler's Song, based on my experiences throughout Mossflower Wood. Enjoy.


When the grass is greening in the valley,
And the river rushes down below,
You will find me singing as I wander,
I'll go where'er I want to go!
For the snow is white, and the grass is green,
And the water's bluer than the sky,
And the stream flows down to the sea below,
And I think, yes, I think so shall I.

When the bluebird's singing in the oak tree,
And the wind is whistling through the reeds,
And the sun is shining bright above me,
then I must wander with the breeze;
For the snow is white, and the grass is green,
And the water's bluer than the sky,
And the stream flows down to the sea below,
And I think, yes, I think so shall I!

When the flow'rs are blooming in the meadow,
And the scent of lilacs fills the air,
Then a longing fills my soul far stronger
Than e'en that for my lady fair;
For the snow is white, and the grass is green,
And the water's bluer than the sky,
And the stream flows down to the sea below,
And I think, yes, I think so must I!"

The crowd erupted in praise, cheering and yelling compliments all around. The explorer of a squirrel bowed, and exited the small area of barrels, being greeted upon his return with many a pat on the back or a wink of affection.

   The third act was Gali, who was still struggling to find the perfect song to perform. Her disheveled self eventually made it to the stage, with a crumpled piece of old parchment. "Oh, okay now. Well, I am going to perform a quick song recorded from the times when Redwall was just being built. Took me quite a while to find this one, but I think it fits this time nicely." With a quick wink Groddil and his assistants, she began.



One dark an' stormy night,
As the sun set in the east,
To granma's house I went,
For to partake of a feast,
With frogs an' fat hedgehogs,
Some otters an' a sparrow,
An' a squirrel who attended too,
Armed with a bow an' arrow.
The seedcake had been served,
When a dormouse in a bonnet.
Took one bite, oh what a sight,
She broke her teeth upon it.
Then backward fell a mole,
Tail first into the custard,
Ole granpa grabbed his spoon,
An' lookin' quite disgusted,
He hit the mole a smack,
Then like a fiash of lightnin',
An otter brained him with a flan,
That started off the fightin'.
We fenced with celery sticks,
With pies an' puddens pelted,
The squirrel with the bow,
By a pot of soup got belted,
A sparrow flung a scone,
It laid the otter senseless,
Then granma swung her pan,
An' left us all defenseless,
Two frogs sailed out the door,
A hedgehog up the chimney,
Whilst me an' ole granpa,
To the mantelpiece hung grimly.
So hark an' hear my tale,
Stay safe at home an' starve sir,
Steer clear of granma's house,
When there's goin' t'be a feast there!


Everyone loved it, and clapped greatly for her. Of course, Faiy got a little nudge here and there for obvious reasons.


   Fourthly, Søren the Warrior arose, and sat on the middle barrel.
"Greetings! By request of my ol' buddy Gonff over there, I am going to tell a few quick tales about me and my lady. How 'bout it?" Everyone nodded, with a few of the Sisters giggling with excitement. The Badgerlord told the many wonderful times between the two, such as when they first met at a meeting in the old Brockhall when his parents ruled over the Mountain, how their relationship became complicated when she moved back to the Highlands, and finally, when they married not to long ago. By the end, there was not a dry eye in the room (Well, besides James, who was still deeply moved, but not going to show it. An Owl and Elder had to keep a reputation you know). The crowd, much like the other performances, jumped up in cheer, glad to hear such a redeeming tale.

   On his way back to his spot, Søren nodded to Gonff to go up there. Fear stung the fox, who was dreading going to perform. Mask caught the Badger's glimpse, and nodded to her new found friend.
"Hey, are you going up there?" She whispered carefully.
"Um, er, I-I guess so."
"Well you better go up there before Sandpaw starts on some military planning speech." He smiled at her, then rose. Many 'Excuse me' and 'Sorries' came from the Recorder as he made his way to the front. When he was finally there, he was scared straight. The beady, ready eyes of his Abbey family stood there, watching him form all angles.
"Well, Um. Hello there everyone. I just wanted to put out this poem I wrote a while back. It's not very good, at all really. But um, yeah. Hope y'all like it." With a very, almost dangerously large breath, he pulled out the small scroll and started to read his poem.





As the crow flies,
It doesn't seem like much,
This world we live on,
From above.
But I tell you,
It is much more,
Than what he sees,
As the crow flies.

As the crow flies,
Mountains only dots.
But from our view,
They are giants of rock.
Adorned with powder,
Cold as cold itself.
But all this is a mere speck,
As the crow flies.

As the crow flies,
Forests are patches of rich green.
Our earthbound view is different,
The grand gathering of old friends.
Their suits crafted with hard bark,
And top hats green as luscious grass.
Just a spot this all is,
As the crow flies.

As the crow flies,
Trickles are what rivers seem.
But the way we see it,
Roaring lanes of the substance of life.
The foam and spray,
Wisps and splash 'round.
A trace of water this all is,
As the crow flies.

As the crow flies,
Our world may not seem large.
Mountains small, Forests spots, and rivers oozes of water.
But I tell you,
We might seem small, yet remember,
Our view of earth is different,
Than what he sees,
As the crow flies.



To his surprise, Gonff got an overwhelming response. People were clapping and cheering for him. He quickly got a little misty eyed and mouthed the words "Thank you" while he hopped off the stage and made his way back to his newly found friend, who was clapping just as well.

   That was the last of the performances. From there, many games opened up, including basic ones like dart throwing and such, but quickly escalated to ones such as when the Brothers and Sisters lines up opposite of each other and tried to do some odd counting thing. Gonff however, strayed over to the question and book games, ones which he was quite fond of. After about an hour of that, Sky, Wylder, with the addition of BatLord began a lovely piece, starting a large and peaceful dance (Sky, however, left after the second song to go out and dance with Kit). Rain and Leatgo put on a pretty spectacular show, with the Skipper showing off his new moves learned from the Otter Celebration. Peri, the small mouse healer, found it quite hilarious to dance with Delthion who was a bit tipsy form sipping extra elderberry wine. One of the more eloquent couples was Banya and James, who put on a very fit and captivating show, with each step perfectly timed and beautiful. In the midst of the third song, one very fast and fun, Gonff got pulled into the mix by his recent habit painter, Rachel. She was quite happy that he didn't pull away, and instead tried his best to keep up with the fast paced tempo. However, it did get risky when they almost ran into Groddil and his assistants (Who each had a grasp on one his arms, twisting him around while he pleased for help)) and Cornflower and Wylder, who surprisingly was keeping up with the energetic young squirrel. Finally though, the painter and recorder parted ways, sending him back to the stairs and her to grab a quick drink. To Gonff's surprise, Sierra was there waiting for him.
"Hey there Sierra! Glad to see you here! Thought you had wall duty?"
"Ah well, everything was pretty peaceful and the roaring of this party kept pulling me to it. Plus, I never would break a promise. Saw you made a friend."
"Yup, she is very nice. I got to know quite a few people here tonight. Thank you for pushing me."
"No problem. By the way, very nice poem. Intriguing and inspirational for sure." The blue fox blushed, and nodded his head.
"Oh, thank you. Sorry you didn't get to see the other performances."
"Nah, it's fine. Say, I better be going. Filling in for Dan in the morning. See you soon."
"Now? But there is still much to do!"
"Oh, just being here for the few minutes I have has been quite filling."
"Alright. I'll make sure Del leaves a keg of October Ale up there for you in the morning."
"Please do. Night Gonff."
"Night!"

   The "Cellarbration" continued on for maybe an hour longer. Many Dibbuns began to doze off, so it was Sky's cue to go and put them to bed. Shortly following, Matthias presented himself to the crowd.
"Everybeast! Tonight has been very delightful and fun, filing all of out hearts with joy. Sadly though, it must come to an end. So, I wish all of you a happy and safe sleep tonight. Now, I must hurry to bed, before this Ale kicks in!" Slowly, the Redwallers started to disperse, helping clean then walking back to their dorms. When most were gone, Mask came up to Gonff who was helping put barrels back in their proper place.
"Hey, thanks for sitting by me tonight. It was enjoyable and fun to meet you."
"Oh, thank you for becoming my friend!"
"No problem. See you tomorrow!"
"Yes! Goodnight!"

   When everything was put up and straightened, Gonff headed off back to the Gatehouse with a sense of accomplishment. Without needing to open the old wooden door, he heard Tammo's loud snores. Oh, at least he was tired enough to fall asleep. And that was what he did. Within the hour, Gonff was fast asleep, oblivious to what would come that fateful night.

Another charming chapter, Gonff. I quite liked this line:
"Dan was bugging me the whole time for some Strawberry Fizz. He is a Dibbun I tell you, in every way shape and form!"

There were more than a few spelling mistakes, like curiosity instead of courtesy, I for in, and form instead of from. I also caught some times where a word was missing, like "to". The small things can make the difference.
Another thing I would like to note is about your dialogue tags. A lot of times you would put tags in about a character speaking in the paragraph above where they speak. It was very confusing when Gonff is talking to someone, but it describes what he is doing before he speaks instead of with him speaking. Might want to make sure your tags are with the proper speech. Lastly, it may be beneficial to put in more tags as it is. The characters become little more than floating, talking heads who are contantly getting mixed up. We need to know who is speaking without having to go back up and count every other line to find out.

You know I'm not all about the military. I can be fun too...

Everyone:  ::)

No seriously, I'm really good at fun stuff...

Everyone:   ::)

~*~*~

Anyway this was a good chapter. The only thing I really noticed was that you presented Bonaparte as a rat, when he's listed as a stoat. But I bet that is an easy mistake to make with this many characters. (Even Brian did that.) So yeah, I really liked this chapter, keep up the good work Gonff.  :)

This was awesome, I agree whole heatedly on the comment on Dan being a dibbun XD And I love how you had me and Daskar fighting.  ;D and I like how Leagto intervened. Love the ester eggs too. Seriously though Ash stole our Insane asylum!  ;D :P

Awwww, is this really how everyone see's me?  :-[ I guess I've got some work to do then.

       I didn't read through as closely as last time, but your use of adjectives and all around descriptions seemed to flow better this time around. Nothing over-the-top, but still giving clear indication as to what was going on, who felt what, general appearances, and so forth. Still need a little work on a bit of grammar (and possibly spelling), here and there, but it's still an improvement.  :) The story clearly moved along, and the stage feels well set for "tomorrow." Ready and waiting for the next one bud, good luck.  ;)

@Faiyloe: Yeah, he stooled it so hard. :P

 ::) You had been trying to convince me you where a dibbun for the longest time, now that I believe you there is no going back  ;D

And i'm dyslexic, Dan, dyslexic! This is why you are a dibbun...

Quote from: Faiyloe on April 18, 2016, 07:52:10 PM
This was awesome, I agree whole heatedly on the comment on Dan being a dibbun XD And I love how you had me and Daskar fighting.  ;D and I like how Leagto intervened. Love the ester eggs too. Seriously though Ash stole our Insane asylum!  ;D :P

We shall get it back, in time. For some reason one more thing I would have liked to see, or rather, liked to have not seen, was your nudge to the events that will come after that chapter.

Quote from: Faiyloe on April 18, 2016, 08:18:07 PM
::) You had been trying to convince me you where a dibbun for the longest time, now that I believe you there is no going back  ;D

And i'm dyslexic, Dan, dyslexic! This is why you are a dibbun...

       Hold up, when did I try and convince you I was a dibbun!? You know me better than most, how could you do this to me?  :'(  ::) ............ By the way Faiy..... You forgot to capitalize the "I" in "I'm."  >:D

Every single time I said you where level headed and mature...  ::)

And you just proved my point.  ;)

       I was just trying to get people to admit I was as insane as the rest of them, you can be nuts and level-headed at the same time.... Kinda... But still! Never said I was a dibbun  :P That'd be my brothers.

Be careful what you wish for. And teasing is childish.

This is great, Gonff! :D I thought this part was especially funny, seeing as Russa and I are the assistants:

QuoteHowever, it did get risky when they almost ran into Groddil and his assistants (Who each had a grasp on one of his arms, twisting him around while he pleaded for help)...

I'm seriously looking forward to the next chapter!

Very good, Gonff, very good! I really enjoyed the "Cellarbration". Though, think it may be premature to say Søren and V's destiny is marriage... ::)

Just a tip for those spelling and grammar mistakes: Print it and read it aloud to someone. You tend to catch things you miss on a computer when you do.

Awesome, Gonff!  I love your poem, and Wylder's, and the fact that I was telling everyone about my idea for a better school (;D), and how everyone cried about Soren and his lady except James, who had to keep up appearances.  Too funny! ;D

Quote from: Lady Amber on April 18, 2016, 10:09:22 PM
This is great, Gonff! :D I thought this part was especially funny, seeing as Russa and I are the assistants:

QuoteHowever, it did get risky when they almost ran into Groddil and his assistants (Who each had a grasp on one of his arms, twisting him around while he pleaded for help)...

I'm seriously looking forward to the next chapter!

^ THIS. Seriously, this is EXACTLY how I envisaged this happening, and a kudos for that. ^

  I really enjoyed this chapter!  :D  I thought the poems were quite nice, and I love the fact that the only mention of me is just that I'm looking for Leatgo (and then dancing with him).  xD  Though I do have one small complaint as to my characterization:  You said that Leatgo and I put on a spectacular show of dancing, but in reality I can't dance anything other than the most basic of swing dancing.  :P  I DEMAND THAT THIS BE CHANGED IMMEDIATELY BECAUSE I AM ABSOLUTELY OFFENDED THAT YOU CHARACTERIZED ME INCORRECTLY; HOW DARE YOU DO THAT?!

  ;)

  As for the story itself, I'm very invested in it.  I have one theory as to where the plot might go, but I'd rather not say in case I'm horribly wrong.  :P  Keep it up, though!  I wanna see if my theory's correct.  ;)

Loved this chapter. I was smiling for the whole thing, especially the part about me being interested in Soren's love life.  :D and also the dancing, just all in all wonderful. Can't wait for more.
Though as Skarzs mentioned, there are a few grammar and spelling mistakes but I do it as well.  :P But his suggestion about how you write your speech would help a great deal, having the action after the talking and next to it would help, and a little more action along with the talking would just fill in blind spots is all.

Quote from: Jukka the Sling on April 18, 2016, 10:53:22 PM
Awesome, Gonff!  I love your poem, and Wylder's, and the fact that I was telling everyone about my idea for a better school (;D), and how everyone cried about Soren and his lady except James, who had to keep up appearances.  Too funny! ;D

Also: I don't cry- and I would probably rather go and wash greasy pots than listen to Soren talk about V ;D

This is fantastic, and I can't wait to read more :)

You're description of me being disheveled is very accurate haha.
(Did you use redwall-lyrics to find the poem I read? How did the website treat you? was it easy to use? Did you have any problems with it?)

In real life, taking care of dibbuns would not be my thing ;D Guess I underestimated the harsh work of a badgermum! ;D

Good chapter, Gonff, and I'm excited for the next. Strive to give everyone a chance under the spotlight.

Quote from: Wylder Treejumper on April 19, 2016, 07:30:23 PM

Quote from: Jukka the Sling on April 18, 2016, 10:53:22 PM
Awesome, Gonff!  I love your poem, and Wylder's, and the fact that I was telling everyone about my idea for a better school (;D), and how everyone cried about Soren and his lady except James, who had to keep up appearances.  Too funny! ;D

Also: I don't cry- and I would probably rather go and wash greasy pots than listen to Soren talk about V ;D

Actually, I don't think I'd cry about Soren and V in real life either. ;D  It's still really funny, though.

Also, your post is gold. ;D

I really like this one. Of course, was probably crying of laughter when Soren told us tales of him and his lady. I have no emotions.

Quote from: Skarzs on April 18, 2016, 08:30:28 PM

Quote from: Faiyloe on April 18, 2016, 07:52:10 PM
This was awesome, I agree whole heatedly on the comment on Dan being a dibbun XD And I love how you had me and Daskar fighting.  ;D and I like how Leagto intervened. Love the ester eggs too. Seriously though Ash stole our Insane asylum!  ;D :P

We shall get it back, in time. For some reason one more thing I would have liked to see, or rather, liked to have not seen, was your nudge to the events that will come after that chapter.

NEVARRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

The only times that I cry is when I'm ill and vulnerable and watching epic films.  :P

Yeah whatever. Ya'll were in tears, I could hear the sobbing from here. ;D

Quote from: LT Sandpaw on April 21, 2016, 02:06:09 PM

Yeah whatever. Ya'll were in tears, I could hear the sobbing from here. ;D

Sobbin' of laughter, more like.

Quote from: Lord Ashenwyte on April 21, 2016, 02:23:37 PM

Quote from: LT Sandpaw on April 21, 2016, 02:06:09 PM

Yeah whatever. Ya'll were in tears, I could hear the sobbing from here. ;D

Sobbin' of laughter, more like.

That's not specifiablely important is it. ;) :D     Yes I know specifiablely isn't a word...

Great chapter, Gonff! I enjoy the festive mood of the chapter here, and look at my part! I can only laugh while reading the part when Bonaparte and I are making mischief.
(Maybe when it was Soren's turn, I would probably be in the orchard, playing and telling funny stories to the Dibbuns, having no cares to the rest of the celebration except that.)

Quote from: rachel25 on April 21, 2016, 12:15:22 PM
The only times that I cry is when I'm ill and vulnerable and watching epic films.  :P

Same here. I only cry when I want to, especially when something tragic befalls on me. But most of the time I'm crying of laughter...

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! This last chapter is my favorite! I was tipsy! ;D

On a more serious note, excellent writing Gonff! (Although I am not as experienced as some of the more knowledgeable authors here. ;D)

DUUUUUUUUUDE! It's fantastic! The Easter eggs, cameos, oh, it's all perfect! Excellent job Gonff! :D :D

^Yeah! Great chapter, Gonff!!! :D

Hahaha omg Gonff this is hilarious!

Oh man, I got a lot to respond to...


@Skarzs: Yeah, my proofing for this one was cut shorter than hoped. For some odd reason, even in my book lately, my tags have been off like that, when usually they are much nicer. I'll certainly take note of it!

@LT Sandpaw: I promise you will get some good fun in the next chapter SaLT. And oh my gosh, I comptely skipped over that. Thank you for showing me! Seems like I owe Blaggut an apology!

@Faiyloe: Oh, it's so fun to right about those things. Glad you like it!

@danflorreguba: Glad you noticed my cut backs. Thank you for what you said, it means a great ton!

@Lady Amber: Thank you! Oh, I can't wait for you all to read it!

@Wylder Treejumper: Thank you so much! But hey, this is a story of a bunch of people gathered on the Internet in animal based off a series someone else wrote. I can have some leeway somewhere  ;D

@Groddil: I jsut knew you would love that part  ;D Thank you though!

@Jukka the Sling: Thank you for the compliments! Honestly though, I am very thankful that you read the poems. Thought they would fit very well.

@Rainshadow: I personally have a bigger part planned for you in the next chapter, but I thought for now that you would be happy with Leatho. Oh, and let's just say you held on and acted smoothly while he danced. No one has to know. Thank you overall though!

@rachel25: Thank you! I really tried to make the "Cellarbration" a combination of all of the different parties we have had such as Prom and the Costume party.

@Aimless Gallivanter: Happy to know I got you jsut right! Yes, I got it from the site, and it worked mighty fine! Found what I needed in a quick instant. Personally, I think your idea of collecting the songs and such is a marvelous idea. Keep it up!

@Skyblade: Well, it seems like you are doing it perfectly fine in my story! And it's pretty hard, but I think I'm doing sub-par with including people. I have a system to use certain people for a theme of a chapter. We have a fun and relaxing chapter, get the performers out and such. Still, that is good advice.

@Lord Ashenwyte: Thank you! And may I saw, you all are being very prideful of not crying (Adds note to add more bawling later on)

@Dotti Lovegood: Glad you liked it! I gotta say, it's always fun to try to see what kind of antics I can put you and Blaggut into. Makes for great fun on my part.

@Delthion: Yes! I just knew you would like that. Thank you for your compliment! Means much more than you think!

@Søren: Oh, you must really like those Easter Eggs Søren. I mean, people were crying over you! Thank you none the less though!

@Russa Nodrey: Thank you! 'Predicate much!

@Capt. Leonardo V Williams: So happy you liked it! Added that little Orgin of Simon hint after that comment you left last time.


Okay, so I have three projects due in a week at school, so this is not one of my upmost priorities. However, I am still slowly working on it, and I promise to get going once my schedule is clear. In the mean time thought, go check out Soren's new forum fanfic. It's pretty humorous, and I'm sure you all will love it! Here is the link (Or just go back to the Fan Fic page and look)
http://www.loamhedgeabbey.com/index.php/topic,457.0.html

My only complaint with this is that it is not updated more frequently. :P

@Kitsune: Yeah, I've been working on Chapter 3 a bit, but school keeps getting in the way. I promise, in two weeks, I will start working on it again!

Quote from: Gonff the Mousethief on May 14, 2016, 06:40:01 AM
@Kitsune: Yeah, I've been working on Chapter 3 a bit, but school keeps getting in the way. I promise, in two weeks, I will start working on it again!

Yay!

Take your time, Gonff. We want you to do well in school - we're just excited is all ;D

Quote from: Capt. Leonardo V Williams on May 16, 2016, 07:17:40 AM
Take your time, Gonff. We want you to do well in school - we're just excited is all ;D

Yep.

I'm now finally done with school, so tomorrow I will began on the third chapter of the fan fic!

Yus.

That's great!

Awesome!

POSTPOSTPOSTPOST!

It's great! I love it!  ;D

@Mask: Glad you did!

Alright, here is the next chapter! Sorry if it's short, not as well written, grammar errors, etc. I promise that the next chapter will have much more effort put into it. Oh, and think of this as a sort of Chp. 3, Pt. 1 since it's short. It was either put this up, or make the chapter super long. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy!

Chapter 3



   Gonff awoke to the smell of cinder and the sound of agony. With his blurry vision he could make out the gatehouse door wide open and the tall towers of fire climbing around. Suddenly, a large shake came about the small room, throwing the Recorder out of his bed and onto the usually cold floor. Bits of dust and sandstone started to fall from the ceiling and onto the blue fox. His instincts of fear pulsed through him as he grabbed whatever documents where on his desk and ran out. The second his tail left, the structure collapsed.

   He had no idea what was going on. The fox stood on the Crimson colored wall and looked what was erupting before him. The Orchard was set aflame, letting the flicks of fire do their deadly dance across the leaves and fruit adored by the Redwallers. It's trickery also spread to the grass and Belltower, scarring it with ash. Amongst it all however was a greater sight. Dan the Wall Guard was taking on three heavy and dark figures, all dressed in tunics crafted from the nightly sky itself. His bow lay broken in half being eaten away by the fire, while his quiver and arrows stood still on his back. Surprisingly, he was dueling the creatures perfectly with two of his sharpest arrows. The quickness and agility from his strokes and energized squirrel legs overwhelmed his foes as with a few good stabs from the front and back made them fall and lie in the flames they had created. Not far from him the Badgerlord Søren was slicing away at a large group of the hidden foes. His axe swept through their lines, not letting a single one past. But they were not afraid of the axe, nor the might of the Badger; instead, it was the bright red shining through his dark brown eyes. The flames grew quicker and quicker around them as their fight journeyed on.

   Gonff was struggling to breath not only from the dense smoke, but the fear and confusion flooding his brain. But the spell of dread was soon broken as Cornflower, Tammo, and BatLord yelled out towards him further on down the wall.
"Gonff! Come on! We gotta get out o' here!" Tammo cried as he ran towards his bunkmate. The blue fox turned to the group and hurried to them, still dazed.
"W-what's going on? W-when, oh!" He asked as they rushed down the arrow covered stairs.
"We dunno! I couldn't get to the Bells fast enough to warn everybody. But we need to try to get whoever we can out!" BatLord yelled amongst the crackling of fire and clashing of weapons.
"Here Gonff, take this. I got it from the Kitchens on the way out," commented Cornflower. She tossed the Recorder a small knife used to slice what seemed like a heavy type of meat due to its ridged edges.
"Thank you Cornflower. Where shou-," He was cut off a javelin thrown by Skipper Leatgo landed in the crispy grass next to them. It's timbers were bloodstained, clearly already being used to defend the loyal's home.
"MOVE!" Yelled Leatgo, pushing them aside as he grabbed for his weapon. But it was too late. A thick black feathers arrow came soaring from the heavy smoke landing in the sweat covered back of the brave otter. A scream escaped him as his body fell, limp.
"LEATGO!" Tammo cried out, jumping down to the body of his friend. Tears immediately sprang from the Hare's eyes, so shocked from the event in front of him.

   The smoke above was quickly brushed out of the way as James broke from the sky where he had been dive bombing the attackers and took control of the situation. But before he could reach the body, another black feathers arrow shot, but was too slow for the Owl, as he caught it in his talon and flung it back, leaving only a gurgling sound coming from the edge of the thick gray air mass.
"Eul! Cover the foregrounds and head the west wall exit! Cover who ever is escaping!" The booming bird commanded.
The hawk nodded and dove down to where she was needed, duel switchblades in talon. James quickly took the limp form of the Otter Leader in his own talons and shouted down at the four. "Are there any others you've seen?"
"No, but we are trying to find them," Responded Cornflower.
"No! Get out! Hurry, we need to evacuate as many as we can!"
"But what about Sky and the Dibbuns? And the others in the Dorms, what about them?" Gonff asked in haste. The Owl gave him a direct look, making him wish he had never spoken.
"Follow Eul out to the West wall, now!" He yelled out with such vigor it put fear in everyone of them. But they still stood, even firmer as a large, deep horn blast shouted from the front gate. It's booming tone, followed by screeches produced by the attacking creatures made a coward of everyone, causing blood to curdle. Following the blast, a volley of arrows shot over.
"Into the Tower!" BatLord shouted as the three others were pulled into the Belltower. James made a quick escape and flew up above the volley and over to the West Wall. Many thuds hit the outside sandstone, shaking the structure a tad. Large clumps of smoke hung over the small area of protection. But above, next to the bells, the sounds of clashing steel and intense combat reigned. One of the duelers let out a "Gah!", alerting the four below who was in danger.
"POCKETS!" The terrified squirrel called, scurrying up the stairs toward her friend. When she made it past the layer of floating ash, she saw the scene laid out before her.

   Wylder was in an intense battle with one of the black clad beasts, both scarred and bruised from the swords of each other. The wanderer squirrel had just received a large sweep on the shoulder when his younger friend had made it to the fight. This caught the attention of the creature fighting the noble squirrel. Cornflower gazed up at him as well, and stood there in shock. The tips of its ears were solid black, pointed much like that of a cat. It's long dark tail stood relaxed much like it's easy green eyes. But its stare was focused on the female squirrel who was also transfixed on the beast. She tried to mumble something out, but hastily was grabbed by Wylder.
"Watch out below!" He called at the trio still keeping cover in the tower. With a seem-less motion, the squirrel swung a quick kick at the black cat and a swing at the rope holding the Matthias Bell.
"NO!" Were the last words the cat heard as he fell off of the top platform, then crushed by the Salamandastron crafted ringer.

   The sudden drop of the bell rung out, with each Redwaller there left with a different reaction. BatLord struggled back tears or memory and hurt as Cornflower and Wylder came down the steps, with the young squirrel still in shock by the sudden death of the cat.
"Hurry, we need to go. Tammo, take the lead, and I'll cover the rear."
The Hare shook his head and headed out, with the troubled others not far behind.

   When they made it back to the Front Lawns, more Redwall Warriors were taking up arms. Banya was beheading and stabbing two of the creatures simultaneously, with Rusvul close behind lighting one of the attackers on fire with his oil covered axe. Groddil, followed by his two assistants, came running out from the main building, avoiding the fire of arrows and well, fire itself. Seeing the chance, Tammo pointed towards them.
"Come on! Let's follow them!"
In agreement, the other four ran towards the Friar, past the warrior protecting their right to live and reside in the building. Soon, they all made it to the West Wall gate, where Jukka and Faiy were protecting with their bow and arrows. Both had a few cuts here and there, but for the most part were still in good shape to keep fighting.
"Hurry! Get on out!" Jukka called at the group, motioning for them to run faster. But Gonff tripped over his dirtied sleeping habit and fell onto the burnt grass, falling behind. Wylder helped him up and they finished out their last stretch until safety. Just as they were at the door, cries of babes came into ear shot, and the attention of the Blue fox turned and saw Sky, followed by Mhera And Rachel running to the door with the mass of Dibbuns. After them was one of creatures, gaining quickly on their tales. Angst and fear overcame the fox, but he knew something had to be done. Without a second though, he ran out, in the open battle field and fire, to protect the incoming Dibbuns. Many arrows almost landed into him, but he kept going unlit a few feet in front of the Badgermum. He closed his eyes and chunked his knife, hoping to either scare or stop the creature for a bit. But to his surprise, a yell came from the dark form. When he opened his eyes, he saw the body of the creature lying dead on the burning grass with the kitchen blade positioned in the side of the mysterious beast. A lucky shot for sure! He turned back and saw the group almost to the door, and sprinted towards them. Within the minute, the three groups of people running out where safely positioned outside the Abbey, where even more of the Warriors were out fighting.
   Much coughing ensued as the Redwallers who had made their break of freedom reached clean air. Smoke and ash, along with burns, cuts, Knicks and gashes stained all over their bodies. All of the young babes were crying, with many of the others and sorts wanting to do the same. However, cries and shouts were heard once more from the front wall. This time, another horn blasted and more arrows shot over.
"Get into the Woods! Hurry!" Wylder shouted over the chaos, pushing away brush for a nice entrance. When everyone was in the safety of Mossflower wood, they took a peak to what was unfolding under the night sky.

   On the West Wall top Ashenwyte and Sandpaw were slaughtering many. Both worked off one another, with the Badger rushing through the lines while dropping off his rat friend to clean up the the ones missed. Both their axes and sword gleaned in the fire light, watching it smote the red walls as the inhabitants smote their foes. Rainshadow was also on the wall, slaying with strokes of deadly delivery. She spotted out of the corner of her eye the group hiding back in the shrubs, and called out,
"Slings! Use Slings!"
Tammo and Cornflower immediately ripped off a bit of already torn cloth from their habits and gathered a pile of rocks up for themselves and others to use. Soon, a good amount of stones and pebbles were being flung up and over the defenders heads and down to whatever enemy was attacking down below.

   The Battle raged on, with more and more of the black creatures flooding the Abbey. Most of the Warriors who had been fighting in the foreground were now pushed back to the West Wall. Many, such as Jukka (Faiy had been knocked out by a stone) were helping other Redwallers to safety. The fires intensified as the attackers grew in numbers, with the heat and cinder flooding the air of all purity. The inside walls were blacked, the Belltower starting to crumble, and the windows in the Great Hall shattering. It was a horrendous scene for all defending. Soon enough, when two more waves of villains and arrows erupted, those left saw almost no hope left to fight for. Their home, a place of love, tranquility, comfort, all destroyed in the deathly night sky. Søren's bloodwrath was no more; Rusvul's fire axe had been dis-ignited; Dan's agility used all up; the scene was ruthless, and hopeless. But that was not what would turn them away from fighting.

   At this point, every last fighter was on the West Wall. The fight was too brutal, and whatever combat had there was was contained to simply shooting a bow or firing a sling. Suddenly, another blast from the terrible horn shot out, this time with a brutal "HOO, HAA, HOO, HAA" following it. James flew up and above the smoke to avoid another volley, but none came. Instead, what he saw was far, far worse.
"EVERYONE! OFF OF TH-,"...
It was too late.

   A sharp whistling sound followed the Owl's remark. Those on the ground looked up and saw the star scattered night sky seemingly become all black for a split second. Then it happened.
The Large boulders shot from the enemies Ballista hit dead on. The West Wall immediately toppled and crumbled down. Masses of red air escaped the ancient stone work as the sandstone bricks shattered upon impact. The once valiant Redwallers lay underneath the heap, with their only breathable air being smoke and red dust. The only thing they hear were the cries of their friends and laughs of their enemies. The only thing they saw was the red from their wounds, and the red bricks laying upon them.

   Gonff stood horrified by what he had witnessed. His eyes stood transfixed on the fallen wall in front of him, seeing the limp hand of Banya under one of the fallen bricks. The only thing that deterred him was Tammo yanking on his shoulder and pulling him away, with Matthias yelling out, "Into the Woods! Hurry!"

   The night sky reigned with blood on the wind, death in the air, and to torture in the hearts of those whose lives had been changed forever.

That was intense. A few grammatical errors here and there, but this chapter was very enjoyable.

0_0

I like it  ;D it was well-written (again, with a few grammatical errors, but it happens to all of us and they're minor), and I can't wait for another chapter!

WOW.  Is it all a dream?!  We can't be dead!  What happens next?

I really enjoyed reading this chapter!

Woah! Amazingly engaging chapter Gonff! That is some very involving writing you have there! Excellent job!

Although, I'm not exactly sure where I am or whether I'm dead or not.

        Well dang dude, that sure escalated quickly o.O Anyway, nice chapter Gonff! The descriptions of the surroundings and action were, at the very least, solid. More often than not, they felt complete and engaged me. Character placement felt natural, and the order of (operations :P) encounters felt very smooth, blending the entire thing together like a smoothie. Also, nice use of the semi-colon, props earned just for that  ::). The grammar and spelling was decent until roughly the 7th (?) paragraph where things got a little disorganized grammatically speaking. Finally, there were two instances that were a bit harder to follow, first being the bell tower incident, and the things that happened around it. I'm not sure what would have been better, but I just seemed to have a slightly more difficult time keeping track of what was happening, and to whom, though that may indeed be my problem. The second would be the wall's destruction, hard to tell what happened to whom, but I feel like that's the intention.

       Overall, solid chapter, good description, still need some fine tuning on spelling and grammar on the proof-reads (yes I saw your disclaimer, still thought it was worth mentioning). Enjoyed the read my friend, keep it up.  ;)

P.S. It might help just to get 1 other person to read it before hand, doesn't really matter who, it could be a sibling, forum-goer, etc. But we tend to miss our mistakes more than those others make. Could really help accuracy, then again, I fully understand the desire to be the sole component of one's own work, just thought I'd throw that out as an idea.  :)

@Jukka the Sling IKR? Gonff just killed like, half of us. >D

You already know that none of y'all are dead. The story never refers to any protagonist being killed or mortally wounded. The worst I see is a few beasts getting buried under some bricks.

Intense and heart-pounding chapter, Gonff!

But I wonder what happened to me and Bonaparte on it. Suppose it for us be broken away from the rest of the group, leaving us fighting in our paws until we would fall off the rubble unconscious. But I fear that you would kill some of us off.
Anyway, nice chapter as always, Gonff! I'm always hungry for more.

Woaaaaaaaaaaaah, that was intense dude. It was so cool, I love the descriptions of the invaders and the battle, oh man, it was fantastic!!!

Well, no nit-picks that I haven't said before.

Powerful chapter, but I'm a little confused by the final outcome. Who? How? Where? Why? Gah! I'm thinking the next part will help clarify.


Now I ask myself the question: Is it just as well I din't apply for a part? xD

Quote from: James Gryphon on May 29, 2016, 04:27:35 AM
You already know that none of y'all are dead. The story never refers to any protagonist being killed or mortally wounded. The worst I see is a few beasts getting buried under some bricks.

Pretty sure Leatho dies after being shot in the back with an arrow.

Quote from: Lord Ashenwyte on May 29, 2016, 07:39:47 AM
Pretty sure Leatho dies after being shot in the back with an arrow.

Apparently not. (http://www.loamhedgeabbey.com/index.php?action=profile;u=15)

For what it's worth, arrows aren't nearly as lethal in the Redwall world as in real life: Martin got shot in the paw by Tsarmina and was still good to go. The hog leader in Long Patrol got hit and he treated it as just a nuisance, like a mosquito bite. Deyna got shot in the front at least once by the best archer in the world and it didn't seem to slow him down.

Wow, this was an awesome chapter, Gonff! I totally want to see what happens next!

That was AWESOME!

Oh, that was amazing. I love how you where able to correlate the story events with what actually happened.  ;D awesome, give you a 10 thumbs up for entertainment.   ;D

Well-written chapter, and very intense. Keep writing!

Good chapter...but, I was sleeping or something...

When's the next chapter? I MUST HAVE MORE! ;D

@Lord Ashenwyte: Thanks so much! Yeah, the grammar was not the best, but I'm trying!

@Eulaliaaa!: Glad you enjoyed, and thank you for the compliment!

@Jukka the Sling: No, sadly it's all real. And I promise the next chapter will explain much!

@Wylder Treejumper: You are with the group outside in the bushes. Sorry if that wasn't clear. But thank you for the kind words!

@danflorreguba: My my! Thank you so very much for what you said Dan! I'm glad you saw much in it! And yes, I completely forgot about your reading over offer from earlier on. So very sorry about not taking you up on that. But if you are still available, then please PM me and I will send it to you when I am finished. Thank you once again!

@James Gryphon: And I just see an Owl sentry hit by a boulder who may or may not get back up. Who knows?

@Dotti Lovegood: Glad you enjoyed! Actually, I have a pretty cool part for you two that I am positive you will like!

@Søren: Thank you so very much! Makes me happy to see that you enjoyed the writing!

@Skarzs: There is a reason you feel like that  ;). And I do wish you would have joined. 31 is much better than 30.

@James Gryphon: One other thing. Brian Jacques isn't writing this one, so arrows may be more lethal in Gonff's world than his.

@Lady Amber: I totally want to see what happens too!

@Russa Nodrey: Glad you see the awesomeness!

@Faiyloe: Ten thumbs! That's like, 5 people! So very glad you enjoyed it!

@Skyblade: Thank you so very much! I certainly plan to keep writing  ;)

@Delthion: Gotta say, you had a LOT to drink last night, so that seems plausible...

@Wylder Treejumper: I plan to have Chapter 4 out that 4th of July week, since I am going to camp this week. Patriotism and Forum Fan-Fic. Pretty awesome.


So yeah, thank you all! I'm so glad you all are enjoying this! Please though, before I go on, please check out Søren's forum fan fic. It is absolutely hilarious, and I am sure you all will enjoy it.

But really quick, I just want to explain something. I wrote this chapter in a certain way. Everything was dark, things were attacking from every angle, and people were fighting an unknown enemy. Plus, the wall, with all of the heroes, it's torn down, leaving people to wonder what to do and what will happen to the Abbey. By the end, there was this sense of confusion. I did this to replicate how it felt when the old forum went down. I was lost. People around me were gone, a place where I spend so much time had been destroyed. So going forth, try to remember what you felt when the old forum went down and see if the fan-fic can replicate that. Thank you all once again.


- PoM, the Poet

Thanks for all the replies, Gonff.

Quote from: Skarzs on June 27, 2016, 06:32:43 AM
Thanks for all the replies, Gonff.

;D

@Gonff the Mousethief YOU MUST UPDATE THIS THREAD!!! ;D

*Sorry about the double-post.*

It's been almost a month now, and still no sign of updates? C'mon Gonff! We're dying for the next chapter!

^

^

Yeah Gonff, c'mon! We want more! Get off YouTube and the forum and get to work!

So sorry for not getting anything out all Summer. A lot of things I did not expect to occur after camp did, and I was left with really not a whole time to right much more than what is in my RP. Even in my book, if you read what I said in Writer's Cafe, I haven't even been able to write in my own book. But for real, I am getting this chapter out as fast I can now. I have a good chunk done, and will hopefully finish it up Thursday or Friday. So by next week it should be up. If not, then you can burn me at the stake in the Cellars. Sound good! Okay, I'll be on it!

- PoM, the Poet

Excellent! ;D

Look, a whole month later than promised! Well, here is the fourth chapter! I didn't get to use a whole lot of you, but I believe I managed to get everybody in it this time. Chapter 5 will be much more action packed than this one, so sorry for that. And Dan, I was going to send this to you to help check over it, but this was the last day I could because I am having surgery tomorrow and will be out until Monday, when I have a full day, than another one Tuesday, than school. So yeah, very sorry about that. Nevertheless, enjoy!


Chapter 4

Many cries from babes and Dibbuns echoed in the night sky. Tears dropped and heads sunk from the older Abbey folk as well, who sat in shock in the small woodland clearing. Over the treetops, as dark as they was, smoke rose, giving an awful and terrible reminder to what had occurred only hours ago. Gonff looked around at the others. Sky was caressing the heads of horrified youngsters. Peri was looking at the broken wing of James, while Wylder and Treejumper had on a solemn rock together in tears. Jukka was pouring some cold water found from a nearby brook on Faiyloe to wake her, but to no avail. The blue fox turned to look at his bunkmate Tammo beside him. The poor hare seem depressed beyond speaking. Ever since the Belltower he had not uttered a single word, and it seemed he wouldn't for a while more. But above all, Matthias sat with dirt staining his royal Habit, feeling the worse out of all of them. Over and over he mumbled, "Why? Why me, why us?" And "How?" Those were questions not only on his troubled minds, but on everyone's. Gonff sat their tearing up at the thought of all the ones lost at the Abbey. Dan, Soren, Dotti, all of them now dead. But above all, the Abbey itself was gone. How many seasons had it stood, untouched and defending off all who tried to take it over. It was a symbol of hope in Mossflower, some place for tranquility and peace. But it was gone. So were its records, people, walls, and meaning. There was nothing that could be done. That fact alone caused Gonff to curl up like most the rest, and simply, sadly, cry.

Amidst his crying, the blue fox heard a muttered gulp. He turned with his blurry vision to look upon the awakening figure of Faiyloe, now covered with brook water.  Jukka quickly stopped the pouring and let the drowned soul recover.     
"W-, w-, what happened? Where are we?" she spouted out, looking around franticly at the deep foreboding woods. The squirrel also noticed the majority of her abbey family crying, or in deep sorrow.
"After you were knocked out, we got as many as we could to safety, but," cut off Jukka as she wiped her face on her bloodied, dust covered habit.
"The best warriors we had got pushed back to the wall. There, the enemy shot something at it, hitting me from the air and ripping the wall down." James added, sighing in the thought of the loss of life. Faiy sat up, her wide eyes now become a murky ocean like the others. Cornflower and Jukka went over and held her as she bawled louder than any of the others. The blue fox Gonff gazed up at them, and felt another wave of sorrow hit him. Never in his life had he been this helpless, hurt, grieved, or empty.

   An hour passed, and the black night sky still stood, with the light smoke and cheering slowly fading from the upper tree line. A few of the younger Dibbuns faded off to sleep, while a majority still sat whining. The abbey dwellers now just sat in silence. An occasional sniffle, or a cough of defeat sounded, but no one spoke. Now was not a time of fellowship, but of suffering. And because of that, not a single one of them noticed the sleek, silent creature moving just behind their backs. It stalked its way around their small circle of sadness, gathering why they sat where they did. In both its hands were two axes, already dripping with blood, hidden however by its slick shadow. Even if one of them had seen it, they would not be able to make out what it was. Finally, after a good couple rounds, the creature stopped right behind the sulking Cellar Keeper and Friar; Delthion and Groddil. In the small amount of moonlight there was, its axes gleaned as it lifted them up into the air.
A loud crack was heard by everybeast, startling them. Groddil let out a quick shout as a burly Otter suddenly appeared on the log next to him, with two bloody axes stuck right between them.
"Roc?" Gonff asked in a hush tone.
"Aye mate, it be me," the Otter answered with the same style of voice. "Say, what happened? Why are you all out o' the Abbey?" he asked.
Still a bit shocked by the sudden surprise of Roc appearing, many of the beasts gave a worried glance to one another. Quickly after however, James sat up with his broken wing now wrapped in some torn cloth.
"We were attacked by this massive hoard of these black, things. They started to burn and overrun Redwall, so we managed to get only us out. The fighters stayed back, but were crushed to death when they shot boulders and knocked the wall down."
The otter captain sat horrified by the sentry's tale. Tears too began to fill up in his eyes.
"When, when did this happen?" he asked, still struck by the horrid news.
"No less than a few hours back," Mhera responded to him.
Silence occurred for a few minutes more as Roc processed the information.
"It must've been the same band, or some o' their stragglers then," the otter mumbled. A couple of the keen eared Redwallers turned towards him.
"What do you mean?" asked Gonff. It certainly didn't seem that just a group of stragglers had taken over the Abbey. The sorrowful face of Roc turned toward his fox friend.
"Earlier, just before dark, me Holt was attacked. They came and burned down everythin' we had. All our boats, tents, supplies, all o' it. We tried to fight them back, but I couldn't even tell what they were. Before I knew it, I had been pushed so far back, that no o' me crew were still with me. All I could hear were the screams, the agony, and the pain. So I tried to get here fast as I could, but still had to be stealthy. Shocked me to find that the main group had already a made it here."
Sighs of pure grief echoed through the group as they started mumbling off their sadness to the Holt leader.
"Roc mate, so sorry to hear that. Those were some very fine folk," BatLord responded, coming up and patting him on the back.
"Yes, I had a, a great deal of friends there," added Russa, with a following, tearful nod from Amber.
"Th-thank you all. I just hope a couple o' them made it out."
   Just like before, silence endured on the camp. Sky sat, Dibbun covered, asleep along with Mhera, Cornflower, Groddil, and Mask. Those who had not drifted off either lay staring into the rich night sky, or tried to hide their sniffling and bygone tears. Roc, once the fox friar had fallen asleep, went over to the tree by which Gonff sat. The blue fox's eyes were not only blood shot with pain, but also of fear. Roc gave him a hard pat on the shoulder and sat next to him.
"Of all the generations of Redwallers that I have studied about Roc, read and learned about, they all seemed to be able to ward off an attack. Cluny, Gulo, the Marlfoxes, in the past we defeated all of them. Why now have we failed? Why have we failed like this?"
The Otter knew how much Gonff cared for Redwall. He was no warrior, but he would try to preserve it at all costs.
"You know mate, I have no idea. It seems you all had the best o' the best out their fighting. I thought the same o' me Holt. No way could we just be all killed like we were. But it happened. Maybe, it was you all chosen because you all can get it back. Restore it, make it greater than ever before. I know this here lot, and they ain't the ones that back off too easily now," Roc responded with a calm and quiet tone. He turned and saw Gonff now staring into the sky, pondering what he told him. His blue furred face changed from a slight smile, to an almost tearful look. Soon that jumped to a spiteful gaze, but that diminished to just a basic pondering look. A look, which with much practice, always is a sign of something great.

   Suddenly, while Gonff sat thinking, a large rumble of the bushes sounded. Wylder, who had been sunken behind a rather large tree, stood with sword drawn and slowly made his way over. Those watching slowly scooted back not knowing what may be hiding so close. A sudden gasp came from the bushes.
"W-Wylder," it pushed out. James hobbled up and ran to the nearby bush, pushing back the sword-drawn squirrel.
"BANYA!" he screamed, pulling the almost unrecognizable Otter from the foliage. She was bruised so bad she could barely see, scars littered her body like her own fur, and about half of her rudder was gone and bleeding out. Peri and Faiy ran to help her up, while Delthion helped up another creature who was battered beyond belief.

   Both were laid down with their heads on a patch of piled fall leaves. Water was poured on both, revealing past the thick layer of red dust a fox on the verge of death and an Otter coughing in utter pain.
"Rus! Hold still!" Peri said as she poured some of the brook water mixed with a couple of local herbs over two large gashes on both of his bruised legs. "Russa! Go and grab some of more dandelion! Hurry now! Amber, refill this flask please," she yelled while holding pressure with a doc leaf to the cut end of Banya's rudder. The rest who were not fetching errands for the stressed out nurse gathered around and looked in awe at their friends. Whatever torture had been brought upon them in the few hours between the Ravaging of Redwall and their return to the simple folk had been much more than either of them deserved. It seemed Banya had been carrying Rus, with both out of breath from obvious running. But back at the Abbey, something had been brought upon them (Besides a wall of course).

   Rus started to fall unconscious, but Peri smacked him in the face and kept tying old habit pieces around his legs. Banya lay still, gasping for air while James hushed her down. So many emotions ran through everybeast as they all looked upon the situation as hopeful, but did not want their own to die in front of them like this. The two kitchen assistants made it back in stellar time and delivered the ingredients to Peri.

   After a good ten minutes of tying, rubbing, splashing, and, well screaming, Rus and Banya started to mutter out information.
"Th, they took us all," the fox spat out, trying hard to keep down this awful elixir poor Peri shoved down this throat.
"Aye, beat us with our own weapons. Me axes took me rudder, and were used to torture Soren."
The group stopped in shock. Sky had to sit down as tears already started to fly from her eyes. But the two continued.
"Leatgo, they beat him until his whole body was purple, yet he still w, would not wake," Rus continued while nodding for more water. "Rain was taken away and to the pond since sh, she would not stop yelling and crying to Leatgo."
While more cries sounded, Banya told the next part of the tail.
"They had us hung by our feet in Great Hall. Ash, oh Ash. Him and Sandpaw kept, kept mocking those, black things. Finally the one ordering what was going to happen to each of us had gotten enough, and sliced the footpaw off the poor soul. And, and they chopped Sandpaw's tail off as well. Both of them went unconscious and were brought down to Cavern Hole. The same thing happened with Dan and those two who got left behind when you all left, Ashleg and Daskar."
By now, Gonff was back by his tree sulking over the news. Delthion and James stood tearing up, while Cornflower, Rachel, Jukka, and many others started to bawl over the shear horror happening at their Abbey. Roc was leaning against another tree, hitting as he heard what they had done to Leatgo. Wylder went back to his hidden place where cries rang out. But above all, Matthias stood his head bowed and tears just slipping down. If anyone was to be broken, it was him.

   All of it, the crying, suffering, pain, it angered the blue fox. No one had ever gotten away with taking over Redwall and torturing their friends. No. One. If what Roc said was true, then they were going to take it back and free their friends.
"You said they were not dead, right?" Gonff called as he stood and walked over the sufferers.
"Those in there with us were on the brink of dying, but they still were breathing," answered Rus. "I can't say about those who were brought elsewhere, can you Banya?"
The Otter shook her head.
"No, the only one I saw who was taken away yet still alive was Rain. And that was while we escaped. The way we did that, was I had a spare knife in my boot. I was able to shake it out and let if fall to my hand. Rus was, was next to me, so once I was freed I cut him loose. But the guards saw us, and we had to run for it. I carried him since his legs were in such bad condition, and we escaped by running over the fallen wall. Rain was there by the pond, with those same black creatures dunking her in and out with only a gasp in between. Rus said he saw you all start to run when the Ballista fired, so we followed that way and fell when we got here," Banya answered.
Gonff nodded to the both of them, trying hard to think while many more cries exhausted from the mouths of the Redwallers.
"Then we must go back for them!" Gonff shouted up and over the mourning. This caught their attention. "Redwall was founded as a symbol of hope in Mossflower, built by friends, allies, and family. So what if the Abbey is gone? We still embody that! And what would we be showing if we left those who defended our lives, our own brothers and sisters back their? What hope would be brought to them?"
A puzzled and doubtful reaction followed. But it was soon dismayed as the mighty booming voice of Matthias echoed Gonff's thoughts.
"He is right. An Abbot is supposed to protect and offer the welcome feeling of Redwall to all those in need. But it seems that we, us, are now Redwall. No longer to we have an Abbey, but we have each other. And no matter the risk, we should never leave us, or anybeast behind."
Slowly, the hurt, burdened, horrified group nodded their tearful heads.
"Aye t'the two o' you!" Del shouted, jumping up from his log.
"I'm with you!" Cornflower surprisingly said, even as tears still streamed down her face. More and more shouts from those such as Faiy, Rachel, BatLord, Jukka filled the air. For the first time all night, the Abbot smiled.

   Gonff felt a cold paw grab his shoulder. He turned and saw the beaming figure of Tammo standing behind him. A proud glance came upon the Gatekeeper.
"Looks like you made some friends then ol' lad," Tammo told him. Gonff's eyes swole a tad as he patted the back of his Hare friend.
"It looks that way, don't it?"

   After all had agreed to going and saving their friends, James hushed down the group.
"Alright, alright everybeast. Now, this seems like a piece of Redwall history. And whenever a pact like this was made, a list of names was compiled of all the warriors who fought. Now, thanks to Gonff here, there is some extra room here on this old Loamhedge document for all of us to sigh our names. One at a time, come line up and sign your name, then we shall discuss how we should approach this."
Everybeast nodded in agreement to the owl sentry and lined up behind him. But as James began to write with the extra quill he had tucked away in his habit, Rus tried standing and fell right into him! A long line was scribbled onto the ancient paper. A few coups of laughter came from the line as James started to complain.
"Rus! Oh, now look, you ruined my signature!" James busted out has he raised himself from the ground and back to the log where the document was set.
"Well maybe you should try barely having legs to use!" Rus yelled back at him.
The owl stood amazed as the rest of them kept signing the paper without letting him redo his own.
"Hey, let me correct mine please! This will show generations away the fine sentry I was!"
"Well they will see it quite well from that line," Mhera tossed back to James, followed by the first good batch of laughter in a long time.

   Now, after that was completed and stored away in Roc's sack, James accompanied by Roc and Gonff stood in the center of the group.
"Okay, first things first. Who will be our fighters, and who will be the rescures?" James asked. The hands of Wylder, Faiy, Roc, and even Tammo popped up. "That is a fine batch. Each of you will be set to go to a different point of the Abbey with a group of rescuers, which will be the rest of you. Now, where were all of them kept again?"
Banya lifted her battered self up and against a tree.
"Some were in Great Hall like me, me and Rus. Others were taken to Cavern Hole, the Dorms, and to the Pond."
James nodded. With a twist of his bandaged wing, he pointed to the fighters.
"Wylder, you will take your group to Great Hall and free those there. Faiy, you take only, let's say three to the Dorms and free those. Tammo, I will go with you to Cavern Hole in case many of those black things are hiding down there."
"But where were most of them at?" Gonff called out to Rus, hoping he saw something while being carried over the rubble.
The fox took a few moments before recalling the memory.
"Most of them were on the Front Lawns burning extra things they had found, as well as the monster ballista, creating a massive bonfire."
Gonff winked and him and continued to James.
"Well, than we must enter behind the main Abbey building. If not, than the majority will see us and we will be wiped out again. Plus I doubt they will have guards anywhere other than where the prisoners are kept."
James quickly traced the Abbey on his paw and saw how the entrance would work.
"Okay, that should be suitable. The East Wall gate it is then."
"Oh, and James mate, I'll get Rain. I can sneak well and dive in the Pond. There I'll give those brutes a surprise. 'An say, what kind of weapons do we have to use? I o' course got me axes, but what of you, or Del, or BatLord?" asked Roc. James once again struck a thinking pose and looked around at all of the dry eyes around him.
"Well, we have two axes, a sword from Wylder, two knifes from Banya and Faiy, and I guess kick boxing from Tammo. We could, just, um. There is, well,
James started to worry a bit, for this was not something he had planned.
Gonff saw the distress of the sentry and thought quickly of some solution.
"Whoever goes to Great Hall, grab Martin's Sword from the farthest wall. It should still be there. And whoever goes to Cavern Hole, sneak through the kitchens and arm with knives, forks, whatever is still left. The Dorm people, I guess just stick really close to Faiy."
James let out a sigh as everyone started chatting about which way group they would join. While in the midst of that, Banya called Gonff over.
"I don't think me and Rus will be able to make it. Wel'll just stay back here with Sky and the Dibbuns. Here, take this knife and go with Faiy please. Eul probably will be kept in the attic, so remember to check there," the Otter said with a small smile.
"Will do Banya. And don't fear, we will make it back here. Every last one of us."

   The group of Redwallers, minus Sky, Banya, and Rus, all lined up and began their way through the quiet Mossflower trees. It was dead of night, and their attackers were celebrating their triumph. But it was also dead of night to another group, who were about to take the misery brought upon them and turn it into something far greater.

Great chapter Gonff! :D

I seriously doubt some of them will still be alive after the description of the beatings they received. . .

Poor Dan, trapped in Cavern Hole with the self-proclaimed King and fake abbot.

I think you messed up here, "while Wylder and Treejumper had on a solemn rock together in tears."

My favorite part was James' scream of horror.

Awesome chapter, Gonff!!!

Great chapter.

       Nice chapter dude! Accents could use a little bit of fine tuning, and the stutter needs a teansy tweak. The description of what happened to the beasts now in the Abbey was a little bit tricky to follow at points, but most everything else was pretty straight forward, and flowed well. Good luck with your surgery Gonff, God bless!

Well, now I feel less bad for the ever-darker Mafia stories I have planned. Wow dude, geeat job! I bet the next chapter will be great too!

Great chapter, Gonff!

Quote from: Rosie Willowwater on August 09, 2016, 06:26:23 PM
Great chapter Gonff! :D

So glad you enjoyed! Totally didn't write six of the eight pages in two days and mess up millions of times or anything  ;D.

Quote from: Skarzs on August 09, 2016, 06:48:25 PM
I seriously doubt some of them will still be alive after the description of the beatings they received. . .

Who said any of them were still alive? Banya only saw a few breathing and taken away. Those black things may have a taste of single foot badgers or unconscious squirrels.

Quote from: Lord Daskar on August 09, 2016, 08:23:30 PM
Poor Dan, trapped in Cavern Hole with the self-proclaimed King and fake abbot.

I think you messed up here, "while Wylder and Treejumper had on a solemn rock together in tears."

My favorite part was James' scream of horror.

Yeah, I didn't even notice that at all. I'll be sure to fix it! And I truly liked that part as well. This chapter had a lot of James jabbing for sure  ;).

Quote from: Russa Nodrey on August 09, 2016, 08:30:11 PM
Awesome chapter, Gonff!!!

I must be doing something good to get three exclamation points! Thank you so much Russa!

Quote from: Lord Ashenwyte on August 10, 2016, 01:43:52 AM
Great chapter.

Why thank you! (Sorry about the foot by the way. Gotta add that creepiness somehow).

Quote from: danflorreguba on August 10, 2016, 04:21:30 AM
       Nice chapter dude! Accents could use a little bit of fine tuning, and the stutter needs a teansy tweak. The description of what happened to the beasts now in the Abbey was a little bit tricky to follow at points, but most everything else was pretty straight forward, and flowed well. Good luck with your surgery Gonff, God bless!

Thank you so much Dan! Yes, I have a usual way of placing in those stutters and accents, but I guess I really fell through on those things this time. And those descriptions were quite spontaneous, but that will clear up next chapter. Promise. And my surgery did go well by the way, so thank you very much for that! I'm still stuck on a pudding and yogurt diet so I don't rip any of my teeth out, but I'm recovering!

Quote from: Søren on August 11, 2016, 05:47:59 PM
Well, now I feel less bad for the ever-darker Mafia stories I have planned. Wow dude, geeat job! I bet the next chapter will be great too!

Oh, I can't wait to read those Soren! Thank you so much, I really am happy you enjoyed it!

Quote from: Lady Amber on August 12, 2016, 02:08:24 AM
Great chapter, Gonff!

Thanks so much! I gotta say, I wish you and Russa could be sisters in the story, because there are so many times I wish to use 'the sisters' instead of 'The otter and the squirrel'. But oh well, gotta work with what you got!

Really cool chapter.  A couple times it was tricky to tell who was talking, but overall, good!

I say, impressive chapter as always, Gonff!
Though I wonder what kind of fate has treated me and Bonaparte who are supposedly trapped below the ruins. I hope it's kinda bittersweet or something.

Hey Gonff, do you know when the next chapter will be out?

Finally got caught up on this. Nice work, Gonff! :)

Quote from: Gonff the Mousethief on August 13, 2016, 02:19:39 AM
say, I wish you and Russa could be sisters in the story, because there are so many times I wish to use 'the sisters' instead of 'The otter and the squirrel'. But oh well, gotta work with what you got!

Wait, they aren't? Why not?

They're all named after squirrels, so usually they're all cast as squirrels.

       Different species I think, hence, "otter squirrel thing."

Well yeah, but why are they different species?

Quote from: James Gryphon on August 22, 2016, 03:41:25 AM
Well yeah, but why are they different species?

I thought they were both squirrels.

Good plot twist. It's thoughtful of you to write this for the forum.

Quote from: James Gryphon on August 22, 2016, 03:41:25 AM
Well yeah, but why are they different species?

When Gonff first started writing the fanfic, he had that character sheet that we all filled out; I put myself as an otter and Russa put herself as a squirrel. Jukka is something else, I think, but I can't remember what.

I believe she was a ferret. You could be adopted siblings. I have an otter that is brothers with a squirrel in the Gadna story.

Quote from: Faiyloe on August 31, 2016, 06:20:12 PM
You could be adopted siblings.

Hmm, maybe.

@Gonff the Mousethief Do you think the next chapter will be done soon?

Quote from: Rosie Willowwater on September 11, 2016, 10:27:44 PM
@Gonff the Mousethief Do you think the next chapter will be done soon?

Quote from: Kitsune on September 11, 2016, 11:38:14 PM

Quote from: Rosie Willowwater on September 11, 2016, 10:27:44 PM
@Gonff the Mousethief Do you think the next chapter will be done soon?

Quote from: Delthion on September 11, 2016, 11:41:23 PM

Quote from: Kitsune on September 11, 2016, 11:38:14 PM

Quote from: Rosie Willowwater on September 11, 2016, 10:27:44 PM
@Gonff the Mousethief Do you think the next chapter will be done soon?

Quote from: Rosie Willowwater on September 21, 2016, 12:33:16 PM

Quote from: Delthion on September 11, 2016, 11:41:23 PM

Quote from: Kitsune on September 11, 2016, 11:38:14 PM

Quote from: Rosie Willowwater on September 11, 2016, 10:27:44 PM
@Gonff the Mousethief Do you think the next chapter will be done soon?

^^ PREACH!!

That got dark fast.  :P Good chapters, the description is good and the overall feeling of loss. However, it might just be because I have a tiny screen, but I'm finding it quite hard to read the dialogue. Would you be able to do another paragraph jump between them please?

Side note, this song fits what's just happened. (Ignore video)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jGc7vNBRAYk&index=94&list=LLC-airPNzuI_GJbPIFVwoCw (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jGc7vNBRAYk&index=94&list=LLC-airPNzuI_GJbPIFVwoCw)

@Gonff the Mousethief Any news?

Quote from: Peony on October 11, 2016, 03:33:06 PM
@Gonff the Mousethief Any news?

Gonff has stated somewhere that he will update the fanfic hopefully by the end of October.

So, school has taken a dreadful turn and caused me to write a ton of stuff not relating to this. I have been slowly working on it for some time, but, since today is Redwall's 30th Anniversary, I thought as my gift to all of you for making me love this series even more, I'd go ahead and put out the part 1 of Chapter 5! This chapter will be very long, so I went ahead and finished up at a good stopping point to get this out today. Hope you all enjoy, and stay tuned for part 2 in the coming weeks!



Chapter 5 (Part 1)



   The thumps of the former Abbeybeasts died out upon arrival of their former home. Wild, wicked, ungodly screams tore their way throughout what was left of Redwall. Billows upon billows of a jet black smoke emitted from each building of the Abbey, and tossed itself around like a squirrel finding a new forest on the once great Front Lawns. The orchard trees, who only yesterday provided marvelous fruits and shady areas of rest and companionship and been uprooted with brute forced and tossed into piles alight with a dreadful, flickering fire, with who knows what else. What a terrible, terrible sight it all was.

Sniffles and the occasional squeak came from the group who arrived at the fallen wall. James went ahead and peaked over the topmost bricks (covering himself in the ancient soot in the process), and confirmed Rus' accusations. The mighty ballista was being burned with their orchard. He had to retreat back down as to avoid pain and the shed of tears.
"Okay," the Owl started, "We should be clear to enter over and into the back kitchens. There, we spread out for weapons, distractions, and rescues. Ready?"
The timid tremor of the sentry's voice summed up how they all felt. Scared, yet hopeful. Deserted, yet together. Lost, but soon to be rescued.

   One by one the dashed into the small kitchen door, hopping quickly over the wall. Once in, Jukka and Rachel threw open the drawers, cabinets, cupboards, all of it, and started to grab any sharp object possible. They dispensed them on the table for the ready hands to grab. Groddil quickly chose a ladle and small butcher knife, followed shortly by Amber and Russa who picked each two forks and two knives. Their squirrel leader, Wylder, called for the trio once their weapons were selected.
"Alright, you three follow my lead up to Great Hall. There, Groddil and I will take on whoever lies there, while you two cut down the hostages, got it?" The fox, otter, and squirrel all nodded accordingly.

   Tammo and James pulled aside BatLord, Mask, who had found a select amount of mallets and fishhooks under the pile of utensils. The hare began to unravel his plan.
"Us four are going down to Cavern Hole. If you two see one o' those hostages, run and get them out, me 'n James will take one those mysterious blinkin' things." They agreed to the plan, but had to wait a moment longer before departing, for James had to dust off his feathers!

   Once those two teams set off, Faiy called out to Jukka, Cornflower, Galli, and Rachel. They too, like the others, had found a couple of good stabbing weapons to be safe enough on their excursion.
"Right gals," Faiy began, "We are headed up to the Dorms, where a majority of the warriors will be. And with them, comes those creatures. Be alert, and don't get to far off. We work as a team, got it?"
"Aye, let's go!" Cornflower shouted in low kept voice. This was enough to rally their small team with energy to face grave danger.

   So, only a few remained. Matthias and Peri had decided to stay back at the kitchens to help escort their friends out and/or aid when someone fell injured. The former Holt leader, Roc, also had plans. He turned to Gonff who was still digging for a good thruster, and gave him a hardy slap on the back.
"Well mate, I'm going down to that Pond. Stay safe wherever you end up, here me?"
"Got it Roc. But I should be telling you that you old waterdog!" The blue fox replied with a muffled chuckle. When he turned to wish off his old pal, the otter had already gone out the door into the dark, ash covered night.

   His attention now turned to Delthion. The hedgehog was already staring at him with a blazing smile completely uncustomary to the situation. In his prickly hands lay a fine hammer mallet, his obvious choice. Up and down he tossed it, leaving a plump thud which echoed in the barren room. Even if this was only a small annex of the usually blustering prized Redwall Kitchens, it was never meant to have felt so desolate, or cruel. But with Del around, nothing truly could feel like that for long.
"So Gonff, where will be headed? With red feathered James, the ladies, y'pal Tammo?"
Gonff simply spread a quick grin on his face before responding.
"Not too sure. Banya told me to check the attic, so I'm guessing there, but we will have to head up the dorms which Faiy and them have already taken."
Del put on a face which appeared to be thinking. He rattled a quill here and there before arriving to a conclusion written, mailed, delivered, and received with a smile.
"We can take the other stairwell then! Might take us a bit longer, but we may just find some folk on the way up."
Gonff was pleasantly surprised. Having lived out in the gatehouse a majority of the time at Redwall, the blue fox never really found himself very familiar with the Dorms. But Del slept down in the Cellars, so his knowledge wouldn't have been that great either, right? Oh, there was no time to question the former Cellarhog.
"Sounds good then. Do you know a safe way there?"
"I'm not all to sure Mr. Mousethief, since neither of us have even seen one of our dastardly foes! But I'm sure I can manage. Come on, grab y'a weapon and let us head out!" the hedgehog piped up. He saw the little trickle of announce run itself amongst his fox companion. This was to be a fun time.
Gonff just grabbed a small crate axe which has fallen underneath the table. It seemed well enough for the moment, being balanced and all. But what was he to know about axes or weapons, the only sharp object he ever used was his quill!

   Now, the other three groups had taken the main way out which led into Cavern Hole, but the pair decided to take another route which led them through the pantry and into a small extra med-bay. It was Delthion's idea though, so if they were caught he was the prime suspect. Both crouched low when entering the pantry. Almost all of the ingredients and food had been torn out. Shelfs were scattered and splintered, boxes full of freshly picked orchard fruits and vegetables squished into an unrecognizable goo. Two large tables where many of the most glorious and memorable meals were made now ended up slaughtered, wrecked upon the bitter cold ground. This didn't cause as much horror though as the smell did. The stoves must have been lit, and something forgotten put onto them. A sudden whiff could have fallen the mightiest of warriors; for whatever was burnt must have been as wicked as those who had placed it. Del and Gonff each ripped a solid strip of an apron nearby, trying it at tightly as possible around their faces. This blocked out a majority of the smell, but couldn't tackle all of the horrendous odor. They both had to crouch low to avoid most things, mainly an enemy seeing them or the obvious burnt stench. Gonff had particular trouble avoiding the nails and splinters thrown about everywhere. Just as he lifted his paw to avoid a prime shiny poker, Delthion forced him down onto it and covered his mouth. Now the fox was mad. His left arm had barely caught the nail and now was just about impaled by it. He yanked the hedgehog's arm off and was about to rock his world. Yet, he was held back by Del's face of horror, who, at this point, was flat on the ground amongst the juices, crumbs, and whatnot. He was pointing out from behind a table at something across the room by some broken shelves. The fox's blue eyes followed his companion's point and hunkered down as well. Just a few yards away from where they both lay, one of the black creatures stood! Gonff scrambled closer to Del (minding his quills). He very carefully whispered,
"Wh-what are we going to do?"
The cellarhog was gripped by fear as well, and really, hadn't thought of much besides how much be wished to run away. Sadly, that was not an option.
"Um, well Gonff, err," replied the hedgehog. "Guess we could, attack it."
That whispered response was heartbreaking to the fox. He hated these things with a burning passion, and wanted them all dead. But so many things ran around his mind, nagging and pulling itself deeper and deeper into a pit of dreadful fear. What if they failed and he alerted the others? Or what if it killed him and Del? Oh, it was a troubling time. The pain he had already however, was changing his mind. Large glops of blood started to spray from his arm, and each nerve that fired chilled the fox with a greater fear than before. Well, a fear of what he would do with Del if they escaped. That is when his idea popped into his mind.
"Sounds good, let's go!"
Del had never been more horrified in his life. Gonff yanked him up by his apron bandanna and pointed to a small clearing behind the beast.
"Go over there and get ready to hit it," the blue fox told him in a muffled tone. He quickly nodded and slowly crept along with that dreadful smell stopping him once in a while.
Gonff however, he was in a completely different state. A war of fear and pain raged in his mind, forcing him to do such things as getting up and actually fighting the black creature. Once Del was close to his position, the fox made his move. He ducked behind one of the fallen tables next to the still oblivious foe. With his bleeding arm to his side and paws shaking, the former Abbey Recorder jumped out from behind the wreckage. A light glimmer from his axe was all that was seen as it sunk itself deep into the beast. Blood black as the night sky, hot as the enemy's bonfire scared itself upon the blue fur of the fox. Even more shot for though as Del knocked the enemy in the head with his mallet, slaying it then and there.

Wow, very dark and gripping stuff, Gonff. I'm glad you could post it today; it is fitting! Kinda wrenching to see the old Abbey put to the torch though.

My only question- which I'm sure you'll answer in part 2- is: if there are enough mystery enemies to totally destroy the Abbey, down to the material inside the cupboards, where are they now? It seems kind of sparse.

(I call killing them if I find 'em- nobody wrecks Redwall on my watch and gets away with it!)

Very nice, Gonffy! Really dark and gripping, as Pockets said. Any idea when the next half will be up? (Also, no frying pans? ;) :P)

Nice.  Can't wait to see how we rescue everyone.

Cool!

@Gonff the Mousethief  Wow. this is cool.  :o Are you going to write more??  ;D

Great job, Gonff. I'm really curious to see what these creatures are.

Quote from: Wylder Treejumper on October 16, 2016, 12:45:42 AM
(I call killing them if I find 'em- nobody wrecks Redwall on my watch and gets away with it!)

Hey, they're mine. I'll fight every last one of them the second I get free! ;D

Quote from: Eulaliaaa! on January 12, 2017, 12:31:58 AM

Quote from: Wylder Treejumper on October 16, 2016, 12:45:42 AM
(I call killing them if I find 'em- nobody wrecks Redwall on my watch and gets away with it!)

Hey, they're mine. I'll fight every last one of them the second I get free! ;D

Tell you what- We'll compete for it. Court of King Bucko style: Fighting, Wits (not necessarily insulting, though), and Food. Best two out of three. You on?

Quote from: Wylder Treejumper on January 12, 2017, 02:31:01 AM

Quote from: Eulaliaaa! on January 12, 2017, 12:31:58 AM

Quote from: Wylder Treejumper on October 16, 2016, 12:45:42 AM
(I call killing them if I find 'em- nobody wrecks Redwall on my watch and gets away with it!)

Hey, they're mine. I'll fight every last one of them the second I get free! ;D

Tell you what- We'll compete for it. Court of King Bucko style: Fighting, Wits (not necessarily insulting, though), and Food. Best two out of three. You on?

Well at the moment Wylder, you have the upper hand. She's still locked up  ;D

Oh, and the enemies are all over the Front Lawns at multiple bonfires with a couple keeping guard. Probably forgot to mention that. Whoops.



ANYway, I haven't forgotten about this, oh no. I've been quite busy since October, but will try to get the second part out as soon as possible. From there, I guess expect a chaper or two every month until completion. I really did enjoy writing this thing, so hopefully with that and my book I can keep myself occupied.

You don't know. Maybe I'm not locked up. Maybe that's why there are so little of the invaders - I killed them all with my bare talons!

Quote from: Wylder Treejumper on January 12, 2017, 02:31:01 AM

Quote from: Eulaliaaa! on January 12, 2017, 12:31:58 AM

Quote from: Wylder Treejumper on October 16, 2016, 12:45:42 AM
(I call killing them if I find 'em- nobody wrecks Redwall on my watch and gets away with it!)

Hey, they're mine. I'll fight every last one of them the second I get free! ;D

Tell you what- We'll compete for it. Court of King Bucko style: Fighting, Wits (not necessarily insulting, though), and Food. Best two out of three. You on?

You're going down, buddy.

I wish I had joined the forum earlier, it would had been so cool to be in this. ;D

Quote from: Rosie Willowwater on January 12, 2017, 11:05:53 PM
I wish I had joined the forum earlier, it would had been so cool to be in this. ;D

Don't worry: I got plans for a lot of you.

Quote from: Rosie Willowwater on January 12, 2017, 11:05:53 PM
it would had been so cool to be in this. ;D

Yeah.

Quote from: Gonff the Mousethief on January 13, 2017, 02:43:21 AM

Quote from: Rosie Willowwater on January 12, 2017, 11:05:53 PM
I wish I had joined the forum earlier, it would had been so cool to be in this. ;D

Don't worry: I got plans for a lot of you.

Yaaay!  ;D

Well, @Gonff the Mousethief

Are you interested in continuing this?
(I confess I haven't read through it all, but I'm busy right now.)

Yeeeeeeaaaahhhh, about that...

I don't think I'm going to finish it not only because of time and such but because I really don't remember much of where it's going. The entire plot revolved around something that happened years ago with completely different people. It really wouldn't even apply nowadays. But, if someone else wanted to right a completely new one that would be pretty cool.

So, sorry Rosie and rrrrr, looks like y'all didn't make it in after all ;D

Yeah, I suppose the original plot is critical isn't it?

.....Weeeeeellllllll..........Iiiiiiii suuuupppooosee.....I...could restart it....Won't be anywhere near as good as this, but I could try, once my school year's over... I was thinking about writing a forum minutes document to log what's gone down in the Cellars......Ah I dunno.

Yeah, just a tad bit.

Oh, I think that would be fantastic! If you want probably a better basis I know Jukka did something like this before I did and it was a massive hit. Plus doing a new one with all these new members would be a great piece of forum history. Just make sure to not give up on it like I did.