Corrupt-a-Wish

[Delthion]

Granted, you turn into nothingness.

I wish that I could. I don't know, something involving Middle-Earth.

[James Gryphon]

Granted. Not only do you not know anything about Middle Earth, but you've never even heard of the books it appears in. You have no clue who J.R.R. Tolkien is, and when someone mentions his name to you, you say, "Wasn't she the one that wrote that book about the kid with the glasses?". After hearing you say that, a group of enraged fanboys starts stalking you.

I wish that I didn't get bored.

[Delthion]

Granted, you become Jack Bauer, with intrigue and terrorists going on all the time, never leaving you with a moments peace.

I wish for something, I'm running out of things to wish for.

[Rainshadow]

  Granted!  You get a giant platypus bear that wants to eat you!  Congratulations! 

  I wish that it wouldn't stop raining, but that the rain wouldn't damage the earth in any way.

[Delthion]

Granted, the earth turns into a giant swamp. But didn't harm it while turning it into a swamp.

I wish for new things to wish for.

[Rainshadow]

  Granted!  You now wish that you could turn into a mosquito, and that wish is also granted.  Unfortunately, you make the mistake of trying to feed off of someone, and they squish you.  Too bad.  Shoulda been more careful what you wished for!

  I wish that more people would visit my kingdom in the Cellars.

[James Gryphon]

ninja'd: Granted, but all of your wishes are terrible, like that the bogeyman was real, or that children would go hungry, or that it would be always winter but never Christmas, and all of them come true. When people figure out that your wishes are the source of their misery, you lose all of your friends, are thrown into a deep dungeon, and are allowed to eat only thin gruel for the rest of your boring, miserable life.

Granted, but they don't post anything, and they ignore you whenever you mention it. You are left very lonely and sad.

I wish that I was the world's greatest writer.

[Rusvul]

Granted. Your books are good, but nobody likes them.

I wish that I was telekinetic.

(trololololololol)

[Delthion]

Granted, but a new law is passed: All those with telekinesis must be executed.

I wish to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony!

[Rainshadow]

  To quote James, "Ninja'd."  Granted!  But, unfortunately, all of your ideas are stolen, and once you finish any sort of story, someone copies it and publishes the story before you can.

  Granted!  However, all of the items you attempt to move are pulled very quickly towards you, and if you don't stop trying to move them soon enough, they will smack you right in the face.

 I wish that I could play all of Lego The Hobbit, including the DLC, without having to pay for anything.  (Currently waiting for my brother so we can get back to the level in the second movie with Gandalf and Radagast.  The one where they go into Dol Guldur.)

[James Gryphon]

Granted, but the way you were able to do it is by stealing it. Your guilty conscience keeps you from enjoying the game, and even though you pay for it later, you're never able to get over having committed a crime. You end up uninstalling it right before you get to the end of the game.

I wish that I was always clean.

[Rainshadow]

  Granted!  However, to make up for your cleanliness, everyone else in the entire universe (save me) is horribly dirty.

  I wish that I could drink cherry Coca Cola without getting a headache.

[James Gryphon]

Granted; you get a stomach ache and muscle cramps instead.

I wish that I wouldn't waste so much time.

[Delthion]

Granted, you may not do anything except work all day. Not even sleep.

I wish for: Nothing.

[Rusvul]

Granted. Your humble wish attracts a wealty friend, who gives you lots of money, thus giving you something indirectly.