Redwall Abbey

  So, I've been thinking. What if there was a Redwall fan fiction about superpowers? It may sound dumb or cheesy, but I think I might be able to pull it off. If I can't make it good, well, at least I tried. I hope you guys like it...

Ch. 1



   The fox's expression gave away her shock as the odd squirrel across the bar locked eyes with her. The fox, Stashi, closed her mouth after letting her jaw drop slightly, then shifted in her chair and tried to ignore the squirrel. His orange eyes flickered with red and yellow, resembling a fire and standing out with his ashy grey fur. Though they were cold and unforgiving. Both of the travelers stood out in the bar, from their clothes, to their behaviour, to the unearthly look in their eyes. Stashi pulled at the neck of the bulky black trench coat so that it hid more of her face. Her belt had several daggers thrust into it, and she knew how to use them.

  The squirrel she was ignoring began to fidget with the sleeves of his reddish-brown jacket, then pulled the black flat cap on down farther over his eyes. The broadsword slung sideways across his back reflected the light of the torches in the room dangerously, though he rarely ever needed it.

  Both travelers were interrupted by a small group of woodlanders wandering up to the squirrel, their self-appointed leader pushing him, "Ey matey, this 'ere is our... bar. An'... you're in it. Now why doncha jus'... leave an' save yerself th' trouble, K?" He belched loudly.

  Stashi watched as he looked up at the drunk mouse, an expression of boredom on his face, "This bar isn't yours, mouse. Leave me along, I haven't finished my drink yet."

  The mouse shoved him harder this time, "Does i' loo' like I care? Now leave, an' ne'er come back!" He shouted.

  At this, the fox rose from her seat, rushing over to the mouse and his small group, "Hey, don't you talk to him like that! Leave him alone!"

  The squirrel leapt up, "Stashi, go! I don't need you, you've hurt me enough!" He roared.

  Stashi turned to face the squirrel, "Ashen please, let me help you. I'm sorry, please, let me make it up to you," she begged.

  The mouse chuckled, "Eyyy, why you fightin'? Tha's no goo', mateys," he stumbled over the words drunkenly.

  "Stashi no," Ashen yelled, "There's no way you can make me forgive you. Leave, I don't know why you're here, leave."

  "You think I knew you were here? No, this was a coincidence, Ash. Just let me make it up to you, I'm begging you. Please forgive me," she pleaded.

  Ashen slammed his fist down on the table, sending sparks everywhere, "Shuttup! Don't call me that, vermin. Go away!" At that last part, his fist lit on fire and he swung his arm at her, missing Stashi and hitting the mouse instead. Fire shot from his paw, hitting several other creatures. They all screeched in agony as he watched, terrified.

  "Hey, what's going on over there?" Someone yelled. A hedgehog pushed his way through the crowd, seeing several dead beasts on fire and a squirrel with a flaming paw, "Did you do this?" He demanded.

  Shocked, Ashen nodded his head. Several guards started surrounding him as the hedgehog stepped away, "How do you do that?" He asked, shaking with fear.

  Before Ashen had a chance to respond, Stashi pushed him forward, knocking the guards out of the way as she yelled, "Run!"

  Immediately Ashen began to run, out the door and down the street as she followed him, "Faster, they're right behind us." She glanced behind her, watching several guards chase after them, and the bar burning to the ground. They ran down several streets, taking lefts and rights, until they made it to the gate. The guards were far behind them, being unused to chasing creatures.

  They ran out the gate and into the nearby forest, the distant yells of guards still in the small town sounding out into the night. Both ran until they were out of breath, leaning against the trees for support.

  "What is wrong with you?" Ashen suddenly snarled, turning to Stashi.

  She shrugged, "I wasn't going to let them punish you for accidentally killing th-"

  "No, not that," interrupted Ashen, "Why were you trying to help, huh? I could've handled it, I don't need you stepping in to help. I wouldn't have used fire if you hadn't gotten in the way."

  Stashi straightened up, glaring at Ashen, "How many times do I have to apologize until you forgive me?" She demanded.

  Ashen shook his head, "I don't forgive backstabbers and murderers."

  Stashi's trenchcoat moved slightly, and her bright green eyes darkened, "It was an accident, you idiot. I hate myself for hurting her, but I didn't know," she yelled.

  "You killed her, now I have no one. You're a murderer," he accused.

  "You have me, Ash. Just forgive me. Remember when we were friends? We would always hang out together, tell each other jokes, get into trouble. Now you hate me, and I'm trying to apologize."

  "What did she do?" Asked a voice, it came from the bushes to their right.

  "What?" Asked Ashen.

  An otter jumped out of a bush, "You heard me. What did she do?" She asked. Her fur was brown, and she wore a grey, hooded tunic and sandals covering her feet. A sling was attached to her belt, but it didn't look like it was used often.

  "Nothing, it's none of your business. Who are you?" Asked Ashen.

  The otter laughed, "I'm Giggles Riverdog, pleased to meet both of you. And of course she did something, or else you wouldn't be mad at her," she explained.

  "I'm Ashen Flamepaw, nice to meet you too," Ashen said.

  "I'm Stashi Featherwing, what do you want?" Stashi snapped.

  Giggles laughed again, "I want to know what's wrong."

  "She killed someone and expects me to forgive her, now stop asking questions," Ashen said.

  The otter looked at Ashen, "Will you forgive her?" She asked.

  Ashen shook his head, fire beginning to crawl around on his paws, "I will never forgive that vermin, she's a murderer," he snarled, glaring at Stashi.

  "Woah, how can you do that with your paws?" Giggles asked, amazed as she pointed at Ashen's paws.

  The squirrel quickly stopped the fire, "No, it's nothing. I swear, I'm not able to do that," he tried covering it up.

  Giggles laughed again, "Wait... so, he can control fire, but what can you do? Are you able to do stuff like that too?" She asked Stashi.

  The fox shrugged, "I'd rather not talk about it," she muttered.

  "Don't worry, I won't judge. C'mon, I wanna know," Giggles said.

  Stashi glanced at Ashen, "I'd rather not, please just stop talking about it."

  Giggles jumped around, "Ok fine, but I won't tell you what I can do either." She laughed.

  Ashen glanced at Stashi, then looked over at Giggles, "What can you do?"

  Giggles stopped jumping, "Not saying, not until Stashi tells me. And hey, how about we stick together until those guards stop looking for Ashen. I don't have a home, how about we stay with Stashi for the night? I'm sure she wouldn't mind us staying at her home," She said, covering up a look of mischief with a big grin.

(So, I hoped you like the first chapter... it may have come off as a little cheesy, sorry, but I can write more if you guys want.  :) )

I think this is an original idea. Great writing style! I read it and enjoyed it, and strongly encourage you to continue if you wish :)

Thank you  :) (I know that last bit was a little rushed, but I was just trying to figure out how I would end the chapter)

I personally thought it was a good cliff-hanger, but I wouldn't know :P

Well, the whole introduction thing was rushed.

Your idea is refreshingly original, Eul. And I'm already in love with the characters :)

You know? For this only being the first chapter you wrote, a lot of stuff has happened and we already know some things about our main characters. I don't appreciate over-exposition, but I do love it when a story gets to the point and you did exactly that... and because of it, I'm now irremediably hooked.

I'm really enjoying the emotional struggles between the two major characters and I'm looking forward to see how their relationship evolves. If you keep this energy, this can be a really great story.

So, how about if I DEMAND more chapters? ;D!

Nice work, Eul. I'll read more if you want to write it :)

Oh my goodness, this is amazing!!! I'm already sucked in :D  Your style is incredible Eul ;)

Firstly, I'll give the good.
  This idea is refreshingly original, like Sierra said, and your characters have backstory that gives them depth. Often in fan fictions writers tend to use Mary-Sues as main characters (something I noticed and have begun adjusting in "Mossflower Falls"), but you've not done that. While it's unclear of what is really going on in terms of storyline, I'm still interested in seeing this continue.
  Now for the criticism. ( :P )
  Like I said last, we don't know what the conflict is really, or if there is a bad guy. There doesn't seem to be any place for the story to go (though you obviously have something planned), so it is a bit bland. There were some issues that I found confusing, like when you were describing Stashi. "Her pants were tucked into her tail, black boots, and she had several daggers etc." Read it over; it makes little sense. While it made sense when you were describing Ashen, it seems that you are trying to too quickly show what you want them to look like. Slow it down, reveal a bit in movement and dialogue; you'll see it paints a far better picture.
At the beginning, you suddenly mentioned Ashen's name. That was almost making an assumption that we already knew his name. Instead, what you might have done is leave his name unknown until Stashi says it (since she's the main character).

There were a couple other confusing moments, but they were minor and can simply be improved by practice in writing and reading over what you've written.



  I hope the amount of criticism outnumbering the good isn't too hard on you; I'm only trying to help. It's still a good story, and I encourage you to continue to write.

Thank you everyone, I'm glad you guys like the story. I'll write more when I have time/am in the mood  ;D

@Skarz: I try to avoid Mary-Sues like the plague, no one wants to read about a perfect character. Personally, I want a character that struggles with not only the main villain, but themselves as well, it makes them more realistic. I like characters that way.

I don't want people to find out about the bad guy immediately, I'd rather introduce the main characters first. For the second chapter, I'm planning on writing about the main villain, then switch back to the three main characters on the third chapter. And about describing Stashi, I actually don't see what's wrong with that sentence  :-\ but I'll see if I can space it out a bit. And I like the idea of waiting to give the reader Ashen's name until later. I just thought that the reader would make the connection easily, but maybe not. And thank you for the criticism, it was actually really helpful.

I still don't see how it isn't confusing. :P I must not understand what you mean. I did make the connection that the squirrel was Ashen pretty easily, but in my [humble and unwarranted] opinion it's kinda sloppy. :P

Glad you found my criticism helpful. I'm not trying to be biased or forcing my ideas on you, I'm just putting things forward that you may find useful.

Actually, I'm glad you pointed those things out. I went back and edited a few things (especially the ending. I decided against giving readers their powers all at once. I'll give it time before we discover Giggle's and Stashi's abilities. Though if you read it, you'll already know  :P ).

Ok, so here's another chapter...

Ch. 2

 The ferret stood in the middle of the dark cave, his eyes darting around wildly. From his long, curved fangs to his tattooed arms, he could've been easily mistaken for a warlord. But he was shaking so hard that he had to kneel, staring at his paws as they trembled in the dim light.

 "You failed, Quickpaw?" Asked a smooth, hissing voice.

 The ferret nodded.

 "Do you know what happens to those who fail me, Quickpaw?" The soft voice asked.

 The ferret shook his head, "Ah, I won't do it again! Please, give me another chance, I'll do anything," he whimpered pitifully.

 A quiet rustle came from his left, and he turned to see a pair of red eyes staring back at him from the shadows, "You wish to make it right, Quickpaw?"

 The ferret shuddered, unsettled by the way his leader kept saying his name, "Aye." His voice came in a shaky whisper.

 "You'll do anything, Quickpaw?" It asked.

 "Yes master, I'll do anything you want!" He blurted out.

 "Die," came the voice.

 "D-die, sir? B-but why?" Asked the ferret.

 "You failed me, so you must die. That way, you will never fail again," at that, the ferret's leader emerged from the shadows. Quickpaw gave a strangled cry of terror, backing away from the adder. Its white scales shined dully in the dim torchlight, and its golden crown was placed to the side of its massive head, "Do scream, I want the others to hear the punishment of failure," he hissed softly.

 "No, wait! I'll do anything, please, leave me alone, leave me-" the ferret's cries for mercy were cut short as the adder sunk its fangs into its victim's body, enjoying the taste of blood and the ferret's weakening attempts to escape. That would teach his followers to never disobey when given orders. Tomorrow, he would take his horde and arrive at the great sandstone abbey he had decided to conquer. They had seen his scout, who had payed dearly for that mistake, and would surely know that there were more vermin lurking about. Never had there been such a warlord as the great adder Silverscale. Silverscale the Terrible, the Murderer, the Conquerer, the Great! Surely they would bow before him when they see his might, they would willingly give him their abbey! Oh the abbey. He had never seen such a building, such a glorious home. It was made for him, he was destined to rule Mossflower in that abbey.

 With a laugh, he stretched out on the cave floor, calling out to the guards, "Bring me food, I am hungry. And prepare to leave tomorrow, for we shall take the abbey!"


 "Vermin? How many?" Abbot Pine asked, a worried look on the hedgehog's face.

 "I'm not sure, Pine, he just said that he would tell the others," replied Skipper.

 "Hurr, 'e wur a narsty ole varmint, oi'll tell 'ee that," Sister Soilclaw said, fidgeting with her apron.

 "I know, Soilclaw, no need to repeat yourself. But by the way you described him, Skipper, I think we should be concerned," Abbot Pine said.

 Skipper shrugged, "I'll put guards on the walls, then talk with Badgermum Willow about it. She may know about them, she's lived a long life," he suggested.

 Abbot Pine nodded, "Sounds like a good idea, Skip. I trust that you'll know what to do should a vermin show up at our gates."

 "If'n they do, oi'll bees a hittin' 'em wi' moi ladle, burr aye," piped up the Sister.

 Skipper smiled at her, "Aye, I know you will, Sister, I know you will!"

(Ok, so there's that. Please forgive the terrible molespeech, at least I tried  :P and I know it wasn't a very long chapter, but some chapters will be shorter than others.)

Nice work; you're mole speech isn't too bad ;D  Just a quick question, though: what kind of beast is Abbot Pine? (I'm guessing squirrel based on the name, but it's not as obvious as Skipper and Soilclaw :) )

Thank you. And Abbot Pine is a hedgehog, I went back and fixed that. Thank you for pointing that out  :)

Hey, this is a really interesting chapter!

That villain is really vicious, extremely nasty and totally unforgiving... in other words, a very engaging character. I would definitely want to read more about him and his ways, seeing that he's going to be a real pain for everyone who's unfortunate enough to be on his path.

And about the mole speech... I didn't understand a word, so you did great :D

That was awesome :D I feel so bad for Quickpaw, that was really suspenseful. The mole speech was amazing too :) Great job Eul ;)

You did quite well on the molespeech, methinks. ;)

Good chapter! Improved from the last one, I can tell. :) Keep at it!

Wow Eul, that's really good!

Thank you guys, I'm glad you're enjoying it  ;D

Ch. 3

 Giggles had managed to convince Stashi to let them stay where she lived, having no home of her own, and in the mood to play a trick on someone. That's what she loved to do, trick other woodlanders just to see their faces. Though sometimes she took it too far, like the time when she was kicked out of Redwall Abbey for playing a prank on the Abbot that accidentally almost resulted in his death.

 Now, the trio was heading towards Stashi's home, Ashen having only come along because his house was inside the actual town and he wasn't wanting to risk being found.

 "Almost there," Stashi announced, glancing at a dead oak tree that was near her den.

 "Oh good, I can't remember the last time I was inside a house. I've not had a home in forever," lied Giggles, but it was true that she hadn't had a home in a long time.

 "Oh joy, I can't wait to be there," muttered Ashen, pulling his flatcap down over his eyes, staring at the ground as he walked.

 Stashi glanced back at him as she stopped in front of a bush growing next to a small cliff, "I can tell," she moved the branches to the side to reveal a small wooden door, "We'll stay here for the night. It's not much, so if you don't like it, sleep outside," with that, she pushed the door open and stepped inside. Giggles followed her inside with Ashen right behind her. Both of them stopped short at the mess that lay before them.

 It was a small cave with fireplace to the left and a large, nest-like bed near the back. A dirty, mud covered rug was in the middle, covering part of the cold, stone floor. Several chairs were squeezed around a tiny dining table that was missing half a leg. The walls were almost black, smeared with soot and ash from the fireplace. Open boxes were stacked near the back, right of the room stuffed with items such as clothes, weapons, food, and useless collectables. But it was the long table to their right that caught their attention.

 Wooden carvings lined it, very interesting carvings. One was of a rabbit trying to stand, with its leg stretched out behind it with several spears in it. Its head was lifted upward, its eyes squeezed shut and its mouth hanging open. An expression of pain on his detailed features.

 Another was a mouse, staring in horror as a snake lunged towards it, mouth open and fangs ready to kill. The carving seemed to capture the very moment that the mouse realized it would die, the very second before the snake sunk its fangs into its victim's chest. The carvings continued, all of them depicting scenes of hopelessness and pain, hatred and terror.

 The last two contained two familiar creatures. A squirrel was on her knees, a look of terror on her face as she glared over her shoulder at a fox. The fox was holding a knife to the squirrel's back, a look of confusion stamped on her twisted features. Behind the fox was another squirrel, holding a knife to the fox's back, a look of hatred on his face. The two squirrels looked alike, as if they were related.

 The last carving had the male squirrel, who looked a lot like Ashen, holding the dead body of the female squirrel. He was glaring at the fox and pointing away from him, as if telling her to leave. The fox, who resembled Stashi, looked devastated, holding a knife in her paws. Tears rolled down her face as she had her back turned partly to the squirrel, as if turning to leave.

 Ashen stopped in front of the two carvings until Stashi noticed. She rushed over and shoved them into a drawer, "Don't look at those!" She snapped.

 Giggles turned to face Stashi, "Why do you have these carvings here? They're so dark," she said.

 "They're decorated," corrected Stashi.

 "They're depressing," continued the otter.

 "They're interesting," said Stashi.

 Ashen walked over to the fireplace, "How about a fire? It's dark and cold in here," he suggested, not waiting for an answer as he set his paw on fire, running it over the logs until there was a blazing fire in the fireplace.

 Stashi shrugged, "I actually think it's a bit hot in here," she said.

 Ashen shrugged, "Then you can take off your trenchcoat."

 Giggles sat in front of the fire, "You know, I wouldn't want to have those in my house if I had one," she pointed at the carvings, "What are they for?"

 Stashi hesitated, unbuttoning her coat, "I like carving things, that's just what I carve," she said, shrugging off the coat. Two wings spread out behind her, two beautiful wings. The reddish gold feathers shone dimly in the fire light, and white lined the bottom of her wings.

 Ashen, unlike Giggles, was unimpressed, "No, she just surrounds herself by those to make herself feel better about what she's done," he growled, staring Stashi in the eye.

 Giggles had her mouth hanging open as Stashi folded her wings in, "I do not. I never plan what I carve, they just come out that way."

 Ashen ignored Giggles, who tapped on his shoulder and pointed at Stashi's wings, "Yeah right. You feel bad about what you did, so you carve that stuff to convince yourself that you're not the only one who's wronged someone."

 Stashi shook her head, "That's not why I carve those, they just come out that way. And you can't seem to forgive anyone, I've tried apologizing so many times," she argued.

 Ashen snorted, "Because you killed someone, I can't forgive you. She was the only family I had, and you killed her," as he talked, the fire began to grow bigger.

 "It was an accident, I didn't know what I was doing!" Yelled Stashi, her wings flapping slightly.

 "You knew what you were doing, you killed her!" Ashen yelled back, his paws clenching into fists. By now, the fire out spreading across the room, licking greedily at anything flammable.

 Stashi seemed to notice it, "Ashen, put out the fire, now," she commanded.

 He glared at her, "And if I don't?" Demanded Ashen.

 "I will," said Giggles. She had watched the fire grow, and held up her paws. Water sprayed from them, slowly putting the fire out as she threw it around, drenching the entire cave.

 Stashi and Ashen stared at her, "So, you're one of us?" Asked Stashi.

 Giggles nodded, "Yup, I've been able to keep it hidden. But you guys are like me, so I guess I'm able to use it around you," she explained.

 Ashen looked over at Stashi, then back at Giggles, "You've been able to hide it?" He asked.

 Giggles nodded again, "Yep, no one else knows about it."

 Before anyone said anything more, they heard yelling outside the cave, "Over here, they're over here!" Yelled somebeast standing right outside the door.

 Stashi looked at Ashen, "They followed us," she said.

 Ashen shrugged, "No duh, genius."

 Giggles stepped to the door, "We can take them, don't worry," she encouraged.

 "But where will we go?" Asked Ashen.

 Giggles winked at him, "I know a place we can stay," she said as she burst through the door, sending a small wave of water at the guards. Ashen came next, shooting fire at several guards as Stashi launched herself towards several others, swinging her daggers like miniature windmills of death.

 It was over in a matter of seconds, the guards, overcome by the sudden attack, were forced to retreat. Or at least, the guards that survived. Ashen stared at the dead bodies, tears welling up in his eyes, as Giggles did a miniature victory dance while Stashi stared at her house sadly.

 Finally, Stashi turned away, "Well, now I've gotta move again. Those guards might come back," she said.

 Giggles patted her on the back, "No worries, I know a place we can go," she chuckled.

 Ashen looked up at her, "Where?"

 "Redwall Abbey. Trust me, they'll let us in. They love me there, I'm their favorite otter," Giggles lied.

 Stashi shrugged, "I guess so, I mean, I'll have to build a new den."

 Giggles laughed, skipping through the forest, "Follow me, I know exactly where it is!" She exclaimed, another lie.

Another great chapter Eul!

Keep it up :)

Good work!

Doing very well, Eul!

Thank you, I'll see if I can post another chapter soon  :)

Another chapter, I hope it's good.

Ch. 4

  Silverscale waited impatiently at the gates of Redwall Abbey, his blood red eyes studying the beautiful walls of the ancient abbey, its roofs peeking up over the walls. His silvery white scales shone dully in the sun, and his hordebeasts stood behind him, silent. The crown, more like a flat golden circle, lay on his head at an angle. It was polished and well taken care of, it was one of the few treasures he had to fight for.

  The thought of battling Salamandastron for its treasures made him cringe slightly. Glancing at the scar running down his body, he cursed the thought of the badgerlord and all his hares he had slain.

  "Grimclaw, how long do we wait?" Snapped Silverscale, turning impatiently to his unfortunate captain.

  The weasel cringed slightly, "Er, not long now, sir. The little one is sure to tell the older beasts, they'll be here soon!" She said, avoiding eye contact as all hordebeasts did.

  "Are you sure he saw us? What if the child was only playing?" Demanded the snake.

  Grimclaw shrugged, "I'm not sure, sir. Would you like me to call up to them?" She asked.

  Silverscale shook his head, "No, we wait," he hissed.

  Grimclaw nodded, stepping slightly away from her leader. Why the snake had left the mountain in ruins, she did not know. It was the perfect place for a snake, but he had left to search for a more suitable home. Now he was convinced that Redwall was made for him.


  Skipper didn't dare to look over the walls twice, none of the Redwallers did. He glanced at Abbot Pine, seeing the hedgehog shaking with poorly hidden fear, "Pine, we're going to be ok. I'll send Fiddle to go to Salamandastron. They can help us, don't worry," he reasoned.

  Abbot Pine nodded, "Aye, Lord Stonestripe can help. I trust you and Badgermum Willow are able to hold them off until the Long Patrol arrives. But I need to know what they want, I will speak to them," he said, standing up and looking over the ramparts, shuddering at the sight of the massive snake, "Goodness, he could eat Willow in one bite!" He squeaked quietly to Skipper.

  "I wish to speak to your leader, Spikedog," called Silverscale.

  Pine shook slightly, "You're looking at him, snake. Now, what is it that you want from us? Food? Drink? Perhaps you have injured among you, do you need medical assistance?" He asked.

  Silverscale threw back his head and laughed, then reared up to his full height, nearly as tall as the abbey walls, "I want this abbey, hedgepig. If you leave now, I may spare your lives. Look at me, there is no hope for you! I am Silverscale the Murderer, ruler of Mossflower!" He hissed, staring up at Abbot Pine, only several feet below him.

  Pine shook uncontrollably, looking into the eyes of the murderous snake, "T-this abbey is n-not yours. You w-will not r-rule Redwall A-Abbey," he squeaked, his glasses falling off his face and dropping down onto Silverscale, bouncing off the scales and falling to the ground.

  With a terrible hiss, the snake lunged upwards, trying to reach the Abbot. But he was too short to reach the top of the walls and slide back down, falling onto the glasses and smashing them, "Fool, you have just ruined your chances of life. Now I shall kill you all and make you scream for death by the time I'm done with you!" He roared.

  As all the yelling went on, everybeast failed to notice a hare slip out of the gates, running in the direction of Salamandastron. This was Fiddle, the abbey warrior and poet, fastest runner in the abbey. He ran as fast as his feet would carry him, not knowing that all there was at the mountain was ruin, death, and hopelessness.

Awesome job Eul! this is absolutely amazing :)

Great job as always :)

I like it! Well done again. Keep it up, Eul.

Thank you  :)

Edit: added a poll. Should Stashi Featherwing and Ashen Flamepaw forgive each other? The results will decide how the story ends.

Sorry it took so long, I've been a bit lazy about my writing lately. Consider this a blessing or a curse, it depends on whether you actually like my writing or just say it to be polite ( ;))

Ch. 5

  Fiddle ran, pulling his jacket around himself and shivering in the cold night air. It had been nearly a day since he left the Abbey, and he hadn't taken a break since. His breath came in ragged, short gasps. His footpaws were sore and bleeding, cut by rocks and thorns. The water pack that hung at his side was empty. The cold air bit at him mercilessly, making him wish he could stop to light a fire, to sleep, or even just sit. But Redwall Abbey was in danger, he couldn't stop. Skipper told him that every second counted, and he needed to get to Salamandastron.

  He tried to run faster but tripped over a root and fell. For several minutes he lay there, fighting for breath. After a while, he staggered to his feet and kept going, slower this time. Again, he tripped over a root. And again, he got to his feet. He stumbled blindly onward, thinking of the abbey.

  A noise behind him caused the poor hare to turn, pawing at the hilt of his claymore. He had never favored the honored sword of Martin The Warrior, so he used his father's sword that had been passed down to him.

  Two rats came forward, looking just as tired as Fiddle. But the murderous look in their eyes told the hare that they meant to kill him, "Quick, Wormtail, jus' kill 'im so we can get back to the others," one gasped.

  Fiddle backed away, pulling the claymore out. It sank to the ground, his tired arms too weak to lift the heavy sword, "Stay... away. I'll kill... you. You hear me?" He warned.

  The rat that had been called Wormtail lifted his spear, "Ah here yah, all right. But we got orders, an' Ah don't want to fail Silverscale," he growled. And evil smile came over his wicked face as he threw the spear.


  Stashi sat hunched over the fire, spreading her wings around it for warmth with her eyes closed. Giggles lay snoring gently, laughing in her sleep. Ashen stared into the fire as his red eyes seemed to match it, dancing with orange and yellow.

  "I say we leave her, she has no idea where she's going," Stashi said, "She's already admitted she's lost, may as well find Redwall ourselves."

  Ashen's eyes flicked upward at her, then back down to the flames, "What do you mean by 'we'? There's me, and there's you. There is no we. And why don't you go make a new den, or steal one from someone else? Redwall won't accept you, you're a vermin."

  Stashi closed her eyes and listened to the crickets chirping, "Anything to make me feel bad, Ashen. You'd do anything, wouldn't you? Why don't you just kill me?"

  "I'm not a murderer," Ashen growled.

  Stashi smirked, "Yeah? Tell that to those mice you killed in the bar. And the guards too."

  Ashen bit his lip, "It was an accident."

  Stashi nodded, "Right. So was killing your sister. I didn't mean to."

  Ashen yanked the flatcap down over his eyes, "Shuttup," he muttered.

  "I'd like to see you try and make me," Stashi spat.

  Ashen glared up at her, "I could if-"

  "Hush," interrupted Stashi, holding her paw up.

  Ashen laughed, "Oh, threaten me then tell me to-"

  "Quiet! I hear something," Stashi interrupted again, tilting her head to the side. She narrowed her eyes, "Sounds like something's screaming... there's laughter, too..."

  Ashen lept to his feet, clenching his paw into a fist. Immediately the fire went out, leaving the three in sudden darkness, "Then let's go. Don't wake Giggles, she'll only get in the way."

  The two wove through the bushes silently, keeping their eyes open and listening for any noises. It wasn't hard to find the source of the noise, the screams had died down to whimpers of pain and the laughter had died down. Stashi stopped suddenly, seeing two rats standing over an injured hare. She glanced at Ashen, who nodded towards them.

  With a smile, she crept forward slowly and began to spread her wings. The rats had their backs to them, and didn't notice her until it was too late.


  Wormtail laughed, pulling his spear back to stab the hare again, "Yah caused us lots o' trouble, findin' yah. We got to obey Silverscale or he'll kill us both."

  "Yeah," chuckled Botfly, "Yah won't do no more runnin', rabbit."

  Suddenly light flashed behind them, and they turned around. The silhouette of a winged fox stood in front of a massive fire, and a voice yelled out, "Leave the hare, fools. Run and I may spare your lives!" It howled.

  The rats immediately dropped their weapons, running in the opposite direction of the fire. Stashi beat her wings and flew after them, swiftly ending their miserable lives with her daggers. She turned to face Ashen, who clenched his paw into a fist and the fire went out, "Cool, right? Just like old times. Remember when..." her voice trailed off as Ashen brushed past her towards the hare.


  Fiddle was in pain. He didn't know what was happening, but he knew he was in pain. One second the rats were about to finish him off, then there was a bright light and yelling. The light was gone, the screams had stopped, the pain was still there. A squirrel, the face of a squirrel hovered above him. It's red eyes flickered with orange and yellow. More pain. More light. An otter. A fox. The squirrel was back, it looked concerned. Pain. Darkness.

Very nice. I laughed at some parts too ~

Thank you  ;D remember, constructive criticism is always welcome.

Nice adventure, Eulaliaaa!

I think this is an all-around fun fanfic. You've got the baddies, who are bad because they're bad, and the goodies, who are good because they're good. When I first started reading this, I was felt like something was a bit off and I couldn't quite figure out why. It wasn't until I got to judging for the RAFF Awards (http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=8182.0) that I realized something: if you try to read this story as your traditional "Tale of Redwall", you may not be quite as satisfied. But if you try to imagine that you are reading a comic book, things get much more enjoyable! It turns into one of the better AU stories that I've read here on the forum.

Keep up the good work, I hope you've got more content coming soon! :)