OK, well maby it's not a Brian Jaques book, but I want to make a short novel. I know what and who its going to be about, and I will give you the title. Return to the North Coast Sounds cool, right. Well it gets a little better. I have decided that it will have Martin II in it. He will be the main character. It takes place after Pearls of Lutra I thought that maby you would like to know. Its a little sad in the beginning, but it gets better. I need a name for the main villain. ??? Thoughts please!
Names can be a lot of fun. You can try random, using a handful of scrabble tiles. That is how Rystan selected her character's name in QB-2.
If you're looking for something more structured, you can check the internet baby name site and play with names related to some feature or quality. I like to use foreign language sites and play with the results. For example, I took the word vindictive and changed it into a name, Vindicar.
So give us a few more details regarding the unknown antagonist and maybe we can come up with a few canidates.
Pherol (fair-ole), Flisk, Rorke (roar-kuh), Lodar (low-dar), Bareck (bare-eck). These are just inspirational ideas. Hope they helped!
You want something menacing right!? Llke maybe put a weapon or charastic together. Like if someone is fas t with a blade and mean you could put....uh.... Speedrage or something I can't really think of anything good sorry.
If your looking for something along that line: Doomwielder (Wielder is a good one to use for this naming style), Fate Thief, Slink Melf (assasination squad).
P.S. Only People that read The Guaurdians of Ga'Hoole will get the whole Slink Melf thing.
These might work, but just to let you know, it's going to be a weasel. But keep it up. I like assassin names. :)
Loomin Hock, (Color + Hide =) Blackhide, Swiften Sidestabber, Manggar Iron (blank, Ironfist, Ironchest, Ect.) Hope this helps! ;)
Quote from: danflorreguba on April 09, 2012, 03:40:34 PM
Loomin Hock, (Color + Hide =) Blackhide, Swiften Sidestabber, Manggar Iron (blank, Ironfist, Ironchest, Ect.) Hope this helps! ;)
OK, I've chosen the name of the bad guy. Now I need a name for a mouse, ( not Martin II ) who is young and full of spirit. Thanks for the help. :)
Male or Female?
Male.
Okay..... Hmmm..... Brael (Braile) Brimfull, Dophel (Doe-Fell) Longstrider, again these are inspirational ideas.
P.S. What is the villains name?
Ok, I've chosen the mouses name. You will find out there names when I post the first chapter. ;)
I also need a name for a mole in the book. ( She is a Girl.)
Vemaron Burrow Claw, StilledEarth junior, Duney Shortsnout.
Ok, got her name now. Now I need a name for a otter. A boy. Again thanks for your help! :D
Welcome, Stream, Wave, Dog, and the like are quite common otter names.
Flaredoon Streamrunner, Slipper Largewave, Epsiloan Quickdog.
Ok, got his name. What was the name of the Abbess in Pearls of Lutra ?
Abbess Tansy!
Thank You! ;D ;D ;D ;) ;) ;) :D :D :D
Welcome, Any other names? This is fun!
I will let you know when I need them. Almost done with chapter one! :D
YIPPPPEEEEE!!!!!!!!! :D
Here you go.
Return to the North Coast
Chapter one.
"Steady, careful, just a little higher." The young mouse raised the shield of Martin the Warrior higher. PING! The wooden sword bounced off the shield. "Good, good." Said Martin II, who was the Redwall Abbey Warrior. At the time, he was training a younger mouse named Dophel. Dophel was a youngling when he arrived at Redwall. He diden't have parents with him. He never said much but when Martin said that he would train the young mouse, Dophel's life got a hole lot better. He would wake up in the morning, get on his training suit and wait out side Martin's room until he was ready to train.
"Who! That one was close!" Martin was letting him use the shield of Martin the Warrior, the founder of the Abbey that they lived in. Martin II was named after Martin the Warrior. They were training in the Abbey courtyard, despite of the constant presence of the vermin camp outside.
The vermin had camped out there for three weeks now. They attacked the Abbey when they first show up. They were did not know that there was a warrior in the abbey. Now there leader, Swifften Sidestaber, a evil weasel who once had a dream about ruling Redwall Abbey. But since then he has had nothing good happen to him. This was his last day at the abbey. "One more time." he thought to himself. "One more time."
Abbess Tansy was in Great Hall when Martin came to see her. "Abbess," he said. "There is something I must talk to you about." "What's that?" She said. Abbess Tansy was the first hedgehog abbess or abbot ever to be at Redwall. "I think that young Dophel is ready to try to use the sword of Martin the Warrior." Tansy looked at him in a funny way. "Why would you need to tell me that? If you think he is ready, then why ask?" "Well its just that because that he is a outsider of Redwall I wanted to get your approval." Abbey Tansy smiled at him. Martin was the careful one. "Of corse he has my approval Martin! If he did not, then I would have let him train with you." "Oh of corse! Sorry to bother you Abbess. You are sure right?" Tansy waved him off. "Yes Martin, I'm sure."
I will have more soon! Oh, and I change the title of this topic! Sorry for the short chapters, long ones get to me. ;)
Pretty good! AND THE NAMES I HELPED WITH WERE USED!!!! :D
Thank you! :D Might have next chapter soon! ;D
This is exciting!
Ya let's keep going I will help if you will let me
Ok ! ;D
Thank's pal
This.... is......... SO MUCH FUN!!! :D
Now I need a name for the bad guys second in command. How about a ferret. :) A boy.
Forgrim Mousesqueler, Doteng (Doe-teng) Longclaw, Burgel Bonecrusher
You could mix-n-mash names too! ;D
OK, have the second in commands name. Now I need the name of a rat. Not in a high position, a boy. Thanks for your help! :)
Welcome! (again :D)
Shlink, Flera (flea-ruh), Morpal (more-ful), Limfip, Torag, Pawcutter.
With the lower vermin you don't have to be as worried about second names (tell me if you want some).
Ok, got his name. Now I need a Abbey brothers name. A Squirrel. Thanks. ;)
(You need more females)
Durban Treerifler, Rewdin Mossfur, Palphut (pal-fut) Firebrush.
( Thanks I will get to that.)
OK, got his name, now I need the name of a hare, a boy, (don't worry I will have more females) Thank Again! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
No problem. i quite enjoy this! Wot! Wot!
Maroony Grubswiper, Beltin Freeranger, Forgo Loopertun, Rastido Floringham Gustavio Guarinaldy (plz plzplzplzplz don't use this one! I'm kinda jokin'), Sadroan (sah-droan) Wearypaws.
Ok, I got his. Now leave me to my work! ( Just kidding, I will post the next charter soon! :D )
Hurry up!!!!! >:(
:D ;D I'm joking, take your time.
Here is the next one.
Chapter Two
Forgrim Longclaw had the biggest appetite in the vermin camp. He also was Swiften Sidestaber’s second in command. Forgrim was in a bad mood. First he has to deal with his boss saying that they are leaving today. And now he found out that they will attack Redwall again today. Rolling his eyes, he set out to find food.
A lonely, but sly rat named Morpal was sitting at a fire, warming a piece of bread. “Welcome mate! Sit right here and have some bread!” He said. Forgrim glared at him but at the bread, grog and everything he could get his hands on. The ferret was soon full and rattling off about everything he knew. “ And now that back-stabing Swiften wants to make a attack on that abbey again! If I ever saw a fool! Hes going to get himself killed!” He rattled. “Ha,ha. Hey, you got any of that stuff left?” he asked. “No,” he said, “but have the rest of that bread.”
A spy of Sidestaber’s reported to him. “Take care of it.” he said. The attack was going to be a surprise, and now that Morpal knew about it, he had to be killed. The spy went outside to find Morpal. But Morpal was almost to the Abbey’s walls, which was his place to met the Abbey beast. Durban Treerifler came around the corner. “Hey, what’s new” he said. The vermin was Redwall’s spy. “Their planing an attack! It’s going to be today and..” ZIP! An arrow found its way to Morpal’s neck. “Agh!” Durban shouted. “Help the Abbey is under attack!”
“What was that?” said Martin as him and Dophel were wraping up their daily training. “Wait here.” Martin said. “And don’t move” “Ok.” Dophel said. “Charge!” the vermin said as they climbed using grappling hooks over the Abbey’s walls. Martin gave a the war cry REEEDDDWAAALLL!!!!! as the battle started. “Uh,oh” Dophel said. Swiften Sidestaber had got on the ramparts. Taking he’s training sword and Martin the Warrior’s shield, he ran up the ramparts to Swiften. Seeing the young mouse coming, Swiften prepared himself to fight. By the time he got to Swiften, Dophel was swinging his sword around, and guarding himself with Martin’s shield. In the battle Martin had not notice Dophel join the fight. But when he looked, the thing that would haunt him was before his eyes. As Dophel missed Swiften with he’s sword, Swiften pulled out his small dagger from his belt and plunged it in to Dophel’s heart. Young Dophel died instantly.
Reaching down, Swiften Sidestaber toke the shield of Martin the Warrior.
I won't have the next chapter today. Got to rest my brain. :D
I'm going to stab you in the heart!! >:( >:( >:( I go through all the trouble to give you names, and you go and kill them!
I'm not being serious. ;D
*gasp* YOU KILLED OFF DOPHEL! :o :o :o
I know! That makes me so >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( :'(
The next chapter will be posted soon! And don't worry, It gets funny, and not as sad. ;)
Quote from: Soren the Warrior on April 08, 2012, 01:25:42 AM
OK, well maby it's not a Brian Jaques book, but I want to make a short novel. I know what and who its going to be about, and I will give you the title. Return to the North Coast Sounds cool, right. Well it gets a little better. I have decided that it will have Martin II in it. He will be the main character. It takes place after Pearls of Lutra I thought that maby you would like to know. Its a little sad in the beginning, but it gets better. I need a name for the main villain. ??? Thoughts please!
For an evil name do,"Slurk the Souleater."
Quote from: MatthiasMan on April 10, 2012, 05:26:52 PM
Quote from: Soren the Warrior on April 08, 2012, 01:25:42 AM
OK, well maby it's not a Brian Jaques book, but I want to make a short novel. I know what and who its going to be about, and I will give you the title. Return to the North Coast Sounds cool, right. Well it gets a little better. I have decided that it will have Martin II in it. He will be the main character. It takes place after Pearls of Lutra I thought that maby you would like to know. Its a little sad in the beginning, but it gets better. I need a name for the main villain. ??? Thoughts please!
For an evil name do,"Slurk the Souleater."
That's a good one! But i already have a bad guy name, if you read the first chapter. But that is a good one! ;)
In Redwall they don't make mention to the soul thing, I'd advise leaving that kinda stuff out, Slurk is good though.
Quote from: danflorreguba on April 10, 2012, 05:43:40 PM
In Redwall they don't make mention to the soul thing, I'd advise leaving that kinda stuff out, Slurk is good though.
Good point.
When is the next chapter gonna be ready?
I don't know. Mabey later today. I hope. I'm kinda busy. I don't know how I found the time to wright this post.
nice story, but as i read chapter two you said they flew over the wall? or maybe I misread it.
That part was a little weird to me too! How did they get over?
Quote from: danflorreguba on April 10, 2012, 08:14:38 PM
That part was a little weird to me too! How did they get over?
Sorry, didn't do that right. I changed it. Thanks. ;D
The Redwallers hadn't posted guards? ???
They felt comfortable
Surrrreeeee.....
Ok, I have the next chapter. (Sorry it took so long.)
Chapter 3
Martin sat next to the body of Dophel. "Why? He was just a kid!" A tear fell from his face. Skipper Epsiloan was standing next to Martin. "The boy didn't know any better. I know ye loved him mate." Martin slowly rose with the body. "We will bury him this afternoon." He said gravely. Skipper looked around. "Uh, mate, where's you shield.?" Martin gave him a look that would have melted a lesser person. "How could you be worrying about the shield at a time like this ?!" He growled. "Well, because Dophel had it, but he ain't got it now. Thats strange. That shield swiping vermin must had stolen it!" He said.
After burying Dophel that afternoon, he walked into the Great Hall. He looked at the tapestry of Martin the Warrior. "Oh Martin," he said. "What do I do now? Dophel is dead, the vermin are gone, with your shield. What do I do?" He walked up to his room, and when there was no one there, it pushed him in to a state of utter sadness that there was almost no reason to live. "I need to rest." He thought.
In a dream, he saw the shield of Martin the Warrior with Swifften Sidestaber holding it laughing, with that evil glare. Martin became filled with anger. The next morning, he met with Skipper. "Skipper, pack your bags and javelin. Were going to find that shield, and make Sidestaber pay." Skipper looked at him, and a smile spread across his face. "Alright mate. We leave at noon." "Um, can io come wim youm, sirms." Martin looked at the young female mole that was a kitchen helper. "Uh, how about you just keep to the kitchens. Ok." He said. "Dats not okm. I want to coom wid youm." Skipper pulled Martin aside. "Mate, she's dosn't have parents, and nether of us can cook." Martin looked at the girl. "Ok, but you better hurry to pack your bags!" He said. The young mole ran up the stairs and came down a minute later. "Okm. Oim ready." Martin looked at Skipper. "Ok then. Lets go." After the Abbey people said their goodbyes, the Abbess walked up to Martin. "Bring Martin the Warrior shield back, and come back knowing that Dophel is in peace." "Ok, Abbess. I promise."
I hope that you like it! ;)
Now I know what you meant by sad. :(
Quote from: Tiria Wildlough on April 14, 2012, 12:47:01 PM
Quote from: danflorreguba on April 10, 2012, 09:47:19 PM
Surrrreeeee.....
Dannflor, that's not very nice.
WHAT!?
The Redwallers are NEVER comfterble when vermin are around!
(besides, there was nothing else I cou;d think of to say!)
YOU HURT MY FELLINGS! No, just kidding ;D, I know that may sound weird, but thats how the story goes.
Ok, here is the next chapter! (Sorry for the double post, but the rules says that I can if I have more "Content to their work" So here you go!
Chapter 4
Swiften Sidestaber was ready. Ready to head north. "Redwall, Salamandastron, all of them no good. But wait until the north coast's little peasants. They will be begging for mercy!" "Er, um, Sir," said a rat at the front of the tent. "What you fool! What could you possibly tell me that I would want to here right now!" He yelled. The rat cringed, and spoke in a very fast tone. "It was just that Forgrim Longclaw is about to be executed, and we thought that you would like to do it sir." Swiften's murder-ready snarl, turned to a wide grin. "Oh, the rattler. This will make my day." He left the tent leaving the rat shivering with fear as he pasted by. "Bring the rattler here." He said in that deadly tone again. Two weasels pulled Forgrim to their leader. "Any last words, rattler." He snarled. "Um, I will never rattle again or, or anything like that. Just tell me what I can do to make it up to you, anything!" He stammered. "No!" Said Swiften, and with one swipe of he's arm, Forgrim was dead. "And let that be a warning to any other rattlers out there!" He yelled to the vermin camp.
Martin, Skipper, and the young mole named Bermy Shortsnout went out in pursuit of the vermin. Bermy was a great cook. She could cook anything. And the second day they found out that others realized she was a good cook to. "Well that was good!" Said Skipper. "You make a fine breakfast young lady." The young mole looked at the ground, bashfully. "Thank youm sir. Oi do thenk oi newd moi way around a kitchen. Oir carmpfire." She said. Martin stood up. "Thank you Bermy, you did a fine job as normal." He said. "Well, lets go down to that stream, get some water, and then we will pack up camp." "Right, Martin." Skipper said as they went down to the stream. When they came back, a hare was eating there food. "Hey, what are you doing!" Martin said as he pawed the sword hilt. The hare looked at them, surprised. He spaing up from the log he was sitting on and started cleaning."Ah, I was just cleaning up for you sah! See, no harm done and all neat and tidy. Wot!" He said, with fear on his face. "Who do you think you are! You just raid people's camps and steal their food all the time?!" Skipper said. The hare gave up. "OK! I take people's food because I can't cook!" He cried. After a long time of sobbing, Martin toke pity on the hare. "Ok, as long as you never steal again, you can come with us."
Hope you liked it, more will be out soon!
Abit abrupt, (the hare)!
Really Good Soren!!
Quote from: MatthiasMan on April 20, 2012, 11:32:45 PM
Really Good Soren!!
Thanks. Next chapter coming soon to a forum near you! ;D
Which Forum? ???
;D ;D :D ;D ;D ;)
Check out the LEGO creations and tell me what you think! (I think you're doing a pretty good job on this fan fic)
Check out my story too!
I love your story Soren