Redwall Abbey

Fan Works => Fan Fiction => Topic started by: Crystal Rose on May 31, 2012, 02:30:46 PM

Title: Or... (a one-shot short story set during Doomwyte)
Post by: Crystal Rose on May 31, 2012, 02:30:46 PM
Summary: A different way Samolus Fixa could have asked to speak with Sister Ficaria... one-shot.
Disclaimer: Doomwyte characters belong to Brian Jacques. The OC is mine.


Samolus Fixa, Bisky, Dwink, and Umfry Spikkle went to the gardens to speak with Sister Cryse. Samolus spoke with Cryse, who smiled and nodded. They went back, and joined the three younger friends.
Sister Cryse was a beautiful black-furred squirrel with piercing ice-blue eyes. She wore a green habit, and was a skilled gardener. She also was a skilled cook, and knew how to feel hares- a skill she found useful on multiple occasions.
Together, Cryse and Samolus led the way to the Infirmary, and the former knocked on the door. Brother Torilis, the squirrel herbalist and Infirmary Keeper, opened it. Cryse looked up at him, and batted her eyelashes.
"Hello Brother Torilis. I was wondering if we could speak with Sister Ficaria for a bit." she explained. Brother Torilis did not appear the slightest bit flustered by her actions.
"Is this some kind of prank?" he asked.
"Oh, no Brother. She just has some information we want to hear. We won't harm her, don't worry. You know what, I'll even help you in the Infirmary while my friends speak with her!" Cryse replied.
"You, help in the Infirmary?" Torilis snorted. Cryse smiled coyly, and batted her lashes.
"I do know quite a bit about healing, but I would be more than willing to learn more! After all, such a smart squirrel like yourself must have a lot to teach!" she explained. Torilis finally appeared flustered, and struggled to regain control of his voice. Finally, he gave Cryse a rare smile and nodded.
"Of course. I'll let Sister Ficaria know." he agreed, walking back into the Infirmary.
"Thanks, Cryse!" Samolus whispered. Cryse giggled, and winked at him.
"It was nothing, Samolus!" she replied, as Sister Ficaria came to the door. Cryse entered the Infirmary, and let her friends leave. She smiled at Torilis, ready to show him what she knew and gain more knowledge of herbs and healing.


THE END!

A/N: Yeah...Brother Torilis is my favorite Doomwyte character. So....yeah! No explanation other than that. There may be other stories like this sometime in the future, so be on the lookout!
Title: Re: Or... (a one-shot short story set during Doomwyte)
Post by: Dannflor on May 31, 2012, 07:53:46 PM
 Wierd
Title: Re: Or... (a one-shot short story set during Doomwyte)
Post by: Crystal Rose on June 01, 2012, 02:11:51 AM
I know it's a bit...weird, but still, it's one of those random things I wrote and wanted to post.
Title: Re: Or... (a one-shot short story set during Doomwyte)
Post by: Captain Tammo on June 01, 2012, 02:27:06 AM
Interesting, I like it!
Title: Re: Or... (a one-shot short story set during Doomwyte)
Post by: Crystal Rose on June 04, 2012, 10:12:10 PM
Thank you!
Title: Re: Or... (a one-shot short story set during Doomwyte)
Post by: gorath on June 06, 2012, 03:30:32 PM
All I can say is- OK?
Title: Re: Or... (a one-shot short story set during Doomwyte)
Post by: Crystal Rose on June 07, 2012, 02:24:40 AM
Is it a good OK or a bad OK? Or a confused OK?
Title: Re: Or... (a one-shot short story set during Doomwyte)
Post by: Leatho Shellhound on December 18, 2012, 07:54:53 PM
That's good, it made me laugh.  :D
Title: Re: Or... (a one-shot short story set during Doomwyte)
Post by: cairn destop on December 19, 2012, 08:20:45 PM
My turn for a disclaimer.  Not having read the book, the characters remain unfamiliar to me, as well as the actions before and after this takes place.

1 --- They went back, and joined the three younger friends -- Based on this one sentence, the story is already over.  It stops the story before it had a chance to start.

2 --- She also was a skilled cook, and knew how to feel hares- a skill she found useful on multiple occasions -- the typo, "feel" instead of "feed," turned a simple declaration into a very comical line.

3 --- and batted her eyelashes -- definitely the more mature rating.

4 --- speak with her!" -- lose the exclamation point

5 --- finally appeared ... Finally, he -- try to keep word variety in mind.  Best not to use the same word so close together.  You may also want to consider the elimination of the ly-adverbs

Title: Re: Or... (a one-shot short story set during Doomwyte)
Post by: KitrallStreamrippler on March 16, 2013, 03:48:53 AM
:D I thought it was funny. Brother Torilis- flustered? Heeheehee! That old stuffy-whiskers wouldn't know a flirt from a flan!
Title: Re: Or... (a one-shot short story set during Doomwyte)
Post by: Ungatt Trunn on March 16, 2013, 09:25:04 PM
Kind of strange... but it was also kind of funney :D!
Title: Re: Or... (a one-shot short story set during Doomwyte)
Post by: Martin the warrior on March 22, 2013, 12:13:16 AM
I liked it
Title: Re: Or... (a one-shot short story set during Doomwyte)
Post by: Shadowed One on April 08, 2013, 03:14:19 PM
Ok, all I can say is......What in the world is the point of this story?
Title: Re: Or... (a one-shot short story set during Doomwyte)
Post by: Ungatt Trunn on April 08, 2013, 08:47:03 PM
Quote from: Shadowed One on April 08, 2013, 03:14:19 PM
Ok, all I can say is......What in the world is the point of this story?
Just an alternitave way that this scene could have taken place, I guess....
Title: Re: Or... (a one-shot short story set during Doomwyte)
Post by: rachel25 on April 09, 2013, 05:01:45 PM
It was different  ;) have you writen any other fanfic's  :-*  :-\