Redwall Abbey

Please give me any suggestions you might have about her back story, please

Maybe you could talk about how she came to be a pirate--her past and everything. Was her family massacred, causing her to turn bitter? Did she have any pirating adventures before serving under Ublaz Madeyes?

Or  maybe a nice woodland cared for her as a child, and then died or some thing. thats why she saved the Abbot.

I don't have any details, but I suggest adding emotion (maybe somebody close to her died, or she got betrayed) and a nice twist to the story. Also, to make sure she isn't too good or too bad-keep to her personality.  ;) I look forward to reading what you've got in store for us.

I have some ideas but they would probably be too rough or unpleasant or inappropriate to be included in a story about a Redwall character

If they're too violent you can omit them or make them less gory somehow. The Redwall series does have some gruesome scenes but you're right, we don't want to post unpleasant stuff here.

Quote from: Skyblade on December 08, 2012, 01:34:17 AM
If they're too violent you can omit them or make them less gory somehow. The Redwall series does have some gruesome scenes but you're right, we don't want to post unpleasant stuff here.

Good idea but how? Sorry, i haven't written much more than english papers and such. I tried writing a redwall story before with a little less violence than i had in mind but someone who read it still said it was too violent  >:(

Aw, that's too bad. Well you can just not go into detail when descirbing any battle scenes, so don't show any blood, guts, or other gore. And not make any love scenes intense.

I'm going to start soon but should it start with her parents before she was born or her as a little kid?

Could I please have a few more voters before starting to write?

Quote from: Romsca on December 08, 2012, 10:00:22 PM
I'm going to start soon but should it start with her parents before she was born or her as a little kid?

Could I please have a few more voters before starting to write?

I said in your earlier topic that I had already told you all my ideas..... but I still think that it should start with her parents. That would make good background(maybe) to why she turned mean.

Thanks a lot for the votes but I agree with PluggFiretail. I will probably have something up here by the end of the year

It will be in Romsca's point of view, right?

Yes, absolutely

Her as a baby

I'll think about it

Quote from: Romsca on December 17, 2012, 10:41:06 PM
I'll think about it

Yes start it as her from a young age.

It would be more complete though if the story started before she was born

I agree,  it would be interesting to have a background story, like how her parents met, what happened and all that.

Quote from: Redwaller on December 19, 2012, 05:24:48 PM
I agree,  it would be interesting to have a background story, like how her parents met, what happened and all that.

Thanks! But do you know how I can write that so all Redwall fans can read it, not just the older ones, if you know what I mean?  ::)

Well, just don't go into details. Keep it simple.

IDEA! Maybe she was saved and raised by woodlanders, like Veil, but she meets another ferret(maybe a love interest?) and is told about vermin and their stereotype. She runs away, shocked that her adopted parents hid that from her, becomes a corsair with that other ferret, the other ferret dies, and on the surface she becomes bad like any vermin, but her raising did have an effect on her, causing her to be compassionate and save the abbot's life.

I'm quite brilliant, if I do say so myself.

little kids

Quote from: W0NWILL on December 19, 2012, 08:37:40 PM
IDEA! Maybe she was saved and raised by woodlanders, like Veil, but she meets another ferret(maybe a love interest?) and is told about vermin and their stereotype. She runs away, shocked that her adopted parents hid that from her, becomes a corsair with that other ferret, the other ferret dies, and on the surface she becomes bad like any vermin, but her raising did have an effect on her, causing her to be compassionate and save the abbot's life.

I'm quite brilliant, if I do say so myself.

Good idea! But I already have a pretty complete idea, it's just putting it on paper (or the computer, in this case) Although I will think about it. I am open to any more ideas any of you might have.

@WONWILL: Here's a question: how come her parents weren't the ones taking care of her in the first place? Did they die? Did they abandon her? Did she run away? etc.

IDEA! I thought of this a little while ago
Warning!!! It's not that good

Her dad loses his job, so he tries to find another one but can't so he becomes a corsair and takes his family with him (Romsca is about 5, she has a little brother who is probably about 2 or 3) The ship's captain is Barranca's father so Romcsa and Barranca became best friends. She and her family live on the island, her dad finds a job as a fisherman. He gets drunk once and says he doesn't like the government so the trident rats take him and beat him within an inch of his life. Romsca (Who's 8 ) throws a rock through the window of the trident rat barracks so Ublaz gets mad and has lizards publicly execute her father by hanging him by his hands (paws, i mean they're redwall animals) by letting the lizards eat him alive. Her mother dies because of an illness sometime later and her brother gets sent to an orphanage she never sees him again. She hides on a ship (bound for holt lutra) and hopes they don't kill her

I know, really bad grammar, but hey, it's a start

What does everyone think?

Um well, that's not quite what I was thinking, her family is really devided. But it might work.

I like the idea. But for the beginning, you could have a sort of romantic story without the details, and it all happens in Sampetra.

Quote from: Leatho Shellhound on December 20, 2012, 10:40:57 PM
Um well, that's not quite what I was thinking, her family is really devided. But it might work.

Well, what were you thinking?

Good idea, actually. At first, what happened to her father seems to violent, but then what would make her so mean as something like that and everyone she loves dies... :'(  poor Romsca! I could DEFINITELY see that.

Thanks... at least someone likes my idea

Your welcome! ;D

Well the fact that her father way killed by the lizards maybe why she hated them so much in the book.

Good thinking!

Quote from: Leatho Shellhound on December 22, 2012, 02:13:05 AM
Well the fact that her father way killed by the lizards maybe why she hated them so much in the book.

Yes that's actually why i was thinking that

Ok, good to know!

So there's no more opinions or comments?

...nope!

hey people PLEASE give me any more ideas or comments you might have! i am close to starting, but i just don't know how to start!

What about my idea?

Which one? Sorry, I forgot what yours was

It was about how her parents met, and married and all. Without going into details, of course!  ;)

Thanks for the ideas! I'll start on it soon, right after Christmas

Here are some notes for the second half of the story:

After she gets on the ship she hides but the captain finds her. He is about to have her killed and thrown overboard but then the cook says he needs someone to help wash dishes. Soon they fight another ship with a captain that left Ublaz and she did good enough in that fight to get somewhat promoted to a normal deckhand. When they get near to the otters they send her out as a spy to gather information on the otters and the location of the pearls. She goes along with the plan willingly thinking they were going to simply steal them without killing any otters. (Later on, Grath recognizes her) During the fight she is shocked that the crew was murdering all of the otters. She thinks that the sooner she finds the pearls the sooner the crew will stop killing the otters. She finds them and gives them to the captain. The captain doesn't stop the killing of the otters. Disappointed and disgusted with Captain Conva, she sneaks away trying to desert. (The captain never finds out and she never tells anyone and she doesn't get in trouble or try to do it again) She runs into Grath and the two of them fight. Even though Romsca is considerably younger and smaller, she's more of a fighter and more experienced with this sort of stuff like fighting with daggers because Grath only knew how to shoot a bow. She beats Grath easily. (Note: Romsca didn't even want to kill Grath. Grath jumped out at her and tried to protect herself because her family was being attacked. Romsca at this point is still not mean enough to intentionally kill someone, but not so much that she couldn't protect herself and kill someone who (she thought) is a crazy otter) Well, she thought she killed her. Grath's father, Lutra Longfletch finds what he thinks is Grath's dead body and injures Romsca with an axe and she loses sight in her right eye. Romsca later gets promoted to bosun because the bosun died in battle and she found the pearls. Graylunk thought he found the pearls first and he gets mad and wants them for himself so he and his friend Flairnose steal the pearls. The crew leaves, not caring that Graylunk and Flairnose have left because nobody liked them. Graylunk was the first mate so now that's what Romsca is. They almost get to Sampetra but then Captain Conva notices that the pearls are gone so they turn around and go back to Mossflower. When they get there although Flairnose has gone crazy he tells them that Graylunk's at Redwall.

You pretty much know the story from there.
Those are just notes. The real story will be so much better! Please don't correct my grammar here because I know it's horrible!

Please tell me what you think! ;D

That sounds awesome!

Awesome!

But one thing I don't understand, why would Lutra Longfletch injure his daughter when he finds what he thinks is a dead body?

I think Romsca was refering to Romsca.

I don't remember, but did Romsca have a sightless eye?

No but I always imagined her with an eyepatch for some reason.

I have new news for everyone waiting for this story to come out

I am actually using Romsca's father (obviously a made up character since the book doesn't say who he was) as one of my RP characters. But it's before she was born, so I won't be writing my story till that RP is done. Sorry!

Oh, ok.

I can't wait till you do, but don't feel rushed about the RPG

Its called Long Patrol. He's the vermin leader. We need a few more people though

I can't wait to read your story! Romsca is awesome  :D

In case ano of you want to join long patrol you can I'm still letting people in

Hey I saw the poll.....what's so exciting about her as a little kid?

Quote from: Romsca on January 21, 2013, 04:24:49 PM
Hey I saw the poll.....what's so exciting about her as a little kid?

I don't really know, only it would give her more history.

nice work romsca,i will definitly read this story :) it sounds cool

Quote from: phoenixfoden on January 24, 2013, 01:04:41 AM
nice work romsca,i will definitly read this story :) it sounds cool

when i get to writing it  :P

I think it should be her parents, because it would put some history.

Or you could write a second book after that, as to put some history.

Like make a series of book from different times in her life.

Oh! I know!.......
....
........
uh.... I just forgot! :D

Don't post spam in my topic, please

LOL, sorry!

Anyone think I should still write this?

Yeah, totally!!

Sure, go for it. You have been planing it ever since you got on this forum.

YES!

The results are in, so the poll will change

The story should start with...

Her parents: 3
Her as a baby: 3
Her as a little kid: 9
Just before Pearls of Lutra starts: 0

I am always open to more ideas!! I have some, but since there's people on this forum as young as ten, most of them wouldn't work. Maybe I'll actually get something on paper (or computer), eventually.

She must have been in her Mid-twenties. Like 25

I'd see here in her early twenties. Around 25, meybe...

At least 30, IMO. 27 at the youngest.

How come?

Hmmm...I know it will be hard for you to not write what you would normally write for older readers. You'll just have to work around that. It could most likely be a little more smoochy (is that a word?) than the Redwall books, kinda like the Brotherband Chronicles. Just nothing to graphic....And (not saying you would) but I would advise you stay to Redwall bad words... hellgates and so on. The rest is, or can be cake. I'm sure you have a great imagination, I know it will turn out great. If you need help, feel free to ask me (PM) for some good ideas. I would be happy to help.

Do you think I should write the whole story first and then post a "clean version" on the Redwall site?

Quote from: Romsca on April 04, 2013, 01:05:54 AM
Do you think I should write the whole story first and then post a "clean version" on the Redwall site?

What ever you want, or will work for you.

Poll change! ;D

Poll results:

17-18       2 (22.2%)
19-20       4 (44.4%)
21 or older (please specify)       3 (33.3%)
I have no idea       0 (0%)
Meh, I couldn't care less       0 (0%)
I hate Romsca!!! Why would I even want to answer this poll?!?!       0 (0%)
Who's Romsca?       0 (0%)

(I just copied and pasted)

EDIT: I'm better at drawing than writing, so I think I am going to make it into a graphic novel

It would be neat for a graphic novel but I would love it if you made a book

Go with whatever you like!  :)

Quote from: Romsca on December 08, 2012, 06:52:09 PM

Quote from: Skyblade on December 08, 2012, 01:34:17 AM
If they're too violent you can omit them or make them less gory somehow. The Redwall series does have some gruesome scenes but you're right, we don't want to post unpleasant stuff here.

Good idea but how? Sorry, i haven't written much more than english papers and such. I tried writing a redwall story before with a little less violence than i had in mind but someone who read it still said it was too violent  >:(

Well I think that violence should be in a story for a reson not just because you want it be violent and I think if you put a warning at the start of the chapter containing the violence then it should be fine  ;D and I know what you mean I get great ideas for story's but there quiet violent but I think if the violence is nesasery then it's fine  :D Oh and thanks for reviewing my story it gave me great pleasure reading what you said  ;D

I think a graphic novel would be cooler.

What is a grafice novel ???????????????????

A graphic novel is a book with pictures. It's not a children's "picture book"; manga and superhero comic books are examples of graphic novels

OK thanks  :)

I started writing notes on it a few days ago... but I'm stuck. Barranca happens to recognize her when he sees her at another island... and than what? Maybe inspiration will hit me, but I would appreciate any input you guys might have  ;)

I have an idea!!!! One of their ships (maybe Barranca's) is wrecked and they need to share a ship (Romsca's) to get off the Island!

That's interesting...