Redwall Abbey

You awaken on a platform, hanging effortlessly in space. Your comrades are next to you, also awakening. You look ahead to see the imposing figure of the Overlord, seated on a gold throne, wearing magnificent armor that would only suit the master of the universe. You know that if you have any hope of not being impaired on the scepter he held, you would need to do your job right.

Welcome to the fifteenth round of Overlord's Orders. I'm hoping to have one of the more creative rounds this time. Explain well, be smart, and most importantly, have fun. Let the sign ups start!

Quote
The Rules
We will have an overlord (or overlady), who will be all powerful and control the game.
Everyone else will be a servant of theirs to do his or her bidding, which will be a new assignment at the beginning of each round.
The game begins by the Overlord issuing a task, sending out their servants, and then summoning everyone before them and questioning them about whether they got the thing they wanted.
Any given round may have anywhere from a developing storyline and plot to pure and simple tasking. At times, the gamemaster (Overlord) may deviate from the general pattern and do something different at the end than just another task.

Example Round:
Let's say the Overlord might have wanted a jeep to use.
Stage 1: Introduction
The Overlord sends out their servants on a task and they return, and the Overlord will question their servants and ask them why they failed to bring them the thing they wanted (which will invariable happen, no one ever succeeds).
Stage 2: Defenses
Players can then blame their failure on some random thing (like maybe an elephant destroying the jeep) or someone else in the game; anything to shrug themselves off from fault.
Everyone can then blame someone, themselves, keep silent, or introduce some sort of new feature that happened while acquiring the item (in this case, a jeep). Eventually, the Overlord will process the information and decide who failed.
Stage 3: Punishment
The person chosen to have failed by the Overlord is then thrown out, vaporized, or something creative, by the Overlord's orders. The idea is to not be this person, and to survive as long as possible.

Likely, the Overlord will choose the best defenses as survivors.

Player defenses may not exceed 750 words per post. Unless your post has gotten noticeably quite long, you are unlikely to be hitting this limit.

Inter-game rules: The winner of any round is given host-ship of the next game. This can tie in with them going from servant to overlord, or it can be original.

General Guidelines:
Free roleplaying, or game spam, is fine. This means having yourself eat a banana, talk about the weather or river dance.

Whenever someone says something about an event, it becomes fact. It is what happened. If someone says an elephant destroyed a jeep, then anyone calling that person a liar is for certain lying; the jeep was destroyed by an elephant. What's up for telling by someone else is, for example, who set the elephant on the jeep. Also, a character doesn't know what someone else's motives were in doing or saying something -- they can speculate on those motives, but saying about someone, for instance, that "they meant to kill the Overlord" is not automatically factual.

Godmoding pertaining to persons should be restricted to some extent, just try to keep things with at least a hand in plausibility. Powerplaying is allowed. However, it cannot affect players between tasks. For instance, you cannot have a servants contract a disease and be unable to speak, or even die. You can have them be sick during the task, but you cannot impede them during the Sessions before the Overlord.
Normally, the Gamemaster will have technology restricting servants to a base during the game to prevent physically roleplaying and keep the game focused on its purpose. Overlords can power play.
Also, you cannot use an excuse like being brainwashed or cloned during the task. You are you - and you are responsible for what you did wrong.
All posts after the game begins should contain IC text; there should be no posts that are only OOC chatter.
No "backseat moderating". You may ask the Overlord whether someone else's post violates the rules, but do not tell that person, whether by making an OOC comment or PMing them, that they are in the wrong. The Overlord is responsible for managing the game.
Remember to keep things civil, stay inside the board rules, keep all hands and legs inside the game until it comes to a complete stop.

Past Overlords:
Overlords Order's I (http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=722.0) - Taggerung_of_Redwall
Overlord's Orders II (http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=888.0) - James Gryphon
Overlord's Orders III (http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=948.0) - DanielofRedwall
Overlord's Orders IV (http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=1088.0) - Matthias720
Overlord's Orders V (http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=1246.0) - Redwall Musician
Overlord's Orders VI (http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=1549.0) - Tiria Wildlough
Special Holiday Round 2012 (http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=3022.0) - Taggerung_of_Redwall
Overlord's Orders VII (http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=3361.0) - Matthias720
Overlord's Orders VIII (http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=4241.0) - Romsca
Overlord's Orders IX (http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=6441.0) - rusvulthesaber, James Gryphon/Tiria Wildlough
Overlord's Orders X (http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=6679.0) - Taggerung_of_Redwall
Overlord's Orders XI (http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=7007.0) - James Gryphon
Overlord's Orders XII (http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=7133.0) - Jasper
Overlord's Orders XIII (http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=7350.0) - LT Sandpaw
Overlord's Orders XIV (http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=7604.0) -  Delthion


Sign Ups:
LT Sandpaw (The Trendstarter)
Sagetip (The Enforcer)
Mhera (She's in, this time for real)
SilentSam (The Returned)
James Gryphon (The mod of your doom)
Izeroth (The Volunteer)
Skyblade (She's gonna do her best)
Pluggfiretail (He's gonna also do his best) Fed to 5 year olds eternally.
Jukka the Sling (The Rookie)
Lord_Ashenwyte (The late guy) Forced to listen to Bieber music and to be the subject for endless GIFs.

I'm in, but I have to warn you to fix your intro, I think you meant to put hope and you put something else ;)


Edit: Oh and I just want to say I STARTED AN OO TRADITION TO PUT AN INTRO INTO YOUR SIGN UP YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Whoops, thanks and accepted.

I'm in. *cracks knuckles*

I'm in.

I'm back!!! Happy 15th OO! And if I were to say, LT, you were not The trend-starter, Jasper was. I shall apply.

Actually he's not I am Muhahahahahaha You are all forced to put an intro into your OO sign up to follow tradition  ;D

I recall Taggergun did an intro in the first OO's

I just went and checked and there was no Intro in the sign ups so MUHAHAHAHA!

The first round to have an introduction in the first post was Rusvul in OOIX. LT did start the first unbroken chain of such an event, though, with him, Delthion and now Soren all doing it.

Besides my guess that nobody had thought of it before, I can speculate that another reason why most Overlords didn't have intros, or even think to put one in, is because they weren't sure where they wanted the story to go, and didn't want to commit to anything until the last minute. I know that was the case for me. Of course, that isn't always true; Tagg announced the holiday theme for the holiday round, and Matthias already knew he was going to do a Redwall-themed round. However, I'd speculate that it applied as often as not.

I'll sign up.

 I volunteer!

Oh no my overall joy at starting a awesome trend is now over because I have to compete with James again.

Challenged Accepted. ;)

All are accepted of course. I'll close sign ups late tomorrow so that everyone can have a chance to get on board.

YES!

I'm the Enforcer!

I would like to join. I'll do my best! :)

I also would like to join this round.

Quote from: Skyblade on April 07, 2015, 12:14:00 AM
I would like to join. I'll do my best! :)

oh snap...

Quote from: Mhera on April 07, 2015, 01:04:06 AM

Quote from: Skyblade on April 07, 2015, 12:14:00 AM
I would like to join. I'll do my best! :)

oh snap...

How Mhera really feels:

(http://i742.photobucket.com/albums/xx68/skyfallen_meli/Gifs/Shocked.gif)

I've never done this before, so I'd like to join.

I'm impressed with the turnout. All we need now is Rainshadow and we could have an epic round. ;)

Nine people already? This is going to be enjoyable! :D (I hope!) And I'm sure you all are very good.

Oh, and Soren. Just so people are aware, I'm going to be on a field trip from Wednesday to Saturday. The bus should have Wifi and the hotel should have (terrible) Wifi, but I'll see how active I can be. No need to postpone this, though.

@Plugg: That made my day ;D

Quote from: Mhera on April 07, 2015, 02:24:14 AM
@Plugg: That made my day ;D

Glad to be of service. ;D

Quote from: James Gryphon on April 07, 2015, 02:17:14 AM
I'm impressed with the turnout. All we need now is Rainshadow and we could have an epic round. ;)

It's all that subliminal advertising I'm doing with my profile pic.
@Sky
I see, tell you what. I'm not going to have the first session until at least tomorrow, so that might give you some time.

I'm leaving tomorrow ;D

It's okay, Soren, feel free to start whenever YOU want :) I'm just letting you all know so in case I suddenly don't post, you can have an idea why. And maybe not kick me out ;D

Can I still join?

Wow Soren, I hope your up for reading really long complex posts with all these people, I remember that was the worst trying to decipher what exactly was going on. It was a nightmare with four people. ;D I had to kill most of mine off because the they were inactive,
                 Good Luck.

So we will start probably tomorrow, once I have the session subjects worked up.

Yeah, i'm going to be out Wednesday - Saturday also. I may be able to post during that time, but maybe not.

Sign ups are officially closed.

OOC: I'll double post for this:
BIC:
You wake, aboard a transport vessel in deep space. Slowly, your vessel starts to approach a vast nebula. Your alone in your vessel, the cockpit is on some kind of auto pilot and through your window you can see your comrades in their own vessels, like you. Your convoy nears the mysterious nebula, and the lights on your ship go dark, leaving you in pitch black space, except for the brilliantly colored gas clouds in the nebula. You are instantly transported to a platform, outside of your vessel, in open space. You can breathe, somehow, without a suit on.
As you look up, you see the imposing figure of your overlord. Standing clad in glistening gold armor, a scepter in his hand. He looked down on you.
"My new servants. Welcome to the Sørenian Nebula. I am your overlord, Soren. You will do my bidding, and exactly how I command you. You will follow my every order to the letter.
"Now, I have decided to test you. Your first task isn't of much difficultly. You will be transported to space station K7. You will assist their engineering staff, they're short handed this week. You will return in seven days. Do all Chief Engineer Wuggers tells you to do."

Three weeks later...

The overlord sat down on his throne, wondering how could people of this kind can be so troublesome .
"I told you to assist the engineering staff in anyway they needed assistance. What did you do? You arrived at the station, only to attack they're antimatter reactor with phasers! Then, you tried to take the bridge! And what is this I'm hearing about a army of space flowers attacking the station because "The Overlord's servants are fools"? You threw chief engineer Wuggers out the airlock, so know I have to replace him too. Then you stole a shuttle and headed for the nearest moon, crashed the shuttle, and I had to teleport you here myself so that someone could survive and tell the story. Now speak!"

Let me explain.

One of my compatriots, Plugg Firetail, had paid Wuggers a considerable amount to imprision us. Plugg said, before we were locked up, what he was planning on using the power of the station to destory you! Wafter we were locked up, I figured out the only way to get out was by destorying the main reactor. With the nifty glass window overlooking the reactor room, I was able to use by concealed pistol to destoryi it. However, Plugg had Wuggers by the throat and was threatening to kill him if we attacked thhe bridge. However, I had an idea and was ableto break in with out incident. But, LT purposely opened the airlock and forced Plugg to release Wuggers. When we tried to stop LT, he let Wuggers go out the airlock' before closing it. I´m sorry to say that we had o steal the shuttle to save our lives from the exploding station. It was Ash´s fault we crashed.

Stepping forward one of the servants cautiously raised a hand.

"Uh your lordship we arrived at K7 very promptly, We met Wuggers who had a small force of security guards ready to imprison us. He later interrogated me and said he had received a payment and a tip that someone was going to betray you your lordship.

Well later Sage used a hidden pistol too  to help us escape, I was unable to tell them that Wuggers was on our side and they started shooting everything they could. Well then I made a distress call too you but instead we contacted a group of space flowers. I was going to hang up when Sage grabbed the communicator and started yelling insults at the flowers.

Well then they got angry and warped to us and attacked K7. I had never fought flowers before but those things can pack a punch. Well we were fighting for our lives when Plugg turned up holding Wuggers by the throat. I tried to save him but someone kicked me repeatedly and I fell accidently throwing Wuggers out the airlock.

I panicked then fought my way though a bunch of Poppies where I was hit. I later felt someone pick me up and carry me too the ship then I blacked out until we were teleported back here.

Allow me to explain, most gracious Overlord.

All that the others have already said is truth, but not the complete truth. LT left out the bit where after he accidentally contacted the space flowers, he began telling them the most egregious lies about how your operation is one of pure evil and your space station must be destroyed to prevent various evil things from happening evilly. Sage, enraged at LT's trickery, snatched the communicater from his hand and began hurling insults. When I tried to stop them, Sky tackled me and then sat on me, muttering something about how you must be prevented from carrying out your plans, oh Overlord. Struggling and unable to get up I called to James to help me, but he just leaned against the wall and ate a snickers bar, saying something about how he'll keep watch for the others. I tried calling for the guards, but Jukka suddenly appeared and gagged me. Forgive me for lacking sufficient strength to successfully resist, sir, but I did all I could do. It was only after the space flowers finally attacked that the others released me to fight. During the course of the battle Ash must have slipped off and caused the K7 to crash, just as Sage said.

OOC

(http://littlefun.org/uploads/520be02ac856117033000007_736.jpg)

[close]

Overlord, Mhera hasn't told you the whole truth. I gagged her because I feared that if she alerted the guards, we'd be in even more trouble than we already were. But when the space flowers attacked, in the confusion I managed to push Skye off her so she was able to get up and fight.

During the fight I saw both Ash and LT slip away together toward the cockpit. However, being surrounded by various flowers and fighting for my life, I was unable to stop their evil plan.

Sir, I feel I should clarify that I had no knowledge of Jukka's intentions when she gagged me, nor did I claim to. Regarding her I merely stated what I observed.

In the midst of the accusations that had been flying from person to person like arrows, a certain servant had been unable to speak. When a momentary silence was just beginning to settle, Skyblade seized the opportunity. She stepped forward and bowed respectfully to the Overlord. When she looked up, her eyes were inquisitive and calm.

"Sir, I had none but the best intentions in mind. Please allow me to clarify this debacle.

Everything that the others say is true. However, some details were left untold. When we had just arrived at the station, I had to relieve myself. I was trying to find the restroom when I heard mumbled voices. Out of curiosity and concern, I followed them. I snuck a peek around the corner and saw Mhera, Sam, and James speaking. Neither of them saw me, for I glanced very stealthily and drew my head back. But I listened, for they were talking very suspiciously.

"So we are going to overthrow the Overlord Soren?" Sam said.

"Yes," said Mhera.

"Finally," added James, "I've always wanted to get rid of him."

"Let's do this soon," said Mhera.

"Agreed," said Sam.

Then they walked off.  I quickly went back to the group before they saw me. I wanted to warn the others, but Izeroth told me he didn't care, and the others weren't listening. Then, we were locked up.

And just to make it clear, I did not do anything to deliberately harm or try to harm you (such as killing or overthrowing you) before, during, or after this event. I had no part in the conspiracy or planning of it. I just listened to it going on and tried to do something smart about it.

When I saw Mhera going to the communicator, the conversation lit up in my head. What if she was going to do something bad? I sat on her to keep from moving, and said I would overthrow you to pretend to be on her side and gain her trust so I could buy time. After what I heard, I couldn't trust some of my fellow servants. I didn't mean any of that; I just needed so stall. When she yelled for James, I was even more worried because I knew he was part of the group plotting to overthrow you. Then, Jukka pushed me off even though I told her that she was planning to get rid of you.

Then, the space flower battle. I fought for my life. Sand failed to mention that the only reason he was knocked out is that he was doing the hokey pokey in the middle of battle, even though we all know that dancing actually enrages space flowers of all kinds. Don't ask me why he did this because I have no idea. I saved his life by pushing him out of the way of an attacking Poppy, but he was knocked unconscious because his dancing had already provoked other flowers. I fought them off and was extremely occupied by that. I was knocked out soon after, and I woke up here."

After this explanation, the servant stepped back. "Never did I mean any harm to you, Overlord. My heart is pure and my mind free of such corruption. I hope you make the right choice."

"Sky is correct in saying I was preforming the hokey pokey to anger the flowers. Since I was panicking at the time the first thing I thought of was having the flowers all attack me allowing the others to pick them off. By preforming the dance I might have saved their lived but then I got hit by one of the shots and I fell. Its thanks to Sky that I am still alive."

OOC: I owe you! :)

IC: Sky nodded and smiled at her ally. "Sand is right. I understand. Also, he and Plugg were the only ones who listened to me when I was telling the others about the plot of Mhera, Sam, and James. He said, "You're right, Sky, we need to do something to stop their overthrowing" and Plugg said, "I agree. We need to stop them as soon as we can." Everyone else (Izeroth, Ash, Jukka, Sage) ignored my warnings and made it clear they didn't care what happened to you."

With all due respect, sah, I was unable to help and assist my compatriots because I had to keep the space station from crashing. I tried to the best of my ability, sir, and was about to safely land it on nearby moon when Jukka leaped onto me, shouting "Nooooo! We have to let the space station crash, it'll kill us all!" She had a sleeper hold on me and for the rest of the time I was inactive.

Sir, I did indeed meet with Sam and James. They had approached me before the mission about overthrowing you, and even though the very idea is abominable to me I agreed to join them. You see, I wanted to know their plans so I could thwart them. As it turns out I had no need to, because after they had asked me to join them I asked Plugg for advice on what to do and he said, "Don't worry, I'll take care of this. Just continue to play along with them." I did and left the matter in his hands. Unfortunately I had no idea that his solution was to get us all imprisoned, but it did indeed stop Sam and James' original plan.

James rolled his eyes. ""Oooh, look at me, my heart is pure from all corruption, I never do anything wrong." Pffft. Give me a break! I'll tell you the real story about what happened, without gross misinterpretations of the facts like what these kids would have you believe."

"When we were on our way to the station, I was going through the cargo room as a part of our assigned duties on our ship. I happened to notice a big box sitting in the corner. It had this label on it: "WARNING. DO NOT OPEN UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. CONTAINS ALL KINDS OF EVILS." With that warning, I had no intention of letting all those horrible things out. But apparently Sky felt differently. She skipped into the room, humming some ditty from that new kid's movie "Sleeping Cinderpanzelsa White", and asked me, "What you doing?" I said, "Don't worry about it, dear." (She insisted that we all call her "dear" that at the beginning of our trip, and started hysterically crying whenever we left it out of a sentence.)

She said, "What's in the box? Can I see can I see can I see? What's this say? Read it to me." I said, "It says bad things are in the box; leave it alone, dear." She pouted and said, "It's a present, isn't it. I wanna see!" Before I could stop her, she opened the box! Shape-shifting 4th-dimensional space monsters flew out of the box, cackling with glee. They disappeared into thin air, but their work was far from over. Everything your Majesty had worked so hard to build was at dire risk of being completely destroyed by these evil monsters."

"I knew that the only way to stop them was invented by the space flowers. Knowing that we were all in danger of being killed by the shape-shifting monsters, I privately warned everyone else about this threat, and advised them to talk about your Majesty as though we were against you, so that they would think we were their allies, and not kill us. I had to deliver this important message in sign language, while talking out loud about overthrowing you, so I guess some people might have misunderstood me. Anyway, this is what Sam and I were doing on the station later on."

"After Sandpaw and Sage lured the space flowers to the station, things were looking up. I took an anti-space-monster detector and eliminator from a space flower's remains. I was looking for monsters when Mhera was being attacked; while I was sympathetic, space monsters can kill in a moment, and I knew it was top priority to make sure that we didn't miss any of them. I was successful. None of us were killed by space monsters, although the flowers did take heavy losses. I'm very sorry to have had to even speak about your Majesty in a less than positive light, but given the circumstances it was necessary to do it, to allow us some hope of completing the mission. Rest assured that I would never consciously betray your Majesty."

Overlord, the reason I jumped onto Sage was due entirely to the fact that Mhera hit me on the head with a heavy broom, which she was using against the space flowers. I have no idea why she was using it, since there were plenty of blaster guns right by her. Anyway, I was dazed and wandered into the cockpit. Sage was driving, and Ash and LT were lying on the floor, unconscious. (I realized later that they had attempted to hijack and crash the station.) Not knowing what was going on, I jumped on Sage and yelled, "Noo! We have to let the space station crash, it'll kill us all!" I finally realized what was happening three minutes later when the space station crashed. But, as you see, it was all Mhera's fault.

Also, I was one of the few who actually understood James' sign language.

Sky smiled in amusement. "Well crafted response, but I'm afraid I need to justify myself:

You see, all of us together as a group had found out about Opposite Day. We all agreed to go along with Opposite Day and all say the opposite of what we really meant. It wasn't my idea, but I went along with it.

We all found out that the day I ended up opening the box was the bona fide Opposite Day and agreed to say the opposite of what we really meant no matter what. Again, this wasn't my idea, but Izeroth said it would "improve our critical thinking". So when James told me the box contained bad things, I thought he meant good things. He didn't tell me that this was an exception to Opposite Day whatsoever, and all of us were still going along with the Opposite Day. I never told him to stop saying the opposite of what he meant.

Anyway, Opposite Day ended after this. The day we arrived at the station was the following day.

As for the dear thing, I just lost a very good friend of mine who used to always call me "dear". As I missed him so much, I cried at the very thought of him. To alleviate my pain, I asked my allies to do me a small favor and call me "dear". It wasn't a big deal and it wasn't anything bad, sir.

Also, I didn't understand James' sign language because I never learned it. I know you ordered al of us to learn at one point, but I never got to because some of your other servants kept canceling my registration to a perfectly fine and good sign language school. I apologize for this misunderstanding; this is the reason why it occurred."

Sir, I was using a broom to fight as anyone paying attention could see that the blaster guns next to me were just dummy guns used for training and absolutely worthless in a fight. My hitting Jukka in the head with the broom was an accident.

Now as for Jukka's implication that I'm to blame for crashing the K7, it seems nonsensical especially since she herself just admitted to jumping on Sage and shouting how the station must crash and kill us all. In her defense, however, she used the vague pronoun "it" when referring to whatever it was she is accusing me of; it is quite possible she is blaming me for the delicious breakfast I bought everyone before the mission, and for that I accept full responsibility.

Overlord, Mhera did indeed buy us breakfast before our mission started, and it is for that reason that I was accusing her of being the root cause of the space station's demise. You see, the day before this (which was Opposite Day), I overheard Sage muttering something to himself about how he was so stupid and how he thought I was awesome and how he had NOT slipped a timed-release poison capsule in my breakfast that Mhera had bought three weeks before. Of course, since it was Opposite Day, I quickly realized that I had been poisoned, and that it might take effect at any moment. I searched the ship all that day for an antidote, but found none.

The next day, the day of the chaotic attack and crash, I think that Mhera's whacking me with a broom and the poison (which, luckily, wasn't enough to be fatal) combined to send me into a daze which lasted long enough for the ship to crash. Thus, Mhera's buying of breakfast is indeed the root cause of the station's demise. Would I lie to you, Overlord?

Sir, I bought the time release capsules and then hid them on a stray asteroid to prevent any of your other, potentially unloyal servants from attaining them and then using them to poison you. I noticed the day before that some were missing from where I had stashed them and assumed a wild space creature had stolen them. Thanks to Jukka's information I now realize it was actually Sage. My buying breakfast was solely to make sure everyone went into the mission well-fed and feeling good, sir, and I'm sorry that Sage used it for more nefarious purposes.

As for Jukka, putting it frankly, sir, it was irresponsible for her to go on with this mission when she knew she was poisoned and could become a potential liability.

I'm sorry, alright? I never meant to poison Jukka, I just... well, it was Halloween the day before, and the spirit of Death Day just kinda took ahold.

Perhaps it was somewhat irresponsible to go on with the mission without telling anyone, but I am by nature a paranoid person, and I didn't know who among my companions I could trust. James, perhaps, but I wasn't completely sure, so I searched for an antidote myself.

OOC: One day is a pretty short time for a round, especially one with this many people in it.

"I can attest about the Opposite Day nonsense. Here's how it all started. Sage and Plugg had been arguing very loudly, and yelling insults at each other. When Sage screeched, "NOOO, I'M AWESOME, AND YOU ARE STUUUUPIIIID, YOU STUPID STUPIDITY STUPIDITY STUPID STUPIDY-HEAD STUP MAN", so loud that it burst one of Jukka's eardrums (the poor girl has a condition, and her ears are especially sensitive), well, Sam had had enough. He screamed, "STOP SCREAMING!!!" This shocked everyone into being quiet, as Sam is known for being silent. He continued, "I'm sick to death of hearing this argument! If you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all." Plugg growled, "Not much chance of me saying anything that sounds nice to this ninny, unless it's Opposite Day." Izeroth and Ash cheered, "OPPOSITE DAY!!! YAAAAAAY!" Izzy looked up what day Opposite Day was on the Externet. It turned out to be the day after that day. So, he went around telling everyone, "We should celebrate Opposite Day; it will improve our critical thinking", over and over and over and over and over again. Eventually, we all said "Fine" just to get him to shut up."

"As for why I spoke normally, confusing Sky, it was because I was very tired and stressed out. You see, Izzy was all fired up about celebrating Opposite Day when it was just an idea, but he was depressed when we actually started doing it, and he walked around constantly saying "We should celebrate Opposite Day; it will improve our critical thinking" in a very whiny, sarcastic tone, starting at midnight (when Opposite Day officially began), and continuing for the next 24 hours. He even took stimulants so that he could keep the rest of us from getting any sleep by repeating this over and over again. The reason I took on the duties in the cargo bay was to get away from him. So, I was half-asleep, and reflexively answered Sky normally. I tried to correct myself when I realized my mistake, but by then it was too late and she had already opened the box."

"I wasn't there when Sky was sending her forms in to school, but Jukka had told me about what happened. She said that every time Sky pressed the "Register" button on the sign language school's website, she would then get off the computer, forgetting to log out of her account. Then, when Sage got on the computer, he would keep pressing the "Cancel Registration" button, at Plugg's request. Plugg's supposed to have said something about it being fun, that they could teach Sky wrong sign language themselves and cause her to misinterpret everything. I guess he hadn't gotten around to doing it before this mission started, though."

My overlord, Yes, we talked about "overthrowing" you, but, as James said, was to pretend that we were on the flowers's side. And, it was all crazy after that, but if I try to explain the rest, they would argue with me, and I don't want to have too much attention.

OOC: Maybe you can still join?

Soren, I know this is hard to tell, but when might you be done judging this round? Plugg and Ash haven't replied yet, and it may or may not be their fault.

IC: Skye stepped forward again. "Sir, the first time, I forgot to log out because there was so much going on at the time. The second time, I was determined to not forget because my registration had been canceled earlier. However, a few other servants burst in saying they needed me for something important (and not evil). They dragged me out of the room to help them out, and I had no chance to log off my account. That must have been when my registration got canceled again. All because I tried to do something good for you and my team."

Soren sat in his chair, taking in all the pathetic  responses  from his servents. He raised his hand to signal the end of excuses.
In a deep, booming voice, the Galaxy heard:
"PluggFiretail and Ashenwyte. You should be ashamed of yourselves for not even having the courage to give a response. But I will only punish one of you. The one of you who had tried to hijack my $567 trillion dollor space station."
Ashenwyte was lifted from his platform, and hurled into a small cube, with huge speakers. All of the sudden, he cried out in agony, rolling on the floor, covering his ears.
"He is feeling the full effect of the Justin Beiber music I'm playing for him at 300 decibels."
A small camera appeared in front of the glass container Ash was in, recording his agony.
"That will make an epic GIF."

"Your next task can't be that hard for you. Surely you won't ruin it too.
I am sending you to Best Buy to buy me a new iPad cover. This one is too plain. I want one for me to be able to use it to watch movies easily. This shouldn't take too long, here's $150 to spend on it."

Seven days later...

Seven days. Seven days I could have been watching Star Trek on my iPad, but instead have had to been monitoring your progress in this overdue mission. And some progress you made.
You not only blew up my favorite Best Buy, but you ran out of it wearing flaming hats! Then I see you made it all the way to the Starbucks, where you promptly bought $800 worth of espresso and charged it to my credit card, then I see you raided Matt Damon's house and you female servants woke him up, by kissing him! And you male servants! What did you do? You ate his nachos, then puked all over the house. HIS NACHOS! Don't you know those are practically sacred?! Explain yourselves!

Sky stepped forward.

"Let me just make it clear that I did not say or do anything deliberately harmful against you. It was not my idea to spend all your money at Starbucks or kiss Matt Damon. Neither was it to blow up the Best Buy. I will tell my full story in a bit."

OOC: Matt Damon? Seriously?

BIC: I can explain, Overlord. You see, we were taking Sky's station wagon to the Best Buy and James was driving. We were almost there when he suddenly floored the pedal and the car lurched off at a speeds I was not aware a station wagon was capable of going. We zipped past the Best Buy and attracted the attention of a cop, who promptly started chasing us. James only went faster, screaming about how your reputation must be ruined and your rule overthrown, oh Overlord. Sam jumped for the wheel and somehow managed to get control of the car just as James was about to lose control. Unfortunately we got a flat tire and the cop caught us, and we ended up spending six days in jail.

On the seventh we were freed and we walked to Best Buy. I don't know where the others were, but I found the iPad cover you requested (on sale and using some coupons I searched for it was half price) and was at the the check out when I heard people shouting. Next thing I know I see Plugg and Sky terrorizing your other servants by jamming hats made from the paper adds at the front of the store onto their heads and lighting them on fire. Before I could run they did the same to me. Then I saw flames arising from the gaming section; apparently Izeroth and Jukka had playing a lot of video game trials and overheated the system. Everyone began running out of the building, myself included, while the flames spread and eventually caused the building to blow up. We didn't stop moving until we'd made it to Starbucks, where LT decided to buy all that espresso to extinguish our fiery hats. Before we could stop him the chirpy cashier had filed his order and started dumping the coffee on our flaming caps. We had no choice but to flee.

Sage led us to Matt's house, sir. James broke in and we found Matt asleep. Sky said we should let him know we were in his home somehow. That was when I saw Plugg getting out a spare paper hat and lighter and talking about how Matt Damon should be woken up. Seeing as Matt was in a nacho induced coma and Plugg was about to jam the hat on his head I did the first thing that I was sure would wake him up, oh Overlord. It was upsetting to all involved but necessary.

"Your Majesty, this might sound bad, but I have a good explanation for what went wrong. You see, what I never knew about the station wagon is that Sky had some demented modifications made to it, based on her favorite kart racing game. It came with a headset. When I asked about it, Sky giggled and said, and this is a direct quote: "We need that! It makes driving fun!" I was wary and said that "maybe she should drive (dear)", but she said, "I can't, some meany revoked my license. Besides, you're the best big brother and I want you to do it." Jukka had driven Sky's vehicle before, but Sky insisted that I, and only I, drive it, and started to cry. Everyone else melted over Sky's Bambi eyes. Mhera told me, "There's no reason why you shouldn't drive it. If you don't, I'll report you to the Overlord!" So, I agreed, under protest. Even in my wildest nightmares, though, I never could have imagined that the headset was to be the instrument of our near-doom."

"The car refused to start up without me having the headset on, so I put it on as instructed. Superimposed over my vision of the road were all sorts of glowing rings, with arrows pointing towards them. This was very distracting, as it kept score of how many rings I went through, and the screen flashed red (blinding me) whenever I "missed" one. The headset seemed to prioritize going through these rings over safe driving."

"In spite of all this and a few near-collisions, we had almost made it to the Best Buy, when all of the sudden, the headset started flashing, blaring music, saying I had "powered up", and that it was time for a "silver ring level turbo boost!!!" The car started to accelerate, totally against my will. I pressed on the brake pedal as hard as I could, but nothing happened. If anything the car seemed to go even faster. I admit I was afraid at this point, and screamed that we were going to die due to Sky's stupid deathmobile, which would ruin your reputation for picking great servants, which would result in your rule being overthrown when you were forced to rely on inferior help. The headset was blinding me at this point with its "extreme turbo challenge mode", and I couldn't see to steer. Thankfully Sam saved all of our lives by taking the wheel. Unfortunately, he couldn't do it in time to avoid hitting the nails the police set up in the road."

"My head hit the airbag when we came to an abrupt stop, leaving me with a concussion. The first thing after we got out of jail that I clearly remember was Mhera asking me to get a door open, saying that we needed to get in to save her parents' lives. Well, I believed her, carefully took the door off of its hinges with a special technique, and stood somewhat bemused as all of the girls ran through it shrieking like banshees, into what I learned was actually Mr. Damon's house. Sky squealed, "He's so CUUUUUUUTTTEEEE!!!". I'm still surprised that wasn't enough to wake him up. It might not have been her idea to kiss him originally, but she sure got in her share after the others had led the way."

"Anyway... the nachos were on top of a dish, with forks next to them. Plugg was outraged, and said that Matt, as a purist nacho-lover, would be horrified to have utensils next to his nachos. He said the risk of psychological trauma and the possibility that Matt Damon would never be able to bring himself to eat nachos again meant it was necessary we eat them instead. That didn't sound right to me, but the rest of them started chowing down. They gorged themselves on most of the nachos, more than they could handle, and left just a small serving, which they had been so kind as to spit in while talking with their mouths open. I ate the remaining nachos to prevent Mr. Damon from eating contaminated nachos and getting sick. Sage's germs were in there, and I got very ill after I had finished. The end result was predictable and unavoidable.

"On the surface, I might have appeared to have been doing wicked deeds. However, I was trying all the time to arrange everything for the ultimate good of your Majesty, the public welfare, and the mission."

OOC: 743 words

IC: Sky stepped forward immediately. "Sir, I think I need to get a word in before any more people add their limited views of this situation.

I had the station cart in case of an emergency, and it's a good thing I was prepared. What my allies failed to mention is that at the time of our mission, all normal cars were banned for an eco-friendly cause. Thankfully, the restriction would last only for a few weeks, but we couldn't wait that long to fulfill your mission. Nobody else had any other mode of transportation that wasn't a car.

Now, I will confess that I added some modifications. However, I in no way intended for them to be demented, as James puts it. I asked a kindhearted expert to modify my cart a little, adding traits from a kart game that would improve the functionality such as faster speed and endurance. We needed those to be more successful. None of these modifications were bad or breached any rule or law. When I went for about twenty minutes to relieve myself (I wouldn't have taken so long, but some servants were doing something destructive in your restroom so I had to walk a long way to find another one), I came back to see that he was done.

Now, I would have driven, but as James said my license was revoked. It wasn't my fault, as Sam and Izeroth requested that my license be destroyed even though I had done nothing wrong. I would have asked Jukka next, but her hands were soaked in mustard. Not the best for driving. I have no idea why she was doing that, and she didn't tell me, either. So, of course I went to James. He is the adult. When he asked me about the modifications, I told him they were good because I was unaware of what had happened (as I will explain later). I tried to explain that he should drive because he's the adult, I don't have a license and might get in trouble if I drive, Jukka was being weird, and nobody else has a license except him, but he said, "I don't want to drive that stupid thing. I'm a grown-up, and that's for kids. Plus, I would rather sit in the back and eat tacos. Who cares if we all get in trouble?" I was desperate by this point – we needed to complete this mission! So I resorted to emotional appeal, and everyone finally listened. You have to do what you have to do.

Now, at first I thought everything was going to be fine. But the cart was acting very weird. I kept asking, "What's going on?" Finally, Mhera and Sage fessed up and said they had asked for the expert working on my car for demented modifications while I was in the restroom. All of them did so knowingly, you see. Sage held him down while Mhera held a gun to his head and said, "We need these horrible modifications made." I had known nothing about this whole thing, but everyone thought I had done it because I had ordered the guy to fix my station cart in the first place. So it was blamed on me.

And...the Best Buy. Mhera said she would get the iPad, so Plugg and I decided to save everybody's lives. We explained to the entire group that crazy lice from outer space had invaded, and the only way to get rid of them was by wearing a hat on fire for five minutes. This is true by the way – it was on the news. We explained to everyone else in the store, but they kept freaking out even though it was on the news because Izeroth and Sam insisted that we were "a crazy couple you can't trust". And then Mhera indeed tried to buy the iPad, but she left it on the cashier thingy for some reason. So Sand and I grabbed it and rescued it from the fire.

For some reason, once we got to the house, Sage said to scream at the top of my lungs, "He's so cute!" I said, "Why?" but he forced me into it. As for the kissing, Mhera and Jukka had already kissed him and said that, "Three kisses will make him very happy in a good way!" in a sing-song voice. That sounded weird but I kissed him anyway just to give him that happiness.

Well, he is so cute.

I never meant to make the demented changes! Well, I did, but only because Izeroth threatened to steal all the PS4 games fro Best Buy before he blew it up. Well, I couldn't let that happen, so I had to to what I had to do.

Meanwhile, I was watching Sky and Plugg do some stuff that was suspicious. Namely putting I virus into the entire Best Buy mainframe! After that, I heard them plotting to put the Phalanx virus into your computer mainframe, so I had to leave the action for most of the time. After deactivating the virus, I returned to Mr. Damon's house, where I fan-girled when seeing the guy himself. After recovering, I happened to see James recklessly driving a Mariokart Go-kart on a crash course for the house! Even worse, three redshells had been deployed in front of him. I tried to stop him with my sugarscooter, but Mhera ran in front of me, yelling "No! The house has to be detroyed! I love Matt Damon!" so my  rescure attempts were thwarted.

With a slight look of confusion on of the servants stepped forward, he looked scared and kept glancing back at James but he finally summed up his courage to speak.

"Sir the other's have given you a most accurate version of what happened, but I would like to explain my side of the story which is most enlightening."

"What happened was when we reached Sky's car I being a skilled driver in the race car industry offered to take the wheel. Everyone yelled no and said I would kill them all if I drove. Sky of course insisted I was good but everyone just ignored her and insisted James drove. Well I had no reason to want to drive so I sat between Sage and Jukka who was dipping her hands in Mustard for some reason."

"Anyway we were driving kind of funny but I couldn't really see what was going on because I was cramped in the back of the car. All of a sudden we start swerving and James goes into this road rage yelling insults at the cops and driving crazily."

"Well to say the least we got caught by the cops and sent to jail for six days when I finally by the prompting of my fellows paid for the bail to get us out. When we left the jail Sage insisted we should walk which was a good idea so we all walked to BestBuy."

"Once there I waited outside having seen a hotdog stand, I was buying myself a hotdog when screams and smoke came from the BestBuy. Well I know about Plugg's urge to light everyone's tails on fire so I rushed in to help when someone jammed a lighted paper hat on my head.

"In the confusion I saw Sky and yelled for her to grab the Ipad case and run but she was being dragged around by Dellthion who was screaming In pain from his hat. I managed to grab it but it was knocked out of my hand and into the gutter by Sam who was fully aflame now."

"We all ran out and too a nearby Starbucks where I ordered the first liquid I could think of and lots of it. The sever was good and she soon had my order on the counter where I proceed to Save everyone's life by pouring the immediately hot coffee all over them."

"Well right about then James ran away again screaming we needed to escape from the Overlords wrath which is a legitimate concern. Well me and Mhera stayed behind to pay for the Coffee, she threw me a card saying it was hers and ran off after the others. I didn't bother to read it a not knowing it was yours sire I played for the coffee and sprinted after the others who were long since gone."

"Well I'm a skilled tracker so I followed the coffee droplets to some poor guys house. Where they had already woken him up and stolen his nachos. I was hungry and James said it was okay so I grabbed some too and shoved them in my mouth and realized they were bad, very, very bad."

"I started puking and couldn't stop until Sage called you using the communicator requesting to be brought out of this mess which was very considerate considering I was gagging on the floor. I don't know much about what happened during the rest of the mission. I was to busy trying not to give up and die."

Sir, my colleagues are only giving you the partial story of my actions and intentions.

I had been coerced into helping Sage scare the mechanic into making those horrible modifications by Sky, who threatened to kill my parents if I did not. Having no practically choice but to do as she said, I went along with Sage (who, I should mention, seemed rather gleeful about getting an opportunity to destroy the mission). Sky's claims that she knows nothing must be regarding the method we used to get the mechanic to comply, as she had given us no instructions about how to threaten him. The gun and holding the guy down were Sage's idea, sir. When I reported back to Sky what I had done and asked if she would remove her threat to my parents lives, she grinned like the Chesire cat and said, "No! You will confess your actions in front of the others when I request you to, leaving out all mention of me when you do so! Frame yourself well, girly!" So you see sir, it was my parents lives at stake. I really had no choice.

Now being aware as I was about the modifications made to Sky's car, I figured James was the only one capable of driving it well, seeing how he had been bragging the past three hours about his gaming prowess. That's why I shouted at him, sir, though I realize now I should have used a better threat then "I'll tell the Overlord!" as it appears the man has no respect for you. It was the first thing that popped into my mind, though, as every thought I have correlates somehow to serving you honorably.

The reason I left the iPad cover at the check out was because I had not completed the transaction. Taking it would have been stealing, which would have further slandered your name, sir, beyond what these other kooky servants have already done. Sky has no such scruples and took it without a thought to the workers who made it trying to put food on the table for their families.

Now at the Starbucks I did throw LT a credit card, fully believing it to be mine. I would never knowingly waste your money, Overlord. Please forgive my mistake.

When we arrived at Matt Damon's house I was mightily confused and worried. You see, Matt's house looks exactly like my parents' house. Knowing that Sage and Sky were in cahoots and that it was Sage who had led us to the house, I feared for parents' lives that Sky was going to kill them anyway. I asked James to break in knowing that he's the biggest and strongest in the group, and possibly had prior experience in theft. Anyhow, we got in and to my relief it was not my parents' house but Matt Damon's. I was so relieved that I wanted to make Matt happy and asked Sky to kiss him as well (admittedly this was also part vengeance for her threatening my parents).

My comments to Sage were part of a successful attempt to keep him from making a bad situation worse. By completely confusing him I stalled his actions which appeared to be an attempt to punch Matt, who was standing right behind me watching James in the Mario kart.

OOC:

Quote from: SkybladeNow, I will confess that I added some modifications. However, I in no way intended for them to be demented,

I had known nothing about this whole thing, but everyone thought I had done it because I had ordered the guy to fix my station cart in the first place. So it was blamed on me.

I think this shows that I didn't have to do with the demented modifications. If there is disagreement, though, I'll do my best to find my way around it anyway. So no worries!

IC: "Sir, I need to clarify a few more things.

Firstly, Sage never sad what type of virus it was that Plugg and I installed in the Best Buy mainframe. It turns out that this was actually a rare, very good type of virus that would improve the speed of Best Buy's technology in a good and non-illegal way. We told Sage this, but he still got rid of the virus, hindering the working of Best Buy. As for the Phalanx virus, we never knew it was bad. James and a few other servants had insisted that installing the Phalanx virus would be good and moral. So we did exactly as they told us, and yeah. Sage did do good in getting rid of that virus, although eh got rid of the other good virus we had put up.

May I add that the Best Buy being on fire was because of the servants playing video games? It wasn't because of what Plugg and I did. As for the flaming hats, Plugg and I made it very clear to everyone that they were to be worn for only five minutes for each person. However, some people said, "We don't care what you say" and wore it for more than five minutes. That's how they were lit on fire. We warned them, but in the end it was their decision to not listen. I feel a bit bad for them, but Plugg and I did our best, sir.

Oh, and another thing. I took the iPad without waiting to make a transaction because we really had to get out quickly and save our lives. Also, there is an online, legal method to make transactions. I could make the transaction later and it would be fine and acceptable. So I did nothing wrong there."

Sky bowed respectfully once more.

OOC:

Quote from: SkyNow, at first I thought everything was going to be fine. But the cart was acting very weird. I kept asking, “What’s going on?” Finally, Mhera and Sage fessed up and said they had asked for the expert working on my car for demented modifications while I was in the restroom. All of them did so knowingly, you see. Sage held him down while Mhera held a gun to his head and said, “We need these horrible modifications made.” I had known nothing about this whole thing, but everyone thought I had done it because I had ordered the guy to fix my station cart in the first place. So it was blamed on me.

Quote from: MeSky's claims that she knows nothing must be regarding the method we used to get the mechanic to comply, as she had given us no instructions about how to threaten him.

I hope that makes sense. I'll try and smooth it out a little bit more here, but if there's still a problem I can edit.

Also, please don't take any of this personally. :)

BIC: Sir, I neglected to mention (please forgive me!) that Sky knew nothing about the demented and horrible modifications that Sage and I ordered. You see, she had originally asked for überevil modifications. Knowing a little about cars, I understood that überevil modifications are far more dangerous than demented and horrible modifications. So I managed to convince Sage that they were actually just as bad and so he agreed to ask for those, as they are also easier to say than what Sky had originally wanted. When Sky said that she thought everything was going to be fine it must have been because she thought the überevil modifications were about to take effect. I can only imagine her surprise when she realized that we had gotten less dangerous modifications, so it's no wonder she thought the cart was acting weird! That was when she began demanding what had happened and I framed myself just as she had commanded me to earlier. Thankfully she did not seem overly mad about my and Sage's noncompliance, probably because the mission was still compromised despite my actions.

Sire, please take pity on me, I had no idea about the virus. As a matter of fact, Plugg purposely stopped the information about the true purposes f the program from reaching me so I would still delet the virus.

Overlord, it is true that I was dipping my hands in mustard while in the station wagon. What can I say? I enjoy eating plain mustard.

And yes, it is true that Izzy and I were playing video games in Best Buy. After a while I noticed a bit of smoke coming from the console and suggested to Izzy that we should stop playing and go and find the others, but he just yelled, "No! I'm at the boss level!" Just then the game console burst into flames, and I ran. I don't know what Izzy did.

When I got to the front of the store, someone shoved a flaming hat on my head. I immediately threw it off, but it landed on a decorative plant and caught it on fire. Not bothering to grab it, I ran from the store with the others.

As for kissing Matt Damon, well, he's actually my husband. (He recently divorced his previous wife without any media sources knowing.) Not many know this, though. I have this cutesy song I sing to him sometimes: "Three kisses will make you happy in a good way, three kisses will make him happy in a happy way!" I hadn't seen him in a week, so I ran into his room and kissed him three times and sang the song. Unfortunately, Mhera ran in too, overheard me, and started singing it too. Then Skye also came in. I tried to get them out so they wouldn't wake him up, but finally gave up.

EDIT: Changed which order Mhera and Skye came in the room in.

Overlord, I will say that the others did not say the whole story correctly. The reason that I knocked out the iPad case into the gutter was that I was running around with plugg on my tail, pouring gasoline on my head, making me keep the hat on, or else he would pour gasoline on my face. Then, he pushed me, and I accidentally knocked the iPad case into the gutter. As for me eating the nachos, plugg, as if putting gasoline on my head wasn't enough, chocked me, and forced me to eat some nachos, which, Plugg poisoned a few, and made me eat those exact ones. As you can see, Overlord, it was not my fault, but it was Plugg's.

Overlord Søren, I'm afraid that Gryphon heavily misinterpreted my actions. I was extremely tired, you see, because Jukka and Sam had been mocking and insulting me the entire trip. Therefore, in my weakened state, I decided to do something equally annoying to get everyone to stop talking to me. I am terribly sorry for the result, and I assure you that it will never happen again.

Sir, I was only mocking Izzy because I wanted to test some new insults I'd read somewhere and thus improve my vocabulary. I didn't think he'd take it seriously. I cannot speak for Sam's reasons for mocking him, though.

OOC: I like Plugg! I'm trying to defend him.

IC: Sky stepped forward again and bowed. "Sir Soren.

As for threatening to kill Mhera's parents, I didn't mean literally killing them. You see, Mhera didn't let me finish the sentence. I was going to say, "I will kill your parents' reputation" but she cut me off before I said the last word. You see, it turns out that Mhera's parents are actually true thieves. They actually deserve to have their reputation ruined, because it would be to nobody's benefit to trust them. I know it's not Mhera's fault that her parents are like this, but this is my reasoning for my threat.

And there's something about this uberevil modification You see, sir, my station cart had contracted a harmful virus that would do something evil thanks to James and a few other servants. I had nothing to do this virus or the process of adding it, but soon found out about what had happened. I asked Mhera and Sage to install this because it was the only thing that can kill the virus. Also, the modifications go away after an hour, so it would be gone before our mission. I told Mhera all this, but she still changed the modifications to a different one that is permanent. This ruined our trip (and my station cart. Which I'm not very happy about, by the way).

I only meant to do something beneficial, and it seems Mhera didn't mean to do anything bad either. I heard something about a few other servants confusing her about my instructions, but don't know who was involved or how it went down. I had nothing to do with the confusion. I do know that whoever was involved wasn't Plugg. Because Plugg is Plugg.

And I said those things to Mhera because...well, to be honest, I was at first irked by her. She had changed the modifications, when it would have been fine if we had gone with the ubervil modifications that were programmed to disappear soon after anyway. That was before I found out that a few servants deliberately confused her.

And I needed Mhera and Sage to do it for me because I actually have a rare disease that means that I can be seriously injured, if not killed, if I got close to the uberevil modification. I am the only one in the group with said disease.

Also, when Jukka was trying to get us out of Matt Damon's room, she and Mhera were were still singing that song. I had no idea that this was a silly song Jukka had made up and truly thought they were being serious, as she and Mhera didn't tell me it was just a song. So I did as the song requested and kissed him really quickly, though I didn't really want to or enjoyed."

Sir, I cut Sky off because I had to call my parents immediately and warn them of Sky's threat. That was when my parents confessed to me that they were true thieves, which I had never known before (though now that I think about it that explains how they were able to buy a house that was a copy of Matt Damon's). It turns out that Sky had been their getaway car driver until she split from their gang for unknown reasons, taking their station wagon with her, which my parents had bought when they were still law abiding citizens. While Sky says I ruined her station wagon, it is only hers because she stole it. My parents to this day don't know why she left their gang, but they assumed it was because of an incident where they double-crossed her. Since Sky's disappearance they have lived in fear of her vengeance, which unfortunately fueled my misconception that Sky was threatening their lives. It's worth noting that while Sky says that their reputation should be ruined, she has yet to do so, possibly because it serves her better to blackmail me than bring justice to them and keep innocent citizens from getting robbed.

Now after learning about my colleague's dark past and believing that she wanted to kill my parents, how could I believe her when she explained the überevil modifications to me? I took my concerns to Izeroth and LT, who proceeded to confuse me as Sky said.

Oh, and Plugg was awesome when he wasn't busy lighting hats on fire, eating Matt's nachos, etc. He made us all nonpoisoned, nontoxic sandwiches while we were in jail.

Overlord, I was not mocking Izeroth, but rapping, I am taking a class in rapping, and what Izeroth failed to say was that I asked him if I could practice on him, and he accepted, but soon he "forgot", and was overly sensitive.

OOC: I'm going to be candid, Mhera, I'm getting tired of going back and forth like this :-\ I think that's enough after this post of mine, which isn't meant to accuse you but rather more to defend myself.

IC: Sky shook her head, her eyes sad. "Sir, you must understand me. I would never do anything evil on purpose. Please allow me to explain.

At that time I never knew Mhera's parents were thieves. They lied to me, saying that they were like Robin Hood and "stole from the rich and gave to the poor". You know, like that Disney song. I was eager to help a good cause and never questioned them because they are the parents of Mhera, a good person and friend. When I found out their true motives, I decided to escape immediately. The only way to do so was to take their station cart. For some reason, the one exit of their secret hideout only allowed you to leave if you rode a station cart through it. I guess for security purposes. So I took the cart and left at once, not wanting to help such a terrible cause.

The reason I never turned in her parents is that the national and true government already knew. They're working on tracking them down, and I am helping them. They haven't revealed it to the public in order to keep fear from sprouting in our country's soil. I threatened to ruin the reputation of Mhera's parents because the government has finally given me permission to disclose information regarding their motives and crimes. I will do so promptly, but had to threaten Mhera in order to have her do me simple favor. Besides, I was going to turn in these true criminals anyway.

I know Mhera isn't responsible for the actions of her parents. She in fact was not aware of what they did. So please don't blame her for this, but please keep in mind my intentions. I try to do what is right. I am sorry for allowing her parents to trick me and have learned my lesson. You can trust me."

Sky bowed once more, a sign of respect in Korean culture.

Soren grew tired of the endless excuses. "SILENCE!"
"PluggFiretail, you have chosen not to reply to these accusations. I have little choice but to believe them."
Plugg was instantly transported from the platform and disappeared. "Perhaps you would like to see the punishment of what his actions bring."
A image appeared, showing Plugg as he appeared in a giant cotton candy machine, where he was thrown in. A few seconds later, he appeared, served on a stick, wrapped in cotton candy. A  huge 5 year old with sticky fingers grabbed him, gobbling him up. Then he reappeared, dispensed I to the machine again. Another huge 5 year old grabbed him and ate him.
"This is true punishment." Said Soren to himself.

"I have a new task for you." He said to his terrified servants. "You will all be featured on a popular game show, for my enjoyment. All you have to do is play the game, and you will have succeeded. The game is called Name that Invertebrate! and all you have to do is guess what animal they're talking about. Then win the money, and I'll consider letting you keep it."

Three days later...
"You know, I'm getting pretty tired of hearing these reports come in. So, if I understand this correctly, you not only lost the game in the first round, but also managed to get the stage eaten by sharks, somehow. The host, that sweet old man, was found tied to a chair dressed in a pink bunny suit! Also, I hear that you James were sitting in a corner, crying for half an hour! Sky, you were flying around the set using video cables! Mhera, you of all people should know not to drink 70 GALLONS OF FREE PUCNH! Izeroth, what is this about you making a "secret pillow fort" under the stage?! Sam, why would you take it upon yourself to attack the viewers in the stands?! Jukka, I hear you even brought food, FLAMING BUCKETS OF MUSTARD!
And Sage, why were you rapping through the loud overhead speakers?! And finally Sand, what is this I hear about you running out of the filming studio screaming "Space centipedes in my hair"?!
SPEAK!"

Everything was going fine, intil the last question of the first round. Izeroth suddenly cried out, "42! the answer's 42!" When the question was "what is the average size of a blue-footed booby". After that, it all went downhill.

Mhera intentionallly brought Ralphie's aunt in, who promptly dressed the host in the bunny suit. Jukka was heard to say "you looked like a deranged bbunny" to the host, before tying him up.

Why was I rapping? Because there was a question that was "Can you rap like Skrillix?" so I had no choice. My full apologies, Lord.

Overlord, I brought buckets of mustard because one of the requirements for joining the show was to bring an unexpected object. They weren't flaming to begin with; for some reason Sam threw some gasoline and lit matches in them after I arrived. Don't ask me why.

I was doing completely fine on the game show until Ralphie's aunt (don't ask me who Ralphie is; I don't know), who is mentally unstable, attacked the innocent host and dressed him in a pink bunny suit complete with bloody jaws. Now, I have a bad history with pink bunnies, as when I was only six I was attacked by a pink bunny serial killer who looked almost exactly like the bunny suit. So, I had a panic attack, yelled, "You look like a deranged bunny!", and bravely tied him to a chair.

Also, just before this, Mhera had been gorging herself on free fruit punch. I warned her that she shouldn't do that if she didn't want to be running to the bathroom all day, but she just smiled and said, "I love fruit punch and I must drink it because Beatles!"

Izeroth had stolen a bunch of pillows off a sofa that was part of the stage décor and said he was going to make a pillow fort. Then he left, and I don't know where he went.

"S-sir I h-have a-an explanation." Said one of his servants who was still trembling. "When we got on the transport I had been nervously studying invertebrates with Sky who was very knowledgeable about those things. I hardly knew what they were so she offered to help me learn. Well the others were having a raging party on the transport and mostly ignored us.

Well when the game show started I of course got eliminated very quickly along with James who promptly began crying in the corner because he ruined his chance to do great things on TV. I sat with him trying to comfort him saying I had got out first and there was nothing to cry about.

Well towards the shows ending things started going crazy, I had almost gotten James to stop crying and I'm not usually very good at being kind when things just went haywire.

The contestants started doing crazy things and I was Izeroth run off cackling madly stealing pillows. I saw Mhera down massive amounts of punch. and the others do all sorts of random craziness. Well I left James crying in the corner and found Sky who was swinging around on cables. She said she was so happy that she won that she had to let her energy out somehow.

So I left her and ran over to Sam who was trying to kill people when he jumped on me. He was trying to rip my throat out with his teeth and would have if Sky hadn't knocked him off swinging around like she was.

Well then Mhera who was drunk from the amount of punch she drank threw a nest of centipedes from Mars on my head. She had found them backstage. I ran about like a chicken with my head cut off yelling that there was space centipedes in my hair.

Well I managed to get them off and hid with Sky in Izeroth's pillow fort while the others did all sorts of crazy randomness. We heard screams and yells and something about the FBI. Well we remained hidden and no one found us until we decided it was safe to come out.

We found all our companions asleep on the stage among what was left of the set. So we picked them up and carried them to the transport. Me Izeroth and Sky don't no what went down after we hid in the pillow fort but It can't be good."

Sir, apparently Jukka hasn't seen A Christmas Story. (just needed to clear that up, Jukka.

Sky stepped into the spotlight. "Firstly, thank you Sand for giving an unbiased record of my actions. That I appreciate." She smiled slightly and continued, "Sand was on point, but allow me to add a few more details.

While we were all (supposed to be) preparing for the game show, everybody was pretty much goofing off. I tried to convince them by saying, "We should study and prepare the best we can, you all. We will do a good thing for Overlord Soren if we win this game show on TV and in addition take home the cash prize." However, some other servants said, "Who cares about doing good things about Overlord Soren" and flew into a rage. Sand was the only one willing to listen to my good intentions, adn we studied together to be more prepared.

Okay, so until the last question, things were going great. I was winning, and became very elated. If we won, we could, as I said earlier:

Quote from: Skybladedo a good thing for Overlord Soren...and in addition take home the cash prize

I was so happy that during a break in the show I walked up to and politely asked the game host (this was before he was tied up, my sympathy goes out to him) if there was any safe, legal, and proper way I could express my enthusiasm. Because why not? Life is meant to be enjoyed. He responded that the video cables were specially made to be durable and support the weight of any human. "Considering  that people three times your weight have swung on 'em and never broke a single cable, it'll be perfectly fine, young un!" he told me, "You enjoy yourself and don't worry about a thing. It'll be fine." I thanked him and did as he told me.

Anyway, the break was ending. I realized that I should stop having fun and get back to business. Suddenly, I saw Sam trying to bit Sand's throat out. I knocked him off him. Otherwise, Sam would have killed Sand.

By now, the scene was filled with chaos. I got off the cables and tried to get everyone to calm down. I went to the intercom and announced, "Everyone! Please calm down and stop goofing off! Servants of Overlord Soren, what are you doing? Please, we must do the right thing and not get destructive like this! We need to get back to the game show as commanded!" Nobody listened except Sand, of course. I tried for another ten minutes to get everyone to stop ruining the whole event, but still other kept me from fixing the situation.

For some reason, there were a bunch of sharks eating the stage. I tried to stop them to the best of ability but got bitten very badly. I would have died with blood loss if Sand hadn't led me to Izeroth's downstage pillow fort, which contained a handy first-aid kit. Sand healed me. I soon was knocked out, but nevertheless, I owe Sand my life.

I woke up and saw that the disaster had ended. Izeroth, Sand, and I went up to see that everyone was asleep. We picked them up and carried them back, as Sand said."

Sir, Izzy is the one responsible for the shark problem. You see, after disappearing with the pillows, he returned with a slingshot and started firing rocks at everyone. There was a shark tank on the stage with several medium-sized sharks swimming around for decoration, and Izzy of course had to go and hit it. Needless to say, it shattered, and the sharks ended up on the stage. I had recovered from my panic attack at the sight of the pink bunny, and grabbed James, who was running around screaming about the sharks, telling him we had to evacuate everybody. I was so engrossed in trying to get the message through his thick skull that I didn't hear Skye telling everyone to shut up. Suddenly, a sickly sweet smell filled the air and I passed out. I knew nothing else until I woke up here.

 It would appear that  I caused the shark problem, but I have a perfectly logical explanation for my behavior.

Jukka, you see, was running around with a knife and randomly stabbing at people. Naturally, I tried to knock her out with my slingshot. Unfortunately, she kept hiding behind other people and using them as shields, and I was never able to hit her.

As I was shooting with my slingshot, I noticed that, somehow, Mhera had gotten stuck in the shark tank! Thinking quickly, I broke the tank so she could escape.

Sir, as Jukka said one of the requirements to being on the show was to bring something unexpected. I decided a bunny suit that my aunt (a.k.a. Ralphie's aunt; Ralphie is my twin bro, you see) owned would fit the bill. So the morning of the show I went to auntie's house and asked if I could borrow her bunny suit, and she said yes but only on the condition that I could catch her (she's a little off her rocker, sir, as Jukka noted). Now please understand that my aunt is extremely fit and had me running around for hours; by the time I caught her I was severely dehydrated but didn't have enough time left to drink anything before the show, and auntie started to insist on accompanying her beloved bunny suit. Too weak to resist and short on time besides, I agreed. We then walked to the studio with me carrying the bunny suit as auntie doesn't like hauling stuff around; this further exacerbated my poor condition. By the time we arrived I was hallucinating a Beatles concert and knew that my only chance for survival was to drink a lot immediately. Fruit punch was the only option around, and besides that I like it. I vaguely recall Jukka asking me what I was doing, and that's when I partially informed her of my hallucination and my love of the beverage I was drinking.

Also, while I was staggering around looking for something to drink Sam had seen the state I was in and offered to look after auntie and the bunny suit, an offer I gratefully accepted. Now I don't know what his definition of looking after somebody is, but it was soon after she came under Sam's custody that auntie went rogue.

After drinking my fill, I found some Mars centipedes backstage and remembered that LT had mentioned his involvement in clinical trials regarding the health benefits of the creatures; he had also informed us that he would be missing his daily treatment of the bugs because of the show and that would essentially nullify his involvement in the study. He had been so bummed about this that when I saw some backstage I just knew I had to help him (and science!) out by dumping them on his head as he had explained was the proper method of dosage. Understandably this startled him, but I did it for the greater good, sir.

As for the shark tank, despite the punch I was still a bit overheated from my earlier exertions. Jumping into the water further cooled me off, but unfortunately James locked me in there for some reason. After awhile Izeroth came and rescued me.

Sir, I was stabbing (no, the correct word would be jabbing) a plastic knife in the general direction of your other servants in order to test their reflexes. The reason for this was because just before the host had been stuck in a pink bunny suit by Ralphie and Mhera's deranged aunt, the last game show challenge/question he had given was "find a creative way to test an invertebrate's reflexes". Due to my panic attack, however, I had momentarily forgotten the definition of "invertebrate" and thought it meant a creature WITH a spine. Seeing a bunch of creatures with spines standing around, I decided to test their reflexes, so I grabbed the nearest object (which happened to be a small plastic knife) and started jabbing it at everyone.

Suddenly Izzy appeared onstage and started shooting rocks randomly (or so I thought at the time). I ducked behind available objects, which sometimes happened to be my fellow contestants.

I remain, as always, your humble servant.

OOC: I will post soon, maybe tomorrow. (I just don't want to get eliminated for inactivity).

James had remained silent up to this point. As the other servants quieted down, though, he finally began to speak.

"As usual, these people insist on leaving out all of the facts relevant to defending my character. I suppose I will have to rectify that situation."

"What nobody bothered to inform your Majesty of is that I have spent the last ten years of my life honing my skills for this game show. I've always been a huge fan of "Name that Invertebrate", and it has been my lifelong dream to appear and do well on the show. I've read every book on invertebrates ever published, and memorized their contents. I would have aced it, but for the efforts of one of your servants."

"As previously mentioned, we had a party on the transport. Sam had wanted to celebrate our upcoming appearance on a show, and most everyone agreed. I knew that hitting the books again would just make me nervous, and that I'd done everything possible to prepare for my appearance, so I joined in. This was apparently shocking to the others, as Sam said, "What on earth are you doing goofing off instead of studying for the show?" I told him about my extensive knowledge of invertebrates. He said, "Oh, I see. Good thing for you that's what the show is about, huh?" and cackled maniacally."

"We got to the site of the show. As soon as we had finished shaking hands with the host, Sam took the host aside and started talking to him. I didn't catch much of what he said, but I think I heard the words "must change" and "for your own good". I thought this was a little strange, but didn't perceive its true meaning until the show started and the host announced that this would be the "Special Edition, Mostly Non-Invertebrate" version of the show. In spite of my acing every invertebrate-related question that was asked, I was quickly eliminated after being stumped on a bizarre question about Justin Beaver's discography. This series of events is what let to my emotions being compromised -- ten years of my life wasted, down the drain, everything ruined, all because of Sam."

"As far as the sharks, I knew from watching the show that they were extremely dangerous flying sharks, as ravenous as pirahnas, and that they would eat anything they could fix their beady eyes on. When I saw that the tank had been left open, I closed and locked it, for the safety of everyone there. I didn't know that Mhera was in the tank, but if I did I would have done the same. As distraught as I would have been for one of ours to be killed in such a fashion, it's better to lose one of us than all of us. When the sharks were freed from their confines, I was attempting to scream to everyone about the threat, that the sharks could fly, but due to the noise very few people could hear me clearly. I thought that Sky did, but then she tried to tell everyone to calm down and get back to the show, as though nothing was happening, so I guess she didn't hear a word I said. Either that, or else she was okay with everyone being eaten by sharks."

"This is a very strange story, I know, but there's one thing all these events have in common: none of what went wrong is in any way my fault."

"Sir, I told everyone to calm down and stop goofing off. I had no idea that the sharks were so dangerous, trust me. I was unable to hear James above the pandemonium in the auditorium. I was just trying to stop the frenzy and danger to the best of my ability and go on with the show if possible. My apologies, Overlord." Sky lowered her head.

Soren slumped in his chair, tired of the excuses.
"Silence! Speaking of which....Silent Sam, you have chosen not to speak. And yet you seemed to have done the most damage. For this there is no mercy."
Sam disappeared, and reappeared on the screen before the servants. He was strapped to a chair, with his eyelids open. All of the sudden, a TV in front of him turned on, and started playing Hallmark love movies. He started twitching from the terrible acting, but had to sit speechless at the TV.
"He will forever watch that movie. It will always give me comfort he can be prepared for a household accident by watching those commercials about Life Alert. Never can be too careful."
Soren turned to his remaining servants.
"Alright, I've about had it with you. Now one of you will he eliminated for making wrong decisions. And I expect you all to perform much better.
"For you PE next assignment, I'm sending you back in time, to a strange period known as the 1980s. I have a list of things you need to get for me, and then return to the 7/11 on 12th Ave., New York to return."
"You will get the original first edition tape of Star Wars: Return of the Jedi. Then, you will get a original Macintosh computer. Finally, I want to original vinyl record of "In the Air Tonight" by Phil Collins. Retrieve these things, and you will have earned some of my trust back.

9 Days Later...

"Not only did you fail in bringing me the movie, computer and record, but you also caused a movie store to implode! They don't have those anymore!
Sage, what were you doing with a mullet haircut and running around screaming something unicorns?
Jukka, you attacked an old lady with a Walkman!
Mhera, why did you slap Michael J. Fox? WHAT DID ALEX KEATON EVER DO TO YOU?!
Sky, what made you want to coat everyone in Michael Jackson's hair oil?!
Sand, who said it was ok to just steal every Joe Montana jersey, and wrap up people to poles with them?
James, why did you dress up like Tubbs from Miami Vice and start talking Jamaican?!

EXPLAIN!

"As soon as we went back in time, we found an advertisement for "Joe's Video and Electronics Cave", which listed all of the items that you requested as being in stock. The other servants felt that since one place had all the items you requested, they could spend some of the time you allotted us goofing off and seeing what things were like in the 80s. I insisted that your time is important, and that you wanted us back as quickly as possible. Needless to say, nobody listened to me."

"Sage, who for some reason had been entrusted with our money, said that the most important thing that we could do with our time was to get our hair done in those "rad 80s styles", and forced us to see a hairdresser for that purpose. He said that if we didn't, he would throw all that money down the sewer drain, and blame it on us. I have no idea what got into him. Anyway, we went to the aptly named 'High Rollers' hairdresser, a business known for servicing all of the leading stars. Security was tight, but Sage slipped the guards a few thousand dollars, and they let us in. Michael Jackson, Michael J. Fox, and other famous celebrities were all there to have their hair done. The staff seemed to be efficient, and I hoped we could get it done in a reasonable time without any fuss. Alas, it was not to be."

"One of the spots opened up, and the hairdresser said "Next!". Mhera said "First come, first serve!" and hopped up into the chair. Mr. Fox said, "Excuse me, ma'am, but that's my seat; I reserved it in advance." Mhera screamed "I'm not a ma'am, and finders keepers losers weepers!", and slapped him. Mr. Fox's bodyguard, an old lady listening to tunes on her Walkman (I think she was his aunt), went up to intervene. She had just pulled Mhera out of the seat by the ears when Jukka ran in and tackled her. The ensuing fight was not a pretty sight, but at the end of it, Mhera, Jukka and Sand had all gotten kicked out."

"In the meantime, Sky was watching the television, which happened to be playing Miami Vice. She was loudly talking to the characters onscreen, trying to give them advice. This was bothering the other customers, so with the permission of the owner, I shut the television off. Sky started her hysterical crying thing again, saying that she 'wuvs Tubbsies'. I was able to get her to calm down, saying, "Would it help if I acted as him, dear?" She nodded in between her tears, so I did it, for the sake of her deteriorating sanity. However, once I had done this, she quickly got bored of my very convincing imitation, went over to the hairdressers, and said, "My mommy taught me about being a hairdresser. I wanna help. Can I help?" The hairdressers actually agreed (I guess they were late for their lunch break), and let Sky take over doing hair for them. She took Michael Jackson's bottle of hair oil and started using it on everyone's hair. I guess she thought the oil was owned by the store. Needless to say he wasn't happy when he found out that she used his entire bottle, and we all got kicked out of the hairdressers."

"After that fiasco, I was finally able to talk the others into going to the store for your items. When we got there, though, the owner, Joe, said that he was sold out, but that he would get more soon. Sand said, in a dark tone, "I hope so, for your sake. The Emperor is not as forgiving as I am. Don't make me destroy you." So we left, and came back two days later. When we did, Joe said he had just sold out of his stock again! Sand was furious and wanted to get revenge on Joe, so he stole Joe's Joe Montana jersey collection and tied up Joe and every customer to the poles holding up the building. Then he said that it was time we return to you, to explain the situation, so you could "strike back" against Joe. If I have omitted any details, I'm sure these others will fill them in, your Majesty."

"My actions were those of a loyal worker too you sire. And I will explain everything in full.

We make it too the hair dresser and I remember it was named something funny. Well inside the hair dresser they had this amazing set of glass figurines for a chess set so me and Jukka played a few rounds of chess while everyone else waited in line to get their hair done.

Well Sky was watching us play our fifth round when we heard a disturbance and turn around to see Mhera fighting with someone. Well we couldn't let her fight on her own and not knowing the scenario for why she was fighting. We decided to charge right in. In the end we got swarmed by the guards and kicked out while the others just sat around laughing and trying to give us advice.

Well I was angry when Mhera told me why she was fighting so I stalked off and waited for the others too get done.

We finally made it too the store and when we learned that Joe didn't have what we wanted I was angry. I suggested later too James that we should just find another place to get the items but he said that we should go back because I had threatened the owner and he should provide or else.

Well Joe didn't have anything again so I took his Jersey collection and tied him and his customers up. I told him he had wasted our time and now he would pay for it. I threatened too blow up the store if he didn't acquire what we wanted immediately. He started blubbering about something but then Mhera who must have taken me seriously about blowing up the store blew it up and we nearly didn't make it out alive. I was livid because I hadn't wanted to actually blow up the store. I had just been making a bluff. Which I remember telling them and I quote myself.

"Guys I'm going to make a bluff about blowing up the store if he doesn't have what we want, Don't actually blow up the store!"

Well she was trying to play it off but then we had to leave so everyone went too the correct location (all of us were badly burned) and we got transported back here. And that sire is what happened.

Ahem hem.

"What got into me" was actually Mhera. She, after drinking an invisibility botion, had a gun to my head. The gun wasn't inviisible, but the others obviously didn't notice. Actually, I think everyone bit James was onto it. I couldn't tell, for obvious reasons.

Izeroth was nowhere to be seen. As far as I know, he was in the theatre, watching '80's movies!

OOC: James, you made me sound like I'm six. That's hilarious ;D

IC: Sky spoke up. "Sir Soren, I have an explanation for you. I honestly agreed with James and wanted to do as he suggested. I was about to say, "You all, that may sound like a good idea, but we really should listen to James and just get the items we need for Soren. We can't fail again." However, everybody else cut me off after the word "idea". And when I tried to speak, a few other servants pushed me onto the ground and trampled me, obviously inhibiting me. That's why James must have thought that I wanted to goof off. I didn't.

After I was done watching Sand and Jukka play chess and helped with the fight (with good intentions, of course), I noticed the TV flashing "ATTENTION. IMPORTANT ALERT! IMPORTANT ALERT!" Of course, I turned to look. “We have very important and urgent news here on Miami Vice! I know this sounds weird, but you must trust us! If you do, it will be life-saviiiiiiiiing!” I was shocked and immediately sat down to watch. Because saving people’s lives? That is just great.

Anyway, there is something you need to know about me. Since my birth, I have suffered from short-term memory loss. It is unfortunate, but thankfully my doctor suggested a way that would help me fight it. If I interact with what I want to remember, it usually stays in my head better. I asked a hairdresser if I could talk to the characters onstage saying the very important news, because otherwise it would near impossible for me to remember these life-saving memos, and he said, “Yes, you can do that” so I did. He gave me permission.

Now, why were the customers getting mad? I tried to turn the volume loud so everybody could hear the news that would save their lives. I said, “You must listen to this!” But a few other servants for some reason told them that I was trying to show them a horrible thing on TV. In reality, what I was trying to show them was not horrible whatsoever. It truly was news that could and would save their lives if they listened and knew about it. Thanks to the words of these servants, they got annoyed.

Anyway, with dealing with the customers I struggled to remember what had appeared on Miami Vice that was so important. I asked James to reenact it for me so I could remember. He did so on point, and the only reason I left him was that I knew I had to take action immediately. You see, the news was that everybody in a hairdresser’s store needed to have Michael Jackson oil thrown on their hair immediately. Invisible viruses or whatever had invaded hairdresser’s stores, and they would kill these people if the antidote wasn’t applied within a matter of minutes. Michal Jackson hair oil was the one and only antidote that would save everyone. So I used the hair oil on everyone, saving everybody’s lives, including the customers, workers, and servants. Sir, it is thanks to me that we are all even alive right now.

Anyway, I told a hairdresser that I had to use the whole bottle of oil (otherwise we wouldn’t have enough to save everyone’s life), but he said (very rudely, may I add), “I don’t care about everyone’s lives. As long as I get paid, I’m happy. Now get out of my flippin’ face and take this BLT with you!” He then threw a random BLT at my face (I don't know why. Maybe he likes BLTs). I shook it off and tried to explain, but thanks to his own selfishness and ignorance, he kicked me out.

I was trying to explain to everyone in the store that what I was seeing on TV and doing with the hair oil was to save our lives, but nobody was listening to my urgent and important news. They all ignored me. It makes me sad.

That is my story, sir. As you see, I was just trying to save everyone’s life and be a good servant. That is always what I ever wanted to do.”

Sky bowed and concluded her speech.

OOC: I'll try and post tomorrow.

Sir, I actually wasn't listening to James when he pointed out the add for the store because the add was stuck on the 138th page of an electronics magazine. When we first arrived James had picked up the magazine and started reading through the whole thing from the very beginning and would stop every few pages and say something like, "Guys, we should visit [such-and-such arcade/store/super market] and get [such-and-such electronic thingy]!" I stopped listening after about 76 pages of this and instead focused on the mission, which was trying to find a place that we could get what you wanted. I did want to go to the barbershop, but not to goof off. Let me explain.

Everyone knows that a good place to look for miscellaneous adds as well as get a good sample of people to interview about local spots is a barbershop. By going to "High Rollers", which was right across the street, we would be able to find a bunch of knowledgable locals and inquire about good places to find what you asked for. Everyone but James, who was rambling about that add, and Sage agreed to go (though unbeknownst to me they wanted to go to mess around). At this point I began to notice I was turning invisible. Someone must have slipped an invisible botion into my breakfast, sir, and I suspect it was Sage because he noticed me going clear and cackled, "So I see my invisible botion is taking effect! Mahaha! Here's hoping the your death that it will cause is slow and painful!" At his final sentence I whipped out a gun and pointed it at him, asking him for the botion's antidote. He gave it to me, I drank it, and went back to being visible and not about to die. I guess Sage mistook my actions for trying to get him to go to the shop when in reality I was trying to keep him from murdering me. The others seemed oblivious even though Sage was shouting something about throwing away your money. After that little episode we went to the barber shop.

Sir, you know how it's bad manners to walk into a business, use some of its services, and then not pay? If we went into the barber shop and didn't get haircuts that's what would've happened. Also, I was starting to look a little shaggy. Not wanting bad manners and bad looks to tarnish your name, I decided to clean up a bit. In the interest of getting in and out as soon as possible (because as James said, your time is valuable) I took the first available seat. I had no idea that the shop had reservations as there were nothing saying that this was the case and since the barber had called "Next!" without saying names I figured whoever was in line next was good to go. Mr. Fox only walked in after I was seated.

At this point I must mention Mr. Fox looks exactly like my afore mentioned twin brother, Ralphie, who is always trying to steal my place in lines and impertinently calls me "ma'am". Whenever he does this I make it a point to slap him upside the head so he'll learn some respect. When Mr. Fox said what he did it was so reminiscent of Ralphie that I automatically kicked into my sister response. Immediately afterwards I realized what I had done and started to apologize but his bodyguard aunt cut me off and started beating me, forcing me into using self defense. The fight was actually settling down and I was beginning to explain what had happened to a very understanding Mr. Fox when Sand and Jukka stormed over and started the battle anew, getting us kicked out.

Sand was still livid when we got to Joe's store. After he made his threat about the bombs he started to set up the explosives contrary to his claims that it was all just a bluff. I guess that he was just making his threat as convincing as possible, and it sure fooled me. I decided to attempt to defuse the bombs and was doing so when Sage walked up and pushed me into the detonator, causing the bombs to go off. I was never trying to blow up the store, sir, as you see I was doing quite the opposite.

Mhera didn't mention that I was throwing  your money into the lottery machine. Why? Because I am amazing  at the lottery! I was just about to take the 10,000 dollar ticket out of the machine when Izeroth jumps in front of me, shouting "No! We have to waste as much money as possible!" I allso slipped the invisibility potion into Mhera's cereal because Sky (who, BTW, was also invisible) was threatening to lop Izeroth's head off! I favored Izeroth and did whata Sky wanted.

Sir, Sand and I attacked the old lady with the Walkman because she was attacking friend Mhera. Up until that point, I had basically been following the group around, making a few suggestions here and there for how best to accomplish our mission, but besides that, trying not to make too much trouble. Sand and I were playing a relaxing game of chess in the barbershop when suddenly a commotion broke out. I immediately rushed over to save Mhera.

Also, when we were in the video store, I told Mhera at least twice what Sand had already told her - that he was just bluffing about blowing it up. However, she grinned annoyingly and said, "Oh, really?" I insisted that it was so, but she ignored me. At this point, I somewhat regretted saving her from the old lady.

OOC: Will post in a moment. I'll have fun with this ;D

IC: "Sir, I did not threaten to lop Izeroth's head off for no good reason.

All of us in this group know that Izeroth, while he is serving you, is also a word-class magician. I became fascinated with his magic because 1) It may come handy in future missions for you, Sir Soren, 2) This was good magic, and not anything bad, and 3) It's downright cool. Life is meant be enjoyed, and I intend to experience breathtaking things as long as they are not wrong in any way.

Izeroth has this one trick in which he can grow his head back after somebody chops it off. I don't know how. Like I said, he's an amazing magician. Anyway, he showed me the trick , but after a while I wanted to learn another one. Turns out he is also a master at invisibility potions. Is there anything this guy cannot do?

Fascinated and impressed by Izeroth’s skills, I had him show off his talent to all the other servants. They clapped and agreed with me that was really good. I then suggested that we learn how to be invisible by taking the invisibility potion and getting used to what being invisible is like: it could indeed be very useful in future missions for you. All the others agreed.

I would have asked Mhera to put the potion in her own cereal or done it myself, but we are both allergic to it. So I asked Sage to do it for me, since he seems a trusty servant and good friend. I made it very clear that I wanted him to do it on a morning that we were not doing a mission for you, so it wouldn’t mess up our working. I wanted us to practice when we weren’t doing a real task. So as for why Sage put the potion in Mhera’s breakfast the morning of our mission, don’t look at me because I don’t know. I told him not to, though. And even though I was invisible, he knew it was me by my distinct and cool voice.

Also, he must have thought I was threatening Izeroth because I said, “Sage, if we don’t practice being invisible, our next option would be doing the chopping off Izeroth’s head thing.” Of course, I didn’t mean actually kill him. I meant that if we didn’t practice being invisible, the next magic skill was Izeroth’s head-growing ability.

Also, please try to keep in mind what I said before. I saved our lives and the lives of the others in the shop...

I hope you understand, sir.”

Sir, I can't help it if Jukka thought my wry grin was annoying. That's her problem. I saw Sand setting up the explosives and even though both he and Jukka reassured me that it was a bluff it sure didn't look like it. That's why I replied with irony twice and then ignored Jukka from there on. I was paying attention to defusing the explosives. The very fact that the bombs actually went off when Sage pushed me into the detonator goes to show that my worries regarding how far this bluff was taken were warranted.

OOC: Will do

Quite amusingly, Sagetip seems to think I was in favor of wasting as much money as possible. I knew, you see, that the lottery machine owners secretly enslave anyone who wins the 10,000 dollar ticket. (Don't ask me why or how; they just do) Anyway, when Sagetip was about to win it, I jumped in front of the machine and came up with an excuse in an attempt to stop him from falling into the trap.

((ya might want to change in from 10,00 to 10,000))

Soren raised his hand, signaling silence.
"I am appalled that this could happen. And one of you holds most of the blame.
Sagetip the Hare, you not only you not only interfered with the mission by being insistent about your hair, but also disrupted actions by Mhera, Izeroth and Skyblade. I have little choice but to supply the appropriate punishment."
Sagwtip was all of the sudden hoisted from the platform and launched into space. He monitor that showed the previous unreliable servents lit up again, apshowing the mortified Sage. He was being thrown between two giant space alien babies, who were apparently having fun tossing and sucking on his head.
"Ah yes, the Galordian twins will like their new toy."
"As for you other servents, I have a exciting mission for you, one that you will need to perform exemplary.
"You will be transported to the 5 dimension of relative space, where you will get for me a ship, the only Mandalorian scout ship left in existence. Once you acquire it, return to the planet that you arrived from, and you will return to out diminsion."

Two weeks later....

"What does it take to get good servents? You not only lost my ship somewhere in deep space, but wrecked a small planitoid and somehow started a galactic war between the Kree and the Breen. And I don't even want to know about how you managed to get into a race with 462 baby robots on little ships!"

"We arrived without incident and secured the powerful Mandalorian scout vessel. As an experienced pilot, I felt it would be fitting for me to take the controls of the ship back home. Mhera, however, said that she should fly, explaining her feelings in a song she titled "Mhera Knows Best". Everyone else was actually convinced by this song, and insisted that Mhera fly. I knew it would result in disaster, but after Izeroth threatened me at gunpoint, I had no choice but to accept this."

"No thanks to Mhera's flying skills, we flew into Kree space, violating their neutral zone. Izeroth said, "It's okay, I set up a Breen transponder on our ship, so they won't think it's us". Mhera hung around Kree space long enough to get intercepted by their Purification Patrol. In spite of our ship's vastly superior armament and protection, we were nearly destroyed in a space battle, no thanks to Izeroth repeatedly firing our Nova Cannon at a planetoid instead of Kree warships. Mhera eventually caught on that we were losing (I think the "Hull condition critical" warning with the hundred sirens did it), and told Izeroth to install a Kree transponder. Then she flew right into Breen space, with the entire Kree fleet following us, and blew up Breen Central Command with one burst from our graviton disintegrator. This is what started the galactic war. It's all Mhera and Izeroth's fault."

"Anyway, after this incident, we crash landed near Optimus Beta. Our ship was badly damaged, and we needed repairs to make it home. The robot civilization that was nearby said that we were unworthy of their help. Sandpaw told us, "These robots are our Overlord's allies, and would do anything for him, but we can't tell them that we're his servants." Mhera agreed, and said that we should bet everything we had on the Little Robot Race, a biannual event they have there, to win ship repairs. I said that you would be greatly displeased with us risking your prize in such a way, but Sky squealed something about how the tiny robots were "so cute", and asked if we could "pwease pwease pwease do the race", and everybody else agreed to that.

The Little Robot Race happened to be exactly like Sky's favorite video game, but she refused to race on our behalf. She said, "I wanna watch the cute robots!". So, Sandpaw, who knows nothing about driving or flying anything, volunteered. Everybody else was okay with that, and he crammed into one of the tiny robot racers for their race. Needless to say, he quickly fell behind, and was disqualified before the first lap was over. When the robots came to possess your scout, though, it blasted off and flew off into deep space! Izeroth said, "I thought Sand would lose the race, so I programmed the ship to fly away."

The robots were very angry at us, and were about to put us all in suspended animation. Jukka desperately said, "But we're the Overlord's servants!" The robots' disposition immediately changed. They said, "Why didn't you tell us this before? We would do anything for him." I asked them to help us find the scout that Izeroth lost, but they searched for over a week and never found it. They said that Izeroth's poor course plotting probably caused it to fall into a wormhole. So, with the mission failed, we asked them if they wouldn't mind bringing us back here, so we could at least explain what happened to your Majesty."

"And that's the story. I'm very sorry that your Majesty lost this valuable ship. I did everything I could, but your other servants were too determined to make the mission fail."

After James had finished his rather long and detailed story Sandpaw raised one of his hands offering to go next.

"Sire I just want to say that I was following orders the whole time. After the fiasco with the explosives James and Izeroth said  should be only trusted with the most basic tasks. There was two of them and only one of me so I didn't argue the point and stayed in the background most of the time.

Well during the battle me and Sky were supposed too maintain the engine room and keep the thing running. Sky noticed the thing was smoking she hit every alarm light we had to try and alert the Pilots and gunners that we were damaged pretty bad. That didn't work so I hit the super loud and annoying alarm which did the trick.

Well after we crashed I noticed the robots had your symbol on their chests and were most likely do you bidding. I also noticed them cooking servants they had captured over a roasting pit. That's why I told everyone too not tell them we were your servants.

Well when the race started I was volunteered to drive which I reluctantly accepted. Sky told me I would probably do great ad just too do my best.

Well when the race started I did remarkably well gaining third place when I noticed I was out of fuel. Izeroth had taken all my fuel to refill the Madalorian scout ship. Well I was disqualified and shamed.

When Mhera told them we were Your Servants they became much more helpful. Well all the others blamed me for losing the ship even though it was Izeroth who shot it into space. And that's my side of the story Sire.

Quote from: James Gryphon"I thought Sand would lose the race, so I programmed the ship to fly away."

OOC: I'm dying xD


IC: "Sir Soren, James and a few other allies appear to have a propensity for portraying me as a fool. Only SaLT has the consideration to recognize the good things that I do. I always strive to make our missions successful, do my best, and end up saving people's lives more often that I should need to. Please hear me out.

Firstly, Mhera's song and argument for why she should fly the vessel were actually very rational and convincing. She explained that she had taken an extensive course on how to pilot a space ship and therefore had the proper skill set to do this task. This is why I was among the people who agreed to allowing her to take us back.

What Sand said is correct. I did my best to get everyone notified of the situation at hand. Kudos to Sand for hitting the most efficient alarm.

Now, the Little Robot Race is something that requires a bit of an explanation. As it turns out, the leader of the robot civilization we had crashed near and I are very good, close friends from way back. His name is Robo the Blue Robot Once he saw me, Robo took me to a storage room for a private conversation. After we finished the usual "It's so nice to see you! We haven't talked in a long time" chit-chat, we got down to business.

"Robo," I said gravely, "Our vessel has crashed. We really need repairs. Otherwise, there is no other way we can get back to where we need to be. We really, really need them."

"I am aware," he replied, "My robot community has offered repairs, but you must bet all you have that you can win our Little Robot Race."

"Robo, we cannot do that. That is risky," I said.

"Wait, let me finished," Robo said, "Since I'm your friend, I'll make an exception. At first, I'll tell the other robots that you're going along with the bet just to appease them, but just in case you do lose, I'll order them that we are not at all to take your Mandalorian scout vessel. As leader, they will listen to me. Besides, if they're mad about my decision, I have a whole closet full of BLTs in the back. They love those. Trust me, Skyblade. It will be fine, as long as your friends don't mess anything up."

And I knew I could trust him, because he was my deepest friend. And he was a robot programmed to not be able to lie.

"Why all the privacy though, Robo?" I asked.

Robo sighed. He explained to me that already news had reached his community that the galactic war between the Kree and the Breen had broken out because of the actions of some people inside our ship. "This is the real reason why me and the other robots would rather not help you all. But since you're my friend, Skyblade, I'll do it for you. Just promise me one, okay two, things."

"What?" I prompted.

"Firstly, I don't really trust your friends, to be honest, after what I heard about them starting a, you know, galactic war. Do by any chance they...dislike you?"

Memories replayed of James using my projects as firewood, Mhera calling me a poo-poo head, and Jukka trashing my room.

"Yeah...." said Robo, seeing my troubled face. "So please don't tell any of your friends about our conversation – I don't trust them. And the second promise, our regulations state that this race prohibits experts from participating. That means you. It would be very bad for you if you broke our law, so can you please refrain from being in the race? Make up an excuse about wanting to watch the robots because they're cute. Because they are pretty freaking adorable."

So, that is that. As for selecting Sand, well, I've seen the others play my video game of this race (Blue Robot Smash Race!), and they are – to put it bluntly – epic fails. Sand had to be better than them (everyone else always got dead last when they played), so I told him to do his best.

So after we lost, Robo was about to order his robots to not take the scout (carrying a bag full of BLTs, no doubt), when it just flew away by itself.

My apologies, sir."

 What the others didn't explain was that, in the song, Mhera subtly implied that she was going to blow up the ship if she didn't get her way. (None of the others seemed to realize this; perhaps they can explain.) When Mhera started singing yet another verse, subtly implying that she would blow up the ship if she didn't get her way right now, I figured I had to do something. So, I held Gryphon at gunpoint and forced him to allow Mhera to fly the ship. He can thank me later.

As for the space battle, I think Gryphon largely misinterpreted the series of events. While I did fire the Nova cannon at a large planetoid, it was because the planetoid contained radioactive nanites (part of the Kree defense system) that would have been unleashed upon our ship had I not destroyed their colonies. I might add that, during the duration of the battle, James Gryphon was listening to wierd pop music and dissassembling our shield generators.

And, for the fuel/race fiasco, I asked Sandpaw if he needed any oil, but he told me the tank was already full, and that it would last him through the whole race. Therefore, I used the oil on the ship.

Now, listen closely here: I had read in the latest issue of Galactic Geographic that one must never let C-17 servant bots onboard a ship, for they have a vital manufacturing error that will cause them to go berserk and start killing everything. Naturally, seeing as Skyblade had earlier told me (in a very serious voice, I might add) that the robots were C-17 servant bots, I knew I had to get them as far away from a ship as possible, even if it resulted in us being stranded.

A couple seconds after the ship flew away, Skyblade informed me that the robots had actually been C-18 models the entire time, but she told me they were C-17s because she "thought it would be funny."

Sir, as Sky said I did indeed take a comprehensive spaceflight course and passed with excellent scores. However, no amount of piloting skills can make up for bad navigation, which is what James was providing me during the time I was behind the controls. After Izeroth convinced James it would be good to let me fly, James was sulky and upset. So Sky started talking about how James should be the navigator, and eventually we all agreed so he wouldn't be so down. He gave me the directions to the Kree airspace, and after we realized our destination, he took his own sweet time trying to figure out the way out, which was why we lingered so long in space. After we had waited long as possible for James to sort things out and we had sustained extensive damage, I asked Izeroth to install the transponder so that the Kree would think we were one of their own and not to be attacked. Right after the transponder was installed, James seemed to make up his mind about where to go. Focusing on flying out limping vessel out of danger, I didn't realize that James had navigated us straight into Breen space. Soon after that Jukka grabbed the controls from me; she seemed to be in a panic and crashed the ship.

Now as Sky said, I sang the song to convince the others I should fly. Again, I am an experienced pilot; not volunteering my top-of-the-line services would be irresponsible. As for the lyrics that Izeroth thought meant I was threatening to blow up the ship, I was just conveying in song the time one of my flight instructors had referred to my skills as "mind blowingly good." Apologies for any confusion that caused.

Also, I called Sky a poo-poo head after a bird relieved itself right above her head during a picnic. She asked me what she looked like afterwards and I told her; the term I used accurately described her state at the time and was not at all meant as an insult.

Finally, I was going off of Sky's recommendation when I said we should bet the ship in the race.

IC: Skyblade sighed. "Sir, there's a long backstory to what Izeroth said, and he has simply left out the details to make it look like it was all my fault.

Remember Opposite Day, which helped ruin our first mission? Well, if you also recall correctly, it was Izeroth who was the most enthusiastic about it. After getting tired of it for one day, he suddenly started jumping right back into it. I don't know why- it was not my idea and I kept discouraging him. He would do it to everyone at first, but eventually started doing it mostly to me. I don't know why; I've always been nice to him and never did a wrong thing to him or another ally.

At first, it wasn't that bad. He just said "bye" for "hi" and vice-versa. But things soon exacerbated. Because he kept saying the opposite thing, he kept tricking me on purpose. For one example, he told me to go into the basement when he meant to go to the attic, making me look for an important item for 5 hours.

I said, "Izeroth! Why do you keep doing this? It's not even Opposite Day anymore!"

"Because it's hilarious to make you fail in the things you do," said Izeroth. "And maybe I'll make you fail a mission for Soren, and you'll get all the blame." He then laughed manically.

I told him to stop saying the opposite of what he really meant, but he refused and kept doing it for literally EVERYTHING. The only time he actually says what he means is during a mission. I was very confused. Finally, I caught on, and Izeroth seemed to be annoyed when a day had passed and he hadn't fooled me.

The day after (which was not a day of a mission), we were reading (I was reading up on how to appease you by the way, Sir Soren) when he said, "Hey, Skyblade, there's something you should know."

"What?" I asked warily.

"C-17 robots will kill everyone, while C-18 robots are harmless. Remember that for future missions."

My mind clicked. He means the opposite, as usual. Which means...

C-17 robots are harmless.

C- 18 robots will kill.

Izeroth thinks he can fool me again! Haha, he thinks he can ruin future missions, but I won't let him. Joke's on him when he sees that I figure it out and save our next mission for Overlord Soren. So I lied about the robots, saying that they were C-18 instead of C-17 models. Izeroth told me they were harmless, but since he always said the opposite of what he meant, they were in reality killers. I was going to save the day!

As it turned out, however, Izeroth had actually NOT been saying the opposite. He explained this to me by saying (during a mission, so it was true): "Joke's on YOU, SKYBLADE! I knew you got the hang of my jokes, so for the first time ever, without telling you of course, I said what I actually meant! I programmed the ship to fly away to the Bottomless Pit of Despair, a place where we all know it can never, ever be retrieved! I managed to do this only because I had help from two other servants."

So, you see what happened. Izeroth tricked me. I really wanted to do what was best for the mission! My deepest apologies, sir!

Quote from: James GryphonSky started talking about how James should be the navigator,

Sir, my apologies. I had no idea James was a terrible navigator. Actually, he told me that he was great at navigating vessels.

Quote from: MheraFinally, I was going off of Sky's recommendation when I said we should bet the ship in the race.

Betting the ship was the only way we could get the repairs we needed to get the ship back to you (for some reason, Robo the Blue Robot didn't want it any other way). Besides, as I explained in my earlier explanation, we weren't really betting the ship anyway. It was either you win something or you get nothing, which is safe.


Also, another thing: Mhera and Jukka were vital in helping Izeroth program the ship to fly away to the Bottomless Pit of Despair, where it can't be found. I had nothing to do with this whatsoever; the first time I knew anything about it was after the mission, when James told me.

As usual, I was working only for the success of this mission."

 Skyblade seems to believe that my actions came out of pure malice, and not the helpful, servile attitude that all should know me for.

I was only doing the "opposite game" because some rather unscrupulous-looking bounty hunters (which James had let in, for some reason) were lounging about the spaceport. Therefore, I decided that, when we were around the bounty-hunters, it would be a good idea to speak opposite so they wouldn't figure out our plans. I repeatedly tried to get the others to understand this, but none of them would listen to me.

I said, "Because it's hilarious to make you fail in the things I do," because I was being watched by the bounty hunters, and didn't want to appear too nice in front of them.

Anyway, the bounty hunters never accompanied us when we went on missions, preferring to remain at the spaceport and drink some sort of glowing green substance. This meant that I didn't need to speak opposite when we were on missions. (Again, the others never seemed to realize the true purpose of my opposite-speak)

One day, the bounty hunters finally left the spaceport! I told Sky this, and said that I didn't need to speak in opposite talk anymore, but I don't think she even listened to me. When I said the thing about C-17 service bots, I was absolutely serious, and even said, "you know I'm not speaking in opposite anymore, right?"

Quote from: Skyblade on April 25, 2015, 02:32:04 PM
As it turned out, however, Izeroth had actually NOT been saying the opposite. He explained this to me by saying (during a mission, so it was true): "Joke's on YOU, SKYBLADE! I knew you got the hang of my jokes, so for the first time ever, without telling you of course, I said what I actually meant! I programmed the ship to fly away to the Bottomless Pit of Despair, a place where we all know it can never, ever be retrieved! I managed to do this only because I had help from two other servants."

As for those actions... you can blame a bottle of rancor juice. Gryphon gave it to me, you see, telling me it would make me stronger. I was apprehensive, but he urged me to drink it, even going so far as singing a song about the wonders of rancor juice. Finally, I drank it just to get him to stop annoying me.

What I didn't realize, though, is that rancor juice is a most powerful drink. A single drop can cause mental unbalance and hallucinating, so you can imagine what a whole bottle did to my brain. The rancor juice went into effect right after the ship had taken off, causing my outburst.

I don't remember who the two other servants were... perhaps they can explain.

As usual, others were responsible for the failure of this mission.

Sir, Jukka was the one doing the programming to get the ship to into the Bottomless Pit of Despair. I was just holding a flashlight for her. She'd asked me to do so as it was dark in the place where you do programming, and when I asked what she was doing she said she was reinforcing the ship's shields. This seemed like a good idea and I offered to help. I had no clue that she was actually harming the mission, Overlord.

Sir, Skye says I trashed her room at some point before the mission, but it's not quite true. I was merely looking for my annoying kitten, Bombadil, who had scurried into her room and was hiding somewhere. Her room was already a mess, and I was frantically throwing things around, trying to find Bombadil before he smothered to death under all the stuff. (I eventually did find him, still alive, but no thanks to Skye.)

Also, it isn't true that I deliberately sent the ship to the Bottomless Pit of Despair. I was indeed programming, and Mhera was indeed holding a flashlight for me, but I wasn't trying to wreck anything. You see, Izzy had said something to me about how the ship was secretly headed for the Bottomless Pit of Despair (and not to tell anyone else), so as I am a very good flight-programmer, I went to reprogram the ship and thus save all our lives. I asked Mhera to bring a flashlight and some extra batteries, since it might take a while, but she apparently thought the extra batteries weren't necessary and didn't bring them. (And when she asked what I was doing, I lied and told her I was reinforcing the ship's shields. I did this because Izzy had told me not to tell anyone, and I didn't want undue panic among the rest of my companions.)

So, when I was nearly finished programming, her flashlight suddenly died. I was really annoyed, but since I was almost completely done, I supposed I could do the last couple of programming things in the dark. I did. Just after that a red light flashed in the programming room and a robotic voice said, "Warning: Flight path set to the ABSOLUTELY BOTTOMLESS PIT OF DESPAIR. This flight path will take effect in exactly thirty minutes, and can only be manually overridden in the cockpit." I had heard of the ABSOLUTELY BOTTOMLESS PIT OF DESPAIR, and knew that besides the fact that it's always written in all caps, it's ten times worse than the Bottomless Pit of Despair. I was horrified and ran, waiting in the cockpit and looking at my watch constantly. As soon as the half hour had elapsed, I wrested the controls off Mhera, frantically trying to change the flight path. Unfortunately, Skye was jumping around screaming, "WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!" at the top of her lungs (she apparently has great faith in my flying skills), and James was trying to get in an escape pod that was designed for a five-year-old (he also seems to have great faith in my skills), and being distracted and frightened, I crashed.

I do apologize, but I don't think I can be held responsible for my actions. Izzy apparently programmed the ship to go to the BPoD (I'm just assuming that he did it, since he somehow knew about it. I'm not sure why he decided to tell me, but I suspect him of having a crush on me (which is weird, since I'm already married to Matt Damon)), and Mhera didn't bring extra batteries as I told her to.

EDIT: Fixed it so I wrest the controls off Mhera rather than James.

Skyblade looked slightly troubled, but she never lost her confidence in that the mission had not failed because of her.

"Sir, I never knew ANYTHING about the bounty hunters. They're in reality extremely stealthy, and everybody else wouldn't have known if it wasn't for that James, Mhera, and Jukka had told them. For some reason, they thought it would be funny and mean to leave me in the dark. Thus, I had absolutely no clue about the hunters and was left confused. They could at least have tried to tip me off about the situation.

Quote from: IzerothOne day, the bounty hunters finally left the spaceport! I told Sky this, and said that I didn't need to speak in opposite talk anymore, but I don't think she even listened to me. When I said the thing about C-17 service bots, I was absolutely serious, and even said, "you know I'm not speaking in opposite anymore, right?"

As I never heard of the bounty hunters, saw them, or sensed them with any other of my senses, I thought he was still saying the opposite. I know that may sound foolish of me, but just look from my perspective.

Every day for two weeks, Izeroth would say the opposite of what he meant at least twenty times a day and fool me quite a bit when I was caught unawares.

After this obsessive routine, I had a really hard time trusting him.

And another thing: Izeroth even told me way before he told me about the C-17 robots, during an earlier mission so I knew it was true, "Skyblade, I will stop speaking opposite only after two full months. Before that, I will always speak opposite. And if I ever change my mind, I'll tell Mhera to tell you, and you'll know."

Well, two months hadn't passed before the C-17 incident, and Mhera (or anyone else, for that matter) hadn't told me a thing about Izeroth changing his mind. Izeroth did not give me a clue or indication that he was going to stop other than saying he was being serious, and I couldn't trust that. After tricking me so many times day after day for weeks, I couldn't trust anything that came out of his mouth until the two months was over (and it was not). It's like the boy who cried wolf, but literally a thousand times worse.

As for what Jukka says, my room is a mess because everyday, James and Izeroth think it's funny to walk in and ruin the place. As for screaming that we're going to die, I was honestly panicking a bit. Also, because I was having trouble getting the alarms to work, I was resorting to yelling something to get everyone to realize what was going on and I thought that would do the trick. If it wasn't for me (and Sandpaw), nobody would have even found out about the perilous position of our vessel until it was too late. I even told Jukka that I was about to start screaming hysterically to alert everyone on the vessel, but despite that I gave her proper warning, she still got distracted for some reason.

Sir, please do seek to understand. What would you do, in our shoes?" With that, Sky once again stepped back.

"Insert righteous indignation for being unfairly accused of everything here," James said.

"Those bounty hunters were perfectly trustworthy people, who I hired out of my own savings to protect your spaceport. When we first got there, Izeroth used the comm panel to send out a message to everyone within fifty quadrillion light years: "HEY EVERYBODY, THERE'S FREE SHIPS AT THESE COORDINATES. WE DON'T WANT THEM. COME PICK THEM UP ANY TIME!" So, I hired the bounty hunters to defend us from people attempting to take Izeroth up on his offer. I said that they should be very stealthy, so as not to upset Sky. Sky, you see, has nightmares whenever she meets strangers, and when she has nightmares, she runs screaming into my room, begging me to "make the bad men go 'way". I did tell everyone else about this, though. Nobody but Izeroth seemed to have a problem with it."

"At this point, I was concerned about Izeroth's mental health. You see, I had found an empty bottle of rancor juice the other day, with "Izeroth's" marked on it. I knew the only cure for rancor juice was another bottle of rancor juice. He said that it tasted yucky and didn't want any more, so I sang the very catchy jingle from the ad to help convince him. He drank it and seemed to get better, up until we left to go on this mission, at least."

"As far as Mhera's alleged navigation skills, she said that when she took the spaceflight course, she got a F grade on everything. I never took that course, having gotten into piloting and navigating before it was introduced. Instead, I got into spaceflight with the "Notch" military-grade simulator, and ranked as Elite during the War. They considered that the highest grade of equivalency and gave me an automatic top-level space flight license. Rest assured that I know everything about this subject."

"The reason why, then, the navigation was bad is Sandpaw. Mhera and Izeroth had said, "Don't do anything unless Sandpaw tells you to do so". Izeroth took out his gun, which he's always waving around, and said, "If you disobey Sandpaw, I will shoot you with this gun". Granted, he's threatened to shoot a lot of times in the past, but knowing what a temper he has, I was concerned that he might actually do it. After all, he sure did a number on Sky's room the other day with it. So, against my better judgment, I cooperated. Every poor decision and every delay was Sand's fault."

"During the battle, Sand said, "I have no clue where to go. Go fix parts of the ship while I figure it out." With Izeroth's gun still pointed at me, I obeyed and went to disassemble the backup shield generators, which were broken when we found them. I fixed them very nicely, but it was a tedious job, so I listened to music to keep my mind occupied while I did this. Then, figuring we might need them soon, I started fixing everything that was wrong with the escape pods. I was trying to get into that escape pod to fix it too, but it was hard because whenever I pulled the "Open" lever, Sky would giggle and press a button to close the doors. I said, "Please don't do that; I need to get inside the escape pod to fix it, dear," but she just giggled more and said something about buttons being fun."

"Finally, as far as Sky's projects go, the reason why I used them as firewood is because they were firewood. Sky had taken some from our stockpile for some reason, and started shaving bits off with nail clippers. When we ran out of all the other firewood, I had to get more, so I went into her room (and I politely knocked, even though she always barges into my room without asking) and retrieved that which she had taken. I did say "We need more firewood; would you mind giving up yours, dear?", and she said yes, so I'm not sure why she's upset now."

Quote from: Your most loyal servantSir, as Sky said I did indeed take a comprehensive spaceflight course and passed with excellent scores.

Quote from: JamesAs far as Mhera's alleged navigation skills, she said that when she took the spaceflight course, she got a F grade on everything.

Overlord sir, this flight school did their grading on Opposite Day. While I did indeed receive an F it actually meant I got an A. In the interest of being totally honest, however, I mentioned my given grade instead of my actual grade to the other servants, clarifying that it was still an excellent score despite appearances. I'm not sure how James didn't catch that. Also, seeing how James thought he would be the better choice for pilot in this situation, he should have mentioned his commendable flying skills instead of merely sitting there insisting he should be behind the controls without giving reasons.

When Izeroth and I ordered James to do whatever LT said, I was just trying to humor Izeroth. The situation was potentially dangerous, and so I did best to keep the situation calm.

Sky said that Izeroth would tell me to her if he ever decided to stop his Opposite Months gig, and he did. However, because he'd been doing the exact opposite of everything he said he would for so long I figured his statement meant he was going to keep on being opposite for an additional two months and not to tell Sky about it. I apologize for the misunderstanding, but I hope you see that it was an honest mistake.

As for Mrs. Damon's batteries, she had given me AAAs and the flashlight used D cells. I decided to leave the useless power sources behind.

OOC: Mrs. Damon ;D

IC: Skyblade spoke.

"Sir, it is true that I have nightmares about strangers. However, first of all, that's not really my fault. As it turns out, I had a traumatic experience with strangers when I was a child. The nightmares were the result of that. In general, people can't really control if they have nightmares - it just happens.

Having explained that, I also want to add that I made it very clear to all the other servants (and it wasn't on Opposite Day, either) that if any stranger(s) was to come to please let me know. "It is imperative that you notify me of any strangers. I must be aware of the going-ons of this place or there may be consequences. Also, I have pills that I can take, which alleviate my nightmares, so do not worry about that." despite that I told everyone this, you can see, sir, that I was still left in the dark.

James said that I prevented him from entering the escape pods. That is very true. However, he left out an important detail. On the side of the escape pods, in bright red, bold letters where clearly both of us could see them were  the words, "TO ANYBODY, NO EXCEPTIONS: DO NOT ENTER ESCAPE PODS OR THEY WILL EXPLODE AND KILL YOU!!!!!" (With exactly that many exclamation points) I was just saying that buttons are fun as a side note (and it is true, admittedly). The real reason nobody could enter the escape pods was blatantly obvious, so I didn't think James had to be actually told. I have no idea why James was trying to enter the escape pods when it had that warning sticker. And also, I don't know whose cruel idea it was to replace our perfectly fine escape pods with those exploding ones, but I sure as heck wasn't involved in that.

To put it simply, Sir Soren, by preventing James from going into the escape pod I saved his life and the lives of anyone else who would have tried to get into those exploding machines.

Also, I should clarify the firewood thing too. All of the servants know that my project, while it was firewood, was also a gift for you, Overlord. I know that gift sounds lame, but I truly hoped you would like it. I am in reality a master carver of firewood and can build impressive sculptures. I borrowed wood from the stockpile because there was plenty of wood anyway and it wouldn’t be missed. I told everyone else about my project so they wouldn’t touch it.

However, one winter night, everyone was freezing to death because we had run out of firewood (not my fault, by the way). James asked if we could use my project, and I agreed only because it was the last wood in the house and to save everyone’s lives (which I seem to do very often). I was upset because I had worked so hard on that project and now I had to start all over again.

Oh, and the reason I enter James’ room “so rudely” is that there’s actually a sign on his bedroom door that says, “Please barge in my room without asking”. I don’t know why but ok.

Those are some more clarifications, sir. I still am and always will be your loyal servant."

 As for my message about free ships, that was for the greater good. Gryphon, you see, was hoarding all these old, rusting ships, and there was barely enough room in the spaceport for our own ship. I thought it would be a good idea to get some of those old ships off our hands. It was perfectly safe-- I even had a communication device that I could use to reach the Galactic Police at any time. For some reason, Gryphon got really paranoid, and told people to stay away from his "preciouses".  

As for the rancor juice, that was not my bottle. Someone must've written the word "Izeroth" on it to frame me. When I said I don't want any more, I was referring to a childhood incident.

I was going to let Gryphon fly the ship, but then he stated that, if he was not allowed to fly, he would shoot everyone. Naturally, being a little freaked out, I pulled out my gun and forced him to let Sandpaw (who had told me he was completely qualified) to fly the ship.

And one more thing: I told Jukka I that the ship was headed for the BPD because I was under the influence of the rancor juice. Can I really be blamed for anything I did while that was taking effect?

OOC: I was in the engine room the whole time with sky ;)


BIC: In light of this current blame laid upon me it is very hard to navigate when your forced to stay in the engine room without any equipment. Izeroth had gotten it into his head I was a skill navigator, (Which I am)  Well he thought I was So skilled I could navigate from a windowless room with no mechanical aid. After a while of giving James random orders so Izeroth wouldn't shoot him I told him I had no clue where to go and he was on his own.

Well surprisingly enough James got us out of there quite well but unfortunately due to the damaged engine Jukka crashed the ship anyway. The only reason I was telling James what to do was because I didn't want Izeroth too shoot him.

OOC: If I messed anything up just holler at me and I'll fix it K.

 OOC: The reason I was pointing a gun at James was because he threatened to shoot everyone.

"This claim about me hoarding useless old ships is a gross misrepresentation of reality. They were, in fact, part of your Majesty's own prized ship collection. The reason why they were in such poor shape can be directly blamed on Sandpaw. He had somehow acquired a rare time-forwarding ray, and gave it to Sky to play with, saying, "Shoot it at something to see what things will look like when they're old". He didn't tell her that it actually made those things old, and she didn't seem to notice. Then Izeroth came in. He smiled to see the state the ships were in, and said, "We need to get rid of these junky old ships. I'll advertise." Izeroth hasn't seemed too concerned with obeying you or taking care of your property in the past (he seemed positively gleeful about marking up your walls with his gun), so I said that they were mine and that I needed my preciouses, in the hopes that this would keep him at bay. Obviously, that didn't work."

"On the allegedly dangerous escape pods, and, coincidentally, my bedroom door, Sandpaw went around the ship making signs and stickers with a magic marker, and posting them up onto everything. I asked him to stop, but he refused, and whenever I took his signs down, he would just put more up in their place. The escape pods were fine, or rather, they would have been if they weren't malfunctioning. As I mentioned, I had already fixed several of them before Sky kept me from working on the five-year-old-sized one."

"About flying the ship... what I said was that our odds of success were so much decreased by me not being at the helm that I might as well save everyone the trouble and shoot them now. I didn't think that anyone would take me absolutely literally, and indeed, most of them didn't. I might have figured that Izeroth would think that way, though. I guess he's so used to threatening people with guns that he assumes anyone else saying it must be serious too."

 Most esteemed Overlord, whar Gryphon said is true: Sandpaw did infact shoot your prized ships with a time-forwarding ray. However, it should be noted that Gryphon witnessed the entire process, and didn't lift a finger to stop your ships from being damaged. When I came in and asked what was going on, Sandpaw told me the ships were just junk he'd found at the annual intergalactic auction.

And as for the whole marking-the-walls-with-my-gun incident... I was shooting an imaginary finger gun. Perhaps Gryphon has lost the ability to tell real guns from imaginary ones?

OOC: This is hard. Which makes it even more fun! ;D I'm gonna get a post here later.

IC:

Skyblade stepped forward, seizing an opportunity to speak.

"Sir, I had no idea that the time-something ray really did make things old. Sand told me to shoot the ships with it. I didn't know why, but he seemed to be freaking out and very urgent. He hastily said, "Don't ask; just do it, Skyblade! Trust me!" So I trusted him and did what he said.

I also had no idea they were part of your ship collection. In fact, there was a sign next to them that said, "THESE ARE ALL COMPLETELY USELESS SHIPS. YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT TO THEM". There was no indication whatsoever that they were important ships. I was left in the dark, once again.

I also need to clarify that I had no idea that the signs on the escape vessels and James' room, or anywhere else for that matter, were jokes. Due to this, I really thought they were serious.

Sir, please consider this from my perspective. If you saw a friend about to enter an escape pod that had a huge, bold red warning label on the side that said, "WILL EXPLODE AND KILL WHOEVER GOES IN THIS" and you had no idea it was a joke, would you just let your friend walk inside? No, of course not. That would be like allowing your friend to die. That's why I stopped James from going inside. I couldn't just let him be in danger, as I believed. I truly acted with the intention of saving his life and the lives of everybody else on the vessel, increasing the chances for success on the mission. It was not evident whatsoever that the signs weren't real, and nobody told me."

Sky lowered her head, staring at her feet. She lifted her head again to say, "Please accept my apologies, Overlord, for the confusion.

Oh, and I thought that sign on James' bedroom door was a little weird. But then I figured, James is the type of person who would do strange and unexpected things."

OOC: No offense meant, James! Actually, I consider that a compliment :D

IC : "And I'm sure Sand, being the good servant he is, has a good reason for everything he did.

The ships were James fault, he had originally given me the device that made things old. He insisted that it only made things look old. He then shot my cat to prove the power of the device. Then he yelled in a sing song voice.

"Hehehehehe I am king of the world!" Then he ran off yelling something about preciouses. I thought he had gone deranged but then I realized my poor cat had turned into dust. I was furious and chased after him. But then Mhera ran into me with a massive pile of cardboard signs. She began crying that they needed to be put up all over the ship so she could find the bathroom better. She started crying up a storm so I handed Sky the device warning her it made things look old. And then I told her what James did to my cat.

So she proceeded too shoot all the ships that he kept calling his preciouses wanting to get revenge for me. I tried to warn her that the ships weren't James even though he had stolen all of them from you lord. But Mhera grabbed me and the signs and with surprising strength hauled me too the ship. I put up the signs in the proper order but James came along and mumbling in a crazy voice started taking them down and throwing them on the floor.

They got really confused and I wasn't sure if I was putting them up right. But right about there I went to put some up in the engine room and James locked me in. So it was actually James acting like a mad person that causes all these problems.

I didn't mean to give Mhera AAA batteries rather than D cells. I don't have a lot of experience with batteries. When I went to the battery storage room (no idea why the ship has an entire room devoted to batteries), I saw a container clearly labelled "D cell batteries". I grabbed a handful out of the container, handed them to Mhera (who was standing in the battery room with me) and walked out, heading to the programming room.

I was unaware that the container label for the AAA's had been switched with the D cells' label. But as I know barely anything about batteries (and the individual batteries didn't have the usual foil-y label identifying them), I can't be blamed for not realizing they weren't D cells. In fact, Mhera is to blame because she recognized them as AAA's and didn't inform me or try to find the right ones.

"As far as Izeroth and his guns, I don't know or care what he was shooting, whether it was a laser gun, finger gun, cap gun, pellet gun, or water gun. I wasn't actually there anyway, as he full well knows; Sky was the one that told me about that incident. All I can say is to look at the bullet holes in the walls. They speak for themselves, no matter how many snide remarks Izeroth makes about me."

"In his eagerness to deflect attention over to someone not at fault, Sandpaw omits all the details that make sense of the situation."

"When I first gave the device to Sandpaw, I said, "This device is very dangerous; it makes things old. Don't ever use it on anything!" He said, "You mean it makes things look old, right?" I said, "No, it makes them old." He just repeated himself, "So it makes things look old, right?" I tried to tell him about what it did for five minutes, but he just kept repeating the same thing, with a big smirk on his face. I was getting frustrated. I knew that Sandpaw kept and had a bizarre attachment to a robotic exploding cat that was hazardous to the ship, so I decided to take care of two things at once. I said, "Okay, fine, you're right, it only makes things look old, it doesn't do annnnnything else! I insist! Watch and see!" I shot it at his exploding robot cat, and it turned into metal dust, proving the actual power of the device. Hoping this would convince him of the need to keep it safe, I gave the device to him, and warned him, saying, "The Overlord will be very upset with you if you let this device be misused."

"After this conversation, I was greatly relieved, as I trusted in Sandpaw to redeem himself by taking care of this minor assignment, and skipped away cheerfully singing some lines from a song, as mentioned. The song was from your Majesty's favorite musical, Peter the Scarlet Pirate Phantom of the Secret Society, where the title character sings about the collection of ships he discovered, and I felt it was appropriate considering that we were, in fact, surrounded by your Majesty's glorious ship collection. Anyone that is a faithful subject of yours would know of your undying love for this play, and should recognize the song. Sandpaw, on the other hand, claims that it meant I was laying claim to and stealing your ships (which, in fact, I never once touched, due to my respect of your property). I think it is obvious how things lie here."

"As far as taking the signs down, it was necessary to do that, because they covered up all of the ship's internal solar power emitters. Everything inside is powered by these, and putting signs over them would have kept all of the ship's instruments and devices from working. When I was "mumbling", I was quoting the ship's instruction manual, which said all of this."

"As far as the engine room, per the spaceship's instruction manual, the door is supposed to be closed and locked at all times, unless everyone onboard is in a space suit. I assumed that someone carelessly left it open, and closed and locked the door, not knowing that Sandpaw was in there. Even if I had known he was in there, though, it still would have been proper to do this, per your instructions to follow all ship guidelines. It is not my fault if others act in disobedience to your Majesty's orders."

OOC: I'm soooo confused but I need to try (this is the most times I've ever posted in a session, lol)

IC: Skyblade raised a hand to speak. "I hope you don't mind all the words I am adding to this story, Sir Soren. When my allies keep saying more things about my actions, I must clarify.

I had little to nothing to do with the "threatening with a gun" incident that led to whoever navigated the vessel, which led to our crashing.

However, I believed that we had reason to be wary of Izeroth. It's true what he said: he was shooting a finger gun. However, he never said that it was imaginary. Remember from our last mission? He is a world-class magician. He can pull off some incredible feats. For all we knew, his finger gun could be a well-placed magic trick and I knew we had to be careful. Caution is the key, as I like to say (and few care to follow).

Anyway, after I warned everyone to be prudent, I went to the engine room because the other servants had tasked me with being there. I was not breaking any rules because in reality, everyone on board was in a space suit. Sir, trust me. I was just trying to do my duty correctly."

Sky nodded, resigned to whatever was going to occur.

Sir, being able to find the bathroom is extremely important for obvious reasons. The sooner I located and clearly marked where it was, the better. This way no one would be confused or lose valuable time trying to find it later in the mission. LT didn't look like he was doing anything but running around, so I recruited him to help, albeit a little more forcefully than I had originally intended. I didn't realize he was busy, sir.

As for why I didn't say anything to Jukka about the batteries, it was because I figured she was focusing on the programming. Not wanting to break her concentration, I said nothing. I was going to try and find some D cells, but Jukka was understandably anxious to get started so we immediately went to the programming station.

OOC: I tried to word this so that it was just a defense that doesn't require anyone to reply. It's getting hard to keep things straight!

Soren, confused and tired of his servents bickering, ended it by simply saying "QUIET!!!!!!!!!!" In a voice that rattled the Galaxy. "Your excuses are pathetic, your work, pathetic. I don't know what to do with you all. But I can do something about one of you. LT Sandpaw!"
Sandpaw disappeared from the platform, and appeared in garbage scowl cargo bin. He picked up a shovel, and started hefting piles of strange substances onto a plate. He sat, and ate the grotesque food.
"I'm sure you were hungry Sand. You'll be eating that for your now eternal life. Finally, something good to watch on Food Network."
He turned to the others.
"I must admit, I can't stand any of you. So I'm sending you somewhere that will have little effect on me. You are going to a small town in the little country of America, where you will get for me the great Diggin' 4 You trophy stolen from me by the Mole Men. You will sneak into the sewer, steal the trophy back, and sneak back out. Simple as that."

Three days later...

"You all are impossible. Somehow, you managed to get me my trophy, but it's covered in sewer sludge. Then you also apparently brought down a building, a satellite, disrupted a Big Data/Fitz and the Tantrums/Kongos concert, and managed to be kidnapped by a armada of time traveling guitars! EXPLAIN!"

You see, Overlord, we drove to a small desert town in Arizona where the Mole Men lived (in the sewer). We stopped at the local Wal-Mart to buy hazmat suits, and after donning them, we went over to the nearest manhole and entered the sewer.

Skye, however, has a phobia of small, dark places, and after being in the sewer for twenty seconds started panicking (quite unnecessarily, I might add, since the sewer was neither small nor dark (the ceiling was six-and-a-half feet up, and we all had headlamps)). While she was engaged in having a panic attack, I turned to the others.

"Guys, I did some online research before we came here, and I discovered that the Mole Men are hostile to all intruders. Therefore, we'll need a diversion," I whispered. "Then the rest of us can grab the trophy and we can all get out. Simple."

"Ooh, I'll be the diversion-ater!" Mhera squealed loudly. "I LOVE DIVERSIONS!"

"SSHH!" I hissed. But it was too late. Behind me, I heard a noise and whirled around, expecting to see a Mole Man. However, it was a guitar floating in midair.

James looked overjoyed. "I have finally succeeded in contacting time-traveling guitars!" he yelled, waving a walkie-talkie around.

Suddenly a bunch of floating guitars surrounded us, stole our headlamps, and marched us into the depths of the sewer! I don't know what happened between the first five minutes and our eventual escape, though, 'cause I banged my head on a low ceiling edge and blacked out for a while.

But as you see, James was entirely responsible for our getting captured by guitars. I was just being a responsible servant.

Skyblade raised her hand.

"Sir, here is my perspective. I do indeed have a phobia of small, dark places. I also acknowledge that I had a panic attack. However, it was very mild. Not wanting to disrupt the mission, I silently calmed myself down within a minute.

Anyway, I realize now that the sewer was actually large and lit, but at that time I truly thought it was small and dark. The reason being that I was tricked by Izeroth the magician. I was fine at first, but then he told me in a creepy voice, "The sewers are actually really small and really dark." "No, they're not," I said, continuing to walk. "Yes, they are," Izeroth persisted. "The sewers may look big and light, but it's simply an optical illusion I created with my magician powers. He continued lying that the sewers were smaller and dimmer than they really were, convincing me that it was all an illusion, until my phobia kicked in and my body started to freak out. If you know anything about phobias, sir, you know that they're extreme and hard to control. Thankfully, I managed to calm myself down no thanks to anybody else.

As Jukka said, we were soon surrounded by time-traveling guitars. We were marched into the sewers, where we were tied up and locked in jails for a whole day. Jukka and Izeroth helped us escape, and we kept going on our way.

We encountered the Mole Man soon after, who I managed to defeat. I grabbed the trophy (the correct one, and nothing was wrong with it), and said, "We got it. Now let's go back to Overlord Soren and return it to him ASAP before anything wrong happens." I knew a quick route back, and suggested it to everyone. Mhera, however, said, "Naah. We don't need to hurry! We''ll be fine! Let's goof around instead of taking this trophy back to Overlord Soren even though it really is the right one and there's nothing wrong with it." She offered no explanation for this action.

"No, I don't think that's a great idea," I said reasonably. "We really need to succeed this time."

"WHO CARES IF WE FAIL THIS MISSION?" yelled James. "I DON'T!!! IF OVERLORD SOREN DOESN'T GET HIS TROPHY BACK, I DON'T CARE!!!!"

I was about to reply when Jukka suddenly knocked me out from behind before I could react. When I woke up, I was in the backstage of a stage at a concert for some reason. I crept outside, my head throbbing from where Jukka had hit me, and burst outside. Mhera and James were throwing bombs at a building and satellite that said, "OVERLORD SOREN'S VERY, VERY IMPORTANT STUFF". Innocent citizens screamed and ran around at the chaos.

Suddenly, I saw the trophy on the ground, but it was covered with sewer slime for some reason. When I ran to get it, a piece of the falling building fell on me and crushed me. I was instantly knocked unconscious.

I woke up here. I did not suggest, encourage, or force anyone else into doing the things they did. I was just trying to make this mission a success."

Skye is correct in saying that Izeroth and I rescued everyone from where we were being held. We managed this because, as soon as I woke up in my cell, I immediately remembered that I had a metal file in my pocket. I sawed the bars off and helped everyone escape. And since Izzy is a magician, he created some optical illusions to confuse the guitars and allow us to actually get out of the sewer.

As we made our daring escape, however, Izzy crept up behind me and whispered, "I'll remove my illusions and allow the guitars to recapture us unless you knock Skye out!"

"Why?" I asked.

"Because I don't like her!"

I was surprised, because most people love Skye. "Um... why couldn't you just knock her out yourself?"

"'Cause I wanna frame you for it!"

"Ookay..." And as much as I hated having to do it, the success of our mission was far more important. So I sneaked up behind her and knocked her out. James and Mhera were unaware of who had done it. I carried her the rest of the way.

Once we got out, Mhera suggested that, since we had already retrieved the trophy, we could take time out and attend a Big Data/Fitz and Tantrums/Kongos concert. I protested a couple of times, but no one listened to me. We ended up going.

 Most glorious overlord, know that I had no part in the failure of this mission. I, as always, was working for the success of our mission and the greater good.

As we were walking through the sewers, Skyblade told me to tell her the opposite of what she wanted to hear. I objected, but she said it was important. Therefore, I gave in and told her that the sewers were enchanted, figuring that was pretty different from what she wanted to hear.

Anyway, as we were escaping from the guitars, Skyblade kept screaming out, revealing our position to the guitars. I would have apprehended her myself, but I had some volatile spell scrolls in my pocket (I'd taken them from the evil guitars), and I feared a confrontation with Sky might result in a large and very damaging magic explosion.

Well, the guitars were gaining on us, so I knew I had to silence Skyblade fast. I ordered Jukka to knock Skyblade out, saying it was "Because I don't like her screaming. It could reveal our location to the guitars."

When Jukka asked why I couldn't just do it myself, I told her about the spell scrolls. When she refused to believe me, I sarcastically said, "Fine. The real reason is because I want to frame you for it."

Skyblade decided to speak again regarding what Izeroth had said.

"Sir, it is true that I told Iz to say the opposite of what I wanted to hear. However, he is leaving out some details. AS it turns out, Izeroth received a phone call while we were on the mission. After his conversation, he turned to me and said:

"Skyblade, I have really bad news for you."

"What?" I said, my heart accelerating when I saw the somber expression on his face.

"It's really bad, Sky," he said grimly, "Really bad. In fact, I think you would cry and break down if you heard it. It's so sad, and it will tear your tender heart. But it's also really important, so I think I should tell you. I wonder what we can do?"

Now, I am naturally a sensitive person. "Okay, Izeroth," I said, "How about this? Since this is so important, you can tell me the news, but say the opposite of what it really is. Maybe then, the pain will be less. But ONLY this news. After you tell me the bad news, don't speak opposite. Understand?"

He objected, but I reminded him that if the news was important, I should hear it just in case. After a moment, he nodded.

"Well, the news is...Jukka's cat did not just eat your BLT at home."

Not so serious after all. I was a bit annoyed by his prank to get me worried, then drop that "horribly" bad news on me. Izeroth must have forgotten or something like that that I clearly told him to say the opposite only for this, and continued it on to describe the sewers.

Let me explain why I was screaming. You see, I was walking with the group and minding my own business when Mhera threw a Dangerous Heavily Electric Spider at my face. Well, when I turned around and saw that deadly creature rocketing towards me while growing bigger and bigger, my natural, instinctive reaction was to scream. The spider shocked my nose, and I cried out again because I couldn't hold in the pain. This rare species of spider is known for giving extremely painful shocks that make grown men cry, much more teenage girls. They are also notorious for having an iron grip and being almost impossible to get off your skin no matter what you do. I shook it and grabbed it but it just shocked me more. The spider zapped me again and again, making me scream. I also was frantically telling my group to get it off me, because we all know that enough shocks from this spider can kill. Mhera was taking pictures of me with her phone, remarking that the pictures would get "so many likes on Facebook". Sir, I really tried not to scream, but I couldn't hold it in when that spider kept painfully shocking me. Thankfully, when I was knocked out, I couldn't feel the pain anymore."

Overlord sir, I am a certified Diversionator. My thing is creating awesome diversions, a talent I don't get to use very often. So when Jukka suggested we create a diversion I volunteered my skills. I was a little loud, yes, but since Mole Men are deaf I really wasn't concerned about it. I'm surprised Jukka didn't know that fact given all of her purported research. I don't think any of us except James were expecting the guitars, so perhaps I can be forgiven for not being cautious regarding them.

Regarding my desire to have some free time after retrieving the trophy, I had heard that the Big Data/Fitz and the Tantrums/Kongos concert was in town. Knowing what a kind and gracious Overlord you are and how quickly we had accomplished the mission compared to other times, I figured you wouldn't begrudge us some enjoyment.

When we got to the concert, everything was fine until suddenly the loud speakers stopped blasting Fool's Gold and instead started pumping out the Barney and Friends' theme song on a loop. The crowd went into confusion, and after a few play throughs of the song Izeroth's voice came over the speaker; here is what he said:

"Hulloooooo, world! I am your soon-to-be Emperor Izeroth, and I have hijacked the OVERLORD SOREN'S VERY, VERY IMPORTANT STUFF for my evil plans that consist of overthrowing him! Prepare to serve me forever! Hahahaha!!!!!"

James and I immediately set about trying to stop him, lobbing bombs at your property because Izeroth had hijacked it to topple you. It was Izeroth's fault the concert was disrupted, sir, and James and I were just trying to stop him.

As for the spider, Sky had approached us all earlier about how she wanted to pull a publicity stunt to get famous. "Something super dangerous, scary, and unexpected would be perfect," she said, "so I'm leaving it up to you guys to come up with something. Surprise me!" After she left, James said that an encounter with that certain species of spider would check all the boxes that Sky had mentioned; given her description of the event he was correct. It was Jukka's idea to do the act during the mission, though. Since I'm extremely tolerant regarding electric shocks I handled the spider and photography. I'm sure that once she uploads the pictures she will get her morbid desire for fame sated by thousands of Facebook likes, just as I was saying during the act. No one else tried to get the spider off until after Sky blacked out as the whole group was in on it.

 Earlier, Skyblade had told me that the BLT she had at home was very important, for it was somehow essential to one of her plans. Therefore, I considered its destruction a tragedy.

I never actually intended to overthrow you. Jukka the sling, you see, had told me to pretend I was going to overthrow you, saying that it was all part of "the plan". I didn't quite understand how taking over the speakers and pretending to become emperor would help anything, but Jukka told me that it was necessary, and urged me to put the plan in action ASAP. Alas, I never realized that I was actually interrupting one of your transmissions; Jukka had earlier told me that there would be no orders from you that day.

Skyblade spoke again.

"Izeroth is right. The BLT was essential to one of my plans - eating tomorrow's lunch. I didn't really mind skipping that and just shrugged it off when I found out that Jukka's cat had gotten to it. I guess to Iz, however, eating is very important. Anyway, this was a minor misunderstanding and had no vital repercussions on the mission.

Mhera is also right in that I asked the group to help me pull off a stunt. I was hoping that if I got famous, I would get money, and I could use the cash to get you a good, awesome, perfectly safe gift, Sir Soren. However, I also made it very clear to everyone to do the stunt when we were not on a mission. Apparently, they either forgot or didn't listen to my warning."

I told Izzy to take over and said it was part of "the plan" only to test his loyalty to you, Sir Soren. And he failed it with flying colors. I was unaware that there was a transmission coming in from Your Highness; I do apologize. However, Mhera had handed me a note before the concert saying that there would be no more orders from you that day.

And it was my idea to throw the electric spider on Skye during the mission because it would be totally unexpected. I think I had my earbuds in pumping out "Concerning Hobbits" when she told us NOT to do it on the mission. I can hardly be blamed for this, though, since "Concerning Hobbits" is one of your favorite songs, Overlord, and I love it as well, so it was my way of paying tribute to you.

"I noticed that Jukka was listening to music. Hence why I told all the other servants to let her know not to do the stunt during a mission once she was free. I also told them to warn her before we went on our next mission. Apparently, they didn't."

The thing was, no one even told me after I pulled my earbuds out. Weird.

 Oh, did I mention that (via a laptop) Jukka almost activated the IDS (interplanetary defense system) around your base? I believe she mentioned something about "world domination" while trying to turn it on.

  Anyway, before she could activate the five-hundred or so nuclear missiles, I zapped Jukka with a tazer and deactivated the system. I surely saved a vast swath of your property from destruction.

Not my best work. It's a start, though.

"With so many perfect people that never do wrong, it's amazing how these servants persistently stumble upon defeat."

"I will admit that contacting time-traveling guitars has always been a dream of mine, but as your Majesty knows, there is an excellent reason for this. The guitars are very generous and routinely grant wishes to those they meet. Knowing how this could help your cause and our mission, and seeing on my zone field detector how the environment was conducive to getting in touch with them, I saw no reason not to try to do so, and it worked."

"What these others leave out in between our being surrounded and our being kidnapped is that Izeroth said, "I sure wish that we would be kidnapped and that you would be eaten, Sky". The guitars were listening and started to oblige his wish. I would have wished something else to undo that, but then Sky started humming. As you know, the one thing that guitars hate is other instruments, and people attempting to imitate them, humming included. They got mad, and didn't listen to any other wishes we had to make. In spite of people trying to pin the blame for this on me without cause, it is eminently clear that what I did was good and would have been extremely helpful, if it was not sabotaged by the actions of others."

"After we escaped, we encountered the Mole Man. Mhera, Sky and Jukka were throwing apples at him, which bounced harmlessly off of his invulnerable ultra-force shield. The power switch for it was right on the wall, but Izeroth had told them, "Don't turn it off; throw enough apples and they're bound to get through eventually". I have no idea why he said this, given that it is a known fact that ultra-force shields can resist any and all physical impacts, and that not even throwing planets at him would have done any good. Anyway, after offering this useless advice, he sat in the corner, twiddling his thumbs, and did nothing else. I turned off the power switch, which allowed the Mole Man to be hit and knocked out by one of Sky's apples."

"What Sky omits when she mentioned my saying, "Who cares if we fail this mission", is that I was quoting Izeroth. He had said that at one point in the mission, and with our mission accomplished, I felt it was a good time to confront him about his statements. In the process of doing so, I yelled his words at him."

"In spite of Sky's behavior, though, I was still concerned about her survival. During the battle, Sky had gotten hit with miniscule Mole Man Drills. She didn't see it, but they would have bored into her body and killed her. I knew that the electric spider's electricity would knock out and dislodge these drills, and suggested it because it would save her life. As far as the stunt goes, well, I figured that since the spider fulfilled all of the criteria she wanted, we might as well kill two birds with one stone. I didn't mention this because Sky is deathly afraid of parasites, and even the thought of having some Drills on her would have given her a heart attack. While being blasted with an electric spider was no doubt painful, it wasn't as bad as the drills would have been, and I knew that this was necessary to save her life. This is also why I was hesitant to immediately return to base, and instead went along with Mhera's insane desire to go to a concert, because I knew that the spider needed time to charge up for a good electric blast, and also the Drills would have instantly killed Sky if they sensed a teleporter beam surrounding us."

"Throwing the bombs was necessary because the noise from the concert had powered up the giant sonic-powered antimatter howitzer sitting on top of the building. I'm surprised nobody noticed it, given that an alarm went off and a robotic voice warned us, "WARNING: ANTIMATTER CANNON IS POWERING UP. PLEASE VACATE PREMISES", but I guess everybody thought it was just part of the awful music. The bombs disabled the howitzer, which would have otherwise vaporized large parts of the planet and destroyed your Majesty's trophy."

"As you can see, everything that I did was reasonable and necessary, given the trouble encountered during the mission."

 My wish was said jokingly; I never actually meant it. It's worth noting that the others, Skyblade included, wished things against each other that would make my wish seem kind and thoughtful in comparison.

Anyway, I ordered the others to not touch the power switch because I knew it would activate an army of evil robot drones. The instructions on the switch clearly stated this, but for some reason none of the others seemed to notice. Fortunately, just as James Gryphon touched the switch, I found a mini-controller that controlled the robots and deactivated them. It was so small that it was hard to see it-- this is why I appeared to be twiddling my thumbs.

I suppose I did hand Jukka a note saying that there would be no more orders from you that day, but I wouldn't know. The paper had fallen out of her pocket while we were walking, and I picked it up and handed it back to her without reading it. I just assumed the note was hers, sir, and can assure you I did not write it or have any knowledge of what was on it.

As James mentioned I was just throwing apples at the Mole Man because of Izeroth.

And I was throwing apples at the Mole Man because of Izeroth and Mhera. And the note was absolutely not mine, so I have no idea how it got in my pocket to begin with. Mhera is in charge of our laundry; maybe she knows?

Nope, no idea. Again, I'd never seen the note before. Possibly Sky does, as she's in charge of folding the clothes.

Skyblade grinned slightly. "The reason I can smile, sir, is that I am confident that this was not my fault. Let me justify myself.

I honestly never knew that humming angers time-traveling guitars. I was misled because of Mhera and Jukka, who told me that time-traveling guitars love humming". I am sorry for the confusion, sir.

As mentioned, I was throwing apples because Izeroth convinced us that it was the best way to defeat the Mole Man.

Also, when we were wishing "terrible" things against each other, we were joking.

I am grateful to James for saving my life, however.

Quote from: Mhera on May 06, 2015, 01:22:57 AM
Nope, no idea. Again, I'd never seen the note before. Possibly Sky does, as she's in charge of folding the clothes.

I was busy at the time running an errand for you, Overlord, so I asked Izeroth to cover the clothes folding before the mission. Thus, I know nothing about this note."

I only said that time-traveling guitars love humming because before the mission, Izzy shoved a book at me and said, "Read this and inform yourself on some of the dangers we might face on this mission. Don't worry, I've researched it already to ensure its accuracy." The book was called Time-Traveling Guitars: Their Diet, Behavior, and Habitat. It informed me that humming was the very best thing you could possibly do to calm down a time-traveling guitar.

Blame Izzy.

 James Gryphon was the one who recommended the book to me. I was a little suspicious, seeing as it was written by "anonymous", but Gryphon assured me of its authenticity.

As for the clothes, I folded them without incident. Someone must have tampered with them afterwards.

I had nothing to do with the clothes or the book, just to clarify, sir.

"It's worth noting that the wishing of 'terrible things' took place after the guitars had kidnapped everyone, no thanks to Izeroth. After Izeroth's wish was granted by the guitars, and they had gotten mad at us, Jukka said, "Great, just great. We're in for it now, no thanks to you, Izeroth. I wish that an anvil would fall down from the ceiling and crush your skull." Sky giggled and said, "How about a hammer!". Mhera said that she wished that everyone would drown in dumpster juice. This escalated quickly, until finally Sky wished that all of us, including your Majesty, would be transformed into sparkling, Belieber My Little Vampire Ponies. The horror of that wish shocked the rest of us into silence, and we spent the rest of the trip thanking the guitars for not granting any more wishes."

"The book I gave Izeroth was, at the time, perfectly fine, and had nothing but correct and true information. It was a first edition of a book made by Galawiki; at the time it was first published, its author was in the Witness Protection Program, and rather than attribute it to a pseudonym, he sent it in as "Anonymous". In later editions of the book, however, the author was revealed to be a famous and very trustworthy galactic traveller."

"So, it's true that I told Izeroth, as well as everyone else, that they should read this insightful book, and get acquainted with these powerful potential allies of your Majesty's, and I don't regret that decision. After all, I had no way to know that Mhera would rip out all the book's pages and glue Sky's comic books inside the covers. The comic books feature dimension-shifting oboes as an archenemy of the guitars, and in issue #1T, one of their henchstruments, a bumbling fool, says "I tho't Guitars love humming?". I'm not sure why Izeroth didn't notice that the book had obviously been tampered with, and insisted on taking it and studying it even after I said that it could now no longer be of any use to him, but that's none of my business."

"Finally, I saw the label on the power switch, but it did say that it would start the sixteen hour-long activation sequence, and that the drones would be functional at and only at the end of that sequence (Mole Men are lawyers, so I wasn't surprised to see so much fine print on the label). I figured that, as bad as Sky, Mhera and Jukka's arms might be, they would probably be able to defeat an unshielded Mole Man by then. I also knew that once the Mole Man was knocked out, his entire robot army would shut down and disintegrate. So, there was nothing to be worried about."

OOC: Let me post. I'm going to have A LOT of fun with this ;D


IC:

Skyblade spoke up. “Sir, let me explain what happened regarding the wishes.

As James said, everything just started horribly and escalated from there. It all began after Izeroth’s wish. Then, Jukka wished that an anvil would kill him. There were some time-traveling guitars literally a few feet away from us, and they turned at that comment. I immediately began to worry that they would grant Jukka’s wish. We couldn’t let Izeroth die, so I quickly added, “How about a hammer!” since I knew that the hammers of the time-traveling guitars are incredibly small and do no damage at all. I was hoping that if they did want to grant Jukka’s wish, I could change it so Izeroth would not get mauled.

Mhera saw the time-traveling guitars but continued, “I wish you all would drown in dumpster juice!!”

“Stop saying things like that!” I protested.

I was ignored.

“Well, I wish you all would fall off a cliff!” said Izeroth.

“I wish you would fall in the Bottomless Pit of Despair!” shot back Mhera.

“I wish you would fall in the ABOLUTELY BOTTOMLESS PIT OF DESPAIR!” countered Jukka.

“Please stop, the guitars are right there!” I reiterated.

“I wish you’ll choke on your BLT when you eat it for lunch tomorrow!” said Izeroth.

“Please, stop this negativity. It’s not helping the mission,” I pleaded. “And what are you even talking about? Jukka’s cat ate my BLT, remember?”

“Well, I wish Jukka’s cat eats you next!” shouted Mhera.

What James failed to mention is that he also took part in the wishing. In fact, he said some pretty nasty ones himself (“I wish you all would censored for everyone’s benefit”, “I wish you would die a mysterious death”, and “I WISH YOU ALL WOULD TURN INTO USELESS PIECES OF BACON LIKE THE PORKZOLLI IN OVERLORD'S ORDER 14!”).

The wishes just kept getting worse and worse. I took no part in any of it other than the hammer thing mentioned earlier and the pony one, which I will clarify in a moment.

I looked at the time-traveling guitars fretfully. They seemed to be shaking their heads, and I heard the leader mutter, “It’s probably best to not grant their morbid wishes. Let’s just ignore them.”

“Okay, as you wish. Though that's some terrible stuff they're saying there,” added another guitar as they paused to read Guitar Talk, a rip-off of the Flute Talk monthly magazine.

However, the other servants didn’t even notice this conversation. So as for why they were wishing such malevolent things, I don’t know.

Eventually, it was getting really bad. At this point, people were cursing at each other. I got fed up with this chaos and decided I needed to do something about it. If they wouldn’t listen to my reason, perhaps I could shock them into silence. I said something random about wishing that they and you would turn into ponies. Sir Soren, you know I didn’t mean it. I was trying to get them to be quiet so we could cooperate and actually focus on something important and productive (like, you know, our mission). Thankfully, my plan worked – I dislike using clichés but this phrase fits rather well – like a charm. The others shut their traps.

Let me also explain about the comic book. I had nothing to do with putting it in the book whatsoever. I told the other very clearly to not mess with my comic book. Apparently, they didn’t listen. It was a prized procession from my dear, goodhearted father as a parting gift while I came to serve you. There’s nothing wrong or evil about it, so I kept it. The only reason I really liked it is that 1) It’s a gift from my beloved father, as I already mentioned, and 2) The main characters are a flute and piccolo. Actually, the part about the oboes and the guitars, while it takes up a bulk of the storyline, is minor compared to the flute stuff. I read it only for the flute and piccolo action. The comic book contained a lot of helpful tips for flute and piccolo playing regarding tone, breathing, articulation, technique, intonation, vibrato, and everything else that bolsters a well-meaning flutist. They really helped me become a better flute/piccolo player for the recital I performed last week to raise money to buy you another awesome gift and repair our base.

If there is anything else that needs to be explained, just let me know, Sir Soren.”

Skyblade bowed.

Quote from: Izeroth on May 04, 2015, 10:13:16 PM
Oh, did I mention that (via a laptop) Jukka almost activated the IDS (interplanetary defense system) around your base? I believe she mentioned something about "world domination" while trying to turn it on.

  Anyway, before she could activate the five-hundred or so nuclear missiles, I zapped Jukka with a tazer and deactivated the system. I surely saved a vast swath of your property from destruction.

OOC: Forgot about this.
BIC:

Sir, I was not trying to activate the IDS. I was merely playing a completely innocent, non-evil, and very realistic hacking simulator, as you told me you wished for me to become a proficient hacker to further your own noble ends. (Apparently Izzy needs glasses.) I was muttering something about "world domination" to myself 'cause that's part of the very catchy simulator theme song, and it was stuck in my head. Next thing I know, I'm tazed.

And I was wishing that an anvil would fall on Izzy and that everyone would fall into the ABSOLUTELY BOTTOMLESS PIT OF DESPAIR because I was annoyed and completely unaware that the guitars have the power to grant wishes. Yes, the book had not supplied that information, and I was sadly ignorant. If I had known the danger, I would never have done what I did.

 Jukka fails to mention that the "game" she was playing was made by a well-known rival of yours. While the game itself was harmless, the fact that Jukka was using one of your enemy's products brings her loyalty into question.

Sir, you yourself suggested this particular simulator to me, saying that it didn't matter if it was made by your rival, as everyone is your rival in the Overlording business.

Sir, James did indeed hand me the time-traveling guitar book. Unfortunately as soon as I opened it up he lit the pages on fire and ran off cackling. Taken aback by his random pyromaniacal spurt, I just stood there stunned as the pages burned through before finally putting out the flames. Now that the pages were scorched and unreadable, I decided to tear out the worthless paper and repurpose the still intact cover for good.

See, earlier Sky had been fretting about the safety of her beloved comics, crying something about how she didn't want the books damaged in any way. I realized that putting a hard cover on them would protect them, and as I now had one of the right size in my possession I glued the books in as a gift for her. Even though (as I later learned) she didn't want anyone touching her comic books, she seemed pleased with my work at the time. Since I had no way of knowing that the others wouldn't be competent enough to know the difference between a comic book and an in depth study of time-traveling guitars, I don't think I should be held responsible for their ineptitude.

As for my wishes, sir, we all know that dumpster juice is synonymous with happiness; when I said that I wanted everyone to drown in dumpster juice it meant that I wanted everyone to drown in happiness. I did wish that Izeroth would fall into the Bottomless Pit of Despair because there he would be incapable of further ruining the mission. Since it's bottomless, he wouldn't die from landing; the only harm he would come to was being a little sad until after the mission, when we could toss a rope down and rescue him. After all, it's not named the Bottomless Pit of Despair That No One Can Be Rescued From.

Skyblade raised a hand.

"Sir Soren, I have a few more clarifications for you. Mhera is right in that I didn't want my comic books ruined - reason being that they are incredibly valuable. I believe some people misunderstood. These comics are more than just a collection of stories; they contain timeless advice, all of which would benefit me. And by benefiting me, the tips would benefit others.

For instance, I have already mentioned that they contain many flute and piccolo playing tips. Thanks to all of these, I was able to give a great performance and raise a lot of money for your gift and repairs around our base (that the other servants had ruined).

Not only this, but they had advice for how to be a good servant for an Overlord. Clearly, the Overlord in mind is you, Sir Soren - nobody else.

In addition, they contained a section titled "Skills that will help you accomplish good and righteous things". I found good advice from here that is sure to assist me in future missions.

So, Mhera did indeed find a cover for me. I was a bit upset that she touched these books even though I had told everyone not to do so, but overall was okay since she had found a method of protecting them. Afterwards, I told EVERY SERVANT in a very clear and audible voice that even though my comic had a cover for a book about time-traveling guitars, it was still a comic book and they shouldn't take advice from it. Everyone heard me and said, "Okay Got it, Skyblade!"

As usual, I was working only to make this mission a success - never a failure."

I said, "Okay. Got it, Skyblade!" out of habit (since Skye is frequently giving us advice that may or may not be helpful, and it had gotten a tiny bit annoying).  The fact was, at the time she said this, I only barely heard her, since I was listening to an enlightening lecture on my earbuds about how to please an Overlord.  Izeroth had recommended it to me, and though I was skeptical at first, given his strange and sometimes suspicious magic ways, I began listening to it and was pleasantly surprised.

Skyblade wore a slight smile as she listened to her comrade's justification. The grin faded as she turned back to the Overlord to be replaced with an expression of solemn gravity.

"Sir, I honestly don't know why Jukka is complaining about the vital advice I gave everyone. In reality, she and the other servants were the ones who requested constant tidbits of advice in the first place. Of course, I was willing to help them and told them what I believed would benefit us all in future missions. They weren't bad tips either - quite useful, for that matter. I figured this all would get annoying after a while, but I was acting out of what the others wanted.

It's good of Jukka to have been listening to a lecture regarding how to please an Overlord. However, I would like to point out that there is a right time for everything, and that time was not at all suitable. I had told everyone to please listen regarding the comic book, and that this was a truly important, high-priority thing to heed. Having given this special emphasis, I am not to blame. People should pay attention to whatever is significant. Ignorance is a hindrance."

I only asked Skye for advice a couple of times.  The other questions were all asked by the others.  And I did not hear her when she asked us to listen because I was already listening to the lecture and could barely hear over it, as I said before.

OOC: I'm trying to respond in a way that won't require you to reply, Skye.

 Mhera did indeed wish for me to fall into the Bottomless Pit of Despair. Now, that would have been fine, but then James Gryphon wished for me to fall into the Bottomless Pit of Despair That No One Can Escape From. Jukka then wished for me to burst into flames, with Sky subsequently wishing me to be petrified. The only thing that saved me from these horrible fates, I believe, was the group getting into an argument over whether the Bottomless Pit was really bottomless.

Disgusted, Soren raised a hand. "Alright, you fools. You are all unhelpful, but one stands out especially. James Gryphon, you not only lit fire to the only item possible to keep this pathetic team together, but also wished for your own teammate's untimely demise. That's my job! You all have failed this mission, but one will not go on."
James disappeared from the platform.mHe started to reappear on one place, then to another. Never fully materializing, and constantly moving.
"Ah, yes. He'll make for a good book called Where's Gryfo? I've always wanted to try my hand at childrens book writing."
Soren turned to the others.
"Now, this next mission shouldn't be too hard, even for you. I need you to go to the nearest Apple Store, and buy me an Apple Watch. I've got my eye on one with the link band. I'm not trusting you with my money again, so you'll each have to take up jobs to raise the money yourselves. It's only $1200, so it shouldn't take too long."

Three weeks later...

"Well. What have I got to say?  Maybe I should point out how terrible you all were at your jobs! You all got fired! And someone caused the Apple Store to shut down due to "High theft rate" after it was robbed by four "masked people". EXPLAIN!"

OOC: I've planned out a fun post in advance and been looking forward to writing it.

IC: Sky raised a hand, nodded, and stepped forward. "Sir, let me give my perspective.

We did indeed get the jobs. Izeroth suggested that we steal the money from random strangers instead, but I told him, "No. That's morally wrong and we need to do this mission right for the Overlord. And that is by following his directions"

Anyway, Mhera became cashier, Izeroth was assigned to cleaning windows, Jukka organized things, and I helped answer people's questions about the store.

I don't know about the others, but I did great on my job - every question was answered impeccably.

We were on break when trouble started to stir.

"Hey, guys," said Mhera, pulling out a suspicious-looking black book, "I just bought this."

"What is it?" I asked, my skin tingling.

"It's called a Deathnote," replied Mhera cheerfully, as if the names wasn't depressing.

When I first heard the word Deathnote, I thought it might be a creepy piece of music or something. But Jukka proved otherwise.

"Oh I know those," she said nonchalantly, "If you write someone's name in it, that person dies, usually with a heart attack unless otherwise specified"

"What?" I said. I asked them what they were doing with this horrible Deathnote.

"We can kill innocent people with it," said Mhera morbidly.

"No," I said resolutely, "We are not killing innocent people."

I knew it would be a bad idea to keep that thing and tried to convince the others to see reason. But Izeroth said, "Maybe we should keep it just in case we need to kill someone evil" and Jukka said, "It'll be okay! Relax. Don't worry about it." I was outnumbered and nobody would listen to my rational advice. By then, the break had ended, and I had to go back to work or get fired.

It had been ten minutes when I heard a scream. Yes, I know what you are thinking.

"The manager has died from a heart attack!" another employee gasped, "He was just fine a moment ago, and then..." She burst into tears.

I ran to him and found him dead with his hand on his heart. More looking around and I found the horrid Deathnote.

In Mhera's handwriting it read, Louis Brough, the name of our manager. Our manager who I know was innocent and did nothing wrong. There were other names too, written by Mhera (and for some reason Jukka as well). All around the store, the innocent citizens they had named in the book fell in the places they stood, clutching their chests.

It was no coincidence.

"Why?" I whispered.

Just to make it clear, sir, I did absolutely nothing regarding the Deathnote other than hearing about it from the group earlier.

I immediately grabbed the Deathnote and threw it in the Bottomless Pit of Despair That Nothing Can Escape From, saving us all from potential future deaths.

I ran outside and saw Mhera and Jukka being kicked out of the store. "For murder, GET OUT!" I heard an officer say, "We spare you for being the Overlord's servants only!"

I thought I at least might have Iz to back me up. Then I saw him barrage through the side of the store with a car, destroying a big chunk that would cost millions to fix. He (who was wearing a mask, but I could still tell it was him) and three other masked people started stealing everything in the store. When I ran to stop him, he said, "I WILL rob this store!" and knocked me unconscious before I could do anything else.

I woke up here. I found out the store closed down from the murders and theft."

Skyblade started to shake. "It is a terrible story, but I know you trust me. I had nothing to do with the Deathnote or the theft. I was just doing my job and working for our success."

Sir, you may or may not know that Sky is a former Crazy Cat Lady. I say "former" because 10 years ago, after having bought dozens of middle aged cats (cheaper than kittens) to feed her feline obsession, family members told her not to buy any more cats. She agreed, on the condition that she got to keep the ones she already had. Sky told us all of this before the mission, as she was aware that the cats were very old and unhealthy now. The vet had advised her to put a few down, but she couldn't bear to and so asked me to dispose of them. I agreed to do so, knowing what a hard and painful thing it must be for Sky to even think about. I asked for a list of the cats that needed to go. She said she'd get me one soon.

By this time she had already begun her job training. As someone who had to field many questions and know all the answers, the manager said she had to begin training early; this is why she was so good at her job, sir. In fact, Sky was the only one who received adequate training. Surely I can't be held responsible for the management's lacking employee training policies. I was essentially stuck behind the cash register without being told how to do my job right; I didn't even know the manager's name and the only other employees I knew were the other servants (cash register isn't great for meeting other coworkers, and I worked straight through breaks to earn the most money as soon as possible). Anyway, shortly after she had begun training Sky handed me a note and said, "These are the names of the cats that need to be put down. It would be nice if it were done tomorrow." I opened up the list and at the top (written in Sky's handwriting, just like the whole list was) was Louis Brough, plus a few other names. I folded the note up and went back to to work, not knowing Sky was essentially setting me up to be a murderer. Looking back now, it makes sense; she often complained about how annoying the manager was, plus a few repeat customers who continually bugged her with what she called "stupid questions." As you can guess, those customers names were also on the list.

Anyhow, I bought a Deathnote after work since Sky had asked for the deed to be done the next day. I showed it to the others and mentioned that we could kill people with it as a warning to them to be very careful with what they write. After Jukka explained to her what it was, Sky said, "We are not killing innocent people."

"Of course not," I answered. "Just the cats you gave me a list of. Your house is too far away to get to during this mission, so using this book I can do the deed from here."

"Ah, I see. Just...just make sure you go into the janitor's closet, away from the customers and manager, when you write in it. I don't want you to you to know you're kil- er, I don't want you to get distracted," Sky responded.

I did as she asked and went into the janitor's closet during break (the first time I took a break the whole mission, sir; I worked my hardest); there I wrote down all the names, spelling them just like Sky had. As soon as I was done Jukka bolted in and stole the book from, looking enraged and screaming "Some folks just need killin'!" She ripped the book from my hands and before I could stop her she knocked me out. The next thing I knew I was getting thrown out of the store and being called a murderer.

The reason I was so nonchalant when explaining what a Deathnote was was due to the fact that I knew that Mhera would never use it for any evil purpose - just to put down Skye's cats.  After saying this, I realized it could also come in handy in an emergency, like, if a bunch of armed robbers entered the store.  Thus, I made no objection when Izzy suggested that we could use it to kill a bad guy, and I told Skye, "It'll be okay!  Relax.  Don't worry about it."

Later, however, when I was organizing a bunch of iPod touches (5th generation), Izzy (who should have been washing windows) crept up behind me.  I turned around and saw that he was wearing a black balaclava.  I instantly suspected that he was up to no good, and my fear was confirmed when he pointed a pistol at me and said, "Get me the Deathnote.  Now!"  Scared for my life, I did as he insisted.  I knew that Mhera was in the janitor's closet methodically killing cats with it, so I marched in there, grabbed the Deathnote off her (muttering "Some folks just need killin'!" under my breath about Izzy.  I did not actually mean it, but I was fearful of him and angry.), and walked out again.  As I left, I must have accidentally knocked over a heavy broom, and I think that's how Mhera became unconscious, because I heard a thump and a groan.  But I was in too much of a hurry to help her, 'cause I had to give the Deathnote to Izzy.

He was waiting right outside the janitor's closet, still with his gun trained on me.  I handed him the Deathnote, meanwhile pleading with him "not to kill a person".

Now, Izzy is an accomplished signature-forger, and I believe he wrote names in the book using my handwriting.  Therefore, none of this murder fiasco was my fault.

Sky crossed her arms, then quickly untangled them, fearing the posture may look irreverent. "Sir, I have clarifications to share.

I indeed bought dozens of cats. However, they were specially trained ninja animals who I got to help protect me. Raised in complete honor and integrity, these goodhearted living creatures were a source of great (and humane, of course) protection and saved my life a few times.

For ten years, Mhera threatened to kill me even though I had done nothing wrong. In fact, she deliberately attempted to do so multiple times - to the point that I had to do something for my security. My father suggested ninja cats, and I got them for this reason. Mhera is not the only one who called me "a crazy cat lady". I was derided for wanting to make a good decision that kept me alive. However, all these people ever did was insult me. They did not delve deeper, did not bother to understand why I did the things I did.

So, I did ask Mhera to put down the cats. However, the Deathnote was completely not my idea and not how I intended her to do the job. Everyone knows that Deathnotes are illegal and number three on the list of Top Ten Dangerous Items a sensible person should never ever use. Hence, I highly deprecated the use of Deathnotes, clearly highlighting the reasons against this. Nobody listened.

True, my house is far away, but I gave and told Mhera the perfectly ethical and functioning teleportation device for a reason. She could have killed the cats at my house very swiftly.

Now, since my cats were ninja warriors, they had human names. That wasn't my idea, they just came that way when I bought them a decade ago, and I couldn't change them. Now, let me make something very clear. At the time I gave Mhera the list, the manager and all the other people on the list I gave Mhera had completely and utterly different names. For example, the manager was called Bob. Not Louis Brough. And when I said this...

Quote from: Mhera"Ah, I see. Just...just make sure you go into the janitor's closet, away from the customers and manager, when you write in it. I don't want you to you to know you're kil- er, I don't want you to get distracted," Sky responded.

I asked for privacy since technically the Deathnote is illegal and we could get in huge trouble if we were caught. As I mentioned earlier, I tried to convince everyone else not to use the Deathnote and immediately get rid of it. I even said, "Forget about it, Mhera. Put down the cats tomorrow. Just get rid of the Deathnote. You are endangering us all!"

Mhera shrugged and said she didn't care if we all got in trouble. Jukka and Izeroth agreed. Powerless, I said we should hurry and kill the cats, in that case, and get rid of the Deathnote right afterwards.

Also, I was about to say "I don't want you to know you're killing my favorite cat" but I stopped myself because I didn't want to say something emotional that might impede her from doing the job that had to be done.

Mhera assumed things and jumped to conclusions. I did not mean to murder innocent humans at all.

I let nobody except Mhera see the list, so only she and another servant can be responsible for what happened next. From what I discovered after the mission, Izeroth walked up to the manager and threatend him - at gunpoint - to change his name to Louis Brough. Terrified, the manager changed his name. Then, Iz forced other innocent people to change their names until every name on my list of cats was covered. Thus, when Mhera wrote those names...you know what happened.

I don't know how Izeroth get his hands on that list or why he did what he did. Ask Mhera or maybe Jukka, sir. Also, I didn't know about this at all until after the mission, but Mhera and Jukka did know that Izeroth made everyone change his or her name to the ones on the list and did nothing about it even though they could. While Mhera is true in that she didn't know the actual names themselves, she did know exactly what Izeroth did."

Izeroth is a magician.  He told me once that a person's name is the key to unlocking their personality, and that with someone's name you can do interesting magic.  Because of this, when he went around forcing people to change their names, I didn't make the connection between his actions and the Deathnote.  (I wasn't present when he forced the manager at gunpoint to change his name to Louis Brough.  If I had seen that he was using a weapon to force people to obey, I would have been quite worried.  As it was, I only saw when he did it to two different women.  Those times he just flirted with them and charmed them into changing their names.)

OOC: Last minute revision

"Oh and also. My cats were old, so they weren't dangerous. Mhera could have gone to my house and killed them easily - they were not deadly."

Mhera stepped forward.

"Overlord, I did try to kill Sky multiple times-in Nerf wars. That's the point of the game, to shoot the person with a dart and say you've killed them. She did the exact same thing to me too. I always played safely and by the rules and never endangered her or any of her friends and family. However, she eventually tired of playing the game. Instead of telling me she didn't want to play anymore (I would have stopped asking her to play if she'd said something) she got all worked up about how I wanted to kill her (again, I did, but only in a friendly Nerf war competition) and bought that completely unnecessary army of ninja cats. Obviously we worked it out over the years, as no one asks someone they think is trying to kill them to dispose of their body guards, but still. I'm a little surprised she warped that story so much.

I called her a crazy cat lady because 1) she is crazy (in a good way), 2) she owns a lot of cats, and 3) she is a lady. Nowhere in that definition is the reason for having so many cats taken into account; it was a fitting description of Sky, and every time I'd call her that she took no offense. She even has the phrase as part of her answering machine. Here, I'll play it for you."

Mhera took out her phone and called her colleague, asking her not to pick up. After a number of rings, a cheerful voice all recognized as Sky's came over the speakers: "Hey, this is Skyblade the crazy cat lady! Sorry I can't come to the phone right now, I'm probably hanging out with my feline friends. You can leave a message after the beep!"

Mhera resumed speaking. "I have no idea why she is so offended now when she seemed so fine with the description then. Sure, some used it as an insult, but never me.

Sir, I suppose that Everyone does know that Deathnotes are illegal and on the list Sky mentioned; you see, Everyone is the name of the cat she talks to the most. I didn't know those things when I bought the note; however, I suspected them and asked Jukka if it was legal. She said it was, and not to let anyone tell me differently, which is why I didn't listen to Sky when she did indeed tell me differently.

As for the teleporter, I set it down for a moment to tie my shoes, and when I looked up it was gone. I suspect Izeroth stole it. I can't use what I don't have, and so had to figure out another way to put down Sky's cats.

When Sky tried to get me to put the cats down later, even saying that we were in danger, I figured she was just desperately trying to save the cats for another day. I know it's hard for a pet owner to know their cats are about to get put down, but putting it off sometimes only makes it worse. That's why I said I didn't care if I got in trouble; I would get in any amount of trouble for a friend, which is what I was prepared to do for Sky.

As Jukka said, Izeroth is a magician. He must have used magic to read the note in my pocket, as I never let him or anyone see it.

Finally, I did know that Izeroth was doing with the names; however, I didn't recognize that he was using the names on the list as he was butchering the pronunciation of each one (with Deathnotes, only the spelling matters). I figured he was just pulling a harmless prank."

While the evidence seems to mount against me, I'll make it very clear that none of this is my fault. First of all, when I suggested we could get the money from robbing innocent civilians, I was joking. I never imagined my associates would take the suggestion literally.

Earlier, Mhera had given me a briefcase containing a "super-secret plan" and told me to execute it on the next mission. I was confused and annoyed by Mhera's secrecy, but she insisted that it would all make sense in the end. The plan, which was incredibly elaborate, involved getting the deathnote, staging a psuedo-robbery, smashing a car through the store window, and pretending to be a rabid criminal. Naturally, I was worried all this would damage my reputation, but Mhera insisted that it would all be "cleared up" once the plan had been executed. I executed the plan, and you can see the result.

As for the little name changing incident, I did that because I knew that most of the people in the store (including the manager) were sorcerers (with special sorcerer names, of course), and, on the Summer Solstice (which happened to be the following day) their special sorcerer names would activate an ancient and powerful evil curse (I won't go into details, but it's scary stuff, trust me). I knew that they'd only be able to do it with magical names, and thus I forced them all to switch.

And, finally, about the whole "killing-people-with-deathnotes" thing... I was doing that to get rid of the evil sorcerors, who had uncovered my clever name-changing tricks and were about to strike me with magic. I never tried to forge Mhera's handwriting: it must have just looked that way.

Sir, I gave Izeroth the briefcase because Jukka had asked me to give it to him; she also told me tell him it contained a super-secret plan he needed to follow on the next mission that would all make sense in the end. I had no idea what was in the briefcase or what the plan was about.

Firstly, the reason I said that the Deathnote is completely legal is because it is legal.  I have a very good smartphone that always gives me the latest international news, and by the time Mhera showed up with a Deathnote, I had seen that the U.N. had just ratified a new law that made Deathnotes completely legal and furthermore stated that they were perfectly safe for use by responsible people.  (But the news article also warned that the small number of Deathnotes that were made in China might not work correctly and could just render the people unconscious instead.)  Anyway, I told Mhera that they were legal.

Secondly, I gave Mhera the briefcase and asked her to give it to Izzy because that morning soon after the Apple store opened for the day, a man with dark sunglasses and a black suit showed up and handed me the briefcase, telling me to give it to Mhera and tell her to give it to Izzy.  He said it had a super-secret plan in it for Izzy to follow on the next mission.

"Who are you?" I inquired.

"I'm one of Overlord Soren's bodyguards," he replied.

"How do I know you're not just some guy posing as the Overlord's bodyguard?"

In answer, he pulled out a very official-looking badge that said his name was "John Smith" and that he had become your bodyguard in April 2015.  With such irrefutable evidence staring me down, I thanked him for the briefcase and followed his instructions.

"Now that Mhera clarifies some details, things are starting to make more sense. Sir Soren, I need to tell you more about my story.

She and I were playing a Nerf gun war. However, I truly thought she was planning to literally kill me. You see, sir, Izeroth took one of Mhera's Nerf guns and walked up to me mid-game.

"What are you doing?" I queried.

"Sky, Mhera is planning to kill you," he told me solemnly.

"Of course she is," I said, grinning, "She's going to kill me in the Nerf gun game. It's not real."

"No, Skyblade! She really is aiming to kill you. I assure you this is true."

"I doubt it, Iz," I said prudently. "I don't think she would do that to me."

Izeroth started to get angry then, and he said fervently, "You don't believe me? Let me prove it." He lifted one of Mhera's bona fide Nerf guns she had been using and pointed it at a random person. He shot it before I could stop him, and the person dropped dead.

I gasped, horrified. Before I could stop him, Izeroth rapidly fired at other people and killed them too.

"See? She wants to kill you for real with this gun. She even told me."

Not until years later did I find out that Izeroth had lied and deceived me somehow. He must have used his magician skills to kill those people using Mhera's gun even though originally the toy had been benign and harmless as she had meant it.

My dad found out and said I should stay in my house and get ninja cats to protect me. So, I did. Every time I thought the coast was clear, I would get a call.

Mhera's voice, pitch-perfect, through the phone: I'm coming to kill you right now - literally kill you. I have my poison Nerf guns and an evil heart.

Anyone who receives a call like that has reason to be careful.

Anyway, things make a lot more sense now that Mhera admits that she didn't want to kill me. I didn't know at that time, but somebody had imitated her voice perfectly through the phone. The only two people in the universe who can imitate a voice like that are Izeroth (because he's a magician) and Jukka (because Izeroth taught her ten years ago). So it must have been one or maybe both of them who called me and deceived me.

Now, I can see why Izeroth had to change the employees' names if there was a special sorcerer Summer Solstice thing going on which I don't know about. However, did he really have to change the names to the exact ones in the Deathnote? He must have seen the names somehow and made the people in their change their names deliberately. It couldn't have been a coincidence that he made those people change their names to the exact ones in the Deathnote. He knew the consequences, so I don't know why he was doing that. The manager and many of the people he made change their names are not even evil sorcerers, only a few of the people were. They were good and morally righteous sorcerers and shouldn't have been killed.

Also, just to make it clear, I had nothing to do with the briefcase the others are talking about. I have no idea what they're talking about."

 I told Sky that Mhera was planning to kill her because, earlier that day, Mhera had informed me of her intent to do just that. When I inquired how she planned to do this, she told me she was going to enchant her gun with a killing spell. I volunteered to enchant my own gun and help her (I was planning to secretly warn Skyblade about it and thwart Mhera's plan), and Mhera gladly accepted.

Anyway, about midway through the nerf battle, Mhera flashed me a vicious smile. I assumed that this meant she was going to execute the plan. I ran to Sky to tell her of the plot. As I was trying to explain the imminent danger, I noticed several robed fellows looking at me. Judging by the markings on their robes, I discerned that they were assassins sent to kill me by the Viceroy of Raga-Dol(It's a long story). Seeing a convenient opportunity for demonstration, I blasted the would-be assassins with one of the magical guns. Afterwards, I explained that the people I had blasted were evil, but I don't think Skyblade even listened to me. I would later find out that Mhera had been joking about killing Skyblade the whole time, but that she thought my little magic-death trick was "hilarious".

As for the deathnotes, I had good reason to believe that everyone I killed was evil. All the sorcerers (including the manager) were convicted of murder by the Sorcery Summit of 1912. (I believe they helped sink a ship, or something), and several of the sorcerers had tried to kill me in the past. If the manager and the others were really "good and morally righteous", the judges who convicted them have some explaining to do.

I was not responsible for the phone call; it must have been Jukka.

Sir, I'm no sorcerer, and I had no idea at the time that Iz was one either. I did know, however, that he was interested in magic, and since he was looking bored and lonely on one of the days Sky and I were playing I decided to try and interest him in Nerf wars. The first time I asked if he wanted to play he looked really shy and said no, so I brought up magic to see if that could draw him out of his shell. It seemed to work as he joined the game after I mentioned killing spells. He started going on and on about choosing which killing enchantment he would use, which I thought that was kind of strange, but didn't say so as I didn't think he was actually capable of it. I was just happy he finally seemed to be enjoying himself. When he later told me about how he killed a bunch of evil sorcerers with his Nerf gun and a spell (I wasn't present when he did the deed) he looked so pleased with himself I just laughed and tried to humor him, figuring his imagination had got the better of him that day. So you see sir, I had no knowledge of the misunderstanding that was between Iz and I.

As for the vicious smile, that was actually normal for me at the time. That game took place before I had braces; all my smiles looked vicious back then. I was grinning because I was enjoying myself, not to signal Sky's doom to Iz.

 Mhera failed to include several key details; allow me to explain:

I may have appeared to be "bored and lonely," but I was actually writing an important letter to a friend of mine. The first time Mhera asked me, I simply said no in a quiet, disinterested voice. After that, she began constantly pestering me, urging me to participate and even trying to lure me in with the promise of killing magic. I finally gave in and decided to play the game, if only to stop Mhera's annoying comments.

In a "briefing" before the game, Mhera told me that she planned to kill Skyblade. She said this with the utmost seriousness, so I could only assume she was being literal. I decided to act really dedicated to sorcery so she wouldn't question my loyalty (she had stated earlier, very clearly, that traitory would not go unpunished)

"I had nothing to do with whatever Izeroth and Mhera are talking about regarding killing me. I didn't do anything to provoke them to do what they did, either. All I know is that Iz told me Mhera was planning to kill me.

Oh, and when Izeroth explained that he was killing evil people with the Nerf gun, I didn't catch what he said. You see, this is exactly how he told me:

"So, I just shot and killed those people andbythewaythey'reevil."

"What did you say?" I asked, because he finished the sentence in half a second. "I didn't hear that last part."

But we were interrupted by the police coming to see what was going on. Therefore, I didn't know that detail until now."

I didn't see Iz writing the letter, and I didn't know I was annoying him. I just figured he was being shy.

And about the briefing... given the context in which I said we were going to kill Sky I didn't realize I needed to clarify that I was being figurative; it seemed obvious that I didn't really mean it given we were talking about Nerf wars.

I was being serious because in a previous match Sky informed I sound like a psychopath when I talk too lightheartedly about killing people, even if it is only in the context of a game.

Also, since we were on the same team, if he betrayed me Iz would be severely handicapped in his ability to win the game; the possibility of losing is the punishment for betrayal I was talking about.

"She did sound like a psychopath. However, I told her to be more serious only when she was talking to me. I told her she didn't have to be more serious when she talked to others. The most important thing, I said, is that they clearly got the correct message she wanted to get across as to prevent confusion."

Contrary to what Izzy said, I was not the one who made the phone call.  You see, over the past few years, I've been teaching my eight-year-old niece, Esmeralda (who was adopted by myself and my husband, Matt Damon) how to imitate voices.  She has a wicked sense of humor, and she knows who Mhera and Skye are, as they've visited us once or twice.  Therefore, I think it must have been my dear little Esme who made the call.  It wouldn't be the first time she's pranked someone.

OOC: Claimed post

IC: Sir, I want to justify my getting the ninja cats - just to make things clear. You see, I was completely unaware of any conversations between Mhera and Izeroth. All I knew was that Mhera was planning to kill me and had the proper weaponry to do so (as I found out way later, I was deceived). My father, upon hearing that somebody was trying to kill me, freaked out. And for good reason, I must say. He commanded me to get the ninja cats to protect myself, highly recommending them. Since he was making a legal suggestion and is a moral person, it was fine. And as I am his daughter and he is my parent, I was obliged to obey anyway.

What happened at the Apple Store was not my fault, but the result of things that occurred among your other servants.

Also, I want to point out sonethingg regarding what Izeroth said. He claimed that every worker in the store, including the manager, is evil. Maybe a few of them were, but I know the manager and the great majority of them are not. Yes, they murdered people and helped sink a ship, but I think Izeroth missed some crucial details. The people they murdered were actually toy figurines, and the ship they sunk was a toy boat. Sir Soren, as it turns out, they entered a toy boat racing competition a few years back. However, they got disqualified by the judges (who were from the Sorcery Summit of whatever year it was) for accidentally killing the toy people they were supposed to carry safely across the basin. It was a blunder on their part, but nothing illegal or malicious. In fact, it was even confirmed by the real USA government that the manager is a honorary hero of the country (in a good way, of course).

Also, let's use some logic here. Why would you, Overlord Soren, send us to work at an Apple Store where the manager and all his employees were evil? You are far better than to make that mistake. That isn't at all something you would do, sir, and I know it. So, we can safely say that Izeroth's decision to ask the workers to change their names culminated in the deaths of innocent Apple workers.

Again, I had nothing to do with what Izeroth did.

Sir, as Sky said the most important thing was that my meaning came across clearly; when she told me to only be serious with her Iz had not yet come into the picture. When I first approached him he seemed like the kind who appreciated seriousness more than humor, so I took the same tone with him as I did with Sky believing it would be the best shot at clearly conveying my intentions to Iz. Apparently I misjudged, sir, but I'm confident anyone would have made the same mistake if they had seen how deadpan Iz was being.

 I don't understand why Mhera is blaming me for misinterpreting her words. Earlier, after a different ill-dated prank, she had even told me that I would know when she was joking in the future.

Skyblade is correct in saying that the sorcerers sunk ships and drowned toy people. She fails to mention, however, that these were voodoo people. This means that, as the toy ship sank, a real ship sank. I don't know if the manager was aware that these objects were voodoo enchanted, and the act of destroying the ship in of itself was not malicious, but the manager nevertheless caused mass-destruction. As far as being "confirmed" to be good and righteous, I heard he bribed government officials to say that.

The reason we were sent to that Apple Store, as you must know, is that it was rated Apple Store of the year. However, these findings were later revealed to be falsified, as you also must know. Surely, you also remember how Skyblade pestered you to go to that particular store, and insisted that it was a wonderful establishment?

OOC: Hey Iz, clever response. This is so much fun! :D

IC:

"Sir Soren, I must inform you that the first time I ever knew about the voodoo thing or the apparent bribe of the government officials is when Izeroth himself said so just a few moments ago. Until then, I was left in the dark and all the information I had (which seemed credible), pointed to the Apple Store being a good place. Iz, Mhera, and Jukka were actually present at the boat race and knew all about the voodoo and bribery, but I didn't know a thing (actually, the three of them had gone to the boat race against your orders, taking a break when they were supposed to be running an errand for you that I ended up having to complete myself). I really thought that store was store of the year and it was declared falsified way later.

I recommended the store to you, sir, on the word of Jukka and Mhera, who insisted that all the workers there were of good heart. No double meanings, jokes, or opposites. They told me the workers and store were good and I should ask you if we could go there for a mission. I don't know why."

You see, sir, I recommended the Apple store to Skye for two reasons:  1) Since we were supposed to buy you something from Apple, we might as well get a job there as well.  2) My cousin, Harrison, had worked at the Apple store for several years before retiring, and he was always singing its praises, saying that the people there were wondrously friendly and kindhearted.  I had no reason to disbelieve him.

Sir, I'm not blaming Izeroth for my misunderstanding. I'm just saying his general demeanor makes it impossible to hold me responsible for it. Also, Iz failed to clarify that an "I'll-dated prank" (the kind he said I had pulled on him sometime before the Nerf wars briefing incident) involves telling people that they'll know when you're joking in the future. However, I very clearly told him an hour after I pulled it that what I had said was an I'll-dated prank. He said he understood the prank and thought it was funny (in his serious sort of way). Since I have not pulled the prank again on him and he made very clear that he understood I wasn't serious when I said he'd know when I was joking in the future, I'm not sure how he can still claim to have been under this deception.

I was merely going off of Jukka's suggestion regarding employment at the Apple Store.

It was Izeroth's suggestion we go to watch the boats against your orders. Sky said we all looked tired and like we could use a break, and then offered to run the errand herself. I disagreed, but the other three were on board with her plan; outnumbered, I reluctantly went with Iz and Jukka while Sky willingly started the chore. I'm not sure why she's accusing me of disobeying you when she supported the idea.

Finally, Jukka told me the voodoo and bribery thing was a storyline the race's directors had made up to generate interest the same way pro wrestling does. I didn't see anything indicating otherwise so I believed her.

OOC: CLAIMED POST!!! Soren, I'll try to stop this soon (I feel I need to defend myself a little more)

IC: "Sir, out of the goodness in my heart, I offered to do the errand for us all. The others did seem incredibly tired and unable to do the task, so I did it for them - legally and perfectly correctly, I might add. Should I be punished for being kind? The choice is always yours, sir, but to me it seems unfair.

Anyway, I had nothing to do with the decision to go to the boat race. I didn't know the three of them were going to go there. I told them all to take a break in their rooms and rest up properly on their beds. They were in their rooms; they must have left after I left to run the errand for you.

Another thing I ought to add is that there were three main reasons we got kicked out of the store and our jobs. 1) The Deathnote thing, 2) The thieving, and 3) The ineptitude of your other servants in doing their jobs. Mhera mentioned that I was the only one properly trained for my job. Indeed she is right, but she fails to mention that that was the fault of her and the other servants.

We were all supposed to go to a training. Each of us had the same time but different locations in the same store. I went to the training and was properly, well, trained. Therefore, I did my job perfectly. The other three however, didn't show up even though they knew about it, were perfectly capable, and weren't busy. The training was a legal one, too...nothing wrong with it whatsoever (for all three of us).

I made 90% of the money during our job (legally and morally, of course), because I was skilled and the others weren't. In fact, I had gathered almost enough money to buy what you needed, but then everything flew into chaos as outlined earlier.

Sir, I remain loyal."

Quote from: SkyThe training was a legal one, too...nothing wrong with it whatsoever (for all three of us).

Sky's "three of us" refers to her, Jukka, and Izeroth, and excludes me. My training actually was illegal; hence I did not attend it even though I knew about it, wasn't busy, and was perfectly capable of going.

As I said earlier, I only took one break (and even then only for Sky's sake) and worked my hardest the whole time. It's not my fault I got paid barely anything for my efforts, sir.

OOC: Unless Iz or Jukka suddenly comes on, this will be my last post.

IC: "I suggested we all take a break because that was the rule of the store. We would be fired if we didn't. Mhera made a good justification for missing her training though, and I acknowledge that."

OOC: Same. I should probably mention the break I was referring to was the one I took to kill the cats/sorcerers.

BIC: Sir, it was during the mandatory break I went to dispose of Sky's cats; as you can see, I was working hard to achieve the most efficient use of your time.

 Mhera told me that the prank was "ill-dated" at 12:00 PM, when I was in a sleep-deprived state. Desperately trying to finish yet another letter, I told her that I "completely understood" to get her to stop pestering me.

Somehow, Jukka had teleported myself, herself and Mhera back in time to 1912. Knowing that the race happened to occur in 1912, and figuring that it would take a while to teleport us back to the present era anyway, I decided to go to the race and stop it. I would've prevented the race and saved the ship, too, but Mhera held me back. She claimed that "the race must go on," and informed me that "people's lives don't really matter."

OOC: Claimed post!


The reason I said that the voodoo thing was just a story made to generate interest was becuase I honestly believed it was.  A mainstream news source had said so, and as we all know, the media doesn't lie.  In addition to this, the race was sponsored by several state governors, who were all nice and moral people.

I did not attend my job training because even if it was completely moral/ethical/legal/etc., I recognized the guy teaching as a convicted convict who had been released from prison three months before.  And people said he was still somewhat evil.  I didn't want to join that class, obviously!

Sir, Iz is a very good liar, so I didn't know he wasn't telling the truth when he said he understood. I also didn't notice he was tired since I told him about the prank in the middle of the day (12:00 P.M.), when most folks are wide awake. I didn't realize he was writing a letter because I told him over the phone and couldn't see what he was doing.

As for holding Iz back, sir, remember I was working under the impression that race and the sinking ship was part of a storyline. I figured Iz was trying to ruin the show for some unknown reason, so I told him that the ship must go down because that was part of the show. If things didn't go as scheduled, I was afraid the crowd might be upset and ruin the boat race's popularity. That would cause spectators to not buy any tickets to other shows, which mean the folks in the race wouldn't get paid nearly as much, which could possibly ruin their livelihoods and cause them to not have enough income to feed their families, meaning their children might starve to death. So I told Iz, "The race must go on. Do you think people's lives don't really matter?" I was holding him back for the children, sir.

 It may have been the middle of the day to Mhera, but, since we were running on Viruvian Time in the section of the spaceport where I was currently living, everybody went to sleep at 12:00 PM. Mhera, in her cultural ignorance, must have forgotten this key fact.

Considering that the folks in the race were all richly-clad sorcerers, I'm surprised Mhera was very concerned about their children's welfare. The guys probably could have even summoned food if they really needed it.

It's worth noting that, during the events of the race, Jukka was running around yelling something in German. I don't know what she said, but some of the German and Swiss sorcerers looked really offended.

OOC: Sorry, I have to post to defend myself.
BIC:

I teleported us to 1912 because I'd just acquired a new and fast-acting time machine, which I thought would be fun and educational to use.

I was yelling, "I love speaking German!" in German.  At least, I thought I was.  My cousin Harrison taught me a few phrases in German... I realize now that he must've been a little rusty....

OOC: Gotta defend... Iz, I'm trying to respond in a way that doesn't require you to answer.

BIC: Sir, Iz wore a special pair of goggles the whole trip, which afterwards he explained were sorcerer's goggles. They allow the wearer to identify other sorcerers by revealing their robes, which are concealed by magic to hide their presence in normal, everyday situations. They looked quite comfortable, so Iz must have forgotten he was wearing them during the race. While he saw richly-clad fellow sorcerers, I saw normally dressed citizens.

And sir, I ask your forgiveness for not knowing what time zone a section of an obscure spaceport that literally no one in the universe except Izeroth uses is on.

OOC: I've read all the responses. Check back in a few hours for my judgment.
Man, you guys know how to dish out some novels.... ;D

"SILENCE!!!" Exclaimed the Overlord. "You have all failed me! But one in particular deserves special treatment..."
All of the sudden, Izeroth disappeared and materialized in a hallway. He wasn't sure weather to turn left or right. He chose, and then was faced with another turn. He soon realized he was in a maze. And unbeknownst to him, the maze had no exit.
"He will provide mild entertainment for me." Said the Overlord.
He turned to the others.
"Now. I said you all failed me, and as punishment, you all will be sent to the vibranium mines in Wakanda. Maybe a little hard work will shape you into respectable servents. You will follow to directions of the man in charge, and work hard."

One month later....

"Why am I not surprised? I send you to work for a month, and what happens? You burn down the mine, blow up a building, hack a small satellite called Veronica, and somehow became recognized as local heroes? Explain the meaning of this!"

Your wish is my command, oh Overlord. I shall explain.

Upon our arrival at the mine we were each assigned our jobs; Sky was to work at the TV station the vibranium mine hosted, and Jukka and I were both with the demolition crew. We partially separated for training immediately afterwards, as it was several weeks from the time of our assignments to the time we saw Sky again. Jukka and I went through training for our demolition jobs together, however.

Now sir, Jukka is not good with explosives. In fact, the instructor failed her three days in a row because her go-to demolition method was pouring gasoline on random stuff and lighting it on fire. Not only was this an ineffective method to use on the mine's rock, it destroys vibranium and poses a fire hazard to the wooden struts supporting the mine. (It's worth noting here that for some reason the demolition students were not allowed to interact with each other at all regarding training.) On the fourth day, the exasperated instructor, tired of trying to get Jukka to learn her job properly, passed her. He then told me to keep her away from explosives while we were employed at the mine. For the next block of days everything was smooth sailing; I blew stuff up and Jukka helped whenever she could safely do so. Over halfway through our month, though, I was startled during our lunch break to see the football game that was on TV flicker out to reveal Sky on screen.

She was standing in a room I would later recognize as the vibranium mine's network's studio looking quite smug as she posed in front of a green screen displaying the words "Your New Overlady Skyblade the Magnificent." Pompous instrumental music was playing in the background as she began to address her audience:

"Good day everyone! I am Skyblade, your new Overlord. Or would that be Overlady? Eh, doesn't matter. I control the world either way. Before I further my address, I would like to make clear the servant of the previous Overlord Soren (whom I have overthrown) named Mhera who is currently working in the vibranium mine and whom does not share her name with anything or anyone else in the universe (past, present, or future) has nothing to do with what I am doing or have done since beginning my work here at the mines-"

She never made it further. Security tackled her (it was a neat tackle and actually placated the angry football fans who where angry about missing some of the game) and shortly afterwards I was called up to the Personal Relations office and told I was to trade jobs with Sky.

You see, sir, Sky had apparently hacked the satellite Veronica that, while small, is actually the main satellite for ESPN. By hacking it she was able to reach millions with her message, which I did indeed have absolutely nothing to do with.

A week later, after Sky and I had both undergone our retraining and begun our new occupations, I noticed smoke rising from the general direction of the mine (the station's studio is-or rather was- located a good distance from the mine). The news crew bolted out the door and I followed (part of my job was to help carry their equipment). Upon arrival I saw that the whole mine was ablaze, burning to the ground. Jukka was watching the inferno from a rocky outcrop, and I went to join her and see if she knew what had started the fire. She explained that it was all her fault, as she had volunteered to blow a section of the mine even though she knew her limits. The blaze was a direct result of her methods and in no way accomplished anything productive.

Immediately after she had confessed this there was an ear-shattering boom. I spun around and caught sight of a mushroom cloud rising from the station building the camera crew and I were just in. I also noticed for the first time that Sky was right beside me, looking entranced at the building's explosion with detonator in hand. She was murmuring something about how beautiful it was and how she had blown it up.

I was horrified. "Sky, Jukka, there's innocent people in the mine and building! We need to save them!" The three of us snapped into action then and saved everyone from the various fires, which is how we earned "local hero" status.

OOC: Yay, I made it :D This is exactly 750 words, not including OOC.

BIC: "Sir Soren, Mhera's perspective alone will not give you an accurate story.

I was indeed assigned to the mine's TV station. As you ordered, I meticulously followed the directions of the man in charge. As a result, I performed my job so well that the other workers genuinely and voluntarily lauded me for reviving their once-unproductive TV station. They explained that most of their revenue came from the TV station, and that I was a boon for their business and well-being.

"We're going to give the Overlord Soren a wonderful report of you, Skyblade," the main in charge told me proudly. "You will also be known forever in our mine as a hero worker."

Just to clarify, sir, unlike the Apple store, the mine and its TV station in their entirety comprised a thoroughly good and lawful establishment and none of the workers there were evil.

Jukka and Mhera were in completely different jobs and didn't seem to be doing anything too destructive. About halfway through the month, I was startled when the man in charge rushed up to me, his face livid and soaked with tears.

"Jukka," he cried, "Murdered the host of our special TV segment! The poor host! And how will we go on with our show?"

He broke down in front of me - a painful sight. I soothed him and asked for clarifications, as I had nothing to do with the murder.

The TV station made a good chunk of money off a special TV segment that always popped up in the middle of an ESPN football game. Called Outrageous things that will never, ever happen, it was adored by the world for its humor and well, outrageousness. Somehow, Jukka had killed the host of that segment on purpose (an innocent man who had done nothing wrong). The man in charge needed a replacement in ten minutes or the segment would be canceled for the first time in 50 years, fans would surely protest, and the mine would suffer.

Wanting to be kind, I offered to take the host's job until they found a permanent replacement. Some workers were also having trouble hacking a satellite called Veronica. It was tradition of the mine to hack a satellite before every show. I helped them and went up to do the show.

Now, what was the first thing that came to my head? The one thing I would never do? Overthrow you, of course! I  though it would be perfect for a show titled Outrageous things that will never, ever happen. Sir Soren, you know I didn't mean anything I said on that TV segment. It was only for the purpose of acting and saving the mine you told us to work in.

It was actually part of the show's script for security guards to tackle me mid-sentence. About 0.05% of the football fans were mad for no reason, but the other 99.95% loved it. I had saved the mines again.

The reason I had to switch jobs with Mhera is that, as I discovered after the mission, she had been surreptitiously killing off a worker one by one each day on purpose. I had nothing to do with this. Maybe Jukka did? This got so debilitating that the man in charge switched our jobs hoping it would improve everything. So, that resulted not from my actions but hers.

I had nothing to do with Jukka's burning the mines. I was simply hard at productive work.

I didn't talk to Mhera, but I received a note that had clearly been written by her. It said, no more, no less:

Dear Skyblade,
Attached is a button that creates harmless fireworks. Please push it to create a beautiful sight for everyone in the mines. It doesn't matter when, where, how, why, or anything else specific. Just do it soon, and do it when I'm not in the building so I can see it!
And this isn't a joke, opposite, or anything like that. It's straightforward. Just do as I say.
- Mhera

Attached was an unlabeled button that seemed like a normal kids' toy. But when I pressed it, turned out to blow up the TV station building. So shocked was I by this - the last thing I expected to happen - that I cried, "I blew up a building! How could this happen? Mhera, you lied. This isn't beautiful."

Mhera replied that she was horrified because she had expected the explosion to be larger and more destructive."

Jukka stepped forward, looking a little shocked at the accusations against her.

"Overlord, despite what my companions have said concerning me, none of it was my fault.  Sky says a guy ran in yelling that Jukka had just killed the host of Outrageous Things That Will Never, Ever Happen, but the guy never mentioned that person's gender.

"You see, there's a Finnish guy who works in the vibranium mines.  He's very polite and personable.  But he has a cousin who sometimes visits the mines and is his polar opposite.  You guessed it - this Finnish cousin is named Jukka.  (Yes, Jukka is actually a Finnish name.)  Since I had absolutely nothing to do with that murder (it's against my morals, generally), obviously it was Jukka the Finn who killed the poor guy.  I also had nothing to do with anyone else's murder.

"Also, it was not my fault that I blew things up with matches and gasoline.  The instructor, though non-evil (as Sky mentioned that everyone at the mine was), was a woman named Bedelia who was rather ugly and, I realize now, must have been envious of my ravishing beauty and natural charm.  Her jealousy got the better of her (as it will the best of people), and she set out to fail me.  First, Bedelia gave me a book she said told one everything one needed to know about blowing things up.  As I had no experience or reason to disbelieve her, I read the book and got started.

"After a few days, Bedelia decided to let me pass, probably hoping to get me fired by my unfortunate ineptness.  Several days afterward, she asked for volunteers to blow up a large thing in a practice run (or so she said).  I knew my limits, so I didn't raise my hand.  However, Bedelia picked me anyway out of sheer malice.  I went and blew the thing up, feeling nervous the whole time.  Much to my shock and horror, I saw that I'd blown up the whole mine.  I sat there, so stunned I couldn't move, couldn't think, couldn't do anything.  At that moment Mhera came up with some of the TV crew.  Still in shock, I said, "I 'volunteered' to do this, even though I knew my limits."  I made large air quotes as I said the word 'volunteered', so my intent was evident.  But Mhera must not have realized this.  I also never said that I volunteered to blow a section of the mine.  All I said was the word 'this' to indicate the destruction.  After a mushroom cloud suddenly appeared, I, Mhera, and Sky raced to save everyone and became local heroes.

"All in all, during this mission I was nothing if not loyal to you, Sir Soren.  I was loyal also to the vibranium mine, its workers, and my companions.  I did nothing wrong."

Sir, Sky is correct in saying that she had nothing to do with my killing other workers; however,  it seems she had everything to do with the hypodermic needles filled with poison she sent me with explicit instructions to inject one worker per day with (who's names she provided), saying it was a harmless flu vaccine (I've never had a flu vaccine, sir, let alone seen a hypodermic needle before, so this all seemed legit to me). The note with the instructions and names was definitely written by her, and I'd show it to you for evidence except that she had written a post script at the very bottom telling me to burn the note after I'd read and memorized the names. It's worth mentioning, sir, that this note and the one I sent her (which I'll explain below) were the only notes she and I sent each other.

The workers I was to inject were all people I rarely saw, and so I didn't notice their absence later after the poison within the needles took effect and killed them. As you can see, sir, I had no idea the harm I was causing by following Sky's instructions. When the PR department called me up to their office to take Sky's job the only explanation they gave me was because of Sky's work on the TV segment (I was never told that it was because I was killing people, sir); I'm guessing that they had somehow gotten wind that Sky had sent me the poison needles, and that if they incriminated me then her involvement would surely be found out; considering that the public loved her work in the segment (something I was unaware of until she said so just now) her downfall could have had major repercussions on the network. Rather than risk another huge scandal following the one already caused by Jukka the Finn, they just switched Sky and my' jobs so I would no longer be harming others and the whole affair could get swept under the rug.

Regarding the note and button I had sent Sky, sir, that was about some fireworks I had set up on top of the media building (in a perfectly safe, legal manner) to celebrate your rule. Unfortunately I realized too late that Jukka (the Sling, not the Finn) must have  stuck the fireworks in the basement, as that's the only way the building-leveling explosion that occurred could have been possible. At first, though, I didn't realize that the fireworks' location had been changed and thought the explosion was horribly inadequate for celebrating one as great as yourself, oh Overlord, which explains my comments to Sky. I then realized the lackluster reaction was because the fireworks were in the building, which contained the blast (and thus amplified it's destruction to the inside of the building without immediately showing damage on the outside).

"Oh Overlord, I was not intending any harm by moving the fireworks to the basement.  You see, that very day the vibranium mine had just changed its policy on firework storage, saying that fireworks must always be kept in the basement and only taken outside under armed guard.  I happened to have to go up to the roof for something, and I immediately spotted the fireworks.  Not wanting anyone to get in trouble, I quickly dismantled the firing mechanism (or so I thought - I guess I'm not that great with fireworks) and took them downstairs.  On my way down, I passed a guard who asked me what I was doing.  I said, "I found these fireworks on the roof; someone must have put them up there in preparation for a display before the fireworks policy was changed an hour ago.  Don't worry, I dismantled them so they won't go off when whoever-did-it hits the button."  The guard, who had gotten his Ph.D. in fireworks inspection, examined my dismantling and found it faultless.  He literally said, "I find your dismantling of these fireworks faultless."  After this, I continued down to the basement and placed the fireworks in a safe and out-of-the-way area."

OOC: (Under the word count)

IC: "Sir, just to clarify, I had absolutely nothing to do with the fireworks. I didn't even know about twhat was going on until now.

This year, we were having an especially bad outbreak of flu. It was so deadly that workers were dying from it.

This flu is all Mhera and Jukka's fault. They released bugs that started and caused this whole epidemic. I had nothing to do with this - I only heard it from the man in charge.

The workers were vaccinated, but unfortunately, the flu vaccine didn't work on everybody. Some of the workers in the mines were superhumans (it helped them with their job). Despite their great strength, they were still susceptible to the illness and the normal flu vaccine didn't work on them. Thus, they needed to be injected with a special but stil harmless flu vaccine.

The man in charge himself told me to write a note to Mhera asking to inject workers. I thought it odd that he wanted her to inject one each day, and that she had been chosen for this task when she didn't know about flu vaccines. The man in charge said the other workers were too busy to deal with it, and that people had to be vaccinated one day at a time because there was a 24-hour recharge time for the magic needle. So I got the vaccination, did absolutely nothing to it, and sent the note to Mhera with perfectly clear and accurate instruccions reagrding how to use it. It was perfectly fine and not poisonous at all the last time I handled it before I sent it to Mhera's workplace (and I sent it the way the man in charge told me to, also). I was just following the man in charge's instructions.

I don't know how the needles got turned to poison. The only person in the whole mine who has the ability to change harmless substances into poison is Jukka (not the Flinn, the servant Jukka the Sling). She must have done it sometime the note was being sent in between me and Mhera. I didn't know anything about this and never saw Jukka.

I know why Mhera was told she was switching jobs with me because of the TV. The man in charge told me that I had been so good that it would be unfair for the other workers if I stayed in that job.

About the TV, I want to clarify that everyone who watched it knew I wasn't actually ovethrowing you; I was acting so I could save the mine you told us to work at. I even provided a disclaimer in the show that said this, verbatim:

"Everyone, this is Skyblade, and I want to make it very clear that I am not really overthrowing my Overlord Soren. I respect and honor him and want to do all I can to follow his orders. I am pretending to overthrow him because it's perfect for a show called OUTRAGEOUS Things that WILL NEVER, EVER HAPPEN. I would never, ever overthrow him or try to do anything wrong to him. By featuring this on the show, I am emphasizing how much I care for my Overlord and how unlikely, stupid, and ridiculous it would be to actualy do this in real life. This is only for the purpose of this show. Thank you for your attention."

This preview happened before the TV segment started and Mhera must have missed it.

Also, please keep in mind what I did for you during this mission, sir. Mhera and Jukka  can't say anything about my performance because they didn't know about what happened the first half of the month. I worked incredibly hard for the mine and listened to the man in charge perfectly, as you ordered us."

Quote from:  Overlord Soren...You will follow to directions of the man in charge, and work hard."

"The workers lauded me and I even saved their economy and the whole place in general. The man in charge even sent a genuine and perfectly fine gift of 1,000,000 dollars and some other useful, perfectly fine goods to you just because I did so well. Of course, sir, my purpose was to bring honor to you and respect you. So please keep in mind all the good I did this mission."

Regarding the flu bug, that was released through air fresheners stationed throughout the mine. Jukka (the Sling, not the Finn) said the place stunk so she handed me a bunch of air fresheners to place throughout the mine. I didn't know it at the time, sir, but the fresheners Jukka had given me dispensed an aerosol flu virus, not the "lavender sheets scent" as Jukka had written on the labels. I was just doing as she said, sir, and had no knowledge of the virus lurking within the canisters that threatened to infect the whole mine.

Sky is correct in saying I missed the disclaimer for the TV segment. I had been working overtime and came in late for lunch.

Sir, I performed my work quite capably; I didn't get the praise Sky did because I also had to make up for Jukka's poor training and thus didn't have the time to go above and beyond in my own job. I did work my hardest and performed extremely well (according to the mine supervisor), the results just didn't manifest themselves in a visible way and so I didn't get lauded as Sky did.

"I do indeed have the ability to change harmless substances into poison.  This has come in handy with assassination attempts on me and my husband.  However, I had nothing to do with changing the vaccine into poison.  You see, as I was going about my duties, the X-Men member Rogue suddenly appeared in front of me.  I was in Mhera's workplace (and the only person there), as Bedelia had sent me in to get something.  Anyway, as everyone knows, Rogue can steal your powers and use them for a short time just by touching you.  She pulled off her glove and pressed her hand to my arm before I could recognize her.  I fainted (as is the normal reaction to Rogue sucking your powers).  Then she grabbed the vaccine off the counter as I collapsed to the floor.  When I awoke, the vaccine was gone and so was Rogue.  I assumed she had stolen it and went and reported this event to Bedelia (who I innocently believed was a nice and kind person).  I'm not sure what she did after that.  And I have no idea what Rogue would get out of killing innocent mine workers, so please don't ask me her reasons.

"And the aerosol flu virus was indeed an aerosol flu virus, and I was fully aware of this.  It was part of the mine clinic's new program to experiment with a new quick and easy vaccination method (and if it didn't work, they'd resort to the old-school method of jabbing people with needles), and as I was on my way to the clinic (where they kept the nitroglycerin, which Bedelia had asked me to get for her), the doctor (who I passed in the hall) asked me to get several aerosol flu virus things he'd set out on the counter.  He explained that it was a weakened virus that would cause no sickness or ill effects but would quickly and easily vaccinate the workers against a serious flu vaccine.  I went and got them as he asked and wrote "lavender sheet scent" on them before giving a few to Mhera to set out.  I did this because she and other mine workers might not understand what was going on and might grow alarmed if they found out it was a flu virus.  And I also told her that the place stunk, and that some air freshener was needed.  This was perfectly true."

"Sir, you may be wondering why I didn't just give the flu vaccine to Mhera personally, but as mentioned the three of is weren't allowed to talk face-to-face. That's why we had to send letters. So I sent the flu vaccine to her via the official mining mail system, which transports items from the TV station to the mines and vice versa. And then the things that Jukka outlined happened once the package arrived in Mhera'a workplace as intended. I just want to make it clear that I had done my job correctly in that regards.

I was just working hard and following the directions of the man in charge."

Your judgment is pending.

"You three servents have caused some serious trouble for my empire. You're all so terrible at completing simple tasks! But I'm obligated to eliminate one of you, the only me who doesn't give the best defense. Unfortunately, I can't eleminate all three of you."
Jukka had been standing, but suddenly was transported to a small tank. It was filled to the brim with gummy sharks. All that the other servents could see was her head. She immediately started choking down on the gummy sharks.
"For eternity, she'll have an endless desire for those things. And an endless supply."

I'll deal with you two shortly.
OOC:
I've got to work out the final tasks.

Edit: Done.


Søren looked at his terrible servents. Two remain. He knew he was retiring soon, to that wonderfully secluded section of the universe. But he had to finish with the two servents.

"Skyblade and Mhera. I've a special set of tasks for you two. First, I will require your assistance with dinner, then one final mission. And afterward, you'll answer a final question."
He blinked and the group were now in a dining hall in an exquisite palace structure, floating in the sky.
"I'm having a very special person over for dinner, for the two of us. I need you to create the optimal meal for a nice, romantic evening for two. Full-course meal, and detailed in what kind of soup, salad, entree, dessert, etc. Spare no expense."

OOC:
So, as you know, the final round is a little different. Basically, this requires you plan a dinner for me and my date, and I'll chose which one is best. Make sure to add detail to just what kind of foods are being served. Add beverages if you like, but that's optional. This is not the final test, but the first aspect. Don't worry, it won't take a week and a half. ;)

The Grand Overlord Søren sat back in his throne. He was tired. Tired of having to deal with the constant bickering. He recalled both of the servants into his presence.
"I've come to a decision. You both are some of the worst servants I've had to deal with. But I can only "retire" one of you."
Sky lads platform disappeared from below her feet. Søren stood up. "I hope she enjoys her new existence. As a water molecule floating around in the sky. She should have plenty f time to think of what went wrong with her missions while she completes the water cycle a few hundred times. "
He turned to the surviving servant, Mhera. "You know, my Overlord before I took over from him, he told me something once. He said I'd have to deal with servants just as bad as me and my team were. So Mhera, the tradition should be passed down." He turned and shot Mhera in the shoulder with a small, metal object. "That is an implant. Don't worry, it won't bleed and the pain won't last long. But rest assured, you'll never be satsified with your servants either. Overlord Mhera."
Søren raised his hand, and a transport arrive immediately. He would live out his eternal days on a secluded planet, with only him and his companions, leaving the universe to the new protege, Overlord Mhera.

Good game everyone! I was thrilled with the turn out for how many people participated this round. I apologize for the times I've shown inadequate of being Overlord, it's harder then you think. ;)
Congratulations Mhera, Skyblade and Jukka for being our top-3 finalists. I'm sorry it took so long to end this round, there were logistical issues. But here's the winning menu, prepared by Mhera:

QuoteOverlord, a five course meal for you and your five star date sounds wonderful, and I'd be honored to cook it. I had in mind a spectacular spread sure to make you salivate, the first course of which should set the desired pleasant tone of the night. An hors d'evours of my specialty soup, organic Crème de la Dümpster Juice, a scrumptious concoction seasoned with kosher salt and served with the diner's choice of either saltine crackers or antacids, would be just the thing. After that a salad of greens, sprigs, and twigs mixed with Plutonian space croutons, sliced celery, and shredded paramecium cheese topped with a sweet dressing tasting faintly of citrus and glory would continue to brighten the night. Appetites wetted, you would then be ready for the main course which of course would be a BLT, complete with thick cut bacon, thinly sliced homegrown tomatoes, and iceberg lettuce fresh from the Arctic topping chewy ciabatta slathered with mayonnaise. Satisfied by the centerpiece of the dinner, you would then be ready for the penultimate menu item, the dessert; a bowl of chocolate syrup garnished with gourmet vanilla ice cream would tame even the wildest sweet tooth. Finally, a finishing flourish consisting of the same kind of cheese Matt Damon uses on his nachos coupled with Ritz crackers will signal the unfortunate end of this most romantic meal under- no, not under, but in- the star-filled evening sky

I'm grateful for the chance to be Overlord, and am honored to present Mhera as the 16th Overlord of Overlord's Orders.

OOC: Thank you everyone, especially Soren, for a great game. You are all fantastic at this, and I hope to see you back in Overlord's Orders XVI.

Also, I will do everything in my power to not be as sleep deprived while running the round as I was when I wrote that menu ;D

Mhera, you notice a lot of the updates I made to OO were at like 1 am? Yeah. Sleep is one thing you will never have again. ;D

Hey, congratulations to everyone, especially Jukka and Mhera. You guys did great. It's remarkable for your first time.

@Sky: Thanks!

Quote from: Soren the Warrior on June 30, 2015, 12:58:17 AM
Mhera, you notice a lot of the updates I made to OO were at like 1 am? Yeah. Sleep is one thing you will never have again. ;D

;-;

Very few things are either all good or all bad ;D