Redwall Abbey

General Boards => The Cellars => Topic started by: Groddil on March 20, 2016, 10:40:12 AM

Title: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Groddil on March 20, 2016, 10:40:12 AM
G'day mates. I'm Groddil Dundee, an' I'll be yer tour guide fer the next couple o' days. If ya feel like goin' on an adventure to 'Straya without 'aving ta leave the comfort a the forum, I'm yer guy. Simply fill out this form an' you're all set t join me, on an AUSSIE ADVENTURE!!! We'll be travellin' across the desert, tryin' not ta get eaten by the wildlife, we'll be campin' out, an' we'll be doin' all other sorts a good things.

What's your name?
Are you a bloke or a sheila?
There'll be beer served aplenty to ya down under, and the legal age is 18. Are ya older than 18?
Are you able to operate any sort a motor vehicle (e.g. Holden Commodore, Tinny, Flying airplane thingy)?
Do ya have insurance?


The guys unlucky enough to sign on fer this:

Groddil Dundee (Tour Guide)
Skarz (Trollman)
LT Sandpaw (CaptainCrud)
Tam (SarcasticPresident)
AimlessGallivanter (ThatPersonwhatWritesLyrics)
Lord Ashenwyte (FreakazoidwhatThinkshe'saGodorSomethin')
Kitsune (Kit Kat)
Lord Daskar (What's)
Banya (Bother)
Ashleg (Ciggie)
Sagetip AKA Mr. Mundy (Mungo Mundy)
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: DanielofRedwall on March 20, 2016, 11:43:13 AM
I'm Australian and I find this offensive. ;)
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: The Skarzs on March 20, 2016, 01:33:40 PM
So is he. ;D

What's your name?: Skarzs
Are you a bloke or a sheila?: Bloke
There'll be beer served aplenty to ya down under, and the legal age is 18. Are ya older than 18?: Yes.
Are you able to operate any sort a motor vehicle (e.g. Holden Commodore, Tinny, Flying airplane thingy)?: Yup. Dinghy and land veal-hicckle.
Do ya have insurance?: Nope!
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: LT Sandpaw on March 20, 2016, 01:36:17 PM
 I'm pretty sure Groddil is Australian too. :D

G'day mate, *Snaps a picture.*
Sign me up Mr. Dundee, I'm definitely a bloke, an' sure I'm old enough I just don' drink, so I'll lay off the booze, and yeah I can drive a boat, sail a boat, fly a plane, drive a car, drive a motorcycle, crash a motorcycle. I'm all set mate.

Sure I got insurance. Not sayin' I've got proof of it. But that's not important out here.... Ain't it?

*Snaps another picture.*
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Aimless Gallivanter on March 20, 2016, 01:38:53 PM
What's your name? Galli
Are you a bloke or a sheila? sheila
There'll be beer served aplenty to ya down under, and the legal age is 18. Are ya older than 18? yessir
Are you able to operate any sort a motor vehicle (e.g. Holden Commodore, Tinny, Flying airplane thingy)? no, but know how to use rifles and shotguns. Plus, how hard can it be to learn?
Do ya have insurance? nope
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Lady Ashenwyte on March 20, 2016, 02:22:44 PM
What's your name? Ashenwyte
Are you a bloke or a sheila? Bloke.
There'll be beer served aplenty to ya down under, and the legal age is 18. Are ya older than 18? I'm older than the beer.
Are you able to operate any sort a motor vehicle (e.g. Holden Commodore, Tinny, Flying airplane thingy)? I'm able to operate a chariot.
Do ya have insurance? I am the insurance.
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Groddil on March 20, 2016, 08:54:05 PM
Quote from: LT Sandpaw on March 20, 2016, 01:36:17 PM
I'm pretty sure Groddil is Australian too. :D

Yeah, mate. I come from the QL of D, as you yanks would say. So take that Daniel, ya drongo!

@TrollMan, @SergeantStupid, @ThatPersonwhatWritesLyrics, @FreakazoidwhatThinkshe'saGodorSomethin': Accepted. Why don't ya wait in this ole shed while the rest show up!
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: LT Sandpaw on March 20, 2016, 09:01:25 PM

Hold the hosses, Who you callin' Sergeantstupid? I'm a blasted Lieutenant and don't you forget it!
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Groddil on March 20, 2016, 09:13:24 PM
Whatever ya say, CaptainCrud. Now be thankful ya got compared ta Kevin Rudd and not *shudder* JULIA GILLARD!
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Tam and Martin on March 20, 2016, 09:20:46 PM
What's your name? Me
Are you a bloke or a sheila? I consider myself a Shoke.
There'll be beer served aplenty to ya down under, and the legal age is 18. Are ya older than 18? Oh yeah I'm 18 (Holds out licence that says is big chunky letter (DEFINITELY NOT 15)
Are you able to operate any sort a motor vehicle (e.g. Holden Commodore, Tinny, Flying airplane thingy)? I can operate a matchbox car. Does that count?
Do ya have insurance? Insurance? Isn't that the sequel movie to Divergent?
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Groddil on March 20, 2016, 09:24:43 PM
@SarcasticPresident: Accepted, but I'd lose the sarcasm if I was you mate. We're stoppin' in Townsville, an' you'll probably get shanked if ya act like this there.
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Tam and Martin on March 20, 2016, 09:37:46 PM
Cool, like - Totally duuuude.
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: The Skarzs on March 20, 2016, 11:19:23 PM
I'll bring my knoif.
(http://i1285.photobucket.com/albums/a594/The_Skarz/WP_20150226_008_zpscdeezn3u.jpg)
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Groddil on March 20, 2016, 11:23:30 PM
@Trollman:
(https://s3.amazonaws.com/activejunky/images/thefix_upload/AJ2/dundee-meme.jpg)

Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Kitsune on March 20, 2016, 11:40:02 PM
What's your name? Kit.
Are you a bloke or a sheila? Bloke.
There'll be beer served aplenty to ya down under, and the legal age is 18. Are ya older than 18? I am not.
Are you able to operate any sort a motor vehicle (e.g. Holden Commodore, Tinny, Flying airplane thingy)? I am.
Do ya have insurance? No.
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Groddil on March 21, 2016, 12:00:15 AM
@KitKat: Noice. You're accepted, mate.
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: The Skarzs on March 21, 2016, 12:14:48 AM
Quote from: Groddil on March 20, 2016, 11:23:30 PM
@Trollman:
(https://s3.amazonaws.com/activejunky/images/thefix_upload/AJ2/dundee-meme.jpg)
Same soiz.
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Aimless Gallivanter on March 21, 2016, 12:19:28 AM
Quote from: Groddil on March 20, 2016, 11:23:30 PM
@Trollman:
(https://s3.amazonaws.com/activejunky/images/thefix_upload/AJ2/dundee-meme.jpg)
if thats the case
Then I've got my machete
Spoiler
(https://inflightmovie.files.wordpress.com/2015/01/4682010-turn_left_by_the_viking_sword_keflavik.jpg)
[close]
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: The Skarzs on March 21, 2016, 01:14:47 AM
Where's Eul? She always has a machete. . .
[voice=sword nerd ]Also, that's a viking sword, not a machete, Galli.[/voice=sword nerd]
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Banya on March 21, 2016, 02:36:20 AM
What's your name? Banya
Are you a bloke or a sheila? asheila
There'll be beer served aplenty to ya down under, and the legal age is 18. Are ya older than 18? I'm an 18 on a scale of 1 to 10 bye.
Are you able to operate any sort a motor vehicle (e.g. Holden Commodore, Tinny, Flying airplane thingy)? I once handled a motorized scooter pretty well.
Do ya have insurance? I have dental.
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Groddil on March 21, 2016, 02:41:39 AM
Bother is accepted.

(Banya + Otter = Bother)
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Aimless Gallivanter on March 21, 2016, 02:44:22 AM
Quote from: Skarzs on March 21, 2016, 01:14:47 AM
[voice=sword nerd ]Also, that's a viking sword, not a machete, Galli.[/voice=sword nerd]
that was the joke thanks
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Ashleg on March 21, 2016, 03:01:06 AM
What's your name? Ashleg.
Are you a bloke or a sheila? I'm a bloke, mate!
There'll be beer served aplenty to ya down under, and the legal age is 18. Are ya older than 18? Ha, ha, ha! ..........no.
Are you able to operate any sort a motor vehicle (e.g. Holden Commodore, Tinny, Flying airplane thingy)? Suuuuuuure, mate! But only if everyone signs a waiver!
Do ya have insurance? I do. I have hot cocoa insurance.
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Groddil on March 21, 2016, 03:07:44 AM
Ciggie's accepted. Although nobody'll be signin' no waivers while I'm around mate. GET IN THE SHED!

/me bundles Ciggie into the shed.

(Because Ash comes from ciggies, get it? No...)
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: DanielofRedwall on March 21, 2016, 09:14:54 AM
(@all: I realised the joke, don't worry. :P)
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: The Skarzs on March 21, 2016, 02:33:57 PM
(Not worrying; we knew. :P)
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Hickory on March 21, 2016, 03:00:05 PM
What's your name? Mr. Mundy
Are you a bloke or a sheila? Bloke.
There'll be beer served aplenty to ya down under, and the legal age is 18. Are ya older than 18? Most definitely.
Are you able to operate any sort a motor vehicle (e.g. Holden Commodore, Tinny, Flying airplane thingy)? Aye.
Do ya have insurance? I don't need insurance.
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Lady Ashenwyte on March 22, 2016, 05:37:02 AM
 This is a real knife
(http://www.lutel-handicraft.com/files/products/11005B.jpg)
[close]
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Lord Daskar on March 22, 2016, 04:32:00 PM
What's your name? What's.
Are you a bloke or a sheila? Bloke.
There'll be beer served aplenty to ya down under, and the legal age is 18. Are ya older than 18? Clearly.
Are you able to operate any sort a motor vehicle (e.g. Holden Commodore, Tinny, Flying airplane thingy)? Is this a joke?
Do ya have insurance? Of course.
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: The Skarzs on March 22, 2016, 05:30:25 PM
The funnel web arachnid
Went down it's home-web spout. . .

DAOWN CAME THE RAYN AND WASHED THE SPOIDEH OUT!

*Pours sulfuric acid down a funnel-web spider's hole.*
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Groddil on March 22, 2016, 08:42:01 PM
What is accepted.

@Trollman: Now you're startin' t'get it.
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Hickory on March 22, 2016, 10:47:43 PM
*pours Jarate down the spider hole*
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: The Skarzs on March 22, 2016, 11:33:29 PM
Quote from: Groddil on March 22, 2016, 08:42:01 PM
@Trollman: Now you're startin' t'get it.
Can we have roasted taipan for dinner?
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Banya on March 24, 2016, 05:28:39 AM
Quote from: Groddil on March 20, 2016, 11:23:30 PM
(https://s3.amazonaws.com/activejunky/images/thefix_upload/AJ2/dundee-meme.jpg)
Crocodile Dundee was my FAVOURITE MOVIE when I was in middle school.
Mick Dundee was also *just like* my grandpa.  They even look similar.
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Lord Daskar on March 24, 2016, 02:13:53 PM
Quote from: Groddil on March 22, 2016, 08:42:01 PM
What is accepted.

@Trollman: Now you're startin' t'get it.
The name's What's, mate.
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Hickory on March 24, 2016, 02:19:07 PM
Quote from: Skarzs on March 20, 2016, 11:19:23 PM
I'll bring my knoif.
(http://i1285.photobucket.com/albums/a594/The_Skarz/WP_20150226_008_zpscdeezn3u.jpg)
I'll bring my M24 sniper rifle. Made by Remington Arms, it uses 7.62×51mm NATO .300 Winchester Magnum .338 Lapua ammunition. What a beauty.

(http://www.texasbrigadearmory.com/images/m24.jpg)
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Tam and Martin on March 24, 2016, 03:01:52 PM
Sorry fellas. I brought this.

(https://sp.yimg.com/xj/th?id=OIP.Ma95da7dfbbdf83c925c0c985a4f8e4e6o0&pid=15.1&P=0&w=261&h=178)

which leads to this . . .

(http://media.npr.org/assets/img/2013/02/15/nuclear_57-046-60f5b6f991b3e30513cdf4c575e64312fa852445-s6-c30.jpg)
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: LT Sandpaw on March 24, 2016, 07:58:51 PM

Sorry Tam, Australia is very protective of its environment. Your not allowed to leave nuclear waste all over the place. It hurts their public image.

(http://tse1.mm.bing.net/th?id=OIP.M71e1aa33e290217f56d8b11fccf2c86dH0&w=182&h=105&c=7&rs=1&qlt=90&pid=3.1&rm=2)

Now this is a gun, but not any old gun, this is the Colt .45 1911 that Captain America used, its bullets are folded, super compressed American flags powdered by chiseled bits of the Statue of Liberty and wadded with bits of Abraham Lincoln's beard, and whose metal casings are forged from the Liberty Bell.

This thing fires 100% Liberty, Freedom, and Justice.





Just ignore the made in China bit.
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Groddil on March 24, 2016, 08:58:50 PM
"Enough. Talk. About. Guns. None of you have a license, so ya won't be bringing any of those. Besides, Captain Crud, ya ain't in Kansas any more, mate!"

/me confiscates the weaponry.

"Th'only firearm we'll 'ave is this ole musket ere. NOW SHUDDUP AN' GET ON THE PLANE!"

/me blinks into existence. Groddil hops into the pilot's seat.
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: LT Sandpaw on March 24, 2016, 09:08:04 PM

Shotgun.

/me jumps into the copilot seat.
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Aimless Gallivanter on March 24, 2016, 09:08:29 PM
Quote from: Groddil on March 24, 2016, 08:58:50 PM
" None of you have a license"

says you

Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Groddil on March 24, 2016, 09:28:20 PM
Quote from: Aimless Gallivanter on March 24, 2016, 09:08:29 PM
Quote from: Groddil on March 24, 2016, 08:58:50 PM
" None of you have a license"

says you

"How could ya, if ya don't live here? Shut up already, an' ged in th'plane!"

/me throws Galli into the Cessna.
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Lady Ashenwyte on March 25, 2016, 02:42:49 AM
I don't need a license. Besides, swords are better.
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Lord Daskar on March 25, 2016, 02:00:16 PM
*Shows Groddil Australian Gun License.*
*Hops in plane.*
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Banya on March 25, 2016, 06:23:32 PM
*boards*
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: LT Sandpaw on March 25, 2016, 06:28:52 PM

Well we're at occupant capacity. Everyone else jump into the cargo bay.
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Lord Daskar on March 25, 2016, 06:52:41 PM
/me sits in a chair.
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Kitsune on March 25, 2016, 07:11:26 PM
Most Cessna planes holds at least eight people. There are still a few seats left.

/me takes a seat.
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Lord Daskar on March 25, 2016, 07:16:28 PM
That problem can be solved easily.
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: LT Sandpaw on March 25, 2016, 07:25:09 PM

Specified as tiny though, most likely a four seater.

/me scoots over in the copilot seat to make room.
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Lord Daskar on March 25, 2016, 07:38:17 PM
/me puts Banya with Sand.

The 'BLT Sanya.'

/me sits back down.
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Tam and Martin on March 25, 2016, 09:00:07 PM
Move out of the way guys, fat person coming through.
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Groddil on March 25, 2016, 09:59:03 PM
@What's: "I don' wanna no 'ow ya got that, mate, but I ain't gonna argue. 'Ere, 'ave this spare musket."

@SarcasticPresident: "There ain't enough room fer ya!"

/me duct tapes Tam to the outside of the plane.

"Arighty, everyone who ain't on the plane yet. This vehicle (Aussie pronounciation is Vii-hick-lll, with empasis on the "hick" and a short pause between each syllable.) is full, mate! So, there's only one thing we can do!"

/me shoves everyone else into a large metal box, seals it shut, and ties it to the back of the plane.

"That should do it. She'll be right, mate."

/me hops back in the pilots seat.

"Prepare for takeoff, CaptainCrud."
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: LT Sandpaw on March 25, 2016, 10:37:53 PM
 /me spins the propeller to get it going then climbs around Banya to get back into the co-pilots seat.

Coms, lights, flaps, brakes, ailerons, rudder, elevators, the little gage thingies, yoke, fuel, all low and in terrible condition. But they'll make due. Lets get this puppy in the air.

Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Groddil on March 25, 2016, 11:12:44 PM
"Shuddup, CaptainCrud. I don't care 'bout all the little doohickey thingys. All we gotta do is push the button."

/me slams down on a large red button in the center of the console.

*The Cesna disappears in a blinding light. Thanks to 'STRAYA POWER! the plane is easily carried by supersonic kangaroos all the way to the center of a busy Brisbane highway.*

"Crickey! Everyone out!"
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Kitsune on March 26, 2016, 12:13:36 AM
/me crosses over to the side of the highway, weaving between cars with practiced ease, and shouts over "Is this really our designated landing space?"
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: The Skarzs on March 26, 2016, 03:35:51 AM
*Breaks metal box open from the inside.* Fun!
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Wylder Treejumper on March 26, 2016, 03:46:52 AM
*Walks up to Groddil*

G'day, mate! This the Aussie Adventure Tour? 'Ere's me application.

*Hands Groddil a sheet of paper*

What's your name? Wylder Treejumper
Are you a bloke or a sheila? Bloke
There'll be beer served aplenty to ya down under, and the legal age is 18. Are ya older than 18? Ain't, and wouldn't drink none noways.
Are you able to operate any sort a motor vehicle (e.g. Holden Commodore, Tinny, Flying airplane thingy)? Sure, I can. Pretty much anything. Am I licensed? Now, that's an entirely different sort o' question...
Do ya have insurance? Sure do.
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Banya on March 26, 2016, 04:59:43 AM
Quick, Wylder, jump in the plane!
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Groddil on March 26, 2016, 05:25:53 AM
"What? NO! GET OUT OF THE PLANE1!!"

*A car narrowly misses the Cessna*

"Whatever, Trump, you're in. JUST GET OFF THE ROAD!"
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Lady Ashenwyte on March 26, 2016, 05:36:12 AM
*Polishes sword while in plane*
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: LT Sandpaw on March 26, 2016, 01:58:01 PM

*Leaps out of the plane and runs towards the adjacent car-less land.*
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Aimless Gallivanter on March 26, 2016, 02:02:54 PM
*fell asleep on the ride over*
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Hickory on March 26, 2016, 02:40:14 PM
*takes potshots at passing ducks*
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Tam and Martin on March 26, 2016, 02:53:18 PM
Quote from: Groddil on March 25, 2016, 09:59:03 PM
@What's: "I don' wanna no 'ow ya got that, mate, but I ain't gonna argue. 'Ere, 'ave this spare musket."

@SarcasticPresident: "There ain't enough room fer ya!"

/me duct tapes Tam to the outside of the plane.

"Arighty, everyone who ain't on the plane yet. This vehicle (Aussie pronounciation is Vii-hick-lll, with empasis on the "hick" and a short pause between each syllable.) is full, mate! So, there's only one thing we can do!"

/me shoves everyone else into a large metal box, seals it shut, and ties it to the back of the plane.

"That should do it. She'll be right, mate."

/me hops back in the pilots seat.

"Prepare for takeoff, CaptainCrud."
Wait! I'm to heavy for the one side of the plane, we will flip! You need to tie, like, ten more people to the other side to balance me out!
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Groddil on March 26, 2016, 09:15:58 PM
*before Tam finishes his sentence, the plane has already been whisked away to the Highway.*

"Uhh, this isn't working. EVERYBODY BACK ON!"

/me bundles everyone back into the Cessna and pushes the button.

*The Cessna appears in the middle of the Aussie desert.*

/me pulls everyone from the plane and dumps them next to a large campfire.

"Alrighty, mates. This is the Outback, an' you gotta learn how ta survive out here."

/me pours petrol all over the Cessna and lights it, destroying the plane.

"Oops. I've ACCIDENTALLY destroyed all our food. Ya gotta go out into the Bush and find some Bush Tucka ta bring back 'ere fa dinner. Don't just stand there, ya drongos, off with ya!"
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: LT Sandpaw on March 26, 2016, 09:19:47 PM

Uh sure, ya'll have fun doing that.
/me opens his survival pack and pulls out a MRE.

Mmm, these are great.
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Groddil on March 26, 2016, 09:23:49 PM
"CaptainCrud, ya great bloody fraud! Why'dya sign up fa this if ya just wanna live the city folk live anyway?"

/me snatches everybodies bags and throws them into the burning wreckage of the Cessna.

"If ya wanna make it back ta ya precious mobile phones an' comfy beds widout losin' a leg to the crocs, ya better shut ya mouths and open ya ears. Go. get. some. food."
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: LT Sandpaw on March 26, 2016, 09:29:07 PM

Welp we're all out of food. I suggest for the necessity of survival we eat each other. Lets start with the largest and work our way down to the smallest.

*Looks pointedly at Tam*
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Groddil on March 26, 2016, 09:30:39 PM
/me injects Tam with a toxin that is only fatal when ingested.

"Not going to happen. You eat him, or anyone else for that matter, you die. I STRONGLY suggest you take a hike and find some bush tucker, or you're all gonna starve. Ya got that? Good."
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Kitsune on March 26, 2016, 09:36:59 PM
/me walks back toward the camp.

"While you all were arguing about MREs and canabalism, I found a dead tree and made some spears by tying some sharp stones to the end with some branch leaves. I hate killing anything, but it's better to hunt than to starve."

/me tosses the spears on the ground, keeping one.
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Groddil on March 26, 2016, 09:43:18 PM
"Nice work, Kit! Ya don't ACTUALLY have t'kill anything, there's plenty a berries an' grubs an things around 'ere."

/me throws some witchety grubs on the fire.
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: The Skarzs on March 26, 2016, 10:43:44 PM
Quote from: Groddil on March 26, 2016, 09:43:18 PM
Ya don't ACTUALLY have t'kill anything,
. . . Oh. *Hides strangled dingo behind back.*
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Lady Ashenwyte on March 27, 2016, 03:39:44 AM
Good thing my messer was in my hand, eh? Right, off I go!


(Insert something here)


*Comes back dragging back a large dead crocodile*
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Aimless Gallivanter on March 27, 2016, 03:51:44 AM
No, wait, I saw this in documentary. We need to light the outback on fire, dig some holes, and we'll find dinosaurs that we all thought were extinct.
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: LT Sandpaw on March 27, 2016, 08:24:15 PM

Do I look like a vegetarian to you? How are we supposed to keep everyone alive on berries? I'll go get us some real food.

*Stalks away grumbling*
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Lord Daskar on March 28, 2016, 04:23:29 PM
*What's gives Groddil his old musket back.*
*What's pulls out what he calls, "Real Gun."*
*What's looks for meat.*
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Groddil on March 28, 2016, 11:22:26 PM
/me arrests Lord Daskar for owning a gun without a license.

"Well, we're short a tourist. But that dingo and croc I see you hidin' should be more than enough, if CaptainCrud brings us somethin' else as well."
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Wylder Treejumper on March 29, 2016, 02:03:03 AM
*Comes back with a box of grasshoppers and crickets*

These should work. They taste good when they're fried up right- about like peanut butter. Bit crunchy, but ya can't be picky out here.
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: The Skarzs on March 29, 2016, 05:37:44 AM
Or you can eat them raw and get some water at the same time with their bodily fluids.

Unless you all want to distill some water from dingo blood. . .
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Lady Ashenwyte on March 29, 2016, 12:42:05 PM
Just drink the blood. It'll do ye no harm.

*Chops up croc and roasts it over the fire*
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Lord Daskar on March 29, 2016, 03:08:44 PM
*What's shows cops Australian Gun License.*
*What's is released.*
*What's shoots birds.*
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Kitsune on March 29, 2016, 06:03:54 PM
"I understand hunting for survival, but it seems that you are hunting more for pleasure."

/me glares at people with dead animals.
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: LT Sandpaw on March 29, 2016, 06:33:57 PM

/me walks back carrying a dead snake with no head.

Hey ya'll got a snake, I dunno what kind but it should make good eating.
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Kitsune on March 29, 2016, 06:34:52 PM
/me gets up and walks out of the camp to find the berries Groddil Dundee mentioned.
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Wylder Treejumper on March 29, 2016, 07:00:43 PM
Berries?!? What is this, Camp Vegan? ;D
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: The Skarzs on March 29, 2016, 07:26:08 PM
How about "Survival Tryouts."

Quote from: Kitsune on March 29, 2016, 06:03:54 PM
"I understand hunting for survival, but it seems that you are hunting more for pleasure."

/me glares at people with dead animals.
The dingo attacked me first. After I poked it with a stick.
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Hickory on March 29, 2016, 09:15:40 PM
Quote from: Wylder Treejumper on March 29, 2016, 07:00:43 PM
Berries?!? What is this, Camp Vegan? ;D
In that case, you'd better put on these 100% cotton clothes.
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Wylder Treejumper on March 29, 2016, 09:43:21 PM
How dare you! I shall never forfeit my leather jacket!
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Kitsune on March 29, 2016, 11:37:06 PM
/me returns with berries and rolls his eyes.

Look, I can put away a side of meat as fast as the rest of you. I just don't like harming animals if there are other options.

/me glances at the sky.

It will be dark soon. We should build a fire.
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Groddil on March 29, 2016, 11:46:31 PM
/me points at the fire.

"Like this one?"

/me munches on a fried witchety grub.
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Lady Ashenwyte on March 30, 2016, 02:52:17 AM
Ze crocodile iz done!


Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Hickory on March 30, 2016, 02:08:38 PM
Quote from: Wylder Treejumper on March 29, 2016, 09:43:21 PM
How dare you! I shall never forfeit my leather jacket!
PUT ON THE PLANT FIBER SHOES! PUT THEM ON!
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: Lady Ashenwyte on April 02, 2016, 04:11:31 AM
CROCODILE FOR EVERYBODY. THE DINGO WILL BE SERVED FOR BREAKFAST WITH A SIDE OF BERRIES.
Title: Re: Groddil's Aussie Adventures. *SIGN UP NOW*
Post by: PanopticEmu on June 09, 2020, 04:05:26 AM
What's your name? Emu
Are you a bloke or a sheila? Blokey bloke
There'll be beer served aplenty to ya down under, and the legal age is 18. Are ya older than 18? By many moons
Are you able to operate any sort a motor vehicle (e.g. Holden Commodore, Tinny, Flying airplane thingy)? yes, yes, and no. Tractors and ATVs also a yes
Do ya have insurance? This is 'Straya. What insurance company would ever cover the stuff we do here?