G'day mates. I'm Groddil Dundee, an' I'll be yer tour guide fer the next couple o' days. If ya feel like goin' on an adventure to 'Straya without 'aving ta leave the comfort a the forum, I'm yer guy. Simply fill out this form an' you're all set t join me, on an AUSSIE ADVENTURE!!! We'll be travellin' across the desert, tryin' not ta get eaten by the wildlife, we'll be campin' out, an' we'll be doin' all other sorts a good things.
What's your name?
Are you a bloke or a sheila?
There'll be beer served aplenty to ya down under, and the legal age is 18. Are ya older than 18?
Are you able to operate any sort a motor vehicle (e.g. Holden Commodore, Tinny, Flying airplane thingy)?
Do ya have insurance?
The guys unlucky enough to sign on fer this:
Groddil Dundee (Tour Guide)
Skarz (Trollman)
LT Sandpaw (CaptainCrud)
Tam (SarcasticPresident)
AimlessGallivanter (ThatPersonwhatWritesLyrics)
Lord Ashenwyte (FreakazoidwhatThinkshe'saGodorSomethin')
Kitsune (Kit Kat)
Lord Daskar (What's)
Banya (Bother)
Ashleg (Ciggie)
Sagetip AKA Mr. Mundy (Mungo Mundy)
I'm Australian and I find this offensive. ;)
So is he. ;D
What's your name?: Skarzs
Are you a bloke or a sheila?: Bloke
There'll be beer served aplenty to ya down under, and the legal age is 18. Are ya older than 18?: Yes.
Are you able to operate any sort a motor vehicle (e.g. Holden Commodore, Tinny, Flying airplane thingy)?: Yup. Dinghy and land veal-hicckle.
Do ya have insurance?: Nope!
I'm pretty sure Groddil is Australian too. :D
G'day mate, *Snaps a picture.*
Sign me up Mr. Dundee, I'm definitely a bloke, an' sure I'm old enough I just don' drink, so I'll lay off the booze, and yeah I can drive a boat, sail a boat, fly a plane, drive a car, drive a motorcycle, crash a motorcycle. I'm all set mate.
Sure I got insurance. Not sayin' I've got proof of it. But that's not important out here.... Ain't it?
*Snaps another picture.*
What's your name? Galli
Are you a bloke or a sheila? sheila
There'll be beer served aplenty to ya down under, and the legal age is 18. Are ya older than 18? yessir
Are you able to operate any sort a motor vehicle (e.g. Holden Commodore, Tinny, Flying airplane thingy)? no, but know how to use rifles and shotguns. Plus, how hard can it be to learn?
Do ya have insurance? nope
What's your name? Ashenwyte
Are you a bloke or a sheila? Bloke.
There'll be beer served aplenty to ya down under, and the legal age is 18. Are ya older than 18? I'm older than the beer.
Are you able to operate any sort a motor vehicle (e.g. Holden Commodore, Tinny, Flying airplane thingy)? I'm able to operate a chariot.
Do ya have insurance? I am the insurance.
Quote from: LT Sandpaw on March 20, 2016, 01:36:17 PM
I'm pretty sure Groddil is Australian too. :D
Yeah, mate. I come from the QL of D, as you yanks would say. So take that Daniel, ya drongo!
@TrollMan, @SergeantStupid, @ThatPersonwhatWritesLyrics, @FreakazoidwhatThinkshe'saGodorSomethin': Accepted. Why don't ya wait in this ole shed while the rest show up!
Hold the hosses, Who you callin' Sergeantstupid? I'm a blasted Lieutenant and don't you forget it!
Whatever ya say, CaptainCrud. Now be thankful ya got compared ta Kevin Rudd and not *shudder* JULIA GILLARD!
What's your name? Me
Are you a bloke or a sheila? I consider myself a Shoke.
There'll be beer served aplenty to ya down under, and the legal age is 18. Are ya older than 18? Oh yeah I'm 18 (Holds out licence that says is big chunky letter (DEFINITELY NOT 15)
Are you able to operate any sort a motor vehicle (e.g. Holden Commodore, Tinny, Flying airplane thingy)? I can operate a matchbox car. Does that count?
Do ya have insurance? Insurance? Isn't that the sequel movie to Divergent?
@SarcasticPresident: Accepted, but I'd lose the sarcasm if I was you mate. We're stoppin' in Townsville, an' you'll probably get shanked if ya act like this there.
Cool, like - Totally duuuude.
I'll bring my knoif.
(http://i1285.photobucket.com/albums/a594/The_Skarz/WP_20150226_008_zpscdeezn3u.jpg)
@Trollman:
(https://s3.amazonaws.com/activejunky/images/thefix_upload/AJ2/dundee-meme.jpg)
What's your name? Kit.
Are you a bloke or a sheila? Bloke.
There'll be beer served aplenty to ya down under, and the legal age is 18. Are ya older than 18? I am not.
Are you able to operate any sort a motor vehicle (e.g. Holden Commodore, Tinny, Flying airplane thingy)? I am.
Do ya have insurance? No.
@KitKat: Noice. You're accepted, mate.
Quote from: Groddil on March 20, 2016, 11:23:30 PM
@Trollman:
(https://s3.amazonaws.com/activejunky/images/thefix_upload/AJ2/dundee-meme.jpg)
Same soiz.
Quote from: Groddil on March 20, 2016, 11:23:30 PM
@Trollman:
(https://s3.amazonaws.com/activejunky/images/thefix_upload/AJ2/dundee-meme.jpg)
if thats the case
Then I've got my machete
Spoiler
(https://inflightmovie.files.wordpress.com/2015/01/4682010-turn_left_by_the_viking_sword_keflavik.jpg)
Where's Eul? She always has a machete. . .
[voice=sword nerd ]Also, that's a viking sword, not a machete, Galli.[/voice=sword nerd]
What's your name? Banya
Are you a bloke or a sheila? asheila
There'll be beer served aplenty to ya down under, and the legal age is 18. Are ya older than 18? I'm an 18 on a scale of 1 to 10 bye.
Are you able to operate any sort a motor vehicle (e.g. Holden Commodore, Tinny, Flying airplane thingy)? I once handled a motorized scooter pretty well.
Do ya have insurance? I have dental.
Bother is accepted.
(Banya + Otter = Bother)
Quote from: Skarzs on March 21, 2016, 01:14:47 AM
[voice=sword nerd ]Also, that's a viking sword, not a machete, Galli.[/voice=sword nerd]
that was the joke thanks
What's your name? Ashleg.
Are you a bloke or a sheila? I'm a bloke, mate!
There'll be beer served aplenty to ya down under, and the legal age is 18. Are ya older than 18? Ha, ha, ha! ..........no.
Are you able to operate any sort a motor vehicle (e.g. Holden Commodore, Tinny, Flying airplane thingy)? Suuuuuuure, mate! But only if everyone signs a waiver!
Do ya have insurance? I do. I have hot cocoa insurance.
Ciggie's accepted. Although nobody'll be signin' no waivers while I'm around mate. GET IN THE SHED!
/me bundles Ciggie into the shed.
(Because Ash comes from ciggies, get it? No...)
(@all: I realised the joke, don't worry. :P)
(Not worrying; we knew. :P)
What's your name? Mr. Mundy
Are you a bloke or a sheila? Bloke.
There'll be beer served aplenty to ya down under, and the legal age is 18. Are ya older than 18? Most definitely.
Are you able to operate any sort a motor vehicle (e.g. Holden Commodore, Tinny, Flying airplane thingy)? Aye.
Do ya have insurance? I don't need insurance.
This is a real knife
(http://www.lutel-handicraft.com/files/products/11005B.jpg)
What's your name? What's.
Are you a bloke or a sheila? Bloke.
There'll be beer served aplenty to ya down under, and the legal age is 18. Are ya older than 18? Clearly.
Are you able to operate any sort a motor vehicle (e.g. Holden Commodore, Tinny, Flying airplane thingy)? Is this a joke?
Do ya have insurance? Of course.
The funnel web arachnid
Went down it's home-web spout. . .
DAOWN CAME THE RAYN AND WASHED THE SPOIDEH OUT!
*Pours sulfuric acid down a funnel-web spider's hole.*
What is accepted.
@Trollman: Now you're startin' t'get it.
*pours Jarate down the spider hole*
Quote from: Groddil on March 22, 2016, 08:42:01 PM
@Trollman: Now you're startin' t'get it.
Can we have roasted taipan for dinner?
Quote from: Groddil on March 20, 2016, 11:23:30 PM
(https://s3.amazonaws.com/activejunky/images/thefix_upload/AJ2/dundee-meme.jpg)
Crocodile Dundee was my FAVOURITE MOVIE when I was in middle school.
Mick Dundee was also *just like* my grandpa. They even look similar.
Quote from: Groddil on March 22, 2016, 08:42:01 PM
What is accepted.
@Trollman: Now you're startin' t'get it.
The name's What's, mate.
Quote from: Skarzs on March 20, 2016, 11:19:23 PM
I'll bring my knoif.
(http://i1285.photobucket.com/albums/a594/The_Skarz/WP_20150226_008_zpscdeezn3u.jpg)
I'll bring my M24 sniper rifle. Made by Remington Arms, it uses 7.62×51mm NATO .300 Winchester Magnum .338 Lapua ammunition. What a beauty.
(http://www.texasbrigadearmory.com/images/m24.jpg)
Sorry fellas. I brought this.
(https://sp.yimg.com/xj/th?id=OIP.Ma95da7dfbbdf83c925c0c985a4f8e4e6o0&pid=15.1&P=0&w=261&h=178)
which leads to this . . .
(http://media.npr.org/assets/img/2013/02/15/nuclear_57-046-60f5b6f991b3e30513cdf4c575e64312fa852445-s6-c30.jpg)
Sorry Tam, Australia is very protective of its environment. Your not allowed to leave nuclear waste all over the place. It hurts their public image.
(http://tse1.mm.bing.net/th?id=OIP.M71e1aa33e290217f56d8b11fccf2c86dH0&w=182&h=105&c=7&rs=1&qlt=90&pid=3.1&rm=2)
Now this is a gun, but not any old gun, this is the Colt .45 1911 that Captain America used, its bullets are folded, super compressed American flags powdered by chiseled bits of the Statue of Liberty and wadded with bits of Abraham Lincoln's beard, and whose metal casings are forged from the Liberty Bell.
This thing fires 100% Liberty, Freedom, and Justice.
Just ignore the made in China bit.
"Enough. Talk. About. Guns. None of you have a license, so ya won't be bringing any of those. Besides, Captain Crud, ya ain't in Kansas any more, mate!"
/me confiscates the weaponry.
"Th'only firearm we'll 'ave is this ole musket ere. NOW SHUDDUP AN' GET ON THE PLANE!"
/me blinks into existence. Groddil hops into the pilot's seat.
Shotgun.
/me jumps into the copilot seat.
Quote from: Aimless Gallivanter on March 24, 2016, 09:08:29 PM
Quote from: Groddil on March 24, 2016, 08:58:50 PM
" None of you have a license"
says you
"How could ya, if ya don't live here? Shut up already, an' ged in th'plane!"
/me throws Galli into the Cessna.
I don't need a license. Besides, swords are better.
*Shows Groddil Australian Gun License.*
*Hops in plane.*
*boards*
Well we're at occupant capacity. Everyone else jump into the cargo bay.
/me sits in a chair.
Most Cessna planes holds at least eight people. There are still a few seats left.
/me takes a seat.
That problem can be solved easily.
Specified as tiny though, most likely a four seater.
/me scoots over in the copilot seat to make room.
/me puts Banya with Sand.
The 'BLT Sanya.'
/me sits back down.
Move out of the way guys, fat person coming through.
@What's: "I don' wanna no 'ow ya got that, mate, but I ain't gonna argue. 'Ere, 'ave this spare musket."
@SarcasticPresident: "There ain't enough room fer ya!"
/me duct tapes Tam to the outside of the plane.
"Arighty, everyone who ain't on the plane yet. This vehicle (Aussie pronounciation is Vii-hick-lll, with empasis on the "hick" and a short pause between each syllable.) is full, mate! So, there's only one thing we can do!"
/me shoves everyone else into a large metal box, seals it shut, and ties it to the back of the plane.
"That should do it. She'll be right, mate."
/me hops back in the pilots seat.
"Prepare for takeoff, CaptainCrud."
/me spins the propeller to get it going then climbs around Banya to get back into the co-pilots seat.
Coms, lights, flaps, brakes, ailerons, rudder, elevators, the little gage thingies, yoke, fuel, all low and in terrible condition. But they'll make due. Lets get this puppy in the air.
"Shuddup, CaptainCrud. I don't care 'bout all the little doohickey thingys. All we gotta do is push the button."
/me slams down on a large red button in the center of the console.
*The Cesna disappears in a blinding light. Thanks to 'STRAYA POWER! the plane is easily carried by supersonic kangaroos all the way to the center of a busy Brisbane highway.*
"Crickey! Everyone out!"
/me crosses over to the side of the highway, weaving between cars with practiced ease, and shouts over "Is this really our designated landing space?"
*Breaks metal box open from the inside.* Fun!
*Walks up to Groddil*
G'day, mate! This the Aussie Adventure Tour? 'Ere's me application.
*Hands Groddil a sheet of paper*
What's your name? Wylder Treejumper
Are you a bloke or a sheila? Bloke
There'll be beer served aplenty to ya down under, and the legal age is 18. Are ya older than 18? Ain't, and wouldn't drink none noways.
Are you able to operate any sort a motor vehicle (e.g. Holden Commodore, Tinny, Flying airplane thingy)? Sure, I can. Pretty much anything. Am I licensed? Now, that's an entirely different sort o' question...
Do ya have insurance? Sure do.
Quick, Wylder, jump in the plane!
"What? NO! GET OUT OF THE PLANE1!!"
*A car narrowly misses the Cessna*
"Whatever, Trump, you're in. JUST GET OFF THE ROAD!"
*Polishes sword while in plane*
*Leaps out of the plane and runs towards the adjacent car-less land.*
*fell asleep on the ride over*
*takes potshots at passing ducks*
Quote from: Groddil on March 25, 2016, 09:59:03 PM
@What's: "I don' wanna no 'ow ya got that, mate, but I ain't gonna argue. 'Ere, 'ave this spare musket."
@SarcasticPresident: "There ain't enough room fer ya!"
/me duct tapes Tam to the outside of the plane.
"Arighty, everyone who ain't on the plane yet. This vehicle (Aussie pronounciation is Vii-hick-lll, with empasis on the "hick" and a short pause between each syllable.) is full, mate! So, there's only one thing we can do!"
/me shoves everyone else into a large metal box, seals it shut, and ties it to the back of the plane.
"That should do it. She'll be right, mate."
/me hops back in the pilots seat.
"Prepare for takeoff, CaptainCrud."
Wait! I'm to heavy for the one side of the plane, we will flip! You need to tie, like, ten more people to the other side to balance me out!
*before Tam finishes his sentence, the plane has already been whisked away to the Highway.*
"Uhh, this isn't working. EVERYBODY BACK ON!"
/me bundles everyone back into the Cessna and pushes the button.
*The Cessna appears in the middle of the Aussie desert.*
/me pulls everyone from the plane and dumps them next to a large campfire.
"Alrighty, mates. This is the Outback, an' you gotta learn how ta survive out here."
/me pours petrol all over the Cessna and lights it, destroying the plane.
"Oops. I've ACCIDENTALLY destroyed all our food. Ya gotta go out into the Bush and find some Bush Tucka ta bring back 'ere fa dinner. Don't just stand there, ya drongos, off with ya!"
Uh sure, ya'll have fun doing that.
/me opens his survival pack and pulls out a MRE.
Mmm, these are great.
"CaptainCrud, ya great bloody fraud! Why'dya sign up fa this if ya just wanna live the city folk live anyway?"
/me snatches everybodies bags and throws them into the burning wreckage of the Cessna.
"If ya wanna make it back ta ya precious mobile phones an' comfy beds widout losin' a leg to the crocs, ya better shut ya mouths and open ya ears. Go. get. some. food."
Welp we're all out of food. I suggest for the necessity of survival we eat each other. Lets start with the largest and work our way down to the smallest.
*Looks pointedly at Tam*
/me injects Tam with a toxin that is only fatal when ingested.
"Not going to happen. You eat him, or anyone else for that matter, you die. I STRONGLY suggest you take a hike and find some bush tucker, or you're all gonna starve. Ya got that? Good."
/me walks back toward the camp.
"While you all were arguing about MREs and canabalism, I found a dead tree and made some spears by tying some sharp stones to the end with some branch leaves. I hate killing anything, but it's better to hunt than to starve."
/me tosses the spears on the ground, keeping one.
"Nice work, Kit! Ya don't ACTUALLY have t'kill anything, there's plenty a berries an' grubs an things around 'ere."
/me throws some witchety grubs on the fire.
Quote from: Groddil on March 26, 2016, 09:43:18 PM
Ya don't ACTUALLY have t'kill anything,
. . . Oh. *Hides strangled dingo behind back.*
Good thing my messer was in my hand, eh? Right, off I go!
(Insert something here)
*Comes back dragging back a large dead crocodile*
No, wait, I saw this in documentary. We need to light the outback on fire, dig some holes, and we'll find dinosaurs that we all thought were extinct.
Do I look like a vegetarian to you? How are we supposed to keep everyone alive on berries? I'll go get us some real food.
*Stalks away grumbling*
*What's gives Groddil his old musket back.*
*What's pulls out what he calls, "Real Gun."*
*What's looks for meat.*
/me arrests Lord Daskar for owning a gun without a license.
"Well, we're short a tourist. But that dingo and croc I see you hidin' should be more than enough, if CaptainCrud brings us somethin' else as well."
*Comes back with a box of grasshoppers and crickets*
These should work. They taste good when they're fried up right- about like peanut butter. Bit crunchy, but ya can't be picky out here.
Or you can eat them raw and get some water at the same time with their bodily fluids.
Unless you all want to distill some water from dingo blood. . .
Just drink the blood. It'll do ye no harm.
*Chops up croc and roasts it over the fire*
*What's shows cops Australian Gun License.*
*What's is released.*
*What's shoots birds.*
"I understand hunting for survival, but it seems that you are hunting more for pleasure."
/me glares at people with dead animals.
/me walks back carrying a dead snake with no head.
Hey ya'll got a snake, I dunno what kind but it should make good eating.
/me gets up and walks out of the camp to find the berries Groddil Dundee mentioned.
Berries?!? What is this, Camp Vegan? ;D
How about "Survival Tryouts."
Quote from: Kitsune on March 29, 2016, 06:03:54 PM
"I understand hunting for survival, but it seems that you are hunting more for pleasure."
/me glares at people with dead animals.
The dingo attacked me first.
After I poked it with a stick.
Quote from: Wylder Treejumper on March 29, 2016, 07:00:43 PM
Berries?!? What is this, Camp Vegan? ;D
In that case, you'd better put on these 100% cotton clothes.
How dare you! I shall never forfeit my leather jacket!
/me returns with berries and rolls his eyes.
Look, I can put away a side of meat as fast as the rest of you. I just don't like harming animals if there are other options.
/me glances at the sky.
It will be dark soon. We should build a fire.
/me points at the fire.
"Like this one?"
/me munches on a fried witchety grub.
Ze crocodile iz done!
Quote from: Wylder Treejumper on March 29, 2016, 09:43:21 PM
How dare you! I shall never forfeit my leather jacket!
PUT ON THE PLANT FIBER SHOES! PUT THEM ON!
CROCODILE FOR EVERYBODY. THE DINGO WILL BE SERVED FOR BREAKFAST WITH A SIDE OF BERRIES.
What's your name? Emu
Are you a bloke or a sheila? Blokey bloke
There'll be beer served aplenty to ya down under, and the legal age is 18. Are ya older than 18? By many moons
Are you able to operate any sort a motor vehicle (e.g. Holden Commodore, Tinny, Flying airplane thingy)? yes, yes, and no. Tractors and ATVs also a yes
Do ya have insurance? This is 'Straya. What insurance company would ever cover the stuff we do here?