What Does the Fox Say?

[Mara the Wolf]

Disclaimer
A pretty, mid-30s silver fox with blue eyes, black pixie cut hair, a black tail with a white tip, a black Siamese-esque mask, and white muzzle (or rather, a place where her muzzle should be), dressed in in a white button-up shirt, a black leather jacket, light black skirt, black combat boots with grey accents, and black-rimmed rectangular glasses appears. In her paws is an adorable creamy-colored fennec fox with brown eyes, dressed in a creamy-colored tank top, black leather jacket, black motorcycle boots and jean shorts, who couldn't be older than 8.
The silver fox clears her throat. "Hello. My name is Sylvia Johnson. This my son, Landon."
The fennec fox waves. "Hi!"
"First off, I'm not goth, nor is my son a biker boy. My look is called office formal, but I hate pinstripe and high heels, so I wear mostly black."
"An' I dress like this 'cause my big sister Akase dresses kinda like this, an' she looks awesome!"
"Second, if you're wondering why we lack 'proper' muzzles..." she air-quoted. "It's because we are not Redwall foxes. We're Mobians. AKA, Sonic the Hedgehog OCs.
"Our author does not own the song for this songfic. The Fox (What Does the Fox Say?) belongs to Ylvis. With the exceptions of Machus, Mona, & Mykola, the author does own all characters appearing in this songfic, though Misaki is an InuYasha/RWBY OC. Machus and Mona belong to Highwing, author of The Urthblood Cycle. Mykola belongs to Samadhir, TUC fanboy and author of TUC spin-offs. Well, big disclaimer outta the way, let's get started."

Link to the music video in this songfic: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jofNR_WkoCE
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A group of foxes of varying species in Urthblood's army was grouped around a campfire. They were supposed to resting for the night, but insomnia had infected them and they were dancing (for a given definition of "dancing"; it was mostly shaking their hips, kicking legs up and their paws made "pawing" motions and such) and singing. Anybeast looking their way and/or hearing their song probably thought they were insane...or drunk...or both.
"What the fox say!" everybeast said together, laughing, leaning on each other for support.
Misaki, a teenage arctic fox with blue eyes and a torn left ear and a scar underneath one eye, dressed in a white halter jacket over a white dress and wearing white boots, fell backwards onto her tail. "Kami, I haven't heard that song in a while!"
Landon, a young fennec fox dressed like a modern-day biker boy, grinned. "Yeah, it's great! Why don't other foxes like it? It's s'posed ta be funny!"
"Because real foxes don't make those sounds!" Maut, a mid-20s silver fox with gold eyes, mock-whined in a falsetto voice.
Sylvia, another silver fox and the adopted mother of Landon rolled her eyes. "So? Whoever said music has to be accurate? The melody's fun."
Mylar, the final fox of the group, a red fox with green eyes, a black tail tip, a torn left ear and scars practically identical to Misaki's, nodded her agreement. "Exactly. Wanna sing again?"
The others whooped their agreement, and the song started up again.

Machus, Urthblood's second-in-command and leader of the swordfoxes, Urthblood's elite fighting force, stood watching the five contemptuously. "Mikky, I think our newest recruits and Mylar are drunk."
Mykola, a swordfox with a perpetual limp due to one leg being slightly shorter than the other, nodded. "Only explanation."
"It's an embarrassment," Machus spat. "The last time anybeast got drunk, those two stoats ruined Urthblood's hard work with the Northlanders."
Mykola shrugged. "Well, at least they're not hurting anybeast."
Mona, the army's lead surgeon, snorted. "Only their dignities."
Machus' scowl deepened. "Worse than Py, that lazy bum."
Mykola frowned. "Now my Sword, that's hardly fair. I—"
Machus held up a paw. "I'm not hearing it, Mikky. I'm going to break this up. Honestly, Mylar at least knows better than this." With that, Machus made his way towards the five. Mykola looked to Mona, only to see the vixen heading after Machus. Mykola sighed and hobbled after them.

Mylar was the first to notice them. "Here comes Machus," she warned. The singing died as the trio approached.
"Anything we can do for you, Machus?" Sylvia asked.
"You will refer to him as 'my Sword', Sylvia."
Machus held up a paw. " That's the least of our worries, Mona. Honestly, just what do you beasts think you're doing, getting drunk and making a scene? It's bad enough—"
"We haven't been drinking," Misaki cut in.
Machus raised a brow. "Oh really? Then explain yourselves." This oughta be good.
"It's a song called 'What Does the Fox Say?'" Sylvia said.
Now the other brow went up. "Why would anybeast make a song called that? We speak just like any other beast."
"Because, where this song was made, there aren't any talking foxes," Maut said.
The three stared at them in disbelief. "You're joking, right?" Mona said.
Sylvia shook her head. "Here." She pulled out her iPhone and turned on the music video.

Dog goes "woof"
Cat goes "meow"
Bird goes "tweet"
And mouse goes "squeek"

"Wh-what in Vulpuz's name are—"
"Humans," Sylvia cut in. "And they're cosplaying. That means dressing up in costume and acting out stories or pretending to be animals or historical or fictional people."

Cow goes "moo"
Frog goes "croak"
And the elephant goes "toot"
Ducks say "quack"
And fish go "blub"
And the seal goes "ow ow ow"

But there's one sound
That no one knows
What does the fox say?

"Ring-ding-ding-ding-dingeringeding!
Gering-ding-ding-ding-dingeringeding!
Gering-ding-ding-ding-dingeringeding!"
What the fox say?

The three gawked. "We-we-we most definitely don't say that!"

"Wa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pow!
Wa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pow!
Wa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pow!"
What the fox say?

"Or that!"

"Hatee-hatee-hatee-ho!
Hatee-hatee-hatee-ho!
Hatee-hatee-hatee-ho!"
What the fox say?

"Joff-tchoff-tchoffo-tchoffo-tchoff!
Tchoff-tchoff-tchoffo-tchoffo-tchoff!
Joff-tchoff-tchoffo-tchoffo-tchoff!"
What the fox say?

Big blue eyes
Pointy nose
Chasing mice
And digging holes
Tiny paws
Up the hill
Suddenly you're standing still

Your fur is red
So beautiful
Like an angel in disguise
But if you meet
A friendly horse

"What's a horse?" Mona asked the other two.
"I'm assuming that...thing," Mykola said, pointing to the horse in the music video.

Will you communicate by
Mo-o-o-o-orse?
Mo-o-o-o-orse?
Mo-o-o-o-orse?

"What's morse?"
"A type of long-distance communication that's made entirely of beeps," Sylvia explained.
"How does anybeast understand it?" Machus asked, practically slack-jawed.
"Well, it's a code. And you're taught that different numbers and lengths stand for letters and numbers."

How will you speak to that
Ho-o-o-o-orse?
Ho-o-o-o-orse?
Ho-o-o-o-orse?
Ho-o-o-o-orse?

What does the fox say?

"Jacha-chacha-chacha-chow!
Chacha-chacha-chacha-chow!
Chacha-chacha-chacha-chow!"
What the fox say?

"Fraka-kaka-kaka-kaka-kow!
Fraka-kaka-kaka-kaka-kow!
Fraka-kaka-kaka-kaka-kow!"
What the fox say?

"Their dance moves are terrible," Mona snarked.

"A-hee-ahee ha-hee!
A-hee-ahee ha-hee!
A-hee-ahee ha-hee!"

"That sounds like they've lost it," Machus said.
Mykola shrugged. "It seems like they have."

What the fox say?

"A-oo-oo-oo-ooo!
Woo-oo-oo-ooo!"

"We do not howl."

What does the fox say?

The secret of the fox
Ancient mystery
Somewhere deep in the woods
I know you're hiding
What is your sound?
Will we ever know?
Will always be a mystery
What do you say?

You're my guardian angel
Hiding in the woods
What is your sound?
(Wa-wa-way-do, wub-wid-bid-dum-way-do, wa-wa-way-do)

"Oh Vulpuz, this fox is an embarrassment to our kind." Machus put a paw over his eyes.
"This whole video's an embarrassment to our kind," Mona grumbled.

Will we ever know? (Bay-budabud-dum-bam)
I want to (Mama-dum-day-do) I want to, I want to know!
(Abay-ba-da bum-bum bay-do)

"Good."
"Freakin'."
"Vulpuz."

Fin

[The Grey Coincidence]

This is probably the best songfic I've ever read XD

Coincidentally I wrote something similar-ish a few years back, mind if I post?

[Mara the Wolf]

Put it in a separate topic, Grey. But no, I don't mind.

[Ingrid]

I have seen that before but not paid close attention. There is a cringey frisson to be felt when the fox finally comes and speaks. I guess it's an accomplished piece, in that sense.

[One-Eye the wildcat]

Noting, he's dead.