WarriorOfMossFlower and Griffen's story in the making. do not read please.

Started by Griffen, June 19, 2012, 03:38:12 AM

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Griffen


WarriorOfMossflower

I don't see why not. So do you want to start off on one of your characters POV?
In process of rekindling my love for Redwall.

Griffen

sure... uhh when you add a new character make a brief profile so i can imagine him/her better for the story.

i have to go, will post later... if you want to post you can.

lets use this if you talking out of the story line.
OOSL:

and this if your back in it.
BISL:

so we dont get confuzzeled haha

WarriorOfMossflower

In process of rekindling my love for Redwall.

WarriorOfMossflower

OOSL: K, guess I'll give it a shot... but this is not a final copy, only a draft, okay?

BISL:
Prologue/Chapter 1

"What's the meaning of all this blinkin' commotion, wot? Can't a bod get a jolly bit o' peace an' quiet after a long flippin' day o' patrollin'?"
A young haremaid by the name of Praygrace twitched her ears reprovingly at the speaker, a tall, handsome hare, as he descended the steps.
"We've all had a long day, Brycequin De Fanxy. The gallopers have just found somethin', they're bringin' the chap in here now."
Brycequin De Fanxy joined her, still rubbing sleep from his eyes. He peered at the figure the scouts bore between them, and rubbed his eyes again to make sure he wasn't dreaming. "Oh, corks, it's a bally squirrel! How'd a poor young beast like that un wind up on the beach, eh, wot?"
"'E h'appears to be h'unconscious, laddie buck. We'd best get 'im h'up to Lady Smiller's chambers, h'immediately, h'I say."
Praygrace clutched the sergeant's paws as he turned to ascend the stairs. "What'll become of the poor beast, Sarge sah?"
Sergeant Radgen was not a soft-hearted creature, but he was always kind to the pretty young haremaid. "Hush yourself now, pretty young lass, we'll get h'it sorted h'out. The Lady will deal with 'im, you'll see. Now, h'all you blinkin' Long Patrollers, h'its rise an' shine bright'n'early t'morrow morn, so git back to your beds h'unless ye fancy findin' yourself h'on a flippin' fizzer so fast your paws don't touch the jolly h'old floor, wot wot!"
The hares scurried up to the baracks in hushed silence. With Praygrace still holding his paws, the Sergeant made his way up to the Badger Lady of Salamandastron's chambers.

OOSL: I'll pause for a moment to give you the new characters.
Praygrace--a pretty young haremaid often concerned for others, though she's a deadly shot with a lance or spear.

Brycequin De Fanxy--a young warrior, and a loyal friend of Praygrace. He's great with a sword, and always willing to help creatures in need. Tall and handsome

Sergeant Radgen--a Long Patrol sergeant with patchy grey-and-white fur. Wields a sabre, and is not a soft-hearted beast.

Lady Smiller--an ancient Badger Lady, old but wise, with huge amber eyes

S'all I can write for tonight, maybe more tomorrow.
In process of rekindling my love for Redwall.

Griffen

thats awesome, im not good with speech like that, so you might have to change it.

will post later, good job.

Griffen

OOSL:

just incase you didn't understand they meant. OOSL=(out of story line) BISL=(back in story line)

ok so what i picture for the opening scene for the first chapter is the sun coming up, the light wakes up the hatchlings. all that is running threw their mind is "how to fly". sound good? here is how it might look

ruff draft...

BISL:

The sun rose far into the distance, its brightness shined upon the nest up in the willow tree. Glosh opened his eyes as soon as the beam of sunshine hit them. "Its here! Its here!" He yelled while jumping around the nest, making sure that he'd wake up his father. "Calm yourself child!" Yettle responded while greeting the new day with a yawn. Myth heard the commotion and jumped in with her brother, Yettle smiled, today was a day to be remembered, the day his children would learn to fly. Timmer was still sound asleep, laying in bed covered by his blankets when pillows started to beat on him. "eigh!! cut it out!" He yelled while springing from his bed waving his own pillow around.

OOSL: while i was writing that i thought of something really funny :)

(the following doesn't happen i just thought it would be really funny.)

The three of them kept hitting each other till the pillows ripped, feathers covered the floor. everyone gasped at the sight of them "oh my..." whispered Timmer. bahahahaha

BISL:

After a quick tussle with the hatchlings and a fast breakfast, Yettle started to get ready his children to fly. "ok, so first things first... well.. just do as i do." He said while spreading his wings and glided down to another branch on the willow.

OOSL: gonna finish this little draft latter, kinda sleepy.

Griffen

hey im just gonna have to work on this in my spare time (very slowly bit by bit) because one of my RP's are about to start and i have other stuff i have to do as well.

WarriorOfMossflower

In process of rekindling my love for Redwall.