Stormford: a Redwall short story feedback

Started by AnnaofRedwall, July 19, 2013, 10:58:25 PM

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AnnaofRedwall

July 19, 2013, 10:58:25 PM Last Edit: July 19, 2013, 11:01:11 PM by AnnaofRedwall
once again, Stormford is about Orlanda's home and her journey until she meets Holly and Corin. The actual story is here:http://redwallabbey.com/forum/index.php?topic=4430.msg210340#msg210340 Feedback can be writtenon this topic
I hate it when a package says 'easy open' and you need a scissors, a knife, a crowbar, a gun, and a light-saber to open it.

Captain Tammo

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August 10, 2013, 02:04:19 AM
Great prologue, it gets the reader hooked right off the bat!
"Cowards die a thousand times, a warrior only dies once. The spirits of all you have slain are watching you, Vilu Daskar, and they will rest in peace now that your time has come. You must die as you have lived, a coward to the last!" -Luke the warrior
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