How To Be A Seer

[Tiria Wildlough]

This is a oneshot I wrote a while back. Enjoy!

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Shulyra scurried past the hordebeasts drinking and gambling in the afternoon shade. Some of them hurled drunken insults and clods of dirt at the vixen, but most of them ignored her. Some of the more gullible ones were afraid of her, since she was the granddaughter of Kalya the Seer, who, it was said, could put spells on creatures, especially drunk vermin.

Kalya lived in a tent which she always put up a short distance away from the rest of the tents. She spent her time mixing concoctions and talking to herself. Shulyra respected her grandmother, but she sometimes wondered how the old vixen knew what was going to happen in the future. Kalya was always calm and collected when everybeast else was panicking. How did she know that it was going to turn out right in the end?

The young vixen entered Kalya's tent silently.

'What have ye come for?' said the seer without looking up.

'Well . . .' Shulyra was not sure how to ask her question, so she only said, 'Would ye really put a spell on those drunk layabouts out there?'

Kalya looked nettled. 'You callin' me a liar?'

There was an awkward silence.

'No,' said Shulyra, 'I just was wonderin' if you would do it.'

'Ye want me to?'

There was an even more awkward silence.

'I don't,' Shulyra managed to say. 'I just wondered if you could . . . if you'd really do it.'

Kalya frowned. 'I don't want t'do that, Shulyra. It ain't safe.'

'But could you, if you wanted to?'

The seer looked exasperated. 'That ain't none of your business.'

Shulyra was annoyed. She had not expected this kind of answer. But her curiosity was not satisfied, so she kept on.

'If you won't tell me that,' she said, 'tell me, what do seers do?'

Kalya was startled. What was the brat on about now?

'But how do ye know what's going to happen? Do all those shells an' things really tell you?'

The older vixen moved forward and slapped Shulyra's ears. 'What's gotten into ye? Why're ye comin' in here, askin' stupid questions?'

Shulyra glared. 'I ain't askin' stupid questions.'

Kalya sighed. 'You'll be sorry you asked.'

'No, I won't.'

'Yes you will.'

'I won't!'

'How do you know?' shouted the seer.

'I don't know, I just know!' yelled Shulyra. 'Can you tell me?'

Kalya scowled. 'If you think you're so clever, fine, I'll tell you. Listen.'

Shulyra listened. She couldn't believe that her surly grandmother was actually telling her what she wanted to know.

'Well, listen carefully, 'cos if'n ye don't hear properly, I ain't telling ye agin,' said Kalya. 'So, ye want t'know what seers do, eh?'

'Yes, what?'

Kalya looked squarely at Shulyra. Then she grinned slightly and said, 'Ever lied before?'

'What?'

'Seers is all about trickery. You tell beasts what they want to 'ear, but mix it up with what's likely to 'appen. You understand that?'

Shulyra nodded. 'So, you just guess things?'

'Mostly. Some things is real, but not everythin'. An' make sure you give everybeast a good scare.'

Shulyra realized that here was the answer to her original question. 'You mean . . . you can't put a spell on anybeast?'

'No, Shulyra. But it won't do to let 'em know that, eh? So, don't you dare tell anybeast, or I'll knock yer into next season. Got that?'

The young vixen nodded. 'But how do ye make sure you don't get caught?'

'Well, if it don't 'appen the way you said, whose fault is it, yores, or the person who made it 'appen wrong?'

[winifred]

I'm lovin' it already! Are you still writing it or do you have to post the rest still?

[Skipper]

Nice! Hope there is more to come.

[MatthiasMan]

 

[psybox]

its good, but psychologically, hoard owners who had a prediction from seers go wrong would probably be angry at the seers even if it isn't there fault, seeing as they where lied to.

[Redwaller]

Post more! Post more!

[Tiria Wildlough]

That was a oneshot, but I do want to write more about Shulyra and her impressionable-ness.

[MatthiasMan]

It was really funny but in a way cheesy.

[Captain Tammo]

I was scrolling through the fanfic directory and thought "Hm... This one looks neat!" Short, sweet, yet addresses something redwall fans have always thought about. Well done!

[Leatho Shellhound]

Yes, this was really good. 

[Osu]

Okay, I've got to say this is hands-down one of my absolute favorite fanfictions on this forum. It's just my type of humor, and the subject is perfect to base a story around. The characters were convincingly canon to my mind, especially Kalya -- I'd love to see more stories with her, haha. Grumpy old fibber, bet she's turned that horde wherever she wanted in the past. I'd like to see her start to put a spell on somebeast to freak 'em out, and the way the hordebeasts react to it.

And how and when did the "especially drunk vermin" suspicion come about? Bet that's a great story, lol! Great little ficlet altogether, two thumbs in the up position, yo!

[Feles]

 This topic is the one thing that always makes me go "wait what". because sometimes seers lie, sometimes they don't. like Mangiz in Mattemeo, Mangiz only lied once to Ironbeak about his sights to save his skin.

[Romsca]

That was so good!

[The Skarzs]

Why haven't I commented on this before? I read it, but never said anything.
Now I have said something, and now my life is complete. I can die in peace now.

Naw, but in all seriousness, this was pretty enjoyable.