Troddil Wedding

[James Gryphon]

Dear friends, we are gathered here today to join this young man and tree wholly in matrimony.

As Groddil has already clearly stated his intentions to wed, we'll count that as legally binding and skip past further vows.

By the authority invested in me as webmaster and acting administrator of the Loamhedge Abbey Forum, I pronounce you husband and treewife.

You may kiss the bride! Ah, sweet, sweet love!

[Ashleg]

Okay, what did I miss?
My pal's married to a tree now?

I think the most important question here is why.

[James Gryphon]

* James Gryphon shrugs

Love can be found in strange places. I don't pretend to understand Grododile's feelings; I'm just the officiating official.

[Chipster of Noonvale]

...

[James Gryphon]

Not going to; he already did.

[Jetthebinturong]

Hold on.  A human is going to marry a TREE?  Is this even legal?

Actually, yes probably. A woman got married to the Eiffel Tower once.

[Hickory]

* Sagetip cries tears of joy.

[Banya]

* Banya blows bubbles and congratulates the happy couple

[Delthion]

Hold on.  A human is going to marry a TREE?  Is this even legal?

Actually, yes probably. A woman got married to the Eiffel Tower once.

Really?

[Jetthebinturong]

She took it's name and everything.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erika_Eiffel

[Delthion]

...that was weird...

[Groddil]

Cripes.

"Now hang on. This isn't wedding weather. This is too cloudy! Hold on."

* Groddil pulls out a device and pushes a button. It starts pouring down with rain, and a bolt of lightning hits the tree, setting it on fire.

"Whoops, wrong way..."

* Groddil quickly changes the weather to sunny.

"Oh NO. My wife is on FIRE! I MUST be a good husband and SAVE it!"

* Groddil throws oil on the tree, causing it to burn hotter.

"Oh NO. That wasn't WATER. Oh, my POOR, POOR, tree."

* The Tree burns to ash.