A Hero's Sacrifice (Extravaganza Fanfic Competition)

[Kade Rivok]

Wrote this brand new for the competition.  I'll also be posting this on my own writing page.  It isn't a long piece, but I hope you all like it 

Spoiler

Falgor stepped up to the overlook, a slight limp evident in his gait, and gazed across the open expanse before him.  An uneven strath spread out into the distance with sporadically occurring trees dotting the land and hillscapes that constantly crinkled themselves into small, rocky ridges.  It was a brilliant spring morning; puffy, white clouds hung in the sky and the sun shone warmly over the nearby mountaintops, covered in green.  All of this beauty, however, was lost on the mouse as he gazed downwards.  A specific landscape, a single ridgeline, was all that entered into his eyes.  It was as if he could see them again, figures of his past that seemed as real as they had once been, many seasons ago. 

A small contingent of warrior mice broke through a treeline to the east, all strong and outfitted for battle, but clearly tired.  Falgor was among them, and after a distance he shouted out orders to his clansbeasts.  The mice created a defensive wall facing the direction they'd just come from as a row of archers formed up behind them.  He stood in the front lines and watched grimly as vermin began pouring out of the trees.  Then, with a shout, he pointed his sword toward the enemy and the air came alive with the hissing of arrows, shortly followed by the agonized screams of the foebeast as fox, rat, and weasel fell transfixed by the wooden shafts, never to rise again.  It wasn't enough, though, and soon the incoming tide was upon them as blade clashed upon blade and the horrifying noise of battle and death sounded across the valley. 

The mice fought hard, their line holding strong and true as wave after wave crashed against them, but slowly they were pushed back by the sheer force of numbers.  As their line inched in retreat, they edged closer and closer to a steep drop off behind them, their backs up against a wall.  Falgor's comrades began to fall to the enemy one by one, and he cursed Balgut, the tall weasel that stood behind the rest, commanding the forces arrayed against them.  If only they could somehow get to him, the rest of the vermin would surely break and flee.  As he thought this, he noticed the rain of deadly shafts dying away and looked back in worry.  The arrows had all been spent.  A rat in front of him took advantage of this momentary distraction to slash at him, and Falgor fell, crying out in pain as the vermin blade cruelly sliced across his thigh.  Grinning maliciously, the rat swung downwards, attempting to finish him off, but was cut short as a brown, female mouse leaped forward and felled the vermin with a single thrust of her blade.

"Make way!"  She shouted, as she dragged Falgor away from the front.  When they reached the back, she quickly began to bandage the gash on his leg.  He shook his head, angry at himself. 

"I'm sorry, Marle; I got distracted like a dibbun.  This is the last thing we need...."

Tying off the bandage, Marle gave him a dazzling smile and put a paw on his cheek.  "It's ok Falgor, we'll make it through this yet."

He couldn't help but smile back as he put his paw over hers, "Aye, we have reason to, after all.  Now more than ever."  He let himself linger there for just a moment before, with great effort, forcing himself back to reality.  Letting out a grunt, he pushed himself onto his footpaws and put weight on the injured leg.  Marle moved to help him, but he held out a paw to stop her; pain was coursing through him, but it wasn't anything he couldn't manage.  He looked across the battlefield at Balgut once more before nodding to himself, having come to a decision.  If they were to end this, the weasel had to be dealt with.  Gritting his teeth through the fire burning in his thigh, he limped over to the line of bowmice, "Draw your blades and steel yourselves, my friends.  We're finishing this now."  Marle gave him a questioning glance as the rasping sound of sword on sheath sounded in unison, and Falgor continued.  "Our target is that cad over there," he declared, jabbing his sword towards Balgut, "We've weakened their forces a fair bit, so we have a chance.  We're going to charge through our lines and punch straight through theirs, right down the middle where he's hiding.  Then we'll slay the black-hearted beast where he stands.  Once he's dealt with, the rest of that rabble'll run with their tails tucked.  Vermin always do." 

Falgor was proud of the clansbeasts before him, not a creature among them had even a hint of fear in their eyes, and he felt a weight on his heart as he knew many of them wouldn't survive this battle.  Recklessly charging straight through the enemy line just to kill a single vermin?  It was near suicidal.  But, in order to end this battle before they were all slaughtered, it had to be done.  He didn't dare meet Marle's gaze as he turned to lead the mice forward in preparation for the charge, but he stumbled as his leg spasmed on the first step and he fell down once more.  Growling loudly, the warrior attempted to stand, but crumpled as his leg continued to disobey him.  Anger blazed through him, now wasn't the time for this sort of weakness, he had a job to accomplish.  Suddenly, time seemed to slow to a crawl as Marle knelt in front of him, putting her paws on the sides of his face.  As he gazed into her deep emerald eyes, she gave him a small smile.

"It'll be ok."

Falgor gazed at her, confused, as she stood and rallied the troops to her.   "No..." he said, the word escaping his lips as a strangled whisper, the dawning of realization twisting his face with despair.  Then with a warcry, Marle led them into a charge, her face locked and determined, her mind intent on taking Balgut's head.  A cry tore through his throat as she disappeared into the vermin horde, a cry that sounded over the noise of battle, a cry that would continue sounding in his heart for the rest of his life.

The warrior mouse snapped back to the present as he felt tears on his cheeks, and found himself still gazing down on the ridge from above, reliving memories he'd tried for years to forget. He quickly wiped the moisture away from his face as he heard the sound of twigs snapping behind him and turned.  Approaching was a young mouse, just shy of adulthood, who called out to him.  "Dad, we've been traveling for days," his son said as he walked up to the overlook alongside Falgor, "just where are we going?"  The young mouse seemed about to say more when he paused, gazing across the landscape that spread out before him.  Though the morning was temperate, he visibly shivered as if catching a sudden chill.  "What... is this place?"

At his son's question, more memories flooded in and Falgor saw himself holding Marle's lifeless body in his arms.  After the successful charge, the vermin had broken and dispersed just as he'd planned.  The fight was over, the battle was won.  But, as he dragged himself forward through the aftermath, barely able to walk, he found her.  She lay face up to the sky, once bright eyes glazed in death, but with that same small smile still gracing her features, and he could hear her voice as an echo in his mind. 

"It'll be ok."

He collapsed in grief and hugged her close to himself, sobbing uncontrollably.  He didn't know if it was minutes or hours that he knelt there, but he wept 'till he had no tears and no voice with which left to cry. 

He came back to reality and remembered his son's question.  The phrase 'This is where your mother died,' almost left Falgor's lips, but... that wasn't quite right, was it?  He remembered something else... he remembered that lying next to Marle was Balgut, her sword shoved deep into his chest.  No, this wasn't where Marle had died.

"This... this is where your mother became a hero."

[close]

[shisteer of nothing much]

This is a beautiful story, Kade. I feel like crying for Falgor's loss and Marle's victory. It is very moving tale and well written. Thanks for sharing and God bless!

[Ebantu the Kararehe]

You write beautifully, Kade! I love stories that make me cry.

[The Skarzs]

Very nice, short and bittersweet. I really liked some of the articulation and description, especially in the beginning. Makes me wonder if I'll ever be able to come up with phrases as good as "hillscapes that constantly crinkled themselves into small, rocky ridges".
Well done!

[Kade Rivok]

Thanks y'all!  I'm still working on making good descriptions; it really doesn't come naturally to me.  Usually the way I describe things in writing tends to be repetitive, so I always have to go back and touch them up, trying to find more interesting ways to say things