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Dino Whisper

Started by Dalek Fur, February 08, 2013, 07:23:03 PM

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Dalek Fur

All right, I was thinking of creating a book called Dino Whisper that I got the idea from a dream and wanted opinions on the prolog:

A little dimorphodon peered into a small hut that normally held two people, but as of today, it was housing three humans. Swishing his tail, the little flying dinosaur looked thoughtfully at the newborn human. In his short existence, the newborn flier had never seen humans up close, let alone personal. He looked back to see if his parents were flying towards him or not; as far as he could tell, they were still looking for him. He snapped his head back quickly as the newborn human started giggling. It was pointing at him. He ducked his head down to avoid the parents spotting him, but it was too late, they already saw him.

"Hello," one of the humans said softly, straining to see the dimorphodon in the ceiling beams. The dino cocked his head. What did the human say? He looked down at the human to see it smiling up at him. The human sounded female-probably the mother- and seemed friendly enough. The other must be the father. He glided down from the roof until he landed on something sturdy. It was near the newborn human; the dimorphodon lowered his snout to sniff it, at that same exact moment, the newborn raised its paw to touch the snout.

"My word," the other human gasped. "Is she supposed to do that?"

The dimorphodon took the fleshy pink human in. She wasn't wailing or cowering like any other newborn out there. Taking a chance, he spoke in his language, "Hello, I am Rõtal. Who are you?"

The newborn looked at Rõtal for a few seconds and just babbled. Rõtal sighed and pulled away, guessing she won't talk for a while. It was then the newborn did something that Rõtal won't ever forget: she cried a dimorphodon cry.

"What in the world?" the father asked as the newborn did another dimorphodon cry before yawning. "How did she learn how to do that?"

"I-I don't know," the mother replied as she gaped at her daughter.

Rõtal was scared, he didn't know how the newborn was making sounds a dimorphodon could only do, but here she was, doing the impossible.

"Bubbles," the newborn growled playfully as she tried to stretch for Rõtal again, but not finding him, she started crying.
   
Rõtal narrowed his eyes; bubbles? What were 'bubbles'? Or was that her name? He looked up towards 'Bubbles' parents to see what they were doing, but they had left the room as he pondered this. Rõtal wanted to do something, but he felt like that might get him into trouble; when he heard shouting from the father.
   
"I told you dinosaurs were no good schemers!" the male human was yelling. "But no, people hardly listened to me; and now look! They turned our newborn baby into a freak. Those lizard breaths are up to something. I will find out."
   
The dinosaur flinched as a door slammed shut and the mother ran back in and touched the dinosaur's snout.
   
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," the mother said, pushing Rõtal away. "But you have to go."
   
Rõtal was confused yet again as she did this, the baby was still crying for Rõtal as he climbed onto the ceiling beams and pretended to fly off. He looked down slightly to see the mother pick up Bubbles and ran out with her. Deciding to heed the mother's action, he yelped for his mother...

Romsca

That's great so far! LOL is her name Bubbles?

Dalek Fur

No, it's not bubbles, Rõtal only thought her name was bubbles because she growled in dimorphodon speech. If you want, I can upload chapters as I go along.

Romsca


W0NWILL

I have several questions about the relationship between the dinosaurs and humans. The parents don't seem alarmed that a 'dimorphodon' is bending over their child, so there has to be some sort of trust or alliance between them or the parents would be waving axes at Rötal or something, correct? But one moment they're saying 'hello', and letting the dino get close to their daughter, and the next they're calling dinosaurs 'lizard breaths'. What's up with that? But, overall, it's well-writen and has decent grammar, just a few content and backstory confusions.

Dalek Fur

Okay, well the humans and dinosaurs do have an ageement, the mother is alright with the dinosaurs but the father hates dinosaurs; besides, the dimorphodon is only like one foot two or something making it a very small dinosaur plus it's a fish eater. When I go back to it, I'll change it up some. Also, the parents were plenty suprised to hear there daughter do a dimporhodon cry.

Romsca

What does a dimorphodon (spelling?) cry sound like?

PrimroseWarrior

dude, this is great! are you posting it to fanfic.net or anything?
"Every fairytale needs a good old-fashioned villain. You need me, or you're nothing."
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