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Holt Arundell feedback

Started by KitrallStreamrippler, February 24, 2013, 07:54:56 PM

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KitrallStreamrippler

I'm writing a fanfic called Holt Arundell. It's mainly about an otter (whose name I took for my username), a hare, and a couple of other characters who journey to Salamandastron in search of the sword of Martin the Warrior. However, while they're gone, a vermin horde is planning an attack on Redwall Abbey.

If anyone reads it, please post your opinions on it here. Also, if you have any consructive critiscism, I would be happy to hear it. Thank you!

P.S. - I'm planning on making it really long; I'm not very good at writing short stories...
A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day. An hour of woes and shattered shields, when the age of men comes crashing down! But it is not this day! This day we fight!

Mattio


KitrallStreamrippler

#2
Thank you. I'm stuck right now, though. I have to figure out a name for several Guosim and their Log a Log.

EDIT: Yay! I got a few names that should work.
A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day. An hour of woes and shattered shields, when the age of men comes crashing down! But it is not this day! This day we fight!

Mattio

hey I rally like it but I think I accidently missed reading a chapter cant remember any badgers but anyway do you think you could post in this thread when another chapter is up

Tam and Martin



If you wanna chat, PM me :) I'd love to talk with any of you!

Instagram: aaron.stott2000
SC: ayayron2000

KitrallStreamrippler

Thanks! But- I hit writer's block and skipped ahead again. Ugh. Y'see, I'm good at writing beginnings, interesting parts, and endings (sort of). Middle parts? Not so much- my brain kinda shuts down on me.
@Mattio: I don't think you missed anything- I mentioned the badger lord, but I haven't actually introduced him yet. I should probably do that soon.
A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day. An hour of woes and shattered shields, when the age of men comes crashing down! But it is not this day! This day we fight!

Mattio


KitrallStreamrippler

#7
Oh, I made an important edit to the story, and just wanted to clarify it here so that it won't cause confusion later. I said that Rizuel Deathclaw was a wildcat, but as I've been developing him and his personality, I decided that he needs to be a fox. He wouldn't work as a wildcat, unfortunately, but you'll see why when I tell more about him. Sorry about that; I should have thought it out better... I won't do this again- I've been developing characters and story more before I post it.
A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day. An hour of woes and shattered shields, when the age of men comes crashing down! But it is not this day! This day we fight!


KitrallStreamrippler

Thank you. It sorta died though... (I think of stories as being "alive", and that they should hold surprises for everyone, even their author, if that makes any sense whatsoever. Anyway, this just wasn't going where it needed to anymore. I can try to keep it going, I guess. We'll just see what happens. :))
A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day. An hour of woes and shattered shields, when the age of men comes crashing down! But it is not this day! This day we fight!