Seasons of War

[ZaniatheBlack]

Ok, first thing's first, I'm just going to get to the point. I have written a 200-some page story on looseleaf called Seasons of War, Book 1, Bloodclaw. It has been my pride and joy of all my writings since I was in 5th grade and I am now typing it up on my computer in hopes that it will be published. Even though 200 pages seems like a lot, it will probably take 400 to finish the book. It tells the story of a cat named Bloodclaw, who goes on a great journey across mountains, oceans and deserts to lead his army against an evil force that calls themselves the Kattientals (Cat-ee-en-tals). It is not exactly a Redwall fan fiction, I know, but it in some aspects it's a lot like Redwall. I am going to post a few chapters to see if you guys like it or not. I just really need feedback on it, to make it the best it can be for the publishers and I'll keep you updated if you want.

---ZaniatheBlack

[Romsca]

This sounds extremely interesting! 

[ZaniatheBlack]

Thanks  would you like to read it?

[Romsca]

Sure!

[ZaniatheBlack]

Here it is then: (Just the Prologue and Chapter 1) Gone Off the mouse sounds like Gonff but Gone Off is an expert spy, not a thief, just in case anybody thinks I'm talking about Gonff. Another thing, Riki is not Rikki-tikki-tavi.

Prologue
         A young kitten padded along a dirty road. The kitten's gray tabby fur was flattened by the winds of the night carrying with it the scents of fallen leaves. The dark forest around her murmured and rustled in the wind, the trees almost seeming to be considering the new development. The kitten angled her ears back and squinted against the breeze. The forest was dark and ominous to a kitten without a mother by its side. She dare not venture away from the road for fear of never finding her way back. The tabby kitten kept walking, confidently, hiding her fright of her black surroundings. She knew if she let go of her confidence and cowered away from the road her small quest would never be fulfilled. She had come this far she was not going to turn back now. So the tiny gray tabby plodded on for what seemed like hours until the path was so thin it could barely be distinguished from the rest of the forest. Finally she spotted a shack, not dingy and wrecked like an old shack in the woods ought to be, but strong and determined against the wind and weather of so many forgotten years. The kitten's heart leapt when she saw it, so it's true, I've found it! It does exist! she thought. More cautiously she approached the door and took hold of the knocker. Rap rap rap. A low, calm voice issued from inside, "come in." The kitten hesitated then pushed gently, the door swung open wide revealing a cozy room. On the left wall a fireplace crackled and burned lighting the whole place, a large red armchair was positioned in front of it. In one corner was a bed and in the other hung an array of magnificent weapons as well as things that the kitten didn't half believe existed. "Welcome," said the same low tone of voice as before. The tabby jumped. In the armchair sat a mongoose. Its fur was a bright sorrel but looked worn and old. He wore a snakeskin belt and his face had a knowing look about it. But the eyes, they sparkled like stars on a clear night, clever and piercing to the bone. The kitten gulped. "Ha ha ha, ah, don't be afraid, come and warm yourself by the fire," the mongoose smiled. The kitten walked over and stammered, "are you . . ."  The mongoose sat back in his chair, "save your breath little one, I know why you have come, sit on my lap and stare into the fire and I shall tell you the Legends of the Seasons of War Era, when there was hardly a moment of peace, not a fraction of a second was spent unless something exciting and thrilling was happening, oh yes I shall tell you the Legends as they have never been told before . . .
           
Chapter 1
I looked out from behind a bush and dashed to the Ancient Oak. I squeezed inside a hole between the roots and padded down a dirt tunnel. At the other end was a small cave with a tiny pool of water and a soft moss covered floor. In a corner there was also a boulder covering a tunnel used for emergencies. A sorrel mongoose sat near the bubbling pool. "Riki, I'm back," I meowed. "Hi, Bloodclaw seen any snakes?" asked Riki hopefully. "Nope, sorry Riki," I replied. "Oh," said Riki sadly turning back to the pool. I looked around, "where's Gone Off and Thalme?" "Gone Off is out spying and checking on a few things, and Thalme went for a walk," answered Riki. Just then the same two creatures came tumbling down the tunnel. "Hey guys!" Riki smiled as Gone Off got to his feet. "What's up?" Gone Off said brushing off his fur. "What did you find out?" I inquired reaching for a sack that Gone Off had brought in. "Ah, ah, ah!" Gone yelped as he pulled away the sack. "Hold your horses, this is for later!" Gone Off shook a finger at him. "Sounds like someone's getting greedy to me," Riki chuckled. Gone Off whirled around, "How dare you, you snake hurler!" Riki retaliated, "don't call me that greedy belly! Besides, I don't see you offering us anything". Thalme and I started laughing. Gone Off hurled the sack into my chest, knocking me over. That was enough to set Gone Off and Riki off laughing as well. When they calmed down I went down to business. "I found signs of a Kattiental horde round back beyond the hedge, it's getting dark now so they should be here tomorrow morning at the most," Gone Off reported. "Good work, we'll have to prepare as soon as we finish our supper," I opened the sack. It had been filled with drink, cheese, catnip and berries, "I knew you would like the catnip you two" commented Gone Off to the cats. So we began eating. I had had the feeling for a while now that we were going to have to leave soon, probably way sooner than I had expected. I took a lick of catnip and put the rest in my pack. I glanced at Riki eating berries out of the sack. All my forces, the Canentiels, are scattered about the country in small teams like mine. I know finding my old, lost companions might be tough but I just have to find all of them, it is crucial in our war against the Kattientals. In our latest battle my final order was to retreat and scatter in teams before we all got killed. It was a sad day for the Canentiels, for then I lost almost all contact with my forces. But now I am gathering us all together again through one message; 'Find your own kind and unite before the sands of time run out' in other words, we all meet in the Linaran Desert, I just hope the teams will be able to figure out the riddle. The Kattientals' leader is out to destroy me, his name is Chalchien, he is a giant lizard, one of the last of it's kind, covered in green ice-cold scales with big teeth and huge claws. His list of cronies goes on and on in hordes, stoats, wolves, crows, martens, snakes, foxes, ferrets, weasels, rats . . . pretty much any creature willing to join his side. Even some of my forces join, maybe because they think they are joining the side that will surely win, or maybe because they think they can slip away right under my nose, but you can't force everyone to stay. My side is called the Canentiels, Thalme may join us but she has to become a warrior first, change her name and earn a weapon. I rifled through my pack again, "I hope I still have that map." "I love new adventures!" Thalme jumped up in anticipation, starting up conversation. With the others talking in excited tones, Riki rolled a stone away from a small pit on the floor of the cave. Inside we had been storing food, but since we wouldn't be back for quite a while we divided it between us and packed it away. "Whoa, I think I have enough to last me an entire year!" exclaimed Riki. "Well, we'll need it, got your dagger?" I asked him strapping mine on. "Yep!" replied Riki lifting it up. We all had daggers except Thalme who of course wasn't an official Canentiel.
(daggers picture)
I slipped my dagger into its scabbard on my belt. I had packed as much food as I had room for, sleep musts, writing materials and a folded up tent canvas. After each of my team members were all packed and starting to settle down for the evening, a rumbling sound came from outside. "What's that?" wondered Gone listening intently. "I'll go check," I meowed. I pulled open a hatch in the ceiling of the cave and a rope ladder tumbled down to me. I climbed it into an upper part of the tree trunk and peered out of a small hole so I could see outside. A large party of rodents were standing out there at the base of the tree. A red fox was standing by the entrance to the tree shouting, "I know you're in there, Bloodclaw, come out or I'll dice this tree up until you surrender your scruffy little hide to Chalchien the grand!" "Let's get em'," Riki said pounding his fists together as I climbed back down. "No," I ordered firmly, "its me they want, you guys take the emergency tunnel." "Are you sure you'll be all right?" Thalme worried. "Yes Thalme I'll be fine, don't worry," I smiled. Riki rolled the boulder away from the emergency tunnel and the three disappeared from sight. I scrambled back up the ladder and screamed, "you dirty bee brains, capture this!" I unsheathed my huge black claws and smashed the wood to splinters, making a hole in the middle of the trunk. The army below didn't have a chance to react as I launched myself out of the hole and landed precariously in the branches of the next tree over. I crouched on a branch as the raid party rushed over and took a leap over the hedge filled with nettles, landing awkwardly on a bush just on the other side. I frantically untangled myself and dashed to where the emergency tunnel exit was. The stone over the exit moved and Thalme, Gone and Riki crawled out, perfect timing. "Hurry get to the ditch!" I shouted. We dashed out into the open and slid into the roadside ditch. The raid party crashed through the hedge onto the open ground we had just crossed, we had barely made it without being seen. "Get down," I whispered. We crouched as low as we could and crawled along on our bellies, the dirt brushing our fur. But Gone couldn't resist a peek and stood up. "No, Gone they'll see you!" Thalme hissed urgently. But it was too late, Gone had already been spotted. The horde ran toward them. I whipped out my bow and began firing, "run!" I ran too, when the party had been distracted by the arrows. Riki, being a mongoose, had short legs and could hardly keep up with us. Suddenly he tripped and fell into the dust. I grabbed him by the nape of his neck just in time before a rally of spears pierced the dirt where Riki had been lying moments earlier. I swung him onto my back and caught up with Thalme. We ran on, Gone in the lead, Thalme and I side by side, close behind. I felt the wind rushing through my fur and the blood pounding hot in my ears. The dust being torn up from the dry earth stung my eyes and covered my fur, getting inside my nose and making me sneeze. I would've felt good to run so fast if a horde of Kattientals wasn't chasing us. Riki held on tight, clutching my fur in his paws. We ran and ran and ran until the noise of the raid party could not be heard anymore. Legs weak and covered in dust we spotted an abandoned house up ahead and crammed ourselves through a small hole under the porch. Gone managed to squeeze through an cracked window and steal some peanuts and crackers from inside. Thalme and I split a sandwich while Gone and Riki gobbled up the peanuts and crackers. After we had finished I pulled a blanket out of my pack. Thalme was the first to fall asleep. Riki and Gone were sharing the big blanket and they too soon were sleeping peacefully. Once I was positive they were asleep, I pulled out a piece brown cloth, sewn up together with thread and stuffed with down, I smiled at my old stuffed cat toy. Surprisingly sleep did not come easy for me, even though I was bone weary from running. I tossed and turned, wondering how I would find Shamrock and Muya again after that horrible battle, they were the only ones who knew about the legends of the giant lizards, particularly how to destroy them. I finally contented myself with stroking the stuffed toy's ears. And then thought about Thalme, I glanced at her sleeping peacefully not a foot or two away. I felt my heart begin to pound in my chest and was embarrassed to discover my cheeks burned with heat and blushed. I watched her, all my problems forgotten, until my eyes drooped and closed. When suddenly a golden brown and silver she-cat emerged out of a world of mist, and I realized, I was dreaming.

Pronunciations:
Thalme (Thall-may)
Muya (Meeooyah)
Kattientals (Cat-tee-en-tuls)
Canentiels (Kah-nen-tee-els)
Chalchien (Chall-chee-en)
Linaran (Lyn-ar-an)