Can I have feed back?

[Taggerung The Otter]

     So...Here is my idea for a RP. Redwall is having a feast. Vermin had not shown up for twenty seasons. Weapons had been forgotton. Everything was great and beast were happy. Friar Spike, a hedgehog, and Sister Mary, a vole, were carrying a huge pot of Otter's Hotroot Soup. Then all of a sudden a arrow with a note attched flew through a window and stuck itself three feet from the Abbot. The note said:

Redwall you have until the sun sets to surrender to us and become our slaves.
If you do not all of your young ones will be in danger.

    The abbot looked frighted and just as he was about to speak a otter stood up.
"Redwall listen to me" he said "My name is Taggerung. I have a proposition for you. I know a secret passage way out of Redwall. It was used many seasons ago as a lair for an owl. I propose that I take that passage out and gather up reiforcements to take on this mysterios force."The abbot like the idea of this an agreed to it.


So how did you like it?

[Skipper]

well i haven't read the sable queen but from what i gather it sounds like that, and i kind of like how you used the tunnel from doomwyte

[Icefire]

Quick Question: Why do they seem to give up so quickly and just run off?

[Muse]

I think it needs some polishing, but the idea is solid and creative. The Drugoonclois are with you!

[Taggerung The Otter]

I also am taking ideas from u guys