The Lay of the Ottermaid

[Wylder Treejumper]

Here's an epic poem I started writing some time ago; I thought it be interesting to release it- well, parts of it, anyways. I'll continue writing the story in ballad form, and releasing it as I finish.

Lay of the Ottermaid

Isabelle the ottermaid
Picked flowers by the sea,
The Lily and the Marigold,
The delicate Pansy,

For that day she would come of age,
Within that very hour,
And for the celebration then,
She chose her favorite flowers

When she looked up, to her surprise
She saw a ship that rested
Upon the sand down on the shore
Near by the waves that crested

She lay her flowers down and ran
And climbed aboard the ship,
And all around the tokens lay
Of its fateful final trip

The hull was stoved, the rudder snapped,
The mast was broke in two
And on the deck no vestige lay
Of the fated former crew

As Isabelle began to leave
She heard a quiet groan,
From underneath the ship's main deck
Came somebeast's painéd moan

So Isabelle climbed down below,
And soon she found the source,
A grievous wounded otterlad
Who'd groaned 'till he was hoarse

Then Isabelle did bring him home
And laid him in her bed,
She pulled her blanket o'er him,
Laid her pillow 'neath his head

She cleansed his wounds and bandaged them,
She toiled hard and long,
And while she nursed and cared for him,
She sang her favorite song

Coram woke late in the morn
Unto her serenade
But knew not from that day he'd lose
His heart to th'ottermaid

Weak as he was from countless days
Spent tossed upon the seas,
He tried, but failed, to stand alone
And fell upon his knees

Isabelle then raised him up,
With gentle paw and look,
And from the moment their eyes met,
Coram's heart she took.

*****

[Banya]

This gave me goosebumps, and that doesn't happen often.  It's beautiful, Wylder!

[The Skarzs]

Oh, very well composed, Wylder!

[Ashleg]

Good job!

[Gonff the Mousethief]

Wylder! That was amazing! It was captivating, flowing, and just a wonderful read. Great job!

[Skyblade]

Nice poem, and I hope you post more!

[Lady Amber]

This is great, Wylder! I hope to see more soon!

[Cornflower MM]

This gave me goosebumps, and that doesn't happen often.  It's beautiful, Wylder!

^^ Can't say it any better than that!!

[Captain Tammo]

Beautifully written, Wylder

[The Skarzs]

I just wanted to resurface this, because it's an incredible poem.

[Lady Amber]

Any chance you'll be updating this soon, Wylder?

[Wylder Treejumper]

Ah, I'd forgotten about this! Actually, I have different parts of it already written; but the story needs to be finished for them to be unified and released- I'm missing several large chunks of story. I'll work on it!

No promises about how soon I can get it out, though- my time tends to be quite limited.

[Dannflower Reguba]

       Well, I know I'm late to the party, but this was very well done (and I know how tricky it can be to write poetry, so that's not token appreciation).

As Isabelle began to leave
She heard a quiet groan,
From underneath the ship's main deck
Came somebeast's painéd moan

       Personally, I would change, "pained," to, "painful." It flows a bit better in light of the poem, even if it might seem mildly strange in grammar context.

She cleansed his wounds and bandaged them,
She toiled long and hard,
And while she nursed and cared for him,
She sang her favorite song

       This one was bugging me a bit the second and fourth line finishers clash really hard (messing with flow, serving as an unwanted distraction). If you flip, "long and hard," it might feel a teensy bit strange saying the phrase backwards compared to the way it's normally said, but it's totally worth the line finishers not clashing with each other.

She cleansed his wounds and bandaged them,
She toiled hard and long,
And while she nursed and cared for him,
She sang her favorite song

       Aside from those rather minor critiques, I loved it! Really hope to read some more. 

[Wylder Treejumper]

I don't know if you caught this, but the accented "e" in "painéd" changes the pronunciation from monosyllabic to disyllabic (from payn'd to payn-ed). That resolves the flow problem; "painful" doesn't work in context anyways.

As for your second suggestion, it was originally as you suggested, but somehow it got mixed up when I typed it up. Good catch- I'll fix it right away.

Thanks for all the feedback, guys!

[Lady Ashenwyte]

The poem was top notch.