Sebias' Court House

[shisteer of nothing much]

Imaginary friends are biased.

Only if I make them biased.

Your honour, it would be helpful to know the details of said crimes. Are there any witnesses?

[Verdauga]

@Sebias of Redwall *Clears throat.*

[Sebias of Redwall]

*Is awoken* What, huh? What was that? Oh... *Clears throat and shuffles papers* Ah-hem! Let's see...

Imaginary friends are biased.

Only if I make them biased.

Your honour, it would be helpful to know the details of said crimes. Are there any witnesses?

Let's see, shall we? *Bangs hammer* Would any and all witnesses please stand forward so that we can stare at them judgingly we can preserve the justice?

[shisteer of nothing much]

Ahem. *steps forward* I would like to testify that the dance hall was currently being used for a Kaylee, or Scottish Country dance. The first party's actions interrupted the dance party, causing the awesome Scottish music to halt its progress. The second party then asked for help from the fourth party, an electrician who was present at the time, to fix the power so the CD player could work again. The electrician is now in hospital due to severe electric shocks and the awesome Scottish music still isn't working. *sits down, sniffing*

[Verdauga]

Your Honor, I have conflicting testimony. He was not an electrician at all. He was a DJ playing electro-dub music!

[The Shadow of Korriban]

*Sheev Palpatine arrives with a bag full of doctored images featuring hostile actions used by the the man in charge* I present these visual images featuring our "Good Judge" bullying a baby goat. This (kid's) emotions are raw, and his eyes are drowning in salty tears.

[shisteer of nothing much]

Your honour, Verdauga has got a bit confused. The second party was a DJ but he was definitely playing Scottish music, and the fourth party was still an electrician.

*Sheev Palpatine arrives with a bag full of doctored images featuring hostile actions used by the the man in charge* I present these visual images featuring our "Good Judge" bullying a baby goat. This (kid's) emotions are raw, and his eyes are drowning in salty tears.

Your honour, Sheev's testimony is clearly false. I've had goats and they don't have salty tears, and they don't have many non-salty tears either, definitely not enough to drown their eyes. Besides, in the picture, the kid looks perfectly happy and contented, nibbling on your robes.

[Verdauga]

Your Honor, these witnesses are conflicting each other and unsuitably offering evidence. I move that we declare a mistrial on the grounds of inappropriate procedure.

[shisteer of nothing much]

Your honour, everyone has different points of view and sees things in a different way. If our reports were all the same, it would be fair enough to be suspicious. However, our testimonies are varied, which makes them more likely to be true.

[Verdauga]

However, Neither of us are operating as attorneys. Therefore, we do not have the ability to offer evidence.

[One-Eye the wildcat]

Who's on trial, again?

[Verdauga]

I was, but I have no idea who is now. It might still be me; in which case I actually have the right to offer evidence as an attorney for defense.

[Sebias of Redwall]

Who's on trial, again?

This was my question as well. 

[Verdauga]

Now that you mention it, no defendant has been named.....weird.

[Sebias of Redwall]

Alright then. *Slams book* A-hem, any new cases?