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The Redwall Talk Show

Started by Jarky Thistlebrush, August 20, 2019, 08:57:51 AM

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Jarky Thistlebrush

August 20, 2019, 08:57:51 AM
The stage at Afterlife Salamandastron was empty, and the audience, consisting of all the characters in the Redwall series. They watched and waited with baited breath as the first participant, Splitnose, swaggered onto stage.
"Hello, me ole' muckers! Terday I will be on stage wi' me mukker..."
The following is a list of things to bring on holiday:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
42 ~ Seb's Humility ~ Seb's toothbrush ~ Seb's soul ~ Half a Plane ~ Your Toothbrush ~ A creeping anxiety every time you look at your toothbrush ~ Pure Terror every time you look at your toothbrush ~ Death every time you look at your toothbrush

I had to move everything off the list but the bare essentials to make way for this:

Jack the Quick

#1
August 22, 2019, 05:29:10 PM
Romsca ran onstage and took a bow.
"Oi thar, me 'earties. 'S Romsca!" Romsca said amidst the cheers of the characters.
"Splitnose! So good teh see ye! I 'aven't seen ye since the time 'o yer rebirth! Are we gonna begin, 'r what??"
'I ate the sharpest tool in the shed'

"Inconceivable!" ~Vizzini, The Princess Bride

"Art is never complete, only abandoned," ~Leonardo da Vinci

Long live the RRR!!

Jarky Thistlebrush

#2
August 22, 2019, 11:28:34 PM
Splitnose smiled, showing his gap-toothed grin.

"Sure we can, me ole' friend!"
The following is a list of things to bring on holiday:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
42 ~ Seb's Humility ~ Seb's toothbrush ~ Seb's soul ~ Half a Plane ~ Your Toothbrush ~ A creeping anxiety every time you look at your toothbrush ~ Pure Terror every time you look at your toothbrush ~ Death every time you look at your toothbrush

I had to move everything off the list but the bare essentials to make way for this:

Jack the Quick

#3
August 23, 2019, 12:57:16 AM
"Right! So, ow're weh doin' dis? Am ah askin' ye qustions, are ye arskin' meh questions or are weh jus' talkin'?
'I ate the sharpest tool in the shed'

"Inconceivable!" ~Vizzini, The Princess Bride

"Art is never complete, only abandoned," ~Leonardo da Vinci

Long live the RRR!!

Jarky Thistlebrush

#4
August 23, 2019, 07:00:01 AM
The curtain behind the pair parted, revealing a large badger. He tilted his head in acknowledgement of Splitnose and Romsca.
"Hello, you two. Tonight is a special celebration of the fact that I have permitted vermin to take part in the Afterlife Talk Show." the vermin in the audience cheered. The badger cleared his throat loudly.
"My name is Brocktree, Lord of this mountain, and I will be hosting this event. Now, Splitnose, Romsca, how do you feel about your respective vermin Warlords, Tsarmina Greeneyes and Ublaz Mad Eyes?"
The following is a list of things to bring on holiday:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
42 ~ Seb's Humility ~ Seb's toothbrush ~ Seb's soul ~ Half a Plane ~ Your Toothbrush ~ A creeping anxiety every time you look at your toothbrush ~ Pure Terror every time you look at your toothbrush ~ Death every time you look at your toothbrush

I had to move everything off the list but the bare essentials to make way for this:

Jack the Quick

#5
August 23, 2019, 06:19:39 PM
Romsca rubbed his hands together nervously. "Well, ye see, Ublaz was--ain't-- half bad. Sure, 'e made some not too great decisions, but 'e wasn't a bad guy. Naow, 'is Moniter general on da oder paw... Naow 'e was a bad beastie."
'I ate the sharpest tool in the shed'

"Inconceivable!" ~Vizzini, The Princess Bride

"Art is never complete, only abandoned," ~Leonardo da Vinci

Long live the RRR!!

Tungro

#6
August 23, 2019, 06:21:42 PM
Denya strolled into the studio, "I am not late am I Brock?"

Jarky Thistlebrush

#7
August 24, 2019, 02:38:23 AM
The badger chuckled, holding his paw out to his old friend.
"Certainly not! Now, these two were just talking about their vermin generals. I don't suppose you'd like to tell us a bit about Sawney Rath?
The following is a list of things to bring on holiday:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
42 ~ Seb's Humility ~ Seb's toothbrush ~ Seb's soul ~ Half a Plane ~ Your Toothbrush ~ A creeping anxiety every time you look at your toothbrush ~ Pure Terror every time you look at your toothbrush ~ Death every time you look at your toothbrush

I had to move everything off the list but the bare essentials to make way for this:

Tungro

#8
August 24, 2019, 03:48:26 PM
Denya stroked his chin thoughtfully, "He was a suborn and cruel creature, but he never did anything against me and always encouraged me. In the back of my mind something tells me there was more to him than most people thought."

Jarky Thistlebrush

#9
August 25, 2019, 12:17:01 AM
Lord Brocktree nodded thoughtfully.
"Maybe we could get him up on stage someday."
The following is a list of things to bring on holiday:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
42 ~ Seb's Humility ~ Seb's toothbrush ~ Seb's soul ~ Half a Plane ~ Your Toothbrush ~ A creeping anxiety every time you look at your toothbrush ~ Pure Terror every time you look at your toothbrush ~ Death every time you look at your toothbrush

I had to move everything off the list but the bare essentials to make way for this:

Tungro

#10
August 25, 2019, 12:57:54 AM
Denya nodded in agreement, "Might be nice to catch up, I hate to admit it, but we have be avoiding each other ever since I arrived. And with good reason"

Jarky Thistlebrush

#11
August 25, 2019, 01:17:53 AM
Brocktree turned his gaze to Splitnose and Romsca.
"What about you two? Have anything to say about your bosses?"
The following is a list of things to bring on holiday:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
42 ~ Seb's Humility ~ Seb's toothbrush ~ Seb's soul ~ Half a Plane ~ Your Toothbrush ~ A creeping anxiety every time you look at your toothbrush ~ Pure Terror every time you look at your toothbrush ~ Death every time you look at your toothbrush

I had to move everything off the list but the bare essentials to make way for this:

Luftwaffles

#12
June 27, 2020, 06:42:57 AM Last Edit: June 27, 2020, 06:46:14 AM by Luftwaffles
*Cluny bursts on stage, kicking furniture and toppling stuff over as he makes his way to the center of the frame*.

"Well, well... whatever have we here? Who among you was foolish enough to try to hide this thing from the Scourge himself?!"

*Cluny takes a seat on the couch nearest to the host*.

"I believe that the... topic of discussion has suddenly changed. A favorable change for sure. And I'm sure that your audience is really going to enjoy learning all about me, wouldn't you agree?" *With a swift movement, Cluny sinks several inches of his sword on the desk immediately next to the nervous host*.
~Please be sure to join us if ever you are passing~.
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Jarky Thistlebrush

#13
June 27, 2020, 09:16:19 AM Last Edit: July 11, 2020, 12:42:04 AM by Jarky Thistlebrush
Lord Brocktree reflected that his age had not in any way improved either his mental or physical health. The old badger wearily offered a slice of pizza to the giant rat.
"This is the afterlife, Mr. I can't die again.  Care for a slice of pizza? It's meat lover's."

Splitnose squealed and ran behind a curtain, screeching. He trembled slightly, whipping a butter knife from his belt and holding it out defensively in his shaking paws.
The following is a list of things to bring on holiday:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
42 ~ Seb's Humility ~ Seb's toothbrush ~ Seb's soul ~ Half a Plane ~ Your Toothbrush ~ A creeping anxiety every time you look at your toothbrush ~ Pure Terror every time you look at your toothbrush ~ Death every time you look at your toothbrush

I had to move everything off the list but the bare essentials to make way for this:

Verdauga

#14
July 11, 2020, 11:54:54 AM
With a dull boom the door leading to the stage slammed shut. A hulking, weary wildcat strode to the stage and took a seat directly across the desk from Lord Brocktree.
"I heard you were suddenly allowing folk like me in." Verdauga said, dismissing the idea of an invitation. "Well, do I get pizza too, or is it only offered to rats with delusions of grandeur?"
I've been looking back over these past few months, and I've felt off. Felt different. At the time, I wanted nothing more than to go back to the good old days.
But now? Could I just ignore all the ways I've suffered and grown? Caught hold and let go? Could I return from life, having now lived?
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