The Wedding of VerdSteer of Nothing Much

[shisteer of nothing much]

I actually just started, but it takes awhile when you are busy with work.  So...

Ooo, I'm patron sponsor?  What does that entail?

It's a sort of glorified Master of Ceremonies for the whole thing.
"A Patron Sponsor's duties are relatively clear cut. As Patron Sponsor, you are charged with adding a sense of royal cachet to proceedings. Your second duty is to provide an extremely expensive present to the bride and groom." (adapted slightly from Erak's Ransom to apply to second person)

Since we're not actually going to have a wedding and are just planning it for the fun, you can probably be excused from the second duty.

[Kade Rivok]

Mmm, mmm, in that case, I shall do my utmost to see to it that there is enough grandeur to befit such an occasion!

[shisteer of nothing much]

Okay, just bear in mind, the wedding won't actually happen so try to keep the exciting bits before the ceremony.

[Ebantu the Kararehe]

Te-er! That's so boring. It can't be a wedding without the ceremony.

Yes. Ranger's Apprentice.
Come on, Verdauga. I know Teer is annoying, *grins wickedly at Teer* but she's not that bad. Besides, you're going to miss the ceilidh!

*shakes head* Your health is going to be in grave danger next time we see each other, Eb.

I know. But I'll live. (probably)

[shisteer of nothing much]

Boring or not, the ceremony is the part that actually causes one to be married, therefore, it won't be happening. We will have the ceilidh and wedding feast beforehand.
Oh, by the way, we'll need a Bores' table. (Lady Georgina of Sandalhurst can be the first person on it)

[Ebantu the Kararehe]

You are a very rude person. We need to somehow lure Verdauga back so we can have the ceilidh. Also (mea culpa), ceilidhs are Scottish, not Shetlandish.

[shisteer of nothing much]

At least I'm inviting her! She is very boring indeed and, as far as I know, she hasn't been going on about how I'll be an old maid forever so there really isn't a reason to invite her.
I know. I was just seeing how long it would take for you to figure it out. As for luring Verdauga back, let's just start without him. There isn't going to be a proper wedding anyway so we don't really need a groom.

[One-Eye the wildcat]

...

I'm just here for the open bar...

[Sebias of Redwall]

Yes. Ranger's Apprentice.
Come on, Verdauga. I know Teer is annoying, *grins wickedly at Teer* but she's not that bad. Besides, you're going to miss the ceilidh!

*shakes head* Your health is going to be in grave danger next time we see each other, Eb.

Boring or not, the ceremony is the part that actually causes one to be married, therefore, it won't be happening. We will have the ceilidh and wedding feast beforehand.
Oh, by the way, we'll need a Bores' table. (Lady Georgina of Sandalhurst can be the first person on it)

Hmm...who else should we put on there...

Spoiler

Yes, I'm well aware that I'm setting myself up for this

[close]

[Kade Rivok]

What's a Bores' table?

[Booklover]

You don't know? It's where you put all the annoying people so they can annoy each other instead of annoying you. However, if you invite Skandians (which you should, becaus uninvited Skandians are worse), don't put them there. If they get annoyed...

[Jarky Thistlebrush]

Why hello, everyone!

[Booklover]

Hi. Welcome back to the Crazy Club.

[Jarky Thistlebrush]

I think I've now passed crazy.

[Booklover]

Well, the Crazy Club has always been a misnomer.