The Forum News Network

[The Shadow of Korriban]

Good evening, viewers.  We have a mass of stories just waiting to be told. 

NUMBER ONE:  The disappearance of Jarky Thistlebrush is indeed mysterious.  Some say it had to do with the local crime syndicate formed by an evil cat.

Coffee break:

[One-Eye the wildcat]

No comment.

[Kade Rivok]

BREAKING NEWS:  Our correspondent at Sebias' Courthouse has informed us of a current situation.  It appears Ebantu the Kararehe, lass of something much, and Mharbrow PhantomPaint (all new, but well known forum goers) are all actually the same person.  An investigation into the matter was originally started by yours truly, and conducted by our very own Verdauga, before being brought to the court.  All three have confessed and are awaiting judgement.   We'll update more as the situation develops.  Back to you, Sheev.

[The Shadow of Korriban]

What once appeared to be false, looks now to be one of the strangest truths of the year.

[Booklover]

Good evening, viewers.  We have a mass of stories just waiting to be told. 

NUMBER ONE:  The disappearance of Jarky Thistlebrush is indeed mysterious.  Some say it had to do with the local crime syndicate formed by an evil cat.

Coffee break:

I appreciate that. Getting provided with coffee is far better than boring/annoying ads.

[The Shadow of Korriban]

Heads up:  Intelligence reports Hickory had this news idea first.  And he did indeed create a topic with the same name.  I did not know this until after I created this thread so...  Let us continue.

Is Verdauga a traitor?  Does he know something that should be told to all-comers?  That's a story we will dive into tonight.  But first, a word from our sponsors.

[Kade Rivok]

*Scene fades in as banjo music begins and a person with a very thick (American) southern accent begins talking animatedly.*


Hey there kids!  Do you like red walls?  I'm SURE YOU DO, otherwise you wouldn't be here!  Hyuk hyuk! 

Well, if so, then you need to come on down and visit Red Walls and Baby Dolls!  We have a HUGE assortment of walls! 

Do you want wood?  Brick?  METAL?  We got 'em!  And, of course, they're ALL RED! 

AND, for a LIMITED TIME, we're giving away FREE BABY DOLLS with every purchase of one of our fabulous RED WALLS!  What a steal!


*Scene and music fade out.*

Disclaimer: Red walls may or may not be painted with blood and baby dolls may or may not be possessed by the vengeful spirits of those used to paint the walls red.  User discretion advised.

[Booklover]

Good evening, viewers.  We have a mass of stories just waiting to be told. 

NUMBER ONE:  The disappearance of Jarky Thistlebrush is indeed mysterious.  Some say it had to do with the local crime syndicate formed by an evil cat.

Coffee break:

I appreciate that. Getting provided with coffee is far better than boring/annoying ads.

Oh. Seems there are adverts after all.

[Kade Rivok]

Gotta pay the bills somehow.

[The Shadow of Korriban]

The truth.

[Verdauga]

Is Verdauga a traitor?  Does he know something that should be told to all-comers?  That's a story we will dive into tonight.  But first, a word from our sponsors.

<_<

-_-

>_>

=_=

[One-Eye the wildcat]

*Scene fades in as banjo music begins and a person with a very thick (American) southern accent begins talking animatedly.*


Hey there kids!  Do you like red walls?  I'm SURE YOU DO, otherwise you wouldn't be here!  Hyuk hyuk! 

Well, if so, then you need to come on down and visit Red Walls and Baby Dolls!  We have a HUGE assortment of walls! 

Do you want wood?  Brick?  METAL?  We got 'em!  And, of course, they're ALL RED! 

AND, for a LIMITED TIME, we're giving away FREE BABY DOLLS with every purchase of one of our fabulous RED WALLS!  What a steal!


*Scene and music fade out.*

Disclaimer: Red walls may or may not be painted with blood and baby dolls may or may not be possessed by the vengeful spirits of those used to paint the walls red.  User discretion advised.

This reminded me of that eminem song "My name is"

[Kade Rivok]

Breaking News:  There is a serious lack of breaking news.  More on this later.

[Booklover]

Breaking news: Please do not smash, rip, or tear your newspapers or the devices that you are viewing this on. Thank you for your kind consideration of inanimate objects.

[The Shadow of Korriban]

Breaking news:  Verdauga has been stealing goods from the Happy Pharmacy.  Police are searching for his location.